


Warbride

by SatansSin



Series: Thorki AU [2]
Category: The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: AU, Arranged Marriage, Blackmail, Consent Issues, Dark Magic, F/M, Forced Marriage, Innocent Loki, M/M, Mpreg, Political Marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-08
Updated: 2014-02-06
Packaged: 2017-12-18 03:21:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 32
Words: 314,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/875041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SatansSin/pseuds/SatansSin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Captured in a war between the Aesir and Jotnar, Loki, the bastard son of King Laufey, is kept in the Aesir camp as someone to sate carnal desires.</p><p>And though he escapes unscathed later, it isn't the end of his problems.</p><p>For he is sold in political marriage to his very captor; a Jotun slayer.</p><p>He is ruthless and Loki is innocent.</p><p>It is a match made in Hel</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

It could very easily be said that the events that lead to the meeting of two unlikely souls, were set in motion by fair Lady Jane herself. That it was her delicate hand, her dainty finger that upset the balance that kept two kingdoms on a thread of peace where both parties danced around each other, touching that thread but never truly breaking it. 

Asgard was powerful, stronger than all realms combined and Jotunhiem was wild, feral to the point of being barbaric and though they would be rather easy to defeat without their casket, neither realm wanted to test that fact. Asgard was careful, Jotunhiem was wary.

And it rested solely on the mutual respect both kings had for each other.

Where Odin was an all knowing, powerful man, wiser than all, Laufey was clever and knew nothing good would come from fighting the Golden Realm herself. They met often, talked often and it was understood that they had a standing, though tense, friendship.

It was also known that while Frigga, All mother and Queen to Odin accepted this friendship and met Laufey with the respect he deserved every time they met, Laufey’s mate and consort offered no such hand of camaraderie.

For Farbauti was of the old thinking, coming from a Jotun land that still harbored a deep hatred of the Aesir and would do anything to annihilate them. He was tough, cruel, sadistic and feared in his realm and most others because of his ruthless attitude. He moved without mercy and killed with a sadist hand that left none alive.

All the nine realms knew him, all the nine realms feared him.

For they knew the only thing that was stopping him from destroying everything around was Laufey.

Farbauti may insult all realms and declare himself above the rules and destroy what he needed to without cause if he had something to gain, but since he came from his tribe, the one still bound to the old ways, he obeyed his king. He roared about it, he threatened and often hit Laufey, but he obeyed him when the order was given and no matter what went through him, what internal rage feasted on him and stoked his rage, he would move off, back off and stay where Laufey told him to.

Because in the end, he was still a consort, brought to the royal city because of his strength and unwavering loyalty to Jotunhiem.

But that was all about to change, because a mortal, one fair Lady Jane had already set in motion the ripples that would invoke a second war between the realms and change the destiny of every living being that resided above.

Especially the fate of two who never saw it coming…

***

Golden prince Thor was born in a palace of gold and amber, with a gold spoon in his mouth and the power of an entire realm behind him.

It was said it thundered and shone the skies, the might of this young babe, so small in the hands of his mother, Queen Frigga who had fallen into a slumber an hour after the birth, far too exhausted to keep track of who now held the bilgesnipe she had pushed into the world.  

For Thor wasn’t an easy birth.

And Odin, one who remained by his wife while she transformed from a gentle, soft woman to a screaming, cursing hellion, vowed to eternal celibacy if it meant never seeing this side of his wife again.

But he remained with her, stroking her hair as their child was born, as the thunder roared above and lightning clashed, falling to the ground with every painful contraction poor Frigga had to endure. He chanted to her soothing words every time she cursed him and he made her promises when she threatened him.

Gifts so lavish it shamed the elves were already piled in his room, ready for his wife’s acceptance. For Odin knew from experience that once the child was born, once her cursing was faded and once she went back to being a calm woman, Frigga would love everything he did for her.

And gifts were only the beginning.

Odin had yet to hold his new babe. He had seen him, of course and named him, but didn’t hold him. It was the simple fact that his wife needed him more at the moment that kept him away from Thor, who was now cuddled and bundled in the softest silks, lying in a crib in the healer’s room while his brother, four year old Balder, watched from his tip toes.

Balder was the said experience that taught Odin most of the tricks to please his wife and as Odin looked upon the brown haired, blue eyed First prince, he smiled.

Balder, wise even in this young age, was afraid of touching his new baby brother, though it was plain he wanted to. He would raise a hand and try to touch the golden locks his brother had taken from their mother but stopped every time.

Their nursemaid, one beautiful Idunn, brought here a millennia ago and a Queen in her land before her ousting, had insisted she become Balder’s nurse the moment Odin had called her to see the child. She fell in love with him and her eternal youth had the boy captured immediately.

And what a pair they made, running about like brother and sister more often than mot and planting seeds of trees Idunn was fond of growing. They danced and pranced and Balder played his instruments while Idunn spun around to the tunes. They were inseparable and Odin had come upon the idea to shift Idunn’s chambers closer to the Royals because her immortal youth and his eternal wisdom was a match perfect within his mind.

Now, he watched them both as they looked upon Thor, the sleeping babe that had chosen that very moment to open his eyes.

Balder’s eyes widened as did Odin’s smile when Thor locked bright blue eyes in his elder brother and gave him the cockiest of toothless grins he could muster. He gleeful shriek rose from the crib and Idunn giggled before she reached in and grabbed the new born babe.

She didn’t ask permission, something both Frigga and Odin had given up on decades ago, but she obeyed every unspoken command given to her and even now cradled the babe close to her as she showed him to Balder.

Balder gasped, jumping upon the bench Idunn occupied and sat beside her to lean over and see his brother.

Idunn snapped her fingers before Thor’s eyes, then his ears as if checking for faults within him. But Thor both followed her fingers and turned his head to the sound, his tiny mouth open in infant awe.

“Look upon him, young Balder” she said, finally showing the new big brother his charge “the new bane of your existence”

Odin chuckled and shok his head, watching carefully.

“Bane?” young Balder asked, his eyes wide and curious as he once more raised a hand to Thor.

“Problem” Idunn defined

He gasped and froze when Thor grabbed his finger in his tiny fist and kicked in happiness, giggling before shoving it in his mouth.

Balder made a noise of disgust as tried to pull his hand back.

He was stopped when Idunn grabbed his hand gently and looked him in the eye.

“Not so harshly, young one” she said “ babes this small need an anchor in their young lives. It seems young Thor had chosen you”

Awed beyond his explanation, Balder watched, making a mental vow to do anything and everything he could to keep his little brother safe from any and all harm.

“Thor” Balder said the name for the first time “my baby brother”

Odin, who watched the exchange from a far, turned to his sleeping wife before giving her a peck on the cheek and letting go the hand he held so tightly within his own. He stood, a magnificent king of silver and might, and walked over to where Idunn held his new babe.

Balder looked at his father and grinned while Idunn totally ignored him in favor of prying open Thor’s tiny mouth and gazing within.

“I shall prepare apple juices for this young one” she spoke to no one in particular “for his teeth will be crooked and I cannot have that”

Odin, who had long since gotten used to Idunn’s prattling, simply shook his head before reaching down and laying a large hand over Thor’s head.

The infant jerked a little, prompting Idunn to glare at Odin in reprimand, before he sat beside the young girl and asked for his babe.

“Will you startle him again?” Idunn asked “I hope you do, then he will soil your clothes and I shall laugh”

Odin chuckled “Than I shall endeavor to scare the very soils from within him, just to hear your laughter”  
Idunn scoffed in good humor “If it is my laughter you so crave, why not wake your wife and hide from her wrath? That gave me a good bout of mirth and is bound to do so again”

“Don’t you have apples to peel?”

“Don’t you have a kingdom to run o the ground?” she countered.

Odin shook his head and looked upon Balder and Thor.

“Nay” he said “now I have two heirs to do that for me”

Idunn rolled her eyes to Valhalla “Norns above! So deluded are you to think a toddler and a new born babe can run a kingdom?”

Odin raised a brow to her as he rocked Thor “Deluded? Nay, never with these two. They were born to be kings”

“And you were born with two eyes” Idunn said “see how fast that changes?”

Odin raised his single gaze to her and chuckled “I see your apples have improved your wit, young Idunn”

“It never needed improving” she smiled and tickled Thor’s chin to try and make him soil himself over Odin “I was always perfect”

“That you were, my lady”

Idunn blushed “As you are the perfect king to this and all realms, your highness”

“That sounded like a compliment”

“I know not what you mean” she said, pulling back “Come along, Balder, we shall go apple picking. You shall have the whole of your life to take care of this little monster”

Balder, ever obedient, jumped off the bench before looking at Thor once more. This time, as his father watched, he raised a hand and rested it, feather light, upon his brother’s locks.

Immediately, Thor startled and looked around, eyes unfocused.

Odin smiled when he felt a warmth spread over his arms and clothes.

From her face, Idunn noticed but other than a twinkle in her eye, she gave no response. Instead, she took Balder’s hand and guided him out, a skip in her step that made her flaxen hair bounce and prance.

Once the door closed behind them, Odin looked back at Thor.

The child giggled, reached out and tugged his beard before kicking him.

Odin laughed “So in addition to being a portable latrine, my child, you shall prove to be a fine warrior?”

Thor listened to the deep treble of his father’s voice before once more, grinning.

“Charming little one aren’t you?”

Once more, Thor tugged at his beard and laughing, Odin reached down and kissed his forehead.

“My child” he said “my Thor”

From behind, where even his sight couldn’t see, Frigga smiled at her husband before closing her eyes once more and falling into another well earned slumber.

***

When Asgard celebrated the tenth birthday of young Thor, every one heard. It was a massive feast that called all royalty from realms afar and they all attended.

Except for Laufey.

It wasn’t that he didn’t wish to go, he truly did, but at that moment, the very same day, his third child was being born.

No one knew, not even his mate Farbauti, because it was his secret. His blood and his betrayal.

The Elvin woman, one he had met and bedded almost a year ago, was in her rooms, screaming as she brought life forth.

He had met her long ago and had been enchanted by her beauty and wit. Her charm and magic tricks reeled her in and soon, she lured him into her bed, excited about the prospect of bedding Laufey, King of Jotunhiem.

With her magic, she had made it possible for him to shrink in stature, still taller than any she had seen but incapable of hurting her.

Not that he would; she meant a lot to him.

In fact, she meant so much to him that he had kept her a secret from his kingdom. He had bought her a house and gave her enough gold to keep herself in a good life and she in turn, stayed by him, promising to bear more than his child when the time came.

And now, as he heard her screams, he paced, his Elvin disguise firmly in place by his own magic and his face tormented.

His thoughts held him captive and the trouble both he and the child would be in should Farbauti discover this secret. A love child was something that would destroy his marriage and turn his elder sons against him.

He frowned, well, Byleistr would turn against him. Helbindi already chose Farbauti over him and it was no secret, but Byleistr was someone whose support he couldn’t risk losing.

Another shriek tore through his thoughts and he wished he could do something to help.

But the midwives kept him at bay and helped his woman as much as they could.

He paced, hands behind his back as he thought about what the child would be like.

A girl, mayhap, just like her mother. With a little less warrior’s attitude than his beloved had, maybe, because he couldn’t face the thought of his darling going off into battle.

Laufey cherished the thought of a baby girl because it would be a treasure he would guard with his life.

It didn’t mean he didn’t care for his boys, but with a single gender race like the Jotuns, there were no chances for miracles like these.

A princess; the first princess in Jotun history…

His feet stopped when he realized that it wasn’t possible. The child would illegitimate and therefore unable to take the throne.

It would be royal, if Laufey chose to take it to Jotunhiem, an encounter he didn’t truly cherish, and tell the world it was his but it couldn’t take the throne.

He sighed and began to pace again.

He was thinking too much into the future. His beloved would never allow him to take the child; she knew the perils as well as he.

The child would be here, kept in a wonderful life and kept a secret, because  no matter what, its life would be in peril more often than not.

So lost was he in his thoughts that he never heard the screaming stop and the shrill crying start.

It was only when a midwife touched his arm that Laufey spun around, eyes wide.

“A boy” she said, holding a small, cooing bundle in her arms.

Laufey felt a twinge of regret at it not being a girl but took the bundle, his little miracle without knowing.

Green eyes.

That was the first thing he saw. Large as diamonds and twice as bright, green eyes looked up at him, unfocused and blinking as they gazed upon his father. Skin as white as Jotun snow and hair darker than a raven’s feathers, his son looked up at him, kicking the limbs he had no control over.

The midwife muttered something and it took Laufey a whole minute to register.

“What?” he asked, his breath stopping in his throat as he looked upon the woman before him.

“We did everything we could think of” she said, tears in her eyes “it was too much for her”

Laufey didn’t hear the rest, his eyes went to the door, which a midwife was slowly closing and fixed on the figure that lay, still as stone with her blood still on the sheets as they covered her.

His beloved, the beautiful elf he’d been taken by, had her eyes closed in death as a white sheet covered her beautiful face from his gaze.

Laufey didn’t know he had fallen to his knees until the woman moved and took his child from his limp arms lest he dropped him.

And it was then that his world came crashing down on him.

***

“You shall never catch me!”

Balder, sixteen years old and already a promising young man, ran ahead of his brother, passing and startling young maids, scaring servants as he ran, wooden sword held aloft and battle cries rising to the ceiling while his game commenced.

Behind him, only a few feet behind, Thor chased him, a thick burlap sack he pretended was a cape was around his shoulders as he too held a wooden sword and tried to catch his prey.

“Alas, filthy Jotun!” he yelled “not even ankles as pudgy as yours can carry you forever!”

Balder cackled in laughter and saw a staircase leading to the verandas he leapt on the railing, sliding down with ease and skidding to a perfect stop on the marble.

He looked behind him and saw Thor do exactly the same before continuing his chase.

The sun was high in the sky that day and the marble shone under its kisses. Servants sprayed it with water to cool down for the evening when most of the nobles and respected councilmen came to relax for the evenings.

The moment Balder saw the water, he stopped, raising a hand for Thor to do the same.

Thor padded to a stop, looking at Balder with a raised eyebrow.

Balder gestured to the water and grinned. A moment later, Thor got his meaning and both of them dropped their swords.

The poor servants had time only to realize what was happening before both princes leapt on the marble and slid across to see who would reach the farthest.

The shallow water dampened their silk robes but they cared naught, only focusing on getting as far as they could before they stopped.

Thor jumped to his feet the moment he won, throwing his hands in the air and laughing at Balder.

“Jotun!” he pointed to his brother “you shall never win for the might of Thor is far greater than…”

Thor broke off, shrieking like a girl he was suddenly doused with cold water, wetting him from top to toe.

Balder, already on the ground, fell back, pointing at Thor and laughing at the sad sight he made.

“And the mighty Thor will never win against a bucket of water!” he wheezed.

Thor spun around and stared at the servants behind him.

They grinned before both of them lifted another bucket and, before he could react, doused him again.

Thor yelled before wiping his face and grinning

“I see how it is!” he yelled at the servants “allies to the Jotun right behind me! Go ahead, do your worse!”

Chuckling and shaking their heads, the servants filled the buckets up again and threw the water over Thor.

He was drenched by now, his thick hair plastered to his face when Balder stood.

“Halt!” he raised a hand, stopping another attack “for my allies are noble and cannot fight and unarmed enemy!”

The servants, a man and woman a little older than him, exchanged a few gazes.

“Give him a bucket to fight fair” Balder grinned.

“Aye, your Majesty” the woman grabbed an empty bucket and brought it to Thor before telling him where the water supply was.

Thor grinned and followed her and Balder looked at the man 

“Your name, good man”

“Sven, my lord” the man replied “and that is my wife, Thea. We have worked here for three years, your majesty”

“Well” Balder said, bowing to him “Today you are Laufey and Farbauti, my allies against Thor The Vile. Tell me, dear Laufey, King of the Jotuns, do you accept my offer to wage war against him? “

Sven chuckled “As you desire, noble warrior”

“Nay” Balder held up a hand, not coming out of his bow “I am Nal, feared Jotun King, thrown aside for favor to you, my brother, but forced to join his war against Thor”

Sven laughed and bowed back “As you desire, Nal”

By this time, Thor and Thea came back, buckets filled and ready for action.

Balder gave an exaggerated yell and pointed behind Sven “Quick! Brother! I see Thor The Vile! Douse him in acid before he captures fair Farbauti”

Thor gave an evil chuckle and gently placed an arm around Thea’s throat, an evil expression on his face

“Aha! Lay your arms down lest you want this one to perish!”

“No!” Sven gave a howl of agony and fell to his knees “Please! Leave my mate be! For who will beat me with sticks and stones and break my bones?”

Thea and Thor gave snorts undignified laughter, doubling over with their hands around them as they laughed at Laufey’s impression.

Balder, who was on his rear, gave a howl of mirth “Excellent! Excellent, Sven”

Still on his knees, Sven bowed “Thank you”

Their peals of laughter made the few people about turn and look, shaking their heads at their princes, smiles on their faces.

When their mirth subsided, their game began in earnest and soon, they hurled water like ammunition against each other.

As time passed, more and more servants joined in and soon a full bodied battle took place, drenching everyone as they fought as Aesir and Jotun. Bodies fell, laughter rose, exaggerated screams filled the skies and up above, from the castle, Odin watched.

He glowed with pride as he saw his boys play and battle with the servants, using them as shields or shielding them, then collapsing in the laughter that seemed never ending.

Beside him, Frigga watched as well, her face beaming in pride at her sons.

“They know not the difference among servant or prince at the moment”

“Aye” Odin smiled “and they never will, because they have hearts of gold, my lovely.”

Frigga chuckled “And sometimes skulls thicker than that. I have not forgotten Thor’s recent attempt at tricking you into letting him go to Vanahiem”

Odin chuckled at the memory “Aye. Perhaps I should have let him go, he would have returned traumatized and never asked such again”

Frigga snickered “Or maybe he would like their liberated society far too much and chosen to life out his remaining days there”

“That’s a thought”

Odin turned and walked over to where his beautiful wife sat, a script in her hand

“What is it that you read, my fig?”

Frigga smiled “Fig? Is that a pleasant way of telling me I am wrinkling up?”

“Never” he came over and sat at her feet, lifting a hand to kiss “That would be a prune, not fig, my darling. You will know the difference when you hear it”

Frigga extracted her hand and raised a brow “ _When_ I hear it?”

“ _If_ I said if my love” he remedied instantly “and you never answered my question”

“Clever retreat, you old bag” she said before showing it to him “Balder wrote me a verse. Read it to me and I might forgive you for calling me old”

“I never called …” Odin broke off, sighing “As you wish. Let me see”

He lifted the paper and looked at it.  
 _“Hair like spun gold,_ _  
 _Eyes like diamonds stolen,_  
 _My mother grows neither weary nor old,_  
 _Her love grows only stronger, more bold,_  
 _And with a patience never ending,_  
 _She cares for both us_  
 _And an ego far too swollen”__

Odin frowned at the last before lifting his eyes to Frigga.

She was snickering behind her hand and he inclined his jaw.

“An ego far too swollen?” he asked “Pray, this is not me, my beloved”

“Balder always had a good sense of humor”

Odin slit his gaze “Says I that you find this far too entertaining. Are you sure you didn’t aid him in writing this?”

She shrugged “I may have given him a few ideas”

Odin nodded and moved dangerously “Aye, I’m sure you did…!”

Frigga laughed loudly when Odin lifted her out of her divan and carried her to the bedroom, making half hearted protests the whole time he carried her over his shoulder.

*** 

“Will I ever see him, Father?” his child asked “the mighty Thor?”

Laufey, seated in his chambers before the window and reading one of the few tomes his personal library held, looked upon his youngest and smiled.

Loki, he had called him. Because this child was born from magic and needed a name so beautiful.

Even as six years of age, as he stared at the stars above and looked upon the one he called Asgard, his green were bright with curiosity and a desire to learn. 

Loki was everything his other sons were not.

He was intelligent, well mannered and shy. He had a charm that would bring about a hundred to him like moths do to flames, had the boy been given a chance.

But no, to him fates were not kind.

The moment he had been brought to Jotunhiem, bundled within clothing Laufey had gathered from his dead lover’s home, Loki had been shunned.

The people called him a runt, a half thing that Jotunhiem had no use of and something that shamed the name of Laufey. Even his children, both Helbindi and Byleistr disliked him, calling him weak and pathetic and set bets as to when this half thing would die.

It was the first time Laufey had hit his own ward.

As for Farbauti, his reaction was just as Laufey feared.

He wanted the child dead, demanded he be thrown aside and buried within the ice because he wouldn’t stand it. He tried to kill him and Laufey wasn’t going to let that happen.

It was the first time they had fought – actually fought against each other with blows that broke bones and shattered their hearts.

And then, in a fit of rage irrepressible, Laufey had banished Faubauti.

It had stunned the entire kingdom and turned Farbauti into a monster. He had taken Helbindi with him and threatened Laufey before he left.

He would return, Farbauti said, and he would harm Loki in ways Laufey couldn’t fathom. Then when he would be nothing but a broken shell, he would kill him and use his skin to make himself a sheath.

Laufey didn’t lie and say he wasn’t terrified.

Then Farbauti had left and a mixture of awe and fear settled over Jotunhiem’s kingdom.

For the Jotun would return and nothing would stop him from wreaking revenge upon those that remained silent while he had been shunned and thrown aside.

Because of Loki.

It was there the resentment started, and as the years passed, it turned to hate and a desire to hurt.

And now Loki had to remain either with Laufey or Byleistr.

His elder hadn’t accepted Loki as Laufey hoped he did, but because he cared for Laufey, he listened when his father told him to take care of his brother.

He did so reluctantly, but he did obey and that was better than nothing at all.

So now, Loki had no one but him and Laufey spent all time he could on the boy.

“Do you wish to?” he asked Loki now “meet Thor?”

Loki turned back, his childish face full of anticipation and excitement, his green eyes shining brightly.

“Aye”

He jumped off the window sill he had been leaning on and ran to his father.

He was so small, Laufey smiled, that Laufey could fit him in both his hands. He lowered himself enough to let Loki climb into his palms, like a Midgardian would lift a  cat, so he could bring him closer to his face and look into his eyes.

“They say he shines like the sun” Loki told him “and his hair is spun gold”

Laufey chuckled “And who told you that?”

Loki pretended to think. His tiny face scrunched up and Laufey chuckled before nudging him gently.

“What have I told you about lying?”

Loki bit his lip and looked guilty.

Laufey chuckled because there was a huge difference between Loki _looking_ guilty and Loki _feeling_ guilty.

“I wasn’t lying” the boy said

Laufey slit his gaze then, without warning, held Loki upside down, making him shriek in laughter.

“Father, stop!” Loki giggled, kicking and screaming when Laufey began to tickle him.

“The truth, my young one”

Loki screeched in laughter before he gave up “Aye aye, I was being dishonest!”

Chuckling, Laufey set Loki down on his knee and waited for his laughter to subside.

Loki lay there, giggling a while before he sobered and looked up at his large father.

“Forgive me, Father” Loki said “I truly thought that is what he looked like”

“Did you, now?”

Loki nodded

“Well” Laufey leaned back and Loki sat astride his knee “Perhaps I can take you there the next time I go”

Loki’s eyes went wide “Truly, Father?”

“Aye”

“You promise?”

Laufey grinned at his boy “I promise”

Had he known it then, that the promise he just made would be broken in the harshest of ways, Laufey would never have given Loki such hope.


	2. The Jotun and The Aesir

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And things are set in motion

The skies of Jotunhiem were, as always, dark and gloomy, an honor of sorts, to the cruel King that now sat upon the throne.

Winds howled and moaned in agony because the kingdom that had once been wonderful, now lay as rot. The castle that had been the gem of Jotunhiem’s capital was now a crumbling waste. The lands that were once filled with the thickest trees now lay barren under blankets of ice and snow.

The people, once content and happy, were now coarse and hard, callous and murderous. Survival was the primary concern and nothing got in their way to gain it. Hardly any life remained in the land of the Frost Giants and it showed upon the faces of her people.

Despair, anger blame and murder shone brightest along with jealousy and petty thinking.

It was a step away from death and their King, the once banished Farbauti did nothing to help it.

For he had a vengeance to fill and that was the only thought in his mind ever since he heard of the death of his former mate.

Laufey had kept the kingdom safe, Farbauti couldn’t care less. For his own desires came first, the Kingdom came second.

So involved was he in his own selfishness, he had refused to meet the All Father when the man came over for peace talks.

Jotunhiem would not make peace so long as the Aesir breathed, Odin had been told, so go. Kill yourself and half of Asgard before daring to return to him.

The All Father had nodded, his face forever grim, and went back to his shining, living _breathing_ realm without a backwards glance.

Farbauti’s mouth twisted in anger when he saw the Bifrost’s light wan and spun around, striding to the end of the hallway where he was met by a set of large, carved ice doors. He shoved them open and marched in, almost making his son, Helbindi, fall off the throne he had been sitting on.

“Dam!” he cried, jumping off the throne he had been sprawled on “What has happened?”

Farbauti growled at him, his sharp teeth shining in the dim light on the room.

“Nothing _happened_ , you insignificant fool! Get off my throne!”

Helbindi, long used to his father talking to him like that, simply nodded his head and turned to leave.

“And get me my betrothed” Fabauti yelled after him “I find myself in need of entertainment”

Even Helbindi, who had no love Farbauti’s betrothed, felt a chill crawl up his spine as he went to do as he was asked.

His father was a truly twisted man.

***

“Another!”

Balder rolled his eyes at the voice of the only man arrogant enough in the hall to ask for his mead directly after finishing his first.

The dining hall, reserved tonight for a celebration feast for young Sif, beautiful maiden and warrior, was a cacophony of cheering and sound and raucous laughter. Men cheered and women fell into their welcoming arms, mead kegs were slammed and food abundant.

Sif herself sat opposite Fandral, beating him like the true warrior she was in a drinking competition. His face was flushed and excited, hers was cool and calm.

And Thor, a judge to the whole event, was drunk enough not to sit properly and so immersed in his own drink he didn’t even notice Fandral giving up and laying his head upon the table with a defeated groan.

A cheer erupted as Sif stood on the bench, hands raised in victory and not a stagger in her step. She smiled when she caught sight of Balder and sauntered over.

“Your Majesty” she bowed her head in respect.

“My lady” Balder lifted her hand to his lips for a kiss “allow me to congratulate you on a feat as mighty as yours”

She waved it aside “It was no feat. My true test lies ahead when I use my status for my future challenges.”

“Such fun” Balder chuckled, then laughed harder when she punched his arm.

“Oh dear…”

The sing song voice was heard above the roar of the crowd and both Sif and Balder turned. Sif’s expression turned sour and Balder grinned, his face shining.

“Dearest Madam” he said, nodding his respect to the new comer.

Idunn, dressed in a blue dress, flimsy and delicate, barely concealing her ample bosom, glided forward, hand extended for Balder to kiss.

“I am not interrupting something, am I?” she asked in her sing song voice.

Not that she would care, Sif thought before forcing a smile upon her lips “Idunn”

“Sif” Idunn smiled “glad to see you make it so far in a man’s field. I hardly recognize you because of the warrior you have become”

Sif simpered “Hard to believe, since you seem to know every warrior around us”

Balder sensed the tension between the two women and thought about a hasty retreat, but he was saved when Idunn simply smiled at the insult and turned to Balder with a beautiful smile.

“I find myself thirsty, do you?”  

And Balder never underestimating a woman’s battle with another, grinned in either relief or pleasure.

“Of course” he said, giving Idunn his arm “lead the way”

Sif managed not to roll her eyes at the way Balder stared at the old broad.

“Tired?”

Sif turned to see Sigyn standing behind her. Immediately her mood lifted and she embraced her long time friend.

“I was afraid you weren’t going to make it” Sif said when they parted “Drinks?”

“No, thank you” Sigyn waved a hand at her “One of us has to be sober enough to get home after and I don’t think it will be Theoric”

She nodded ahead where her husband was already in a drinking battle with Thor.

Sif chuckled “Something to eat, then?”

Sigyn giggled and pointed to the corner where Thor was rapidly losing his balance “I think I shall watch a while”

Sif shook her head before hooking her arm with her friend “Come along then, we shall need better seats.

***

Fifteen years old, Loki was in his rooms in the castle, highest turret available. His window was barred and shut, no room for the cold Jotun air to get to him. The floor was flowing with rugs, the only chamber in the castle with such luxury and his bed almost hidden in blankets.

And it was within these blankets that he was currently hiding, reading his book with his green eyes wide with interest and barely concealed intelligence.

His black hair was splayed on the pillow and his skin flushed from the warm bath he had been allowed.

Under the blankets, he shifted his toes, comfortable as he could be while pretending he wasn’t a prisoner.

His brother, Byleistr, sat in an armchair big enough for a full grown Jotun with his feet on the table before him and a dagger in his hands.

He was using the sharp blade to dig the dirt out of his fingernails and his crimson eyes were focused on his task. His mind, as always, was on how he could get his throne back from his dam and brother.

Byleistr was complicated.

He held no real love for Loki, but tolerated him enough to protect like his father had said years ago, on his deathbed. And Byleistr couldn’t bring himself to break the oath he had made to a dying man, no matter how much he wanted to.

Because at the end of the day, Loki was a burden and that was all Byleistr thought he would remain until circumstances changed on the eve of Loki’s fourteenth year.

Byleistr knew the moment he saw that look on Farbauti’s face. It was twisted and wrong and plain evil and an honorable man would have taken Loki away and hidden him from such sights. But Byleistr wasn’t honorable; he was desperate.

Desperate to gain back the throne _his_ father had and desperate to find a way to keep it.

So the moment Farbauti showed interest in Loki, Byleistr came up with a horrible plan.

He started with small things, bringing Loki with him on a few occasions he was called to Farbauti, letting the boy cross Farbauti’s path every now and then, letting Loki and Farbauti in a room alone for a while.

Though he never truly let Farbauti _touch_ , always arriving at the last moment from where he watched, when he knew his dam’s patience was about to break, and take Loki away.

In the end, Farbauti couldn’t stand it any longer.

And Byleistr was prepared.

The moment his dam went into Loki’s room that night, Byleistr had started to scream bloody murder.

And Farbauti, even though he was ruthless, found the displeased reaction of his people off putting. They didn’t want their king consorting with the likes of Loki.

That fact had been the last stage of Byleistr’s trap. He used clever words and hidden orders about how

Farbauti had been overcome by his kingdom, to make Farbauti’s natural rebellion rise within him.

And though Farbauti wasn’t one to be easily manipulated, he succumbed to Byliestr’s suggestions.

Because at the end of it all, Loki was the only thing he had of Laufey’s that he was allowed to _touch_. He knew how twisted it was, but cared naught.

This seemed like a perfect way to extract his revenge on the boy and keep a connection to Laufey. To him, it made sense, others, it made sick.

But no one truly voiced their opinion because Farbauti was a fearsome thing to behold and his anger was a legendary destruction force.

If his people felt disgust at the near incestuous relationship when he announced his sudden desire to wed Loki, they said nothing.

And Byleistr found a way to the throne.

The door banged open the, startling them both.

Helbindi stood at the door, leering at Loki, who had levered himself on his elbows and gazed at his other brother with fear piling in his heart.

Byleistr stood slowly, managing to tower over his elder brother and glared at him.

“What are you doing here?” Byliestr demanded.

Helbindi smirked and ignored him, pointing to Loki instead.

“My father wants you”

Loki’s eyes widened in his never ending horror and a soft sound escaped his lips. He turned his gaze to Byleistr, who watched Helbindi.

“He’ll be there, go”

Helbindi gave them a gloating look before turning and leaving.

The moment Byleistr closed the door, Loki began to shake his head.

“Brother, please” he said “please don’t make me go to him, I beg of you”

Byleistr watched him somberly “Loki …”

“No” Loki dragged himself out of bed and came to Byleistr, holding his hand “tell him I am unwell, tell him I fell asleep, tell him anything but please don’t make me go, you know how he is”

Byleistr looked down at him “Loki …”

“Please …” Loki said, his eyes large “please don’t make me do this”

Byliestr’s mouth tightened as he looked at Loki, his final chance at getting the throne. 

With his marriage to Farbauti, Loki would gain the throne, become King. And since Loki did whatever Byleistr asked, he would rule the Kingdom himself, he would become a far better ruler than Laufey was and he would take Jotunhiem to the greatest heights, raise it from the hole Farbauti had jammed it into.

All Loki had to do was say ‘I do’ – and Byleistr would rule from a side lines; a true king. 

His crimson eyes turned to Loki’s and he saw the fear and horror here.

The boy had agreed to an engagement because Byleistr asked him to.  

It would be the first step in taking back what was his and Loki would help him get it.

Thought he was hesitant at first, Byleistr made him realize that it was a way for him to pay him back for all he had done for Loki. The burden he bore, the sacrifice he made.

Was he not worth a little sacrifice in return?

Only the sacrifice Loki would make would be far greater and Farbauti proved it when he asked for Loki for his ‘entertainment’.

He made the young man dance for him, waiting for him to miss a step or make a mistake. 

When Loki made a mistake, Farbauti would kiss him.

When he didn’t make a mistake, he would force him to sit in his lap and _touch_ him wherever he wanted.

Loki pleaded with Byleistr every time, because he knew one day, Farbauti was going to take him. And it scared him more than anything else. 

Loki was a shy, silent man, talking only to Byleistr, he knew nothing of such intimacies and had no real desire to learn about them. But he knew if Farbauti did what he feared, he would lose his mind and die.

“Brother?”

Byleistr looked at that shining gaze once more.

“Please” Loki begged.

***  

Thor hung onto his brother’s shoulders as Balder helped him back, swinging his hammer in the air and singing at the top of his voice.

His words were scrambled and he got most of them wrong, but it still made Balder laugh as he, perfectly sober, had Thor’s arm over his shoulder and half carried him back to his chambers.

“Go marching one by one …” Thor rumbled “come on, brother, sing with me!”

Balder chuckled and humored him a moment, humming along to his brother’s tone deaf moans. He shook his head when Thor dropped Mjolnir and tried to pick it up three times before he succeeded. And when he did, he gave Balder the toothiest grin he could.

“Proud of yourself?” Balder asked as he pushed open the door to Thor’s room.

“Very” Thor said, letting more weight fall on Balder; not too much, just enough to irritate him.

Muttering in Nordic, Balder moved him to the bed and pulled Thor’s arm off his shoulder.

“There. You can manage well enough from here”

Thor fell on the bed with a groan, unwilling to move “Balder …”

Balder, who was at the door, turned “Yes?”

“I can’t see my feet” Thor announced lifted his foot to show his brother “help”

Rolling his eyes, heavenwards, Balder came to sit at the edge of the bed and placed Thor’s foot in his lap, unlacing his shoe.

“You, Thor, will be the end of my sanity”

Thor groaned and rubbed his face “Lecture?”

Balder chuckled “Not if you can tell me what I will say in this lecture”

Thor took a deep breath 

“A future King warrants good behavior, Thor” he began in an imitation of Balder “getting drunk and singing strange Midgardian songs will get you no respect. Stay boring and sober like me and the Kingdom will love you”

Balder gave him a dry look and threw off his shoe before getting the other one

“Aside from the jibe” Balder said, pulling off the other “I found you made a good point”

“Go away, Balder”

Scoffing, Balder threw Thor’s foot down, making him yelp, before he stood to go.

“Tell me one thing, though”

“What?” Thor asked as he slid under the covers, awaiting the hangover he would get tomorrow

“Who won?”

Thor grinned “Fifty nine kegs, brother. Of course I won”

Balder chuckled “We shall see how happy you are about that in the morning.”

Thor moaned in despair.

***

Byleistr ducked his head, almost losing his balance as he ran in the snow, away from those that chased him. His large feet thundered on the ice and his breath came in ragged gasps with every moment.

He knew they were getting closer, he could hear the animals they rode.

Beside and behind him, Loki was much the same, running through the wind and snow because his life depended on it. his black hair flew as the wind passed through him and one hand remained fisted in the front of his tunic as he ran, faster than he had ever run.

Behind them, Helbindi rode on one of the royal snow beasts, a grappling hook raised in one hand, that he spun faster with each passing moment, ready to hurl the moment he got close.

Behind him, his men rode just as fast, eager to get their king his runaway betrothed back. Eager to see what Farbauti would do to Loki to moment he had him.

For entertainment was rare in Jotunhiem and a public defilement was going to be interesting to watch.

Helbindi yelled at his beast, tugged at the large horns on its head and yanked on its fur to make it run even faster. 

Byleistr looked behind him, at the small army that approached, then at Loki.

With his size, there was no real chance of him outrunning the army and for a moment, Byleistr considered leaving him behind.

For a punishment would await Byleistr as well.

Loki felt the ice burn his lungs and found it very difficult to breathe. He was getting slower and slower and those beasts behind him were almost on him.  

And then, when he didn’t think things could get any worse … 

Loki tripped over his own rapidly tiring feet.

Loki fell to the ground with a gasp, hitting the snow harder than he should have and getting up instantly, without looking behind him.

Too late.

The swishing sound came to him like a death omen and a moment later, Loki’s feet gave way when the grappling rope caught him.

“Byleistr!” Loki screamed, looking at his bound feet and trying to kick it off.

From behind, Helbindi and his men approached at full speed.

“Brother!” Loki yelled again, daring to look to where his brother was.

For a moment, he saw nothing and he feared his brother had finally abandoned him.

But then two, strong blue arms grabbed him, and hauled him over a muscled shoulder, carrying him like a sack.

Loki, who now had a vantage point of the small armada behind him, closed his eyes when he saw them getting closer and closer.

And then, when he thought all hope would be lost, Byleistr gave a strained grunt of exertion and jumped.

For a moment, Loki felt nothing but cool air against him, saw nothing but the army behind him.

Then he began to fall.

Helbindi’s shocked face got smaller and smaller, higher and higher as the mountain kept rising between them.

Then he and his brother hit the ice cold water.

And everything went black.

***

Up above, the skies were the brightest of blue and the clouds fairer than any had ever seen before.

Down below, the kingdom shone with all her glory as her people moved hither and yon, halfway through their days of selling and bargaining, of haggling and chatting.

Asgard was happy as it had been these past years and nothing seemed to be able to dim that joy.

Well, almost nothing…

A stout woman, selling fruits of all kinds on her cart was stationed next to a man that sold different types of jewelry. Both sold their items here for the past so many years and both rarely spoke. But they knew each other well enough.

So the sudden explosion that threw their carts aside, had many screaming as carts, fruits baskets and fruits were thrown into the air and on the walls, shocked them both to the core.

The two horsemen, far too involved in their race never turned back as they hollered at them. Their laughter could be heard, though, not mocking the peasants, but each other.

Thor yelled at his horse, flapping the reins against it to make it go faster. With a grunt, the horse obeyed, slamming its large feet into the pavement, galloping faster, the sun shining of its white fur.

Behind them, Balder laughed at his brother and dug his heels into his own horse, commanding it to run.

“Forget it, brother!” Thor yelled over his shoulder “You cannot _hope_ to beat me!”

Balder only laughed before making an abrupt turn in an alley to the left.

Thor frowned, looking at his left in hopes of catching sight of his brother. But all he saw were rapidly flying colors and all he heard was the screams and shouts of his people; they cheered for him and Thor could already see children ahead, running so as to have a moment of paralleled galloping with their prince.

Thor laughed and raised a hand, waving to them and to the others he saw about. They laughed and waved back excitedly. Waving flags made of rags and scarves and aprons at him, cheering him on. 

He was about to win, for the race ended when they reached the village square and Thor could see it already; Balder was nowhere in sight even as Thor _tried_.

When he passed through the buildings, when he was close enough, he found Balder.

Amid shouts and gasps of shock and awe, Balder emerged from above, making his steed leap over the roof of the building he currently galloped on. His cape billowed behind him, his brown hair shining in the sun as his fearless horse jumped gracefully into the air, flying, gliding, soaring before it landed perfectly in front of Thor, startling his horse into a stop, making it rear back, roaring a neigh of annoyance and making Thor yelp, tightening his fists on the reins to keep from falling.

When he gained his balance, Balder was already at the square, bowing as he was applauded.

Thor made a face at the show and nudged his horse forward.

Thor didn’t like losing.

Balder looked up, grinning and smirking at Thor as he came off his horse.

“Ah, the losing prince!” Balder chuckled “Thirty years of age and still unable to beat an old man like me!”

Thor gave a bark of laughter “Old man, I can still beat you”

And there would have started a wrestling match had the offended parties not made an appearance.

“Oh, damn” Balder said, looking over Thor’s shoulder.

Thor turned and saw an angry fruit seller and a jewelry maker arrive.

“Thor, let me speak, worry not” Balder said, moving ahead “Friends!”

“Do you have any idea how much damage you caused me, young king?” the woman screeched.

Thor’s eyes narrowed

But Balder raised a hand “Forgive me, my lady, I didn’t think beyond….”

“I am sure!” she said, hands at her hips “the race was more important to you than our wares! My cart is utterly destroyed, as is his”

She gestured to the man behind her. He hadn’t yet spoken and Balder noticed that the woman’s loud attitude was making others wary.

They were the Sons of Odin, after all.

“How are we to serve our professions when you seek to destroy them?” she asked, shrilly.

“Easily enough” Balder said, his smile in place “tell me the price of the damage I have wrought and I shall recompense”

It seemed that was what the woman had been waiting for. Her whole face transformed into greed and one could almost see her rubbing her palms together.

When she finally spoke, it was a sum much larger than it should have been and that was clear to one and all.

“Ah” Balder said, throwing a wink over his shoulder to his brother, who watched him carefully.

“Let us settle here and now, then”

“Balder…”

“Hush, Thor” Balder said, gesturing him close “this good woman asked for a recompense for herself and that good man other there”

The man in question looked guilty all of a sudden

“We shall provide” Balder said “come along”

It was now clear this was more interesting than anything else and people abandoned their affairs to come and watch what would unfold.

Because the Odinsons were just – both to the people and themselves.

Cheating wasn’t taken to kindly.

“Well then” Balder, following the woman as she led the way to her fallen cart, cast a critical eye over everything “that is quite a lot of damage, my lady”

“Aye” she said, crossing her arms “Now will ye pay or cheat?”

Thor’s temper began to rise but Balder rested a hand upon his shoulder.

“”I’ll pay” he said “the moment you show me the damage done my our horses”

There was a tense silence as everyone watched.

“Gladly!” the woman walked over and showed him the over turned cart and spread out fruit “see this? All done by you!”

“And damage to the cart?” Balder asked

She gave him a glare “Here! For all to see!”

Balder chuckled “Nay, my good lady, you misunderstand. The sum you gave me was for the utterly destroyed cart. Please show me the proof of destruction so that I can give you a proper compensation”

It was here that many would back down, for where Balder was a kind hearted ruler, he was also a fair man who saw no injustice to either himself or others. He argued when it was needed, with polite words and statements true, and never failed to win his argument.

He always won.

An excited hum went through the crowd, but the woman stood steadfast.

“You overturned it and spilled my fruit”

“Alas, you are right” Balder said, bowing low “we over turned your cart and rolled your precious wares on the ground, for that, I shall give you enough to have your cart righted and your fruits placed back where they belong”

The woman gaped “You cheat!”

Thor growled and stepped forward with a roar “Watch your tongue! We are royalty, lest you forget your place, woman!”

Thunder rumbled above them, a sign of his anger.

The woman lost her bravado instantly. Her gaze fell and she began to mutter apologies to Balder.

Balder nodded to her before looking at Thor with something akin to disappointment in his gaze.

Thor blinked at the almost angry expression Balder gave before he turned and walked off, leaving his brother behind to get his horse.

“Balder!” Thor called, jogging after him “Balder, wait!”

Making the crowd part for him, Balder jumped on his horse in one leap and grabbed his reins. Thor came over and stood beside, looking up at him.

“Brother, what’s the matter?”

Balder, his jovial face now impassive, looked down “We are royalty, Thor. Above petty acts as the one you just exhibited.”

Then with an angry yell, Balder once more galloped his horse, leaving Thor behind and the crowd looking after the First Prince of Asgard.

***

“Loki!”

He startled, almost throwing his book to the ground in his haste to obey. He crossed his small room to the door in three quick strides, pulled open his door and all but leapt out. His bare feet clapped against the floor as he crossed to his brother’s chambers.

He knocked, like he had been taught to, and peeked in.

Byleistr lay sprawled upon his bed his entire chamber strewn with his belongings and bits and pieces of food. There were glasses from which he drank, thrown carelessly about and mead stank up the only rug in the middle of his chambers.

Loki wanted to retch at the horrid smell in the room, but refrained and forced himself to walk in and close the door behind him before he rested his back against it if a quick escape was needed.

“You called, brother?”

Byleistr grunted and levered himself on his elbows and it was then that Loki noticed the other occupant on the bed.

The pale man gasped and flushed bright red, turning his head aside when he realized neither Byleistr nor the other wore any clothes.

His brother, the full blooded Frost Giant, looked down upon him

“Mead” he said “we have run out. Get me some”

Loki nodded, head still turned aside “Anything else?”

Byleistr shook his head but his partner grumbled 

“When you come back, why don’t you warm my bed? Your brother seems to have exhausted himself”

Loki bit his lip, shuddering in revulsion before he turned and fled the room, his legs shaking.

Byleistr hit the man beside him “You are a bastard”

The Jotun scoffed “And you are better? A fallen king, thrown out by your own dam”

Byleistr gave an angry roar and shoved the other out of his bed.

“Mind yourself, Thyrm!” he hollered “I am still the rightful King!”

Thyrm, not even offended at being shoved so unceremoniously out of bed, stood, chuckling.

“You are still deluding yourself then,” he said, standing to his full, impressive height and looking around for his loincloth “it would be very wise of you to remind yourself of your current place, Byleistr, and act with thought rather than without it”

“My current place!” Byleistr yelled, getting out of bed as Thyrm dressed and put on his own long cloth

“My current place is on the throne and you know it! Unjustly taken from me and given to …”

“Helbindi?” Thyrm asked pleasantly, going to examine an over turned platter of his food “What did you expect when Farbauti returned? You sided with that runt”

“I sided with our father, no one else!”

“Yes” Thyrm chuckled and turned to look at the former prince “and look what it got you all. You’re trapped here, at my mercy while your father rots ten feet under”

Loki was outside the room when he heard the holler of rage and the resounding bang that signaled another fight.

Immediately, as he did whenever a fight occurred between his brother and his lover, Loki ran to his room, the mead still on the tray he held in his hands, and worry over his face.

They never noticed who or what they harmed when they fought and Loki had learned his lesson the hard way.

He sprinted into his room, depositing the tray on a nearby table before running back to the door and bolting it shut. He placed his back against it and slid to the floor, covering his ears as he heard the screams and shouts of rage from outside his door. He shut his eyes, forcing himself to think, forcing himself to recite the verses his father taught him before he died, forcing himself to think of a time when he wasn’t trapped, repressed or treated thus.

It didn’t work.

And Loki began to shiver when he heard Byleistr’s cry of pain.

A small whimper escaped him and he began to pray.

***

A knock at his door signaled Thor’s arrival, and Balder, who had been scratching and writing on a scroll, didn’t pause.

“Enter” he called without looking up, and dipped his quill in more ink.

Thor entered meekly, his eyes scanning the room before he found Balder; they lowered in self rebuke.

“Close the door, Thor” Balder said “the guards talk so loud it borders on abhorrence. Then make yourself comfortable, I am almost done”

Thor nodded, though he knew Balder couldn’t see him, and walked in.

He was in a causal black tunic and trousers, something easy enough to sleep in, and he began to look around, going over the things Balder kept within his room. His blue eyes went from his weapons, swords, lances and daggers, to his instruments, a harp and lute he seemed to always have on his person, then the shelf of his books.

Thor cocked his head to the side to read the titles without having to touch the books and that was how

Balder found him when he turned. The elder brother chuckled before shaking his head.

“Go any further and you can give a pigeon a hefty competition in tilting heads”

Thor straightened and looked back. He didn’t laugh.

The god of Thunder sighed “Brother, I understood what you said … out there. And I realize how … arrogantly I have acted. I shouldn’t have done that, especially since I am who I am. I…” he raised his hands to his side and dropped them “I have no excuse”

Balder smirked and laughed softly “I don’t think I need that apology, Thor”

Thor’s eyes widened “You would have me apologize to that hag at the market?”

Balder laughed “Nay, she was a witch. I would have you refrain from such behavior altogether. You are a prince, Thor, and not just any prince, the Crowned one, next for the throne. Everyone from old to young will look up to you. You cannot be this arrogant – not with your own people”

Thor smirked a little “Meaning I can be with others?”

“With others you have to be” Balder said, crossing his arms over his chest “the realms need to see your harder side, your people deserve your softer one. Understand?”

“Yes, Sir”

“Good” Balder stood “Come along, it has grown past the time you are needed here. Let’s get you to the training tarps”

Thor frowned “Why?”

Balder looked at him as if he was slightly stupid “Why, Thor, you lost the race. The tarps won’t clean themselves, brother”

Thor stared at him “You will make me honor the wager?”

“Aye” Balder chuckled, passing his brother and squeezing his shoulder “especially today, since Volstagg was the one that practiced there the most.

Thor made a disgusted face that had Balder laughing all the way to the tarps.

***

It seemed like hours to Loki before it stopped.

Hours of crashing and screaming and breaking, Hours of agonized cries and feeling of the floor being moved from under his feet, hours of fighting outside, the roars and yells of anger and rage.

Twice, someone had slammed or been slammed against his door and Loki had rushed to the other side, fearful of being trampled underneath a Jotun’s wrath.

And a Jotun’s wrath he knew well.

He had learned it the moment Byleistr had surfaced from their escape from Helbindi and his army some four or five years ago.

He could recall it well, the gasping breaths he took when Byleistr pulled him through, breaking the surface of the water and all but throwing him on the ice and snow.

Loki had lay there, shivering and panting brokenly as the cold tore him apart. His teeth clattered and his limbs shook; his lips had turned blue.

But Byleistr hadn’t even looked down at him.

He was far too involved in his own misery, his own failure to gain the throne.

And he had been angry.

He had turned, abruptly, slamming his fist clean through a thick tree, splintering it.

Then he had turned to Loki.

Loki, who was freezing, had no chance. All he could do was cry in pain as Byleistr kicked and punched him and threw him around like a ragdoll, screaming at him, accusing him, blaming him for everything and calling him a failure.

Then, when Loki could move no more, and thought he was going to die, Byleistr had raised a hand for the final blow.

Loki had whimpered and curled up, a pathetic, bleeding pale being, awaiting the blow.

But it never came.

Instead, Byleistr leaned down and touched Loki’s hair.

Loki whimpered and cringed, trying to get away from this monster his brother had become.

“You made me do this” Byleistr said “you are responsible for this, this is all _your_ fault. Father’s legacy will not live because of _you_. You are selfish and stupid! How could you do this to your own brother?!”  

Loki had recoiled again, but Byleistr grabbed his arm brutally and yanked him up, uncaring of broken bones or bruises.

“I won’t forgive you” Byleistr had told him “not until you pay be back for _everything I have lost!_ ”

He threw Loki back again before taking a calming breath. He ran a hand over his head, his almost bald head, then looked down.

With a sigh, he lifted Loki into his arms again and carried him to a place where he might found some relative safety.

Loki was shaken out of his reverie by silence.

Because as the fight had stopped, as suddenly as it had begun, the whole horrible thing had stopped and

Loki waited with held breath.

Though he didn’t wish for death upon anyone, he dearly wished that had anyone of the two died, it would be Thyrm. The man was a monster and if it wasn’t for his brother, Loki would have long since fallen prey to that Jotun’s lust.

He had tried, once or twice, but Byleistr was always there to save him and though Loki could say much about his brother’s lack, he was at least protected.

The knock on his door startled him and Loki bit his lips to keep from making a sound.

“It’s me” Byleistr told him from the other side, he sounded exhausted “Open up”

Loki rushed to open the door and gasped at the sight of his brother’s bleeding torso.

Byliestr gave him a strange glance before realizing his dilemma. He waved a hand aside.

“Forget it, Little Brother” he said “we have bigger problems to deal with”

“What did you do?” Loki asked, dread rising within him.

Byleistr looked guilty, something he only showed to Loki “I…”

“Brother” Loki said, grabbing his brother’s large hand “What happened?”

“I’m sorry”

And Loki realized with horror dawning that his brother had begun to weep.

“Byleistr!” Loki moved forward and grabbed his arm with two pale hands “Answer me, what happened?!”

Byleistr suddenly fell to his knees and clutched Loki to his chest with a sharp cry of pleading.

He begged Loki for forgiveness, begged him not to leave and begged him not to tell.

And it was only when he was there, suspended high with only his green eyes showing  over Byleistr’s massive shoulder that Loki saw Thyrm’s mangled body lying behind them in the hall, his neck turned at an awkward angle, his crimson eyes staring at nothing.

***

It was Thor’s coronation day when everything took a turn for the worst and a few misled frost giants met death at the hands of Odin’s might.

It was Thor’s coronation day that caused him to fight against his father and run to Jotunhiem, half cocked with his friends by his side.

It was Thor’s coronation day when Balder realized what his brother had done and followed him into the ice and snow to drag him back from the danger.

It was Thor’s coronation day when Thor stood before the most ruthless Jotun and demanded answers.

It was Thor’s coronation day that Farbauti lifted his weapon to swing at the Aesir Crown prince.  

And it was Thor’s coronation day when Balder appeared at the last moment to shove his brother out of

Farbauti’s blow and take it upon himself, to have his form flung across the barren field and into the crevice that seemed endless.

***

When Odin discovered what had happened, he did what no one expected him to do.

He cast his younger out, throwing him into another planet as banishment; punishment for his crime.

Then he fell, right there, before Heimdall, forced into Odinsleep because of the rash actions of his own blood and the loss of a child.

***

The world spun around him in a haze of color and light and pain and agony.

When his back hit the harsh ground, Thor never felt it. When the dust gathered around him, Thor never saw it, when the lights came over him, Thor never even turned his head.

For the only thing that ran through his mind, the only coherent thing that he could focus on was not that he had felt Mjolnir leave him or that he had disappointed his father.

The only thing Thor could think, even when a beautiful woman focused her gaze upon him, was that he had killed his own brother.

***

In Loki’s opinion, Byleistr could have been a little more grateful.

Not only had he sent those Jotuns to their deaths, he had also caused the fall of one of the princes of Asgard. It was something no one had done in years, millennia, and Loki thought he deserved a little more praise.

His mischief had proven helpful and now the only thing left was to tell his brother of his newest plan.

It was called the Tesseract and it rested on Midgard. Loki was already practicing going so far with his teleportation and the moment he had it perfected, he would go and get the unlimited power. He would return home and he would use that power to gain enough allies to destroy Farbauti and anything else in their way. True, he didn’t really understand how the cube worked, but he would in time. And then he would use it to give his father the name he had lost.

Byleistr would truly thank him then and then he would have power enough to take back his home from the monster that forced them out.

Because even though he didn’t care for the throne himself, he cared about his father and he cared about Byleistr. If getting them what they wanted made them happy, there was nothing Loki wasn’t going to leave untried.

This ran through his mind, and ways to get what he had eyed, as he came back to their newest home. It was comfortable, much larger than most they had lived in and in a secluded part of the forest where no one really came anymore.

It was perfect for Loki, though Byleistr complained about it. Loki didn’t see a reason to his complaining, because his brother was rarely here. He had left it as a safe haven for Loki, choosing to reside somewhere else, possibly with a new lover he had chosen to eat out of home and hearth.

After the whole disaster with Thyrm, they had run from that part of the kingdom and hid with the few followers still loyal to Laufey. Eventually, when they realized they endangered them, Byleistr found them this place. Loki didn’t know what he did now, all day, but he suspected it was something to do with gaining an army for himself.

And though Loki didn’t like the idea, he kept his opinions to himself; his brother didn’t take kindly to criticism.

His double storied home within sights, Loki smiled a little.

It was an old home that no one ever claimed and it was perfect – again, for Loki.

Loki, who now walked in the snow with high boots to save his feet from frost bite.

Though he lived in Jotunhiem his entire life, Loki was still half blooded, which meant he felt colder than Byleistr and needed heat. It was the reason Byleistr always went and got him robes and clothes from a far and kept away from Loki when the boy needed too much heating in the house.

That explained why Loki had a thick bundle of wood in his arms that he carried back to his house. His black robe, once a very large tunic and now cleverly turned into sleeping robes by tying a thick tie around his tapered waist, fluttered slightly in the chilly wind and made Loki pick up his pace.

He reached the front door and kicked it open before running in and depositing the wood on the nearest table. He pulled off his shoes, ran barefoot to the door to bolt from the inside and shut the curtains to block out the light others might see when he lit a fire.

For his enemies were still around and his brother wanted no risks taken.

Loki exhaled and snapped his fingers to light a fire behind him in the hearth. The room was instantly bathed in warm light and Loki grinned.

He might just be learning magic, but he was a fast learner and his potential seemed to be on his side.

So Loki turned back and lifted a few pieces of wood to place in the fire.

And it was then that he noticed the footprints.

The hair on the back of Loki’s neck rose when he saw watery prints leading from his front door, deep into the house.

His hand, frozen in the air as he held a slab of wood, shook a little before he dropped it and went to grab the metal poker, heating it with a muttered spell and turning it into a blazing weapon any Jotun would fear.

His bare feet made no noise on the wooden floor, as he slowly followed the steps into the darkened hallway, raising a hand to light the nearest wall sconce.

He paused, his brow furrowing, when he saw the footsteps end barely a yard away from him.

His green eyes widened when he realized what it meant.

But it was too late.

Loki gave a startled cry when a heavily muscled figure slammed into him from the side, sending his poker clattering into the distance.

He gasped when his back was slammed into the wall and a large hand came over his mouth, halting his cries for good. Another thick arm went around his waist as a tall, broad shouldered figure pressed him into the wall.

“Is anyone going to come for you?”

The figure wasn’t Jotun, but it spoke their language and Loki found himself shivering. The man’s skin was warm and his build one of a warrior and _that_ worried Loki more than anything.

He had no training and if this intruder wished to harm him …

“Answer me!”

Loki was slammed into the wall again, broken out of his reverie and letting loose a whimper.

Shuddering, Loki shook his head.

“Do you live here alone?” he was asked

Again, Loki shook his head and a single tear fell from his eyes.

The man seemed to freeze as Loki’s tear skated over the back of his hand, then turned his icy blue eyes to Loki’s.

“I’m hurt” he said “help me heal and I will leave”

Loki took a shuddering breath and nodded once.

He gasped and leapt aside when he was let loose, keeping his face towards the intruder.

“Who are you?” Loki demanded, keeping the front of his robe firmly closed.

The figure stepped closer, prompting Loki to retreat until they were in the light.

When Loki saw his face, he couldn’t contain the cry of surprise that erupted from his throat.

Balder was bleeding from head to toe, it seemed, and his leg was at a painfully awkward angle. His clothes were torn and he looked nothing like the royal he was.

“Balder” he said “First Prince of Asgard. And I find myself needing your help, young man”

***

Three days.

For three days Thor stewed on Midgard. For three days he lived with the guilt of what he had done and for three days he let fair Lady Jane heal him. He went not in search of Mjolnir, he didn’t look for a way to redeem himself; he deserved this.

His hosts, one beautiful Jane, the oddly attractive Darcy and the wise Eric, had kept him and helped him as though he was not a stranger but a family member long lost.

They stood by him when a few strangely dressed men arrived to take him away and sat by him when negotiations were made between him and the ones called SHIELD. They helped him understand their ways and he helped them understand his magic.

And slowly, as the hours passed, Thor began to realize that not only was he grateful to her, he had begun to fall for her, too.

Because Jane was beautiful and he couldn’t resist her.

A beginning of something had just been ignited between them when Odin woke.

His friends came with the news that his father wanted him back. Thor had shook his head, telling them he was not worthy of going back to the realm eternal.

Which was what he was doing at the moment. He stared at the disbelieving faces of his friends, their shock and awe, then turned to Jane. Her beautiful brown eyes held disbelief of another kind.

“So, Th- Thor?” she managed “You’re really _the_ Thor?”

Thor nodded to her once “Aye, as I have been telling you all this time”

Darcy’s camera clicked, making everyone look at her.

“Sorry” she muttered before flicking through her pictures.

Jane shook her head before turning back to him “So why are you here?”

Sif, the beautiful shield maiden within his group, shook her head “Thor…”

“Sif, please” Thor raised his tormented gaze to her “my brother is dead because of me. I _cannot_ be welcomed back”

Jane placed a hand over her heart, her eyes filling with sadness.

“Thor” Sif said, looking at her friend “that is what we came here for. Had you let us speak before pouncing upon us with declarations of not going back, we would have told you that you are wrong”

Thor froze, staring at her “What?”

“Hiemdall sent us here” Fandral, dashing and handsome, spoke “Balder still lives”

***

“Alright, my friend” Balder said, preparing himself “one vicious twist to the side will set it”

Loki nodded and swallowed.

He still shivered and remained highly suspicious of his new unwanted guest; the man was Aesir and surely, Loki should have killed him. But that would have required him having enough training to actually match against one of the strongest men in all nine realms. And since he didn’t have that and didn’t cherish the idea of being broken in half by this being, Loki did as he was asked before he intended on throwing him out into the ice and begging Byleistr to find another place for him to stay.

Hiding from Jotuns was bad enough; Loki didn’t want Aesir looking for him.

For they were barbarians, Byleistr had told him stories of how they killed and maimed the Frost Giants and wished them dead.

Loki gripped Balder’s foot tightly and looked up, waiting for his approval.

Balder inhaled deeply and nodded.

Loki twisted his broken leg to the side, setting his knee with a harsh pop.

Balder screamed.

Loki fell back, putting distance between himself and this intruder – Balder – before the man decided to hurt him for causing him pain.

But Balder did no such thing.

He simply took gasping to keep himself calm, to soothe the pain. Then grit his teeth as he yelled out his agony behind them.

Loki watched him, eyes wide and apprehensive, secretly eyeing the poker he could still reach for.

Then Balder slumped back in the black couch he had been sitting on, breathing deeply.

Silence fell for a time as Balder, still messy with his dried and drying blood, took deep breaths to soothe himself.

“I said I will not hut you” he spoke, startling Loki “but if I truly wanted to, that poker would not help you much.”

Loki gulped but kept his back straight “You are well enough. Now leave”

Balder gave him a dry glare “You are a little soft headed, aren’t you?” 

Loki stared at him “I beg your pardon?”

“I can’t walk without assistance, so either place my knee in a cast to get me out or I am going to make myself comfortable in your lovely…”

“Loki!”

All color left Loki’s face the moment he heard his brother’s voice.

Balder blinked when Loki shot off the ground and all but leapt at him.

“Hide!” Loki rasped, grabbing his arm and pulling him to his feet “you can’t let him see you. He’ll kill me!”

Balder wisely kept his mouth shut, for he would scream in pain because the moment Loki hauled him up, all his injuries and wounds soared to life, and limped forward, all but falling on Loki as the boy half carried him.

“Loki, open the door!” someone banged their fist violently against the door.

Loki gasped in exertion, pulling Balder along and cursing all the fates he knew the names of. He almost threw Balder into the nearest room.

The banging continued and the visitor was getting angry.

“Stay here” Loki rasped as Balder hit the ground with a pained groan “and don’t make a sound”

“I will break down this door, Loki!” Byleistr called from outside.

“Coming!” Loki called back, shutting the door that hid Balder before looking around for incriminating evidence.

There were a few bandages and Loki hastily tossed them into the fire he had built before running to open the door.

Byleistr glared down at him, mouth twisted in disgust.

“Did you die on your way here?” he snapped.

“Sorry” Loki said “I was upstairs”

His brother scoffed as he came in and grimaced at the heat in the room “Studying your pathetic magic, were you?”

“It’s not pathetic” Loki said automatically

Byleistr gave him a dismissing glance “It’s pathetic, because _you_ practice it. Anyone else at your age would have mastered this woman’s craft by now. You seem content on lighting fires and creating sparks. I wonder what Father ever saw in you”

Not for the first time in his life, Loki wondered if Byleistr was deliberately cruel to him or if he said such things because he lacked the finesse of conversation. He _knew_ how badly Loki wished to practice and it was he himself that forbade him to do so and gave him only the smallest of knowledge available on magic. 

Either way, the words stung, and he lowered his gaze to the floor.

“I should have you wed off to the highest bidder” Byleistr said as he crashed into the largest couch; one he had brought for himself and was both large enough for him and a suitable distance from the flames “perhaps they would have use of the woman’s craft you have”

Loki didn’t reply, though the words _hurt_.   

“Do you have something to eat around here?” Byleistr asked.

Nodding, Loki padded to the kitchen, rubbing his arms protectively and soothing the ache his brother’s words caused. He opened a cupboard and took out the meats he had dried. Lifting a platter, he placed a few pieces on it before returning to his brother.

Their difference in size was a crucial reason Byleistr didn’t live with Loki. Everything was _too small_ and it irritated him to no end.

Even now, he complained to Loki about the lack of foods and consideration for the one man who had done so much for Loki and asked for almost nothing in return for himself.

Byleistr thought it was _both_ their dream to gain the throne. He didn’t know Loki only wanted it for him so he would be able to live a solitary life of peace. 

“The Aesir will probably _not_ go to war” his brother said a moment later “they still wish to retain the peace between our realms and our stupid _King_ is too much of a coward to initiate it between them”

Once more, Loki didn’t reply.

He was praying that his brother didn’t say something that would perk up the ears of the man in the other room.

“If something were to tip the balance …”

Balder groaned loud enough to be heard then.

Byleistr sat up “What was that?”

Loki, who looked like he was going to pass out, suddenly groaned and held his stomach, getting his brother’s attention.

“Loki?” Byleistr asked, frowning 

“I don’t think …” Loki rasped, feigning discomfort “I think I ate something and …”

“You were fine a moment ago”

Loki gagged as if he was going to retch and Byleistr had the expected reaction of flinching.

His brother wasn’t a caregiver.

“Are you going to…?”

Loki yelled and ran to the kitchen, faking retching noises and coughs. Halfway through his drama, he heard Byleistr call to him.

“I shall check on you tomorrow, Loki” he said from the door “I raised the fire for you so I cannot stay”

The door banging shut almost made Loki laugh and he rushed back to peek out of the window.

Byleistr was running faster than Loki had thought possible.

Chuckling, Loki stepped back once more. His mood fell a little when he gazed upon the hallway where Balder currently lay.

To go would mean he would have to help him heal – very painfully.

To stay would probably mean death.

Balder’s death would tip the balance, as Byleistr had said and wage a war against Farbauti for sure. Loki wouldn’t need to go after the Tesseract at all.

And Byliestr would get what he wanted.

Loki bit his lip and stood there for a long time before coming to a decision.   

***

“Where is he?” Thor asked, haggard and looking broken. Behind him, his friends and the fairest Jane stood, watching Heimdall.

Jane looked about in awe, disbelief at being brought to a place so beautiful and _unreal_. This wasn’t supposed to exist!

She had heard about all this in fairy tale books and tales of old. Being here was something like a dream.

She had met the Queen, met the shining people of this realm and met her wildest fantasies. This was amazing. 

And she would have enjoyed it fully had it not been for one horrifying fact.

The moment Thor announced he intended on going after his brother, Jane had insisted she come along.

She might not be a warrior, but she would not stand by while the man she loved – yes, _loved_ \- walked on into danger unknown.

There had been no dissuading her from then and Thor had taken her with him to the castle, running to his mother and begging forgiveness right before her eyes, making her fall even further in love with him.

Now, she stood with Frigga, looking for answers that Heimdall would give them.

“How is he?”

Heimdall turned his gaze to Jotunhiem.

“He is with a Jotun” he told them “and he screams in agony”

Frigga gave a wracking sob, placing her hand over her mouth. Immediately, Jane came to her side, placing an arm around her shoulders.

Thor stood, paper white, his hands shaking with fury “Mother”

Frigga turned her tormented gaze to her son, tears falling from her beautiful eyes.

“There is only one way to get him back” Thor said “they won’t give him willingly”

“Then take your friends with you” Frigga said “and let Lady Jane return to safety. I do not want harm coming to her in the event that something dire happens”

Thor nodded and turned back, away from where Balder was, though it physically hurt him.

“Sif” he called, walking over

Immediately, she was at his side, awaiting orders.

“Take Jane home” she said “make sure she is safe before retuning. Then gather a handful of your most trusted and meet me here at sun set”

“Yes, your Highness” Sif stepped back and went to Jane.

She stopped when Thor came over and took Jane aside, politely letting them have their good bye.

Thor smiled and lifted Jane’s hands to his lips “I dearly wish I could have shown you everything like I had promised but I fear …”

Jane silenced him by placing a finger on his lips “Forget it. Just – return to me when everything settles down.”

Thor kissed her finger before giving her a small smile “I promise”

And _oh_ if only Thor knew then what he would later.

He would never have let Jane go.


	3. Caught

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki gets caught

It was _fascinating_ how easily Jotunhiem fell once Farbauti abandoned the throne and left.

With his child missing, his armies falling and those still loyal to Laufey acting as allies to the Aesir army, there was nothing he could do but run.

He had promised vengeance, of course, hurled it at both Thor and Odin as they watched his retreat.

Then he had screamed in his own tongue, words only Odin and Balder understood but decided against telling Thor.

Tonight, they watched as the bodies of the dead and the dying went hither and yon and loot was taken from the castle by his men.

Those that stayed were loyal to Laufey and they thundered over to those that chose Farbauti. There had been no official command, but word had reached Odin’s ears that Laufey’s lost son, Byleistr, had ordered their temporary unsanctioned alliance to the Aesir.

But they were only rumors and Odin had little use for those. For all they knew, Byleistr could be dead and assumptions evolved into something that in turn, became a tale

The three men stood, looking down at the destruction they had caused; the vengeance they had wreaked.

And the two elder, turned their gaze upon the youngest who stood with his straight back and impassive eyes.

The very eyes that had been lit up with joy and happiness when he spent time with his beloved – now held nothing but pain and coldness.

Because Jane was no longer here.

A risk came with falling in love with a mortal and it had proved great for Thor.

His whole demeanor had changed from that fateful day, when their family breakfast had been interrupted by a distressed Sif, her hair falling over her eyes.

Eyes, Thor realized as he stood in his dread, that shone with tears.

They locked on him, ignoring all others as he opened her mouth to speak.

She said only his name, and he felt his knees go weak.

Jane had been killed last night; an attack by the Jotuns.

After that, everything had been a haze of pain and color and sorrow and screaming.

Thor remembered screaming in his grief, his torment. He had fallen to his knees and sobbed and cried and screamed at the injustice.

Then someone was holding him, but he hardly noticed because in that moment of such _pain_ and heartbreak, Odin cast a spell over him and Thor had gone limp, sleeping under the soothing spell. 

And Balder, returned to them for over a year and twice as wise, had to carry Thor to his chambers, ice blue eyes shining with unshed tears.

When Thor had woken three days later; there was no question about it.

And when Odin told the _reason_ Jane had died, it was a certainty.

Because trying to steal the Tesseract went against the weak treaty and though Farbauti had kept an unspoken accord with Odin about keeping that feeble peace, this went against it.

The fact that they never managed to get it was unimportant. Odin wasn’t a weak king. His word was law, and the moment the Jotuns tried what they did, they had declared war against Asgard.

That, coupled with Balder’s kidnapping, something he refused to talk about, the destruction of Thor’s coronation and the petty attacks Farbauti threw about in other realms, had been the last straw.

They needed to be punished and Odin found himself with a bloodlust unparalleled for he had loved Jane like a daughter and approved the match. And the desire for vengeance roared within his veins as well.

The order for the preparation of battle had come as no surprise.

Asgard had met Lady Jane and they had known that it was only a matter of time till someone upset the balance. So armor had been made, swords sharpened and warriors prepared.

And a week later, Asgard had gone to war with Jotunhiem.

Though Farbauti had met them halfway and cherished the fight, he didn’t have the proper will against the war. And his prejudice had led Asgard to victory.

They had won ruthlessly and now, as Thor watched the crumbling city fall, his eyes shone with a darkness that hadn’t been there previously. He stepped off the hill he had been standing on and went to where the Jotuns were being lined up at his orders.

All of them were Farbauti’s men and all of them watched him with wary eyes as he approached. Mjolnir hummed by his side and he lifted her almost carelessly, going to the first Jotun.

Up above, Balder looked away “I cannot watch this”

Odin watched him go before turning back to Thor. His second had embraced a darkness Odin didn’t think he would touch.

And he too sighed before going to follow Balder and head back to where they had set up camp.

Down below, Thor touched Mjolnir to the jaw of the closest Jotun and asked him the one question he had been dying to ask, the one thing he had asked Odin to grant him.

Somewhere, his men watched him but Thor didn’t care.

He was not going to be weak.

“Fandral” Thor called his friend over before looking at the Jotun “ask him who did it”

Fandral, fluent in Jotun tongue, nodded and turned to the Jotun

“Who is responsible for Lady Jane’s death?”

The Jotun sneered at him “I don’t know, for if I did, I would send the guilty party my hearty congratulations”

Fandral’s fist tightened and that was all Thor needed.

The other Jotuns jumped and yelled in shock from where they had been forced on their knees, when Mjolnir crushed the skull of the offending Jotun.

The Aesir watched, chills going up their spines, as Thor straightened and brushed his hair back. There was blood on his face and he wiped it before he turned to the next frost giant.

“You” he pointed to him “talk”

At one point in the interrogation, the Jotuns tried escaping Thor but it was no use and skull after skull was crushed under Mjolnir and her master’s rage.

***

At the end of Thor’s rage, the Aesir army was told to heel.

They had won the war, and now was the time for spoils. And like all good warriors, they went to the castle to see what they would get.

But there was one warrior that proved himself smarter than all else and went in search of a treasure far greater than any they would find in the castle.

Tyr, the one handed general to Odin’s army, had heard talks among those that had helped them, of a place deep within the forest, untouched by this war. They were only stories, but according to them, it held Byleistr.

The heir to Laufey’s throne would be a fine thing to conquer and Tyr would have pleasure in slitting his throat and leave Jotunhiem without a spine to keep it straight.

And then, when his act came apparent, _he_ would be the one that held the glory, not a mourning lover.

Where Thor had acted in his rage, Tyr would act in genius. 

He would sever all royalty and leave Jotunhiem without a king to rule her and throw her in civil war, utterly crippling her. Then Asgard would reign over her and the threat of the Jotuns would finally end.

It was rather brilliant, Tyr could almost pat himself on the back but right now, he needed to go and find the elusive prince and slay him where he stood.

Pulling the fur over himself, Tyr trudged into the snow and went deeper and deeper into the forest, heading east, where the forest was densest and no one would dare to step lest he be suicidal.

Or a warrior as great as Tyr.

It was not hubris, Tyr argued, it was the truth. He knew he was a good warrior and soon all of Asgard would know. That was all he really wanted.

He walked further, not letting his body tell him he was tired, and later, much later than he would have thought it would take him, Tyr came upon and opening in the thick forest.

It was a clearing, almost the size of Queen Frigga’s gardens with a large house set within.

Tyr had heard of rumors that once Jotunhiem held a place in its heart for cast outs; people from realms that didn’t want them and that they had made themselves homes in the ice cold winter. But since the cold was too much, they sought places within Jotunhiem, like this dense forest, where the least possible snow fell and resided there. 

From the appearance, the house looked almost Aesir, probably someone like a noble had been able to afford something this lavish in Asgard, Tyr thought.

As he neared it, he kept himself in shadow, kept his hands on his dagger and kept his eye out for danger.

Because whether they had helped his army or not, the Jotuns were not to be trusted and he wouldn’t put it past them to lay a trap here for him or to have led him somewhere they knew held danger.

He surveyed the area, his dark brown eyes scanning the dark for anything incriminating. He felt the snow with his toe and when his warrior’s sensed told him that there was no one around, he moved forward, getting closer to the worn down house.

He touched the wall, feeling it for weak spots but found it to be made of concrete.

It would suit Byleistr and it was large enough.

So, his mind made up, Tyr took a few steps back before circling the place to seek a place of entry.

The windows seemed barred shut, the doors were probably locked, so Tyr would have to be agile. He looked up and squint his eyes till he was able to focus on the smallest slit in the window on the upper floor. 

No one would have noticed it but since he was the finest of warriors, he saw it and immediately began searching for a means to reach it.

He would surprise Byleistr if the man was inside, and set a trap if he wasn’t.

He found a break in the concrete and tested it before he placed his foot on it, then he pulled himself up, grabbed the edge of the closest window, placed his foot on it and levered himself up.

It was quite a feat, especially for a man with one hand, but he managed it and soon, he had pried open the window and slipped in without a sound.

***

It was dark and Tyr found it far too silent.

He had surveyed the upper portion of the house and found nothing but books and scrolls and useless trinkets. He found a few gold coins and pocketed them and moved on ahead. 

Someone was living here, clearly, and the ceilings _were_ large enough to house a full grown Frost Giant, but Tyr wasn’t one to raise hope. He needed proof, needed Byleistr before his eyes for him to believe he had become lucky.

He crossed the end of the hall and came upon a spiraling staircase that would lead him down.

Carefully, keeping himself hidden in shadow, Tyr peeked over the rail to see if his wayward prince was down there. When he saw nothing but a recently walked upon floor, he pasted himself on the wall and stepped closer. 

His dagger in hand, his eyes searching, Tyr went down the stairs, making not a whisper of noise. The entrance was small, compared to the house and he could see a light on in the living room.

Even with his habit of not raising his hopes, Tyr found his heart beating as he thought of how unsuspecting Byleistr could be. He would be slain in his very home, his blood spraying the walls when Tyr cut off his head to show Odin what he was capable of.

There was the smallest sound of movement from the living area and Tyr stepped closer, closer, till he could peek over the doorjamb and look in.

He almost dropped his dagger in disappointment.

Because Byleistr wasn’t there.

Taking a deep breath and schooling his features to indifference, Tyr looked upon the lone occupant of the room, sleeping on the couch before a fire, a tone placed upside down on his chest.

His skin was as pale as the snow outside and his hair as black as the couch he lay upon. For all intents and purposes, he looked like he was in a slightly unkempt home in Asgard rather than in the middle of Jotunhiem, at the end of a three week war.

Scoffing, Tyr looked around the house and when he found it empty, he pocketed the dagger and went to see the sleeping man again.

He entered the living room once more, no finesse this time, and began to look around as if searching for signs of Byleistr. Perhaps this man was his companion – Tyr had heard of Byleistr’s obscure taste in lovers. Either way, he could be useful.

As Tyr neared him, he really began to notice the boy, probably no older than twenty. He was, Tyr realized with a stirring long dormant, actually stunning in his beauty.

His skin, white and delicate, held no marks. His hair was soft, he could tell just by looking at it and his lashes thick enough to belong to a woman. High cheek bones, long neck and, as Tyr’s gaze wandered over his strangely robed clothes, long, long legs that were exposed as his odd clothing slipped off at the knee.

Tyr didn’t remember coming close to him, but the next moment, he was leaning over the sleeping man, placing a hand on the back of his couch, and his hook beside his head as he slept with his arms thrown over his head.

Yes, delicious, indeed, Tyr said and eyed two thick bands on the man’s slender wrists, runes carved upon them.

A mage, then.

He looked down at the face and lifted the hand from beside his head to stroke his cheek.

His brow furrowed first, as he registered the touch then his eyes flickered.

Slowly, the man opened his eyes, lost in dream and reality for a moment before his gaze focused on Tyr.

His green eyes went wide and fear writ itself on his features as he gasped, trying to sit up.

But Tyr placed a hand over his mouth and pushed him flat on his back, easily catching the struggling form within his arms.

The man struggled, screaming behind Tyr’s hand as he cried to escape, pushing at Tyr in desperation as he kicked and thrashed against the stranger in his house.

But Tyr had brute strength and he had his hands pinned by his sides before he moved up to straddle him.

“Enough!” Tyr yelled to his face “Stop struggling!”

If anything, the man only got more desperate, shouting as he kicked and pushed and shoved.

He froze, a moment later, when he felt the tip of a dagger under his jaw.

Tyr smiled at him “Down, boy, calm down”

Shivering and taking broken breaths. The man forced himself to calm, looking at the warrior sitting astride him.

His beautiful green eyes began to shine and Tyr couldn’t hold himself back.

He lowered his head and took that mouth beneath his own.

***

Loki screamed, his struggling starting anew when the monster kissed him.

“No!” he yelled, pushing and shoving at him

He bucked, turning his head aside and crying out when the barbarian began to lick down his neck.

“You are going to have to fight harder, boy” Tyr said, grabbing his flailing wrists in his hand before he pinned them over his head “because I will take you if you don’t”

Loki gasped “No!”

He kicked harder, crying out loud when he felt a hook touch the hem of his sleep attire.  
The door suddenly broke open and Loki screamed for help, thinking it was his brother.

“Byleistr!” Loki hollered, thrashing anew.

But Tyr wasn’t doing anything and his eyes shone a moment before he looked back to see who had interrupted him.

It was Fandral.

And the moment he saw what was happening, his handsome face went angry.

“Get off him, Tyr” he snapped “this is not what we came here for”

“What are you doing here?” Tyr snapped back, not releasing the boy.

“I followed you” Fandral said “I thought you were doing something stupid and clearly, I was right. Now get off him…”

“You don’t have the authority…”

“Before I tell Thor”

The room seemed to drop further in temperature and Loki watched the two.

He understood their language, the All Speak was something in his blood as a royal, but he wasn’t about to tell them that.

“You would choose this runt over a …”

“Yes” Fandral said “now get off him”

Tyr gave a snarl and turned back to Loki.

Loki whimpered and flinched, trying to pull his arms from the man’s grip.

Fandral moved forward when Tyr suddenly backhanded the man across the face and knocked him unconscious. 

“What the hell…?”

Tyr scoffed and got off the limp figure as Fandral dealt with him. He stepped back and left when he was asked but not before keeping his gaze fixed on the boy Fandral was now carrying in his arms.

He knew where Byleistr was and Tyr would make him talk.

***

When Loki opened his eyes, he was on something soft and unfamiliar.

Immediately he shot up, wincing when his cheek began to hurt from where the brute had hit him. He looked around, at the tent he’d been brought into. 

Tent – he was in the Aesir camp.

He bit his knuckles to stop himself from screaming in fear when he looked at the guards posted at the mouth of the tent.

Byleistr was going to _kill_ him, Loki knew.

If the Aesir didn’t get him, Byleistr certainly would. Because his brother had told him to move from the home he had and run, because the Aesir were barbarians. But Loki hadn’t listened, hadn’t wanted to move because he thought himself safe enough.

He had argued that the Aesir would wage far upon Farbauti not him.

Byleistr had damned near hit him for his stupidity and stubbornness and left in a roaring mood.

And now, the one thing he had feared had happened all because of Loki.

Byleistr didn’t hold back on his accusations. All of this was Loki’s fault. It was his _stupid_ plan that failed to get him the Tesseract and it was his stupid plan that had caused Asgard to destroy Jotunhiem.

He didn’t even listen to Loki’s argument that it had, at least, removed Farbauti from the throne and left it empty for Byleistr to take. He had stormed out of the house and that was the last Loki had seen of him as the war began.

Now, he didn’t even know if his brother was alright or not.

Loki closed his eyes and took a deep breath, looking for escape routes. He could easily lift the edge of the tent and make a run for it, but he doubted he would get far.

His gaze fell on his hands and the bands that blocked his power.

They were a punishment from Byleistr. Loki had used his magic and done something so extraordinarily stupid that Byleistr had no choice.

For his brother was going to get out of control with his magic and Byleistr didn’t want that. He wanted

Loki within his control and if this was the only way; so be it.

Loki tried to pry them off, like he had tried so many times, but failed yet again. He slumped forward, temporarily defeated and looked around again.

He was alone in the entire tent and it dawned on him that this was where the spoils of war were kept.

He bit his lip and rubbed his arms as the cold began to seep in faster.

He still wore that ridiculous, over large tunic that he wore to sleep and had no shoes on. His legs were bare and he felt so _vulnerable_ it made him shiver.

Loki wasn’t a warrior or a fighter.

Byleistr hadn’t let that happen he had left Loki to his books and his imagination, letting him become a quiet intelligent being that spoke only when spoken to. He was meek and gentle where Byleistr was loud and brash. Loki was soft spoken, and polite to the strangest of faces and didn’t really harm anyone or anything. 

This incident, the one that got him into this mess had been an accident. All he wanted was to steal and return. He hadn’t meant to harm her.

He jerked violently when the flap to his tent was shoved aside and the monster from before stood in front of him.

Loki scrambled back when he approached, raising a hand to ward him off.

But Tyr only grabbed his wrist and lifted him up to his feet, uncaring if he hurt him or not.

“Come on” he muttered before looking behind him at the guards “all of this, to the center, now”

“Aye, sir”

Loki saw them collect what they had before he was dragged off.

He stumbled behind Tyr, his large eyes watching the atmosphere.

Tents, smaller than the one he had been kept in, dotted the land. Fires hand lost since melted any ice around but a chill in the air still remained. Fires cooked and warmed and Aesir warriors sang and clanked their cups together.

The smell of food was in the air as Tyr dragged Loki further and further past the celebrations.

They came upon another tent and Tyr shoved him in.

Loki stumbled and lost his footing, falling on the harsh ground before bracing himself on his hands and immediately turned to keep his attacker within sights.

He missed the other presence in the room.

“Enough, Tyr, you may leave”

Loki gasped and spun back around, his eyes going wide when he saw Odin All Father standing before him.

He had never seen him before, but there was no doubt of who he was in Loki’s mind. The power he resonated, the helm upon his head and his powerful staff in his grip.

The flapping of the tent’s door didn’t register to him as Loki stared, transfixed, at the shining king before him.

“So” Odin said, taking a step closer.

He paused when Loki scampered back, his gaze frightened, and frowned.

“You are the Jotun mage, then?”

Loki didn’t reply, he just stared. When Odin’s lips tightened, Loki froze, sensing an attack.

Loki gave him a small nod.

“You are too small to be a Jotun”

Loki swallowed before whispering a response in his native language “I’m a half breed, your Majesty”

Odin hummed but said nothing. He raised a hand and Loki cried out when he was lifted off the floor and brought to the most powerful being in the nine realms.

He kept himself from pleading but couldn’t help and recoil when Odin grasped his wrists and looked upon the runes carved on his bands.

“Your powers are trapped”

It wasn’t a question, so Loki didn’t answer.

Odin released him and Loki’s legs gave way.

“You seem to have …”

The tent flapped again and someone else walked in.

“Father, I wish to converse with you over …”

Thor broke off when he saw a slender man sat with his legs curled under him by his father’s feet. He furrowed his brow and looked to Odin.

“Who is he?”

“No one of consequence” Odin said “Tyr said he had caught a mage and I wished to see if that was true. But his powers are bound and he is of no use”

Loki kept his gaze lowered to the ground and refused to shiver.

He knew who this man was and somewhere, a distant memory surfaced. He ruthlessly pushed it down.

He didn’t need more pain at the moment.

Thor looked away from the man “I wished to converse with you over the amount of spoils being given.”

“You wish to take something for yourself?”

“Perhaps a sword or a …” Thor broke off, his gaze falling to the man again.

He was _breathtaking_ and Thor had to force himself to look away from the line of his spine.

“Or a lance” he went on, oblivious to the fact that Odin was watching him “Just keep in mind. And why are you here?”

Odin smirked “Is it a crime to be in Volstagg’s tent?”

“Nay, the crime would be looking as lecherous as you do” Thor said in good humor “I worry for Volstagg”

“It was the closest tent” Odin said by way of answering Thor’s question

“Ah,” Thor chuckled “Lecherous _and_ lazy. What fine qualities you have”

Odin smiled at the age old banter they shared “Better than yours, my arrogant boy. Tell me, have you chosen upon what you want?”

Thor shook his head “Nay, I …”

Unwillingly, Thor’s eyes went to the mage again and Odin knew his question before he asked it.

“Is he taken?”

Loki froze in dread when he heard, his heart beginning to race faster with each passing second, the cold washing over him.

_No, please, no …_

“Nay” Odin said “Tyr brought him here but as far as I know, he has no designs on the boy. Do you want him?”

Loki closed his eyes tightly and bit the back of a finger as he prayed.

_Please, no, please…_

Thor nodded “Have him brought to my tent.”

And Loki had to place a hand over his mouth to stop himself from screaming.

***

Thor’s tent was – unsurprisingly – lavish.

Furs were placed on the ground, a large divan placed on the side. A cabinet rested in one corner, as well as chests and a large tub filled with steaming water.

There were curtains on all sides so that it didn’t appear like a tent and candles placed upon every solid, flat surface, to keep the room warmed and well lit.

And it was in the middle of this that Loki now stood, hugging his shivering form as he waited.

He closed his eyes as more chills went up his spine, causing him to whimper and shake when he reminded himself of what was about to happen.

He should have listened to Byleistr and run when he had the chance.

Now, he was going to pay the price in the worst possible way.

Reduced to a plaything, he was, and Thor would do the worst damage to him.

Loki forced back the urge to retch and kept himself very still. Perhaps if he didn’t move, Thor would leave him alone, or maybe he could …

The tent flapped open again and all thought left Loki.

Thor walked in, looking bright and golden and regal as he stood, looking at the room before he spotted Loki.

The man looked right about to faint and Thor smirked a little.

He closed the flap behind him, grabbing a loop off the door and securing it to a little hook on the side; a lock. He walked inside and unclasped his cape.

“Father tells me you are a half breed” Thor rumbled “and that you don’t understand our tongue”

Loki stood still, watching at the wraith moved within the confines of the tent.

“But I don’t think we will need words for what happens, do we?” Thor turned his back to Loki and gestured to his cape.

He was to be his servant, Loki realized, before Thor took him. He shuddered once more and took a step back, shaking his head.

Thor’s eyebrows rose when this man became ten times more interesting than before.

“No?” he chuckled “Come now, you can’t expect that to happen, can you?”

Loki didn’t realize he was retreating, even as Thor remained still, until he touched the curtain over the wall of the tent.

He froze, his hands shielding himself, as he watched Thor with wide eyes. There was no place for him to run, but Loki couldn’t let this happen to him.

He looked around, for something to use against Thor, but all the weapons were placed at Thor’s side of the tent, right next to the divan, right opposite Loki.

Thor smirked and raised a hand to call Loki over.

Once more Loki shook his head, murmuring pleadings so softly Thor could hardly hear them.

Thor scoffed and moved forward.

Loki gave a sharp cry and slid downwards, arms still protecting himself as Thor approached. He kept shaking his head as Thor loomed over him.

Thor sighed and looked down at him.

Contrary to what this man believed, Thor had no intention of having him tonight. He was tired and battle weary; all he really needed was a bath and since he had already asked and gotten him, this man was to be of use to him as a servant tonight.

He shook his head and grabbed Loki’s wrist.

Loki gave a shrill cry and tried to pull back, but Thor was too strong. He simply lifted him off and moved him to the side.

And Loki struggled and kicked, pleaded and yelled. It didn’t affect Thor, but a moment later, Loki shut up when Thor simply deposited him into the steaming tub, uncaring of the water that fell off the sides.

When Loki came up for air, spluttering, Thor glared at him.

“I am _not_ going to touch you!” Thor almost yelled “so calm down!”

Loki, shivering and shuddering, stared at him, unable to speak. He couldn’t believe what Thor had said, he couldn’t. Because he wasn’t one Loki would trust so easily.  He blinked owlishly up at Thor.

And Thor felt his lips twitch.

Because the man made such a funny sight. He appeared to have understood him, because he wasn’t struggling or running, but he looked as offended as a doused cat.

Thor grinned and shook his head before he turned to one of the chests he had around. He dug in, aware of the man watching his moves, and pulled his oldest tunic and trousers. They were his sleepwear, but Thor could always sleep without anything on, and he tossed them on the divan before gesturing to the clothes, then Loki.

Twice, just so he understood.

Loki managed a nod before he sank deeper into the tub and Thor chuckled.

***

Thor had to wait before the man deemed himself worthy enough to get out of the tub. His stupid looking robes clung to his body and Thor had a hard time looking away. He focused himself of menial tasks, as he had done while the man washed, and looked back only when he was sure his new servant was dressed.

In Thor’s clothes of white and beige, he looked almost innocent. And Thor found him much more intriguing than he previously had. He was looking around for a place to stash his dirty, wet robes and Thor rolled his eyes.

Loki shrank back when Thor approached him, but stopped when Thor raised both his hands to show he meant no harm. When Thor held out a hand, Loki mindlessly gave him his wet robes, then watched as he took them to the flap.

An indignant yell escaped him when Thor tossed the robes outside, clearly thinking them garbage.

“They were horrible” Thor said, though the man couldn’t understand

Loki had to bite back a retort and remind himself he wasn’t supposed to know their language.

He opted to stand with his hands crossed over his chest and tapped his barefoot while Thor prepared for his own bath.

As Thor undressed, Loki’s green eyes went from the golden and expensive drapes, to the candles and other things strewn around carelessly. He idly picked at the sleeve of his borrowed tunic and tried to fight the sleep that had started to seep over him thanks to the warm bath.  

The sound of water sloshing alerted him that Thor was in the bath and Loki could finally look upon that area of the room.

It turned out to be a mistake.

Loki’s jaw almost dropped when he saw how _beautiful_ Thor was.

Skin as tough as the man himself, rippling muscles that bunched when he moved and his hair – as bright and gold as the sun itself.

Loki didn’t realize he was staring as Thor sat in the bath, didn’t realize his eyes roved over the column of his throat, his collarbones, jutting out against the muscles and his chest.

Loki’s chest began to move faster as his breath began to constrict. His hand went to massage his pulse point as he tried _not_ to look.

His perfectly chiseled chest and muscles on his carved marble like abdomen and …

Thor chuckled and Loki looked up sharply.

His green eyes fixed on Thor’s face and he realized he had been caught. Immediately, a bright flush crept up his face and Loki looked away. He lowered his hands to cross over his chest and once more looked at the weapons placed on one corner of the room.

He bit his lip as his situation, which he had forgotten as he stared at Thor, came back to him and he couldn’t quite stop the tears that came to his eyes.

He missed his brother and he wanted desperately to go home.

Thor observed him, saw the sad expression on his face and in his eyes.

His mouth twisted.

A sharp whistle made Loki turn back to Thor and spun his head away the next moment because Thor was standing there _stark naked_ , the water slipping off him in a way that made Loki want to touch.

Shaking his head, Thor grabbed a towel and pulled it around his waist before he whistled again. 

This time, Loki was more cautious and peeked at him.

“Clothes” Thor said, pointing to the chest behind Loki.

Loki remained where he was stubbornly and pointedly looked away.

Thor raised a brow and called to him again, his anger rising when he was ignored again.

Thunder rumbled in the distance as Thor walked over to Loki and roughly grabbed his arm, making him turn towards him.

“Listen to ….” 

Thor broke off growling, when Loki began to pull against him, trying to wrench his arm from his grip.

But Thor held on tightly, ignoring the fact that he could easily bruise this man.

“Stop it!”

Loki writhed almost violently, trying to get out of his grasp because in the end – he was an Aesir.

Thor grabbed his shoulders with his large hands “Will you just …”

The slap was tight and seemed to resound in the room.

It spun Thor’s head to the side and made him lose his grip on Loki, who used his confusion to put distance between them and get out of Thor’s reach.

When Thor looked back, Loki saw the rage in his eyes and felt his heart drop.

Thor advanced on Loki.

Loki yelped as he tried to dodge him, but it was of no use. Thor grabbed him at his second attempt, fisting his large hand in the back of the tunic Loki wore and yanking him back.

Loki yelled and pulled against him, but Thor’s grip was like steel and a moment later he was thrown on the ground, the hiss of leather sounded in the tent.

Loki froze, simply froze in horror when he heard the sound and dared to look behind him.

Thor held a leather strap in his hand.

Loki shouted something Thor didn’t understand before curling up into a ball, hands protecting his face.

Thor blinked, confused “What the hell is the matter with you?”

Then he looked at the strap in his hand and realized how it must look to the boy. He sighed, shaking his head before grabbing Loki’s wrist.

Loki whimpered, seemingly of the thought that struggling would only increase his lashes, and remained as curled as he was, protecting his face.

So when Thor simply tied the leather strap firmly around his wrist and hauled him to his feet, Loki couldn’t contain the cry of surprise that came from his mouth. He was half dragged to the middle of the tent, amid his feeble struggles, before suddenly being bound on the mast that held Thor’s royal tent up.

Then Thor released him and Loki fell on his rump, looking shocked.

For a moment before he masked it, Thor thought about how _adorable_ his new servant looked, staring at the strap wound around his wrists with large eyes, blinking at it like it was the strangest thing he had ever seen.

Then Loki turned and gave Thor a dismayed look and Thor couldn’t help but chuckle before he picked up his sleep clothes himself and prepared for bed.

***

In the middle of the night, past the hour when no one but a few guards remained awake, Thor woke to a disturbance.

Something was cracking bones outside – or it sounded like that – and in the eerie silence, it jolted Thor awake.

He sat up on his bed, amid the furs and blankets, hand going to the dagger he kept under his pillow incase an attack came.

The loud cracks sounded again and Thor got out of bed, placing his feet on the floor.

A soft whistle made him turn and he saw his servant looking at him balefully.

Thor furrowed his brow and went to light the nearest candle.

Loki eyed the dagger in his hands and rolled his eyes.

He said a word to Thor and Thor blinked.

Loki seemed to think him stupid before he scoffed and repeated the word once more.

Thor shook his head, prompting his servant to think.

Hands still bound, he made flowing gestures with his hand, then nodded to the side. He did it again, until _finally_ Thor understood.

“The lake” Thor hummed “the ice probably cracks at this hour”

Thor’s victory was short lived because he was being stared at again.

He shook his head and waved a hand aside, going back to bed.

Another sound made him stop and look back.

Loki, seated on his knees, tugged on the binding and looked at Thor pleadingly. 

He was uncomfortable and probably didn’t get any sleep.

Thor bit his lip in something akin to guilt before looking back at his bed. He was a servant; he needed to learn respect.

He was about to go to sleep again when the same pleading noise came and Thor sighed.

“Fine” he muttered, eager to get back to bed “don’t try anything”

Loki sat still as Thor approached, crouching as the prince came to release him.

“There, now you can…”

Loki slammed his palm right into Thor’s jaw and sent him sprawling back the moment he was freed.

Thor gave a cry before he fell back and looked up in time to see his servant run to the tent’s flap.

“You little bastard!” Thor leapt to his feet and chased after him.

Loki, in his haste to escape, had forgotten that Thor had latched the tent shut. And just as he pulled it open, Thor grabbed him.

Loki yelled and began to writhe like a snake in Thor’s grip, forcing the Crowned Prince to stumble back, his captive in his arms.

“Calm down, you idiot!” Thor yelled as the boy continued to yell and struggle.

Loki pulled and yanked, tried to push Thor’s arms off him as they held him around the waist. Then, in his mad desire to free himself, he reared back and accidentally slammed the back of his head into Thor’s nose.

Thor gave a pained cry and released him, holding his nose.

And Loki ran outside, his bare feet crunching on the snow.

He heard shouts behind him as the guards began to run after him, but he didn’t stop. He ran faster and faster, the night air whipping his hair back and hitting his face as he ran past the campsite and into the thick snow and ice.

Somewhere behind him, he heard Thor’s voice and it only drove him to run harder.

He caught sight of thickset shrubbery and immediately made for it, intending to hide in it.

The snow here concealed thorns and it nipped brutally at the soles of Loki’s feet, bringing tears into his eyes as he crouched within it. His borrowed clothes tore under the wicked thorns and he placed a hand over his mouth to stifle his cries as he stayed hidden.

He heard guards coming close, but he didn’t hear Thor.

He took a small step back slowly, wishing them to abandon their search and run, then another, then another. The shrubs barely concealed him, but the night and his colors helped him camouflage himself.

Somewhere, the clouds thundered gently and further darkened the atmosphere.

The jagged rocks around them seemed more sinister and the snow seemed to envelope everything in the harsh terrain.

Loki was already freezing, but the blood pumping in his veins was keeping him mobile, at least.

In the dark, Loki managed to creep out of the shrubs.

He listened carefully and heard the guards yelling, though they remained in the distance. Carefully, without making noise, Loki placed one foot out in the snow, then the other, then pulled himself out and looked around.

There were trees around, black in this darkness, and Loki tried to use them as a shield when he moved further and further into the frozen glades.

His bleeding feet felt soothed as he moved through the trees, passing them and looking for a familiar path or something that would help him in finding his way back home. He hugged his shivering torso and kept moving, looking for enemy and territory at the same time.

And so involved was he, that he never realized _what_ he had walked on till he felt the almost marble like smoothness beneath his feet and heard the harsh _crack_ that had woken Thor.

Loki stilled and looked down.

His mouth went dry when he saw himself perched on top of the frozen lake, the water moving beneath the thin ice he stood on.

He stared down in horror and whimpered when he saw cracks forming under his feet. He took a step back and stilled when the crack spread faster. His mouth parted and he didn’t know whether to cry for help or just cry.

Because he was going to die.

“Hold still!”

Loki looked up when he heard the call, looking here and there before he caught sight of the figure that had called to him.

Thor stood in the distance, waving a hand at him.

Loki shivered and stilled, but the cracks didn’t.

He saw Thor lift something into the air and tell him to remain still again.

Loki, who was standing on his toes, felt his foot slip a little.

And as soon as he gained his balance…

The ice broke from under him.

***

Thor heard the scream and went pale when he saw his servant get sucked into the frozen lake.

He gave a loud yell before lifting Mjolnir to the skies and flying high up. Then, when he saw a white figure sailing beneath the ice, he took a deep breath, cursed the norns, and dove into the frozen lake, propelled by his hammer.

***

Odin rushed to Thor’s tent, Balder at his tail. Their breath huffed and created fog as they sprinted towards brother and son, worry evident on their faces.

The moment they tore through the tent, one after the other, their worry went to relief and a moment after _that_ it went to humor.

Because inside, placed in the clearing made free from furs, was a large fire and sitting next to that fire, in the furs that had previously been on the ground, were two slumped, sad figures.

Thor was covered in almost six, bundled so that only his eyes and forehead showed. He slit his eyes when Odin and Balder came in, daring them to laugh at him.

Balder pulled his lips inwards to halt his mirth and looked at the other figure.

All humor vanished when he saw his savior staring at him with pleading eyes.

Balder immediately composed himself and looked at the ground; wondering at the chances of his rescuer being caught by his _brother_.

“Uh…” Odin’s voice was the first in the room “What happened?”

“If you laugh, old man, I swear I shall throw you in the lake and take your crown” 

Balder felt easy instantly, laughing at his brother’s voice.

“You already have the crown” Odin said, relieved that nothing was truly wrong with his son, and walked in “but I am considering giving it to Balder”

Balder followed, aware of the glance of two bright green eyes upon him, eyeing Thor.

“Ah, Father, you have revealed to him our plan. How careless”

“Not careless” Odin said as he sat on the divan “strategic. Now Thor will be forced to obey my every command for that crown”

“In your dreams” Thor muttered through the furs and blankets that covered him “I would rather wed a Jotun”

“Interesting idea” Balder said “half blue babies running around the palace, with Thor’s dim wit and a Jotun’s size”

“A disaster in the making” Odin said

“Go away” Thor told them

They laughed and the mood immediately seemed lighter.

Odin lifted his gaze to the figure that sat opposite his son.

“So” he asked Thor “he was the trouble?”

Thor grunted “Norns know that I have no fear of Hel now that he had been gifted to me”

Odin chuckled at his son’s misery “Not gifted, my dear boy, you asked for him yourself”

“Don’t you have Volstagg’s tent to peek into?” Thor asked.

Balder furrowed his brow and looked at Odin “What?”

“Nothing”

“Your father here” Thor said “had the most lecherous look on his face when I came upon him in our old friend’s tent. I feared for his honor, I still do, brother and it would be wise to warn him”

“I should have given you for adoption years ago” Odin muttered

Balder laughed “Brother, I warned you years ago, that our father was rather insane”

“You all are” Odin said, getting up “if these events are anything to judge by”

“Count me out” Thor said “I am no son of yours if you went to adoption so quickly. What stops me from being some poor bastard’s child that you lifted to entertain yourself?”

“Your mother’s screaming”

Silence fell as victory was awarded to Odin.

Then Odin nodded to Loki “Are you well, then?”

Two large green eyes peered up at him from the confines of the warm furs and Loki nodded slowly.

“Good” Odin said “But don’t try anything so stupid again. We might not be there to save you”

Once more, Loki nodded and lowered his gaze.

Odin left and the two brothers were left alone – with Loki.

Balder chuckled and glanced at Loki once more. The poor man looked wretched and it seemed like he wanted to be anywhere but here.

“So what happened?” he asked Thor as he slid to the ground beside the divan.

Thor sighed “Little runt tried to escape and fell into the lake.”

“And you saved him”

“No, Balder I wanted to have a little swim before I went to sleep!”

Balder chuckled and looked at his feet “Oh”

“I should have let him drown” Thor muttered “damned near broke my nose”

Balder laughed “Don’t tell me”

Thor glared at him before he lowered the furs and Balder laughed when he saw a bruise decorating Thor’s nose and cheek.

“Shut up”

Balder obeyed and looked at Loki once more.

The Jotun looked like he was going to fall asleep where he sat.

“You should sleep” Balder told Thor without taking his eyes off the other “It’s been a long night”

“What’s the point?” Thor said, miserably “I have to wake in a few hours anyway”

Balder scoffed and stood “Is he alright?”

Thor shrugged but said nothing.

Balder’s lips tightened and he gave Loki a long glance.

The boy seemed alright, thought tired, so he nodded.

“Then rest” Balder ruffled Thor’s hair to the younger’s annoyance “I shall manage things if you wish to sleep”

“I knew you were after the crown” Thor muttered

Balder chuckled and turned to leave.

“Just so long as it annoys you, brother” he said as he parted the tent door and left.

He tried ignoring the pair of green eyes that were locked on him till he vanished from sight.

***

The next morning, Thor didn’t wake.

He rumbled on his bed past noon, snoring like a wounded animal and curled into the blankets around him. 

On the floor, Loki was bundled in the furs he had been sitting in, a ball of misery and angst as he too slept soundly.

Outside, the day had begun and men had started having breakfast. The fires roasted, the bustle of movement and the neighing of horses created an environment of companionship and goodwill.

And since they were taken to their tasks to well, no one noticed the figure that crept into Thor’s tent.

Thor’s slumbers were legendary. He didn’t wake for anything other than his own will so it was relatively easy for Tyr to sneak in unnoticed by his crowned prince.

His warrior’s eyes went, first to Thor before going to the figure sleeping on the floor, buried in furs.

Tyr smiled and went over, crouching by Loki’s head and looked down at him.

Again, sleeping, he was beautiful and Tyr felt desire rise in him.

This time, he simply reached over and placed a hand over Loki’s mouth, silencing his screams before they even started.

Loki’s eyes opened and he looked up.

He recoiled but Tyr let his mouth go to fist a hand in his hair, pulling him up.

Loki gasped in pain as he was forced to sit up, opening his mouth to call for Thor before he felt Tyr’s hook on his gut.

“One word” Tyr told him “and I will gut you like a fish”

Loki shut up.

“Tell me how you know Byleistr” 

Loki’s eyes went wide and he shoved as Tyr, gasping when his hand tightened in his hair.

“I …” he choked “I don’t …”

“Liar” Tyr hissed “you called to him, I was there…”

Thor shifted in his sleep and Loki was dropped to the ground when Tyr looked at his soon to be prince.

When he looked back, he found Loki missing and looked up in time to see him run out the tent.

Growling, he stood and followed.

But Loki knew where to go; he had seen kindness there and he knew that if there was even the smallest chance at safety, it would be in that tent.

Loki was stared at as he ran through, but no one really thought anything of it because if he ran; they would catch him again.

Besides, _everyone_ was awake, so there was no harm in letting him run about a little.

But then Tyr ran after him, yelling, and the scene changed.

***

Balder had just finished the last of his tea when he heard a desperate yell.

Someone had called him.

Immediately, he grabbed his sword and ran out of the tent.

It took him a moment, mainly because he was surrounded by men and held tightly in the arms of one of their soldiers while the other brought a brand towards him, but the moment Balder saw Loki, he moved.

Loki yelled as he saw the cruel man advance, his brand heated and ready to be applied to his skin. He struggled, pulling against the man that held his arms pinned beside him, his eyes fixed on the wicked weapon.

Then he saw Balder approach and cried for help.

The brand wielding man had only the others hasty steps back as warning before Balder spun him around and hit him across the face, sending him sprawling back.

The brand clattered away. 

“Have you all lost your mind!?” he yelled, then glared at the man that held Loki “Let him go!”

Loki stumbled as he was released before running to Balder and shielding himself behind him.

“Is this what the Aesir stand for!?” Balder yelled “maiming an innocent boy!?”

“But …” one of the men said “we were told they were orders, sir”

Balder scowled at him “Whose orders? And _who_ told you?”

“Tyr said it was…”

“Tyr?” Balder growled “Whose orders did he relay?”

“Prince Thor’s , your majesty” one of the men said.

Balder’s mouth tightened and he marched ahead without a word, holding Loki’s wrist in one hand and dragging him along.

His anger, which had reached a burning peak, faded into nothing when he saw Thor sleeping soundly in his tent, snoring loud enough to cause avalanches.

Balder sighed and shook his head before leading Loki in. The man was shivering and Balder sensed he had no experience with such violence.

He seated him on one of the chests and crouched before him.

“I am truly sorry, my friend” he told Loki “but rest assured something like this won’t happen again”

Loki looked away and Balder felt ten times guiltier.

“Are you hungry?” he asked, placing a hand on Loki’s knee.

He paused when Loki gently nudged it off with his hand and pulled away from him, shaking his head.

“Do you wish to sleep a little more, then?” Balder asked, keeping his hands to himself “What do you want?”

Loki looked at him, then and whispered softly enough for only Balder to hear

“I want to go home”

And Balder felt his heart shatter for this man.

“Oh, friend, I …”

The tent flap opened and Odin loomed before them.

The moment he saw them, Balder kneeling before Thor’s servant, his eyes widened.

“What happened?” Odin asked, walking in “And why is he not outside, helping?”

Balder stood “Father, Tyr …” 

“You!” Odin pointed to Loki “Out! There are things that need to be moved, go make yourself useful, now!”

Loki flinched and sprinted away, not one to disobey Odin.

“Father, you have no …”

“I saw what happened” Odin snapped, turning to him “you beat down one of our own to help that _Jotun_! How do you think it looks to them!?”

“They were going to brand him like an animal!” Balder countered “That is not what we are about!”

“Neither are about helping Jotuns after we brought war to their land!” Odin said “our loyalty lies with Asgard, not that _boy_! What they did was wrong and I was going to stop them before you went in like a man deranged! You _cannot_ raise a hand to your own men, Balder!”

Balder stood, arms crossed, his mouth a thin, angry line.

“Go” Odin said “see that he remains out of trouble and get Tyr to me. I wish to question him about a few things”

Balder didn’t say anything, but obeyed his father and left in his angry stride.

Behind Odin, Thor was awake and looked at his father.

“What…?”

“Creating trouble seems to be second nature to that boy of yours” Odin turned to him “If you asked for him, _keep_ him in line, Thor”

Thor gulped and nodded, wondering how he enticed his father’s rage without even being awake.

***

Loki wiped a tear from his eyes as he bent low and shoveled snow aside.

From prince to renegade to servant, that was his fall and it couldn’t have been more painful.

He eyed the horizon, now somewhat better in the semi dark sky of a Jotun morning. He could see in the distance, and the terrain seemed familiar enough, but not enough for him to manage an escape.

Besides, he thought grimly, he was being watched all the time.

His rescue may have saved him, but it spread rumors about him, too, and now Loki found himself being the attention of almost every soldier the Aesir army had to offer.

He heard what they called him and it made him sick.

He had done _nothing_! He didn’t deserve this.

More angry tears came to his eyes a moment before he heard snow crunch behind him.

He looked back, hands tightening on his shovel to turn it into a weapon in case someone attacked him again.

They didn’t loosen when he saw Thor approach, a tired look on his handsome face. He wore his armor, looked regal and powerful, and Loki had to hold back a shiver of excitement just looking at him.

Then Thor shattered the illusion by presenting him with a pair of boots.

Loki looked at the offering, scowled and went back to shoveling snow.

Thor sighed “Come now, boy, my father insists”

Father, Loki wanted to snap, the heartless wretch that is forcing me to do this.

He didn’t say it out loud, instead, shoving the spade roughly into the snow and lifting up a significant amount of dirt from beneath to shove away.

Thor winced, then his gaze went to the boy’s bare feet. His feet were almost blue till his ankles – it must be excruciating.

Sighing, Thor looked behind him, at the men who stared at him, before slitting his gaze and sending them scampering away. He turned back to the boy and placed a hand over his shoulder.

“Boy” he said

Loki shook his arm off and kept going at it.

Thor almost growled and abandoned the task there and then, but his father told him to mind the boy. So he exhaled and grabbed the boy’s arm this time, forcibly halting him.

Loki pulled but Thor was stronger and he was in pain, so he relented.

He dropped the spade, but didn’t turn to look at Thor.

“I’m going to call you Hitch” Thor muttered “because you are such a _problem_!”

Loki didn’t respond but he hissed and cried out softly when Thor gently nudged his foot with the toe of his boot.

Thor winced then moved forward when newly named Hitch suddenly fell backwards, all ignored pain flaring to life.

Loki gave a harsh cry, choked off as _agonizing_ pain shot up his feet and ankles, making him loose the stubborn balance he was on. And he would have hit the snow unless two strong arms suddenly held him, keeping him from falling. 

Why Loki was in Thor’s arms, he didn’t know, but he was denied to answer when his feet began to _burn_ with the intensity of the sun.

It was like someone was tearing them off, slowly with needles heated to the point of scorching and Loki gasped, his hand going to Thor’s shoulder and _squeezing_ to try and soothe himself.

Thor barely winced, simply lifted the boy and carried him back to his tent.

He shook his head as he walked, uncaring of the glances he got.

Once inside, he gently placed the hissing, whimpering mess in his arms on the bed, and went to get his healing stones.

Loki lay flat, writhing in his agony as his feet and ankles felt like they were being scratched off.

He had a hand over his mouth as he muffled his voice and was so lost in his pain he didn’t notice Thor grab his foot and gently place a healing stone on it before holding it there.

A few moments later, Loki started to realize what Thor was doing and lifted his head to look at him. Thor had his blue gaze on his work as he fixed the mess Loki had made in his stubbornness.

He kept muttering in a language Loki truly didn’t understand and kept shaking his head.

When he realized Loki had stopped moving and kicking, he looked up at him.

“You might just be my death, Hitch”

Loki looked aside, letting Thor work on him as he thought of another way to make an escape.

But then Balder came with a flourish of royal robes and laughter as he came to tell his brother something he found hilarious.

The moment he saw what was happening, Balder paused and began to ask questions.

“The norns hate me” Thor replied after a tirade of questioning “going to Hel seems brighter than taking care of Hitch”

“Hitch?” Balder asked

“His name” Thor said “because he is so much trouble.”

“You are not apt at names” Balder said “I already feel sorry for your children”

“Then what would you have me call him?” Thor asked, placing another healing stone under Loki’s foot to heal it.

Balder thought a moment “Trouble Maker?”

“How about Pest?”

Balder scowled “That was petty”

“Snag?”

“Thor!”

“How about Crisis?” 

“Loki”

Both brothers blinked at the sudden interruption.

Thor frowned “What?”

Loki pointed to his chest “Loki”

Then he pointed to Thor “Thor”

Then he shifted to Balder “Balder”

He brought his hand back to his chest “Loki”

Both Thor and Balder stared 

“I think he wants us to call him Loki”

Thor hummed, his eyes narrowing “Loki it is”

And Loki swallowed, hoping to the stars he hadn’t made a mistake.


	4. Kept

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki's days at the Aesir camp

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight non - con
> 
> The Song is by Poets of the Fall
> 
> and two angels made this for me
> 
> http://fav.me/d6bbtkk

Lately, with the few days of his capture, Loki came to realize that he had made himself a pleasant, though somewhat irritating presence in the Aesir camp.

He pretended not to know their language and that gave him more cause than any other to avoid working himself too hard.

He had always been under pressure, always in demand when he had been with Byleistr. Here, thought he was a prisoner, they left him alone most of the time.

Those that knew his language talked to him for a short while before he got bored and walked off, sometimes in mid conversation. Those that didn’t speak his language, became unsuspecting sources of information to Loki.

He listened to them pretending to work beside them as they talked about how they were attacking, where they were attacking and whether or not that stupid beast, Tyr, had killed his brother or not. He knew Odin had sent him for something, he assumed it was to kill Byleistr and Loki waited, praying every day that his brother remain safe.

Because he was the only family Loki had left and without his, thought sometimes cruel presence, Loki would be in far worse condition than he was in now.

And though he didn’t think his semi freedom awful, he didn’t try and stop escaping.

A few days ago, had been one of his more adventurous runs and it had left Thor _fuming_.

The Crowned Prince had entered his tent, unsuspecting of anything because he had tied his loose footed servant once more, and jumped back to avoid an attack with a shout of anger.

Loki had been waiting for him, one of Thor’s larger swords in his hands, and struck down hard. 

It hadn’t ended well.

Loki had no training and his adrenaline was all that drove him so the sword had ended up embedded in the ground and while Loki had pulled, Thor had lunged.

He pinned the younger man on the floor, making him writhe to escape again, and forced him to halt when he grabbed his throat.

“Stop it!” Thor had yelled at him

Loki yelled something back and Thor pressed his throat till he got the message before he got off. Loki didn’t move, lying there and pretending to have died. Thor scoffed and shook his head before moving further into the room, letting Loki have his tantrum.

Loki didn’t move for four hours and Thor didn’t look up at him once. 

A couple of days later, Thor sat sharpening his weapons and Loki stood, arms crossed, as he looked outside, gradually stepping closer to the door of his tent. Thor saw him when he was a foot away and raised a brow.

Loki glared at him and took a step closer to the door, waiting for Thor to move.

But Thor simply watched him and that seemed to irritate Loki.

He took another step closer and scowled when Thor smiled at him. Knowing he was being aggravated,

Loki took another step before he sprinted out into the snow and ice, ready to run.

Thor sighed and went back to his work and had to wait only a minute before he heard whistles and loud calls, shouts and cheers of their men as the handsome man came into their view.

He heard footsteps and Loki ran back into his tent, hissing at the men that had leered at him and slapped his bottom. He stared at Thor, eyed wide in shock and anger. His face went into a stunned expression when he discovered Thor had known this would happen.

Loki growled something unpleasant and went to sit in the corner he had made for himself.

He didn’t try to run again and Thor was not inclined to bind him to his post.

Loki tended to the horses willingly.

There was something about them that caught his affection and no matter how he tried to he couldn’t get his mind off how beautiful they were.

They would burr in happiness when he arrived, the only ones who saw him as something to be happy about rather than think of him as an omen. He gave them oats all the time.

Right now, he walked into the tent that held the horses and smirked when they saw him and patted the ground excitedly. Their ears twitched and they made small noises when he approached the bag that had the oats and pulled out a fist full of them.

He cooed at them in his own language, not one to take big risks and use the All Speak lest someone heard him.

“You missed me, darling, didn’t you?” he cooed at a white horse and the horse tugged on his hair before he took the oats he offered.

Loki let him have some, keeping well out of his tongue’s reach; he didn’t like horse drool on him, before he pulled back and went to the next.

“Angus” he greeted a horse as it nuzzled his hand, asking for his treat “you greedy little bastard”

Loki chuckled and pulled his hand back, letting Angus look at him in surprise before he pocketed the oats and moved it to Angus, trying to make him take it.

Angus moved his head closer, touching Loki and looking for his treats and Loki chuckled before moving his pocket closer to him.

“Here, you glutton”

Angus gave a happy snort and put his muzzle into Loki’s pocket, jerking his head back and yanking Loki closer. Loki chuckled and let him have his treat before he stepped back and pulled the oats out again, to give to the others.

When he was done, he picked up a brush so he could brush their fur. 

Since he had taken over, the stable lads had started to treat him like a king. They snuck him sweets and meats and gave him ale when he wanted it and massaged his shoulders to keep him relaxed and happy enough to do all their work.

He didn’t mind. Those boys were fun to watch; they didn’t speak his language and listening to them talk was rather informative.

Like now, for example, when they came in after lunch, talking amongst themselves. They saw him and grinned.

“Loki!”

His name had been released.

The camp now knew what he was called, thanks to Thor’s constant yelling for him, and though it would mean they call him by his name, they still called him pet names they gave him themselves. Some were nice, others were just mean and petty.

Thor’s pup was by far the most insulting and Loki wanted to punch the man responsible for naming him that.

But Loki knew what would come to him if he gave in to his desire to hurt and it wouldn’t be good.

He raised a hand in greeting to the Aesir boys, no older than seventeen at most, as they came in and huddled around in a corner, cards in hand.

They often played cards and always asked Loki to join in. Right now, Loki nodded and pointed to the horse he was brushing.  
Later 

They nodded and went ahead while Loki brushed and listened.

“Did you see Prince Thor today?” one of them, John, spoke

“Aye” another answered “I have oft seen him lift his hammer in anger, but not like today”

“The ground seemed to shake”

“The skies, too”

“I wonder what Prince Balder said to anger him so”

Loki’s hand moving on the horse stopped as he listened.

“I think it was about his revenge” John told the others “you saw how terrifying he was with the captives.

I thought for sure the All Father would stop him”

“He asked for it, the All Father didn’t deny him”

“Aye, but he should have thought upon the massacre. Even Jotuns deserve mercy every now and then”

When they went silent, Loki resumed his brushing, apparently unaware of their conversation.

“I wonder why Lord Thor has kept him so safe”

John scoffed and made the others look at him.

“It is no secret,” he said slowly “everyone knows what Thor intends to do to him. He’s a spoil of war, it would only be a matter of time before Thor mounts him”

The brush fell with a clatter to the ground and they turned to see Loki pick it up. They turned back when he resumed and failed to notice his shivering hands.

“You heard what Gareth said” John told him “Thor refused his gold and riches to have that man for himself. There really is only one reason”

“And the way he looks at him is no secret”

“I thought men couldn’t lay with men in Asgard”

“Aye, but this is Jotunhiem and he is a Jotun. The only reason he is here is because Prince Thor wants him to warm his bed.”

“What if he already has?” a stupid one asked “and that’s why he doesn’t work”

“Fool!” John smacked his head “if he had him, he wouldn’t be able to walk and all the camp would have heard his screams”

Loki gasped and realized he was shivering violently, his breath coming out in small sounds. His hand on the horse had stopped and his eyes had become glazed and watery.

“I don’t want to talk about this”

“Aye, let’s deal out the cards, Loki, is almost done”

“Loki!”

Loki flinched and swallowed his horror before he turned to face them.

They gestured for him to come over and he nodded. He turned back and set the brush aside with shaking hands before forcing himself to come over.

He knew why Thor had taken him.

He’d just forgotten. And when it was brought out so openly and discussed to openly, he realized he was more frightened than he had originally thought.

***

After the game, which they played until Loki forgot his problem – somewhat, they brushed themselves off and got ready to help with dinner. 

Loki stayed behind and decided to stay with the horses.  

He smiled at them as he neared them and raised a hand to let the largest nuzzle against his palm.

“You wouldn’t let him hurt me, would you?”

The horse neighed and lifted its head, resting it against Loki’s back to pull him closer. Loki chuckled and put his arms around him.

“I knew it”  
He let the animal soothe him, though it did no real good other than offer him some physical comfort, staying like that until it grunted and nudged him off.

Clearly, patience had worn thin and Loki chuckled as he stepped back, going to grab a bucket that he had used as a seat and going to place it out of horse’s reach.

His mirth vanished the moment he turned and saw Thor standing at the entrance of the tent, looking at him.

Loki froze, his eyes fixed on the man before him as he walked in.

“I didn’t see you come in with the lads” Thor said, though he knew Loki couldn’t understand “I wondered where you had gone”

It was understandable, given Loki’s recent failed attempt at escape and Thor’s consequent rescue of him, but somehow, with a recent reminder of what he was to Thor, something he had forgotten in the haze of work or spying, he found himself taking a few hasty steps back.

Thor sighed and shook his head.

One would think he would have gained _some_ ground with the man he had rescued from drowning.

But one thing he knew Loki was – stubborn.

And Thor knew he wouldn’t come back unless Thor made him and since he had seen a few of his men eyeing Loki in a way he didn’t like, he sighed and walked over, ready to _make_ him come with him.

But Loki shied back, holding a bucket as a shield as he stared at Thor uncertainly.

Fear, that was always there on his face and though Thor didn’t blame him, he didn’t like seeing it there.

There were no many other emotions that could come over that beautiful face, all Loki needed was to let them.

But Thor knew why he was scared and though there was nothing he could do about it, he still wanted to.

“Dinner” Thor said, stopping and gesturing to the tent’s entrance “Come on”

When Loki still didn’t move, he pointed to his mouth and showed him that dinner was ready, before simply dropping his hands in defeat and moving forward.

Loki jumped back but Thor had his arm in his hand and even though Loki pulled back against him, Thor dragged him out, taking the bucket from him and tossing it aside as he dragged Loki behind him.

When they arrived at the center of the tent, where dinner was commencing, Thor released Loki’s hand, stepped behind him and prodded him ahead, telling him to keep moving.

Loki didn’t know what Thor wanted him to do at dinner, and the man kept _poking_ him so he tried to shake him off and was rewarded with Thor grabbing his arm and pushing him forward until they came upon an empty bench.

Loki huffed as he was plopped down on it but was halted from further expression of irritation when Thor handed him a platter of food and sat beside him, glaring at everyone that even _looked_ at Loki wrong. He shook his head, glaring at Thor before he touched his food, going for the cheese and dried meat first and popping them into his mouth slowly until he realized he was truly hungry and going on faster.

Thor chuckled at him before he caught sight of a few soldiers eyeing Loki’s legs under his borrowed clothes. Thor cleared his throat and looked them in the eyes.

Immediately, heads turned to their platters and Thor pulled off a piece of bread to chew while he watched a few men sing in off-key, tone deaf voices, making most jeer at them.

Beside him, he heard a scoff and turned to see Loki popping a piece of cheese into his mouth and shaking his head at the men Thor gazed at.

Thor smirked a little and bumped him with his elbow, making him look up.

Instantly, Loki shut him out and his humored expression turned wary. He lowered his eyes to his food and he began to eat it slowly.

Thor’s mood turned sour and he raised a hand to a stable lad, gesturing for some ale. The boy nodded to him and vanished before returning with a large keg that he handed to Thor.

Thor took a long draught before wiping his mouth on his sleeve and smiling at the taste that went in him.

It was really heavenly.

Idle chat started and though Thor didn’t usually listen to it, he caught glimpses now, refusing to let his mind wander as he kept drinking from his keg and kept brightening his mood.

***

One thing Loki noticed about Thor was his habit of drinking before going to bed. 

Though he had a keg, sometimes two, he never exceeded it enough to turn drunk, because they were in a war and drunk men didn’t win wars.

But tonight, something changed.

Tonight, as Loki listened to their bawdy singing and eating their food, he noticed the keg in Thor’s hand never seemed empty. Though he sipped it sparingly, he kept at it while he sat at Loki’s side and listened to the singing.

Even Balder had joined in the merrymaking, sitting at Thor’s feet and clapping along with everyone in good humor as the singing kept on going.

But halfway through, requests came for Balder to sing for his voice was like no one else’s and Thor, almost drunk by now, pushed at his brother’s shoulders, urging him on and stating a cheer as Balder’s protests got weaker and weaker.

In the end, Balder gave in and Loki watched, along with everyone else, as Balder went into the center to obey his crowd.

Chuckles sounded when a stable lad brought over a stool for him to stand on. More cheers sounded as Balder climbed up, bowing in good humor before straightening.

Loki found himself leaning forward a little as Balder began his ballad.

His voice rose slowly, from his normal treble to something slightly higher, raspy and _mesmerizing_. 

Loki listened as he sang, listening to the song he was singing.

_“There’s an old town wrought with mysteries of Tom the poet_ __  
  


_And his muse_ __  
  


_And the magic lake which gave a life to the words the poet used”_

Thor lifted his keg and took a sip, watching his brother and smiling at him in pride.

Balder continued, his deep voice resonating in the near silent camp. Everyone was enchanted by him and watched him carefully, taking in his voice.

_“Now the muse she was his happiness_ __  
  


_And he rhymed about her grace_ __  
  


_And told her stories of treasures_ __  
  


_Deep beneath the blackened waves”_

Someone spoke and was hushed by harsh hissing and Loki felt his mouth quirk a bit before he turned his attention back to Balder’s beautiful voice. 

_“Till in the stillness of one dawn_ __  
  


_Still in its mystic crown_ __  
  


_The muse she went down to the lake_ __  
  


_And in the waves she drowned”_

Thor froze, the smile leaving his face as he looked at Balder.

_“And now to see your love set free_ __  
  


_You will need the witch’s cabin key_ __  
  


_Find the lady of the Light_ __  
  


_Gone mad with the night_ __  
  


_That’s how you reshape destiny”_

Loki clicked his mouth shut and looked at the other people gathered around him, all staring at Balder with the same captivated expressions. He felt a smile touch his lips and automatically looked to Thor.

He froze when he saw the anguished look on Thor’s face.

His eyes were shining, his mouth parted as he looked upon his brother and heard his tale.

_“The poet went down to the lake_ __  
  


_To call out to his dear_ __  
  


_When there was no answer_ __  
  


_He was overcome with fear”_

Thor swallowed loudly, having trouble breathing properly and his hand tightened on his keg. Loki watched him, a whirl of emotion going through him as he listened to the song and watched Thor’s face.

_“He searched in vain for his treasure lost_ __  
  


_Until soon the night would fall_ __  
  


_And only his own echo_ __  
  


_Would wail back as his call”_

Thor gasped as Balder’s voice reached a grief stricken note before he abruptly stood, startling Loki, and left with his ale.

Confused, Loki looked after him as he went to his tent and let the door unroll and shut. Balder’s voice broke through again and Loki turned back.

_“And when he swore to bring back his love_ __  
  


_By stories he’d create_ __  
  


_Nightmares shifted endlessly_ __  
  


_In the darkness of the lake”_

A chill went up someone’s spine and Loki saw them shudder before his eyes went to where Thor had gone again.

_“And now to see your love set free_ __  
  


_You will need the witch’s cabin key_ __  
  


_Find the Lady of the Light_ __  
  


_Still raving in the night_ __  
  


_That’s how you reshape destiny”_

Balder’s haunting voice rose to the Jotun skies as his men heard him sing, the song nearing its end, the sorrowful tale closing with the First Prince’s resonating voice. Before Balder touched a higher note and began in an almost sweet voice.

_“In the dead of night she came to him_ __  
  


_With darkness in her eyes_ __  
  


_Wearing her mourning gown_ __  
  


_Sweet words as her disguise”_

Loki felt gooseflesh rise up his arms and rubbed them. As beautiful as it was, Loki didn’t really like horror stories and this one kept playing in his mind.

_“He took her in without a word_ __  
  


_For he saw his grave mistake_ __  
  


_And vowed them both to silence_ __  
  


_Deep beneath the lake”_

Balder finished off the song, letting the mast word stretch into nothingness before letting it stop altogether.

There was a stunned silence.

Then the camp exploded with cheers and claps and applause while Balder smiled and bowed to them, signaling the end of his night.

He caught sight of Loki while he searched for Thor and Loki saw realization dawn upon his face before disbelief did. He raised a hand to his head and jogged towards Loki, ignoring him completely as Loki smiled at him and running into Thor’s tent.

He had severely upset Thor and Loki watched, his whole form twisted, the door of Thor’s tent.

As expected, Balder stumbled out a few moments later, calling apologies to his brother and trying to get back in.

Behind him, Loki heard the men singing again and ignored them in favor of watching Balder.

The man was desperately talking through the door but it seemed in vain because he went silent a few moments later and lowered his head before stepping back, lip between his teeth, and trudging back to his own tent, mood darkened.

Loki watched him go, a curious expression on his face and a slight disbelief at how no one else saw this.

“Loki”

He turned when he heard Thor’s voice, then stilled when Thor raised a hand to call him over.

Thor was drunk and Loki was vulnerable. It wasn’t a good combination.

Loki looked over at Balder’s tent, but it was shut and back at Thor.

It was only luck that Thor frowned, took his acts as a desire to keep in the singing. He waved a hand for Loki to remain sitting and went back into the tent.

Loki breathed out long and slow before going to find an inconspicuous place to sit and enjoy the view until he was sure that Thor had slept.

***

It was near dawn when Loki snuck into Thor’s tent, so scared was he of Thor being awake.

The man had gone through pain and Loki was his servant. Thor was hurt enough to do anything to take his mind off it and Loki didn’t want to be around him at that moment, a convenient release.

He shuddered as he walked in from the singing.

It had long since stopped, the men slowly falling asleep and resting. Only those on duty, sober and awake, roamed the campsite and watched Loki when he finally entered Thor’s tent.

Thor wasn’t snoring, he was lying on his front, face buried in the pillows when Loki arrived and Loki tiptoed in, going to the furs he had been sleeping on lately.

He pulled the furs down, straightened them for himself and patted it to make sure no creature lay within. Satisfied, he sat back and pulled off his boots. And pushed back enough furs that they made a space for him to sit before he got in.

A candle lit behind him and Loki gasped, spinning around to see Thor looking at him.

He felt his heart begin to race when Thor frowned at him and blinked.

“You took your time” he muttered, sitting up in bed “did you enjoy yourself?”

The words were so menacing that Loki felt a chill crawl up his spine. He swallowed as he watched Thor, watched his large hands and his beautiful face.

Drunk. Thor was drunk and if Loki knew one thing about drunk, powerful men, it was that they were dangerous.

He shuddered, ready to bolt at a moment’s notice.

Thor slid off the bed and stood and immediately, Loki scrambled back, watching him carefully.

His borrowed tunic slid off one shoulder and Thor’s eyes went to it like a moth to a flame.

Loki froze, breath breaking as Thor approached him, candle held aloft.

“You seemed to have had fun” Thor said as he approached, uncaring of how desperately Loki wanted to get away.

He came over, cleverly cornering Loki between a trunk and his girth, and crouched down before him, placing the candle on the trunk and looking into Loki’s eyes.

Loki had his hands raised, ready to push Thor away in a moment, and his eyes were large as they watched Thor.

“You are truly beautiful, did you know that?” Thor rumbled and raised a hand.

Loki whimpered and tried to bat it away but Thor insisted and he made a small sound of hurt when Thor grabbed his hair and made him look at him.

“I want to see your face when I touch you”

Loki gasped and tried to recoil, freezing when Thor’s hand tightened in warning.

Tears began to form in his eyes as he shoved uselessly at Thor, his hands fisting in the night tunic the crowned prince wore.

“Ssh…” Thor said when Loki began to whimper “It’s okay, you’ll be okay”

His hand went to the front of Loki’s tunic.

“Na!” Loki gasped and pushed at him, trying to get Thor to let him go.

But Thor, drunk, didn’t listen and grabbed Loki’s arm to pull him to a stand and move him to a slightly more comfortable spot.

But Loki gave a desperate jerk and Thor lost his footing.

He stumbled back taking Loki with him as they fell on Loki’s furs. The moment he fell, Thor used his warrior’s instinct to pin Loki under him and looked into his terrified face.

“Ssh, relax” Thor ran a hand over Loki’s head and made him lie flat on the furs “don’t move”

But Loki didn’t listen, he bucked, trying to get Thor off him and froze when he felt Thor’s hand _there_.

“Thor!” Loki gasped, the first time he had called his name and pushed at him as he felt Thor’s hand caress him from over his clothing.

“Easy, Loki” Thor said, kneading Loki “this will get better”

It scared Loki because it _was_ getting better. He wanted Thor to take his hand away because he wanted him to press down harder.

“Thor!” Loki shoved at him again, thrashing to try and get out from under him but Thor was too heavy and Loki sobbed when he didn’t even budge.

Thor hummed and lowered his head, licking and kissing a mark at Loki’s throat, running the flesh between his teeth and sucking on it despite the fact that Loki was shoving at him.

It was working and Thor began to feel Loki getting aroused and chuckled, running his lips from his neck to whisper in his ear.

“You like this, don’t you?” 

Tears fell from his eyes and Loki turned his head aside, closing his eyes.

They flashed open a moment later when he saw a large golden bowl right within his reach. As Thor sent shudders through him, Loki stretched out an arm and grabbed it, wielding it like a weapon.

“Thor”

Thor looked up, drunkenly.

He gasped when something hard and metal hit him right in the face and sent him sprawling to the side, allowing Loki to scramble to his feet.

Thor cried out in pain, hand to the side of his face as he sat on his knees and looked up.

Loki swung out again, hitting him once more and sent him spinning to the ground, falling with a loud thump.

He held the bowl aloft, panting, waiting for Thor to get up again.

When Thor didn’t move, Loki was taken under another worry. Gulping and holding the bowl in case he needed it again, Loki crouched next to Thor, looking to see if he was dead or not.

He leaned in close, raised a hand to brush his hair off his face, eyes large.

Thor opened his eyes.

The hollow echo of metal hitting flesh wafted outside Thor’s tent and faded into the night.

***

Balder stared at his brother with a mix of suspicion, affection and guilt.

Thor sat on his divan, head in his hands and groaning in his misery.

Balder licked his lips before speaking “Um, you fell?”

“Aye” Thor growled, daring him to ask against the theory of what happened to his face.

“And did the floor hit you in the face?” Balder asked, smiling “repeatedly?”

Thor gave him a glare from between his gold locks but said nothing else.

Balder came here for to apologize for last night, but when he saw Thor’s battered face, he had gone into shock. After the initial anger, Balder’s desire to exact revenge and Thor’s insufferable need to _not tell him what happened_ , Balder had threatened to lash every soldier in their army until he found who had done this and that was when Thor told him he had slipped in his drunken state and fallen.

Balder, who had been standing in his rage, stared at him and begged his pardon.

Because falling, even if one fell on their face, doesn’t split your lips open, leave a dark purple bruise on your forehead, give you a black eye and a swollen cheek.

This was something else and the fact that Thor was hiding it from him, really worried Balder.

“Thor, what really happened?” Balder had asked.

Thor didn’t reply, because at the moment, Loki deemed himself worthy to greet the morning light and sat up within his furs.

He looked so adorable, ruffled from sleep and dewy eyed, that he didn’t notice the tunic slip off his shoulder.

But Balder did and he saw the mark on his neck that hadn’t been there last night.

And unwilling smirk had settled on his lips and widened into a grin when he saw Thor glaring at Loki as the other fixed his hair and got out of bed, not giving either of them a glance until he came back a while later and nodded to them.

Now, Balder looked at Thor and studied the injuries on his face. 

Loki, who had been sent to get him some ice, came back and spotted Balder studying the marks, his face far too innocent.

Balder slit his gaze as Loki walked in, a perfectly humble servant, and placed a thick wad of ice packed into a small sack into Thor’s awaiting hand.

Thor sighed as he placed it over his head then lay back and rested the cool compress against his face.

Balder turned to Loki, who looked at the ground, hands tied before him.

“Did you see what happened to him?” Balder asked

“He fell” Loki said flatly “On his face”

Balder shook his head at these two before he got up and left; he had an army to get to. He gave Thor one last glance, then one to Loki before he left and let the flap fall shut behind him.

“I don’t know how” Thor groaned “or why … but thank you for not telling him what I did. I feel like a bastard”

Loki smirked a little and looked down.

“You should hit me again” Thor muttered and closed his eyes, placing the pack over his face more firmly.

Loki knew he was talking to himself, but somehow, it was funny.

He allowed himself a small chuckle of pride before going outside and leaving Thor alone in his misery.

This was the first time he had _hit_ someone and it was strangely exciting.

However, at the heels of that came a thought that chilled him to the bone.

He had dodged a terrible thing last night and he only wondered when the next attack would come.

Because Thor had proved himself to be capable of physically forcing Loki into something and he didn’t cherish the feeling it brought. He had felt helpless, terrified and had that bowl not been where it was,

Thor would have…

Loki let that thought go. And he thought about ways to prevent this sort of thing happening again.

Loki had never been touched before; if his brother had done one thing right, it was to keep Loki from physical violence. Apart from Byleistr’s own rage where he _once_ beat him and Farbauti’s insistent touching, Loki had no experience in this.

It scared him, being so intimate. He wasn’t like this. he preferred his books and his magic to such things because they were easier.

Intimacy was something terrifying to him because it meant leaving yourself open and vulnerable to someone else and if there was one thing Loki knew with absolute certainty, it was that no one was worth the trust and power one was supposed to give while having sex.

No one.

“Loki!”

Loki turned to see Fandral gesturing to him, asking him to come over and help him with something.

Normally, Loki would ignored him, but right now, he felt the need to _do_ something to stop himself from thinking. So he nodded and trudged over, crushing snow under his feet as he neared Fandral.

And immediately made disgusted noises and cringed when he saw Fandral wanted him to move his latest kill.

“Loki” Fandral whined “Come on, just grab that leg”

“No” Loki told him “It’s disgusting, I …”

Loki squealed and spun in disgusted circles when Fandral extended a bloody hand to annoy him.

He laughed when he saw Loki’s disgust and temporarily abandoned his task in favor of tormenting Loki.

“You don’t like this?” he grinned, chuckling

“Don’t you dare come to me…!” Loki turned and leapt aside, running away.

“Loki!” Fandral called doubled over in laughter “I was joking, come back!”

“Go to hell!” Loki called from a few yards away, but came back nonetheless “I will help you if you give me that cloak you are wearing”

Fandral blinked and looked at his grey, fur lined cape “This?”

“Aye” Loki said, crossing his arms

“Why do you want it?” Fandral asked

Loki shrugged “Get someone else to help you then”

Loki spun on his heel and turned to leave.

“Alright” Fandral said “You can have it. But take it off yourself, my hands are bloody”

Loki inclined his head and came forward, grabbing the disgusting animal by the leg and dragging it to where a few soldiers would skin and cut it.

Loki looked at his bloody hands and grimaced before eyeing the apron the soldiers would wear and rubbing his hands somewhat clean.

“There” Fandral set the leg he held down and straightened “Thank you”

Loki raised a brow and pointedly looked at Fandral’s cape.

Fandral gave a dramatic sigh before turning around, presenting Loki with his sacrifice.

“Go ahead!” he gasped exaggeratedly “take it away, I can’t watch!”

Loki shook his head and walked over behind him, taking the cloak off and folding it over his arm.

Fandral gave a loud sob and pretended to swoon in the snow. 

Soldiers chuckled at him and shook their heads while Loki admired his new gift. He felt the soft fur against his hand before he put it across his shoulders and instantly felt warmth against him.

“Take care of it” Fandral said, rising temporarily from his swoon “my father gave it to me”

Loki looked up, his face stunned “What?”

Fandral sat up in the snow, locking his arms around his raised knees and looked up at him “Aye, my Father. He gave that to me a few years before he passed. So cherish it”

Loki blinked, his face looking devastated “I…”

He pulled it off quickly and carefully “I’m sorry, I … I didn’t know”

Fandral frowned and stood “What…?”

Loki held out the folded garment to him “Here, I … I don’t want it”

“But you …”

Loki cut him off by placing the cloak in his arms and turning to leave, he ran when Fandral called him and went to the safest place he knew of.

The horses nickered happily when he entered and snorted in confusion when he ran to the farthest corner, almost crashing there in his haste to get privacy.

Loki sat on his knees, curled over with his hands on his stomach as it twisted inside him, making his vision blur with tears.

His father… Loki almost sobbed. His wonderful father, taken from him so cruelly, shattering him to pieces and leaving him here.

Loki had begged for him to stay, then begged him to take him as well because he wouldn’t have been able to live here without him.

But Laufey had merely smiled, told Loki to sleep. And Loki had obeyed, crying the whole time. When he awoke …

His father was gone and Loki broke.

He missed him so badly that it had become a physical pain.

He gasped, refusing to cry even as he bent so low his hair touched the ground. Not now, he would not show them weakness even if it was _killing_ him.

He couldn’t allow this to happen, not here. Not here.

So Loki, still kneeling, took a deep breath and closed his eyes, trying to calm himself enough to at least to show his face to them. He forced himself to relax and sat up, wiping at his eyes before looking up at the horse beside him.

Angus snorted and reached down to tug at his hair. Loki smirked and rested a hand over his muzzle before he pulled it back when the animal liked it.

“You are disgusting” Loki muttered, standing and wiping his hand on Angus’ rear.

“Loki?”

Loki startled, looking up at when he heard Balder enter the tent. He searched for reasons Balder could be here but found none and relaxed a little.

“Prince”

Balder smiled at him “Would you mind preparing Thor’s horse for me? I wish to ride out for an hour or so”

Loki nodded and went to lift a saddle off the hook while Balder played with a horse.

It was the small things that Loki noticed. How a prince with everything treated a servant; politely, but with a distance that reminded them both of their places and kept them there firmly.

He went over to Thor’s horse, clicking his tongue to make it look over. It was, obviously, the largest of them all, the white steed that had promised Loki protection, and it liked him.

It pulled back its ears and gave Loki a snort before obediently taking a step towards him, where he was hindered by the ropes keeping him in his stall, and burred at him.

Loki chuckled and laughed when the horse stuck its nose in Loki’s pocket to check for treats.

“Nothing for you this time” Loki told it and went over the ropes to put on the saddle.

He placed it on the horse, and raised his eyes to watch Balder as he pet a smaller horse, nudging it and letting it sniff about him before he got it oats and held it out to him. Loki smirked when Balder pulled them out of his reach and was rewarded with the horse trying to bite him.

Thor’s horse grunted and moved its head back, shoving Loki into action.

“Sorry” Loki muttered and went back to work while the animal waited patiently.

When he was done and the reins were in place, Loki led the horse out and handed the reins to Balder.

The horse, clearly offended, nudged Loki and stomped its foot.

“There, there, Erik” Balder said, running his hand over the horse’s mane “be nice”

Loki didn’t know this horse’s name and had this information made him smile.

“Erik” he said

Balder looked at him “Aye, Thor named his horses after friends of his. He has another named Stark and a colt named Hulk. I do not know why”

Loki smiled softly and nodded, ready to leave.

His exit was halted when Erik stretched his neck and grabbed the hem of Loki’s tunic. He tugged back, wanting him to stay.

Chuckling, Loki shook his head “Sorry, my friend, I cannot ride you”

He tried to pull his clothes away but Erik grunted and pulled him back.

“Erik!” Loki said, feeling a little uneasy with Balder watching this.

He didn’t mind what Erik was doing, but in front of Balder it seemed like he was vulnerable.

“It seems he is rather adamant” Balder chuckled “Let me”

Balder leaned over pulled Loki’s tunic out of the horse’s mouth and Loki stumbled back, flushing at the close proximity he had been granted by Balder’s help.

Erik stomped his foot and looked at Loki, wanting him along.

Balder was stunned “It’s a marvel that he has taken to you so well”

Loki shrugged and turned, once more, to leave.

“Perhaps you should accompany us”

Loki stilled.

“Erik clearly wants it” Balder said, turning a little red

The horse neighed in approval when Loki looked back. 

“I …”

“Come on” Balder said, waving an arm at him “Or I am afraid he will follow you everywhere”

Erik cocked his head and looked at him.

Loki wanted to punch that horse, but he wanted to ride him just as much, so he nodded and came over, resting his foot on the stirrup and climbing up, almost hitting Erik when he neighed happily, even trotted where he stood a little.

Balder laughed “I have never seen him do that before”

Loki didn’t reply; he was feeling far too flattered by the horse. He ran his hand over Erik’s neck then froze when he felt Balder jump up behind him.

“What are you…?” Loki gasped, looking at the man behind him

Balder frowned “Going riding”

“But…”

“Hold on” Balder warned.

Erik tore through the exit, leaping over a shrub and galloping through the camp, startling everyone and making Aesir jump out of his way as he bolted through, moving so fast Loki could barely see where he was going and lowered his head to avoid branches or something that could hit him in the face. His hands tightened on the saddle and he closed his eyes.

He heard Erik nicker happily.

***  

Thor groaned and decided on looking for his healing stones because his face hurt too much.

That was probably the most stupid thing he had ever done in his life. 

Thor was a warrior and a fighter. He had won more wars than he could count, so he knew the dynamics of war and what happens to those caught during battles.

It was something Thor truly detested, because rape was never okay. It wasn’t okay when his ancestors did it and it wasn’t okay when his men did.

So he had a strict policy. A death penalty for any of his men that tried something like that.

He executed it only once for his men to get the message and now they behaved.

He followed it severely, and everyone knew it. So, when he himself almost did that to Loki, he hated himself. He hated the drunk barbarian he had become and he hated seeing that look on Loki’s face, that terror.

True, he found the boy attractive and he intended on having him, but he would have Loki willing or not at all.

Clearly Loki was shy about this but Thor intended to break through the shyness and let Loki experience the pleasure of the boudoir, as Fandral put it.

But right now, he needed to feel his face in something other than pain, so he went to open his chest.

He opened the wrong one in distraction and was about to let it fall shut when he noticed a familiar gold box sitting there. He didn’t know why he brought it, it would serve no purpose, but he couldn’t leave it behind.

It had been Jane’s design and he cherished it so deeply, thinking this was one of the last things she had touched when she had been alive.

He remembered it clearly, her dainty hands lifting his crown and placing it on his head before looking at him in wonder and shaking her head. 

She had been as mesmerized as he and had Balder not arrived, asking to escort Lady Jane back home, _both_ of them would have been doing something other than being mesmerized.

He smiled a little now, sad at the memory before he shook it off. Nothing came from inducing pain upon himself like this.

So he sighed, took out his healing stones and prepared to look for Loki when he was done.

He was highly disappointed to learn that Loki had been seen galloping away on a horse.

With Balder.

***

Loki jumped off the jagged rock he had climbed upon, landing in the snow and sending up dusts and flecks of ice, letting them fall like magic around them. His face relaxed into a smile and he chuckled as a few landed on his nose before trotting over to another, higher rock and doing the same.

Erik watched him carefully, his eyes following every movement Loki made and his tail flicking when Loki went out of view.

Occasionally, Loki would hide, prompting the horse to come over in a slow gait and look for him. when he found Loki, he would nuzzle his hand and go back to his place and wait for Loki to do it again.

Now, Loki jumped off, landing in a crouch and looked at his playmate.

He clicked his tongue to get Erik’s attention before he sprinted over to the nearest rock and his behind it.

Erik burred and gave a neigh before trotting over. The horse gave a startled snort when he found nothing beyond the rock and took a step forward, circling it as he looked for Loki. 

Loki sat perched atop the rock and looked down at his playmate, a smile on his face. When Erik seemed lost, Loki suddenly jumped down before him.

“Ya!” he yelled.

Erik neighed loudly, turned around and ran, letting Loki chase him in the snow, making loud roaring noises.

Erik suddenly stopped and let out a satisfied snort when Loki crashed into his rear and fell into the snow with a thud.

He turned back and looked at him.

“Idiot” Loki muttered as he lay flat on his back, arms spread.

From the distance, leaning against a tree, Balder watched.

There was no smile on his face, but there was something there. His eyes followed Loki as he played with Thor’s horse and something stirred in him.

At the camp, Loki was scared and cautious, here he was carefree and playful.

And Balder found that mesmerizing.

When Loki hit the horse’s rump and fell back, Balder chuckled.

How he would love seeing that look on Loki’s face aimed at him. All he saw was suspicion and though it was endearing, Balder wanted to see something else.

As he watched Loki get up and play, his mind went to the first time he had seen Loki and how the boy had managed to save him.

**Then**

The door opened behind him and this boy stood looking down at him as Balder lay groaning in the room he was thrown into.

“Sorry” he said, sounding the exact opposite “I had a guest and he doesn’t like Aesir”

Balder groaned and lay on his side “I wonder why”

The boy rolled his eyes and came over, letting Balder place and arm around his shoulders and lift him up.

They hobbled to his living room again and Balder was set down before the fire, giving a grateful sigh as he slumped low, flinching and gasping in pain.

Loki watched him carefully, arms crossed, taking in evidence of his pain.

“You will swear to leave if I heal you” Loki said “and not harm me”

Balder groaned, going pale “I swear”

Loki didn’t seem to believe him.

“Boy, if I wanted to kill you” Balder told him “a broken leg wouldn’t have stopped me”

Loki tried not to shudder and went to where he kept his book of healing magic. He had never tried it before, apart from a few scrapes, so this was to be his project.

“Know that I can easily reverse it” Loki lied as he came back, book in hand “and leave you in worse pain that before”

“Aye” Balder rasped and closed his eyes.

Loki nodded, came to sit at his feet and opened his book.

Balder watched him with half lidded eyes, concentrating on keeping awake rather than passing out from the pain. Loki’s mouth moved as he talked to his spells and Balder watched as tendrils of nothing but glittering dust came into thin air before wrapping around his leg.

Instantly, the pain receded as relief was pressed down upon him and Balder sighed, closing his eyes and relaxing. When Loki moved to his other, bleeding wounds, Balder did the same, slouching low in the seat.

He didn’t know when he’d fallen asleep, but the next thing he was aware of was two large eyes looking into his.

Balder gave startled yell and Loki jumped back, falling flat on his rear and staring up at him in bewilderment.

Then Balder chuckled as he recalled where he was and what happened.

“Forgive me, my friend” Balder said, standing up “I…”

He broke off, looking down at his legs and feet when no pain assailed him. his blue gaze went from his knees to his legs, the one that had been unable to move because it was broken, then it looked to his other injuries, the ribs, the cuts, the wounds; everything was healed.

He turned his gaze to Loki in wonder and stared.

Loki flinched when Balder grabbed his arm and hoisted him up.

“No, please…!” Loki yelled, only to be stunned a moment later when Balder held his hand to his heart.

“I said I would not hurt you” Balder told him, grabbing his hand in both of his “and now I find myself in your debt”

Loki watched, blushing a bright red when Balder raised his hands to his lips in a show of gratitude

“Will I not know the name of my savior?”

Loki’s eyes widened and he stepped back, alarm on his face.

No, he wouldn’t give this man his identity. He shook his head, snatching his hands to his chest.

“No” Loki managed “leave”

Balder, whose expression had turned surprised, relaxed into a smile and bowed “As you wish. But know, my nameless friend, helping a Prince of Asgard is not something I will forget easily”

Loki nodded and went to the door to open. He gestured to it.

He wanted Balder to leave _now_ before his brother returned.

“Out” he gestured to the door, before his eyes went to the kitchen “take something, though”

A moment later, Loki snapped his jaws shut, wondering what made him say that.

But Balder didn’t comment and bowed in gratitude before him and went to the kitchen to rummage. He found dried meats and bread and cheese and he showed them to Loki before he went to the door.

Outside, he turned “You know, I …”

Loki slammed the door shut, bolting it from the inside.

Balder smiled, chuckled and shook his head before he walked off.

He was halfway through the forest when he saw the Bifrost light up and smiled when he saw his shining beacon of hope.

And before he reached his brother, before Thor had his arms around him, begging for forgiveness, before Balder embraced him back, letting Thor’s sobs soak his clothes, Balder had been thinking of one thing and one thing alone.

His savior.

**Now**

Balder smiled, taken out of that memory when Erik neighed loudly.

It had been one of the sweeter memories for him, one that he kept to himself. Loki had been …

Balder took a long sigh and looked up, hoping to see him in all his sublime beauty, prancing about with Erik.

His smile vanished when he saw Erik tied to a tree and Loki nowhere in sight.

***

Loki was panting as he ran, his breath ragged and broken as his feet carried him through the snow and ice.

Ahead of him were trees, beside him, thicker tree and behind him…

Loki hadn’t dared to look behind him yet. He was sure he would fall down, energy forgotten.

He winced when he almost tripped over a root and resumed his panicked running, whipping his hair back, making his eyes water. He didn’t care, he didn’t wipe them away, this was a familiar place and he would eventually find his way home.

His tunic caught in a branch and Loki was forced to a stop, gasping when he was yanked back before he turned to glare at the offending thing and yank his borrowed tunic out, tearing it.

“Loki!”

Loki lost all color in his face when he looked up and saw Balder racing towards him as Erik galloped forth, a terrifying wraith.

Loki yelled and turned to his side to run into the trees.

Erik didn’t hesitate a moment before he followed, galloping so fast and so perfectly, all Balder had to do was hold on as he chased Loki. 

There was not a chance for him to escape, but Loki was panicked and desperate so he was fast, he knew his energy would run out but for now, nothing mattered other than escaping this Aesir.

“Stop!”

He heard the thundering footfalls behind him getting closer and closer and Loki willed himself to go faster, to sprint faster but it was no use.

Loki screamed when something huge and heavy collided with him from behind, sending him falling face first into the snow and ice below.

“No!” Loki yelled, struggling to get out from under Balder’s weight, clawing at the snow in his bid to escape “Please, no!”

“Calm down!” Balder sat on his knees and grabbed Loki’s shoulders, trying to turn him around “Loki, stop!”

“Let me go!” Loki shouted back, bucking and kicking, trying to shove this man off and wailing when Balder grabbed his hands and forced them to cross over his chest “Balder, please, remember you owe me! I call upon my debt now, I …”

“Enough!” Balder growled, looking down at him “that is enough!”

Loki gasped and shut his eyes, turning his head aside as he willed himself to calm. He was shivering badly and he dragged his heels on the ground in despair.

“Loki” Balder said, his gaze anguished “I can’t …”

“Get off” Loki whispered “please, get off me”

Balder’s mouth tightened “In a moment”

Loki gasped and looked back, whimpering when Balder extracted a thick rope.

“No…” Loki whined, struggling again, trying to pull himself away “Please”

“I’m sorry” Balder said before he tied his hands together tightly “but I cannot lose you without raising suspicions”

Loki wasn’t listening. He had gone limp, head turned away as Balder bound him. His lip quivered and he let out a sharp cry when Balder got off him and hauled him to his feet.

He pulled at his hands again, yanking them back desperately and Balder held on, watching him silently, his face flat. 

Loki whimpered pleadings and kept pulling until his efforts became weaker and weaker.

Then he gave a broken sob and fell on his knees, hands raised above his head as Balder held them in the ropes. He lowered his head in defeat and wept very, very softly.

Balder stood patiently until Loki was gone, his heart almost weighing him down.

“I’m sorry” Balder whispered “I’m sorry”

***

Thor looked up, the candle light shining on his perfectly healed face, when the flap to his tent was pushed aside and Loki was brought in by Balder.

Thor raised his brows at the rope that bound Loki’s hands before him and the defeated expression on the boy’s face.

“What happened?” Thor stood from where he sat, going through orders his father had just given him.

Balder sighed “He tried to escape – again. I should have known better”

He gently nudged Loki forward and the boy stumbled ahead, not lifting his head or his gaze.

“He …” Balder bit his lips “he didn’t take it well”

Thor looked at Loki, then his brother “Where did you take him?”

“Erik did” Balder gave him a small smile “The horse is half in love with him”

Thor chuckled and shook his head, looking to where Loki just – stood.

He _looked_ broken. He just stood, hands tied before him, eyes fixed on a single spot on the ground, breathing evenly.

“What did you do to him?” Thor asked, looking back at Balder.

Balder took a deep breath and his eyes filled with regret.

“I made him come back” Balder said

Thor’s expression softened and he nodded to Balder “I see”

Balder rested a hand over Thor’s head before he kissed his forehead.

“Good night, brother”

“Good night” Thor latched the flap shut when Balder left and turned to Loki.

The man was still as death, just staring.

Thor sighed and walked over with a knife. Loki didn’t move when he came to stand before him and Thor frowned before resting a hand gently under his chin and tipping his head up.

Two, large green eyes looked at him and Thor gave him a small smile.

He received no reply, so he began to cut Loki’s ropes until he was freed and stepped back.

Loki looked around as he rubbed his wrists, taking in everything other than Thor.

He was back.

That hurt him more than Balder’s broken vow.

“Food”

Loki looked up to see Thor point to a platter and look at him.

Loki’s stomach grumbled and he walked over, still dazed, and began to eat.

Thor went back to work, trying to write out and memorize all his father wanted him to, but he kept thinking of ways to cheer Loki up.

The answer came to him out of the blue and he chuckled.

He waited till Loki was done and wiped his hands and mouth before he stood.

Instantly, Loki tensed.

Smiling, Thor looked to a certain, dented golden bowl then back at Loki.

He stepped forward.

In a flash, Loki was running, going to the bowl and hoisted it up high, scowling at Thor in warning.

Thor chuckled, then laughed when Loki lifted it higher, taking a step closer to Thor as a threat. When Thor laughed louder and raised his hands, Loki blinked.

He didn’t release his bowl, though.

“I see” Thor said, chuckling and stepping back “Glad you gave me a laugh”

Loki watched him in confusion as he simply went back to work. He waited a few moments before lowering his hands, ready to raise them in case Thor tried something.

But the man seemed contented where he was, though he kept giving Loki small glances.

When he was sure, Loki placed the bowl on the nearest flat surface and went to fix his furs. He had a long day and this was something he craved.

When he was done, he slid in and rested a hand under his head, closing his eyes.

He lay for a long time in the dim light and dozed off, not really sleeping.

He was thinking of snow and characters in a book he had been reading before his capture when he heard shuffling nearby. 

A sharp whistle made him open his eyes and he saw Thor standing above him.

For a moment, he panicked, then he saw Thor holding the bowl out to him. Reaching up uncertainly, Loki took it from him and Thor turned back without a word before he went to crash onto his bed with a muttered goodnight.

It was when Loki was about to sleep when he noticed the empty bottle of ale beside the table Thor had been reading at.

Without his knowledge, a smile crept over his face and he hugged the bowl, his insurance against Thor, tightly and drifted off to sleep, vowing to make Thor’s life a little difficult tomorrow.

Just because he could.


	5. Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki escapes.... It doesnt end well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I dedicate this chapter to the amazing http://angrboda-the-witch.tumblr.com
> 
> because ... http://angrboda-the-witch.tumblr.com/post/56824372813/balder-and-loki-inspired-by-this-fanfic-which-is
> 
> She's amazing

If he was a lesser man, Thor would have snapped Loki in two the first time he did this.

He _knew_ the little menace had done this deliberately but there was just no _proof_ of it!

Just like he had known it was Loki that had burnt his part of the boar, just like he knew it was Loki that had ‘accidentally’ placed swords under his covers, just like he knew it was Loki that had torched his cape when he had been deep in concentration over maps of Jotunhiem.

And just like those times, he had no damned _proof_ other than a series of events.

Loki was making a fool out of him before his entire army. They laughed and him, mocked him behind his back and Thor _heard_ them whisper about how he couldn’t even control his own servant. 

He had borne it well this past week, taken the tricks as outlets of Loki’s helplessness and misery and controlled the desire to throw him into the lake again.

But this went too far. This was personal, because _this_ was something Thor had been talking about to Balder, thanking him again and again and telling him how much this meant to him.

So he stared, still in slight disbelief, at the sight before him.

His daggers, his beautiful daggers, given to him by Balder on his twentieth year celebrations, lay broken in _half_ , twisted with the jewels missing from the hilt.  How Loki had managed this, he didn’t know, but Thor was about to find out.

Enough was enough.

He spun around and strode out of the tent, his cape, blotched and discolored, soaring behind him.

Another mistake, where Loki ‘accidentally’ placed his cape in the fluids used to clean armor.

He pushed aside the flap and yelled “Loki!”

All work damned near stopped in the wake of their crowned prince’s wrath and the bets made around were discreetly handed about.

For Loki was becoming a little menace to Thor and it would only be a matter of time before the god of Thunder snapped – or snapped Loki.

Loki, involved innocently in roasting a large Jotun boar on an even larger spit with a few other soldiers, looked up, confusion all over his pale face.

It made a few men snigger and look away; for a Jotun, Loki was rather likeable to a few.

He made no noise – he never did unless he talked to someone who knew his language - but Thor saw him.

The golden prince strode over, thunder rumbling above, his gaze locked on his wayward _problem_.

“Come here” Thor rasped as he stood at the other end of the spit and pointed to the ground before him.

Concealing the shudder that always went through him when he thought Thor had had enough, Loki gave him a confused glance.

A snigger to his right, and a solder gently nudged him forward.

He stumbled a little, dusting ash off his shoulder, before giving the man behind him a solid glare. Then he moved to where Thor stood, almost red in the face.

Clearly, he’d seen his daggers.

When he was close enough, Thor grabbed his slender wrist and yanked him forward, striding back to his tent, letting Loki stumble over a few things on his way and ignoring the attempts he made to extract his wrist from his grasp.

They entered the tent and Thor threw Loki ahead, smirking sadistically when he hit the ground a little harder than he had intended. He pointed to his daggers.

Loki looked at them and smiled a little to himself before turning to Thor.

“How!?” Thor yelled.

Loki blinked, pretending to be intimidated because Thor always crumbled at that face, and looked about, trying to come up with a story that involved him _not_ telling the truth.

He didn’t want Thor to know how he had used his daggers on Thor’s hammer to see which would break first, then pocketed the fallen jewels for himself.

He made gestures, ones he knew would simply annoy Thor enough to make him give up, his face still worried.

And usually, it was at this point that Thor rolled his eyes or sighed or growled and left.

But not today.

Those were a gift from Balder. And Thor had loved them dearly. They had been one of a kind and their loss had hurt him deeply.

So, as Loki gestured to him, Thor turned and walked to the tent’s exit.

Loki’s smirk of victory dissolved the moment Thor latched the tent flap shut and turned back.

This time, Loki didn’t fake his fear and he didn’t fake his anxiety that went through him when Thor walked to his chest and lifted something from it.

Loki gasped in horror when he saw it was a thick leather strap, thicker than the one Thor had used to bind him more than a week ago.

He gave a sharp cry and shrank back, sliding away from Thor.

“Those were important to me, Loki” Thor said, coming over “very important. You need to learn to respect other people’s property”

Loki swallowed loudly, shaking his head and muttering soft words that Thor didn’t understand.

But Thor shook his head “Five lashes, Loki. For you to learn”  

Loki gave a sharp cry and curled up, protecting his face when he ran out of space and Thor cornered him.

“ _Thor_!” he begged

But it was too late.

The first cry made the soldiers around Thor’s tent look up, confused, the second, louder, made them gape.

At the third, a sob accompanied it and bets changed hands.

The fourth was a louder sob, accompanied by pleading words.

And the fifth was a near scream, followed by soft, soft weeping.

Then there was silence and everyone waited with held breath. Not even the horses seemed to be making any noise and, at the other end of the camp, Fandral watched carefully.

Loki had made himself a silent, though not unwelcome presence in the camp. He minded his own business, worked when he was asked to, ignored when he wanted to and willingly did _nothing_. The soldiers didn’t know what to do with him so they generally ignored him, let him move about and talked about him when he wasn’t around.

He spent his time with the horses, though. He cleaned them and fed them and took care of them without being asked, so the few stable lads that they had brought over had managed a sort of friendship with the strange half Jotun and others sometimes found him playing games with them. However, when he was spotted with a near smile on his face he always stopped. Then he went back to minding the horses or going to Thor’s tent to destroy his belongings.

Everyone knew what he did but no one told Thor – in their opinion, a little mischief went a long way in easing the tense environment of war around them.

Almost everyone jumped when the Thor’s tent flap opened.

They pretended to work when Loki stumbled out, brushing his hair back and wiping his eyes. He limped a little before stepping away from Thor’s tent.

When Thor emerged a few minutes later, they dropped the pretense and actually went to work, in slight disbelief at what had just happened. 

They didn’t really think Thor would break. 

Loki must have done something unforgivable, _finally_ and upset their prince enough.

They saw Loki cringe and gasp when Thor grabbed his wrist and forced him to the other side, pointing to the direction of the forest, his face _furious_. Then he handed Loki a pair of scissors and shoved him forward, making him stumble.

The younger man wiped his tears again before he limped away, going to do what Thor had asked him to do, jogging as fast as he could in his current discomfort.

They didn’t speak when Thor strode away, ruined cape billowing behind him, but they did laugh.

At Thor.

***

Balder had his hands splayed over the table as he looked upon the map of Jotunhiem. He knew where the castle was and he knew where most of Farbauti’s men chose to reside, but as the men he had sent came back with nothing, he got more and more agitated, wondering where the hell the fallen king went and where his heir could be hiding.

He exhaled loudly and ran his hands through his hair, straightening and rubbing the back of his neck. He closed his eyes and sighed, trying to get past the tiredness he felt; both mental and physical.

When he opened his eyes, his gaze roved the inside of his tent and he took in the high draped ceiling, one designed to keep the cold out and the heat in. He went over his weapons and the things he had brought along with him on this war.

And he longed desperately to go back home.

Back to Asgard, back to his mother and back to Idunn.

Idunn, the beautiful maiden that had always held his heart.

And at that thought, came guilt. Guilt about how he was being selfish at the moment.

True, it had been four or five weeks here, and most of their men were homesick, but this war was important to his brother.

Because he hadn’t yet found closure; he didn’t know who killed his beloved and he needed to find out.

Balder knew that if he only asked, Thor would never hold him back, but he didn’t want to. His brother was in pain and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

So Balder would simply shut up and…

Someone cleared their throat and Balder turned to see Loki standing at the entrance of his tent.

Balder tried not to let sympathy show on his face and smiled a little before nodding at him to enter.

He had heard about his lashing, everyone had at this point, and though he didn’t exactly approve of it, he didn’t really condemn it either.

Not completely, at least.

Loki was destroying Thor’s things on purpose and Balder found himself a little angry at the fact that he had destroyed one of Thor’s favorite things – one of the things Balder had been so proud of presenting Thor.

“How are you?” Balder asked.

Loki didn’t reply; he simply shrugged a shoulder and came in, borrowed boots making no sound on Balder’s furs.

He had something in his hand and extended it to Balder.

It was a scroll and Balder frowned as he picked it up.

It was from Odin. He wanted both his sons to meet him in his tent right away.

Balder nodded “Alright”

Loki stepped back when Balder moved and rolled up the map. He watched as Balder placed it in a bin on the side, along with other maps and papers of import before turning to a low cabinet on the side. He pulled a key out from his pocket and opened it.

Then he suddenly paused and looked over his shoulder at Loki.

“You may leave”

Loki blinked as being dismissed before he nodded and walked backwards, keeping an eye on what Balder was hiding.

But he didn’t get to see it and he ran out of choices when he exited the tent and walked over to whatever else these stupid people wanted him to do.

He had taken a few steps before someone called to him. He turned, green eyes searching, and spotted two soldiers, waving to get his attention.

When they saw him watching, one of them turned and the other pretended to hit him in the rump with his riding crop.

Loki took a short breath, pain on his features before looking away and walking forward, an angry flush to his cheeks.

Behind him, he heard laughter.

They were laughing at him.

***

Thor entered Odin’s tent as though he owned it.

It was a natural thing for him and Odin had long since stopped calling him on it. Thor carried arrogance like it was meant for him; it suited him. Like the aura of static around him, it made Thor who he was.

It wasn’t that he was a lesser being without it, it was just – there.

Like his thunder.

Thunder that suddenly rumbled in Thor’s surprise when he saw Odin packing up.

“What…?” Thor asked, walking over “what are you doing?”

Odin looked up at him, smiling “Thor, child, how are you?”

“Well enough,” Thor looked at and ignored the servants that rolled Odin’s furs off the floor and took down his curtains or lifted his heavy chests to take away “What is happening?”

Odin sighed and nodded to Balder when he came in.

“My sleep is near again” Odin said “I feel tired and exhausted and if it comes upon me while I am here, it might prove disastrous”

Thor, who had opened his mouth to argue, closed it and nodded “I see”

Odin chuckled and came over to squeeze his shoulder “Come now, it almost looks like you don’t want me to go”

Thor scoffed “Please, the sooner I get away from you, the better. In fact, I hope to come back while you are sleeping so that I may shave that ugly beard off your face”

Odin rolled his eyes and walked over to kiss Thor’s forehead “Come up with better threats, my stupid child”

Then he went to Balder “Mind this one, yes? I fear he will run away with the crown while I am under”

“Immediately after your fall, fat old man” Thor said, going to lift his father’s favorite chest on his shoulders “Where do I place this?”

“At the foot of the cart, dear boy” Odin chuckled and brought Balder down to kiss his head.

When Thor left, Odin looked at his eldest 

“I want you to keep an eye on that Loki boy” Odin told him “he is not what he appears to be”

Balder frowned “What?”

“They never are” Odin said before stepping back “now, I trust you enough to come back with at least one royal, boys. A ransom is never a nice thing to ask for, but it is useful”

Balder chuckled “Aye, old man”

Balder followed his father as he left the tent, leaving the helpers to their work of putting all their things in a large cart for their father.

Thor placed the trunk he had in, then placed a hand over his heart, bowing to Odin as he stood beside the carriage. Balder did the same and soon, the entire Aesir army was kneeling before the king, his heads lowered and their hands fisted over their chests in a sign of respect for their king.

The only figure that remained upright was Loki. He simply had his arms crossed over his chest as he watched impassively. 

Odin got on the carriage and it took him back.

Back from the homes he’d destroyed, from the live he had ruined. 

Loki’s lips twisted in mild disgust as the king left the army behind, to go back to his home.

As the army got back on its feet, Loki caught sight of a few men staring at him.

They pointed to him and laughed behind their hands, talking to themselves about his humiliation.

And just as he watched, a mirth began to gather over the group and soon half the Aesir army was talking about him, pointing to him.

***

Loki sat with his arms around his raised knees, his face hidden as he remained in isolation.

That was the most humiliating thing that had ever happened to him. And in front of his enemy, no less.

He had _never_ been struck, save that one time Byleistr hit him in his rage, and never at such a sensitive part of him.

His rear still hurt and he could feel the bruises Thor’s anger had placed there.

Loki wasn’t stupid, he knew Thor was going to snap and lose control, he just didn’t think he would do something like _this_.

He bit his lip and leaned back against the half sleeping horse he was currently using as a couch. The animal gave a slightly annoyed snort before reaching back and nipping at Loki’s hair.

Loki sniffed and lifted his head to look at him.

“What do you want?” he asked in the All Speak.

The horse simply neighed and laid its head down again, offended.

Loki placed his cheek on his arm and watched the edges of this tent flap in the Jotun wind.

Sometimes, cool air would touch him, but the clothes Thor had given him kept it at bay. They were much better than the ridiculous robes he used to wear – warmer too.

He thought about stealing a few when he eventually managed an escape – sometime around the departure of these idiots. For there would be chaos then and he could easily run then, without being the center of attention of want for any of them.

Footsteps sounded outside and Loki looked up to see Thor arrive.

Instantly, Loki tensed and averted his gaze.

Thor sighed and walked closer. He didn’t know Loki was here, otherwise he would have chosen another time to take his horse, but going back would seem cowardly now, and his men were already laughing at him enough.

So he walked over, completely ignoring Loki, and went to the powerful, muscled horse at the end of the tent.

Erik lifted his head the moment Thor arrived and whipped his tail in greeting.

Thor grinned at him “There you are, Erik, did you miss me?”

Loki tried to ignore him, but that coo and those loving words made him shiver in a way he didn’t think he wanted to categorize.

“Sorry, I left you for so long” Thor went on behind him “but I haven’t exactly been in the best of moods”

Erik nickered, masking Loki’s scoff.

“Aye” Thor chuckled when his horse grabbed a strand of his hair and pulled affectionately “I talk too much. Come along, then, I have much to tell you”

Loki ignored him as he sat upon his saddle and left, the hooves of his horse beating loudly in his wake.

In the back of his mind, Loki thought he had missed something crucial, but right now, because of his pain and humiliation, he couldn’t care less.

He stood gingerly before limping a little and walked out of the horse’s tent.

***

The day he spent either in Thor’s tent or exploring the campsite.

He had discovered that a few men kept their valuables in places he could easily get to and he wanted to see if there was anything worth stealing. He trudged forward in the snow, his over sized tunic and trousers billowing in the wind and his borrowed boots making crunching noises as he stepped on it.

His green eyes went over the activity of the people that had raided his land as he walked about. From here, when they weren’t destroying or killing, they actually looked _normal_ , nothing like the monsters Byleistr told him about.

He shook his head, trying to ignore that thought, because they _were_ monsters and that _weren’t_ normal.

His wanderings took him to the edge of the camp, where he saw the medical tent and the one where they kept their supplies. Both of them were guarded by men and Loki had the urge to sneak in and see what it was that was so important.

But the guards saw him and shooed him off, threatening to whip him again if he came close.

They laughed again and Loki wanted to hit them.

He turned and went back in search of the valuables he had originally come for.

He found the edge of one tent swollen and lifted at the edge, something golden shining at the small gap between earth and cloth. He looked around, found an inconspicuous spot to crouch by and lifted the edge.

It was a pendant, and carved within the expensive gold was Laufey’s name.

Loki’s mouth parted, his expression became pained when he recognized his father’s pendant, the one he used to wear when he had been king.

A supreme sense of loss came over him as he plucked it off the ground and lifted it, examining the chain for signs of breaks.

It was just as beautiful as he remembered and Loki’s brow crumpled as tears came to his eyes, his heart breaking all over again.

When he blinked, thick tears fell on the ground and the smallest sound escaped his lips.

He was shattering again.

So before he knew it, he wrapped the chain around the pendant and placed it in his pocket and ran to Thor’s tent. He latched the flap shut and ran to the corner of the room before lifting the pendant again and looking at it once more.

This time, a loud sob escaped him and he pressed the chain to his forehead, the pendant to his lips, and began to cry.

He didn’t hold back, but he did place the back of his hand over his mouth to stifle some sounds.

He cried at what he had lost and he cried as what was happening to him now.

He had lost _everything_ and gained nothing in return.

He wanted his father.

With a wracking sob, Loki kneeled, resting his head on the furs and crying into them as energy left him at the mercy of his sorrow.

And his sorrow held no mercy.

So he sobbed, and once more became the boy that had just been told he had lost his father in a tragic hunting accident.

***

He didn’t know he had fallen asleep.

But when Loki woke, he was still curled up on the furs where he had collapsed in grief and he still held the pendant tightly in his hands.

His eyes felt swollen and his face felt numb.

He sat up and felt a headache forming behind his eyes. He massaged his temples with one hand and closed his eyes, hoping to force it out.

But he hadn’t eaten all day and his recent emotional outburst had taken more than it had given him. He sniffed and touched his eyes, wincing when he they stung.

Voices sounded outside and Loki looked up, eyes rimmed red, realizing they were coming close.

He immediately donned the pendant, hid it under his robes, and stood.

He brushed himself down, touched his overheated face in hopes of cooling it, and went to unlatch the flap discreetly.

Outside, there was panic.

Men ran about, torches were raised and horns prepared and cleaned.

Above, on a foothill, Balder stood, fur lined cloak pulled up high as he barked orders, his own torch in hand and a sword at his waist.

A small army of thirty had gathered to one side and it was them that Balder addressed.

“Let not one of use rest until we find him!” Balder said “and when we do, I want the head of the one responsible for this!”

Loki frowned as the men hollered a response. 

In the distance, he saw the one called Fandral tying a length of rope around his hand, talking to the fat man called Volstagg.

Once more touching his face to cool it, hoping the dark hour would be in his favor, Loki walked forward, intending to ask what was wrong.

But Fandral looked at him and excused himself from Volstagg, jogging up and grabbing Loki’s arm, startling him.

“I think it would be wise if you remain out of sight for now” Fandral told him in his language

Loki felt his stomach drop “What? Why?”

Fandral looked behind him, then nodded to Thor’s tent. 

Loki, out of surprise rather than anything else, let himself be handled back in before staring at the man’s handsome face.

“Thor didn’t return from his ride today” Fandral said “but his horse did”

Loki lost all color from his face the moment he realized the one crucial thing he had recalled when Thor was leaving.

“Someone had cut his saddle strap” Fandral told him bluntly “and because of your penchant for mischief, there is a high chance that everyone blames you”

And Loki could only gape like a fish “What …?”

“Stay in here” Fandral released him and walked backwards “Latch the hook and _don’t_ open it for anyone unless it is either me or one of the royals. Thor has food enough here, eat. But don’t come out, understand?”

Loki nodded but didn’t move

“ _Now_!” Fandral barked “Latch it, now!”

Loki jerked and did as he was told.

He heard Fandral leave and he heard Balder yelling to his men, he heard the men answer back and he heard them move to their horses slowly, he heard their torches being lit up and he heard them leave.

But what he heard the loudest, was his own heart.

For he was the one who had cut the straps and when they found him …

Loki’s hand fisted on the pendant over his clothes.

He would be lucky just to have himself lashed.

His breathing became erratic as he thought about hos _stupid_ he was, because he _got_ what he wanted.  
He wanted to hurt Thor, for keeping him here as a prisoner.

He had done it before his lashing and now he knew what it would look like.

Retribution.

Loki had his petty revenge on the prince of Asgard and this just nothing was going to save him. They were not going to care that there was no proof, they were going to kill him without a thought because no one in their army would harm their prince. It had to be the Jotun.

It would be offensive – if it wasn’t true.     

Oh, how many times had Byleistr told him he was one to court his own death?

He should have listened.

Loki rubbed a hand over his face, trying to think of a way to get out of this.

But there was none – he couldn’t escape because they would catch him and his guilt would be solidified in their eyes. And he couldn’t hide – they would find him.

And they would make him pay.

Loki felt his knees become weak and stumbled over to the divan where he collapsed, losing all energy he had left in him.

He didn’t weep this time – he just froze.

He kept staring the ceiling, the drapes above him like a dead man – he probably was going to be one, he knew – and stopped all thought

He refused to think about _anything_ , so it was very difficult to ignore the two voices that spoke from the other side of the tent.

“Loki …”

His heart stopped and even thought he was already impossibly cold, Loki went colder in fear.

“You can come out now” the voice was almost singing and it sent chills up Loki’s spine “we wont hurt you”

“Much” another voice added

They didn’t know he understood them, that’s why they went on.

“Just a little”

“But I swear you will like it”

Loki gasped and placed a hand over his mouth to stop anymore noises from escaping.

“Oh come now, don’t be like that”

“You know we’ll have you any way”

“Why not make it easier on yourself?”

Loki shuddered in revulsion 

“Thor won’t take kindly to what you did”

“But he might just take our suggestion”

Loki closed his eyes, willing them to leave, but they just kept on talking and describing what they intended to do to him, not knowing that he understood every single word.

***

Balder was going to go insane.

He really thought he was.

There was a desperation inside him that was now boiling his blood, threatening to made his veins explode, threatening to claw its way out of his throat, threatening to kill him.

All of the night had passed and still they had to find Thor. 

Following the horse’s tracks had led them to _nothing_ and the only thing Balder had found, the only thing he had seen that was the closest to his brother had been blood.

Thor’s blood.

Big droplets of it, peppered on the snow, flecking a path for them until that, too stopped.

Winds howled now, as Jotunhiem started to repel them but Balder remained stubborn. He raised his torch higher and forced the men behind him to _keep on walking_ because he wasn’t going to lose his brother. 

The wind and soaring snow had long since hidden what prints Thor had left and Balder was sure they were all lost by now. His men were becoming tired and they felt vulnerable.

Tales of Jotuns killing and eating Aesir came back from their childhood to scare them so they remained close, kept their weapons ready for any movement could mean a Frost Giant.

Something crunched behind them and Balder spun around, a path cleared as his men did the same.

They turned back when it turned out to be nothing - _again_.  

He growled and trudged further ahead, raising his cloak to shield part of his face with one hand while the other held is torch aloft.

From behind, his men did the same.

Gusts of wind and hail assailed them and Balder _vowed_ to kill Loki if he was truly responsible for this.

And if he wasn’t, he was going to search out and find whoever it was that did this and hang them by their insides as a warning to one and all.

No one harmed his brother while he played his guardian – no one.

Once, long ago, when Balder was nineteen and Thor fifteen, Thor had managed to anger their father so much he had raised a hand to the blonde.

And Thor had frozen in shock, unable to move, as his father’s hand descended upon him. 

No one had expected Balder to intervene. No one expected him to grab Odin’s arm and halt him and glare at him enough to have the _All Father_ back down.

Balder didn’t say anything – his eyes had gone so cold even Odin felt a chill go through him.

In the end, he had nodded and let Balder take Thor away an unbelievable pride rising for his eldest even as his mouth tightened at his daring.

Now, that memory, Thor’s face when it was terrified went through his mind and Balder became even more determined to find his brother.

“Your Majesty!”

It was like a call from Valhalla.

Balder turned and saw a soldier pointing to the side where, hidden within so much snow it appeared to be nothing but pure white, lay the edge of a red, ruined cape.

“Thor!” Balder felt his heart stop.

He dropped his torch and ran forward, everything forgotten as he fell on his knees, digging desperately with his hands and nails, taking the snow off his precious brother. he clawed through it, his men shouting behind him, some helping while others opened the cot and brought out the furs they had brought with them.

Balder dug until he saw the golden hair, moving in the wind.

He almost stopped when he saw Thor’s almost grey skin and closed eyes.

“No!” Balder yelled at him “Don’t you dare do this to me, you idiot!”

He reached down and lifted Thor by the shoulders, wincing at how stiff he was.

 _Norns, he was going to kill tonight, he knew it_.

“Help me lift him up!” Balder yelled over the howling wind.

Fandral and another came over, helping Balder place their crowned prince on the cot they had and placing furs all over him.

They carried him back, uncaring of anything other than the need to get Thor back.

Balder didn’t even notice the winds slowing down, as if sensing his wrath.

***

The first of the shouts came at dawn.

And Loki, who lay asleep on Thor’s divan, sat up, looking about in confusion before he realized it.

His realization was enunciated by the loud shouts and cheers from outside.

They had found him.    

Loki listened with held breath, one hand fisted over his clothes, holding his father’s pendant tightly.

Balder was yelling at the men, ordering water to be heated, fires to be started. Thor was to be taken to the healing tent immediately. Then there were more shouts as his orders were obeyed.

Horses nickered somewhere, men shouted.

He heard Balder again, in the distance, but it was too soft to be heard.

Then he heard fire crackling, he heard men running about, yelling, talking, explaining.

The men who had gone with Balder on the search needed nourishment and those that remained here helped. Somewhere, he heard Fandral talking again.

Another shout; someone had spilled hot water and Balder was nearly hollering at him.

A few more shouts and orders, then relative silence.

Loki bit the back of his finger to keep himself from getting up and going to see what had happened.

Had Thor lived or had Loki killed him? What was to be _his_ fate?

He didn’t know, and Loki hated not knowing something.

Food was being passed around now and the men chatted while they ate.

Some were talking about the war being over, most talked about what was going to happen here next.

Nothing gave Loki any comfort.

He lay his head back down on the bed again, a migraine starting.

Two days he hadn’t eaten anything and it was making him sick.

Slowly, he raised his head and looked to where Thor kept the food stored away. His stomach grumbled loudly, sending a painful spasm through him and he curled up.

Loki took a deep breath and went forced himself to stand, placing a hand over his head when the world spun and stumbling a little.

Then, with more resolve, he went to the cabinet that held the food and opened it.

He found bread and cheese first and pulled it out, then looked around for a knife.

The moment he cut it and placed it on his tongue, he felt better and soon, more than half the bread and all of Loki’s headache was gone. He was reaching for the next slab of cheese when he was called again.

“Loki” Balder called through the tent “open the tent”

Loki’s knife fell with a soft thud on the floor and he turned to look at the flap as if it was an omen. His hand went to his pendant again and for a moment, he considered not even replying to Balder.

“I know you are awake,” Balder’s voice was like a death call to him now “so open this or I will”

Loki swallowed loudly before standing up and slowly, so slowly he was barely moving, walked to the flap.

But Balder wasn’t one to wait.

Just as Loki reached the middle of the tent, the sharp edge of a blade slipped in between the cloth and simply cut the latch free.

The flap was thrown open and Balder loomed.

***

Loki froze the moment Balder came in and stood in the middle of the room, staring at him in absolute terror.

His breath came out in soft, broken gasps as Balder advanced and he stepped back immediately, his voice lost.

“Tell me” Balder rasped as he closed the distance between them “Tell me you didn’t do it and I will not harm you, Loki”

Loki stopped when he felt the wall of the tent behind him; he was trapped again.

He swallowed and looked up at Balder, the man who had protected him not too long ago, when those Aesir barbarians wanted to harm him.

“Tell me!” Balder yelled, making Loki flinch “Tell me you didn’t just try and _kill_ my brother!”

Loki opened his mouth to lie and say he hadn’t done it, but Balder stared at him, his eyes so cold and terrifying, that the only thing Loki _could_ do was whimper and look away.

Balder’s mouth tightened “I see”

Then his hand lashed out and snagged Loki’s wrist, holding it painfully in his hand.

“Have you lost your mind!?” Balder asked, crushing his wrist till Loki’s bones grinded together.

Loki hissed in pain and tried to extract his wrist but Balder only held on tighter.

“You could have killed him!” Balder yelled, “I should break you for that!”

Balder raised a hand to hit him, he very nearly did, but when Loki cringed and looked away, lifting a hand in a feeble way to protect himself, Balder stopped.

Loki gasped when Balder lowered his hand and yanked on his wrist harshly. 

“But you saved my life” Balder told him, leaving him stunned “and _now_ my debt had been paid”

Loki choked when Balder suddenly let him go and stepped away from him, curling his bruised wrist to his chest and looking at Balder – Balder, who looked to terrifying to him at the moment.

“Step out of this tent” Balder warned him “and I will drag you by your _hair_ and leave you to those dogs that nearly branded you, understand?”

Loki nodded and kept the distance between them. He flinched when Balder spun around and left, then he crashed to his knees, head in his hands as he forced himself to breathe.

***

Being frozen alive wasn’t something Thor wished to experience again.

To Thor, being defrosted felt like someone was slicing him in half slowly and painfully. He could feel every fiber of his skin being pulled apart, feel his blood thickened so that it felt like razors going through his veins, he could feel his throat getting fuller and fuller as ice gathered at the edges, he could feel his mouth and nose being forced to shut.

And it was _excruciating_.

He didn’t know if he screamed or not but he knew he wanted to die.

Because everything was _freezing_ and he was being brought back from numbness, back into feeling, like being born again.

Only _he_ was the one in pain now.

Just opening his eyes was painful and it took more energy he thought possible for such a small task. 

They were stuck together, his gold lashes, and it hurt as they were pulled apart so that he could at least see.

Everything was dark and Thor was grateful; he didn’t think he could handle the light at the moment.

Someone moved to his right and he rasped painfully, his breath broken and ragged.

There was a startled breath before someone came close to him.

“Your Highness?”

Thor croaked softly, for swallowing hurt his throat because it felt so raw and talking seemed impossible.

There was a sharp intake of breath and a movement, before the tent was exited and Thor was left alone.

He lay there, eyes unfocused, till he heard footsteps approach once more.

This time, he recognized them and his chapped, bleeding lips seemed to force themselves into a smile the moment he heard his brother enter.

“Thor!” Balder knelt beside his cot “Thor, are you awake?”

Once more, Thor rasped.

“Oh, thank the stars!” Balder exhaled and rested his head on the side of Thor’s cot “I didn’t think I would see this day”

Thor closed his eyes and another choked noise escaped his lips.

“He needs healing stones” a voice spoke.

Thor didn’t see, but he assumed Balder had nodded because a moment later his brother left his side.

They would help him heal, he knew and he should stay awake, but it was painful – so painful…

His eyes drooped once more and Thor lost consciousness.

***

Loki was seated on the floor, busying himself by playing a game with a stack of cards he had found in Thor’s belongings.

He placed them face down on the floor and lifted them one by one, matching them with number and color. When he got it wrong, he put them back, when he got them right, he placed them under his knee.

It was a memory game and these past four days, this is how he had kept himself busy.

He hadn’t left Thor’s tent; he wasn’t about to check if Balder meant his threat or not.

The man may have spared him, but that didn’t mean he had infinite mercy.

He lifted a card and wrinkled his nose when it turned out to be the wrong one.

Then again, Balder _had_ made sure no one harmed him.

It was an order Balder didn’t think he had heard or understood. So when Balder had declared to everyone that no one was to touch Loki, he had been shocked the most.

He didn’t hear the part where Balder commanded his men to stay away _because_ Thor himself was the one to punish Loki.

He wasn’t thinking about it, not now while he played this mindless game. He forced himself to remain aloof to the whole situation and once more picked up a card from the corner.

Loki grimaced again when it was wrong and placed it back.

He heard the footsteps before Balder entered and he looked up in time to see the elder prince of Asgard look around the room for something. He ignored Loki completely and went to a small chest that he found locked. Looking around, he went to the divan where Thor hadn’t slept in for four days, and lifted a pillow, then another, then another until he found the small key inside.

He went back to the chest and unlocked it before lifting the lid.

Loki saw the healing stones inside but went back to his game when Balder looked his way. He placed the cards down as Balder took what he needed.

His hands full, Balder looked back at Loki as he left the room.

“Shut and lock the case” he ordered “and don’t touch anything else”

Loki nodded and stood, going to do as he asked. He waited for Balder to leave before he reopened the chest and looked in.

There were healing stones, alright, right there, and something that shined at the bottom.

With one hand holding up the lid, Loki dug around with the other, grunting as he moved about some heavy stones to reach for the gold, tinkling object.

He growled when the stones created issues for him and let the lid go, letting it rest on his shoulders as he dug in deeper, went in farther.

His hand had closed around the object and he pulled it out to see that it was a box, about the size of a large book. He looked behind him to see if anyone was coming or not, before he shut the lid of the trunk and went to the side of the divan, using it as a shield to hide what he was doing.

He set the box down, looked at the entrance again, before he gently pried the lid open.

A crown rested inside.

A large solid gold band, with protective and blessing runes carved on it rested in the box and two wings graced both sides. He placed the lid aside and touched the wings to find them to be made of pearl.

Once more glancing up, he lifted the crown out and studied it.

He furrowed his brow when the design seemed familiar, and raised his gaze to where Thor’s armor hung.

His helmet was almost the same, which made this the crown of the Crowned Prince.

But why would Thor bring it with him to a war, Loki didn’t know.

And he was denied further contemplation when he heard footsteps sound outside.

He all but threw the crown back in the box and tossed it aside, placing a fur on top so that he could put it back later.

But whoever it was, simply passed the tent and went ahead, never even glancing inside.

Loki sighed in relief.

Then he noticed something that hadn’t registered to him for some time now.

There were no guards around.

Slowly, his legs shaking with the need to run, Loki stood. He placed one foot before the other in deliberation, waiting for a sound or voice to shatter the idea that he was – at the moment – unguarded.

But there was no sound.

There was no sound, there was no movement and there was no _one_ around to halt him should he try and run.

He walked over, slowly and carefully, to peek out of the edge of the tent’s door and saw foot prints, but no Aesir. He poked his head out and found them chatting a distance away, their backs to him.

This was his chance, Loki knew, this was the time he could manage an escape because everyone was busy as the moment.

He went back to Thor’s supplies, gathered food and furs before wrapping them in a blanket and carrying it out. He kept himself to the trees and hid behind them as he progressed, always keeping his eye and ear open for sounds of someone following him.

But when no one came, Loki realized he might have an actual chance at freedom and ran into the snow filled lands beyond the Aesir camp.

***

Balder, standing at the door of the healing tent, watched Loki go.

His blue eyes followed him for a long time as he took the opening Balder gave him and sprinted into the distance.

It was better this way.

He knew Thor was in a murderous mood while he healed and he wasn’t going to take kindly to his would be killer.

He would have Loki slain before his men and even though Loki probably deserved it, Balder wasn’t about to let his brother turn into a ruthless murderer.

It wasn’t who Thor was.

His brother was a kind and gentle man, not a harsh one.

He cared about everyone and went out of his way to help those in need. Right now, his cruel streak was a result of what had happened to his beloved Jane.

His rage against the giants, his slaughter a week and a half ago, all stemmed from the pent up anger at not being able to do anything to protect the woman he loved.

He hadn’t been there when Jane needed him the most and it ate at him every day, Balder could feel it. 

He saw the way Thor’s shoulders slumped when he thought no one was looking or when Thor thought himself alone and wiped the tears from his eyes. Balder saw the hopelessness within his gaze from time to time and he saw Thor wither.

He couldn’t take it.

And it would have gotten worse had he killed Loki and realized later on that he had done it in anger and hated himself for it.

It would be something that would haunt Thor forever and Balder wouldn’t have that.

Because he had taken a vow to protect Thor from everything – including himself.

And Balder wasn’t one who broke promises easily.

Thor’s rasp of pain made him look back.

His brother wasn’t getting better.

The healing stones had long since broken and turned to dust, but Jotunhiem was a harsh place to live in and a harsher place to die.

The choices were dwindling down and Balder knew that the best path lay in going back to Asgard.

They had gotten what they wanted, revenge had been satisfied – somewhat.

And Farbauti had been taken off the throne.

Jotunhiem would crumble.

Balder bit his lip and thought about it.

Odin had wanted an heir – either Helbindi or the long lost Byliestr to accompany them to Asgard.

He wanted to hold them in Asgard so that Farbauti would be under his control. But the plan had been foiled when Helbindi escaped and there was no sign of the other.

Tyr, the general loyal to Odin, had been sent forth to find a prince and had yet to return.

The man hadn’t been happy, apparently he had a plan to find Byliestr, but Odin had not heard a single word and sent him ahead. The man had kept grumbling and Balder had seen him cast a look or two at Thor’s tent, but he had gone.

So, there was still a chance that they would have their prince and their ransom and hold over Farbauti.

Balder looked back at the frozen land before him once more, then closed his eyes when he heard Thor’s painfully taken breath.

He swallowed audibly and walked out of the tent, his mind made up.

Fandral and Volstagg, the two of Thor’s friends brought into this war, looked up and smiled when Balder came over.

“Majesty” they greeted.

Balder nodded to them soberly before he took a deep breath.

“Gather our men” he ordered “we leave by the evening”

They stared at him.

“What?” Fandral asked “but …”

“Now” Balder cut in firmly “Do as I ask, friend”

They nodded, knowing better than to argue with him at the moment.

Volstagg went to the left, yelling orders, Fandral to the right.

So when Balder lifted his gaze and saw two Aesir walking the path Loki had taken, their weapons drawn, it was as clear as day.

***

Loki exhaled deeply, fog forming in the air.

He had been running for norns knew how long and still felt like he had miles to go.

Panting, he looked around and upon finding nothing but graying snow as darkness fell, he slumped back against a tree to rest for a while. The bag in his hands rested heavily in his lap and he placed his head back against the tree, in slight disbelief.

He couldn’t believe he had managed it.

Those Aesir had been busy enough for him to escape, but that didn’t mean they wouldn’t chase after him when they found him gone.

His legs hurt from running so far, but he knew he was close to his home. Another mile out and he would see the thick trees that had shielded him from rest of Jotunhiem.

There, hopefully, he would find his brother.

If not … well, Loki hadn’t thought that far yet.

A twig snapped somewhere behind him and Loki turned his head to see.

There was nothing there, and after staring for a good, long while, he shook his head and lowered his gaze to the bag he had in his hands. He pulled it open and looked inside.

The smell of food wafted out and he took a deep breath before reaching in and pulling out some dried meat and cheese.

He liked this combination best, he realized.

He was munching on it slowly while he looked in to see what else he had taken and he froze in horror when he saw a familiar gold box.

Loki stopped chewing and stared.

In his haste to get supplies, he had lifted the very furs he had hidden Thor’s crown in.

He looked up and around, expecting half the forest to come alive and blame him. placing a hand over his head in his despair, Loki looked back at the crown.

Norns damn him, _what had he done_!?

He had just given Thor _more_ cause to kill him.

Murderer and a thief.

Loki almost scoffed at himself, at the list he was making for himself.

He wasn’t either of those and now he was both.

Loki lifted his head again, looking around and looking for some sort of answer.

Going back was out of the question.

They would capture him and with this in his hands, his head would be chopped off in a matter of minutes.

He couldn’t keep it either, because that was a _huge_ crime.

A rival stealing the crown of another was one of the most frowned upon crimes in the realms.

And Loki had to go and steal _this_ crown, the one belonging to the Aesir prince, one of the most powerful beings in the nine realms.

Running a hand through his hair, Loki swallowed and thought.

His brother was going to kill him, literally kill him when he found out he had been taken and if Loki came back with _this_ …

Byleistr would kill him and bring him back _just_ so he could kill him again.

He had to get rid of it.

Even if they catch him, at least he won’t have this crime to his name.

So Loki stood, stolen crown in hand and stared at it.

“There you are!”

Loki gasped and whirled around, the box held to his chest as he stared behind him.

Two Aesir soldiers had found him.

“We were wondering where you were going” one of them, the taller one with brown hair, spoke “It couldn’t have been a walk”

The other, a hulking blonde, sneered at him “Oh, you are in trouble, Loki”

Loki shook his head as they advanced, retreating.

“There is no place for you to run” the first said “Come with us and …”

Loki paled when their eyes went to the box he was holding.

“No …” Loki breathed when they recognized it.

The second stared up at him, disbelief and rage in his eyes “You little thief!”

“No!” Loki yelled, stepping back “It was an accident; I didn’t mean to steal it!”

The next second he clamped a hand over his mouth, his eyes wide in disbelief at how _stupid_ he was.

The Aesir froze for a few moments before they realized it and sneered.

“Ah” one of them said “a secret you just gave away, Loki”

“I heard the princes were looking for a royal to take back as ransom” the other said, drawing his sword

“No, please… “ Loki looked behind him, to the frozen land, then back at these men  

His heart began to race as they closed in and Loki dropped all common sense and went into panic.

He hurled the box at them and they both rushed to grab it.

Then he turned and ran, uncaring of where he was going, but his heart was in his throat and those men were right behind him so he didn’t care.

“Stop right there!” they called

Loki gave a terrified cry before running even faster, there were tears in his eyes because the cold wind stung him and his legs hurt so badly he thought they were going to give way.

He screamed when he was caught; a hand grabbing his arm and yanking back till he fell.

“No!” Loki yelled, trying to get up and shouted when he was pressed back and a blade pointed to his throat “Please, let me go!”

“Oh, look what he has here” the man said, fingering Loki’s pendant “I told you he stole it”

“Jotun scum!” the other snapped.

Loki gasped and averted his gaze when the blade came to rest on his cheek. He squeezed his eyes shut.

“Please, let me go home, I …” 

The blonde that held him down laughed “Oh, I have no intention of doing that, Your _Majesty_ , the only thing I will …”

He broke off when a roar sounded in the distance and his partner yelled.

He looked up to see a _huge_ frost giant running towards them, ice dagger ready.

The man scrambled off Loki and raised his own weapon, stumbling backwards.

The other gave a battle yell and ran forward, keeping the courage the other lacked.

But the giant was without reason.

He gave a roar of rage and slammed his large hand into the first, sending him soaring through the air and landing nearly twenty feet away, the other he grabbed in mid-run and threw afar like a doll. Then it turned to Loki.

“Halt!”

The Jotun and Loki turned to see Balder sprinting forward, his hands holding his sword.

“Stand down, Byleistr” he ordered.

***

Loki watched his brother as he lay on the ground, the menacing figure the full blooded Jotun made as it stared at Balder.

Byleistr was panting in anger and rage and Balder was as tense as a cat about to pounce. They both glared at each other, daring the other to make the first move.

“I said stand down” Balder said “you killed my men, that is enough”

“You wield a weapon, Aesir, not I” Byleistr rumbled 

Balder looked from Loki, safe behind the Jotun, then at Byleistr. He lowered his blade and looked up at the Jotun prince.

Byleistr relaxed his stance

“You …”

“You have no right to speak” Byleistr rasped “not after the insult you have placed upon our name”

 Balder frowned “What?”

“Kidnapping the prince” Byleistr said “taking a Laufeyson and keeping him as your _whore_ and sending your men to kill him!”

Confusion lasted on Balder’s face but a moment before realization dawned.

“Laufeyson…” he looked at Loki, who was still half lying in the snow “I see …”

Loki swallowed the lump in his throat and looked away.

“I didn’t do any of what you said” Balder said firmly “and he has done far worse”

Loki felt his heart drop.

“Be that as it may” Byleistr growled “You kidnapped him and tarnished his honor. I hope you intend to do the right thing because the implications and accusations are something we will take great offence at.”

“Byleistr…” Loki whimpered.

“Shut your mouth!” Byleistr turned on him “You have done enough!”

Loki recoiled and became silent.

Byleistr turned back to Balder.

“Expect Odin to meet with me soon”

“My Father is in his sleep”

“Then wake him up” Byleistr rasped “because my brother’s honor is worth waging war upon your realm. And believe me, Balder Odinson, I have gathered myself an army enough to bring down those that have wronged Loki. I may not have the throne, but I _will_ have this.”

Balder said nothing. He kept his gaze firmly ahead as he listened to Byleistr. 

“Three days I give you for your answer” Byleistr said “otherwise we shall meet in dire circumstances, Odinson”

Balder lifted his gaze to Loki and for the first time, Loki saw impassivity there.

The Odinson nodded “As you wish”

Byleistr grunted and spun around.

Loki inhaled sharply when he grabbed his arm and hauled him to his feet. He didn’t look over his shoulder as he was dragged away.

Balder watched him go, a mixture of feeling going through him.

And Byleistr …

He had just found another way to gain power over Jotunheim.

With Loki by the side of an Aesir prince, he would have control over their army and once Loki had that…

Byleistr would gain his throne _and_ get back the casket needed so desperately for his kingdom.

And nothing would be able to stop him then.

A sinister smile pasted itself on his face as he walked, a skip in his gait that hadn’t been there a while ago.


	6. Given and Denied

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki gains his Aesir Prince

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to angrboda-the-witch

The war had cost Jotunhiem much more than they had ever fathomed.

Where once it stood proud, now two wars past, it crumbled even further into despair.

Her people were drawn into rebellion, civil wars started and where once Byleistr boasted to the Odinson of an army, he cowered now, living in the remnants of a friend’s hospitality and begging for scraps to feed himself and his brother.

When things had gone wrong, he knew.

It was the moment he had brought Loki back and announced to his now enemies that he intended on wedding him to the elder Odinson.

They had laughed at him, called him a traitor to the name of Laufey and hurled stones at him till he left, running like a dog with its tail between his legs.

Because Loki was nothing but a runt and the Odinson would never agree.

He didn’t even have the chance to meet with Odin because his men, the very men that had sworn fealty to him months ago, now turned on him.

He was a stain on the name of Laufey, they told him and Loki was nothing. Farbauti may have been cruel, but at least he had been right when he shunned the half thing and demanded its death.

Laufey had been a strong king, he didn’t need Loki to his name, nor did he ever need to do something as petty as blackmailing.

He had been clever and Byleistr was desperate. 

They had no desire for a desperate king, so they would decide who would take the throne.

The deciding turned to arguing and soon that escalated into full on battles.

The Aesir had long since left so the wars were now personal. Each Jotun thought strong enough would gain an army for himself and fight the other for the throne.

It was a bloody event and Byliestr wondered if any Jotun would be left behind after the massacre.

“It is _I_ who should be on that throne” he told Loki for the thousandth time “It is mine. Father trained me for it!”

Loki didn’t reply.

He didn’t talk at all now, unless he really needed to.

His encounter with the Aesir and Byliestr’s never ending rage had taught him of his own stupidity. He really was useless and unable to do anything, just like his brother said. 

He hadn’t been able to avoid getting caught by those barbarians and he hadn’t been able to escape without doing something stupid.

He had no use, apart from testing Byleistr’s rage,  so when one was _finally_ discovered, his brother wanted to use it to his full advantage.

“One moment is all I need with Odin” Byleistr thought out loud as they sat in their friend’s, Jarnsaxa’s home.

Jarnsaxa was also fighting, but he fought to protect the throne and so far, his army was the most feared and the largest. And though he was doing what Byleistr wanted, he wasn’t doing it _for_ Loki’s brother.

Jarnsaxa fought for the one deserving of the throne – something he hadn’t called Byleistr yet.

“And you can convince him to take Loki?” Jarnsaxa asked, slouching in his chair

“For the return of the casket, of course” Bylesitr said “they took it from us because Farbauti was stupid. I may be his son, but I am not him”

“Odin won’t think so” Jarnsaxa replied “he needs a good enough reason and he won’t bend to blackmail, I can tell you that” 

Byleistr smiled “So I won’t blackmail him. He wanted a prince for ransom when he came here, I shall give him insurance. He will keep Loki and give me the casket. A fair trade”

“Hardly” Jarnsaxa said “fair trade would mean you are sacrificing something, not getting rid of it”

Byleistr shrugged “He wouldn’t know that. As far as he knows, I am giving up my beloved brother to prove I can be trusted with the casket.”

“Political marriage is hardly the answer”

“It will be, I shall ensure it” Byleistr said.

And the power lust in his eyes made Jarnsaxa shudder.

***

Surprisingly, it was Odin who contacted him.

By using Jarnsaxa, Byleistr found a safe path to the point where the bifrost would lift him up and before the king.

Then he stared at the man who, a month and a half ago, was waging war on his home.

The first thing Byleistr noticed was that they were alone, the two of them. Not even the guardian he had heard so much about watched them. The dome they stood in glowed in power and behind Odin, Asgard glowed in her glory.

And Odin, awake from his famous sleep, looked upon Byleistr with mild interest.

“Heimdall tells me you are planning to take the casket” Odin said “be not foolish enough to think I shall give it to you. We were at war not too long ago.”

“A war _you_ waged” Byleistr said “and _we_ didn’t fight, you and my dam fought. I harbor little ill will against you; the man was a monster”

“You expect me to believe that?” Odin asked plainly “we destroyed your home, killed your people. How could you not hold it against us and wish to do us harm?”

Byleistr grimaced “I’ll admit to some resentment, especially after my brother’s reputation was stained”

Odin tightened his lips.

“And the destruction of my home wasn’t something I cherished” Byleistr went on “however, something weighs importance over my resentment and I think you know what it is”

Odin’s mouth turned into a grim line “Farbauti’s return”

“He will not take this defeat well, All Father” Byleistr said “my safety as well as your own, personal safety will be at risk to his unfair, wicked ways. He is of the old thinking and now has gone to make an alliance with his own kind. True Jotuns, ones that even we fear are heading forth and you and I both know how they tend to be”

Odin hummed, nodding once.

“Grant me the help of your people” Byliestr said “give me the casket and I shall prove …”

“No”

Byleistr stopped, rage starting within him “You …”

“I believe all that you say” Odin said “and I shall aid you, Laufeyson, but giving you the casket when you harbor resentment against us is not something I am easy enough to do”

Byliestr exhaled loudly, slowly.

This was where he needed to be clever.

“So what would you agree to?”

Odin sighed “Your concern with me is of a personal nature. You mourn the loss of your brother’s … reputation and I understand that. My sons made a mistake and have recognized it. They also recognize the danger you pose when you are angered. And giving you the casket when you have complaint against us is unwise”

Byleistr stayed silent for a while before he spoke “Then rectify the mistake. Do what needs to be done to repair my brother’s tarnished honor and gain insurance that I will use the casket well. I will not have my dam back on the Jotun throne but without your aid, I find myself doing just that. My men are at war with each other, I have no help. You seem to be my last resort and I fear I look upon guaranteed destruction should you deny me”

Odin hummed once more.

“We need to protect our people” Byleistr went on “your realm _will_ be affected by Farbauti’s return and we need to ally ourselves against him”

“I cannot ally myself with someone I do not trust”

“I have done nothing to you” Byleistr said “it was you that harmed mine”

“Your brother nearly killed my son”

“A mistake” Byleistr said “acts of a desperate man. I do not hold your war against you, do not hold his actions against us”

“I won’t give you the casket”

“Then don’t” Byleistr said instantly “give me your aid and nothing else and keep my brother’s honor”

He needed Odin’s trust now – the casket could wait.

Until Loki was securely wed.

“Let me think on it” Odin said “then I shall get back to you”

Byleistr didn’t like it, but looking humble didn’t hurt so he bowed to the king.

“As you wish”

He didn’t say anything else, but as Odin set the bifrost to take him back, he saw contemplation written firmly on his face.

***

This time, Odin waited a week – and he came himself.

And he demanded to see Loki.

Jarnsaxa went into a hysterical frenzy when he realized he had the All Father at his guest, alternated between cleaning the mess in his home and yelling his mate to bring something over for the All Father to eat or drink.

 

It made Byleistr laugh.

Byleistr never laughed unless he got his way.

Loki looked like a ghost.

That was what Odin thought the moment he saw the boy. He could easily imagine his trauma and felt for the boy as he came over and sat in the mostly whole couch opposite Odin.

He didn’t lift his gaze.

“Loki” Odin greeted him

“All Father” Loki muttered, his voice breaking a little.

And it was then Odin noticed how tightly he held his hands in his lap as he tried to keep them from shaking.

“How are you, Loki?” Odin asked

“He’s well enough” Byleistr answered.

He almost flinched when Odin looked at him, then shut up.

“Perhaps some privacy?” Odin asked – though it was not a request.

Byleistr nodded and stood. He walked out of the room, but not before giving Loki a good, solid glare.

_Do not ruin this_

Loki got the message and remained seated even though he wanted to jump out of the nearest window and run for his life.

But Byleistr had told him in no uncertain terms, his fate should he do something so stupid. 

And being handed to Farbauti wasn’t something Loki wanted done to him.

That was his choice – Odinson or Farbauti.

“How old are you, Loki?” Odin asked him

“Two and twenty” 

“I see” Odin said “and how long have you been practicing magic?”

Loki swallowed before answering “Four years, your majesty”

Odin hummed again “Are you any good?”

Loki shook his head “Not that great – your highness”

“Because of these?” Odin tapped his bands

Loki nodded

“Why did you get these?”

Loki took a deep breath and gave him the answer Byleistr told him to say “My brother’s dam didn’t approve of it. He forced these on me”

Once more, Odin hummed “Would you like to have them taken off?”

This time, Loki didn’t lie “Desperately”

“You harmed my son”

It was the subject he had been dreading and Loki felt his hands shake. His throat constricted and he couldn’t breathe. His gaze lifted but it didn’t turn to Odin, he stared ahead, fearing his frail composure would break if he looked at the man sitting next to him.

“Loki?” Odin prompted 

Loki nodded “I didn’t mean for it to go that far. I … I’m sorry”

“You lied to him and stole from him, too”

Loki began to shiver “I …”

“And you took the crown, no less” Odin didn’t raise his voice nor did he change his tone “realms have gone to war for less”

Loki inhaled sharply and forced himself to calm. He was close to panicking again.

“All for self preservation?”

“No!” Loki said sharply, finally looking at Odin “I didn’t do it for myself, I did it to …”

He realized he was staring into Odin’s impassive face and looked away.

“You did it to…?” Odin prompted.

“I didn’t mean to do all those things” Loki said softly “they sound terrible, and they are and I never meant to cause your son so much harm but … I heard they wanted a royal to take for ransom and …”

“And you didn’t want to be that royal” Odin finished for him

Loki scoffed at that, startling Odin “You would have been better off taking a royal servant than me, my lord. I am nothing here in Jotunhiem, of no use or benefit. My brother enjoys the status of prince, I only have a half name, nothing else.”

Odin watched him carefully.

“When I heard you say you wanted a royal, I knew you would try and take either my brother or Helbindi” Loki went on “I couldn’t let you have my brother, because it would serve you no purpose.

Farbauti may have borne him, but he holds no love for him and when you would have ultimately realized that, you …” he broke off and took a deep breath “what use would he be? And I doubt his death would have been painless”

“You know of the unwritten laws between realms” Odin stated

Loki didn’t say anything; it wasn’t a question.

Odin sighed and looked aside before turning back to Loki.

This might have been the saddest man he had ever laid eyes upon. There was a haunting in those bright green eyes and it almost dampened the intelligence there. Almost no self confidence – no real sense of self, actually. He had potential, Odin knew, he could feel it.

A mage’s power, though dampened, could still be sensed. And since Odin himself held so much power, he felt the magnitude of the abilities Loki possessed.

Odin wasn’t like Asgard. He didn’t think magic as useless or something weak. 

It was an art long forgotten and one he had failed to teach his sons.

He held magic in high regard, one of the reasons he married Frigga, and it had proven to be something that evolved and learned and became stronger with each passing moment.

It was life.

Someone with powers such as these should not hold himself at such low esteem – no matter what he had done in desperation.

Odin looked at Loki as the boy kept his gaze lowered to the floor and kept his hands tightly clasped to keep his fear at bay.

The All Father cleared his throat and Loki braced himself for rejection – he was used to it.

And _that_ more than anything else made Odin change his mind.

No one should be used to rejection so and he was a powerful man; Loki didn’t need to feel this way.

“If he accepts” Odin spoke softly to Loki “if he forgives all that you have done, would you accept my son’s hand?”

Loki didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

He got what he aimed for and felt a hundred times more trapped.

He nodded once.

“Would you forgive him for tarnishing your name?” Odin asked

“My name was tarnished the moment my father brought me here” Loki told him “I would have become used to it. But yes, I will forgive him.”

Odin’s brow furrowed. Those were not Loki’s words, but Byleistr’s. He was feeding them to Loki, probably through threats.

And he realized he didn’t want to leave this boy here, in such a destructive environment.

“I see”

Once more, Loki remained silent.

“Well, then” Odin stood but stopped Loki when he made to rise “Keep seated. I feel your knees will betray you if you stand at this point”

It was a joke and Odin had wished to make the boy laugh, but he didn’t.

Loki obeyed.

And Odin felt his resentment against the boy crack and break.

“Fare well, Loki” Odin said

“Fare well, my lord”

And Odin wanted so badly to run a hand over his head but he stopped himself.

He had a soft heart, but not a soft mind. So he nodded and turned to leave the room.

Byleistr was outside, no doubt listening to the entire conversation and Odin found it irritated him.

“My lord” Byleistr bowed to him.

Odin nodded at the giant “I shall ask my son, as you requested. Should he accept, consider this an alliance between our families, Laufeyson”

“Of course”

Odin kept his mouth from twisting in disgust and left, giving the almost hysterical Jarnsaxa a casual wave and watching in mirth as the giant stared at him before looking like he would swoon.

That kept his mood lifted till he got back home.

***

That night, after the feasting had been done and the good people of Asgard off on their own, Odin sat on the terrace of his chambers, his head resting on his wife’s lap as he ran her fingers through his hair.

“I am not wrong in this, am I?” Odin asked his beloved “forcing him to wed?”

“You are not forcing him, my love” Frigga said “you have not even asked him”

“This will not be one of love” Odin said “and he is an emotional man”

“He is also wise” Frigga added “he will agree”

Odin sighed and looked up at the stars, trying to map out the ones that lead to Midgard, Vanahiem and Jotunhiem.

“You didn’t see him, fig” Odin said “it was like he feared I was there was his head rather than his hand”

Frigga chuckled “I do not blame him. You are a grizzly looking man”

Odin scoffed “Don’t pretend you don’t like it”

“I never said I didn’t”

Odin chuckled and sobered a moment or two later.

“What if I am mistaken?” Odin asked “What if this is not something that benefits us at all? What if there is some treachery he is after?”

Frigga shrugged “Than decline the whole affair”

Odin thought about it, thought about the harsh environment Loki dwelled in. Though he had harmed his boy, Odin didn’t think Loki capable of anything over mischief.

Balder had told him what he had done. How he had destroyed Thor’s belongings in his helpless rage and how Thor had lashed him when he had enough.

Odin had laughed about it back then, when Balder told him that Loki had cried after and behaved himself – somewhat.

Now, he found himself feeling guilty for laughing.

Loki lived a miserable life and Odin was strangely glad for his small bout of rebellion. It showed he still had spirit.

That Byleistr hadn’t dampened everything out from the poor boy.

“He laughs not” Odin told his wife “all he does is sit there and do as he is told. It was rather terrifying”

Frigga hummed “And our son will be the cure for that. He can bring cheer to the gravest of us all”

“That he can” Odin chuckled “but…”

“What truly troubles you, love?” Frigga asked “that he is a Jotun?”

Odin shook his head “Laufey never once mentioned him before his death. There has to be a reason”

Frigga looked down at him and touched his forehead, making the creases go away “Perhaps he wished to protect him. We all know how Farbauti – that terrible man – can get.”

Odin hummed “I feel like I am missing something crucial”

“Aye” his wife said “a good night’s sleep. Get up”

She hit his cheek lightly

“You had a hard day and I doubt thinking is going to help you” she pulled back as he sat up

“Would he agree?” Odin suddenly asked “I do not wish to force him”

Frigga chuckled and stood, brushing down her dress “You will find out in the morning when you ask him. Sleep now, dearest, it has already grown late”

A glint came over Odin’s eyes as he watched his beautiful wife brush herself down.

“Do you really wish to sleep?” Odin asked as he approached her “because I just lost all desire for it”

“No” Frigga snickered, retreating “we sleep. Stay away from me old _man_!”

She shrieked the last ran made a half hearted attempt to escape as Odin ran after her.

The room was filled with laughter and giggles and it raised their happiness to the skies.

***

“Are you done?”

Loki immediately dropped the piece of meat back into the plate when his brother called through the door and placed his hands in his lap.

He was far from done, he had barely taken a few bites of his dinner, but Byleistr would make him stop anyway, so there was no real point in eating anymore, though he hungered for it.

“Aye” he said

“Then come here, Loki”

Like a lifeless drone, Loki stood and went to where his brother sat in the sitting area, right next to the dining room Loki had been in.

He walked in, still slightly dizzy from the lack of a proper meal; Odin wouldn’t want a fat bride, would he?

Byleistr was sprawled on the couch, almost falling out of it.

“Yes?” Loki stood a few feet from him, hands clasped before him.

“Odin is returning tomorrow” Byleistr said “for another meet with you. He asked I not be there, norns know why”

_I do …_

Out loud, Loki said nothing.

“Do you love me, brother?” Byleistr asked him suddenly, his voice bordering on genuine.

Loki grit his teeth.

 _How_ cold Byleistr ask him that when all that Loki does for him is out of nothing _but_ love. All he gave up, all he took was for this man and this alone.

“Yes”

“Are you not grateful for what I have done?”

Loki had to count to ten this time, but managed a small nod.

He would have looked genuine, Loki thought, had it not been for the frightening intensity in those crimson eyes. His brother made him stare at him to turn him speechless because what _hadn’t_ Byleistr done?

Hadn’t he humiliated him throughout his life? Hadn’t he treated him like filth? Hadn’t he told him he was nothing but a burden over and over again? hadn’t he _just_ sold him to gain himself power?

What _hadn’t_ he done?

When Loki spoke, it was a flat tone, the same tone he used since he found out he was being bartered.

“Yes”

“Then show me” Byleistr said “by making this meet count. Be modest and respectful, be charming and funny, try to show you care for him, try to show you are intelligent, but don’t force yourself and don’t go on about your magic. Asgard does not take kindly to it”

Loki nodded, and though he wanted to cry, he kept himself in control.

Byleistr wanted him to be beautiful and attractive – something he wasn’t. He was destined to fail at this and lose all use he had for himself.

The pressure was crushing him.

“Is that all?”

Byleistr looked at him before he nodded and stood, coming over to Loki.

Loki tensed and froze when his brother’s arms went around him in a hug.

It lacked warmth and scared Loki more than anything.

“I don’t want to give you to Farbauti, but I will, Loki” he kissed Loki’s head

Loki stilled, fear etching itself on his features and he began to push against his brother.

But Byleistr forced him to stay.

“And I shall probably watch while that monster rapes you until you bleed to death, Loki” he went on “he won’t do it alone, he will have others take you after he is done, I know it. Probably ask me to join in as well”

“Byleistr!” Loki called as he shoved against his brute of a brother

“So do _not_ ruin this for me, Loki” Byleistr said “because if you think me cruel now, you are seriously mistaken if you think I will not give you to Farbauti and take power _that_ way”

He released Loki and the other fell back with a sharp cry, sitting the floor of Jarnsaxa’s seating room and staring up at his brother in horror.

Byleistr looked at him impassively “Do not disappoint me, Loki”

Loki flinched violently when his brother turned and walked to the front door, opening and banging it shut after he left.

And then, only then did Loki give in to his despair and lay on the ground with his head in his arms and cried.

Heavy sobs violently wracked his body as loud, heart breaking weeping filled the empty house.

***

Odin wasn’t one to put things off.

But today, he found himself slowing his horse to a slow crawl as he neared the house the haled Loki and his gruesome brother. He could see it in the distance, which meant the brothers could see him as well.

There was probably going to be a flurry or movement as they prepared for his arrival, fully expecting his acceptance of the proposal.

But he was going to disappoint.

Because he would not agree to bring someone into Asgard when he knew they had tried and almost succeeded in killing his Thor.

Loki might live a terrible life, but that didn’t warrant so much sympathy from Odin that he put his own son in harm’s way again.

He would agree to help Byleistr, but it would be on _his_ terms.

There would be no nonsense, a simple pact that the Jotun could either accept or decline. He would be the one to dictate the whole deal, not Byleistr.

There would be no loveless, political marriage and there would be no Byleistr joining their family.

Because, to be honest, he was more like Farbauti than Odin would have liked.

The man denied it, he held no hate for the Aesir, yes, but he was power hungry and reedy and he seemed to have deluded himself into thinking he was doing this for his realm.

No, he was doing it for himself and no one else.

Even his own brother was a bartering chip as far as he was concerned.

Odin didn’t need that in his family.

But as he neared the house enough, as he got close enough to see through the top window, Odin saw something that made his heart melt.

Loki was perched on a window seat, his back to Odin.

He had his head lowered into his arms as they rested upon his raised knees.

He was crying.

The violent shaking of his shoulders showed Odin the amount of pain the young man was in and it tugged at his heart.

“All Father!”

Odin looked down to see Jarnsaxa running forward, in better shape this time. He nodded to him before he slid off his horse and looked at the window again.

Loki was gone, but Odin could swear he felt his pain even now.

“Let me handle this” Jarnsaxa said, taking his horse “warm yourself inside, my lord”

Once more, Odin nodded and let the giant take his horse from him before he walked inside the house.

There was movement inside and Jarnsaxa’s mate ran over, hand extended to Odin.

“All Father” he took the hand and kissed the back of it, making Odin’s lips quirk in humor.

Then he bowed and went to the kitchen, probably getting something he had painstakingly prepared.

Chuckling, Odin walked into the home and found Byleistr sitting there, reading a scroll.

The arrogance this man displayed was off putting and as he greeted him, Odin found himself wanting to escape this man’s company.

“Loki?” Odin asked as greeting

Byleistr smiled “He was reading, my lord. Give him a moment and he shall be downstairs”

Odin’s mouth tensed at the lie but he let it go. He wasn’t here for him, he was here to see the boy.

“Quickly, if you please” Odin said “I have things to tend to back home”

“As you wish” Byleistr bowed before he went away, presumably to get Loki.

Meanwhile, Jarnsaxa came back, grinned to Odin and went to the kitchen. 

Odin smiled when he heard him tell his mate to hurt up and accompany him to a long walk outside, perhaps see to how their men were guarding the throne.

There was movement and voices and Odin heard the door close.

Then he heard footsteps and rumbling before Byleistr appeared, Loki right behind him.

The boy looked _wretched_ , like he had done nothing but cry since Odin’s visit two weeks ago.  

“Loki” Odin managed a soft smile

“All Father” Loki whispered and bowed to him

Byleistr grinned at them before nudging Loki forward.

“I shall leave you to it”

Odin watched him leave and turned to the tormented boy before him.

He wore some silly looking robes, held together by a belt around his too thin waist. His hair was hastily pushed back and his eyes – his lovely green eyes were red rimmed and swollen.

Odin felt something break in him.

“Come here, child” Odin said softly.

Loki walked over to him and stood right before him. He didn’t look at him, however, keeping his gaze lowered.

“Look at me, Loki”

It took him a moment, but Loki obeyed. He lifted his reddened eyes to Odin and held his own hands tightly.

“You do not want this, do you?” Odin asked him gently “any of this”

Loki swallowed and looked away.

“Loki?”

“I have no choice” he whispered “rebellion never got me anything and my Father’s name needs to be raised. If this is the only way, so be it, my lord.”

And _that_ explained everything to Odin.

He placed a hand on Loki’s shoulder, then tipped his chin up to look at his face.

He was a handsome lad and it would do his son good to learn _some_ humility from him.

“Then consider your hand taken for my son, Loki”

The reaction was slow.

First, Loki kept his face impassive, then his eyes watered. His teeth came to bite his lip as his demeanor crumbled and he lost control.

He gave a soft sob and lowered his head, letting Odin guide it to his shoulder as he wept in relief.

“Thank you” Loki whispered “thank you … thank you … thank you”

Odin didn’t realize until a tear fell from his own eye that his heart had been breaking this whole time.

***

“I thought men couldn’t wed men in Asgard” Balder said as he walked in his mother’s gardens with his father at his side.

Odin shrugged “Loki is Jotun. Not a man, not a woman. He can bear children, that is the difference”

“Ah” Balder said “and what about his age?”

“Twenty two” Odin said “mentally, he is light-years ahead of you”

Balder chuckled “Really?”

“It’s a good match, to be honest” Odin said

“Have I disagreed?”

Odin shook his head “I fear there is resentment there”

“I don’t” Balder said “hesitancy to accept, yes, but not true resentment”

“Perhaps” Odin said

They walked in silence for a while as they crossed the gardens, nodded to the people around them and bought themselves each a large bouquet to give Frigga.

“She shall like mine better” Balder announced as he showed Odin his gorgeous collection of flowers, handpicked by him and set according to his command by the woman selling them.

“Of course she won’t” Odin said, looking upon his own “I will have something you can never hope to give her”

“What?” Balder asked, eyeing the practice tarps that came up ahead of them

Odin chuckled and made him look back before wiggling his eyebrows at him.

“Norns be damned, Father!” Balder said, turning away “You are a twisted man, you old bag!”

Odin laughed at his son’s disgust “I haven’t said anything that is not true”

“Leave me alone” Balder muttered, walking away.

He began to walk faster when Odin tailed him.

“I said stay back!” Balder said, before full out running.

Odin chased him a moment before stopping, letting him go to the training area where he could see Thor dancing around the arena with his friends.

Thor – the son he had come so close to losing.

A month it had taken his beloved child to heal, a month to undo what had been done to him. a month of agonizing pain and a month of immobility that Thor had no will to bear again.

It might have let him live, but it damned near killed Odin.

No parent should have to endure that.

He blinked out of his dire thoughts when he saw Balder walk over to the tarps. He shook his head in despair when Balder presented Sif the flowers with a flourish he never lacked.

Part of him wanted to tell Balder he was almost spoken for, but the other part shut that up.

He had a wife to get to and flowers to give.

Before he gave her something else entirely.

So, chuckling, he all but jogged back, a smile on his face and an almost skip in his step.

***

“What is Balder like?”

Jarnsaxa’s mate, Hrym, looked up from the meat he was carving when Loki spoke from the table.

He rarely spoke and when he did, he never addressed them. He called to his brother and his brother alone. 

Hrym didn’t like Byleistr, but he had a long standing friendship with Jarnsaxa, so he bore him. In truth, he thought him cruel and greedy and rather stupid. The way he treated Loki was terrible, but since he was a prince, opinions were kept to themselves and Loki was kept in his misery.

“You met him” Hrym said, placing some food on a platter and passing it to Loki “Don’t you know”

Loki eyed the platter but didn’t take anything from it. His stomach grumbled though and he refused it.

He shrugged a shoulder “I met him during a war. You have met him otherwise. What is he like when he isn’t … fighting?”

Hrym wanted to be left alone – he didn’t like talking when he cooked – but Loki hardly initiated conversation and he was always so _lonely_ it tugged at his heart.

So he sighed “Well, he makes everyone around him laugh. His jests around with everyone and takes jokes upon his person well, too”

Loki scoffed “I hardly think jokes will make my life easier with him”

Hrym gave him an odd look “What if I told you that the first time I met him he insisted upon a dance with me and told me it would make Jarnsaxa envious?”

“Did it work?” Loki asked

Hrym blushed as he thought about how _well_ it had worked.

“Aye”

“What else?” Loki asked, placing his elbows on the table and reminding Hrym of an eager boy.

Something Loki probably never got a chance to be.

Shaking his head, Hrym pushed that thought away and answered Loki’s question.

“He says he can talk to animals” he said “it could be true because he spends so much time with them and they love him. He sings, too. He played the lute at a feast and I vow not a single person wasn’t shedding tears by the end of it”

Loki gave another nod. He knew _that_.

“And books” Hrym said “he has so many books on every topic the nine realms could think of. He shares them too”

Loki’s eyes gave him the slightest twinkle “Really?”

Hrym nodded “He once lent me a book on herbal remedies. It was very helpful and I stole so many recipes from it, I can write my own”

He chuckled “I hated giving it back to him but he insisted – politely of course. He is always polite and just. He cannot bear injustice”

Loki nodded again.

There was a silence as Loki thought this over and thought of ways he could get himself to like Balder enough to spend his life with him.

“How have you met him so much?” Loki asked

Hrym smiled “Before the war, your father took those close to him to Asgard. He took me a total of three times and I cannot ever forget how grateful I am to him”

Loki saddened instantly. His hand went to the pendant around his throat and he gave it a squeeze.

Hrym sighed “Loki, you …”

The door to the house opened then and Byleistr came in, a large object in his arms that he carried inside.

“Loki!” he called even as he kicked the door shut behind him.

Hrym sighed as Loki ran over, unwilling to test his brother’s impatience. He lifted Loki’s untouched place and gave Byleistr a baleful glower.

“Brother” Byleistr grinned “I have something for you”

He placed the large object, a trunk, on the floor with a thud and grinned at Loki.

“Open it”

Loki walked over and pulled the trunk open, expecting something paltry he would have to pretend to like.

But his eyes went wide when he saw what was inside.

Clothes – not the ruined ones he wore, but whole outfits of wonderful colors and designs.

“Fit for a prince” Byleistr said, clapping Loki on the back and almost throwing him in the trunk.

“Byleistr … how…?” Loki began as he lifted the first out

It was black, a tunic with a black leather coat and thick trousers. Black boots lay in the corner of the trunk and the smallest smile came over his mouth.

“I went to Asgard” Byleistr said “bought them for you after I gave them your size. Go, try them on”

It would have been a perfect, brotherly image, Hrym thought as Loki gathered his treats and ran upstairs, had Byleistr not been the one in the picture.

***

“You cannot hand the casket over to them, Father” Balder said as he and Odin sat before the fire, watching the flames and drinking the royal mead “this is not what the marriage is about”

“The marriage is about peace between our realms and a desire to show we mean it when we lend Byleistr a hand” Odin said “the casket, as it will in the near future, remain with us”

“What about later?” Balder asked “and why are you helping Byleistr? As far as I am concerned, he is just like Farbauti”

“We shall see what comes later, Loki will decide upon that with his acts as consort” Odin said “and

Byleistr will not get our help so freely. Tyr has returned with the information I needed and has told me exactly what Byleistr did; Farbauti is indeed gathering an army of the fiercest Jotuns their realm has to offer. Tyr will keep him in line when you or Thor cannot”

“Tyr will do it to prove himself a better warrior than Thor” Balder said “not a very good motivation”

“It is all we have unless you want to give yourself up to battle Farbauti alongside Byleistr”

Balder shuddered “I have no complaint other than his presence” 

Odin chuckled “I know”

His eyes went to where Thor and Frigga sat chatting on the terrace.

From the looks of it, Frigga was asking him to either let her cut off his hair or plait it like a warrior’s should be. And Thor was doing everything he could to put a stop to it.

Odin sniggered when Frigga won and Thor slid down to sit at her feet.

“When is Loki due to arrive?” Balder asked

Odin looked back at him and raised a brow “When the groom goes to get him”

***

Loki found the idea of wedding Balder less and less intimidating.

He heard things from Hrym and Jarnsaxa, both of whom were glad he was talking to them.

Though his subject remained the same and he shied away from talking about anything that broached the subject of his father or his brother or himself, they liked they didn’t mind his talking.

In fact, they found him a pleasant company.

Byleistr remained out a lot these days, usually having gone to Odin to finalize arrangements. He kept telling Loki how much he would enjoy living with his Aesir prince and how much he was going to like Asgard because it was so hot.

He wouldn’t be able to meet him that much, Byleistr said, because the weather won’t suit him, but he would stay as long as it would be needed.

Loki didn’t fool himself into thinking it would be because of him that Byleistr would be willing to stay; he wanted to make sure he got an army signed over to him. 

His mood had been better since Loki got engaged to Balder and though the man himself had yet to make an appearance, Loki began to feel self conscious.

Hrym and Jarnsaxa gave each other knowing looks when they once found Loki snipping the ends off his hair to make it softer. Or when they saw him manicure his nails into perfection. They hadn’t really seen him look at himself with anything other than disgust, so when they caught him standing in front of a mirror, admiring his new wardrobe on himself, they couldn’t help but smile.

Hrym couldn’t stop laughing when he once caught Loki holding a black wig over his head, sucking in his cheeks and cocking his hip to see what he would like as a woman.

Loki had immediately stopped and gone crimson and relaxed only when Hrym gave him his word that he wasn’t going to tell anyone.

They knew Loki’s change in temperament was because of his brother’s absence and they marveled at the destruction the older Laufeyson caused on the boy.

They saw the contrast in Loki when he was with Byleistr and when he wasn’t. It was stark and chilled them to the bone.

Then came the day Loki had to be taken away.

The Aesir prince himself was going to come and take the young man away and the whole house seemed to be in a mild state of panic.

A wedding in the middle of a civil war wasn’t proper, so when Balder was to arrive, Byleistr himself was going to go get him.

Loki had been allowed to sleep late that day because he had been up all night, throwing up in his nervousness or trying to breathe.

Hrym had stayed up with him while Byleistr slept undisturbed in the other room.

Loki hadn’t accepted his help at first, but after the first mug of herbal tea, he had relented and let the man care for him and his stomach. When the sleeping herbs came to work, Loki didn’t know what hit him and fell asleep almost instantly.

Then Jarnsaxa had gone to fetch a few men to ensure the safety of the Aesir prince, Byleistr wasn’t much bothered by that, and told them to take whatever misbehavior Byleistr had against them with good grace.

The prince Balder would be a nice man, so there would be no cause to worry on that account.

The Jotun prince had left some time around noon and that left Loki and the couple alone.

Together, they brought down Loki’s packed belongings and set them where they would be easily taken away.

And while Hrym prepared a breakfast that would be easy on Loki’s stomach, Jarnsaxa went to awaken the young prince.

Loki lay sleeping and looked so innocent there was almost hesitancy in Jarnsaxa’s step as he went to wake him up.

“Loki?” he rested a hand on the young man’s shoulder “Loki, awaken, young prince. Tis your wedding today”

Loki groaned and hid under the covers 

“Make it go away”

Jarnsaxa chuckled “You know I can’t do that”

“Why?” Loki whined

“Because your prince is already on his way”  

Jarnsaxa almost fell back when Loki shot out of the bed and ran.

“Why didn’t anyone wake me?”

It was the closest thing to actual spirit they had seen in Loki and it was sad that it came when he thought himself escaping his brother and going to a man he only held the mildest of curiosity with.

For they knew he didn’t really want to get married.

He was doing it for Byleistr.

He may not be dying, but Loki was giving his life for his brother.

Jarnsaxa knew of their childhood, of the hardships they went through.

He knew that if there was one good thing Byleistr had done for Loki, it had been to put him back together after he broke when Laufey died.

The boy had been shattered, broken and beyond repair.

Byleistr put him back gently, softly, with words of care and hope.

No one expected him to do that and no one expected it to come back. Because now, all Byleistr wanted was power and to get the throne back.

And Loki had been his sacrifice.

He thought placing Loki in Asgard would get him close to the casket.

Perhaps it would perhaps it wouldn’t.

It all depended on Loki.

Jarnsaxa sighed as he went to see where Loki was. He needed to change if …

He froze, gasping, when he found Loki lying on the floor outside his room, not moving.

“Loki!”

He ran forward and stopped when Loki spoke.

“I can’t do this” Loki whispered, staring ahead as he lay curled on his side “I cannot wed him. I do not know him, I do not even care about the throne anymore, I want to leave… I cannot go to Asgard, I cannot give myself like this, I … I …”

Jarnsaxa stared, mouth hanging open 

“I want to go away but I …” Loki took a deep, gasping breath “I cannot … I cannot marry him, I cannot…”

“Loki”

Jarnsaxa gently lifted the boy into a sitting position and Loki was so limp he let him.

“Look at me”

When Loki raised his eyes, they were shining with tears and Jarnsaxa gently wiped them off.

“I know how terrified you are” he said, sitting beside the boy and letting him lean in on him “you are going to a strange kingdom, to people you have never met and have no idea how to greet them, how to talk to them or know their …”

“Is this supposed to make me feel better?” Loki asked

Jarnsaxa sniggered “No, it’s supposed to make you who you are. True, you can run right now, and spend your whole life running from one Jotun to another and live your life in fear of what your brother or Farbauti will do”

Loki shuddered

“Or you can be brave now” Jarnsaxa went on “and manage to get yourself something no one can”

“A prince?”

“A new life”

Loki paused.

“A new start,” Jarnsaxa went on “another life, after this one. Where no one but you will have control. True, you don’t know Balder, but we all do. And we know how much he will care for you, not because it would be his duty, but because he would want to. He is a wonderful man, and you will suit him perfectly, child, made for him. he will know, he already does, otherwise he would never have agreed to wedding you”

“Byleistr forced him”

Jarsaxa chuckled “Do you really believe that? Odinsons are the most powerful beings in the nine realms. Do you think they would bow to blackmail?”

Loki thought about it.

Jarnsaxa rubbed his back as he stood.

“We shall wait for you downstairs” he said as he left “and I will leave the backdoor open and place a week’s supply of food and currency on the kitchen table if you decide to walk another path”

Loki didn’t say anything, he leaned back against the wall he leaned on, head lolled aside.

“And Loki?”

Loki looked at him, looking tired

“You are far more than Byleistr tells you” Jarnsaxa said “at the top of the qualities rests bravery. Never tell yourself otherwise.”

Loki didn’t reply mainly because he couldn’t, his heart was beginning to race. And Jarnsaxa had left him and gone downstairs.

And Loki looked back at the window, his decision heavy on his mind.

***

The promised items in place, Jarnsaxa went to the sitting room to await the events that would take place.

From atop his roof, Hrym had seen the small procession arrive and had immediately started cleaning up the house… again.

Jarnsaxa had let him – there was enough tension going around and he didn’t want to add to it by making Hrym stop. So he sat in one of his large, un-cushioned, ice couches and waited.

Either Loki would run and leave Jarnsaxa to Byleistr’s wrath or he would stay and go to Asgard and be free of his poisonous brother.

He sat there, pondering a while before the footsteps sounded coming down the stairs, and smiled.

Loki was dressed in his new clothes and though he was still pale, he didn’t look sick.

Jarnsaxa smiled at him, and extended a hand to him gently.

Loki came forward and Jarnsaxa looked him in the eye.

“You may not like this” he said “and you might be scared, but I will tell you something a very wise Jotun once told me”

He gently grasped both of Loki’s hands in his “Most of us in this world have their lives planned out for them, have fate write where their paths will take them and who they will become. Their lives are easy, Loki, without struggle and therefore without growth. It those that make their own fate that are the stronger ones and those that will do unimaginable, wondrous things. You are the latter, never forget that”

Loki gave him the smallest smile Jarnsaxa had ever seen “Thank you”

“Do you know to told me that?” 

Loki shook his head

Jarnsaxa smiled “Your father”

Loki stilled, a sadness coming over him again

“Another great man who sacrificed unbelievable things” Jarnsaxa continued “and became the greatest king this realm has ever known”

A single tear fell from Loki’s eye and Jarnsaxa gently wiped it away.

“No more tears, brave prince” he said “this is your day of triumph”

Footsteps thudded and Loki stepped away from Jarnsaxa, hastily wiping his eyes.

“They’re here!” Hrym said, looking at them excitedly “How do I look?”

Jarsaxa gave him a dry look “Like a giant ice cube wearing a loin cloth”

Hrym cussed at him and Loki felt easy. He could hear them move outside and his heart thundered as they neared, each step bringing them closer to him.

A knock sounded at the door and Loki gasped softly, clasping his hands before him, then crossing his arms.

Jarnsaxa stood and placed a hand over the small of his back, gently giving him a push, as Hrym went to open the door.

He could hear Byleistr and he could hear heavy footsteps come closer and closer.

Loki took a deep breath, ready to face Balder, ready to face his future and make his own fate.

Nothing mattered at the moment, other than the man who would come for him and take him away from the hell his brother had created for him. 

Loki would be the one in power now, Byleistr would have to ask for his help rather than tell him what to do. 

Loki would be free from his brother and that thought, sadly, was enough to make him straighten his back and fix his composure.

But the moment Byleistr came forward, the moment he gave Loki a grin and the moment he stepped aside and allowed Loki’s future husband to walk in, Loki lost the confidence, all the ease and all the will he had managed to muster up to keep himself from falling over and panicking.

Because it wasn’t Balder that came in through the door and fixed his blue gaze on him.

It was Thor.


	7. The Royal Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marriage

Thor’s temper tantrums had always been legendary.

But none had been as fierce as the one he threw the day Odin told him his plan.

The skies thundered like something was breaking them, white cracks illuminated the grey clouds, screams and shrieks and howls of Thor’s rage were transferred into the skies, ripping them apart as the thunder hollered to the rains, making it attack Asgard rather than fall, turning hail into weapons and wind into plows that tore through Asgard with enough rage to force her people into their homes and underground shelters to avoid being torn asunder by the massive hurricane Thor had unleashed.

Balder had discreetly left the room when Odin had made the announcement and left Thor to deal with their father’s plan.

Now, Thor looked right into Odin’s eye, assured that his father wasn’t joking about it, and stared at him in disbelief and shock.

“You cannot ask that of me” Thor managed to rasp.

There was pain in Odin’s eye a moment before he quelled it.

“I am, Thor” he said “I know how terrible it sounds but, believe me, this is something Laufeyson takes very seriously”

“This is a trick, can you not see?” Thor asked “a ploy to gain the casket from you and _give_ to Farbauti. They are his ward!”

“I asked Heimdall the same and he negates it” Odin said “those boys are against their former king not with him. Byleistr wants to fight against him and …”

“And take the throne” Thor said “Father, we need someone _we_ control on their throne, not keep one of theirs as our burden!”

“Not a burden, Thor, consort” Odin said “and this wouldn’t have happened if we hadn’t caught that boy or if I hadn’t given to him to use”

“I didn’t touch him, Father” Thor said “neither did anyone else, he remained unharmed”

“His reputation …”

“Can rot in hell for all I care!” Thor yelled “he tried to kill me, Father, and you would have me _wed_ him!?”

“He regrets it deeply, my boy” Odin, ever patient, said “he was desperate, trying to escape and …”

“Do not tell me you believe that” Thor said “that man was a menace and nothing good came from being around him. He is a liar and Trickster, nothing else!”

“He is a prince, looking for permanent peace between our realms”

“I will not wed him!”

“You have to, Thor”

“I shall not wed some _thing_ I have been taught to loathe my entire life” Thor said “I will show no care to what happens to Jotunhiem or that pathetic little halfthing that made my life hell the moment he came into it!”

“And damn Asgard to another millennia of war with the Jotuns?” Odin asked

“We will always be at war with those monsters!”

“They wish to have peace!”

“The ‘they’ you refer to is a fallen prince and his half runt brother!” Thor yelled “they have no _power_ to ensure peace!”

“They will have our help if …”

Thunder roared outside.

“Control of our army as well?!” Thor roared “Are you well, Father, what are you doing!?”

“What needs to be done to maintain peace” Odin said “Wedding an Aesir will show us their desire to change the …”

“Why not Balder then?” Thor asked “Or Fandral or Tyr or any other well ranking Aesir why does it have to be me!?”

“Because I said so!” Odin yelled, slamming his staff to the ground “You are _my_ son and I have no obligation to explain myself to you!”

“You do when you are marrying me to a monster!” Thor yelled back

“No, I do not!” Odin countered “I am the king and you are the prince, Thor, know that I do not want to, but I will force my hand if you do not obey me. This marriage is going to happen whether you like it or not and there _will_ be peace within our realms. If Byleistr isn’t the answer, another will be but know that this marriage will create a connection between our realms. We _need_ their people to be out ally that is the only way to crush the threat Farbauti makes. You call them monsters and perhaps they are, but know that I will not damn my realm to more war because of your selfishness and prejudice”

Pin drop silence fell in the room after that. it had stunned Thor that his Father would say something like this so _soon_ after…

After he lost his meaning of life.

And it _hurt_ his so badly, Thor felt the fight lose to a backbreaking grief that sailed over and drowned him.

Thor stared at his father as if he didn’t believe he just said that.

“My prejudice?” Thor asked “You mean the _prejudice_ I gained when one of them _murdered_ my beloved?”

“Thor…”

“No, no” Thor raised a hand, halting his father’s apology. There were tears in his eyes.

“You are right” Thor said “my prejudice is standing in the way of peace between our realms, I understand.”

“Son …”

Thor wiped his eyes, all anger gone “Go ahead. Do what you must, Father, I understand. I was selfish once before, I was biased as well and look where that got me”

“Thor,” Odin took a step forward

And Thor stepped back

“I thought you understood” Thor raised watery eyes to him “I thought you knew what she meant to me, Father. Now I know all you care for is Asgard, and I don’t blame you, I truly don’t, but know you have a family to care for, too”

“Son, please…” Odin came closer

Thor shook his head but didn’t retreat.

“I’m sorry” Odin said, embracing his younger son “I’m truly sorry”

Thor’s arms came around him and he began to sob into his Father’s shoulder, all pent up emotion and anger leaving him to rest on his father’s strong shoulders.

It was after this argument that Odin went to tell Byleistr they had declined their offer.

Thor had gone to his chambers to heal the wounds opened by the argument with his father.

He expected to find the room empty, so when he saw Balder sitting there, Thor gave a start of surprise.

He sighed then and walked in, closing the door behind him as he watched Balder sit on the large couch in his lavish rooms.

“Not now, Balder” Thor droned “I need some peace”

Balder hummed but said nothing.

“I cannot wed him, brother” Thor said as he went over to the wardrobe and pulled it open “You know it would be a match made in hell”

Balder shrugged

“I lashed him, so he tried to kill me” Thor unclasped his cape “Now Father wished to see us wed. it will be a disaster of epic proportions, you know it.”

Once more, Balder shrugged.

“What purpose is there to this?” Thor asked as he hung his cape in

“There is always a purpose to what your father does”

Thor and Balder turned to see their mother standing in the doorway, looking as regal as ever.

Both their faces transformed and smiles rested upon them the instant they saw their mother.

They couldn’t help it; it was a natural reaction.

“Mother!” Thor grinned and walked over, leaving the door to his wardrobe open.

Frigga smiled as he came over, holding out her hand to kiss his forehead, but she shrieked a moment later when Thor pulled his thick arms around her and began to spin her around.

“Thor!” she laughed, bracing her hands on his shoulders “put me down!”

“Why?” Thor said “I can lift you higher”

Frigga laughed when Thor hoisted her even higher, so that she had to hold on to his shoulders and look down at him.

“Are you done?” she asked

Thor grinned up at her “Maybe”

“Put her down, you brute” Balder said, walking over “You’ll hurt her”

“No” Thor said, letting his mother down “I will never”

Frigga laughed softly as Balder came over and kissed his head. When Thor opened his arms for another hug, she shook her head.

“No” she said “You had your chance, you wasted it”

“Mother…” Thor whined like a child

Frigga choked when his arms came around her again and he hugged her close, clearly not going to let go unless she give him at least a peck on the cheek and after a small struggle, during which Balder was of no help, that was exactly what she did.

“Bother!” she muttered and kissed his cheek “happy?”

Thor beamed and Frigga rolled her eyes at him.

“Won’t you come in, my lady?” Thor asked, waving to his room

Frigga nodded to him, then gave Balder a small glance.

Clearly there was an accord between them because his brother winked at her before pushing off the wall he had been leaning against and went to sit on the balcony.

Thor watched him with a raised brow before turning to his scheming little mother.

“What are you two up to?”

Frigga smiled at him, bracing herself for an argument or tantrum. Hopefully it would be the first because he already scared Asgard underground with the latter not even an hour ago.

“You Father left to decline the offer for your hand”

Thor knew this was what she wanted to talk about, but he couldn’t help the twinge of disappointment that went through him when she confirmed his thinking.

“Mother…”

She raised a hand “I ask you nothing except for this – come with me and I will show you something. That is all”

It seemed like a reasonable request and Thor had yet to disobey his mother, so he nodded and let her guide him to the hallway and out.

Balder didn’t know where they went, but he waited for more than half an hour before the clouds began to thunder.

His lips tightened and he turned back to leave in case his brother warranted privacy, but as he reached the doors, Thor slammed back in with his gaze fixed on the floor.

Balder stopped uncertainly “Brother?”

Thor exhaled and spoke without lifting his gaze.

“You owe me congratulations” Thor said in a flat tone “I am to be wed soon”

Balder’s mouth hung open and a thousand questions ran through his mind, but he asked not a single one of them because Thor strode off into his bedchamber and slammed the door shut loud enough to have the sound resonated through the entire Royal Apartments.

***

That had been then, now, Thor waited in the home of an unknown giant as his intended looked upon him with a mixture of horror and distaste.

It made Thor’s mouth quirk in humor, the stunned looki on Loki’s face.

Loki couldn’t believe it, he _wouldn’t_ believe it. This was some sort of mistake because it was _Balder_ who was coming for him not this brute.

One look at Jarnsaxa and Hrym and he found them as shocked as he.

He turned to Byleistr, and he found nothing there – absolute impassivity.

He didn’t care about this, he didn’t care that Loki was shocked or that he felt so utterly _betrayed_ by this trick.

He didn’t want to marry Thor, it was the worst mistake in the history of the nine realms!

“Loki”

Loki flinched, eyes going to Thor when the man spoke.

He was smiling, damn him! He knew what Loki had expected and now he took joy in disappointing him.

“You are Loki, are you not?” Thor asked, amused

Loki didn’t reply. His tongue seemed to have stopped moving and all he heard was his screaming heart.

Byleistr cleared his throat from behind Thor and glared at him warningly.

Loki swallowed and nodded.

Thor extended a hand for Loki’s and Loki found himself wanting to take a step back, pulling his hands closer to his body, he just stared up at this brute that had managed to make himself such a problem to him.

When Thor raised a brow and dropped his arm, Byleistr decided to step in.

“Shock, is all” he chuckled, walking past Thor to go and stand beside Loki.

When his back was to Thor, his expression unseen, he gave Loki a deadly warning glare before coming to place a hand on Loki’s shoulder.

Loki didn’t wince when his shoulder was squeezed so hard he thought he would break it but he couldn’t help but shiver.

“He is in disbelief at his luck” Byleistr told Thor.

Thor clearly didn’t believe him, but he gave Loki a small glance, seeing the truth in Loki’s eyes.

“Go on, Loki” Byleistr chuckled “to your prince”

Loki gasped when Byleistr all but shoved him forward and stumbled farther than he intended.

Thor’s eyes widened a moment before Loki fell on him and he caught him as he hit his armored chest, his arms going around him.

Loki was panting in his fear, his head lowered and turned aside, eyes lowered to the floor as he desperately tried not to push Thor away like he wanted to.

His heart was beating against Thor’s and Thor realized his own had sped up as well.

Because, as he stood chest to chest with this man, it dawned upon Thor that Loki was _stunningly_ beautiful. And the scent that assailed him made him tighten his hands around Loki till the other stiffened before he let go.

Loki stumbled back, breath still broken and ragged. He didn’t glance at Thor and the crowned prince realized he was trying to delude himself into thinking this wasn’t happening.

Thor looked at Byleistr and saw a strange intense, glee in his gaze that made him want to punch him right in the face.

One look around told him the other two Jotuns felt the same.

But he wasn’t here to see the drama that was clearly unfolding before him, he was here to take Loki.

“So, Trickster” Thor took a vicious delight in seeing Loki flinch under his new name “ready to leave?”

Loki couldn’t tell him how _not_ ready he was to leave, but there was absolutely _nothing_ he could do but nod at him.

He hadn’t even spoken to Thor yet and though the man didn’t seem to mind, Loki could sense his brother’s disapproval behind his back.

He knew Bylesitr wasn’t stupid; he wouldn’t do anything stupid while Thor was here, so he nodded once more, then blinked when Thor offered him his arm as though he was a woman.

And Loki took it, because he didn’t want his brother to find and excuse to harm him and let Thor lead him out into the Jotun winter.

He kept his gaze lowered as Thor guided him out he had a good enough view of the hammer Thor wielded.

For a terrifying moment, Loki thought that was how Thor intended to take him to Asgard and looked up, trying to form words without crying.

But all words left him when he saw there was a small posse outside, waiting for their soon to be king.

Loki recognized Fandral and Volstagg standing next to a large, empty carriage. His mouth turned down when he realized it was for his things.

The other two, a beautiful woman with black hair and a grim looking man stared at him as he observed them, thinking them over in his mind as Thor walked them both ahead. Behind him, he heard his brother and Jarnsaxa talking in their native tongue.

Jarnsaxa wanted an explanation and Byleistr told him to know his place.

Loki worried something violent was about to happen so he didn’t notice when his fingers dug into Thor’s muscled bicep.

Thor gave a chuckle and removed Loki’s hand from his arm “Worry not, Trickster, I shall not ravish you here”

That did _nothing_ to ease Loki’s mind as he was nudged forward, and made to stand, facing the strange people before him.

“Loki Laufeyson” Thor bellowed “Meet my friends. The beautiful Lady Sif and the Warriors Three;

Fandral, Volstagg you know and this is Hogun”

“Your Majesty” Fandral bowed low, making Loki give him a small smile and a nod.

Volstagg laughed and bowed as well while Hogun simply nodded.

Sif jerked her head at him “Prince Loki”

They had smiled at him but Sif remained aloof. Loki wished it was just the way she was, that it wasn’t because of what he had done that made him look upon him so.

But he was disappointed and forced to look away when Sif glared at him, letting him know of her distrust.

“This” Thor gestured ahead “Is Darcy”

Loki looked up and his jaw almost dropped when he saw the beautiful white horse standing in the snow before him. He hadn’t seen this one in the war and it made sense because she was so beautiful Thor hadn’t wanted her to be harmed.

“Darcy” Loki whispered and almost moved to touch.

But at the last moment, he realized he probably shouldn’t and pulled back, once more standing beside Thor.

“So” Thor grinned to his friends “Have his things been taken?”

“Almost” Fandral lied before gesturing to the other two and going to get Loki’s things.

Loki looked back at them, at a total loss. He didn’t want to go with Thor; he didn’t want to marry him at all. He wanted to run away from all this.

He turned his head and looked for Jarnsaxa but deflated when he saw only his brother glaring at him.

Glaring and gesturing him to get on the horse with Thor and go ruin his life.

Loki bit his lip and fisted his hand to stop himself from falling in the snow and crying like a child. Then he looked at Thor and the woman, Sif, beside him. They were, in turn, watching him and talking.

Immediately, Loki felt like an outsider as he watched them, talking in a language he didn’t understand.

He almost flinched when Thor turned to him.

“You are not afraid of horses, are you?”

Loki shook his head even thought Thor knew the answer “Of course not, I love them”

“Good, then hop on” Thor patted the saddle “My friends will get your belongings safely into Asgard, don’t worry”

It was a simple request but it sounded like Thor had asked him to extend his neck so he could lop his head off. Licking his lips, Loki stepped forward, back straight, shoulders stiff, and went to the horse.

He placed one hand on the saddle and was about to get up when two large hands came around his waist and hoisted him effortlessly up before plopping him into the saddle.

He looked down and his face reddened in shame when he saw Thor wink at him and getting on the horse _behind_ Loki.

Loki gave an indignant yelp “What…?”

Thor chuckled, almost resting his large, stupid head on Loki’s shoulder as he looked at him “You didn’t think you were coming alone, did you?”

Loki shied away from him, but found himself in a constricted space when both of Thor’s hands came from around him to hold the reins.

“Hold on to something” Thor growled in his ear and slapped the reins.

Loki looked behind him, in the hopes that by some miracle his brother would save him and keep him with him rather than send him with this brute.

But all Loki saw was the smile on Byleistr’s face and the wave he gave Loki as Thor jerked the horse into movement, forcing Loki to grab at the seat under him and close his eyes against the tears that threatened to spill down his cheeks.

***

Byleistr let loose the breath he was holding when Thor took his brother away.

He had done it …

He had finally done something right and he was proud of his little brother. He had seen Loki’s desire to run and escape and he saw the desperate look he had given him over his shoulders.

And a part of him, the one he long thought dead, actually wanted to bring his brother back.

But sacrifices had to be made and Thor had taken the choice from his hands when he made his horse gallop and take his brother away.

Loki was better off there, anyway.

“You are a true monster”

Byleistr closed his eyes and turned to the man behind him.

Jarnsaxa wanted to beat the life out of him, he knew. He had grown close to Loki and he didn’t like the idea of the boy being sold like this.

“How could you do this to him?!” Jarnsaxa rasped, aware of the men that were taking Loki’s belongings away.

Byleistr shrugged “Easily enough. Why are you upset? You knew he was getting married”

“To Balder” Jarnsaxa said “not _Thor_. The man hates us, how do you think he will treat Loki?”

Byleistr shrugged “He’ll survive”

Jarnsaxa would have hit him them had Hrym not arrived, his own eyes filled with grief, but his mouth shut firmly. He placed a hand on Jarnsaxa’s shoulder before turning to the prince before them.

“Will you be attending the wedding, then?” Hrym asked

“I shall be taking Loki’s things to him” Byleistr said “he has his books, after all”

Jarnsaxa made and angry noise, shook his lover off and walked into the house.

Inside, Fandral and Volstagg lifted two trunks and carried them out, ready to be placed in the carriage that awaited them. Hogun dragged a large chest that held all of Loki’s books forward, not a sign of strain on his face.

Jarnsaxa ignored them and went upstairs, ready to tear something apart. Hrym ran on after him, muttering to himself, then racing up the stairs to console his angry lover.

“Me thinks” Fandral said “we should hurry. Before the tension escalates”

“Aye” Volstagg said as he hoisted the trunk over his shoulders and jerked his head to another “get the lad’s other things, boy, stop staring at me”

Fandral nodded and went to do as he was told.

Outside, Sif stood staring after Thor as he left.

With his cape so brilliant, he was a clear target in case someone attacked and those Jotuns that had guarded them here were long gone, no longer interested in protecting them.

She turned her head when her friends came back and grinned at them “Are you done with the young princess’ pretty clothes?”

“Oh, my lady” Fandral said as he placed the trunk in the cart “I sense thorns”

Sif scoffed “I do not trust that Jotun”

“He has done nothing to offend thee, fair maiden” Fandral said, leaning against the cart

“He tried to kill our prince, that is enough for me”

“Sif…”

“Forget it, lad” Volstagg said, slapping Fandral’s shoulder “The lady is set in her ways, will do you no good trying to convince her otherwise. What _can_ lead to good is finishing up our work, then leaving for the wedding”

Fandral sighed dramatically “Ah, the life of a dashing…”

“Fandral…” Sif began in warning

“Going…” the man spun on his heel and went back, greeting Hogun as he came over with Loki’s books.

“I do not trust the Jotun” Hogun announced

Sif scoffed “Neither do I”

“Not Loki” Hogun said, looking back at the house “his brother. He has something planned, I know it”

Sif waved a hand at him “Let Odin deal with him. The All Father will know if deception is afoot”

Hogun hummed but looked back over his shoulder at the house, listening to the argument going on inside.

“Hoy, Fandral!” Volstagg called “Did the chest best you?!”

“Never!” Fandral called from within “I got distracted”

 _What_ could have distracted him, they didn’t know, nor did they really care.

What they did care about was the fact that they were all in enemy territory and that even though they were currently under diplomatic immunity, those Jotuns could attack them at any moment.

“Better hurry” Volstagg said as sounds of an argument finally break from the home.

A moment later, Fandral arrived carrying the trunk on his shoulders and holding a small bag ion one hand.

“Done!” he smiled and placed them in the carriage “We should leave”

Sif frowned “What happened?”

Fandral exhaled before looking at the house “Loki’s brother is a bastard”

They frowned and demanded answers but he shook his head and gestured to the cart.

“On the way home, I promise” he said as he got in and gave the horses a jolt to wake.

The others, left with little choice, followed on their own steeds.

They kept giving glances back to the house and only when they were a good mile away, did they hear an angry yell echoing over to them.

***

Darcy was tiring now, Loki could sense it.

She had a long gallop here and now she had to take two men on her back. It was unfair to the animal and she had slowed her gait considerably.

And either Thor ignored it or hadn’t noticed, either way, he was watching the land ahead and not paying attention to his poor horse.

Loki, of course noticed and wanted to give the horse a rest, but that would require actually _talking_ to

Thor and he didn’t really want to do that.

The man had been a little too happy to see him and it worried Loki.

Unaware of it, Loki raised a hand to touch Darcy’s neck and patted her softly. Her ears pricked backwards but she didn’t really do anything else.

Thor chuckled behind him and Loki pulled his hand back instantly, not wanting to be something Thor paid attention to.

Thor didn’t say anything but he made Darcy turn and trot off the trail and onto the sides where a whole set of thick trees and jagged rocks lined the path to the bifrost. It was jagged and the poor mare stumbled a few times, prompting Loki to grab onto the saddle with both hands and giving a startled gasp when one of Thor’s thick arms came to support him around the waist.

Loki didn’t say anything, though he wanted to throw the arm off and run into the forest. He knew the land, he could still go back and take up on Jarnsaxa’ offer.

Living his life on the run sounded much more pleasant when compared to the life lived next to Thor.

The landscape finally evened out and Loki gave a relieved sigh, waiting for Thor let him go so he could sit as far away from him as possible.

But Thor didn’t let go, in fact he held him tighter, and Loki began to grow worried.

He gave a few discreet pushes but Thor didn’t get the message and Loki opened his mouth to speak.

“Odin … Odinson” he cleared his throat and added pressure to Thor’s arm “Let go, I have my balance”

Thor’s laughter rumbled behind him and he retracted his hand.

“I was beginning to wonder if you could talk” Thor said “perhaps I had gotten another Loki instead of you”

 _No,_ Loki thought, _I’m not that fortunate_.

“Though you didn’t really talk when we last met, did you?”

Why that sent chills up Loki’s spine, he didn’t know, but he had to control a shudder when Thor said those words.

He went silent once more and looked to where they were going.

Darcy had her head lowered, his mouth nuzzling at the ground and Loki knew what she needed.

“Stop” he said before thinking “I know what she needs”

Surprised and curious, Thor stopped and Loki jumped off the horse before going to her head and grabbing her reins, making her look up.

Loki clicked his tongue and ran his hand down her head in affection before he led her a little way off.

Thor watched as he was taken along for the ride, raising an eyebrow when Loki paused at a flat plane of land and scuffed it with his toe. Then he reached down and moved the snow about before rubbing his palm on white, exposed ground and raising it to Darcy’s lips.

The horse sniffed his hand and tried to lick at it but the reins stopped her.

Loki blinked, looked at the reins before looking at Thor.

“You should take these off” Loki muttered

Thor nodded and hopped off, coming over to take the bit from Darcy’s mouth. He looked at him when Loki jumped away from him, then back at what he was doing.

As soon as she was free, Darcy burred and came over to Loki, nuzzling his hand before licking it.

Loki made a slightly disgusted face before wiping it on Darcy when she was done and leading her back to the patch he had cleared.

“Salt” Thor smirked at him “Clever, Trickster”

Loki nodded and moved closer to Darcy, resting his head against her as he stood next to her and letting himself forget.

“Would you take a walk with me while she is busy?” Thor asked him, eyes on a large collection of tall trees a few yards off.

It wasn’t a request and Loki wanted to deny it instantly.

But he had little to no choice when Thor extended a hand and sort of shouting at him that he wanted to be as far away from him as possible, Loki couldn’t do anything but take the offered hand and let Thor lead him off.

He didn’t try to extract his hand but he kept giving Darcy looks as the mare licked the salt off the Jotun ground.

“You know, Loki” Thor said, head raised as he looked at the very tops of the trees he led Loki into “I have a bone to pick with you”

Loki froze.

Dread shone on his features when Thor turned back to look at him.

How could he not see this coming!? Thor taking him into the forest, a nice, secluded place where no one would ever find him!?

Or hear him.

He _knew_ Thor was someone that kept grudges, he just knew it.

Loki swallowed heavily as he looked at Thor’s small smile.

The bastard knew what he was doing.

That why he was holding Loki’s hand so tightly.

“You didn’t think I forgot, did you?”

Loki pulled at his hand, but Thor yanked on it, making him stumble and fall into his arms again. This time, Loki pushed and shoved and panted in fear when Thor didn’t let go, instead, fitting his large head right beside Loki’s and speaking in his ear as he held him in that deadly embrace.

“My father may have forgiven what you did to me, but I won’t” Thor whispered “Weeks I lay in agony because of you, Loki, wishing to die so that I didn’t have to take the pain you induced on me”

“No!” Loki pushed at his shoulders but Thor was so strong he held him harder and crushed his back till it popped painfully.

Loki gasped in agony.

“I was denied my vengeance because my father thought it well” Thor went on “but he is not here nor can he see me at the moment, so I want you to listen very carefully”

Loki gave an exerted cry and failed to move Thor, closing his eyes when Thor turned his lips to Loki’s neck.

“I will not rest until you have experienced at least a modicum of the pain I did” Thor said “this is not peace, this is revenge, Loki…”

Loki gasped when he managed to shove Thor off and turned to run.

He gave a pained cry when Thor seized his wrist and halted him.

Loki didn’t turn, but he pulled at his arm, keeping his back to Thor as the man spoke in a deadly voice, which gave Loki sympathy for his enemies.

“You tried to kill me and got away with it. I won’t stand for it”

“This is not fair!” Loki said loudly

Thor chuckled “No, unfair is being punished as severely as I was for your mistake. You were the one that did wrong, not me, Loki, and you went off unscathed while I lay being buried alive in the snow!”

Loki yelped when Thor released him and he fell into the snow, immediately turning to keep Thor in sight.

“Not today, I will not harm you” Thor told him “You are not mine, yet. But the moment you are, the moment you say ‘I do’, you will belong to me and _nothing_ is going to save you from my retribution”

“No!” Loki gasped

Thor scoffed “That was the first thing I said when my saddle slipped off that day. But let me tell you something, Loki. No matter how many times you say that word, it still happens. What you dread the most in that moment still happens and you are left, crying in agony and weeping because you can see you life pass you by and there is nothing you can do about it! So stop saying that word; it will do you no good”

Loki’s breath materialized before him in broken stutters and he watched Thor with fright in his eyes.

Thor sighed and stepped to the side

“This is the only chance I give you to run, Loki”

Loki looked up, stunned.

He knew he heard him right, but he couldn’t believe this was happening.

“After this, you will be trapped” Thor told him “One chance to escape the life I have planned for you”

“Why?” Loki rasped

Thor sighed and looked at him before he walked away

“Because I might be as trapped as you are”

Loki watched him go with shock written on his face.

He looked to the side, at the freedom Jotunhiem presented him with, then at Thor and his red cape.

He bit his lip and came to a decision.

Thor was almost done preparing Darcy when he heard the footsteps approach him hesitantly.

He raised his head but didn’t look when Loki came up behind him, hands clasped before him.

“So be it” Thor said before climbing onto his horse and holding out a hand for Loki to take.

There was only the slightest hesitation before Loki took his hand and came to sit before him once more and gallop to his doom.

***

Thor didn’t think he would ever know such agony.

He didn’t think he would have such a heavy load on his heart that he would be forced to fall on his knees and scrabble for purchase only to have his hand batted away, broken and beaten.

That was what it felt like when he thought of Jane.

No reprieve, no break from the gut wrenching agony he was forced to take as he buttoned up his tunic, white as show with gold laces meeting in the middle and a gold band around his collar. The full sleeves buttoned at the ends and Thor did so with an angry twist of his fingers before going to lift his crown.

The very one his betrothed had stolen.

As he placed it on his combed back hair and looked upon his reflection.

He looked like a prince, but he felt like a slave. The crown seemed like a vice over his head that slowly kept crushing his skull and the gold he put on felt like shackles. His hand went to his reflection and he fisted it, wanting to punch this lie out of him.

 _Why did Loki come back? Why did he damn him when Thor gave him the chance to run and escape and find another life for them both? Why had he damned them both!?_  

Thor growled and thunder rumbled up above in agreement.

Thor wasn’t ready for this, but after what his mother had shown him …

Thor had seen many things others would have thought impossible, he had battled with creatures his Midgardian friends wouldn’t believe and he had won at odds no one with basic common sense would deem possible, but this …

What changed his mind _had_ to be something even _he_ would deem a miracle.

A knock sounded at his door and Thor turned, thick red velvet cape spinning with him, the lights shining on the gold lining.

Balder, looking extremely handsome in his grey and black ensemble smiled at him, the light glinting off his own silver crown, a thick band with diamonds studded into it, making it glow.

“Nervous, brother?” Balder asked

Usually, Thor would laugh and scoff at him, asking him if he had _ever_ known him to be nervous.

But not tonight; tonight, he was making one of the greatest sacrifices he would ever make for his kingdom.

And he had no desire to.

His heart hurt so badly he thought he was going to die at any moment and his mind screamed at him, called him a traitor to the one he loved and the one he could never had.

Thor didn’t feel like he had honored Jane’s memory enough and this wedding seemed like a slap to his face. He wasn’t done in his mourning.

Damn Loki, damn his greedy brother, damn Odin, damn _everyone_!

Thor exhaled and looked at his brother

“I am not nervous, Balder” he said softly “I am devastated”

Balder was surprised before he sighed and came over “Thor…”

“I don’t want this, I don’t want to do this” Thor told him “I don’t want to spend my life with someone like him, I am not even attracted to him, how can mother think this will work?”

Balder didn’t respond. He came over to fix Thor’s cape, arrange it over his powerful shoulders with brotherly care.

“I know this is for Asgard,” Thor frowned “for peace, but …”

“Perhaps” Balder cut in gently “If you stop looking at it so badly, your pain will decrease into nothing”

Thor looked at Balder as the other straightened his crown.

“Those that have their fates chosen, like yours is” Balder told him “are special. It means the universe knows they are destined for greatness and came to place you on a path to guaranteed success.”

Balder grabbed Thor’s head and lowered it to kiss his forehead.

“Know that my blessings are with you on the day you prove yourself to one and all that you are not only the greatest warrior, but will become a king that will surpass even Odin’s greatness”

Thor closed his eyes and held onto his brother’s wrists for a moment, just to gain enough of his strength, before stepping back and giving Balder a small smirk.

“I still wish you had taken him” Thor said “He’s just like you, frail… delicate”

Balder shoved him a little, his face going sad

“I wouldn’t have minded it, to be honest” he said “but you know why I …”

Thor placed a hand over Balder’s shoulder and nodded “Aye.”

No words were needed, and though it lifted his mood slightly, it didn’t really alleviate the sorrow he felt at his own crippling fault.

Because Balder the Brave, the god of Light and the pride of Asgard…

Was unable to have children.

And it was that devastating fault, that misfortune, that barred the throne to him all those years ago and though he said it was fine and that he had long since accepted it, Thor still saw such grief and sorrow in

Balder’s eyes that it tore at his heart.

It had nearly taken their family part once, and they had managed to salvage enough to bring them back and keep them closer forever.

It was a dark thing between them and nothing good came from addressing it.

So Thor gave his brother’s shoulder another squeeze and stepped back, arms extended.

“How do I look?”

Balder smiled at how brave his brother was being at the moment, because he saw right beneath the façade and the mask he had on and saw that Thor was scared out of his mind at the moment.

“Like a prince” Balder smiled at him.

Thor rolled his eyes at him before giving himself another small glance and inhaling deeply.

“Well then” he said, turning and grabbing a box off the dressing table “Let’s get this done with”

Balder chuckled and bowed, motioning Thor ahead and squawking in surprise when Thor stole his crown off his head and ran out the door.

No one minded that their full grown, warrior princes were acting like children while dressed in their best and on the precipice of a royal wedding.

***

“Are you done?”

Loki flinched when he heard his brother enter the room and gently closed the door of the bathing room he occupied.

“Not yet” he said as he reopened it a crack and saw Byleistr look around for something big enough to hold him before growling and sitting cross-legged on the floor.

He wore his ceremonial jewels.

Where he had kept them, Loki didn’t know, nor did he know how long he had them locked up and safe.

He had a desire to ask if Byleistr had saved his, but something told him he wouldn’t like the answer.

“Hurry up, then” Byleistr said “the sooner you are wed, the sooner I can have an official meeting and discuss the plans for their army’s arrival in our land”

 _Of course, because that was what today was about_.

It wasn’t about Loki sacrificing himself for his brother or wedding a monster that was going to tear him in two tonight.

Loki closed his eyes shut and placed a hand over his mouth to stop himself from crying.

He had never been intimate with anyone, never even held _hands_ with someone romantically! How was he supposed to survive a night with a man like Thor?

“Loki?”

Loki gasped and took his hand away before taking a deep breath “ A moment”

Byleistr growled at the unnecessary delay and sat back on his hands.

“We are almost there, brother” he spoke

 _We_? Loki thought as he dried himself from his bath and walked to where his wedding clothes hung.

This was not the life he wanted…

“We will have achieved everything Father lost” Byleistr went on “Farbauti will lose all his allies when they see the Aesir army under my control. And then, when everything will be done, when Farbauti and

Helbindi have been dealt with …

 _Killed_ …

Loki lifted the black tunic and donned it as he listened to his brother.

“I shall have the casket because you, as the new Queen of Asgard will hand it to me in a gesture of peace and trust”

 _Queen_!?

Loki’s eyes filled with angry tears and he angrily shoved his trousers on.

He was no _woman_! And Byleistr knew this! His brother was cruel to him on purpose.

Wiping his eyes, Loki lifted off the long, emerald and gold cape before realizing they had given him an overcoat as well.

He donned it without a word, buttoned it up and pulled the cape over his shoulders.

“Then I shall finally rule that which had been so long denied to me”

Loki snapped the cape in place and walked out without looking at himself.

Byleistr gave him a judging look before he nodded and turned to riffle through something he had with him.

When he extended a tiny box to Loki, the green eyed man frowned.

“What is this?” he opened it and saw a thick gold band inside.

“Father intended on wedding your mother before she passed” Byleistr told him in an almost gentle voice “this was the ring she made for him”

Loki looked up at his brother in disbelief, his mouth almost hanging open.

“I will have no use for it because it will not fit me” Byleistr said “wear it with honor, Loki”

And for a moment, just a moment, Loki had his brother back.

He closed the box and stepped forward, laying his head against his brother as he embraced him.

Byleistr looked down and raised a hand to run down Loki’s back, allowing this small moment before he stepped back.

“Move, Loki” he said, nudging the groom to the door “Your future awaits.

And the moment shattered because reality was harsh and gave nothing.

Loki bit his lips to keep himself from talking, pocketed his father’s ring and walked ahead, letting his gold clad brother follow him as he went to his doom.

***

It was held in the very hall that had held Thor’s coronation.

People filled the hall, humming and talking to themselves, introducing sons to daughters and men to women. Everyone was dressed gaily and everyone was anxious to see the bride Prince Thor had taken.

No one had seen her, but they knew she was Jotun.

Word had spread of her beauty and inquiries made about how Thor would couple with the monster woman Odin had imported from afar.

They talked freely and made no secret of their curiosity.

So, as he leant against the door, opened a sliver, Loki could hear them all.

A few bold men had been making wagers about the time it would take Loki to walk after Thor was done with him and that made him shudder in fear.

Images flashed into his mind and Loki has to close his eyes against them.

Images of Thor pinning him down, forcing his legs open and ramming in, images of Loki screaming in agony as Thor made him bleed from the most intimate place of his anatomy, images of Loki curled up and bleeding and dying when Thor was finished and went away while Loki lay crippled.

He gasped loudly and squeezed his eyes shut, willing them away.

He didn’t need this, not now. He bit the back of his finger and took a deep, deep breath.

It didn’t help him and he had the urge to turn and run away.

Opening his eyes, Loki looked behind him to see a servant studying him carefully. When the he saw Loki staring back at him, he hastily looked away and left Loki alone again.

“Your majesty?”

Because he was so unused to the title, it took Loki a moment to spin around and face the young woman that stood next to him.

She was beautiful.

Blonde hair, large blue eyes and skin like glowing honey.

Loki didn’t realize he was staring at her, eye wide, until she giggled and looked away.

Loki blinked, embarrassed, and a bright flush came upon his cheeks when he looked away, clearing his throat.

“I’m … forgive me” he muttered

She waved a hand at him “Nothing to forgive. I intruded, not you.”

Loki looked at her when she extended a hand to him.

“I’m Sigyn”

Loki took her hand and bowed over it, kissing her knuckles “Loki. um … _Prince_ Loki”

He would never get used to saying that, so it sounded awkward between them.

“I know” she smiled “Everyone knows who  you are, though no one has the pleasure of meeting you”

She turned her head to the doors “They are all talking about you”

Loki grimaced “I heard”

Sigyn looked at him, at his turned down mood and inhaled before speaking

“Don’t …” she began “don’t let them bother you, Your Majesty. They speak this way because their minds cannot go beyond such things. Limited, they are”

Loki looked at her but said nothing.

“And don’t let them make you feel like you are something other than a prince” she said “hold your head high, keep your shoulders back and look at them right in the eye as you walk and take your place above them”

Loki smirked at her “You speak out of experience, my lady?”

“Nay” Sigyn smiled, turning away “Observance”

Loki felt his lips twitch nodded to her “You are…”

“Loki!”

Sigyn noticed the nervousness that came over Loki when his brother came and discreetly made her exit.

When Loki looked back to her, she was gone.

“Byleistr” Loki said, turning to his brother.

The Jotun looked down at him “Thor is to be at the altar in a few moments, compose yourself well and I shall await you at…”

“You wont give me away?” Loki asked sharply, nerves taking over

Byleistr shook his head “Nay, I shall stand alongside Balder. They should know I am royalty”

“But …”

“Silence, Loki” he nearly snapped “you will have Asgard’s greatest warriors to escort you”

Fanfare sounded outside

“He’s here” Byleistr said, looking at the doors “I shall see you there”

“Byleistr, wait!” Loki called as his brother jogged outside, ignoring him completely.

Loki’s hands fell to his sides in helplessness.

He was all alone.

“Prince Loki!”

Loki flinched and turned back to see Fandral, Volstagg and the other he didn’t recall the name of at the moment, approach.

Fandral smiled at him “So, ready to …”

He broke off at Loki’s apprehensive expression, the sheen of tears over his brilliant eyes. He looked to Volstagg and Hogun and jerked his head to the side, asking for privacy.

They nodded, cleared their throats and made excuses to be on the other side of the room.

“Loki?” Fandral approached “What’s the matter? Nerves get the better of you?”

Loki didn’t respond, he looked at his boots and shook his head.

“Well, that’s not true, is it?” Fandral laughed softly, placing a hand on Loki’s shoulder “It’s going to be alright, you know”

“My brother left me” Loki whispered

Fandral looked helplessly at him before he gave his friends a glance and turned back.

“That’s not something to be sad about” Fandral began “He’s right there, on the other side of the door. All you have to do is walk”

Loki didn’t seem to get better, so Fandral sighed.

“Tell you what” Fandral said, tapping his shoulder and making him look up “For each step you take with us, I shall tell you one of Volstagg’s embarrassing secrets”

“Mind you!” Volstagg called from behind.

Loki looked at him and gave a small chuckle.

Fandral grinned at him, all charm “There, now. A smile. I take that as a ‘yes’?”

Loki nodded “Thank you”

“No bother” Fandral clapped his shoulder “Now, did you know that once we caught dear old Volstagg napping under a boar after a night of carousing?”

“Fandral!”

Loki laughed at them before looking at the doors.

They didn’t seem imposing anymore and he took a deep breath.

“Ready?”

Loki shook his head “I never will be. But let’s go”

“That’s the spirit!” Fandral gestured to his friends “Come along!”

They stood beside him and behind him.

Fandral winked at him before promising another secret and Loki shook his head.

Even if all of Asgard hated him, he might just have these three as company.

***

Thor didn’t even turn when the doors opened behind him.

He kept his eyes focused on the carved, golden altar before him and inhaled deeply to calm his rapidly beating heart.

He had known that all famous kings of Asgard had given sacrificed something; eyes, hands feet and… others. But his sacrifice seemed – unfair.

Because Thor was sacrificing his heart.

And it scared him terribly.

There was a respectful hush where only the music wafted to his ears.

He closed his eyes and a small prayer went from his lips

“Forgive me, Jane”

He felt they procession coming in, closing into him and he felt his throat constrict when he was meant to turn and bring Loki up the dais before their father.

Odin, who Thor had avoided in his anger, looked every bit the king he was. Silver and gold with his magnificent crown on his head, he looked down at his son and his soon to be consort as they neared each other.

Thor felt Fandral and the others behind him and opened his eyes, giving Balder a small glance before he turned.

Loki looked like he was going to flee at a given moment and when Thor extended his hand, he saw him give his brother an uncertain glance.

Byleistr’s reaction Thor missed, but he saw the way something died in Loki when he extended his pale hand, letting Thor pull him up beside him.

Fandral walked to stand beside Balder, arms crossed before him.

“Did you cheer him up?” Balder muttered

Fandral nodded “Just as you asked, Your Highness”

“Thank you, my friend”

Fandral smiled but remained silent as he watched Thor lead Loki up the dais and kneeling before the All Father for the binding.

“Thor Odinson”

The entire hall fell silent when Odin spoke and his voice carried high, echoing to the farthest.

“My heir”

Balder looked to the ground.

“Loki Laufeyson”

Loki took a deep breath, his hand shaking as Thor held it.

“Son of my late friend” Odin said “true prince of Jotunhiem”

Loki swallowed.

Byleistr smirked and crossed his arms, his chain adorned biceps flexing.

“Know that what you vow here will last you for eternity”

Thor took a deep breath and focused on the floor. His hand flexed over Loki’s and the other winced a little.

“Thor, before all Asgard, before the royal family and honored warriors” Odin looked at his son “Do you vow to take care of Loki, to have as your own, to protect, to give and to honor and respect till the end of your days?”

_No, I do not_

“I vow”

“And do you swear to keep him safe and give him justice and uphold the honor he bestows upon you?”

“I swear”

“And do you swear to protect all that he gives you, all that is him?”

“I swear” Thor said loud enough for everyone to hear.

Odin turned to Loki.

“And do you, Loki” he said “swear, as you stand before all Asgard and your royalty and ours, that you will serve, obey, honor and care for Thor?”

_Serve … obey …_

What a contrast between them, Loki noticed.

“I swear”

Odin nodded “Then place your vows upon each other and seal it”

Thor dropped Loki’s hand and stood, reaching for the ring he had with him. Loki did the same and the two faced each other.

“I, Thor Odinson” Thor said “take you, Loki Laufeyson, as my wedded. To cherish and honor till death do us part”

He took Loki’s shaking hand and placed his ring on his finger.

Loki gulped before lifting his own ring “I, Loki … Laufeyson, take you, Thor Odinson, as my intended, my cherished king and my partner till … till death do us part”

He guided his father’s ring on Thor’s thick finger, trying not to think of the strength in his hands.

“Then I, Odin All Father, King of Asgard, proclaim that from this day forth, you are wed, husband and consort, serving Asgard for as long as she needs you”    

A roar of applause rose to the high ceiling and Loki closed his eyes, blocking out the moment.

It was done.

He was done.

***

The feasting lasted for so long into the night, Loki’s head had started to droop. His eyes fluttered every now and then and it was only when he heard a chuckle next to him that he turned and looked.

“Your Majesty!” Loki shot to his feet, legs shaking, when Frigga stood before him.

It was the first time he had seen her and he found her utterly beautiful.

Her hair was spun gold and her eyes were so soft that Loki felt something shift inside him.

“Worry not, you had a long day” she laughed “sit”

Loki fell back into the chair and watched as Frigga sat beside him, sitting in the seat Thor should have been in.

But his new husband was lost in the jolly crowd, drinking.

Loki refused to think of what it meant for him.

“I noticed you had almost nothing to eat” Frigga said, smiling

Loki nodded to her “I can’t … stomach anything”

She smiled in understanding “Nerves get the best of everyone”

_Aye … nerves_

Loki gulped and lifted his goblet of mead to drink. He blinked, surprised, when Frigga stopped him. He looked at her, confused, and lowered his glass.

“My Queen?”

“I am not oblivious to what worries you, Loki” Frigga smiled at him “and though you are putting on a brave face, and will to until tonight ends, I cannot have you in … pain”

Loki gulped and when Frigga grabbed his hand, he flinched, red in the face.

“Mead will not work well with this” she placed a vial in his hand and closed his fist over it “have it after …”

She bit her lip and Loki saw the torment in her gaze.

She knew Thor was going to rip him apart and he wanted to grab her hand and beg her to stay.

But she had already stood and left and when Loki looked at his hand, he saw a transparent liquid that would no doubt, help him in his time of agony.

“Brother!”

Loki hurriedly stuffed the vial in his pocket and turned to Byleistr.

The Jotun looked pleased and leaned over Loki’s table from the other side, being as tall as he was, it didn’t seem hard for him.

“The Odinson announced that he is ready for bed”

Loki paled “I …”

Byleistr leaned forward and looked into his eyes.

“Nothing matters other than pleasing him, understand?” he rasped “so if you are worried, just lie back, spread your legs and think of Jotunhiem”

“Byleistr!” Loki gasped, mortified and horrified.

“Do not leave him unsatisfied” his brother growled and leaned closer, making Loki lean back “Or you will regret it”

Loki swallowed and blinked back the tears pure fright added to his eyes “Alright…”

“Good” Byleistr leaned back “Sweet dreams”

Loki was shivering badly as Byleistr left, so when two maids came to him, he barely noticed as they took him away to be slaughtered.

***

Loki let them work as he walked out of the bathroom with his thin robes on.

The maids had set a tray of tea at his request and were now turning the bed.

One of them came over to him and handed him the pendant he had dropped without knowing.

“Th- Thank you” he stuttered.

She didn’t say anything, just gave the bed behind him a glance and turned to leave.

“He …” Loki choked “you have had him, then?”

She looked up and blushed, turning away, but Loki grabbed her arm gently.

She turned alarmed eyes to him.

“Will he …” Loki rasped “did he hurt you?”

She bit her lips before speaking “He had no reason to”

Loki gasped softly at her words and she used his still state to let herself out of his grip and leave.

When Loki panicked, he did the worst things.

So, when he was alone, he ran to his chest of potions and began pulling out his bottles. They were a gift from Jarnsaxa and he had learnt most of their effects so there was nothing stopping him.

Grabbing what he needed, he rushed to the pot that held the tea and pulled it open, stuffing the crushed leaves into it and stirring it quickly before setting the lid back and throwing the empty bottle away.

Then he went to sit in a seat, his heart hammering within his chest, trying to escape.

He had calmed himself enough to not flinch when Thor entered, his own gown tightly on his muscled form.

His blue eyes roved Loki’s body as he stood and Thor walked over.

“Tea?” Loki asked before Thor could speak and Thor paused, frowning.

He had a keg of ale or two, so tea might do him some good.

As much as he wanted to hurt Loki, this wouldn’t be the way to do it. Thor wasn’t a barbarian. He wanted to be gentle with him at the moment.

Because Thor liked to touch Loki and that night at the campsite came to him clear as day.

“Do you really think tea will stop this from happening?”

Loki gulped and took a step back when Thor advanced

“N-no” Loki said “but it … it will help me… relax”

Thor paused and sniggered before inclining his head and going to crash into a couch set by the tea table.

“As you wish. Pour me a cup as well, then”

Loki tried not to thank his stars or spill the tea because he expected Thor to grab him at any given moment and throw him on the bed to spoil.

Loki almost dropped the pot and he caught Thor’s laughter at his nervousness.

“S-sugar?” Loki asked

“One” Thor said, gracefully accepting the tea and sitting back, waiting for Loki to be done with his.

Loki sat as far as possible, ready to bolt should Thor get rough. The bottle Frigga gave him was safe in his pocket and he took strength from it.

“So, how did you like the meal?” Thor asked, sipping tea.

Loki realized he was toying with him, successfully intimidating him, and pretended to sip his own drink.

“Fine”  

Thor hummed and silence fell for a long time as one waited for the other to do something.

Each was lost in their thinking, or staring, so when Thor placed his cup down and stood, Loki startled.

“Stand”

Loki paled, giving the pot a glance before scrambling to his feet, keeping Thor in sights at all times.

“You …” he began

Thor came closer and Loki stepped back

“Your …” Loki gasped when he felt the wall behind his back and Thor right before him. He gave a desperate glance at the table over Thor’s massive shoulder.

_Why weren’t the leaves working?!_

“Tea, I didn’t finish my …”

“You don’t need to” Thor placed his hands on either side of Loki’s head and kissed him.

***

“Thor!”

Loki gasped and turned his head aside, inhaling sharply when Thor’s lips began to mouth at his neck.

“If you … give me a moment” Loki whispered, discreetly pushing at Thor’s shoulders.

His brother’s warning repeated itself in his head but he couldn’t do this … he just couldn’t!

Thor pulled back and looked at him at his averted face and his kiss swollen mouth. He couldn’t resist pulling Loki towards him and kissing him again, easily moving in despite Loki’s struggles.  
“Stop talking” Thor muttered against his mouth and his hands slid downwards, down to Loki’s waist. His experienced fingers found the fastenings of his robe and he pulled it open.

“Wait!” Loki gasped, pushing at his hands “Please, wait a moment, please”

Thor looked at him, into Loki’s emerald eyes and stopped.

There were no signs of Loki’s sleeping herb taking affect and he wondered if he had mixed them up in his panic.

“I … I’ve never done anything” Loki swallowed loudly “like this, please… can we … wait?”

Thor furrowed his brow “Wait? For how long?”

“Three months” Loki blurted out

Thor stared at him as if he was slightly insane.

“Until I get to know you, I …”

“Loki” Thor said, grasping his wrist “no”

Loki paled when Thor led him to the bed.

“Please!” he began to panic again “Thor, I can’t do this … not right now, please”

Thor turned and lifted him into his arms and depositing him on the bed.

Loki bounced there for a moment, the robe lifting high and exposing his long legs before he covered them.

Thor stared, lust glowing in his eyes, before he joined Loki in the bed, grasping his arm to halt his escape.

“I swear” Thor said, nuzzling Loki’s throat “I won’t hurt you… not like this”

Loki gasped and closed his eyes at the failure of his plan.

“Please, not …”

Thor raised a hand to his jaw to turn his face to his for a kiss and Loki squeezed his eyes shut in hopelessness.

But the kiss never came.

Loki cringed when Thor’s body suddenly went limp and lay across his lap. He sat there, panting heavily, waiting for Thor to move, but the man only breathed softly.

Loki couldn’t move, he couldn’t dare move, all he did was stare at the large man sprawled half on him and half off as he sat there half naked.

Then Thor snored and Loki gasped in relief, putting a hand over his mouth.

It had worked.

He couldn’t believe it had worked.

Swallowing, Loki began to pull himself out from under Thor, careful not to rouse him. He slipped out, pulled his robe tighter and leaned against the wall for a moment, hand over his mouth to stop himself from waking Thor.

Thor, who lay like a fish out of water, ungraceful.

He was going to _kill_ Loki when he woke up.

Already he hated him and now Loki had just given him more reason to detest him.

Perfect.

Unless Thor thought he _had_ Loki, perhaps he would leave him alone.

With that in mind, Loki rushed back to his chest and pulled out some tea leaves. They were strong, something he used for his magic, and red.

He crushed some into his cold, left over tea before stirring it.

It colored the tea a bright red, exactly the shade Loki wanted. He carried it carefully back to the bed and leaned over the side he was supposed to use to dab the mixture with his fingers.

But he was nervous and managed to drop a large blot, then another, larger one when he jerked back.

He stared at the huge mess he’d made and bit his lip.

This looked far too big.

But nothing could be done, so Loki went to throw the remaining tea into the drain and came back to sleep on his side, away from Thor and away from the mess he couldn’t help but feel against his backside.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angrboda - the - witch made this.
> 
> God bless her, she's amazing
> 
> http://th06.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2013/225/2/8/dont_touch_by_satanssin-d6hysxe.png


	8. Deception

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor wakes up to a bloody image

It dawned slowly on Asgard, the sun rising from a slowly blushing sky and trailing upwards to its peak as it blanketed the entire city in gold.

Some were awake, milking their animals, picking fruits, fishing and tending to horses, but most of the Aesir were still asleep.

Last night’s celebrations had taken a toll on more than half of Asgard as their beloved prince had been wed. The fact that no one truly liked the new bride was ignored completely in favor of celebration and drinking.

The streets held more than a few passed out bodies and the castle was waking with groans of pain and headaches.

Everyone had done something stupid last night and were waking to regret it.

The Golden Prince himself, was no exception.

Thor woke groggily, groaning as a vicious headache rose within his skull, thumping the sides and trying to get out or make Thor’s head explode. His mouth tasted like he had ash for a whole meal and his vision was slowly, gradually spinning.

Bits and pieces of reality mixed with dreams as his sleep numbed body slowly came back from whatever high it had been in during slumber. Breathing hurt, so Thor took a breath through the mouth, inhaling before exhaling through the nose.

It started to make him feel better and want to open his eyes.

As he lay there, he heard hushed voices, he heard the soft clatter of delicate plates and a tray, he heard shuffling and he heard someone tiptoe into the bathing room.

He thanked the Norns no one had pulled the curtains away when he opened his eyes. He squeezed them shut a moment later and massaged them hoping to get the migraine out from behind them.

He tried recalling last night.

It didn’t come to him in bits and pieces, it came together like a story, starting with sharp, painful emotions and ended in lust induced stupidity.

Thor sat up, moved to lean back against the headrest as he thought about what he had done last night.  
He had betrayed Jane, but that guilt he would indulge in later.

What came to his mind was Loki.

Loki and his milky white skin that was just _begging_ to be touched and tasted and marked. He remembered Loki being frightened as he stood and offering him tea.

Thor remembered drinking the tea because he thought himself drunk, and that was where everything started to break and get difficult to think of.

He could see flashes of images, he saw Loki pressed against the wall, he recalled Loki begging him to stop… he didn’t remember his answer, though … and then came the image of Loki’s bare legs and the desire Thor had to have them wrapped around his waist when he took him.

Thor remembered joining Loki on the bed as he lay there, legs spread out, robe almost off and he remembered wanting to _feel_ that skin against his lips.

Thor blinked, suddenly, when he hit a wall.

He thought consciously about how he had taken Loki and …

Had he even...?

Thor crossed his legs and his skin rubbed against something stiff and scratchy – a wet patch dried over.

Thor felt a smile on his face. Well, that answered one of his questions – he _did_ have Loki. Now all he needed was something to trigger his mind into remembering.

Smirking, Thor grabbed the sheets and pulled them away…

To freeze and gape in mounting horror.

It was a patch of blood there, definitely, but it was _huge_.

Impossibly large.

Monstrously large.

Thor went pale, his eyes huge and terrified.

_Norns above, what had he done to Loki last night!?_

Panting, his breath broken, Thor began to think, began to recall what had happened last night and what… 

What Loki had suffered!

Horrible images came to his mind; Loki screaming in agony as Thor held him down and rammed into him, leaving him bloody. Loki trying to escape him and pleading with him while Thor had both his legs over his shoulders and forcing himself into his bloody entrance.

Loki lying bruised and battered and curled on his side, biting on the back of his fist to stop his sobs from waking Thor – the monster beside him.

They were only his imagination, but Thor went as white as a sheet and grabbed his hair, looking around for signs of Loki.

His own words came back to him.

_I won’t hurt you …_

Thor hadn’t hurt him; he’d mutilated him in the worst way possible.

He had been a _monster_! And Loki, poor Loki, had to bear it because Thor had denied his request to wait.

Wait because Loki hadn’t wanted Thor to…

Panicking, Thor leapt out of bed, his hands fisted in his hair before he put on a robe ran to the bathroom door and pulled it open.

“Loki!” he called, anguish on his face.

But the room was empty.

Taking a shuddering breath, all sorts of gruesome scenarios going through his head in his horror, and ran out of the bedroom, into the royal hallway.

“Loki!” Thor called, his blue eyes tormented and anguished as he searched for his new husband his… Oh, Norns! What had Thor _done_?!

The halls seemed longer and _nobody_ was around to help him as Thor sprinted to the common sitting area where they usually had their breakfast. He hoped his mother had seen his lost, probably bleeding husband, and would tell him. But the moment he pushed open the doors, all speech left Thor when he saw Loki sitting in a seat by the balcony, sipping a cup of tea.

“Loki!” Thor ran forward.

Loki startled violently, dropping the cup from his hands to shatter and spun around.

He went paper white when he saw Thor striding towards him.

“Th- Thor, I …” Loki leapt to his feet, backing away from him.

Thor faltered to a stop, his face grief-stricken as he looked at Loki, who looked right about to pass out from fear.

And in that terrifying moment Thor realized something terrible; Loki was afraid of him.

“Loki” Thor whispered “I never … I can’t …”

It took him a moment to realize that Thor wasn’t going to kill him, that Thor didn’t know what he had done and that he could get out of this completely unscathed.

Loki swallowed and relaxed a little.

“I placed your tea in the room” Loki told him, clasping his hands before him “I thought you might …”

Thor growled and moved forward

“Loki, I am a monster!”

Loki backed away from him until he hit the balcony railing, and looked behind him to see if he could escape there, perhaps.

He didn’t want Thor to touch him – lest he find out Loki was perfectly fine.

His desire to escape was clear in his eyes and it made Thor feel ten times guiltier. But Thor needed to tell him, Loki needed to know that he _hadn’t_ meant to do this to him. He cornered Loki and pulled him into his arms, feeling him squirm but not letting him loose.

“I am so sorry” Thor rasped into Loki’s hair “I promised you I wouldn’t hurt you and then I … Loki, please, please don’t hate me, I’ll do _anything_ to prove I hadn’t done it on purpose, I …”

“Were you …” Loki swallowed, his voice muffled into Thor’s shoulder “satisfied?”

“No…” Thor almost moaned in agony “No… no, Loki, I … I swear, Loki, I didn’t … I might have drunk more than…”

Norns, Thor wanted to curl up and _die_ right there.

“Valhalla help me, I didn’t think I was capable of this and now I do it to the one person who didn’t deserve it at all” Thor spoke, his voice thick “I forced you into something you didn’t want and  I …”

Thor choked and held Loki tighter, though he felt him pushing again him.

“Loki, I know this means nothing to you, but I am sorry” Thor buried his face in Loki’s shoulder “I’m so sorry”

Loki pushed him away a little and looked into his eyes “You said you wanted to hurt me, you said this was revenge and that you wouldn’t rest until I was in pain…”

“No…” Thor paled and actually stumbled back from Loki “No, Loki you have to believe this is not what I meant! I am not a monster, I …”

Loki blinked when Thor broke off, hands in his hair as he spun around.

“Stars, this …” he turned his anguished gaze to Loki “I know what you think, I … I didn’t mean _this_! Odin’s beard and I don’t even recall what…”

Loki gasped and looked away, knowing Thor was about to figure it out. He cried out when two large hands landed on his shoulders and forced him to spin around and look into Thor’s face.

“You _cannot_ believe that!” Thor growled, his expression suffering “I am a bastard and I deserve to rot in hell but _please_ Loki, do not think I planned to do this to you, I didn’t plan this against, you and…”

Loki pressed a hand to Thor’s lips and looked into his shining eyes.

“Please stop talking” Loki whispered “I can’t hear anymore”

Thor made a broken noise behind his hand and looked at him, pleadingly.

“Speak of it no more” Loki told him, looking everywhere but at his eyes.

He might blurt out the truth because Thor was in so much _pain_ and Loki wasn’t a sadist.

“We will put it behind us”

Thor made another noise and Loki lowered his hand.

“Anything” Thor whispered 

Loki swallowed before speaking “If I … if you could…”

“I take back what I said” Thor said immediately, waving a hand viciously “I forgo whatever stupid vengeance I had planned, I won’t … I won’t hurt you again, though you shouldn’t believe me”

Loki marveled at his luck and looked to the dawning skies “I was merely going to suggest…”

“Anything, Loki” Thor said, taking his hands gently within his own “Anything you ask, I will give you”

“Space” Loki said, looking at their joined hands and pulling one away to brush his hair away from his face “Just … three months?”

More guilt came over Thor’s features before he nodded “Of course. Anything, Loki, I will give you anything you want”

Loki pulled his lips inwards before letting them go and running his tongue over them. He looked up to see Thor following the movement and he froze, ready to run.

But Thor hastily stepped back, away from him and ran his hands through his hair to keep them to himself.

“I …” Thor choked, swallowed and started again “I’m so sorry, Loki”

Loki’s face softened into guilt at Thor’s broken whisper, but there was nothing he could do. It was done, and unless Loki had a death wish, he would leave it at that.

So he looked aside, away from the guilt and away from Thor – who he’d just _broken_.

He heard Thor’s sharp intake of breath and he heard him take another step back, then another until he turned around and left the balcony.

When he was in the middle of the common sitting area, Loki lifted his gaze and Thor’s steps were faltering and his shoulders were slumped as he ran a hand through his golden hair and cursed himself.

***

Guilt aside, Loki truly enjoyed his freedom.

After Thor left, Loki had started to gather up the shards of the cup he had broken but stopped when a maid rushed in and scolded him, telling him not to do this and forced him to sit down, thoughtfully placing a cushion for him on the hard seat, and placed a small scroll in his hands.

Loki furrowed his brow and looked at it.

“Menu, your majesty” she said, running her hands over her hair to fix it “Tell me what you wish to have and I shall make it for you”

“So much?” Loki asked, eyes wide as he went through the menu

“Aye” she smiled “have as much as you wish, my lord”

As Loki went through it, his mind reeled with the possibilities of having _everything_. Byleistr had never given him such options in his life and he wanted everything at once, but hadn’t the words to say it without sounding like a glutton.

“Why not a bit of everything?” the maid asked

Loki blinked up at her “You can do that?”

She giggled “If Master Thor can get those disgusting Pop Tarts from Midgard, you can have everything on the menu”

Loki smiled at her, flushing a little “Um … thank you”

She curtsied “My Lord”

“Wait!” Loki called as she turned to leave “What… your name, miss?”

“Leah” she smiled at him “My name is Leah, your majesty”

“Lady Leah” Loki smiled and nodded to her “A pleasure to meet you”

She curtsied again “Your Highness”

He watched her go before he realized he was completely alone.

His eyes, now that they weren’t going to every sound in the room, fearing Thor’s entrance, were taking in the golden halls, the doors that led to various places in the Royal Apartments. There were large tapestries, wonderful but somewhat less meticulous than Loki had expected an Asgardian royal to have.

He studied them, saw the story of a single boy playing in the snow and his story of how he grew up and became interested in stories of honor.

Furrowing his brow, Loki stood and walked over to the first one, looking at the words and the slightly untidy drawings.

As he read the pictures, he realized this wasn’t bought.

It was hand made. And one look at the name at the bottom right hand corner told him Frigga had made this.

This was Thor’s life till he turned into a teen, all woven into this wonderful, beautiful fabric. He stared at it, his hand going to the pendant around his neck. Such devotion, such unconditional love and such _beauty_ had gone into this that Loki felt something stir within him.

He raised a hand and rested it on the tapestry, feeling it against his palm and he could swear he felt the love it had against him.

A door thud shut behind him and Loki immediately retracted his hand and spun around.

Balder stood, shutting the door behind him, his eyes fixed on Loki.

“I was just…” Loki gestured to the tapestry “looking”

Balder smirked at him “Good morning, my prince”

Loki flushed and crossed his arms behind his back, bowing to Balder “Good morning”

Balder walked over, from the other side of the room, to the table, watching Loki carefully, looking him over for injuries.

“Are you well?” Balder asked when he reached the table and pulled out a chair.

He paused when he saw a cushion on it and realized Loki must have been sitting here. Wisely keeping his mouth shut, Balder simply went to the other chair and pulled it out, inviting Loki to sit as well.

“I’m fine” Loki said and sauntered over slowly, sitting on his seat and placing his hands in his lap. He stared at the table, unsure of what to say.

He had no idea.

According to his thinking, _they_ were the ones in control and he had to do what they wanted.

But when they just remained silent and stared at him, Loki didn’t know what to expect.

“Um…” Loki cleared his throat when the silence became stifling “Did … did you sleep well?”

Balder chuckled “As well as I could when a guard passed out outside my door and kept snoring loud enough to wake the dead.”

Loki smiled politely and looked to the door in hopes of Frigga coming over.

She was the only one that didn’t make him uncomfortable.

“Have you ordered what you wish to have?” Balder asked, playing with the menu

“Yes” Loki said, started to say something else then stopped.

Balder had the urge to run a finger around his collar because this was getting far too awkward.

He wished his mother would just make an entrance. Or even Thor. 

Thor, who should have been here instead of him.

Balder furrowed his brow and looked at Loki “Where’s Thor?”

Immediately, something akin to alarm came over Loki’s face before he masked it.

“Um…” he pushed his seat back and stood “I’ll check”

He spun around and nearly ran to the door, ignoring Balder calling after him. He let the door thud shut behind him and leaned against it a moment, a hand to his head.

His mind peeled back layers slowly because the stupidity of his panicked actions was so _monumental_.

He might have been able to fool Thor, but what about everyone else?

What about the servants, who would know it wasn’t blood? What about Thor’s mother realizing Loki had lied – he knew women had some sort of sense about these things.

What about all those _not_ drowned in guilt and panic enough to believe his story?

Loki was going to have to tell Thor. He couldn’t have him find out by someone else, he had to … and then he would have to take whatever Thor had in store for him.

Loki shuddered and pushed off the door.

Thor was not going to be merciful – but Loki couldn’t live in a lie.

He was trapped and he had only himself to blame.

His brain thought of things, thought of answers as his feet carried him down the halls and back into his chambers. He had his gaze lowered and his thoughts jumping around so he didn’t notice the room wasn’t empty.

“Loki!”

Loki gasped and looked up, then almost gave a shriek, spinning around, hands over his eyes.

“I am so sorry! I thought this was empty!” Loki called over his shoulder, going bright red.

Thor chuckled, grabbed a towel to wrap around his waist. He was completely bare, having just come out of his bath. It was his habit because no one came into his chambers without his permission and he hadn’t really a need to change it. However, in his guilt, he had over looked one small fact.

And said ‘small fact’ was currently red in embarrassment and turned away with his hands over his face, muttering apologies.

Thor found it endearing.

He grinned, some of his guilt waning “You can look back now, I am decent”

“No, thank you” Loki said “I need time to get your – _I mean the image!!_ Out of my mind!”

Thor placed a hand over his mouth to stifle a bark of laughter and nodded “I see”

He said no more and walked over, making enough sound with his bare feet as he could, past Loki and to the wall where the cupboards were embedded.

Immediately, Loki turned the other way, rubbing his flushed face with both hands before crossing them over his arms.

“Uh…” Loki began, cleared his throat “what am I expected to do?”

“Hmm?” Thor asked, pulling on a tunic “Well, usually it is customary to have lunch at the feast downstairs, but if you want, I can make an excuse for you and let you do what you want”

And what Loki wanted, he didn’t know. He _could_ explore a little – granted he didn’t meet anyone – and see his new home.

“I …would like that” Loki said, walking over to pull the curtains aside.

“Leave it” Thor said from behind him when Loki touched the curtain “the maids can do that”

“Oh” Loki pulled his hand back and started to look around, his gaze going to the bathing room.

Perhaps a bath?

“Would you like to have your breakfast brought here?” Thor asked, walking over to sit on the bed with his boots in his hand “I can have it elsewhere if …”

“No” Loki said suddenly, turning “I can… it would be nice to have it with your family.”

It would be a total disaster.

Thor smiled at him and stood.

Loki tensed when he approached, trying hard not to flinch when Thor gently grabbed his hand in his.

“I didn’t wish you a good morning, Loki” Thor said, bringing Loki’s hand to his lips.

Loki saw the guilt still stubborn in Thor’s eyes and he saw a glint of mischief there as well and realized he liked the latter.

“Good morning” Thor said against his knuckles, sending delicious shivers through his new husband.

Loki swallowed loudly “Greetings of morning”

Thor smiled and pulled back, though he wanted to take Loki to the common room by his hand, gesturing Loki to move ahead.

Nodding, Loki did as he was asked and took a deep breath to keep his guilt and budding panic at bay.

It didn’t really work.

***

Truly, the last thing Loki expected after his breakfast was company.

If anyone, he expected his brother.

What Loki didn’t expect, was his doors suddenly being pulled open and a blonde skipping in, hair shining brightly, blue dress flapping in the air when he was having his tea and fruits.

For a moment, Loki stared at her, confused “Erm…”

“Greetings” the woman gave an exaggerated curtsy and looked up at him “You look pale”

Loki blinked, mouth almost hanging open “Pardon me?”

She rose and simply skipped over to sit across from him and peek at his snack “Pale, you look pale. Must be all the snow, I can already picture you fading into the walls”

“Who _are_ you?” Loki asked, pulling away his food when she reached for it.

She smiled at him “Idunn. I live here”

What she meant by the vague _here_ he didn’t know. What he _wanted_ to know what why she was hijacking his peace.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, setting his food down when she seemed content with picking at some fruit

“I came so see you” she said, smiling at him “You _are_ Loki, aren’t you?”

Loki just stared and she chuckled.

“You are adorable”

Loki flushed “Did someone send you?”

She shook her head “I told you, I wanted to see you. Is that strange?”

 _Strange_ didn’t even come close to it.

“No, I just…”

“Good” she popped a cherry into her mouth and leaned forward on her elbows “so how are you?”

Loki gave up trying to understand the situation.

“I am fine” he said, lifting his tea to sip “How are you?”

She shrugged “I fell out of my tree today, but that is not uncommon. What was uncommon was that the tree caught my dress and I fell to the ground naked”

Loki blew tea out of his nose and began to cough.

Idunn jumped up with a handkerchief “Norns, are you alright!?”

Loki doubled over, coughing loudly, and raised a hand to her before running into the toilet and locking himself in.

Idunn looked at the door, then at the spilled tea and made a face. She went to the door and opened it.

“Leah!” she called “come over, please”

The girl trotted over and the women bowed to each other.

“His majesty had an accident, please clean up” Idunn said

Leah nodded and walked over, lifting a few things to get at the sprayed tea then picked up the cup and went to get Loki another.

“Was he done with his meal?” Leah asked, wiping at the table.

Idunn shrugged “I have no clue. He threw tea at me and ran; strange eating habits” 

Leah chuckled “Are you sure it wasn’t something you said?”

Idunn shook her head “Never. Where’s Balder?”

“In your orchard” Leah replied “He’s looking for you”

“Good” Idunn primped her hair a little

Leah shook her head and cleaned up the last of everything, leaving Loki’s snack as it was.

“Don’t bother him too much” Leah said, shaking her head when Idunn winked at her.

Idunn waited patiently, a small graceful figure at the table, occasionally picking things up and popping them into her mouth.

The doors to the bathroom opened and Loki stilled when he saw her sitting there.

“I thought you left” Loki muttered as he came over, still red in the face.

“No” Idunn said “you _hoped_ I had left. There is a difference. Are you done? I need to do something”

Loki frowned “How is my eating stopping you?”

Idunn rolled her eyes at him “Because I wish to take you along, now come on”

Loki stared at this new complication in his day, then at his snack. He knew he wasn’t going to finish it, not now. Not when his gaze was becoming unfocused and he kept thinking of what Idunn told him.

He shook his head, blushing even brighter, and nodded “I am done”

“Excellent!” she jumped up and hooked her arm in his “Let’s go, then”

Loki didn’t want to go, but something told him to obey and he let this strange Idunn carry him away from the castle. 

Somehow, she knew of his discomfort and took the most secluded paths until they reached the gardens.

In the daylight, Asgard was breathtaking.

She had everything Loki dreamed off and more!

His eyes went from the lush green trees to the bluest skies, the flowers the fruit,; he couldn’t stop looking and Idunn chuckled as his head moved _everywhere_ in is curiosity.

He reminded her of a cat.

There were a few people there and they waved to Idunn, looking closely when they saw Loki and bowing to him.

He didn’t notice because he was too busy _staring_ at every single flower and memorizing the colors, shape and faint scent they gave.

“Do you want one?” Idunn chuckled when Loki just stopped walking to stare at brightly colored chrysanthemums.

He looked at her “Truly?”

“Aye” she smiled “I could make a plait on you head and fix it in”

He flushed and took his head “Nay, thank you”

Idunn hummed before she shrugged and led him further, past the beautiful gardens where people waved and called to them and into the orchards she kept.

Her orchard was in a huge dip in the land, and her trees grew high above it, so Loki saw the apples first and the rest of it later.

“Golden?” Loki gasped when he saw them

“Yes” Idunn said, letting him go and prancing over “my favorite color, to be honest.”

He followed her, his eyes fixed on the apples as they glittered and shone in the Aesir sun.  
“They’re beautiful”

Idunn chuckled at his wonder and went to the nearest tree, climbing up on the nearest.

Loki walked over, looking up as she vanished in the leaves “What are you doing?”

“Getting you an apple, my lord” she called, looking down “now move away Prince, I do not want you peeking where you have no right to”

Loki turned red and lowered his gaze, though he remained where he was, arms crossed behind his back.

“Can I not just pick one from here?”

“No” Idunn called from above “Don’t touch them”

Loki went back to staring at the ground and stopped talking.

His gaze fixed on the ground and he focused on the green grass, the curved shape of the blade, the bits of dirt barely visible from his vantage point, the small drops of dew that still settled on it despite the lateness of the hour.

“Loki!”

Loki looked up to see Balder coming over, smiling at him, cape billowing behind him. His ice blue eyes were warm but Loki found himself looking away.

Unpleasant memories came to him out of the blue and he lowered his head once more, studying the grass.

“Prince Balder”

Balder chuckled as he stood before him “Enjoyed the day so far?” 

“Yes” Loki said, taking a small step back and looking over Balder’s shoulder, hands still behind him.

Balder looked around, his eyes searching before he looked back at him.

“What brings you here?” Balder asked “And did you come alone? Where is my brother?”

“He is with Byleistr” Loki said “they are discussing the future of my home and mapping out a plan to stop Farbauti”

“Have they anything useful?” Balder asked

Loki shrugged “I didn’t see”

Balder hummed “Are you meeting someone here? Perhaps a friend?”

Loki gave him a small smile “What makes you believe I have friends here?”

Balder raised his eyebrows “You don’t?”

Loki spread his hands “Do you see anyone?”

“I’m here”

Immediately, an awkward tension fell on them.

Balder cleared his throat and looked at his feet before gazing at Loki.

“Listen, I …”

“I should” Loki cut in “best be going. I left things undone while I came here”

“I should escort you” Balder said, stepping forward.

“No!” Loki said sharply, then flushed “I mean, you can wait here for Idunn, I can see myself back”

“Idunn?” Balder asked, incredulous “What makes you think I am looking for her?”

If he hadn’t blushed, Loki still wouldn’t have believed him.

“These are her trees, are they not?” Loki asked

“Aye”

“And if you were here to get an apple, you would have done that already, instead you waited, pretending to talk to me while she made an appearance”

Balder had the grace to turn a shade brighter. He scratched his head.

“Perhaps I was … Looking for her”

“Well, I haven’t seen her” Loki said, turning to leave.

A crack sounded from above and Loki turned back when a yelp followed. An instant later, something small and blonde fell from the trees, right into his arms.

Loki stumbled a little, catching Idunn’s less that graceful landing and blinking at her owlishly.

“Greetings” Idunn sung, looking at Balder, a golden apple in her hand as she simply lay in Loki’s arms.

Balder stared at them both and Loki blushed.

“Here” Idunn lifted the apple and stuck it between Loki’s teeth.

Giving an offended grunt, Loki stared at her, then Balder and went ten shades darker.

Balder couldn’t help but look at how he looked with a reddened face and a whole apple in his mouth. 

***

There was time before lunch and Loki decided to read.

He went to the corner where his cases were kept and opened a chest to look through, hoping to lift his favorite book and manage to get through a few chapters. He found it at the very bottom and sighed, leaning over to lift a pile and place it beside him on the floor to get at it.

He held it up and put the others back before going to lie on a couch and read.

But the moment he lay back and rested his head against an arm of the couch, his doors burst open, startling him so he sat up.

His eyes widened when he saw his brother coming over, his expression thunderous.

“That two faced, idiotic _bastard_ , I want to crush his skull for this!”

Loki leapt to his feet and went behind the couch, knowing from experience that his brother’s tantrums never ended well.

“What happened?” Loki asked

Byleistr glared at him “That husband of yours is nothing more than a spoiled brat who thinks he can get away with anything!”

Loki looked at the door, praying no one heard his brother. Fortunately, it had closed under his brother’s anger and Loki sighed before edging around the couch to come into full view.

“Will you just tell me?”

Byleistr growled and sat on the ground, back against the wall.

“Odin and I came upon an agreement” he said “the casket would be mind in the first year of your marriage. It was reasonable and proves to everyone that the marriage is legitimate and the stupid Aesir would have no problem with him handing it over to us.”

He growled and leaned forward “But then, that _bastard_ had to intervene and change everything. He came over, arrogant as an ass, and demanded to see the treaty. He liked what it said, he said, but he wished to change one thing. The casket will not be handed to us in a year, but rather when the true proof of the marriage arrives”

Byleistr gave Loki a glare “His heir”

Loki felt his blood freeze.

“We cannot have it unless Thor gets an heir and Norns know when that will happen!”

Loki released a small breath, putting his panic aside. It didn’t mean anything, Thor was just doing what he thought was best for them – the Aesir

Byleistr was staring at the ground, hands clasped under his chin.

“And to think they pride themselves in honor”

Loki shrugged and came over, standing beside him. Insulting Aesir was something familiar and Loki indulged his brother because sometimes, it became genuinely funny.

“Forget them” Loki said, placing a hand on his brother’s arm “how can you expect barbarians to honor their word?”

Byleistr scoffed “Aye, and this time, there is nothing we…”

When he broke off, Loki knew exactly what he was going to say.

“No” Loki said when Byleistr looked at him “No, you cannot ask that of me”

“I can ask you anything I want” Byleistr said glaring at him “you owe it to me”

“What I owed you was done with what I sacrificed last night” Loki told him firmly “You cannot ask this of me. I will not!”

Loki had never talked back to his brother because it never bode well; this time was no different.

“What did you say?” Byleistr slowly began to stand.

Loki’s eyes widened in alarm and he stepped back.

“I will not have a child to get you the casket” Loki said

“You will do whatever I ask of you!” Byleistr snapped “Know where you belong, Loki, my father’s _bastard_ ”

 

Loki flinched “I know my place! It is here – with royalty. You might need to learn yours!”

The moment he said those words, Loki wanted to take them back.

Because Byleistr’s face turned ugly in anger as he advanced.

“You think because you became his _whore_ you are better than me!?” Byleistr yelled, lashing out and grabbing Loki’s arm when he tried to run “You wouldn’t be _alive_ if it wasn’t for me!”

“Let go!” Loki pulled against him, crying out when Byleistr slammed him back against the wall “Brother, release me!”

“Oh, you remember what I am to you, then?” Byleistr grabbed his other arm and held him pinned “Listen to me, Loki, and listen well. You may be in some semblance of power now, but what will Thor do to you when he finds out _you_ were the ones that sent those Jotuns here on his coronation?”

Loki froze, staring up at him, his color leaving his face.

Byleistr sneered at him “You really think you can outplay me?”

Loki struggled, gasping when he was pressed into the wall till he couldn’t breathe.

“Byleistr!” Loki panted “my chest…!”

“Have his child” Byleistr said “Or I swear, I …”

“What is going on here?!”

Immediately, Loki was released and he fell to the ground, coughing and gasping.

Byleistr straightened and looked at Thor, smiling “Good Prince! Good to see you again”

Thor glared at him, his anger evident in the suddenly approaching clouds “Get away from him”

Byleistr stepped back when Thor strode forward.

“We were just having a conversation…”

“Get out” Thor said, crouching down to his husband.

Loki gasped and cringed from him.

“Hush” Thor consoled him, laying his hand on his shoulder “It’s me, Loki, calm down”

Loki nodded and lowered the hand he had raised to defend himself.

“See?” Byleistr scoffed “He’s…”

“I said, get out!” Thor twisted himself to glare at him “Now! And don’t you dare come to my chambers again!”

Byleistr looked like he wanted to hit Thor, but here, he was not in power.

So he nodded and stepped back, leaving his angry gaze on Loki till he opened the doors and left.

The moment they banged shut, Thor turned to Loki.

“What happened?”

“N-nothing” Loki stammered, trying to push Thor away and stand.

But his legs gave out underneath him, such was his shaking, and he fell on his hands and knees.

“We were just … talking”

Thor sighed and moved forward, gently placing a hand on Loki’s back.

“Loki, look at me”

Loki didn’t obey, he sat with his legs curled under him, braced forward on his hands as he stared at the floor.

“Loki”

Gently he tipped Loki’s head to face him and he wasn’t surprised when he saw confusion and fear in his eyes.

“He…” Loki broke off and shook his head “it doesn’t matter”

Thor wanted to argue, but he noticed that his husband was _shaking_ and moved.

“Let me help”

Loki looked up when Thor moved forward, not having the energy to argue when the god of thunder lifted him into his arms and carried him to the couch he had been reading in. Gently, like something precious, Thor set him down and stepped back.

“I can order him away if you wish” Thor said when Loki didn’t look at him

“No” Loki shook his head and rubbed his arms, wincing when he felt bruises already forming beneath his sleeves “Losing one’s temper is common”

“Aye, but harming someone is …” Thor broke off, reminded of an incident back at the camp where his lost temper _had_ harmed someone.

After that, he was reminded of the Jotuns that perished under his anger.

And after _that_ he was reminded of the war he started because of his temper.

When he broke off, Loki waved a hand at him, dismissing it, though he was thinking the exact same thing.

“Could you hand me my book?” Loki asked, pointing to the side where he had dropped his tome

Thor nodded and went to fetch it, handing it to Loki before sitting on the couch at Loki’s feet. Loki wanted to ignore him, he really did, but when he saw his boots were cuffing Thor, he felt extremely rude and pulled back to take them off.

“Allow me” Thor said, grabbing one foot.

“No! You don’t have to…” Loki broke off, placing the book over his face when Thor began to unlace his boot.

“I insist” Thor said, loosening it and pulling it off.

Loki’s heart was hammering within his chest, his breathing turned shallow as Thor took his shoe off.

When he reached for the other, Loki bit his lip and shut his eyes, trying to hide the excitement that went through him. 

“There, all done” Thor placed Loki’s shoes aside and looked at him, chuckling when Loki didn’t move his book. 

Loki exhaled and slowly lowered the book, peeking over the top.

Thor smiled at him “I knew you were in there”

Loki blinked slowly and turned to read, highly aware of the man sitting opposite him and glowing so _beautifully_ that Loki’s heart began to race.

Again.

***

Lunch was a loud affair and Loki wanted to miss it.

But Thor had wanted to go and since it would seem strange that the man came without his new husband, Loki tagged along, sticking to Thor’s side in case his brother made an appearance.

Byleistr was a proud, well built and dangerous Jotun. He was a killer and he was ruthless. He didn’t stand insubordination and he showed no weakness or retreat.

So when Thor had stood before him and Byleistr backed off, Loki had been stunned.

He didn’t think he could be saved from his brother’s rage. No one spoke against Byleistr – no one.

As expected, the dining hall was filled and raucous laughter rose to the ceiling. Men and women laughed and enjoyed and talked loudly.

When they spotted Thor and Loki, they cheered for their prince and Thor waved back. He nudged Loki to do the same, but Loki shook his head and grabbed the ends of his green cape.

He caught sight of Idunn and flushed when she waved at him wildly.

Discreetly, Loki lifted a hand and wiggled his fingers at her and she grinned and sat back, talking to her friends again.

Loki watched her, and all the shining Aesir as Thor led him up the dais where royalty ate.

Frigga and Odin sat there and Loki found himself slipping slightly behind Thor when he saw Odin. The man had a way of intimidating him without even trying.

Thor bowed to his parents and sat in his seat.

Loki did the same, but Frigga demanded he sit with _her_ instead. Not one to disobey his new Queen, Loki nodded and walked over, sitting beside her and giving her a small smile.

“My lady” Loki bowed his head.

Frigga ran a hand over his head “Prince”

Loki had long forgotten what an affectionate touch was like, so he had no idea what he was supposed to do, and waited.

But Frigga smiled at him and tapped his nose “I was blessing you, child”

Loki’s face went blank before a genuine smile crept over his lips and he felt his ears turn red.

Frigga chuckled and extended a hand for his when he gave it, she just held on and started talking to him.

“That” she pointed to a fat Aesir sitting among the crowds, already drinking ale “Is our ambassador to Alfhiem. He goes there for trade and comes back bruised and battered for flirting with those that are already taken”

Loki smiled, then looked to the other person she pointed out.

A tall maiden with flowing hair, tight clothes and thick make up was leaning close to Fandral, talking slowly so that each word was a seductive movement of her lips.

“Is she charming, in your opinion?”

Loki looked at Frigga, surprised “Why?”

“Just answer me”

Loki nodded and looked back “She is rather pretty, a little broad shouldered but…”

“He’s a man” Frigga said “a distant cousin to Thor and Balder”

Loki gaped and Frigga laughed.

“Why…” Loki began “why is he?”

Frigga shrugs “No one knows. But he does it so well we find it a good enough entertainment”

Loki managed a chuckle and listened to the next person Frigga pointed out.

At the other side of the table, sitting beside Odin, Thor watched.

“Anything the matter, Son?” Odin asked him “you seem a little on edge”

Thor looked at him and shook his head “Nothing”

“The other Laufeyson demanded lunch in his taken chambers” Odin told him “did you have anything to do with that?”

“No”

“Pity” Odin said “I’d rather hoped you had punched him”

Thor looked at his father and a grin came over his mouth and widened when he saw Loki so relaxed and _laughing_.

He looked so beautiful.

And Thor had hurt him so badly.

Mood downed, Thor grabbed his goblet and began taking long swigs.

***

Someone managed to spill mead on him.

Loki knew something was going to happen, this didn’t cross his mind. He expected name calling, jeers and insults, but he never expected a maid to crash into him and douse him in ale before apologizing and begging him for forgiveness.

And forgiveness Loki gave because the moment Thor strode over, anger on his face, the woman looked like she was dead on her feet.

Loki had intervened, told Thor it was an accident and nothing more, then told the girl it was alright.

She had run after that and Loki had begged pardon to go and bathe because he was sticky. Thor wanted to come along but Loki insisted he stay and enjoy his feast.

Though reluctant, Thor had agreed and Loki had bowed to him, turning and leaving before Thor could follow him.

He reached his chambers without incident and locked them for privacy. He checked, just to make sure his brother wasn’t around, and satisfied, he went to his wardrobe to take out his clothes.

A simply black tunic, for now, and black trousers were set on the bed before Loki went to turn on the bath water and set it to the right temperature.

Then he began to undress, slipping off his clothes slowly and just dumping them in a corner before sliding in the bath.

It was when he lifted himself from the water to push his hair back that he noticed his arms.

There had been a dull, numbing throb that went down both his arms all through lunch and though it had barely registered to Loki then, now he felt it because he saw the reasons for it.

Large bruises, larger than he had ever had in his life, marred his perfect skin. They were ugly, swollen and purple and when Loki touched one, he cried out in the pain that went through him.

His brother had hurt him again.

And Loki realized he would continue to hurt him unless he did something about it.

But standing up to his brother was terrifying. Byleistr was a volatile creature and Loki cherished his head on his shoulders.

So, shaking, he sunk low in the bath before coming out again and grabbed soap, hurrying with the bath he had intended on enjoying.

He was halfway through when he got distracted by colorful bottles placed on the edge of the bath.

Curious, Loki walked over and lifted the first, pink one. He raised it to his nose and inhaled it deeply when the scent was one he liked.

He looked at the label and saw the words ‘Bubble Bath’ written on them. Wondering what the hell _that_ was, Loki opened the bottle and dropped a few drops of the thick liquid in the water.

And waited.

He could see them, slowly floating to the bottom, but they did nothing else and Loki ran his ran with them, shaking the water.

He blinked when large, sweet smelling bubbles appeared and grinned before looking at the bottle with renewed interest.

He placed the bottle aside, went to drain the bath halfway before turning it on again and pouring the bubble bath where the water poured in.

He chuckled when bubbles appeared _everywhere_ and shut the cap then went to see what the other bottles held.

The distraction was so good Loki spent three hours in the bath, diving in and out of the water until he noticed that his hands looked like prunes.

Grimacing as he drained the bath, Loki stepped out, wrapped himself in a towel and went to his room.

He passed the mirror and caught his reflection and his mouth turned down when he saw his bruises again.

Loki bit his lip and looked to where Thor kept his things. Perhaps he had something to soothe them.

Deciding upon that, Loki dressed in a sleeveless tunic rather than the one he had picked out, and pulled on his trousers then walked barefoot to where Thor’s dressing table was.

He looked at his things, scents and brushes and combs and smiled when he saw the jar of soothing cream Thor was to apply to his skin after practice.

When Loki lifted the lid, he made a face at the disgusting smell.

He missed the bubble bath already.

Sighing and bemoaning the loss of his lovely scent from his bath, Loki prodded the cream with two fingers and placed them on his bicep, rubbing it into the muscle gently. He winced when it hurt and started to go slower.

He had reached his forearm when the doors unlocked and opened.

Thor walked in, looking at the mess Loki had made “Loki, are you…?”

He broke off, staring at his husband.

Loki had frozen as he was, blinking at Thor and wondering why he hadn’t thought of Thor possessing a key.

“Loki, what are you doing?” Thor asked, closing the doors behind him “and what happened to your arms!?”

Loki flinched and looked at the bottle “I was going to put it back”

He stopped talking, retreating when Thor came over and grabbed his wrist.

“Your brother did this?” Thor rasped, looking at him, his blue eyes burning.

“I – it’s nothing” Loki tugged at his arm, trying to get away.

Thor growled, grabbed his other wrist and looked at his injuries.

“That bastard” Thor let Loki go and turned to leave.

“No!” Loki called, grabbing his arm “wait, please, don’t hurt him!”

Thor spun back and Loki cringed, snatching his hands to his chest.

“I’m fine” Loki said “It’s nothing”

Thor’s features softened and he looked at his new husband.

“Loki, you don’t have to defend him” Thor said “He needs to know what is acceptable and what isn’t”

Loki swallowed and rubbed his arms, wincing when they hurt.

Thor looked at him and smiled a little.

“Come here” Thor gestured.

Loki tensed “I can do this myself”

Thor chuckled “I do not doubt you, but it would be better if you do it with soothing balm rather than my saturated pig fat; that’s for burns”

Loki gaped and his face became horrified.

And Thor burst out laughing.

***

“Why would you keep that disgusting _thing_ where anyone could reach it?”

Thor, leaning outside the bathing room door as Loki bathed again, chuckled.

“It’s not disgusting” Thor said “and I placed it on _my_ dressing table. So why should anyone touch it?”

There was a short pause.

“Oh”

Thor chuckled again “Worry not, I do not mind you touching…”

“No, it’s not that” Loki said from within “I managed to finish your ‘Bubble Bath’”

Thor’s eyebrows rose and he gaped “In one night?”

Another pause

“Aye”

Thor sniggered and shook his head “It’s alright. I got them from Midgard, a friend gave them to me”

“You have friends in Midgard?” Loki asked, resuming whatever he had halted earlier.

“Yes, fantastic heroes” Thor said “perhaps when this threat is dealt with, I shall take you to meet them”

Loki hummed “Will you get more ‘Bubble Bath’?”

Thor grinned “If you wish”

“Then I will finish this”

“Go right ahead” Thor said.

When no reply came, Thor went and crashed into the bed, lying back and looking at the ceiling.

The day had started terribly and now he felt better; not completely, he had still…

Thor sighed and closed his eyes, thinking of something other than what he had done. He thought about his day, his unbearable meeting with Loki’s brother, his friends and their jokes, he recalled Idunn walking over and teasing him about Loki until he pushed her away.

He thought about so many things he put himself into a light doze and woke only when he heard the bathroom door open.

The scent of good soap and shampoo came before Loki and Thor smiled when he saw his very clean husband. When his gaze went to the arms his sleeveless tunic showed, Thor’s smile faded and he sat up, stifling a yawn.

He patted the bed beside him and stood to get the proper balm for Loki.

When he turned, Loki sat on the couch rather than the bed and Thor felt a twinge of guilt resurface.

He walked back, the small jar in hand that he pried open. He held it out for Loki to sniff and smirked when it was accepted.

When Loki held out a hand, Thor sat beside him and grabbed his wrist. He held on when Loki recoiled and relaxed only when he gave in.

“One of the things” Thor said as he placed the balm on Loki’s bruises with feather light touches “I realized today was that I broke every single vow I made only yesterday”

Loki looked up, emerald eyes shining

“I didn’t honor you, I didn’t protect you, I hurt you…” Thor broke off, choking and Loki gaped.

“I don’t deserve a second chance, but I am begging you for one” Thor turned his anguished gaze to Loki  
Loki stared at him, uncomprehending.

“I will do anything, Loki” Thor told him “just say the word”

Loki swallowed, his mind thinking.

“I … I find myself” Loki said softly, prepared to run in case Thor didn’t like what he said “unable to…believe that. You made promises that you broke at the camp and hurt me even then. And now you …”

Thor made a small, pained noise.

“If I had a guarantee…”

Thor tightened his hand on Loki’s arm a little to get his attention “What do you want me to do?”

Loki looked dubious so Thor shook his head “Just tell me”

Loki swallowed “A rune, perhaps? Something to prevent you from…”

“Consider it done” Thor said “I shall work on it tomorrow”

Loki nodded and extended his other arm when Thor was done with the first. Thor kept going for a while in silence before Loki spoke.

“May we have dinner here?” Loki asked “I don’t wish to go down again”

Thor looked at him “Loki, I won’t let him touch you again”

Loki shook his head and turned away. Thor sighed.

“Will you not tell me why he scares you so?”

“He doesn’t” Loki said instantly

Thor smiled at the blatant lie “Had you delayed you response a little, I might have believed you”

Loki looked back and blinked at him.

“Loki” Thor gently squeezed his hand “tell me”

Loki looked into Thor’s eyes and shook his head “I can’t…”

Thor reached out and gently cupped his cheek “Just don’t think about it. Talk”

So Loki swallowed

And he told him.

***

All of Asgard was enjoying watching their prince trip over his own two feet as he tried to please his new husband.

Wherever Loki went, Thor followed.

What Loki asked, Thor did.

And though the young man’s demands were few, they noticed Thor obeyed them all as thought they were words of the All father.

As endearing as it was, it was also worrying.

Such devotion always proved dangerous and Byleistr’s smile didn’t ease any such fear.

But when someone managed to point this out, _very_ cautiously, to Thor, he merely shrugged and said if he didn’t mind, neither should anyone else.

And now, two weeks into their marriage, Loki sat enjoying himself at the side of a lovely brook as he watched Thor jump in and out of the water.

Thor burst out, water cascading down his muscled body and Loki failed to stifle a shudder or _not_ bite his lip.

“Come on!” Thor waved him over “the water is amazing!”

Loki shook his head and sat firmly against the tree their blanket rested on and opened his book again.

Of all things, they were on a picnic. Thor was enjoying himself in the water and Loki was unable to read a single word of his book.

His guilt was drowning him and he didn’t know what to do.

Thor was _such_ a nice man and he treated Loki like a king. He did every single thing he asked and fell over himself trying to please him.

These past weeks, Thor had sat with Loki in the library for four hours as he tried to keep himself awake, he had taken Loki on the longest rides in the middle of the night and woke exhausted the next morning, he had taken Loki to see the city and held him close all because Loki had wondered out loud what it would feel like to experience those things.

Then, out of the blue, he had packed a lunch for them and announced he had to go for a picnic. Loki had felt worried, because Thor had circles under his eyes and the night before he had complained of his back, but there was no dissuading him.

And because Loki had remarked on what a wonderful day it was, Thor had taken him to enjoy it.

Only Loki wasn’t enjoying it, he was feeling guilty.

Because he had lied and made Thor do these things.

He raised his gaze to the thread around his wrist, the runes Thor had promised him magicked into it.

Thor wore an identical one and Loki knew it prevented him from hurting Loki.  

Loki also knew that Thor berated himself and that was why he slept on their couch rather than the bed, though Loki had offered once to share, since it _was_ Thor’s.

But Thor had shook his head and told him he was fine.

And Loki had felt guilty all over again.

He looked up at Thor as he jumped from a rock, splashing water everywhere, and bit his lip.

As free as he was, Loki couldn’t live like this.

He just couldn’t.

It wasn’t who he was.

Exhaling, Loki looked up at Thor, then the clear skies and wondered when he had come to the decision to let Thor know his little secret.

He shook his head and went back to his book, trying to read and ending up lost in his thoughts again, so when a large shadow came over him, Loki didn’t even notice.

It was only when a few thick drops of water fell on his face that he blinked and looked up.

Thor stood, smiling down at him and dripping water on him and his book.

“I think you need a good dip” Thor chuckled

Loki’s eyes widened “No!”

He threw his book aside and scrambled to his feet, yelling when Thor tried to grab him and missed, then running into the trees and grassy plain behind them.

Thor gaped before taking off after him.

“Don’t you dare!” Loki called when he looked back and saw Thor chasing him “Thor, no!”

“It will energize you, I promise!” Thor laughed sprinting after his husband “Loki!”

Loki looked back, yelped and ran faster, making Thor growl and speed up, a huge grin on his face.

“Loki!”

Loki was a fast runner, but Thor was faster.

And in the end, he was caught.

“Thor!” Loki screamed when Thor looped an arm around his waist and threw him over his shoulder “Thor, stop it!”

Thor chuckled and carried his husband back, laughing when Loki squirmed in his grip. He started to run and Loki grunted, placing his hands on Thor’s back and pushing.

“This isn’t funny!” he yelled

But it only made Thor laugh and Loki jerked when he felt Thor climb up on the rock he had been jumping down from.

“No!” Loki yelped when Thor pulled him down, carrying him in both his arms and grinned down at him.

“Put me down!” Loki demanded, glaring at him.

“Poor choice of words” Thor said

Loki realized his mistake a moment too late.

“No!” he tried to hold onto Thor’s shoulder but there was no escaping this.

Loki’s shriek echoed in the air, making birds fly off as Thor tossed him into the cold, soothing waters. He hit the surface with a huge splash, the water reaching high into the sky.

Up above, Thor doubled over laughing and pointing at him.

He saw the water moving and he saw the froth created by Loki’s ungraceful landing. 

But he didn’t see Loki.

His guffaws of laughter began to dim as he sobered and where his eyes were just roving, now they began to search, looking for where Loki would surface.

“Loki” Thor chuckled “Come on, it was all a bit of fun”

Even his chuckles subsided and his eyes started looking around a little frantically.

“Loki?”

“Thor!”

Thor paled at the frantic scream and looked around, his eyes wild. A pained cry left his throat when he saw Loki being carried off by the waves.

“Thor…!” Loki went under and emerged a moment later, desperately clawing and gasping “Help!”

“Loki!” Thor dove into the water, going gracefully under the surface and swimming at full, impressive speed.

He raised his head, heart hammering, and saw his husband floating along, being dunked under the water.

Panicking, Thor dove in again and swam faster, paddling towards Loki, looking for the familiar pale skin and black clothes.

“Tho…!” a choke, gasping cry cut off nearly made Thor’s heart stop and he raised his head once more to see Loki holding onto protruding rock by his side, slumped over it in exhaustion.

“I’m coming!” Thor shouted and swam over.

Relief etched itself on Loki’s features and he threw himself into Thor’s arms when the other came close enough, holding on with dear life.

“It’s okay” Thor gasped, keeping him safe and holding him tightly with one hand as his powerful body went against the waves to the shore where they had been picnicking.

Loki was whimpering and crying softly as Thor lifted them both out of the water and walked over to the blanket to collapse on it.

“I’m so sorry” Thor whispered, crashing on all fours and letting Loki hold onto him “Loki, I’m so sorry”

Loki didn’t reply, he hid his face in Thor’s neck and Thor sat back, pulling Loki into his lap as he shivered.

“I’m so sorry” Thor panted, holding him tightly and placing his lips against Loki’s damp hair.

Loki pulled himself closer and opened his tightly shut eyes. He was shaking badly and his fingers were already feeling numb from fear.

“I …” he whimpered “I can’t swim”

Thor made a choked noise and held him tighter, begging for forgiveness and rubbing his face in Loki’s hair.

And at that moment, Loki thought that keeping his secret a little longer, wouldn’t hurt.


	9. Clever Little Trickster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clever ... Little ... Trickster
> 
> And a secret

The disaster at their picnic had not been forgotten, though Loki had tried desperately to make it so.

But when Thor proved himself to be someone capable of adopting ‘I’m sorry’ as his anthem and ‘Forgive me’ as his mantra for whenever he saw Loki, it was becoming very hard to forget.

Ever since that day, some three nights ago, Thor had become this meek, humble being around Loki that did whatever Loki asked – or what Thor thought Loki would ask.

He had started to keep his distance and stay with him at the same time, muttering apologies when Loki even raised a brow to him and muttering curses to himself, sometimes loud enough to make Loki look up from his reading or activities, or berating himself in other ways.

He had all but announced that he was nothing more than a monster, that did nothing other than harm

Loki, and though Loki cherished the privacy he got, he couldn’t stand this side of Thor.

It was rather frightening.

Tonight, during dinner, Thor had accidentally touched Loki’s hand and pulled his back, begging forgiveness before suddenly rising and leaving the room.

Loki had sat stunned, wondering what the hell had just happened.

He had waited, thinking Thor would come back, but when the clock chimed its tune and Loki found out it was past midnight, he sighed, placed aside his napkin and stood to bathe. However, his gaze went to the door and his feet began to lead him to where his husband had gone to.

Since it was so late, the guards were few, Loki found himself easy at going through the halls and looking around, searching for Thor.

He didn’t know what he wanted with him, what he wanted to say, but he knew he couldn’t leave him in such harsh guilt.

He was beginning to give up when he heard strained noises coming from one of the rooms he had never really held interest in. Frowning, he walked over and raised a hand to knock when he heard a pained grunt and a loud thud.

Without thinking, Loki pushed open the door and walked in “Thor, are you…?”

Loki broke off, stumbling to an awkward stop when he saw a tall man, bared to the waist, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he punched a practice dummy. Sleek muscles moved under amber skin as his huge arms punched the unfortunate dummy, sending it back with each vicious hit of those bandaged hands.

Upon the interruption, he turned and furrowed his brow, thick light blonde hair shining in the dim candle light. His violently golden eyes rested on Loki and he raised a thin, arched brow.

Loki stared at him, dumb struck a moment before he blinked and stepped back

“Forgive me, I thought …”

“Loki” the man smirked, relaxing his stance “Thor’s new wife”

Loki, who felt a chill go up his spine when those eyes fixed on him, scowled.

“I beg your pardon?” he snapped.

The stranger smirked and shook his head before he went back to punching his dummy “You shouldn’t be out this late, your Highness, there are bad men afoot, willing to harm beauty such as yours”

Loki glowered at him “Are you always this pleasant?”

“Are you always this naïve?” the man punched twice and stopped before fully turning to Loki, giving him a view of his muscled torso “I said go back, Loki, nothing good comes with staying with someone like me”

Loki flushed and looked away wondering how many half naked men he had the displeasure of seeing here. They moved about as if clothes were a punishment and more often than not, Loki had to lower his gaze when he walked about Asgard.

“I wanted to…” Loki broke off “Have you seen my husband?”

The man frowned “Is he not with you?”

Loki looked at his face in irritation “Of course he isn’t, do you see him here?”

The stranger chuckled “No, your majesty, I do not”

“Have you seen him?” Loki asked, enunciating each word

“I might have seen him pass by” the man scratched his head

“And?” Loki prompted when he went silent.

“I don’t really have an obligation to tell you” he said

Loki gaped “Of course you do! I am the prince!”

“Nay” the man chuckled “you are _a_ prince, not _the_ prince. My loyalty belongs to the Princes of Asgard, not their brides”

Loki felt his mouth hang open and for the first time, he felt worry crawl over him. He should have left much earlier.

“Well” Loki said, crossing his arms over his chest “I see. That is your choice, then. I bid you good night”

“Don’t you wish to know the whereabouts of Thor?” the man asked, stepping closer.

“No, thank you” Loki stepped back and jerked to a stop when he hit the edge of the door behind him.

He turned and looked but when he turned back, the stranger was right before him.

Loki gasped and froze in dread when the man looked into his eyes, head tilted aside. He cringed when a large, battle worn hand touched his chin and tipped his head up.

“What does he see in you?” he asked softly

Loki swallowed, hands raised to ward him off.

“Loki?”

Loki breathed in relief when the man backed off and gave him space enough to run into the hall where he heard Thor’s voice.

“Here” he called, rubbing his arms as he came out of the room.

Thor frowned when he saw him and his pale face.

“Loki, what…?”

Thor broke off, scowling when he saw the man that leaned on the door behind Loki. His hands fisted when he got an infuriating grin as greeting.

“You should keep your wife close, Thor” the man jeered “she could wander someplace dangerous”

Thor strode forward as Loki came to him and placed a protective arm about him.

“Stay away from him, Bragi” Thor snarled “He is my consort, so pay him respect!”

Loki shivered, feeling he had discovered something ugly. Unconsciously, he moved closer to Thor.

“I was just greeting him, welcoming him into the family” Bragi said, then caught Loki peering at him and gave him a wink.

He sniggered when Loki looked away “Such modesty”

Bragi raised his gaze to Thor’s “Quite an opposite you got yourself, brother”

Loki froze when Thor tensed against him.

Brother?

Thor snarled “You are no brother of mine, Bragi”

“Really, Thor?” Bragi sneered, pushing off the doorjamb and coming to join them in the hallway “Have you not tired of this argument?”

Loki felt Thor’s fingers on his bicep and he felt Thor move to shield him a little. He looked to his chambers and thought about making a run for it.

But Bragi merely chuckled.

“Such distrust” he sneered and stopped, crossing his arms and cocking a hip “I feel offended”

“I feel like I don’t give a damn” Thor snapped back, but he knew this was neither the time nor place for something like this “understand that and get out of my sight, Bastard”

Loki was stunned when he realized Thor meant the literal meaning and not the insult; like a nickname.

Bragi understood that difference too, because as Loki watched, his eyes darkened. His mocking demeanor vanished and he dropped his arms to his sides, stance deadly.

Loki’s hand fisted in Thor’s tunic and when Bragi saw that, he paused.

“The only reason you are not flat on your back” he told Thor and pointed to Loki “is because of him. Tempt me and I shall not care”

“Get lost” Thor growled.

Bragi smirked, sneer back in place “Why, does my presence bother you?”

“It has bothered me since I first saw you” Thor growled “now _leave_!”

Loki looked between the two, anxiety rising. They were both _huge_ and he didn’t think he could stop them if this escalated to a fight.

“Thor” Loki said, gently placing a hand on his shoulder “Stop and think, this won’t end well, so please, let’s just leave”

Thor glared at Bragi while the other smirked.

“Yes, Thor, listen to your beautiful wife” Bragi sneered, smirking when Loki flushed brightly in shame.

Thor made an angry movement but Loki stopped him “Please, just let it go”

Thor seemed to calm under his touch and turned to leave.

Bragi watched as Thor spun around, Loki attached to his arm and looking back. He winked at the pale, green eyed man.

“Good night, princess”

Thor stopped.

Loki gasped and held onto his arm “Thor, no..!”

He yelled out when Thor roughly shoved him aside and lunged at Bragi. Loki hit the ground and looked up to see Thor growl and tackle Bragi.

“Thor, don’t!”

But Bragi had been ready, he wanted this. He grabbed Thor’s tunic and shoved him forward, using his momentum against him and slammed him into the wall.

Thor groaned, but managed to stand without faltering and lunged at Bragi once more, slamming his fist in the other’s jaw, then grunting when Bragi pounced at him, holding him around the waist and slamming him into the nearest wall before pulling back and punching him in the face.

Once 

Twice

Three times and Loki yelled, running over, trying to halt this.

“Stop it!” Loki grabbed Bragi’s arm and pulled “Let him go!”

But Bragi simply shook him off and continued to beat Thor down. He was better, he was stealthier and he wasn’t driven by rage.

It was no match.

Loki ran forward, once more latching on to Bragi’s arm and pulling.

“Bragi, stop!”

It was like he had frozen him.

Bragi stopped immediately. His hand, which was raised to pummel Thor, halted high above and he looked at Loki with his violently golden eyes and lowered it.

His other hand released Thor and Loki jumped back in case Bragi decided to hurt _him_ instead.

Thor grunted in pain, raised a hand to his spinning head and grimaced when he saw blood on his hand. Bragi looked at him and scoffed.

“Thor!” Loki made to go to him.

He froze when Bragi suddenly turned to look at him, his eyes wide in apprehension. He swallowed loudly, his eyes going to where Thor lay dazed.

Bragi scoffed once again and shook his head “You could have done better than _this_ ”

Loki flinched when the man turned, golden eyes blazing, and stomped to the room he had been in, banging the door shut.

Loki leapt into action, falling on his knees beside his husband.

“Thor, are you alright?” 

He raised a hand to touch Thor’s wound, but pulled back when Thor batted his hand away.

“I’m fine!” he snapped, moving forward and standing unsteadily to his feet.

Loki stood with him, ready to catch him in case he fell, but Thor kept his balance.

He stumbled forward and Loki compromised by grabbing his arm and leading him back to their chambers.

They stumbled forward and Thor glared at the guards that looked at them, daring them comment before he let Loki take him to their chambers.

Once inside the privacy, Loki helped Thor sit on the edge of the bed, ignoring Thor’s grumpy ramblings, and went to the bathing room to get a healing kit he had seen there. As he lifted it up and pulled forth a large bowl of water, Loki wondered how many times Thor had gotten himself beaten up and wondered what the hell he had uncovered tonight.

He didn’t know of another Odinson and now he was so miserably confused that he kept thinking of strange scenarios to all this.

Perhaps Odin had a first wife and Bragi was hers?

Perhaps Odin had an affair and it was a dark, family secret?

Loki chuckled, thinking of this as an over dramatic book rather than a family as he walked back to Thor.

Thor gave him a glare “You think this is funny?”

Loki’s smile vanished and he shook his head, lowering his gaze “No, I’m sorry”

Thor grunted, pride bruised more than his body, and waited while Loki placed the things before him.

Thor was a proud man and a proud warrior, Loki realized, he didn’t take well to losing anything and getting beaten up in front of his new spouse was probably humiliating for him. And since Thor was a stubborn, emotionally constipated idiot, he would lash out.

Loki set the things on the bed and put a wad of cotton into the water to clean Thor’s wounds. He flinched when Thor took it from him and began to fix himself, glowering the whole time.

Loki stepped back and thought about going to the couch to read. Or he could sleep. He looked at the bed longingly but Thor was still sitting on it and he was a volatile mix of rage and wounded pride, so Loki didn’t know what to expect. 

It would be wise to wait.

“What were you doing with him this late?” Thor snapped suddenly.

Loki raised his stunned gaze to Thor 

“I wasn’t _with_ him, Thor, I was looking for you”

Immediately, guilt pasted itself on Thor’s features and he softened.

Loki watched, biting his lips as Thor heaved a sigh and fell back on the bed, eyes closed as he held the bloody cotton to his bloody face.

“I’m sorry” Thor rasped 

Loki didn’t reply.

“I’m so sorry for everything, Loki” Thor said “I can’t do anything right where you are concerned and I …”

Loki blinked when he choked off and remained silent afterwards. He waited for him to continue again, but Thor didn’t so he walked to the closet.

“My Father was a rake in his early days” 

Loki stopped when Thor spoke.

“When he was still a prince, he was a warrior, the best in their realm, he was a crowned prince and he was arrogant” Thor said, eyes fixed on where the drapes met above him on the bed “he was also someone every woman wanted.”

Loki flushed

“He had many trysts, as do most Aesir men, but this one woman caught his attention” Thor went on “she was an elf and my father couldn’t resist. Bragi is the result of that affair”

So, Loki’s second guess was right.

“When my Father married my mother and became King” Thor said “Bragi’s mother brought the toddler forth, announcing him as Odin’s heir. She demanded Odin do right by his child and give him what he was owed. Odin didn’t refuse, but since Bragi was born out of wedlock, he could never gain the throne. His mother was furious and though Odin kept Bragi, raised him as his own, he never truly gave him power.

He was given the rank of a noble, a viscount, anything. But Bragi refused.”

Loki watched as Thor sat up again, grabbing another wad of cotton to place on his injures.

“His mother died trying to get him the throne, but Odin refused” Thor said, squeezing access water out of the wad before placing it on his face “he didn’t think Bragi would make a good king and that hurt him more than Odin would know.” 

Thor sighed “So he took a terrible revenge”

Loki stilled, listening to Thor very closely.

“When Balder was nine” Thor said, “and named the possible Crowned Prince, Bragi took him to the forest”

Loki didn’t like where this was going.

“There is a five year gap between Bragi and Balder, so there was nothing that indicated what happened next was a mistake” Thor told him “it was deliberate”

“They went down to this … witch” Thor said “and Balder didn’t want to go, but Bragi insisted and from what I know, forced him to go.”

Heaving a sigh, Thor went on “We do not know the details of what happened there, but Balder was poisoned”

Loki gasped, eyes wide.

“Burned from the inside” Thor went on and Loki noticed tears in his eyes “My Mother and Father nearly died when they saw him and did everything they could to save him, but somehow…”

“You don’t have to…”

Thor raised a hand to silence him “The poison melted the inside of his throat and his body, made them all meld together and stick. I was five years old, and I do not remember it all, but I remember my mother clutching her heart and falling to the floor and I remember my father screaming. I have never heard him scream before”

Loki realized his hands were shaking.

“They saved him,” Thor shook his head “he couldn’t talk for a few years, but Idunn, Norns bless her, gave him her healing apples and fixed him up to an extent we never imagined. We owe her everything”

Loki swallowed.

“My father never punished Bragi” Thor looked at him “he never even called him over to talk to him, he went on like nothing happened and Bragi, the sick bastard had the nerve to do the same”

Loki shuddered 

“I wanted to kill him ever since” Thor said “but my father stops me. Norns know why, but he does.

Balder has done everything he could to protect me and I can’t bring him justice for such a severe wrong done to him”  

Loki looked aside, rubbing his arms to keep the chill at bay.

“What you witnessed tonight” Thor said “was me losing my control. I _hate_ him, Loki, and I will not rest until his blood is on my hands. No one does us wrong and gets let off”

Loki raised his eyes to Thor a moment before he shuddered.

For another reason, entirely.

Thor saw him shudder and sighed “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

“It’s alright” Loki said softly before clearing his throat “We should…”

He walked off, heading to the bathroom.

“Loki”

Loki jerked to a halt, swallowing loudly, but didn’t turn.

He heard Thor stand up and he forced himself to stand still until Thor came right behind him; so close Loki could feel the heat he gave off.

He bit his lip to stop it from quivering and held himself tighter to stop his shudders.

“The reason I left is to try and amend what I have done to you. What I said applies to us, too. I cannot do you wrong and expect you to forget about it. I _need_ to make it alright.” Thor’s breath fanned Loki’s nape “I left because I went to get you this”

Loki blinked in surprise and turned his head back slowly looking at Thor, then at his hands.

Loki’s mouth fell open and his eyes widened when he saw what Thor had.

To an ordinary person, they seemed to be nothing more than small, black keys. But upon further inspection, one would see that the black coloring is actually runes and the keys would fit perfectly in the locks branded on Loki’s wrists.

They were his keys; to set him free again.

Loki went cold and looked at Thor in shock. He couldn’t form words, he couldn’t even breathe.

Thor chuckled “You’re speechless again”

Loki didn’t speak, again, he couldn’t. He watched as Thor gently pried his wrist away and pulled one key between his fingers.

Loki cried out softly in shock and awe when Thor fit the key into the lock and turned it.

The tiny click that filled the room was the only sound and a moment later, the first band fell to the floor with a loud, resonating clank.

Loki still gaped, unable to form words or thoughts as Thor reached for the other and unlocked it. When this one fell, Loki gasped because something flowed in him, from the base of his skull down to his toes, tickling and caressing him as it went.

He stumbled away from Thor, a little dizzy, and looked at his hands.

He could feel it, he could feel his magic return!

“Thor!” Loki gasped, sending visible green tendrils into the air and making them dance to the ceiling

“Thor!”

Thor watched him, mesmerized by him as Loki gazed at his hands.

His eyes were wide and glossed over, his mouth parted almost like awaiting a lover, his face was relaxed and his entire aura changed from caution to happiness.

Thor couldn’t look away.

He became stunned when Loki made animal shapes with his tendrils and made them prance about the room, spinning as he controlled them and laughing loudly when they obeyed.

Thor committed the beautiful sound to memory and watched him, all unpleasantness forgotten.

Because this was beautiful.

Loki, was beautiful.

Then Loki stopped spinning, stopped his magic when he saw that Thor was still there. His mouth moved without forming words and Thor chuckled.

“I take it you like it?”

He expected an answer, or Loki flushing beautifully, but he didn’t expect Loki to suddenly run up to him.

Thor blinked when Loki paused right in front of him, hands to his chest, and looked up at him with his lovely eyes.

Then, blushing, Loki placed his hands on Thor’s shoulders, leaned in and gave him a shy kiss on the cheek. Then he rested his forehead on Thor’s shoulder.

“Th- thank you”

Thor smiled and wound his arms around Loki, knowing that he had at least made something right.

***

Fandral was rather amused, looking at his friend. Thor was prancing around like a love struck teen, not a full grown adult, and a prince.

There was something in his eyes that hadn’t been there for a whole year and there was something missing from his eyes that had settled upon him when Jane died.

He smiled and beamed like there was something beautiful in everything and Fandral noticed him giving glances to the dark haired prince that accompanied them on this trip.

It was nothing spectacular, nothing like what they normally did, it was just dinner at a good inn at one of the most posh places in Asgard.

Normally, they went hunting for good food in the most infamous streets of Asgard. The food coupled with the ever present threat of something dangerous happening make everything more exciting but tonight, they had Loki with them and Thor thought it would be a good idea to play it safe for once.

The rest of his friends were waiting at the inn, getting them the largest table and ensuring that Thor’s new spouse would get the very best entertainment and food.

Fandral chuckled when he saw Loki trying to look _everywhere_ at once. His emerald eyes went from the lights to the ceilings, to the windows as people peeked down at them, already aware of his arrival here.

They watched curiously, the half thing Thor had married and Fandral frowned at the amount of scowls Loki was getting. Not that the boy noticed, he was too busy being marveled by the lights and colors around him.

Fandral cleared his throat and nudged Thor, jerking his head towards the few people glaring at Loki.

Thor’s mouth tightened when he saw them and he grabbed Loki’s hand, twining their fingers together.

Loki looked down, surprised, then up at Thor, but the man was gazing ahead and when Loki tried to discreetly take his hand away, Thor tightened his grip, making Loki stay.

So he let it stay there and tried not to let it bother him – until a mischievous smile crawled over his lips and he gave Thor a side long glance.

Slowly, he reached for his magic, and ran a small electrocution spell down his arm and into his fingertips before he shocked Thor.

Thor yelled, and leapt aside, waving his hand in the air and looking at it in disbelief before looking at Loki, mouth agape.

Loki looked at him with a blush on his cheeks and a mischievous smile on his face. Thor lost himself, just clutching at his hand and wishing he could look at that face forever.

Fandral cleared his throat and Thor looked to see he was being stared at.

He bit his lip and lowered his head, blushing as he walked beside Loki, feeling embarrassed. He walked a little distance before he gasped, looking at Loki when he laced their fingers together and gave Thor a shy smile.

A slow grin pasted itself on Thor’s face and Fandral shook his head at the almost idiotic look on his prince’s face.

***

Theoric was new and Loki realized that the feeling of discomfort he had was something terminal.

All his life, Loki had been alone, he had no friends and he had no one to call his own other than his brother, who he had run off now. He didn’t know how to act around people when they laughed or joked or had smiles over their faces when they looked at you.

Fortunately, he didn’t have to worry about _that_ little detail.

No one was smiling at him.

No one was looking at him either, except maybe Sigyn but she had to pay attention to Theoric and her waves and smiles got fewer and far in between. Fandral was including him in his jokes, then he saw a woman and that was the last Loki had seen of him. Volstagg was too involved in his meal and Hogun was taking all of Balder’s attention as he sat with Idunn while she chatted with Thor about something.

So, as usual, in a room filled with laughing, drinking people, Loki was alone.

He raised a hand to stifle a yawn behind it before reaching for his goblet of juice and sipping it.

He began to cough immediately, his body wracked with spasms as the drink burned down his throat, making him gag and splutter. He placed to goblet back and felt Thor’s hand on his back, tapping him gently, asking what happened.

Gasping, Loki managed to control himself and leaned his head back against the seat and closed his eyes a moment, because _everyone_ was staring at him.

Somewhere, between the throbbing in his temples, he heard Thor and opened his eyes.

“What happened?” Thor’s gaze was worried.

Loki looked at the table and realized he had taken Thor’s port rather than his drink and groaned.

“I seemed to have” he rasped before clearing his throat “confused our drinks”

Thor looked at the table, then smiled and squeezed Loki’s shoulder. He winked at Loki.

“I don’t mind”

Loki blushed and was glad no one really noticed; they went back to their conversation. Thor talked to Idunn again, but kept giving Loki glances, his face going from smiling to worried with each degree of time spent staring at his spouse.

Loki was in the darkest corner, almost slouched and just stared at the edge of the table. He wasn’t talking to anyone and he looked like he wanted to sleep.

Thor bit his lip, feeling guilty. 

He had brought him here to enjoy time with his friends and ended up ignoring him completely. But Loki hadn’t tried initiating conversation either and is friends just – respected that.

No, Thor wasn’t stupid enough believe that. He knew that his friends had reservation in befriending Loki and that was because of what Loki had done. But Thor had forgiven him, why couldn’t they?

Thor sighed and turned back to Loki, grinning

“What do you say to both of us ditching my friends and leaving the bill to them?” he chuckled “I can show you something you have never really seen before”

Loki’s eyes widened and he looked at his table but Thor squeezed his hand for attention and winked at him.

He leaned forward and Loki tensed but Thor only spoke against his ear “Meet me outside. Count to ten after I leave, then follow me”

When Thor pulled back, his eyes were shining and Loki realized his friends were watching. He blushed when he realized what they were thinking.

A newlywed couple sneaking off into the night – it truly meant only one thing.

Only, that in Loki’s story, it didn’t it meant something totally different and he realized he wanted to experience it.

Thor sat back, chatted a little before he suddenly stood, excused himself to go to the toilet and turned, walking back into the restaurant and vanishing behind a curtain that held the bathrooms.

Loki waited, slowly counted to ten and stood as well. He didn’t excuse himself, because really who would notice? He walked to the entrance of the restaurant and walked out into the night.

He had his back straight as he walked out, knowing Thor’s friends were watching him, but now, he immediately felt like a stranger.

Out in the dark, he noticed the looks he got were hostile or something he didn’t want to think of too much. he didn’t see Thor and his eyes looked about almost frantically. He encountered nothing other than the scowling Aesir and he stepped back to go inside when he saw two thick men push off the wall, gazes fixed on him.

Someone grabbed his hand and Loki gasped, spinning around.

Thor smiled at him “Ready?”

Heart racing, Loki nodded, looking back to see that those men had disappeared into the darkness and feeling better immediately.

“Yes” he told Thor, then held his hand as Thor raced them back into the alley and used the backstreets to take him where he wanted to.

***

The lower part of Asgard was dangerous and filthy and the men and women that walked about leered openly at them both, occasionally snarling but never touching.

And Loki loved it.

He loved the side of Asgard he never knew existed; unclean, dirty and dangerous in a bad way.

Thor held Loki by his side, looking around for a familiar sign that would lead him into a restaurant or inn where the ale was watered but the food was great.

They passed a brothel and the women began to scream when they saw them.

“Oh look!” they called excitedly “the new Prince!”

“Hello, your majesty!” 

“Come over, I we wish to meet you!”

A few people turned at the excited screams and the barely dressed women that waved their handkerchiefs to Thor and Loki, waving them over.

“Come on, Prince Thor, let us meet him!”

“He looks to adorable!”

Loki looked at Thor, eyes wide and questioning.

Thor looked at Loki, then at the women, then back at Loki and gaped.

“You can’t be serious”

“Just a moment” Loki asked “Please?”

“I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?”

Loki shrugged and Thor sighed, rubbing a hand over his face “Fine”

Loki grinned and Thor memorized it before the other spun around and ran to the women, who screamed in delight and grabbed his hands to guide him in.

“Sit here, prince, the finest seat!”

“No, sit with me, I’ll let you share!”

“No, over here, Prince Loki!”

Loki was chuckling, astounded by these women and their colors and he had no idea where Thor had gone but he didn’t care at the moment as he was sat on a bench and the women sat around him, looking at him.

“Oh, you are wonderful!” one of them, seated at his feet, said “so pretty”

“And hair so dark”

“Do you like Asgard?”

Loki was flushed, flattered at such attention and grinned “Actually Asgard is better than I imagined”

They laughed loudly, fanning themselves.

“And how is the castle?”

“Is it as glamorous as we all think?”

“Forget the castle, how is your husband?”

A long ‘oooh’ filled the room and Loki blushed even darker.

“He’s really… nice?”

Clearly, it was the wrong answer because they all groaned.

“Please, don’t be so modest. Tell me, does he have special likings?”

“I heard he includes Mjolnir in bed”

Loki barked in laughter then put a hand to his mouth “Sorry”

“It’s no matter” a girl said, shifting closer “you can laugh as loud as you want here, we won’t tell”

“Or cry” another added, looking at Loki’s wedding ring “we don’t judge”

Loki smiled at them “That is very nice of you, my lady”

Again, a squeal of delight went through the women sitting all around him.

“So polite!”

“And adorable!”

“May I touch your hair?”

Loki laughed and lowered his head to the young woman, laughing when more than one began to touch his soft hair.

They laughed and chatted with him for a while before Loki was deemed worthy of being released. Their Madame arrived and though she greeted Loki with respect, she made it clear that he would have to pay I he wanted their time.

Loki nodded and told her he understood before he stood and looked for Thor.

He found his husband standing outside, waiting for him and smiled.

“Good woman, how many ladies do you have?” Loki asked

“Fourteen”

Loki looked at the pouch he carried and extracted fifteen gold coins. He gave one to the Madam.

“A gold coin for you if you let them keep theirs”

Excited screaming came from behind the woman and she rolled her eyes before taking the money from Loki and going to hand it out.

Loki was just short of worshipped and the women leaned out of the windows, waving and calling to him, making the whole street wonder what the hell had happened.

Loki walked off, waving at them as Thor led him away. He only stopped when he couldn’t see them and straightened with a smile on his face.

Thor’s chuckle made him look up.

“What?” Loki asked, frowning.

Thor grinned at him “I take you out to a nice dinner, introduce you to my friends, one of the finest people in Asgard and you don’t even look up from your meal. Then you meet a house full of whores and it’s like you met royalty. I’m just … fascinated”

Loki blushed and pushed a lock of hair behind his ear “Well, I just … understood them, I guess”

Thor frowned “What do you mean?”

Loki shrugged “Am I not a whore as well? Sold for peace instead of coin; a consort rather than a true concubine”

“No, Loki!” Thor turned and grabbed his shoulders and shook him a little “never call yourself something so demeaning! You are not a whore, you are my partner, my equal, my consort. You are a prince, Loki, nothing less”

Loki nodded, though it was clear he didn’t really believe what Thor had said and shrugged out of Thor’s grasp as they stood in a dark alley.

“So” Loki said “Where to?”

Thor didn’t like it, but he went along “Just a few alleys down. It will be the best ale you have ever tasted.”

Loki made a face

Thor laughed “Don’t worry, I won’t let you get drunk”

But he did.

And Loki didn’t remember having this much fun before.

Halfway through, when the inn gave them a tribute and began a song, they were requested to dance.

Loki, who shook his head first, flushed from drink and laughing, got up when Thor insisted and grabbed onto Thor’s shoulders.

They danced like drunk idiots. They ran the length of the room before holding their hands together and spinning around as fast as they could, laughing and shouting all the way through until they stumbled to a drunken halt.

Now, Thor led Loki back home. He didn’t drink too much because he wanted Loki to be safe but his mood was wonderful. Loki leaned on him and hummed the bawdy song they had been honored with at the inn, grinning and stumbling. He was doing it on purpose, Thor knew, and he couldn’t help but grin.

They reached their hallway and Loki delicately burped behind his hand, then dissolved into chuckles

“I’ve ever been drunk before” he announced, beaming at Thor.

“Really?” Thor chuckled “I wouldn’t have guessed”

Loki hiccupped and looked to the side “I think I might throw up”

“No, no” Thor held him tighter “just a moment longer, our room is right there”

Loki hummed and suddenly decided to lay his head on Thor’s shoulder and just lean on him, not even moving his feet and Thor had to carry him along like a large pillow.

When he reached their room, Thor placed Loki on the bed and went to the bathroom to tend to himself.

When he came back a few minutes later, he paused when he saw Loki lying on his stomach with his legs curled under him.

“I want to die” Loki announced

“I see” Thor chuckled and walked over with a wet cloth “what happened to ‘this is the best day of my entire life’?”

“That was then” Loki groaned, sighing when Thor placed the cool cloth behind his neck and tipping his head to give him more access “Now I am hung-over”

Thor laughed “Oh Loki, you are not hung over. That will come tomorrow and _believe_ me, that will bother you more than anything else”

Loki moaned in despair and lay down flat, closing his eyes.

“This is all your fault”

Thor smiled and turned the cloth over “I know”

“You should have stopped me”

“You are absolutely right”

“I should punish you”

“As you wish” Thor said “What do you want me to do?”

Loki was silent for so long Thor had thought he had fallen asleep. But then the young man turned his head and looked at Thor shyly, blushing.

“Scratch my back” Loki said very softly “it helps me sleep”

Thor grinned at the request and put the cloth aside “As I said; as you wish”

Loki turned red and buried his face in the pillows and pulled his hands under his chest. When Thor began to scratch his shoulder, Loki tensed and cringed a little, but then Thor started raking his nails in long strokes across Loki’s back, he hummed in pleasure and relaxed.

“Am I doing it right?”

Loki nodded into the pillows and Thor smiled.

He kept at it, occasionally fixing on a point until Loki squirmed before going back to what he was doing, and Thor could swear Loki had started to purr.

His husband hummed in contentment and Thor tried not to cheer when Loki shifted closer to him. Thor smiled and scratched him a little more.

Loki opened his eyes, dazed and still drunk.

“You know, I have never had this much fun before” 

Thor smiled and scratched Loki’s lower back as he looked at him “Really? Have you never snuck out of your home before?”

Inhibitions gone, Loki was rather adorable when he shrugged “I didn’t have any place to go. I didn’t have anyone to go with either, so it wouldn’t have been fun. Though I did trick my brother a few times into thinking I had left so he could go searching for me and I had a few hours of privacy”

Thor chuckled but didn’t comment.

“It didn’t end well”

Thor rested his hand on Loki’s shoulder “Loki, may I ask you something?”

Loki smiled drunkenly “Yes”

“What did your brother want?”

Loki blinked and his smile vanished. He turned his head into the pillows and shut Thor out.

Thor sighed and ran a hand down Loki’s back.

“Loki” he said softly, stroking his hair “Please?”

When Loki didn’t reply, Thor leaned forward to his head was parallel to Loki’s and pulled the pillow away, making Loki give him a one eyed stare.

“Don’t hide from me” Thor said, gently making Loki face him fully and running a hand through his raven hair “never hide from me”

Loki flushed but he didn’t smile. He licked his lips before speaking.

“He wanted me to …” he broke off “remember the clause you changed in the treaty?”

Thor’s eyes widened

“That”

Thor’s mouth turned into a grim line.

“I think you brother is a sick man”

Loki looked away again, rubbing his face in the remaining pillow.

“I …” Loki said “I don’t want to talk about this”

“Then what do you want to talk about?”

Loki looked at him and moved his shoulders, demanding Thor continue his work.

“Tricks”

“Oh” Thor grinned “You like playing tricks?”

“Whenever I can” Loki said “I have tricked so many people you have no clue”

“Really?” Thor scooted closer “tell me”

“Well” Loki began to think “Once I shaved the hair off the head of one of my brother’s long time allies. He didn’t have much to begin with and he wasn’t very nice to me, so I shaved it off”

He chuckled.

“I never intended for him to think that way, but he thought he had been cursed and stopped helping my brother”

Thor smiled and laughed “What else?”

“Let’s see” Loki turned on his back and looked up at him “Once, and this was an accident, I tried to shape shift and I ended up with a cat’s tail and ears atop my head”

Thor guffawed, picturing Loki with a tail and ears.

It was the cutest thing he could ever imagine.

Loki, encouraged, kept on going, telling him of his tales and slowly letting his eyes droop closed to the lull of Thor’s deep laughter.

Thor looked down when Loki’s words turned to hums and saw him on the precipice of sleep.

“What else?” Thor asked

When Loki didn’t reply, he shook him a little. Loki had been about to doze off for some time and Thor wanted to talk to him, so he kept irritating him enough to get replies. 

“Hmm?” Loki asked softly without opening his eyes.

“What is the greatest trick you played?”

Loki smiled and gave a contented sigh “Think of our wedding night, Thor, you’ll know”

Thor froze, looking at him “What?”

Loki hummed in response but didn’t reply and a moment later, a soft snore rose from him.

But Thor had gone cold his eyes were focused on Loki and his heart beat rapidly in his chest as he thought on what Loki had said.

Thunder began to thrum outside as Loki slept peacefully unaware of what he had just done.

Loki woke the next morning in agony.

He was a groaning, whimpering mess and he _looked_ like it.

Sun light was his enemy and sounds were trying to kill him even the sheets, when he slid them aside, sounded like gongs in his ears and he winced as he pulled himself out of bed and into the bathroom.

Without a thought, he turned the water on and while it filled, he began to undress and started to think about last night.

He remembered meeting those whores and even in his miserable state, he smiled. They were nice. He remembered following Thor into a bad inn and he remembered drinking.

Ah yes, the drinks he remembered. He had so many he lost count after that and everything had turned into bliss and color. He didn’t even remember coming back and wondered if he had passed out sometime during the night.

Groaning against a head ache, he slipped out of his clothes and into the water as he let it soothe him enough to concentrate.

He waved a hand over his head and torso, soothing himself, healing the damage done to him. It took him a while because he was at the edge of falling asleep as the water lulled him.

He sighed as clarity began to wash him along with the water and realized that his hang over was fading.

He still couldn’t remember anything, but he was content with it for now. Last night had been one of the most memorable nights of his life.

A knock on his door made him look up. It wouldn’t be Thor – he didn’t know how to knock, so expecting a servant, Loki raised his head and called them to enter.

Idunn skipped into the bathroom and Loki yelped, crossing his legs and placing his hands over his torso

“What are doing!?” Loki asked, staring at her with wide eyes.

Idunn blinked at him as if he was insane “I came to see you. Why?”

Loki gaped “Really? Is that your explanation?”

Idunn rolled her eyes and went to sit on a far away bench “So, you two left us last night”

Loki flushed “It wasn’t my …”

She raised a hand “I wasn’t accusing. No one other than Sif was angry and they were happy to pay for the overpriced meal”

Loki just stared, not moving. He had never been naked before anyone and it was seriously bothering him.

“Could you give me some privacy?”

Idunn frowned “Why?”

Loki blinked “I need to bathe”

“I am not stopping you” she smiled.

Loki swallowed, feeling vulnerable and looking it too, because Idunn nodded and got up with a smile.

“I’ll stand by the door, then” she said and Loki gave her a grateful look and went back to washing himself.

“Will you not tell me what you did?” Idunn asked as she sat on the floor, leaning against the door

“There’s not much to tell” Loki replied, washing his arms “we went dancing”

“What?” Idunn almost yelled “Thor took you dancing?”

“Aye” Loki said “Is that strange?”

“For him, it is out of character” she said “He never dances unless someone forces him”

Loki rubbed the back of his neck, pressing down on his shoulders and sighing a moment before grabbing shampoo and rubbing it into his skull.

“What else?”

Loki smiled “To be honest, I do not remember much after that. I remember spinning around really fast and oh, we went to a brothel”

There was a short silence

“Thor took you dancing and then he took you to whores?” 

“Don’t call them that” Loki said “they don’t have a choice. They don’t really like what they do”

Idunn hummed “Did you learn something?”

Loki hummed and washed his hair out “Asgardian women are very well endowed”

Idunn chuckled “How did you discover that? Did they embrace you and you lost your head between them?”

Loki spluttered and blushed deeply. He should have known better

Idunn chuckled “May I ask you something?”

It brought a trickle of familiarity and Loki nodded “Of course”

“Why do you blush so much?”

To his chagrin, Loki blushed again “I don’t know”

“Perhaps it’s your skin” Idunn said

Loki nodded and looked around for a towel to put around his waist.

“Anyway, I was thinking…”

The doors banged open and Loki startled. Even Idunn shut up.

“Out” Thor growled.

It sent chills up Loki’s spine when Idunn, someone who Loki expected to annoy more than obey, stood, bowed her head to Thor and left.

It didn’t bode well.

Loki sat frozen a moment, waiting for Thor to come in, but when he didn’t, Loki hurriedly got out and put the towel around himself, covering his body from neck to knee. He pushed his damp hair back and went to the door, carefully peeking over the edge.

Thor was growling, something held tightly in his hand as he paced. His eyes were focused on the floor and he reminded Loki of a caged panther; angry and volatile.

Immediately something stirred anxiously within Loki and he hid behind the door again, thinking of jumping back in the bath until Thor got tired and left or something.

It always worked with his brother when he was angry. He paced, growled, snapped and insulted, them left.

And Loki would make himself scarce until his temper went away. Now, however, his hitch was that his clothes were in the room with Thor and he couldn’t very well go out naked and roam the halls.

He sighed and thought about another bath, perhaps that would make Thor leave.

He took one last peek at the room before walking back to the bath.

“Loki”

Loki froze. His brain went over things he did last night and nothing turned up.

What had Thor so angry, he didn’t know. And he a terrible feeling he was about to find out.

“Loki?”

“H – here” Loki breathed “just give me a moment”

Thor hummed but didn’t reply. Loki heard him move about a little and swallowed before turning back.

Thor was sitting on the bed, waiting for him and for a terrifying moment, Loki thought he wanted to take him. But Thor gestured to the wardrobe and Loki rushed forward, pulling out some clothes and running back into the bathroom to throw them on.

He dressed in record time, instinct telling him that something was really wrong. Looking at himself, Loki ran a hand over his head to fix a few strands of hair and walked out.

Thor looked so _imposing_ as he lounged on the bed, playing with something in his hands, his gaze fixed on Loki.

Loki watched him apprehensively, his gait stuttering until he stopped a few feet away from Thor, ready to run in case something bad really happened.

“You called?” Loki asked, nervously twining his fingers.

“I want you to tell me something, Loki” Thor said, looking at him right in the eye “And I want you to be truthful, understand?”

Loki’s heart began to hammer within his chest and his breath started to falter.

“Yes” he breathed.

“What happened on our wedding night?”

Loki paled, he went so white he could be mistaken for a ghost. His pupils shrunk in fear as he stared at Thor, swallowing audibly.

“Loki?” Thor prompted softly, sitting up and raising a brow when Loki took a step back.

“I …” Loki choked “Thor, I …”

He gasped and stumbled back when Thor stood.

“Turn around” Thor said

Loki felt his throat constrict in horror; he knew what Thor did in irritation, he knew what he did in rage – and he knew he was not Bragi.

“P – please” Loki whispered.

“Turn around” Thor said “so you won’t have to look at me when you speak”  

Loki didn’t turn, he just stared at Thor, retreating until he felt the wall behind him.

“I didn’t … mean it” Loki breathed.

Thor closed his eyes in grief and Loki realized Thor hadn’t really known anything.

But it was too late and when Thor opened his eyes, they were blazing in anger.

“Talk” Thor rasped “Now”

“Thor, please, I …”

“Now!” Thor yelled and Loki flinched.

Thor was going to hurt him, he knew it.

“Tell me!” Thor yelled, forcing himself to remain where he was “Tell me what I did to you and tell me what _you_ did to me now!”

Loki cringed though Thor was a fair distance away, keeping his hands on his chest and his eyes shut. He was shaking badly and took a deep breath before whispering.

“I was … so scared, Thor, I know it’s not excuse but you need to know why I did what I did, I didn’t…”

“Stop whimpering” Thor hissed “tell me bluntly”

Loki swallowed and fixed his gaze on the ground “I put a sleeping potion in your tea. You did nothing”

Utter silence fell in the room and Loki could hear his broken breath die before him.

“The blood” Thor said softly “Loki, there was so much blood”

Loki licked his dry lips “Tea leaves. From Jotunhiem; they are sometimes used as a dye”

There was another stunned silence.

“You drugged me”

The accusation fell between them with the might of Thor’s hammer.

“No, Thor” Loki looked at him “I didn’t …”

“Yes you did!” Thor yelled “you drugged me and then you created a scene to make me think I had raped you! How could you do that to me, Loki!?”

Loki flinched “Y- you weren’t listening …”

“That is no excuse and you know it!” Thor hollered “Do you have any idea what it did to me!? Do you know what it feels like thinking you are responsible for so much _pain_!? I thought I maimed you brutally!!”

Thor exhaled loudly and ran a hand through his hair, trying to calm himself and though it worked the edge off, it did nothing for his anger.

“Get out”

Loki looked up, ready to break “W-what?”

“Get out of my sight”

“Thor, please at least let me….”

“Get out!” Thor yelled, glaring at him.

Loki shrank back before turning and running for his life.

He tore open the door to their chambers and sprinted out into the hall, tears stinging his eyes as he panted for air.

He turned the corner, fear etched deep into his face and almost crashed into Balder.

“L-Loki!” Balder grinned, leaping back “What…?”

Loki raised his eyes to him a moment before he shoved back and ran away, his face pale.

“Loki!” Balder called after him, confused beyond reason.

But Loki didn’t turn.

He ran faster, past startled guards, past the maids that screamed and jumped aside and threw open the doors to the royal apartments to run down the stairs, bang open the doors and dashed through the gardens, going even faster when he heard thunder clouds gather above him.

Loki ran.

***

Loki didn’t see Thor for the next four days.

He was too ashamed to ask someone where he had gone lest they ask questions but it never left him. He lay in bed for the past three nights, alone and thinking of how he ruined something so much.

That day, when Thor ordered Loki away, Loki had run to Idunn’s trees, panting as he steadied himself against one and finally let his tears of pure fright fall before he sagged to the ground, gasping for breath.

He had stayed there well past the night and returned using his magic to create diversions and give him a peaceful walk back.

But when he reached his chambers, he had faltered, thinking of what Thor would do to him.

He would probably demand what Loki had denied him that night and the fear was enough to leave his hands shaking as he reached for the knob and went to meet his fate.

However, all his worrying came to naught when he opened the door and found it empty.

Loki frowned when he saw the empty room, looking around in case Thor was some place he didn’t immediately look to, but a sweep of the room told him he wasn’t around.

Then Loki spotted the half closed door of the wardrobe and stilled.

As if it wasn’t proof enough, Loki went to it and opened it to find most of Thor’s clothes gone and one look to the side showed him that Thor had taken his hammer as well.

Relief washed over him and Loki relaxed a moment before he realized he had chased his husband away.

He bit his lip and debated on whether he should leave the room or not.

He hadn’t. 

It would have been safer to wait here, perhaps for a few hours and see how the Aesir treated him or if someone came for him.

That had been four days ago and Loki had yet to leave the room. He ordered his meals to be brought up and didn’t care how he was strengthening the rumors of a fight between the royal couple.

All he cared about was making sure nothing happened to him because he knew what Thor was capable of. Loki had been lashed for breaking his daggers. He didn’t want to know what Thor would do over something like this.

A knock sounded on the door and Loki sat upright from where he lay pretending to read but actually used his magic to entertain himself.

“Who is it?” he called.

“Balder, your highness” Balder said, chuckling “do let me in”

It took Loki a few minutes to think.

Balder was laughing, joking, which meant that he probably didn’t know the true reason for Thor’s sudden departure. It reassured Loki a little because that meant no one else knew anything of that day, either.

Thor had kept his secret and it made Loki feel so much guiltier. 

“Loki?”

“I’m coming” Loki put the book aside and went to open the door.

He was dressed plainly, comfortably, in a green, sleeveless tunic and black breeches so he was a stark contrast to Balder, who looked magnificent in his armor and cape, shining like a beacon of hope.

“Greetings, recluse” Balder grinned.

Loki smiled at him, though it was mostly faked “Prince Balder”

“I was sent to get you for lunch” Balder said “Since your hero of a husband has worlds to save, it is I that must escort you to our meal. Father insists”

Loki felt something warm in him at the mention of Odin and nodded.

“Give me a moment”

Balder bowed and clasped his hands behind his back as he waited.

Loki looked back “You may enter”

Balder grinned and entered, looking around. Since Thor was gone, the room was dominated by everything Loki.

There were books everywhere and scrolls thrown carelessly about and Balder pictured Loki digging through his chest for books and throwing everything about.

It was a charming image.

He heard a thump and saw Loki stretching himself to get something from a high section on in the wardrobe. 

“May I help?”

“I have it” Loki tapped into is magic and the emblem bearing cape floated down into is awaiting hands.

“See?” he turned to Balder.

Balder blinked and smiled.

He knew little magic and appreciated it more than Thor and watching Loki do it without a modicum of true effort was fascinating.

He smiled and nodded to him, waiting as Loki pulled the cape on and straightened his clothing. He looked up at Balder.

“Is it okay?”

Balder, who had been staring a little, blushed and nodded “Perfect”

Loki gave him a small smile and led the way out into the hall, leaving Balder to follow. He heard Balder following him, trotting to his side.

“Are you well?”

Loki looked at him, keeping his secrets hidden “Yes, why?”

Balder raised a brow, “You haven’t left your room in days”

Loki looked ahead “I … I guess I miss my husband”

Balder smiled and chuckled “Ah”

Loki looked at him “What?”

“Nothing” Balder said, giving him a sidelong glance “You just …”

He broke off, smiling.

“Just what?” Loki asked as they rounded a corner, nodding to a few servants that greeted Balder.

“Surprise me” Balder told him “A few weeks ago, you looked right about to pass out on the altar and now you fall into depression at such a small separation”

Loki didn’t know what to say to he remained silent.

They reached the common suite where Loki had his breakfast every day with the family.

His family.

His new family.

The family he was lying to and betraying with every moment he spent with them.

It suddenly made him sick.

_What the hell was he doing!?_

He couldn’t face them, not now when he had psychologically harmed Thor so much.

Balder stopped and frowned when Loki stilled.

“Loki?”

Loki stared at the floor “I’m sorry…”

Balder came closer “Loki, what…?”

Loki suddenly looked up “I’m sorry, I don’t feel well”

Then he turned and ran back, cape billowing.

“Loki, wait!” Balder ran after him.

But Loki was fast and had a head start. He ignored the guards as he ran back into his room and slammed the doors shut, locking them before running to the bathroom and retching in the toilet.

***

His husband was a miserable lump under the covers when Thor walked in, a week after his departure. In the night sky and the candle dimmed light, Thor could make out Loki’s form curled on his side, covers up to his head. He was breathing softly and one part of Thor felt the tug on his heart.

He suppressed it ruthlessly.

Loki had tricked him – again.

And the wily minx had been so damned _clever_! Thor looked at the runes on his wrist and shook his head when he recalled the vow where he told he would forgo his vengeance.

As a prince, he would respect that vow; as an Odinson, he would keep it till his dying day.

He wasn’t one to break promises.

And he knew the promises most tempting to break were the beginning to a life of shattered vows.

He placed the bag he had taken on the ground before he pulled out his dirty clothes and began to take them to a small compartment in the bathing room where they would be taken by servants in the morning.

He didn’t want to come back so soon, but his father sent him a message, sending those irritating ravens, to tell him his royal chambers were prepared and he needed to come back and move into them.

Thor sighed and came back into the room, a thrumming of energy and still stirring anger humming inside his head, and lifted the bag again.

He reached in and pulled out two bottles of Bubble Bath and looked at them, a small smirk tugging his lips before he threw the bag aside and went to place them in the bath.

He turned on the water while he was inside and undressed, slipping into the blessedly welcoming waters.

After just sitting there for an hour, he bathed, used the shampoo and realized Loki had almost finished that as well.

Shaking his head, he added a little water to it and washed his dirty hair, then himself and drained the tub. He stood, dripping water everywhere and walked out of the room with nothing on.

He was in the middle of the room when he saw Loki stir.

He stopped as Loki raised his head from the covers and looked around. He waved a hand and the room was lit by brightly colored candles. As Thor watched, Loki realized the room wasn’t empty and the bath had been used.

Thor felt anger trickle up his back when Loki turned.

Loki gasped and sat up, holding the covers up to his chin as he stared at Thor with wide eyes before he gasped again and spun his head away.

Thor’s lip curled and he came to a chilled decision.

“Calm yourself, Laufeyson”

Loki flinched and put a hand over his mouth.

“I won’t touch you again”

Loki sat shivering, biting the back of his finger when he heard and felt Thor get into bed behind him. He tensed but Thor didn’t touch him.

“I am done making allowances for you” Thor turned his back to Loki and punched his pillow a few times before he lay down.

Crossing his arms, Thor closed his eyes and forced himself to sleep.

Behind him, Loki lay wide eyed and awake; not daring to move even after Thor’s snores rose to the ceiling.


	10. Forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor grows

It wasn’t until the second week of Thor’s return that Loki understood Thor’s comment.

 _I am done making allowances for you_ …

At first, Loki assumed that Thor was talking about himself, about how he hadn’t done anything to Loki for his mischief and how he wished he could, but held himself back every single time. Loki saw it.

He saw it at the breakfast table, lunch and the few times he caught Thor over dinner.

Thor had kept his distance, being around Loki only when it was meal times or when Odin and Frigga asked for it.

He would come and sleep in the bed with his new husband, but never touch … not even by accident.

It seemed as if his whole body was beginning to repel Loki and that thought made Loki feel so terrible that he stayed awake most nights and resorted to using spells to help himself sleep on nights when he couldn’t handle being awake for so long.

The days he spent in his new rooms, that they had moved to the day following Thor’s return.

They were lavish, the pillars and heavy curtains stood where the balcony greeted them, shining so beautifully it looked like water rested upon the marble surface, divans and loungers rested against the walls and to the right, were huge doors that clearly indicated there were more rooms back there.

When Loki walked in, followed by Frigga, he was stunned. His eyes had doubled in size at how _high_ the ceiling was and he wondered how many Frost Giants he could stand upon one another till they finally touched it. Then he looked to the gilded doors and walked forward, his cape moving behind him and pushed it open to gape.

The royal suite was _breathtaking_ a small lobby greeted him where soft couches were placed for those that would await them before a high arch in the ceiling led them into a small parlor. Beyond that, Loki ran into another huge room and gaped at how it could take in Jarnsaxa’s house _five_ times and still have space for the sad home Loki had lived in before.

A pair of curved staircases led up to a upper circle of the room and when Loki ran over, he saw a large, four poster bed, enough to house four, and more lavish furnishing.

Two doors stood on the west and east end and one beside the bed, clearly a bath.

“Do you like it?”

Loki spun around and saw Frigga watching him, her face full of amusement.

“It’s fit for a king” Loki told her, looking at the intricate designs on the ceiling above him “I … I never had anything like this before”

Frigga’s smile dropped a little and she walked over to place a hand on Loki’s shoulder “It’s yours, Loki. All of it. You don’t have to worry about anything; tell us if you want anything changed and…”

“No” he looked at her and smiled “It’s perfect”

He looked at the bed and bit his lip. It looked so soft and bouncy he longed to lie in it.

Frigga chuckled and squeezed his shoulder “Go ahead”

Loki gave her a startled glance.

She laughed “Son, I raised two boys, I think I recognize the look of someone wanting to do what you are at the moment” 

She gave him a gentle nudge “Go on”

Loki looked at the bed, then at Frigga and grinned.

Frigga laughed when Loki sprinted forward and leapt on the bed, laughing as he bounced on it and displaced all the pillows.

“This is wonderful!” Loki said, staring at the high dome where the drapes met up

Frigga laughed “I can see you like it”

Loki lifted his head and grinned at her “I love it”

Frigga snickered when Loki turned over on the bed and sat on his knees, bouncing a little like a child.

“You _can_ jump on it, Loki” Frigga said “It’s yours”

Loki looked at the bedding, then at his mother in law “I might break it”

She scoffed and waved a hand at him “Please, if Balder can do it, so can you”

Loki’s eyes widened and Frigga laughed.

“I shall see myself out”

“No, wait!” Loki rushed forward and stopped before her hesitantly. 

Frigga watched as he took her hand and kissed her knuckles.

“Thank you”

She smiled, her eyes shining before she stroked his cheek and kissed his forehead before embracing him.

Loki stood stunned for a moment, clearly never been embraced like this, and then put his arms around her. He was amazed when so much _calm_ went through him and didn’t realize he had rested his head on her shoulder.

They remained like that for a while and everything seemed perfect to Loki, for just that moment.

He knew it wouldn’t last.

And he was right.

Because that morning, when he woke to his lonely, beautiful room, Loki heard voices downstairs.

Getting up and putting his robe around him, Loki walked over to look past the railing at the edge of his bedroom and saw Thor talking to a few men.

Loki shrunk back and listened but their voices were too soft to be heard. He didn’t recognize any of the men that sat talking to his husband in soft voice, probably thinking him asleep, but he watched as they gestured to Thor, waving their hands a little in something akin to tension. But strain as he might, Loki didn’t hear them so it was rather useless just hovering where he was.

So he sighed, went to the bathing room to wash and dress and came out clean and refreshed, ready to take on the day.

The voices were gone which meant that he was alone when he walked down the stairs.

It was a clink of glass that made him turn and he stopped when he saw Thor standing there, pouring himself a drink from the decanter at this early hour.

Loki thought about leaving and he thought about saying something – perhaps a greeting.

“Good morn” Loki said.

Thor brought the drink to his lips and began to drink, leaving Loki in awkwardness before he finished it and turned to him. He watched Loki a long moment before he nodded.

Loki pulled his lips inwards and clasped his hands before him as Thor simply strode up the stairs and closed a door loudly.

Loki sighed and went to the door, simply walking out and ignoring the unpleasant incident.

“Loki”

It was basically the first time Thor had voluntarily talked to him and Loki felt like ignoring him. But Thor was already so angry and goading him didn’t seem wise.   

“Aye?” Loki turned to find Thor standing between the stairs.

Thor looked at him “Mother thinks we should go to the city after lunch. Be ready”

“Of course” Loki said and waited.

But Thor had nothing more to say and went upstairs, leaving Loki standing there, hands clasped before him, thinking.

He hated this, he really did.

He had been beginning to enjoy himself and now it seemed like he had ruined everything. He looked up to where his husband had vanished, then at the door.

Breakfast could wait. He needed to apologize first.

Loki sighed and walked up the stairs, ignoring how badly his heart was beating. When he reached the top, he found Thor standing and looking into a wardrobe, contemplating what outfit he would wear.

Loki cleared his throat and Thor looked up, frowning a little.

“What’s wrong?” Thor asked.

Loki sighed, thinking his words over carefully, and stopped a few feet away from his husband.

“I …” Loki began “I came to apologize”

Thor’s eyebrows rose “For which transgression?”

Loki looked at the ground, realizing he had done many wrongs to Thor “For … for the latest”

“Ah” Thor turned back to his wardrobe “Alright”

Loki blinked, looking at him.

He knew better. He had offered an apology, he should leave, but he didn’t. He watched as Thor flicked a few capes aside and reached in for something.

“That’s it?” Loki frowned

Thor looked back “What?”

“That’s all you have to say?” Loki asked, frowning “I apologized to you”

“And I acknowledged it” Thor said “Don’t think I will accept it so quickly, Loki, not with your track record”

Loki gaped “My record? What about the wrongs you did to me?”

The wardrobe slammed shut.

“Excuse me?” Thor asked, eyes narrowed

“You know what I refer to” Loki said, crossing his arms “back at the camp. You were the one that kept me like … like a whore! You tarnished my reputation in my homeland. You don’t know the names they called me.”

“And you don’t know the agony _you_ put me through” Thor told him “You tried to kill me!”

“I didn’t mean to…”

“Please!” Thor scoffed, opening the cabinet again “You didn’t mean it, just like you didn’t mean destroying all my belongs, destroying my daggers and _tricking_ me into believing you were something you were not. Just like you didn’t mean stealing my crown or when you made me think I was a brutal rapist!”

“You acted like one” Loki muttered

Thor slit his gaze “What?”

Loki flinched “I only did that because you weren’t listening to me, Thor! Why can’t you understand that?”

“And why can’t _you_ understand that lying and cheating and tricking will get you nowhere!?” Thor asked, gesturing to him “Do you even know what you did was wrong?”

“Of course I know!” Loki took an angry step forward “I couldn’t _sleep_ at night because I felt so _guilty_ when I looked at you. I wanted to tell you what happened but I couldn’t because …”

“Because you were enjoying moving me about on a string” Thor cut in, glaring at him

“No!” Loki protested “I couldn’t tell you because I was afraid! You lashed me when I broke your daggers, what’s to stop you from … from crippling me for something like this?!”

“My vow” Thor told him simply.

Loki blinked

“The vow I gave you” Thor said, looking at his eyes “is what prevents me. I could be _murderous_ and never harm you because you made me take a vow against my revenge and you made me wear these runes. Had you not done that, you would know my true wrath and not even a golden bowl would have protected you then”

Loki felt the color drain from his face.

“And you are such a clever little Trickster” Thor said, slitting his eyes, voice rising with each word “that you played the victim long enough to coax protection out of me and let me wallow in my guilt and horror for as long as you wanted. And you wouldn’t have told me. You _never_ would have told me a thing had you not gotten drunk and blurted it out!”

Loki lowered his gaze to the floor

“So forgive _me_ if I don’t accept your apology” Thor opened the door and yanked out the first outfit he touched “I know you think yourself as a martyr, as someone who sacrificed himself for his home and brother, but all I think you are is a  selfish little monster!”

Loki bit his lip and felt Thor’s words slice through him.

“You made me believe that I hurt you, you turned me into a villain and acted like my victim, scared and flinching, a true actor to the end, Loki, I commend you” Thor snarled, pushing and shoving things aside “I wanted to _die_ that’s how you made me feel and now you stand here – again - trying to turn me into some sort of heartless, prejudiced monster when it was you who was the sick minded, two faced bastard!”

Thor banged the door shut and walked past Loki, slamming the doors to the bath behind him.

Loki stood, head bowed for a long time under Thor’s insults, before he wiped a few thin tears from his eyes and turned to leave his new rooms.

***

“Your Majesty, let me”

Loki tried not to exhale in irritation when a servant took the teapot from his hands and proceeded in pouring his tea for him.

Really, he could do it himself in case everyone has forgotten.

“Thank you” Loki muttered as the man bowed and stepped back, ready to jump into action again at a moment’s notice.

Loki had realized that since he had been married, there were two reactions to his presence. The first was disgust, where men and women greeted him only where propriety demanded and ignored him otherwise. The second were those that treated him as though he was a woman.

Out of the two, he preferred the first.

Guards rushed to open doors for him, maids and servants lifted things he could have easily lifted himself. Woman, those in higher stations, came up to meet him, giving him suggestions on how to be pretty for their prince. Those men that talked to him, smiled at him and kissed his hand before letting him turn so they could laugh at him and make obscene gestures behind his back.

Other times, he heard people talk about his skin and hair and how they remained so perfect. Other times, men flirted with him and he found this insulting.

He was married, why do they do that?

This was all going through his head when his tea cup slipped from his hands and shattered on the ground. 

“Oh damn” Loki pushed his chair back and stood to pick it up.

“Your highness, wait!”

Loki growled, bit his lips to stop himself from screaming before he pushed his chair back and spun around to stride away, his gait angry.

He was done with this.

He moved through the common sitting area, banging the doors open before one of the guards could and marched ahead, anger in his aura.

His hand glittered with magic he wanted to release as he climbed down the spiraled staircase, through the lobby and out into the sunlit skies.

There were a few nobles around but they ignored him as he left, not even noting the angry tears in his eyes.

He took a left halfway down the pathway, glaring at everyone he saw until they lowered their gazes and went to the stables where the royal horses were kept.

It was a good thing that he saw Erik standing there because the horse looked up and neighed in delight, stamping a foot down and calling him over. Loki felt some of his dark mood lift and he walked forward, dismissing the stable hand as he came forth with one good glare and snapping his fingers. Immediately, Erik’s reins and saddle floated over and fixed themselves on the horse.

Loki turned and gave the lad a triumphant look before turning to Erik.

“You remember me, don’t you?” Loki asked, smiling at Erik “this afternoon, we ride”

Erik nickered as Loki led him out on the grass, then hopped on his back.

“Alright then” Loki patted the horse’s neck “go”

Erik neighed and stood on his hind legs before galloping into the distance, taking Loki away from all his problems.

For a while, at least.

He rode to the side of the castle, where the gardens were extensive and privacy was abundant.

***

“You have been rather silent, Thor”

Thor looked up when his father spoke and smiled, taken from his dark reverie.

“Forgive me” Thor said “I was lost”

Odin smiled and looked back at the map before him. Opposite him, sat Byleistr. They were both discussing the paths Farbauti could most likely take to get to them and how many of their men they could position there. There were red and blue threads crossed over each other on the map, marking out places they had protected and those they hadn’t. 

Both Byleistr and Thor’s father were murmuring amongst themselves, trying to decide what Farbauti was likely to do.

His threat was imminent and the information Tyr sent them kept getting direr by the passing moment.

The last scroll told them that Farbauti had met up with Jotuns taking part in the civil war and coerced them into joining him. It also said that his Jotuns were larger than Tyr had seen in years. Full blooded, warrior Jotuns that hated the Aesir and were already vowing revenge for what Odin’s army had done.  
Helbindi was still missing and Tyr thought he was probably dead.

He was still searching, though and wouldn’t consider anything solid until he found a body.

So now, going on his information, Odin and Byleistr were making plans to destroy the attack before it came.

“What of this?” Odin pointed to a large hill that over looked a large flat plane of land and snow “how could he utilize this?” 

Byleistr scratched his head and looked at the hill, then the range behind them.

“Secure an army on the peaks” he said “rain down upon us”

“Are you suggesting archers?” Odin asked “we cannot have that many”

“We might need to”

Thor snorted and got their attention.

“Is something amusing you?” Byleistr asked

“Aye” Thor smirked “You”

Bylesitr’s eyes narrowed.

“Thor” Odin said in warning

Thor sighed and leaned over “Look, see this curve? This is perfect for us to hide our men. It can be archers, but only a handful. Farbauti won’t attack from above, he would be vulnerable as we would be there. He would attack from here” Thor moved his finger on the curve of the mountain on the map “then double back and attack again. He will make us think he is retreating before he brings his true attack. We station our men here” he poked the map where the largest hill stood “in the middle on the hill, we are protected and safe, while we maintain a good position on the enemy.”

“That’s all well” Byleistr sneered “but that is all assumption. What makes you think my dam will attack the way you said?”

“That’s easy” Thor said, standing “Loki told me”

Odin’s brows rose in mild surprise “Truly?”

“Aye” Thor grinned at him “You think he doesn’t listen to us talking at the dinner table?”

Odin smiled and Byleistr glared at them both.

“Now if you will excuse me,” Thor turned “I need a break”

Odin chuckled and shook his head while Byleistr kept glaring at the back of Thor’s head.

Thor strode out, thinking of the look on Byleistr’s face. He had been stunned; the bastard thought his brother was worth nothing and telling him that is was Loki’s plan was rather satisfying.

Though Thor had changed the facts a little. Loki hadn’t exactly said that plan, all he had commented on is that Thor and Farbauti’s attacking styles were rather similar and that Thor should think of what _he_ would do rather than what Farbauti would.

Thor had applied his thinking and pointed out what he would have done. 

It was rather clever of Loki; Odin seemed to like it.

Thor’s small grin vanished as he thought about his husband and what transpired this morning.  
In hindsight, Thor could have pulled back a few punches. Loki was a boy compared to him, ten years younger and barely out of youth. He was scared, frightened of what Thor was insisting upon and acted the way his limited years drove him to.

He had been sheltered where Thor had been free. Loki had his books while Thor had friends. No family other than a brother that was cruel to him and no one he could talk to.

Thor bit his lip.

He shouldn’t have said that to Loki, he should have acted better.

But what was done was done. Now Thor needed to fix it.

The problem was that Thor had pride; he had never really apologized to anyone other than his father and even that had been rare.

Now he was faced with his beautiful consort; a boy who was both charming and infuriating at the same time. Someone who was shy and reserved and naïve to the point where he needed constant protection.

Protection from those vultures that Thor had left him to; people that gossiped, that longed to treat him as though he was a lesser man than Thor.

Previously, Thor had told them off, glared at them and told them in no uncertain terms the penalty of hurting Loki.

Then he had simply stopped and Loki was getting the full blast of their disgusting prejudice.

Thor sighed.

As angry as he still was at the boy, there were better ways to teach Loki a lesson. Ignoring him for weeks on end wasn’t something honorable.

Thor sighed and ran a hand through his hair, going to his new chambers in search of his young husband.

***

Erik was slowly nibbling on the grass, pulling it out of its roots and eating it as he strolled all around in the gardens.

They were in the farthest part of the castle and people rarely came out here unless they wanted privacy.

It had tall trees surrounding it on all sides and a single arch that led in and out of the place. Shrubs of brightly colored flowers sat at the feet of the trees and bees and butterflies hovered around looking for nectar.

One butterfly, red as blood, flew off the flowers and, searching for a place to land, ended up sitting on a head of soft black hair.

Loki didn’t even feel it as he sat on the grass, running his fingers through it and watching the sun fall.

The sky was turning orange and the clouds looked like painted grey streaks as they reached for the setting sun. a gentle breeze wafted over, playing with Loki’s hair as he watched the skies and breathed evenly.

He was away from his tension and intended on enjoying it before he went back to those sexist bastards that roamed about the castle.

Loki wanted to hurt them, he really did, because they treated him with so much prejudice and hate. He wanted to return the favor, but he knew he was better than them because he didn’t categorize _all_ Aesir as complete idiots.  

They were the main reason his eyes were red rimmed.

These past days had been bad to him.

He wasn’t a woman, they knew that. But they still treated him like a maiden, holding his hand, kissing his hand, flirting with him.

Loki’s mouth tightened once more.

He hated them

He hated _everyone_. He hated his brother for pushing him into this and he hated _Thor_ for abandoning him.

Damn the Norns, he was beginning to like him and now…

Loki grit his teeth a little.

Now Thor hated him and it was all his fault.

Loki sighed.

He had thought this all through the day and now he was exhausted. He needed a mental physical break; he needed to sleep.

Forget dinner, forget Thor, he needed to find himself a nook and curl up there till he died. That was all he was good at after all.

Loki sniffed and stood, making the butterfly fly off his head as he dusted his clothes off and walked over to where Erik was munching.

He clicked his tongue to call him but the sound was taken in by loud laughter than roared from his side.

Loki’s head spun around and he saw a group of Aesir’s walk into his solitude, men and women barely on their feet as they laughed and cackled to the winds.

Loki immediately felt uneasy and went over to Erik to grab his reins, hoping to make a silent exit.

“Oh ho! Look who we have here”

“Damn” Loki muttered.

Deciding ignorance was the best act, Loki climbed on Erik and dug his heels in to make him move.

“Princess Loki!”

Loki closed his eyes in anger at the jeer of the young woman and made to leave.

“Your Highness”

Loki stopped when he saw the men and women standing at the entrance.

His anger against them returned “Move”

They chuckled and Loki felt dread rise in him. He knew he had little to no power here; this was just a reminder. He looked over at the castle, hoping that someone chose this exact moment to look for him.

But he had no such luck and had to pull Erik back when two of the men approached.

“We just wish to have a word with you” the first said “Loki”

Loki froze when he recognized that voice.

It was one of the men that had been threatening him when they thought Thor dead. He had been a bastard then and Loki was sure he was a bastard now.

The bastard smiled at Loki’s expression “You recognize me, don’t you?”

Erik backed up, snorting in irritation when the man grabbed his reins to stop him. The man jumped back in shock when a sharp pain ran through his arm, making him cry out and the others stare at him.

“I can do much worse” Loki bluffed “and unless you truly wish to test my wrath, let me leave”

The women were gaping, the men glaring.

They were torn between trying to hurt him and avoid his magic. Loki’s advantage was that they knew nothing of his powers and their advantage was the fact that they outnumbered him and very likely had the strength to overpower him.

Unwilling to test, both men stepped back, though they glared insolently at Loki, and let him pass.

Loki clicked to Erik, keeping his gaze ahead. He held his head high as he moved the horse through over the grass, going to the exit.

Suddenly, a tight slap sounded and Erik neighed loudly, offended, before bursting into a run.

Loki yelled, tried to catch a hold on the horse but the animal was startled and nothing was going to stop him.

“Erik!” Loki yelled “Sto-“

Erik leapt over a shrub and jumped through the trees in his panic and Loki went with him, flying high and breaking off his yell when a thick branch hit him in the face and sent him falling off the horse.

Loki fell to the mud and dirt with a sick crack, a whimper of pain escaping his lips as shooting pain ran up his arm and head.

Wicked laughter was heard from behind him a moment before footsteps came over and the girls screeched loudly, pointing at him and calling him names.

Loki yelled when one of the men grabbed his arm, sending agonizing pain up his system, and dragged him out.

“Oh dear” one of them chuckled “it seems like we hurt the little ergi”

Loki gasped against the pain in his arm and felt his blood trickle into his eyes, making them sting.

“What do we do?”

More laughter came from above and dirty names were hurled at him.

Loki rested his head on the grass and closed his eyes, willing this to be over so that he could go to his brother and beg him to take him back home.

“I say we…”

“What the hell are you doing!?”

Loki’s numb brain recognized that voice and he opened his eyes to see a large, familiar figure looking at the scene.

The effect of the new comer was instant; the Aesir bastards froze and dropped Loki before bubbling apologies.

“Sir Bragi!” one called “We … you …”

Bragi ignored them and went to crouch beside Loki, mouth parting at what had been done to him. He stood, slowly, menacingly, and stared at the men and women.

“I know who each and every one of you is” he rasped “don’t think you will get away with this”

“Sir!” a woman said, almost thrusting her breasts at him “we just passing by and …”

“Shut your mouth!” Bragi growled “before every one in Asgard finds out where it has been”

She shut up.

“Get out of here” he rasped “I will have Thor deal with you”

“No, please, you don’t …” 

They all began yelling and protesting at once.

“Silence!” Bragi yelled, golden eyes blazing “Your time is not now, but rest assured we will meet again and you will give penance enough to soothe even the husband of the man you so callously harmed”

“Sir…”

“Leave!”

Loki heard a flurry of footsteps and then he heard Bragi kneel next to him again.

“Damn it” Bragi said, looking at Loki’s eyes “don’t worry, young prince, they will not get away with this”

Loki whimpered when he neared and Bragi stopped.

“I won’t hurt you, Loki” Bragi said “but I have to take you back”

He gasped when Bragi gently touched his arm and curled it closer to his chest, moaning in agony when it hurt all over.

“Hush” Bragi said “I’m going to carry you now, your highness, alright? I won’t hurt you”

Loki bit his lip to keep from screaming when Bragi shifted him a little; broken ribs.

Bragi hissed in anger and gently, so gently that is was surprising that a man of his stature and muscle could manage it, slipped his arms under Loki’s knees and behind his back then stood carefully.

Loki turned his head into Bragi’s muscled shoulder when the man straightened and laid his broken arm on his stomach.

“Now calm down” Bragi said softly “we shall be back in no time”

He began to walk, talking to Loki the whole time he carried him back and telling him what he intended to do to those that had attacked Loki.

***

Thor was wallowing in guilt as he sat upon Loki’s side of the bed, head in his hands.

He had searched the whole day for his husband and discovered that Loki wasn’t something one found if Loki himself didn’t wish it.

He had gone from one end of the castle to the other until he came upon the stables and found Erik missing. Upon questioning, he found that Loki ran gone somewhere shortly after breakfast and had yet to return.

Thor’s guilt threatened to drown him with each passing moment and he soon became frantic, feeling a headache coming on as horrible scenarios played in his mind.

He was halfway to Heimdall when he realized the man would probably give him a lecture and he didn’t need that; Loki would be fine.

No one would be stupid enough to harm him … right?

Someone yelled outside and some maid screamed.

Thor lost all color in his face as he all but flew down the stairs and out of his new chambers. He banged open the doors and froze in horror when he saw Bragi carrying a bleeding Loki in.

“What happened!?” Thor yelled, running over

“Take him from me!”Bragi rasped as he stumbled

Thor gasped and ran over, grabbing Loki from Bragi’s arms as the man’s knees finally gave way.

“Some of your subjects attacked him” Bragi panted as Thor carried Loki to a soft couch “I chased them off but it was a little late”

But his half brother wasn’t listening.

“No, no, no, no,” Thor mumbled as he lay Loki down and looked at him.

He was pale as death and unmoving. Thor’s face was agonized as he raised a hand to touch him but lowered it a moment later.

“Water” Thor looked at the maid “Leah, get me water”

She nodded and ran, almost bumping into Balder when he came in, looking worried. He saw Bragi and he lost some color in his face, he saw Loki and went paper white.

“What happened?” he ran over, gaping when he saw the state Loki was in.

“A group of men and women hurt him” Bragi stood, stumbling a little as he stood “I will tell you who they are later”

Balder nodded to him and turned to Thor; a clear dismissal.

Bragi sighed and looked at the men before he turned and left, letting Leah walk in before he walked out of the door.

“Your Highness” she handed Thor the bowl of water, then a cool cloth when he asked for it.

“This is all my fault” Thor whispered as he cleaned Loki’s blood off “I did this, I …”

“Thor” Balder rested a hand on his brother’s shoulder “breathe. Heal him first, then you can wallow in guilt”   

Thor shook his head and when the dirt and blood was gone, he asked Balder for healing stones.

Balder nodded and ran to where Thor told him he kept them, before returning and grumbling about the size of the suite. 

Thor ignored him and kept healing Loki. When he touched his ribs, Loki whimpered and Thor broke a healing stone over his wounds, fixing it.

It shouldn’t have taken long, but Thor kept mumbling apologies and Balder kept brushing Loki’s hair back, so when Loki finally opened his eyes, it was an hour later and Thor was sitting on the ground with his head in his hands.

“I did this” Thor told Balder as he ran a comforting hand over his back “I shouldn’t have fought with him, he didn’t deserve it, I …”

“Enough” Balder said softly “no one could have thought this would happen.”

“I should have” Thor said “I keep doing him wrong again and again, its making me sick!”

Loki opened his eyes a fraction more.

“He doesn’t deserve this, Balder, he is…”

“I said that’s enough” Balder said sternly “from what you’ve told me he isn’t completely without blame, either. So stop treating yourself so badly and put it behind you. You have more important things to worry about other than an argument with your consort. Grow up”

Thor sat up, looking at the ground.

“Someone dared to beat him” Balder said “so instead of crying, make them pay, exact punishment and take care of your husband. Stop doing useless things like sobbing into your arms and wishing for things that you have no control over. Loki was hurt tonight. Thor, you need to be strong for him. Let him put this behind him, then cry all you want”

Thor gazed at the floor silently.

“Yes, both of you have made mistakes” Balder went on “both of you have acted so _stupidly_ it astounds me. But this is enough. Stop acting like children, put your mistakes behind you and work on your marriage. Forget whatever past you have and focus on your future”

Thor didn’t reply

“Understand?”

“Yes, Sir” Thor said

“And you, Loki?”

Loki blinked at having been caught staring and Thor spun around with a gasp.

“Loki!” Thor moved forward but Balder grabbed his arm, halting him.

“Well?” Balder asked.

Loki bit his lip and nodded.

“Good” Balder released his brother and stood “It’s not that late, but I suggest both of you excuse yourself politely from dinner and stay the rest of the night in”

Which meant only one thing; _fix your own damned problems_.

Thor didn’t notice his brother leave, he was kneeling on the ground next to Loki, looking at him with large, apologetic eyes and was torn between the desire to touch his husband and leave him be if he so desired.

Loki just watched him with uncertain eyes, hands firmly crossed over his chest. He breathed evenly but felt extremely uneasy as Thor just stared at him.

“Loki, I …” Thor began

“I want to go home” Loki cut in softly

Thor blinked and rested a hand beside Loki’s hip on the couch “What? Loki, you are home. I swear, I will…”

“No” Loki whispered and looked away.

Thor felt his insides go cold “No, Loki…”

Loki turned his back to Thor, to keep him from seeing his tears.

“I hate Asgard” Loki said “I hate everything here. I want to go home”

Thor looked shattered, his mouth parted as he tried forming words.

“Loki, please…” he swallowed “I’m sorry”

“Go away” Loki said, curling up further into the couch.

Thor watched, guilt all over his face. Gently he raised a hand and placed it on Loki’s shoulder.

When Loki didn’t shrug him off, he pulled, trying to make Loki face him.

“Leave me alone, Thor!” Loki jerked, trying to shake him off but Thor insisted and Loki ended up glaring at him through his tears as Thor looked at him.

“I’m sorry” Thor told him, blue eyes shining. 

Loki scowled at him, tears trembling in his eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Loki” Thor said, going to grab Loki’s hand and giving it a squeeze. When the boy didn’t pull back, he grasped his wrist gently and pulled him closer.

Loki’s lower lip quivered “I hate you”

Thor sighed “I know”

He pulled Loki close, putting his arms around him and embraced him “I know”

Loki hit him lightly with a tightly clenched fist, smacking it uselessly against his shoulder as he buried his face in the other, nuzzling close to him. His breaths were even at first, but then they stuttered and his other hand clenched in Thor’s clothes as he began to weep.

Thor didn’t say anything. He sat back on the floor, pulling Loki into his lap and let him cry into his shoulder and hit him as much as he wanted. Loki was a contrast to himself as he took comfort from Thor and hurt him for it.

But in the end, both his arms snaked around Thor’s neck and he held him close, sniffling softly as light sobs wracked his body.

***

“I don’t hate you” Loki said “You are an idiot, but I don’t hate you”

Thor smiled and rubbed Loki’s arm.

They were both lying against the couch, Loki resting his head on Thor’s shoulder as he all but lay in his lap and Thor had both arms around him as though he feared Loki running again.

“I know that”

Loki sighed but didn’t move. He was rather content – at the moment.

They were literally doing nothing. And Loki hadn’t felt this relaxed in weeks. Some time ago, both of them had kicked off their boots and now Loki placed his slender foot next to Thor’s to compare.

“You have bear’s feet” he announced, placing his pale foot beside Thor’s broad one

Thor chuckled “Your foot looks like a banana”

Thor huffed when Loki poked his side, his half lidded eyes looking at their almost entwined legs as he noted the difference between them.

“When have you laughed the most in your life?” Loki asked, placing his foot between Thor’s and moving it a little.

Thor thought about it “When Balder accidentally fell over the balcony railing”

Loki gaped “What? How is that humorous?”

Thor chuckled “Because the reason he was saved was because his breeches caught on a protruding stone”

Loki snorted in laughter “You made that up”

“I did not” Thor adjusted his hold and began to rub Loki’s shoulder slowly “You can ask him and he will tell you”

“Don’t think I won’t”

Thor hummed and kissed the top of his head “I didn’t think that”

Loki smiled and looked up, smiling when Thor gazed down upon him.

There was nothing angry or dark in his eyes now and that made Loki _so_ much easier.

“I’m sorry, Thor” he said, raising a hand, but lowered it a moment later “for everything I did to you”

Thor smiled “You don’t need to apologize, Loki”

“I do” Loki said looking back down again “I can’t demand an apology and not expect to give one to you. I did worse to you and…”

“Loki” Thor reached out and tipped his head up “I said there is no need. Let’s just put this all behind us”

Loki nodded, then his gaze went to Thor’s mouth and back to his bright blue eyes.

He blushed brightly when Thor froze and raised a brow.

Thor knew what he wanted, but he didn’t want to rush him. So he waited.

After a long moment of debating, Loki bit his lip and sat up, letting Thor’s arms fall off him as he ran a hand through his hair and twisted his torso to look back at Thor, eyes uncertain.

Thor didn’t speak. He waited patiently as Loki shifted nervously until he faced Thor, sitting on his knees beside him and swallowed audibly.

“I …”

“Take your time” Thor told him “there is no rush”

Loki nodded and moved closer, looking into Thor’s eyes as he raised a hand and awkwardly placed it on

Thor’s shoulder. Thor had his hands in his lap; unmoving, as he watched Loki, smiling softly in encouragement.

Loki leaned forward, blushed and leaned back, brushing his hair behind his ear.

“It’s so hard”

Thor smiled, thought of a really bad joke. 

_That’s what she said …_

Then looked at his husband “Would you like me to help?”

Blood rushed to Loki’s face and turned it a bright red. Thor laughed when he saw it reach his ears.

“You can tell me when you want it to stop” Thor told him.

“O-okay” Loki stuttered, gulping as Thor sat up.

Thor was probably very experienced with this and Loki knew _nothing_. So it was very intimidating when Thor gently pulled Loki closer, settling him in his lap and placing his hands loosely at Loki’s hips.

“Is this okay?”

Loki nodded, and brushed nonexistent hair behind his ear.

“Alright, tell me when you are ready” Thor said

Loki nodded but didn’t say anything.

They sat like that for a while, Loki perched on Thor’s lap, looking at him with large innocent eyes and Thor sat cross-legged under him, looking at him with so much adoration that he seemed to glow.

And Thor didn’t even know it.

Loki bit his lower lip, leaned forward, then immediately pulled back and hid his face in his hands with a growl.

“Why can’t I do this stupid thing!?” he snarled.

Thor laughed “It’s not stupid, and if you can’t it’s alright, you don’t…”

Thor broke off when Loki suddenly moved his hands and leaned forward, smashing their mouths together in a hurried, short kiss.

He blinked when Loki leaned back, almost as red as Thor’s cape, pulling his lips inwards as he stared at him with large green eyes. 

“I’m sorry, that was…”

The rest of Loki’s sentence was taken by Thor’s mouth as the larger man placed a hand behind his head and pulled him close.

Loki’s surprised yelp was muffled and he placed his hands on Thor’s shoulders to push but ended up just resting them there.

He sighed and closed his eyes as Thor rubbed their mouths together and his fingers twitched. 

He gasped when Thor pulled back and placed a hand over his mouth, a heated flush on his cheeks.

Thor smiled up at him “Well?”

Loki sat blinking at him for a long time before he felt the heat in his ears.

He stared at him “I …liked it”

Thor laughed when Loki went red and placed his forehead on Thor’s shoulder. Thor placed a hand behind his head.

“Do want to have dinner brought over?” Thor asked and Loki shook his head “Why?”

“I want … to do it again” he said shyly.

Thor could have yelled in joy but forced himself to remain calm.

“Alright, the same?”

Loki shook his head.

Thor grinned “Okay, just tell me when you are ready”

Loki nodded, remained hidden for a moment longer before he emerged and looked at Thor once more.

This time, Thor placed his arms behind Loki’s back and pulled them chest to chest, delighting in the soft gasp Loki gave before he kissed him again.

Loki closed his eyes as Thor kissed him, his mouth warm and tempting. He tilted his head aside to see if something would change, then gasped when Thor opened his mouth and slid his tongue over Loki’s lips.

He slid the tip of his tongue over the seam of Loki’s lips, gently parting him open from one side to the other before he delved it in, tracing the roof of his mouth.

Loki’s eyes rolled back in his head and he slackened his jaw, fisting his hands in Thor’s tunic as his mouth was explored. He moaned softly and pressed himself closer to his husband, tilting his head aside to give Thor more access.

He slid his hands down Thor’s shoulders, going behind his back to tug a little on his hair. When Thor growled in encouragement, he did it again and gasped when he felt Thor’s teeth pull at his lower lip before soothing it with his tongue.

Loki gasped when Thor pulled back and stared into his eyes, breathing a ragged.

Thor beamed at him “Did you like that?”

Loki went crimson and Thor chuckled.

“Do you want to continue?” Thor asked.

Loki bit his lip and nodded once.

Thor growled and pulled him closer.

***

“Thor…”

Thor shuddered at the caress Loki turned his name into and opened his mouth wider, leaving a bigger mark on Loki’s long neck. His hand worked between Loki’s legs as he stroked him through his clothes, feeling him get harder and harder.

Loki lay on his back, legs spread a little as Thor pressed him down into thick rug. His head was tipped aside and his hands clawed at Thor’s back. His chest heaved up and down as he panted for breath, gasping at the pleasure and biting his lip to keep his noises at bay.

This was shameful.

It was _exciting_ and Loki wanted _more_.

He lifted his hips, begging Thor to press down harder, because he knew he was the only one that could release the tension building inside him.

“Please…” Loki breathed, pulling Thor closer, then turning his head to kiss Thor’s swollen mouth.

Thor growled, keeping his own need at bay as he pressed down on Loki’s.

Loki shuddered, dragged his heels on the ground and moaned when Thor unlaced his trousers and slipped his hand inside, touching the hot flesh underneath.

“Nh …no…” Loki panted, breaking off the kiss “don’t ….”

“Hush” Thor kissed his mouth and fisted his arousal, squeezing it.

Loki opened his mouth and a choked noise escaped him as he arched his back off the ground, nails raking Thor’s back.

“Yes…”

Thor growled and kissed Loki’s opened mouth, stroking him and pumping him with his hand and watching him become breathless.

Loki whimpered, turned his head to the side and grit his teeth together, gasping when Thor latched on to a spot below his ear and sucking yet another mark.

He panted loudly, arching and bucking and whimpering because this was becoming too much!

He had never experienced something so good.

“Thor …” he panted “I … something’s happening…”

Loki felt his release collect at the base of his spine and whined, the sound tapering off into a high pitched gasp as he thrashed, trying to find his climax but unable to.

“Thor…” he whined “I can’t … it’s not…”

“Hush” Thor kissed his cheek and looked at him, blonde hair falling over and Loki realized he looked beautiful.

“You will” Thor said, slowly beginning to knead him “in my hand”

Loki raised tormented eyes to his, panting loudly as he watched him. He was shaking all over and he knew he was about to come, but he just – _wasn’t_.

Loki closed his eyes and hissed, arching his neck back as Thor massaged his need, twirling it between his thumb and fingers, playing him like a harp.

And Loki writhed, gasping for breath as he lay under him, hand going to grab Thor’s wrist, trying to stop him and get him to move at the same time. He threw his head back and gave a shriek when Thor pulled him a little, playing with him. 

“Please…” Loki begged “Thor, please…”

Thor smiled down at him and began to pump him, glorying in the gasps and moans Loki gave beneath him, guiding him through his very first orgasm.

Then Loki went taut, he arched his neck and his back bowed off the floor as he came with a collection of shudders that shook Thor and made him kiss Loki’s open mouth.

He swallowed his scream and lingered in the heat on his hand; evidence of Loki’s release.

Loki broke off the kiss and lay panting, gasping at how amazing it had been, his body shivering in the aftermath.

Thor kissed his forehead, his damp hair, his flushed cheeks, he felt his eyes flutter shut when he kissed them, the tip of his nose and finally his mouth.

Again.

Loki didn’t speak, he was so relaxed and satisfied; he didn’t know it was possible.

Thor kissed his neck, kissed the large marks he had made and kissed his temple.

“Do you want dinner now?”

Loki smiled and gave a soft laugh before turning his head to look up at Thor.

“Can we eat here?” 

Thor chuckled “We can eat it where ever you want”

Loki gave a contented hum and raised a finger to run over Thor’s jaw, tracing the hard edge, his chin and mouth.

Thor chuckled when Loki tapped his nose “What are you doing?”

“Making a memory” Loki told him, looking into his eyes “years from now, I still wish to remember how you were looking at me”

Something stirred in Thor and he lowered his head to kiss Loki once more, staying and tracing his mouth with his tongue until they needed to breathe.

“Let me clean up” Thor kissed his chin “then we shall have dinner”

“On the balcony?” Loki asked, eyes shining

“Why not?”

Reluctantly, Thor pulled away from him and Loki flushed when he saw his spend on Thor’ hand.

Thor followed his gaze “Not a bad load”

“Thor!” Loki covered his face with his hands and curled to the side “You’re embarrassing me”

He yelped when Thor turned him back and kissed him.

“Never” Thor said “it wasn’t my intention”

Loki sniggered “Good. Now leave. I’m hungry”

Thor rolled his eyes, gave him a peck on the forehead and pulled away to run up the stairs and into the bath.

Loki lay spread out where he was, admiring the ceiling and letting his satisfaction wash him.

***

His name was Dallan and he knew that Thor was going to kill him.

He rushed around the small room he rented for himself, opening drawers and pulling things out in haste.

The rest of his friends, the very same that had insulted and harmed Loki with him, had been taken to the castle but he had managed to avoid the guards at the moment.

He didn’t know what was going to happen to him, but he knew he couldn’t be here.

He growled and shoved a few more things into his bag and turned to leave the room, grabbing a pouch of his money on the way out.

He stopped when a large figure loomed in the hall, leaning against a wall, waiting for him.

It was only a silhouette but Dallan knew who it was. His bags dropped from his grip as he took in the light hair, the broad, muscled shoulders and tapered waist and the molten gold gaze that bored into his.

“Leaving for something?”

Dallan growled “All this for a Jotun?”

Bragi smirked and pushed off the wall “All this for a prince. Now will you come peacefully or does this have to get unpleasant? Pray come with me wisely I truly do not wish to beat you into submission; I rather like this tunic bloodless”

Dallan looked at said white tunic, then up at Bragi’s face.

This was a lost battle and he knew it. Growling, he lifted his bag slowly. He gave a defeated sigh.

Bragi was expected the attack and ducked the heavy bag. When he looked up, Dallan was running down the wall.

He sighed “Why do they always run?”

He went at a more leisurely pace, knowing that there wasn’t a place for him to run to from him.

Not really.

*** 

Odin smiled when he saw the married couple sitting opposite him.

Whatever tension had plagued them for the past weeks seemed to have vanished, the problem solved without intervention. And that made Odin proud. 

He watched as Thor leaned over, deliberately bumping his shoulder with Loki and he saw the younger smile. He didn’t lift his gaze from his dinner, but he smiled and Thor took that as a challenge.

He bumped him again and Loki began to blush.

Opposite them, Balder shook his head and kicked out, then spluttered when Loki yelped and jerked in his seat, giving him a stunned glance.

Odin chuckled and looked at Frigga when Thor glared at his brother and demanded he apologize to Loki.

Loki was trying to diffuse the situation and went a bright red when Thor wanted to ‘kiss it away’.

Odin had to lower his gaze when Thor whispered something in Loki’s ear and Loki blushed to furiously Odin could easily see him blending into Thor’s cape.

“Boys” Frigga warned when Loki pushed Thor away with a hand and Thor began to touch his knee seductively.

A chair scraped and they both straightened.

“Sorry, Mother”

“Forgive me” Loki muttered, giving his husband a dirty look that made Balder laugh.

“So” Odin said after the awkwardness passed “what have you been up to?”

“Well” Thor swallowed a bite “I showed Loki the observatory. Showed him the realms on the left side”

“Alfhiem” Loki said, eyes widening “she is so much beautiful when I gaze upon her than she is in books.

She glows even from this distance”

Frigga smiled “Do you wish to go there?”

Loki’s eyes went so wide Thor chuckled.

“Truly?”

“Yes” Frigga said “I’m sure they would love to have you. The next time Thor goes to Midgard, you and I can go to Alfhiem”

Loki gaped at her like a fish and Thor chuckled.

“Congratulations, Mother, you are the second person to knock Loki speechless”

“Who was the first?” Balder asked, forking up some vegetables.

Thor gave him a suggestive grin and winked at him.

Odin laughed when both Loki and Balder went as red as tomatoes and yelled at Thor simultaneously. 

After dinner, the sat in various spots in the common area, doing whatever they pleased. Frigga and Loki sat in the corner under the lamp as she showed him drawings of places in Alfhiem. Balder lay sprawled on a chair, having some after dinner port and Thor walked in from where he had been on the balcony before he walked over to sit at Odin’s feet, resting back against his father’s shins as Odin was seated on his thick armchair. His blue eyes watched his husband and his graceful movements carefully.

Odin rested a hand on Thor’s head and Thor hummed before tipping his head back on his father’s knees and looking at him upside down.

“Greetings, old man” Thor said “are you still alive?”

Odin lightly slapped Thor’s cheek “Unfortunately for you, yes”

Thor made a face “Why don’t we go on a fishing trip together?”

“Why? So you could push me into the water and take my crown?”

“It’s my crown” Thor said “And damn you for guessing my plan”

“Don’t curse in front of me” Odin hit Thor’s cheek again 

“Why?” Thor asked “You taught me everything I know”

“Not everything” Odin said, smiling down at him “Some things I didn’t wish you to know”

“Really?” Thor asked “such as?”

“You don’t want to know, brother” Balder said from his perch “that man is insane”

“All of us are insane” Frigga said “Not just Odin, he’s just the worst”

“I notice you included yourself in our insane lot, dear” Odin said 

“Of course I did” Frigga said, turning a page “would a sane woman marry you?”

Balder chuckled “Be glad, Loki, you are not one of us. Run while you can”

Loki smiled and lowered his head to the book, unknowing of what to say.

He wasn’t used to this. Family was something denied to him so he didn’t know how to react to such loving teasing. Their words could be something taken as offensive but their reactions made it seem that they said ‘I love you’ instead of insults.

It really confused him so he remained silent when they talked, feeling like an outsider.

“Loki?”

He looked up and realized he had missed a question.

“Yes?” he looked at Odin

“You have been rather silent; more than you usually are” the king said “is everything alright?”

“Yes” Loki lied “I’m fine”

He wasn’t fine; he was feeling his loss, all that he had missed. He never had anyone to tease him and had never teased anyone. He didn’t even know any good insults because the only person he had was his brother and Byleistr would soon rip him in two than respond to an insult.

He took a deep breath and straightened from his seat.

“Um… excuse me”

Thor looked up from Odin’s lap when Loki said that and everyone called to him as he left. But he didn’t stop. He pulled open the door and walked out, giving in to the impulse and running once he got outside.

Thor gave Odin a confused look before he stood and followed his running husband.

It was a little comical how the guards simply pointed to the direction Loki had run two when they saw Thor. He gave them a nod and followed, wondering what the hell had just gotten into Loki.

***

Loki leaned back against the wall behind him, pulling his arms around him as he breathed deeply. He tried calming himself, tried forgetting, but every single time, the image of that happy family came into his mind and tormented him.

Every single time, he was reminded of what he had once and what he had lost.

He had never been part of a happy family even though Laufey gave him everything. Laufey had been everything to him, his strength, his Father, his family, his happiness and his confidence.

When he had died, he had taken Loki with him. 

He might be here in body, but his soul … Loki didn’t think he had one.

However, now he was sitting with a happy family and all he could think of was how he wasn’t a part of it, not truly. He was different, he didn’t get their jokes, he didn’t have the ease he had with them and he never would.

No one would ever call him son and he would never say the word ‘Father’ again.

And that thought, more than anything else, broke him.

Loki gave a loud sob, covered his face and slid to the ground, pulling his knees to his chest and crying, his weeping heard through his hands, tears slipping down his wrists.

That was how Thor found him

And the god of thunder came to a skidding halt.

He looked behind him to see if anyone was around and walked over to sit beside his weeping husband.

He didn’t say anything, he didn’t even touch him, but a few moments later, Loki leaned to his side and hid his face in Thor’s shoulder. His arms went about Thor’s waist and he held him close in his grief.

Thor said nothing, just put his arms around him and began to hum. He stopped every now and then to kiss Loki’s hair and rub his back, but otherwise kept on going.

Loki kept making soft, heart breaking noises and Thor could feel his tears dampen his clothes. He didn’t pull away.

***

His crimson eyes narrowed to slits when he saw his brother weeping on Thor’s shoulder.

The man was so stupid he looked right about to cry himself and Byleistr wondered how long his brother had had him looped around his finger.

He shifted back into the shadows when Thor rumbled something to Loki and the latter shook his head a little. Thor slipped his arms under his knees and back before he lifted him up and carried him to their chambers.

Byleistr grinned and followed them both, waiting.

As expected, Thor walked back out some time later and walked down the hall.

Once he was sure he was gone, Byleistr grinned and went to Loki’s new chambers.

His brother owed him favors, after all.


	11. Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People make decisions ... not always the right ones

The noises of the night, the crickets and their chirping, the owls wise hooting, the shrill calls of those that scared their prey at night filled the room as Loki lay in bed, curled up in his depression.

Dinner had been going so well and he just _had_ to ruin it with his petty problems.

He could have stayed, put up a brave face, anything other than running out, crying like a child. Now, he felt so stupid that he wanted to hit himself repeatedly on the head with something hard.

Thor had stayed with him and Loki remembered how he held him in his arms, kissing him as tears flowed down Loki’s cheeks, telling him not to cry, telling him that he was right here and kissing his cheeks, his lips, his eyes, taking his pain away with his soft mouth and holding him next to his heart.

Loki had stopped only when there was nothing left in him and Thor had held him through that as well. It was only when Loki closed his reddened eyes in exhaustion and told Thor to give him a few moments of peace that the charming prince had left, promising to bring him something sweet from the kitchens.

And though Loki hadn’t told him anything, Thor had made him feel better.

Until Loki realized how stupid it was in reality.

He heard the door open and close and exhaled, thinking about at least brushing his hair back a little. He sat up and walked to the dressing table, lifting a silver comb and raising it to his head.

He might not be much to look at, but Thor didn’t seem to mind and it was something he could do to distract himself.

But when he looked in the mirror before him, Loki gasped and spun around, his guts turning cold when he saw his brother standing behind him.

“Byleistr!” Loki placed a hand over his heart “You scared me”

“Odd” Byleistr said, leaning back against a pillar, looking down at Loki “I can’t seem to recall that reaction from you”

Loki sighed and turned back, “You have never startled me like this. You always announce yourself”

Byleistr hummed and watched his brother comb out his hair “Maybe I have reason to”

Loki’s hand froze and his fingers tingled with defensive magic. A chill went up his spine as he placed the comb down and looked at his brother’s reflection in the mirror.

“What do you want?” Loki asked softly

Byleistr looked at him evenly “I want the casket, Loki”

Loki sighed and placed his hands on the dresser before him with a sigh “Brother, we have been through this…”

“No” Byleistr said calmly “We haven’t. You ranted about uselessly and never listened to what I had to say”

Loki turned to face him “I am not having a child”

“Yes, you are” Byleistr said, chillingly calm “I will make sure of it”

Loki froze, looking at the railing and thinking about making an escape. But Byleistr saw his eyes dart to the side and moved.

“Leave me alone!” Loki yelled, dodging him and leaping down the stairs, paling when he heard an angry growl behind him and his brother’s heavy steps.

Panting, Loki sprinted past the living area and into the lobby, pulling open the doors and galloping faster…

And crashing right into Thor.

Thor gave a yelp as Loki hit him full force and sent both of them toppling to the ground, sending the platter in Thor’s hands flying and clattering to the side. He huffed then he hit the hard floor, then grunted when Loki landed on top of him.

Loki levered his torso off, looking down at Thor with large eyes before he looked behind him.

The room was empty; his brother was gone. How and where, Loki didn’t know; but they were alone.

“Loki!” Thor said, looking at him “What’s wrong?”

Loki looked back and opened his mouth “I …thought there was someone in our chambers”

Thor’s face went alarmed and Loki yelped when Thor pushed him off and stood, eyes fixed on the door, blood singing in his veins.

“No, I was wrong!” Loki stood, grabbing his arm “It was nothing – see? It’s empty”

Thor looked down at Loki, then back at the doors to his chambers.

“Wait here”

“Thor, no…” Loki was cut off as Thor gently placed him aside.

He bit a nail, hoping Byleistr was truly gone and wouldn’t end up in a fight against his husband.

Loki wondered who he would cheer for. 

He heard Thor move about inside he heard him opening and closing doors but he heard no shouting or threats.

So when Thor came back and shrugged, Loki let out a sigh of relief.

Thor smiled at him “It was probably the wind”

“Aye” Loki said, standing where he was.

Thor sighed and came over, watching Loki as he watched him, and raised a hand to gently brush back a lock from his forehead.

Loki flushed and looked away and Thor chuckled before kissing his cheek and taking his hand.

“Come on, you destroyed the lovely dessert I got you” Thor pulled him down the hall “So you have to accompany me to get more”

“Okay” Loki said, looping his arm through Thor’s and letting him lead him to the kitchens.

No one other than the guards were around, and they were rather rare, so Thor felt a little mischievous.

As they walked, he nudged Loki with his shoulder, making him stumble a little. Loki smiled, but he didn’t react and that encouraged Thor. 

He did it again and laughed when Loki nudged him back.

Thor grinned, putting a little more force in his bump, then yelped when Loki straight out shoved him aside and ran down the hallway, laughing over his shoulder.

“Come here!”

Loki gave a loud laugh and ran faster, speeding down past a few guards, skidding a corner and sprinting ahead. He heard Thor behind him and hastened his pace before he twirled his fingers with magic and sent a few harmless bursts of bright colors laughing when Thor yelped and slowed.

Only when he saw that the bright colors hit his chest and vanished, did Thor resume the chase. He saw Loki turn a corner and stopped, looked to a hallway beside him and took a short cut, intending to cut him over.

His booted feet thumped and he heard Loki’s graceful steps before he saw the figure before him.

“Got you!” Thor hollered and tackled him, sending them both falling to the ground before he pinned the other down and laughed in his face.

“Hah! Now give me a kiss, you…” Thor broke off, horrified and humiliated when he saw it wasn’t Loki he had tackled.

Bragi looked up at him, golden eyes wide and blinking.

Beside them, they heard a snort of laughter and saw Loki doubled over, pointing at them both as he fell to the ground, laughing so hard tears fell from his eyes.

Thor turned a bright red, then looked at the man under him when Bragi cleared his throat.

“I will, but it is going you cost you”

Loki gave a loud bark of laughter and began to wheeze as wave upon wave of humor drowned him. He leaned back against the wall and howled when Thor leapt off Bragi, flushing so hard it was probably a new shade of red.

“I … uh …” Thor spluttered, brushing down his clothes.

Bragi stood, a smirk of his face and fixed his hair “Never mind, I knew it was only a matter of time before you tried something like this. I saw the way you looked at me”

Loki yelped in laughter, panting for breathe, red in the face.

“Thank the Norns Loki was here to protect me” Bragi said, gesturing to the laughing, gasping mess a few feet from them.

Thor grumbled something and Bragi bit his lip before he squeezed Thor’s shoulder.

“I will never forget this”

Thor bowed his head, embarrassed beyond reason as Bragi chuckled and left, shaking his head and sniggering the whole time.

He turned to his husband “That wasn’t funny”

Loki gave him a pitying look and drowned in his mirth again.

And Thor didn’t think there was a better sound for him to hear.

***

“Well, look who descended from high heavens to see his lowly friends”

Thor laughed as he walked into the dining hall and heard Fandral’s jeer.

“I only do so because my husband has demanded reprieve from my company” Thor told him “Otherwise, I find you all repulsive”

Sif smiled at him and opened her mouth to insult him, stopping when she saw Loki following Thor in.

“Oh ho!” Volstagg cheered and walked over to Loki, not halting when he saw the boy cringe, and slapped him on the back “Our newest comrade! Do join us, your highness”

Fandral grunted when Volstagg kicked his chair away and made Loki sit in his own while he sat on another beside him.

“Prince Loki” Fandral smiled at him “How do you do?”

“Very well” Loki said softy

“Tell me” Volstagg said, looking at Loki “What do you wish to drink?”

Loki thought about it “Do you have fruit juice?”

“Of course!” Fandral stood to get him some “Which do you want?”

“Forget that!”

They turned to see Idunn walking in, a large flagon in her hands. Her dress moved about as she skipped over without spilling a drop.

Sif narrowed her eyes but said nothing as the blonde walked over, nodding to everyone, and placed the flagon before Loki.

“Drink it” she ordered.

Loki lifted himself from his seat to peek into the offering and the smell of apples hit him. He looked at her and she winked.

“All for you” she said, then walked over to Fandral’s seat and pulled it next to Loki “I made it for you”

Loki flushed “Thank you”

“How come you never made this for me?” Fandral said

Idunn smiled at him “Because Loki has not flirted with me yet”

Loki blinked

“Yet?” Thor asked, perching himself on a table he dragged over

“Aye” Idunn said, turning back to Loki “You will do it soon, will you not?”

Loki thought about it “Will it cease the apple juice if I do?”

Idunn seemed to think about it “Nay, I like you. You will have the juice”

“Oh maiden, so pretty” Loki spoke “The sun will set in shame tonight when losing the comparison to your alluring glow”

Idunn blinked at him then, to everyone’s shock, turned a bright red.

Thor laughed when she looked at him

“He’s good” she said.

Loki nodded in respect and lifted the flagon to drink from it.

Thor chuckled and watched his friends and his husband get along. His mirth increased when he saw Idunn leaning closer to Loki and batting her eyelashes at him.

Loki nodded and obliged, spinning her lovely words that left her blushing.

The others watched the sight for a while before Hogun commented on a new battle tactic Fandral had been taught.

It didn’t take much after that to have the warriors talking animatedly amongst themselves. They got up when Fandral started to teach Thor the method and everyone laughed when the man ended up flat on his back because Thor was a better warrior.

Loki chuckled when Fandral announced he needed to win back his honor and tables were moved aside to make a makeshift ring for both friends to battle in.

Loki sat perched next to Idunn and watched carefully, taking in Thor’s movements, the way he kept his feet apart, the bend of his back, the glint in his eyes.

He fisted his own hands, mimicking Thor’s. His shoulders moving every now and then as he tried to copy the greatest warrior in the nine realms.

He watched Fandral take a swing at Thor and his eyes widened when Thor spun aside _gracefully_ and grabbed him arm, using the momentum to pin Fandral’s arm behind his back.

“Give in” Thor told his friend, grabbing the elbow Fandral raised to smash on his face.

“Never” Fandral laughed, throwing his head back and slamming it into Thor’s nose.

Loki gasped when a horrible crunch sounded and made to run, but Volstagg raised a hand to him from the other side, halting him and smiling.

Blinking, Loki sat back and watched as Thor simply wiped the blood off and gestured Fandral closer. Fandral bowed before he lunged.

Loki’s jaw fell open when he saw Thor leap into the air, confident as a dancer, and slammed a foot in Fandral’s shoulder, sending him flying to the side, crashing through a few tables before he skid to a halt.

Thor laughed “Do you yield?”

Fandral groaned in response and Thor bowed.

A mild applause followed, so when Loki clapped with extreme fervor, it was highly noticeable.

Not that he minded, of course, because at that moment, Thor looked at him, grinned and winked. And it sent delicious shivers through his system as he recalled what they had done on the floor of their new chambers.

Loki smiled back, giving him a shy wave and blushing brighter.

“Greetings, one brother and all his friends!”

Loki looked up to see Balder coming in, arms raised by his sides as he smiled at everyone.

Loki hadn’t seen him since last night and though Balder had done nothing, he still felt a little _aversion_ to him.

He didn’t want to be near him because he kept thinking of him as someone who did break their promises and someone who would have dragged him out by his hair and given him to those barbarians if he didn’t obey him.

True, he was a complete gentleman now, but when he was angry, he was no better than Thor.

The difference was that Loki had spent time with Thor and had tipped the balance – somewhat- by harming him before.

It was a strange thought process.

With Balder, Loki had done nothing wrong. He had saved him and though Balder had released him, he had also followed him when …

Loki shook his head and began to study his shoes.

Nothing good was going to come with the way Loki was thinking. It was the past, done with and over. 

Loki should stop thinking about it.

“Come on”

Loki blinked and turned when he felt Idunn’s hand on his arm.

She beamed at him “Balder will want to talk to me, come on”

Loki frowned in confusion, but when Idunn stood and grabbed his hand to make him follow, there was little he could do other than obey. He had no real grip on her thinking, but she was currently taking him away from his own thoughts so he followed her, giving a glance at the people they left behind as Idunn led him past a few thick pillars and out towards a wide staircase that would lead them into the terraces.

She stopped, released him and went to the terrace wall, looking down at the gardens below before smiling to him.

“How was the apple juice?” she asked, leaning back against the wall

“Delicious” Loki said, inclining backwards to see if they were being followed. He heard footsteps and grinned to Idunn “We are being searched for”

Idunn giggled, grabbed his hand again and ran down the staircase on the other side of the terrace and down into the lush gardens.

Loki heard their names being called but he didn’t even look back, letting his wily companion take him wherever she wanted.

***

They ended up hiding like little children.

Idunn had wanted to take him to her orchard, but Loki had pointed out that it would probably the first place they would look for them, so they needed another place.

She had agreed instantly and told her she knew of a few catacombs down below by the edge of the ocean.

Loki loved the idea and needed no convincing after she said the words ‘forbidden’ and ‘magic barriers’ .

He tugged on her sleeve to make her go and she grinned before running, leaving him to chase her, hair flying all around him.

Loki had never felt younger.

Idunn led him well past the castle, past the grounds and past most of the city. They had to tip a carriage driver to take them to the edge and bowed to him in gratitude before his lady skipped over to the lands that would get them to the catacombs.

Loki was getting a little tired, but he desperately wanted to see them and followed Idunn to the edge of the river.

They were at the very edge, right next to the raging water below and could have been mistaken for caverns. Waves crashed against them, eroding the land with every hit.

“Can you levitate us?” Idunn asked “I don’t want to climb down, I will ruin my dress.”

Loki nodded and spread his hands, feeling his magic flow easy and strong within him. He imagined a flat, balances surface under their feet and used that to carry them off the ground.

Idunn laughed and clapped her hands when Loki lifted them off and held onto his arm as she watched the waves beneath them. Se screeched when Loki brought them too close to the waves before he hovered at the catacombs.

“Which one?” he asked Idunn over the roaring of the waves, his hair flying in the wind and mist

“You pick!” she replied.

Loki nodded and went to the deepest, darkest one.

When they landed, Idunn stumbled and Loki steadied her like the true gentleman he was.

She smiled at him before nodding, holding his hand tightly as she walked forward, pulling him along.

“What will we find here?” Loki asked

“I once heard a man say he stored jewels here” Idunn said “I wish to see”

Loki frowned “What if he was lying?”

She shrugged “An adventure, then”

Loki sniggered and looked around, noting that things were getting darker as they moved further along.

He waved a hand and conjured an ice flame in it. It gave off no heat, but it gave plenty light. He raised it high, letting it proceed them into the caverns.

They reached a path of jagged rocks and Loki stumbled, holding onto Idunn and make _her_ stumble as well.

“Watch what you are doing!” Idunn snapped “You’ll tear my dress”

“Sorry” Loki muttered and looked at the high ceiling. He couldn’t see anything but darkness and grimaced at how small he felt.

He stumbled again and Idunn cussed.

“What?” Loki asked, frowning at her language “I didn’t even touch you”

Wordlessly, she pointed ahead.

Loki raised his eyes forward and felt his shoulders slump.

“A dead end” he muttered, spinning around “Another route, then”

Idunn sighed and walked behind him, head hung in disappointment.

They travelled ahead, noting a few areas they hadn’t gone in and finding them all either sealed or broken into dark abysses. It was exciting, but Loki had wanted magic and it wasn’t there.

It was – disappointing.

They followed the pathway back, thinking of going to a few more catacombs, perhaps take a fresh start from where they began.

Idunn skipped forward and Loki followed at a slightly more sedate pace, watching for signs of magic.

“Loki”

He looked up to see Idunn gesturing at him to hurry over and vanished into a nook in the wall. Loki’s eyes widened a moment before he followed.

He made it as far as his shoulder when he stuck.

“Damn it!” Loki muttered “I’m stuck”

“Shall I pull?” Idunn asked, grabbing his hand

“No, no” Loki began to pull himself out “I’ll retreat and you follow me. I won’t let you go on alone”

“Why?” Idunn frowned and placed her hands at her hips as he pulled out “because I am a woman?”

“No” Loki said “because there is a spider above you”

Loki laughed at the shrill shriek Idunn gave before he all but leapt out, coming over to hide behind him.

Loki laughed at her and looked behind him “There was no spider”

She glared at him and punched his ribs “Idiot. I am going back”

“No” Loki grabbed her arm “you are not going anywhere without me, this is …”

Something heavy landed nearby and Loki broke off. He raised his head, eyes searching. 

Another loud thump and he heard a grumbling voice.

“Loki?” Idunn asked, moving close to him “What’s wrong?”

“We’re not alone” Loki told her “get behind me”

She obeyed and Loki waited; gently pushing her back till they hid in the shadows.

Loki heard more rumbling, then the distinct sounds of heavy footsteps as they plopped on the smoother part of the catacombs.

Loki pressed Idunn back and pasted himself on the wall, looking.

His eyes went wide and he gaped when he saw a very familiar Frost Giant walking into the cavern.

Helbindi trudged around, looking for something.

His angry face was wrinkled in irritation and he paced, head lolling like he was cattle, royal bands shining on his huge, thick arms.

He hadn’t seen Loki and when Idunn squirmed behind him, Loki raised a finger to his mouth and told her to stop. She nodded and buried her head between his shoulder blades.

Loki watched his half brother move about before he gave a huff and sat down heavily, shaking the entire cavern. He had something in his hands and Loki could sense magic coming off it.

He tried to decipher what it was when he heard more footsteps coming.

Loki had to place a hand over his mouth when he saw Byleistr heave himself into the large passage and nod to Helbindi.

“What do you want?” Byleistr snapped “hurry up, I do not have much time”

Helbindi sneered at him “My dam wishes to meet”

Byleistr scoffed and crossed his arms “You are wasting my time, brother. I shall not meet that cold blooded…”

Helbindi’s laugh stopped Byleistr and he looked at his brother with narrowed eyes.

“What makes you think he wishes to meet _you_?” Helbindi asked “as far as we know, the power doesn’t lie with you anymore”

Loki’s eyes widened as Byleistr growled “I am a prince! The true prince and I will not have…”

Helbindi chuckled at him “If our exile showed us anything, it is this; power in Jotunhiem is unstable.

Many go for the throne and I have already heard the Aesir warrior make deals with Jarnsaxa for the throne. According to them, his army will come in useful when they face us. They are wrong, we are much too powerful, but what that means is that you have no more power. All you really are is a fallen prince, desperate to get your throne back – so desperate that you sold that runt into a marriage and stupidly gave _him_ power.”

Byleistr growled

Helbindi chuckled “Our damn has two choices for you. Either leave us be and bow to us when you fall or hand us the casket and rule a Jotunhiem stronger than ever”

“No one defeats the Aesir army” Byleistr said “they have never lost”

Helbindi chuckled “They have never faced true Jotuns before”

Another snarl left Byleistr’s lips 

“Give us the casket” Helbindi said, moving to the exit “or we talk to the runt and take his power as our own”

“Loki would never agree”

“He would if we tell him what we know about you”

Loki stilled in dread.

Byleistr growled and Helbindi chuckled. A moment later, something hissed and whirled.

Loki saw his brother standing, staring at the ocean for a long time before he sighed and left, his footsteps thumping away.

Loki waited a few heartbeats before he stepped forward, gently pulling Idunn along.

“What happened?” she asked “who were they?”

It took Loki a moment to realize that she probably hadn’t understood a single word between his brothers.

They were speaking their native language, after all.

“Thieves” Loki said “probably. We should leave, it gets late”

“Aye” Idunn said “too bad we didn’t find any jewels.”

“It is” Loki said, leading her to the way they had come in and once more levitating them both high into the air to take them to the cliffs above.

***

In hindsight, Loki should have known it would cause panic.

Because the moment he and Idunn entered the castle, the doors were pulled open by a frantic Thor and Balder, their eyes panicked and their hair almost standing up on end.

Behind them, more than sixty people stood, armed and ready.

“Loki!” Thor yelled, running forward and hauling Loki into his arms, embracing him tightly “Thank the Norns you are alright!”

Balder had done something similar with Idunn and she had almost vanished in his massive figure.

Then they had pulled back and Thor had started looking Loki over, checking for scrapes.

“Are you well?” Thor asked, face worried “Are you hurt?”

He cupped Loki’s cheek and made him blush.

“Th-Thor, I’m fine” Loki said, chuckling when Thor stopped spinning him around “Nothing’s wrong”

Thor turned him back “Then what the hell were you thinking!? You leave without telling anybody and vanish for hours! Do have any idea how irresponsible that was!?”

His voice rose with every word and Loki flinched, smirk falling from his face.

“I …”

“We were collecting an army to get you!” Thor pointed behind him “We thought something _terrible_ happened!”

“I’m sorry, I …” Loki looked behind Thor, at all the people that were staring at him and immediately wanted to run.

He wasn’t used to so much attention.

“I .. I …, Thor, I …” Loki stuttered.

Thor sighed, his face softening “Come on”

Thor took his hand and pulled him inside, placing an arm around his shoulder protectively as he guided him past the Aesir and deep into the palace.

Loki looked behind him and saw Idunn rolling her eyes at him as Balder scolded her. Loki was turning back when he saw the gathered Aesir glaring at him, their eyes narrowed as they watched him go.

A chill went up him and he went back to looking where Thor was taking them. His husband was silent, his mouth a thin line and he looked pale.

Loki looked at him, biting his lip “Th- Thor, I didn’t mean to…”

“It’s alright” Thor said “I’m sorry, I yelled at you. I was just worried.”

Loki studied the tips of his boots “Thor, still, I …”

“Loki!”

Loki looked up with a small gasp, paling when he saw Byleistr run towards them. He was grateful that Thor was around and unconsciously pushed himself closer to his husband.

Thor’s arm tightened around him and he glared at Byleistr.

“Where did you go?” Byleistr asked, looking at Loki “Did something happen?”

Loki shook his head “I’m fine”

He recalled what he had seen, who Byleistr had met and felt his mind reel.

“What were you thinking?!” Byleistr asked “you could have been hurt!”

Loki opened his mouth to speak, but Thor was faster.

“Enough” Thor told Byleistr, seeing clear through the facade “I have yelled at him enough, he doesn’t need your scolding”

Byleistr’s mouth pressed together in anger. He nodded in respect – forced respect – and stepped back.

“Yes, Prince”

Loki didn’t say anything, he didn’t even raise his eyes because he knew he would see anger in his brother’s crimson gaze.

The meeting he had witnessed came to his mind and he realized his brother was dangerous at the moment. He needed to tell someone.

He needed to tell Thor.

But the very idea left him cold. Byleistr was all he had. He was the only family he had and Loki knew there was a special sort of hell for those that betrayed family. He didn’t want to know what that hell was.

And what did Helbindi mean by that remark? What he known about Byleistr that could make Loki leave him?

The thoughts jumbled in his head, mixed with the excitement of his adventure and irritated him.

Loki let out a growl of annoyance and Thor looked at him.

A smirk came over those lips and he chuckled.

“I don’t think I have ever heard you make that noise before”

Loki looked at him and blinked “Oh. I’m sorry”

Thor sighed “I didn’t mean it as a chastising, Loki. Just an observation. Do you still not trust me?”

The moment he said it, Thor knew he had made a mistake.

Of course Loki did not trust him. They both knew it.

Thor had proved himself capable of hurting Loki in more ways than one, why would the boy do something as stupid as trusting him?

He had to be with him because he was forced to marry; it didn’t automatically mean he trusted him.  
Thor bit his lip, trying to think of something else to say, to smooth over the awkwardness.

“I lost my virginity when I was thirteen”

Loki blinked before he slowly turned his head to stare at him, eyes large, mouth hanging open.

And Thor wanted to die.

***

Dinner was excruciating; for Thor.

He kept his eyes focused on his food as he recalled _how_ he had ‘smoothed over’ things with Loki.

Beside him, Loki was having a hard time keeping a straight face.

Balder watched them both, nudging Idunn as she sat beside him, whispering something that made her laugh.

Frigga and Odin watched the couples carefully. Their source of entertainment was Thor; Thor, who was usually the loudest had become surprisingly silent tonight.

And though he was dying to ask him what had him so silent and Loki so amused, there were far more subtle ways to do it.

“So” Odin said “You are all being rather silent. Is everything well?”

Loki sipped his drink “Yes, All Father, I was just thinking of something I learned about Thor today”

Thor cleared his throat and Loki grinned slowly.

“Rather informative, your son is” Loki went on, noticing the sparkle in Odin’s eye “And gives out facts…”

“I’m done!” Thor stood suddenly, then nodded to his parents “Excuse me, I need to speak with Loki”

Loki laughed when Thor grabbed his hand and started to drag him off.

“Wait! I’m not done” Loki laughed, pulling away and reaching in his platter for the sweetbread before

Thor grabbed his wrist again 

“Good bye!” Loki giggled, waving at his family and taking a bite out of the dessert as his husband took him away.

Loki managed to finish the bread and licked his lips as Thor led him past the halls, not even asking where they were going as he licked his fingertips.

Thor wasn’t angry, Loki knew, so when Thor suddenly pulled them into a darkened corridor and pinned Loki against the wall, Loki pretended to gasp.

“Thor!” he said, eyes exaggeratedly large “What are you doing!?”

Thor gave him a dry glare “Really?”

Loki shrugged “I was feeling a little dramatic”

Thor shook his head and smiled at him “When did you become this mischievous?”

“When you lost your virginity”

Thor’s smile vanished and Loki laughed loudly when Thor put his forehead on Loki’s shoulder and put his arms around Loki’s waist, embracing him.

“Thor” Loki pushed at his shoulders half heartedly “Let go”

Thor hummed “No, I am rather happy here. Besides, you embarrassed me”

“Really?” Loki asked, running his fingers through Thor’s hair as he held him “Will you do something about it?”

Thor hummed for a long time before he chuckled “Maybe”

Loki felt excitement course through him “I don’t believe you”

“I see”

Loki expected Thor to kiss him again, so when Thor’s fingers began to tickle his side, he screamed in laughter.

“Thor, no!” Loki cackled, squirming and writhing in Thor’s grip “Stop!”

“Beg for forgiveness!” Thor said, tickling under his arms, his stomach and following Loki when he fell to the floor, laughing

“Thor!” Loki gasped, curling up when Thor didn’t relent he kicked out and thrashed but there was no escaping “Stop it! I can’t breathe!”

“Apologize!”

“I’m sorry!” Loki wheezed, bucking and kicking and laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes “I’m sorry, Thor!”

Immediately Thor stopped. Panting, he stood and looked at the giggling mess at his feet.

Loki was shuddering as his laughter subsided and giggling brokenly.

“Can you get up?” Thor asked after he lay, trying to catch his breath.

“Will you do that again if I ask you to lift me up?” Loki panted

Thor shook his head “No”

“Then no, I can’t get up”

Thor rolled his eyes and sighed before reaching down and lifting Loki, throwing him over his shoulder.

“This isn’t what I had in mind” Loki muttered.

He yelped when Thor slapped his rear.

“Thor!”

Thor chuckled “Well, you did try to…”

Thor broke off with a sharp shout when he felt the tight smack on his own rear.

He froze in disbelief.

Loki chuckled “Now hurry up before I do it again”

Thor blinked, grinned like a fool before walking, then skipping down the corridor.

Loki’s yelps were so satisfying to hear.

***

They were not feeling sleepy.

Thor was lying back with Loki’s head on his shoulder while he played with a pale, slender hand and Loki was watching him, occasionally grasping Thor’s fingers with his own, then letting go when Thor tugged.

The sheet was up to their hips and they had long since stopped talking, content with just being together. 

Thor had not felt this was in such a long time.

He sighed and that made Loki look up.

“What?”

Thor shook his head “I’m just – at peace”

Loki smiled and rested his head down again “Truly?”

“Aye” Thor flattened their hands together and looked at the difference “Don’t be alarmed, but I wanted to ask you something that has me curious”

Loki tensed “What?”

“What do you think happens during sex?”

A stunned silence followed and Loki cleared his throat while Thor chuckled.

Loki blinked and turned a bright, bright red. Thor felt his face heat up and chuckled.

“I’m serious” Thor said “Tell me”

Loki felt tongue tied and swallowed, unable to speak without wanting to hide.

“I …”

Thor rubbed his arm and kissed his head, then watched as Loki sat up and looked at him over his shoulder.

“Well” Loki said, still red “people kiss and … do things. Then he just … puts it in”

Thor managed to control himself for three seconds.

Then burst out laughing, causing Loki to cover his face with his hands and fall forward, embarrassed.

“I knew you would laugh at me!”

“No!” Thor chuckled, grabbing him and pulling him back, insisting when Loki fell again “Loki! I wasn’t laughing at you, I was laughing at …”

“Me” Loki said as Thor put his arms around him

“No” Thor chuckled and lay back down “You were right … in a way, but that’s not all that happens.

There’s more the that, it love in its purest form, flattery at its best. It sensual, taking in all the senses and manipulating them to give as much pleasure as two people can to each other. And people don’t bleed like a slaughtered goat”

Loki bit his lips to keep from smiling.

“You’re laughing, aren’t you?” Thor asked

“No” Loki lied

“Do you wish me to tickle you again?”

“No!” Loki yelled and tried to get away but Thor held firm “Okay, I was! I was!”

“I knew it”

Thor pulled Loki closer, making him lie on his front so he could look at his face. Thor tipped his chin up and smiled, making Loki blush.

“Loki, you are beautiful”

Loki’s ears turned red and he looked away.

Thor smiled and kissed his temple “I do not lie. You are truly a magnificent creature”

“Creature?”

“Being”

Loki gave him a dry glare “Well, this _creature_ needs some sleep. So be quiet”

Thor sniggered as Loki ordered him to shut up and rested his head on Thor’s chest, a hand curled and pressed to Thor’s side.

“You know” Thor said, rubbing circles on the back of Loki’s sleep tunic “I wanted to tell you something and I can’t find words”

“Just spit it out so I can sleep” Loki ordered.

“That night” Thor swallowed “I …”

Thor blinked when Loki placed a finger on his lips.

Loki’s green eyes bored into his as he raised his head to look at him “I have already forgiven you. And you have forgiven me. What happened that night was really stupid, and if anything, somewhat comical. Do not see it in any other light”

Thor smiled behind his finger “All I was going to say was that I was really going to make you like it”

Loki gave him a disbelieving glare “Really?”

Thor chuckled and kissed his finger “Aye. But you don’t want to know that, so let’s sleep”

Loki spluttered as Thor guided his head back on his chest.

Thor placed a hand behind his head and closed his eyes with a sigh.

Loki put an arm across Thor’s middle and closed his eyes as well, willing them both into slumber.

*** 

Something fell and shattered in their room.

Loki woke first, levering himself off, green eyes surveying the dark. He waited, listening for something else, so when a whispered hiss reached his ears, Loki froze.

“Thor” Loki shook his husband “Thor, wake up”

Thor mumbled and woke, frowning “What? What is it?”

“There’s someone in our room” Loki whispered.

Thor woke swiftly and completely, gently pushing Loki off and going to where he kept Mjolnir. Loki followed him off the bed, hands thrumming with magic.

Both of them froze when they heard footsteps.

“Get behind me” Thor said, shielding Loki “and prepare a few good spells”

“Already done” Loki said

The steps came closer and voices sounded.

Voices …

Loki’s hand grabbed Thor’s arm “There’s more than one”

“Don’t worry” Thor said, moving into the shadowed staircase that led them down “and stay close”

Loki held onto the back of Thor’s tunic as they went downstairs and heard more voices.

Whoever it was, made no effort to be silent and a horrible thought occurred to Loki.

“Thor, I think we …”

The only warning was a shuffle and Thor was sent flying across the room, over the stairs to fall on the hard floor.

He didn’t move.

“Thor!” Loki screamed and ran forward, shouting when someone grabbed his arm and pulled him back, sending him flying next.

He cried out as he hit the marble and was held down with a hand in his hair and one on his back.

“Have the child” he was told “or this will only get worse”

Loki gasped and closed his eyes, shuddering as his brother held him down.

“Understand it” Byleistr said, rasping at him, reeking of drink “Or I will tell your pretty husband what you have done”

“Let me go!” Loki gasped, choking when Byleistr pressed him down harder.

“I give you a week”

Loki whimpered and closed his eyes, gasping in relief and scrambling to Thor when he was released. He spun to look behind him but his brother was gone.

His heart hammered in his chest and Loki realized he was shivering violently. He wanted to run, run far away from everyone here and never return. But his hand suddenly touched something and he realized Thor was still unconscious. 

“Thor!” Loki turned and shook his husband “Thor, wake up, please!”

Thor didn’t move, his eyes were shut and there was blood leaking from a gash on his forehead, pooling on the floor. His hammer lay beside him and it didn’t seem like he was breathing.

“Thor, please” Loki shook him again, stopping when he saw the amount of blood gathering “Oh Norns…”

His eyes filled with tears and he realized he needed help.

Loki stood, uncaring of whether he was wearing shoes or not and went to the one door that was making sense to him at the moment.

***

There were almost no guards around, so Loki ran, slamming against the door before banging it with his fist in desperation. 

He didn’t speak, lest he attract more attention that the knocking would but stopped when he heard footsteps thumping inside.

The door pulled open and Loki found himself staring into violent golden eyes again.

“Loki?” Bragi stared, confused “what’s wrong?”

“He fell!” Loki said, grabbing Bragi’s arm and running back “He fell and he’s not moving!”

Bragi realized something had happened, though Loki was of no help, and let the panicked boy lead him back to the royal chambers.

They slammed through the doors, Bragi keeping his footing where Loki almost lost his and went deeper.  
Bragi paled when he saw Thor lying immobile and unmoving on the ground, a pool of blood under his head.

“Norns be damned, what happened?!” Bragi ran over, checking Thor for a pulse. He found one, and breathed a sigh of relief before pushing bloody hair off Thor’s forehead to inspect the gash.

“He’s alive but … how did this happen?”

“I don’t know” Loki whimpered from behind him “I found him like this”

Bragi frowned and looked at Loki before he shook his head “Healing stones. Go to my chambers, there is a large metal box under the bed. Bring it to me”

Loki stared at him, re thinking the impulse that had brought Bragi here. 

“I …”

“Now!” Bragi snapped “before he bleeds to death!”

Loki jerked and spun around, sprinting out into the halls again, praying he wouldn’t meet anyone. His heart was hammering in his chest as he ran faster than he ever remembered, his bare feet clapping against the floor and his hair swishing in the wind.

Loki crashed back into Bragi’s room and all but dove under the bed, searching for the box. His hand patted it when he found it and dragged it out. It was heavy enough to use both hands and Loki was a few degrees slower but he managed to come back into the room and he managed to keep himself from shaking too violently as he set it down beside Bragi.

The man had managed to place Thor in the couch and stopped his bleeding by bandaging his head.

Loki pulled open the box and took out some healing stones, moving to place them over Thor.

He gasped when Bragi snatched them from his hands.

“Get a bowl of water” Bragi said “Make sure it is cold and place a small towel in it. Bring it here while I do this”

Swallowing, Loki nodded and ran up the stairs and into the bathroom to get what was needed. He grabbed a tub, wiping his eyes with a forearm as he filled it with cold water and waited before he placed a towel in it and slowly, carefully walked back down.

Bragi looked up from where he had broken a stone and nodded to the ground beside him.

“Place it here” he said “then have some water. You look terrible”

“I’m fine” Loki shuddered, putting his arms around himself “Is he…?”

“He’ll be fine” Bragi said “I’ll put him to bed and you make sure he doesn’t move too much at night. In the morning, I will check for signs of memory loss or something else, but I’m sure he will be fine. He’s got a hard, stubborn head”

Loki nodded and wiped his eyes again, taking a step back when Bragi stood and lifted Thor into his arms easily.

Loki followed him, running to the bed to pull back the covers so Bragi could place his husband on it. Bragi turned Thor to the side so he wouldn’t fall and stepped back, brushing his hands on his trousers.

“Is that all?” he asked Loki, who was standing on the other side of the bed, running a hand through his hair as the other wrapped itself around his waist in nervousness.

“Will he be fine?”

Loki looked ghostly pale and he was still shaking, his eyes darting from Thor to the stairs and back again.

Bragi sighed “Come get me if something happens, alright?”

Loki nodded, his gaze on the ground as the taller man walked to the stairs to leave.

Bragi padded down the stairs, noticed Thor’s hammer lying beside the blood and sighed.

“And clean the blood up” he told Loki “you don’t want to alarm the maids, do you?”

“No” Loki said softly from above.

Bragi waited for him to walk downstairs but when he didn’t, the blonde warrior walked out of the door, thinking of what had _really_ happened here and how he would make Loki tell him.

***

The next morning, Thor woke to a mild headache.

It was dull and it throbbed with his pulse, so it made him highly uncomfortable. Where it had come from, he didn’t know, but when he raised a hand to his head, he found it bandaged and startled, recalling last night.

His eyes widened and he looked to his side to see Loki curled up next to him, perfectly fine.

He sighed in relief and looked around to see if anything was out of place or not.

But everything was fine. Whoever had snuck in and attacked had done nothing. They hadn’t taken anything, either. He softly got out of bed to look around, but other than his hammer being on the floor, there was really nothing wrong.

Thor groaned and touched his forehead.

Almost nothing.

Lifting Mjolnir, Thor walked back up the stairs to place her where she belonged and went to the toilet to change his bandages.

He slipped them off slowly, using both hands to unwind it and wondered how the hell Loki had managed to bandage, heal and carry him up to bed.

Perhaps he used his magic.

The idea made Thor smile and his mood lifted a little.

Turning, he went to turn on the bath and sat on the edge, thinking.

Whatever last night was, Thor was not going to rest until he got to the bottom of it. This was a deliberate attack on him and when he found out who was responsible – nothing would save them from his rage.

Just like nothing saved those men and women that had tormented Loki.

Their imprisonment was warranted and Thor had done it himself. It sent a message to Asgard subtly.

No one harms the new prince.

Thor wondered if this was a message sent back to him, that his people were resenting him now.

He scoffed; that wasn’t possible.

He hadn’t really done anything to warrant resentment.

Water touched his toes and he looked to see a somewhat filling bath. His eyes went to the bubble bath and he smiled, turning his head to look at the room where Loki still slept.

Making up his mind, Thor stood and walked over to the bedroom. 

Loki was still sleeping and Thor sat next to him, gently brushing his hair back to wake him. He stroked his cheek bones, his soft hair and smiled when Loki stirred a little, frowning at the disturbance before fluttering his eyes open.

He stayed in sleep induced confusion for a moment before he looked at Thor.

His eyes widened and he gasped.

“Thor!”

Thor blinked when Loki shot off the bed and threw his arms around him, holding him to his chest.

“You are alright!” Loki’s voice was muffled in his hair “Thank the Norns, you are alright!”

As Thor’s arms went around him, his confidence in dealing with the assailant suddenly wavered.

“Loki, yes, I’m fine” Thor said “it will take more than a hit to the head for me to die. Whoever it was that attacked me will pay soon enough”

Loki held him tightly a moment longer before he sat back, his fingers running from Thor’s hair to his forehead, looking for injuries that could have remained. Then he looked at Thor with large eyes.

“Thor” Loki said firmly “you fell”

Thor frowned in confusion “What?” 

“Last night” Loki said “we heard something and you fell down the stairs … no one attacked you”

Thor stared at him, scenes from last night playing clearly in his head “Are you serious? Loki, you were right behind me, something …”

“I was” Loki said softly, touching his hair again “I saw what happened, Thor. Are you sure you are alright? Are you experiencing any symptoms to concussion?”

Thor’s brow furrowed. He hadn’t fallen; he was attacked.

“Loki…”

“How many fingers do you see?” Loki held up a hand with four fingers raised.

Irritation came over Thor and he grabbed Loki’s hand, lowering it.

“Loki, I didn’t fall, someone attacked me” he said firmly

He saw alarm in Loki’s eyes and his own narrowed.

“Why are you lying to me?” Thor asked

Loki paled and began to pull at his arm “I –I’m not, Thor”

“Yes, you are” Thor said, tightening his grip “You are lying to me. Do you know who it was?”

Loki gasped and tried to pull back but Thor wasn’t having it.

“Thor, please” he said “I’m not lying! Why would I be unharmed if it was an attack? Wouldn’t the person get me, too?”

Thor was unconvinced, but Loki seemed to have a point. His eyes, however, told Thor there was more to the story.

“Did you know who…?”

Something cool and cold slithered up his arm and he released Loki, letting him stumble off the bed, staring at Thor.

The golden haired god looked at his clothing, at the bed, then at his husband, his expression confused.

“Loki, what happened last night?”

Loki stood on the other side, shaking like a leaf and staring at the man he had hexed. His hands shook and he lowered them to his sides.

“You fell” Loki told him in a slightly shaky voice.

He couldn’t let Thor harm his brother.

“And hurt yourself”

He was the only family he had.

***

By lunch, Loki was somewhat relieved that his spell had worked.

Thor believed his story and took in every word, every detail that Loki had given him, telling it to his family when they asked why Loki looked so pale.

It warmed their hearts that Loki had begun to care so much for Thor; they didn’t think it would happen.

Odin chuckled when he saw Loki nibbling at his meal “Son, worry not. Thor had a hard head; nothing really harms him”

Loki gave him a small smile but kept his gaze firmly on his food. Thor was talking animatedly to his mother while Balder kept giving Loki small glances every now and then. The first prince had yet to spend three minutes in Loki’s company.

First he thought that Loki was generally not talking to anyone, but then he smiled and laughed at his parents and even _Thor_ , though Balder shouldn’t make that comparison, the man who had lashed him and left him out.

He didn’t even look at him and Balder knew it was because he had broken his promise to Loki.

The knowledge did little to soothe his hurt.

The other day, Loki had left the room when Balder had entered, taking Idunn with him.

Idunn, the only other person Balder really cared about was now friends with Loki. And Balder knew they were going to be inseparable in a little while. Which would leave Balder alone and pining. 

He sighed and looked at Loki again, at the graceful way he held his fork as he nibbled on it, his green eyes fixed on his husband in anxiety.

Whatever happened, had bothered Loki badly and Balder wished to ease some of his pain; it was what he did.

Exhaling, Balder looked at his brother in law “Loki, you know he’s fine”

Loki looked at him up and down, Balder suppressed a wince, and nodded “Aye”

Balder expected something  more so when Loki simply turned back to staring at his husband, his hand hovering over his food, Balder sighed once more and went back to his meal.

Frigga watched the exchange and bit her lip a moment, thinking if there was a tension between Loki and Balder.

Obviously, there was a tension, because Balder had Loki as a prisoner and that resentment would take time to fade, but there was something else there as well.

Something he couldn’t put her finger on.

She wouldn’t get it immediately, she knew, but if she observed, she would eventually uncover it.

So, with that in mind, she watched the three men before her, her gaze going to the green eyed man the most as he fiddled with his food, his eyes fixed on her youngest and anxiety all over his face.

***

By midnight, Loki couldn’t stay with Thor.

The guilt that came with the spell he had placed on his husband was bitter in him and it turned angry and burned him to a degree he didn’t think possible. he had tried to ignore it, tried to swallow it, but it choked him, stuck in his throat and made him feel the pain it induced, made him realize what he was doing was wrong.

Made him want to take it back.

But he didn’t. He would not only damn himself, but his brother, too.

Whatever ground he had gained with Thor will be lost and he would once again be called a liar and be considered untrustworthy.

He didn’t want that.

But he didn’t want his brother to be harmed either. His brother, whose stupidity got him into this mess!

Loki wanted to hit him. He wanted to tell him he knew that he met with Helbindi and called him _here_ in Asgard, of all places! He wanted to tell him that he would spill his secret and he wanted to _know_ what Helbindi meant by the comment he made.

What would make Loki leave his brother’s loyalty?

Loki shook his head and growled.

He was walking the halls at this hour, telling Thor he needed some fresh air. The man had agreed, smiled at him and let him go with a kiss to the back of his hand.

Such was the trust Loki had broken.

His boots clicked on the marble as he walked the darkened paths, thinking of going to his brother and demanding answers.

But he shuddered even as he thought it; Byleistr was probably going to harm him.

Loki had stacked a great deal of resentment from his brother and meeting him alone at night would have been unwise.

So he sighed and rubbed his arms as he walked, looking at the skies that were visible from the terrace that came up ahead.

The stars were one of the things that calmed Loki and he walked forward, feeling a little easy.

From beside him, a large hand shot out and grabbed his arm, pulling him back roughly, cutting off his cry by placing a heavy hand over his mouth. Loki gasped when he was pulled into a dark corridor and slammed back against the wall. He raised his free hand to protect his face, heart hammering within his chest, and froze when he saw Bragi looking down at him, eyes hooded and bored.

Loki stared at him, shuddering when the man leaned in close.

“Tell me the truth, Loki” Bragi said “What really happened last night?”

Loki’s eyes widened and he began to thrash around, crying out behind Bragi’s hand. He whimpered when Bragi pressed him back against the wall, pinning him there firmly.

“Tell me!” Bragi said 

Loki turned his head aside and shook off Bragi’s silencing hand.

“Nothing!” he panted “You know what…”

“Don’t lie to me” Bragi rasped “I knew there was something amiss last night. Why the hell would Thor have his hammer with him if he fell? What happened, Loki?”

Loki didn’t turn to him so he yelped when Bragi grabbed his jaw and made him turn his frightened eyes to his golden ones.

“Last chance” Bragi said “You do _not_ want me to investigate this”

Something cool went up his arm and Bragi blinked before he sneered at Loki.

“That won’t work on me”

Loki dropped the hex, horror descending on him.

Bragi slit his eyes at him “I come from a long line of magic”

The hand holding Loki’s jaw began to glow gold. And Loki gasped and tried to recoil as he felt comfortable warmth emit from it.

“I can undo what you did” he told Loki plainly 

“L – Let me go” Loki whimpered “Or I will scream”

Bragi’s eyes widened at the implication. His mouth twisted in anger and for a moment, Loki thought he was going to hit him.

He gasped when Bragi released him and cringed, stumbling away.

“Know that I gave you a chance, Loki” Bragi told him “Know that you had the choice”

Loki stared at him, backed up a few steps then ran back to his chambers, panting brokenly in his fear.

***

Thor looked up from what he was working on when he heard the door open and close.

It had been three days since his injury and he was already feeling better. That was the reason he was in the library, a place that always gave him migraines, as he went over old maps of Jotunhiem, marking out places he knew Tyr had explored.

His eyes were focused so he didn’t know who had come in until they spoke.

“Your husband’s lying to you”

Thor looked up, confusion on his face a moment before he scowled.

“What do you want, Bragi?”

Bragi, leaning against a large shelf, smirked “I said, your husband’s lying to you. You didn’t fall that night; you were attacked”

Thor stared at him in rising anger “I beg your pardon?”

Bragi smirked and pushed off to walk closer to him. Since he had saved Loki and helped Thor gain justice, he had bordered on being welcomed by his youngest brother.

“You didn’t fall that night” he said “someone attacked you. Loki knows this and if my guess is correct, he hexed you against remembering it.”

Thor growled at him “Watch what you say…”

“If” Bragi cut in and lifted a small crystal rune carver “this turns blue, it means it has absorbed the hex”

“How do I know if you…”

“I didn’t make it” Bragi said “Your mother did. Ask her, if you don’t believe me. But place this against your skin and press till it touches blood. When that happens, it will either change, or it won’t. But if it does…”

Bragi placed the carver before Thor on the table.

“Know that you are in trouble”

He turned and walked away after that, leaving Thor alone with his decision.

***

“Are you sure about this?” Loki asked, lifting the dropper over the beaker and squeezing only the most miniscule amount into the liquid inside.

It fell in and changed from green to gold before their eyes.

Idunn sat opposite him, watching him avidly “I don’t know. I have never experimented with my apples before”

Loki gave her a small glance and went back to work.

Three days he had been locked in his study; the rooms right next to his bed chambers. One was for Thor, the other for him.

Loki had claimed one for his study and the other as his lab.

This was where he had started working, pulling and pushing magical elements in Idunn’s apples to see what could happen.

He raised another dropper, this filled with the pure juice Idunn got him every day.

He hovered over the beaker a moment and looked at his partner “I should be careful”

“Aye” she said “not too fast, or we might be painting the walls”

Loki shushed her and lowered his head, ready to drop in the juice.

The doors banged open “Loki!”

Thor was thrown back a moment later, the explosion shaking the whole room and filling it with smoke.


	12. Infantile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Thor fix things ... in an unexpected way

Thor lay stunned on his back, spread eagled on the floor at the foot of his bed, stars dancing before his eyes as he tried to recall what seeing felt like.

Somewhere, over the heavy thrum of his hearing returning, Thor could hear someone yelling.

Then someone was touching him, shaking him as he lay unmoving.

Idunn looked like she had lost a battle with a bilgsnipe and her hair stood on end.

She was saying something but Thor couldn’t hear her and it was only when she slapped him across the he blinked and felt himself come down from the shock his body was in.

Thor paled when he realized what happened and sat up, pushing Idunn away as he ran into the room where she had been.

“Loki!” Thor yelled, coughing and waving a hand to ward off smoke “Loki, answer me!”

A whimper answered him and Thor felt his knees get weak.

If Loki was hurt …

Norns, he wouldn’t be able to handle it!

“Loki!” Thor called, taking small steps “Answer me, darling, where are you?”

A wail erupted from the chambers as Thor reached the desk Loki had been bent over, shrill and high pitched.

“Loki, don’t worry, I’ll…”

Thor broke off when he saw where his husband had been standing.

He heard Idunn move in behind him and she gasped loudly, placing a hand over her mouth when she saw what had become of Loki.

There, were Loki had been previously standing, practicing with Idunn’s apples, a bundle of clothes that Loki had been wearing moved and shook.

Hands shaking as he bent down on one knee, Thor expected the worst. He gently lifted the shifted clothes and felt his mouth hang open.

“Oh dear…” Idunn breathed from behind him, a hand on her shoulder.

The wailing had stopped, turned to cooing, as two large green eyes looked up at them. A hand raised into the air, grasping for Thor’s finger and giggling when he was caught.

The child was barely a year old, but there was no mistaking it.

Thor had turned his husband into a babe.

***

Really, it was the first thing Thor did.

There was really nothing else to do. He was not a magician, he knew nothing of magic and since he wanted to keep this silent, this was the only way.

Odin and Frigga stared at their son, blinking owlishly as he held a tiny child in his arms. The babe watched them as he kicked and cooed in Thor’s arms, lifting the edge of the cloak Thor had over him and putting it in his mouth.

Beside Thor, Idunn stood. Her hair was still on end and soot and dust covered her from head to toe. Her dress was torn from the hem and her cheeks painted with black. A splatter of blue potion was stuck firmly at the very top of her head, but her eyes still shone brightly.

Odin eyed the pair, then the babe.

Loki giggled and gave him a toothless grin.

Odin looked at Thor in bewilderment “Why do you do such things? Are you bored?” 

Thor felt mirth rise in him despite the situation “I didn’t do anything. My only crime is walking in when …”

“Banging the door, really” Idunn said “You spooked your husband and now you are wed to a babe”

“This isn’t funny” Frigga said

“Actually…” Odin inclined his head, wincing when Frigga smacked it “Of course it isn’t funny! You could have hurt him”

Thor lowered his head in shame and in doing so, gave Loki access to his hair, which the boy promptly pulled.

Thor winced as he tried to extract his hair but Loki held on and he was forced to look at his parents with his head tilted.

“Can you fix this?” he asked, grimacing when Loki put his hair in his mouth.

“We can try” Frigga said, sighing “Let me see”

She walked down to her child and looked at the babe in his arms.

Despite her need to remain angry and scold Thor, she felt a smile form on her lips when the adorable child looked up at her and cooed, releasing Thor to extend his arms to her.

“My, he is just…” Frigga gasped and took her tiny son in law from Thor, holding him to her chest and grinning down at him.

Thor rolled his eyes and looked at Idunn.

He snorted in laughter “You look ridiculous”

She made a face “Says that man that turned his husband into a babe”

“Well?” Odin came over to Frigga “can it be fixed?”

“Of course” she rocked the child “in a day or two, the spell will be out of his system and he will go back to the way we know him”

“Truly?” Thor’s relief was plain

“Aye” Frigga smiled, then lowered her head to kiss Loki’s nose.

Loki laughed and tried catching her hair but she held him out to Thor.

“In the meantime, you take care of him” she said “feed him, wash him, bathe him”

Thor gaped “What?! I know nothing of taking care of a child!”

“Then consider this your lesson” Odin said “and don’t sit on him”

Thor stared at him “Why the hell would I sit on a child?”

“I won’t help” Idunn announced

Thor turned to her, betrayed “What!?”

“Your husband, your problem” Idunn said, walking over and looking down at Loki as Thor held him “He is even more adorable like this”

She spun around elegantly and left, skipping down the hall in her ruffled state and humming the tune she sang to Thor when he was a child.

Loki giggled and kicked, making small noises that tugged at Thor’s heart.

There was nothing of his previous anger in him at the moment and he found himself grinning when Loki leveled a huge, green eyed stare at him and beamed.

Thor chuckled “He has no teeth”

Odin smiled “There are plenty of foods for babes, in case you do not know”

Balancing him on one thick arm, Thor stroked Loki’s cheeks with one finger, laughing when Loki grabbed it and promptly put it in his mouth to suckle.

“He’s beautiful” Thor announced

Frigga beamed with joy “I know”

Odin laughed “Do we have some of Thor’s old clothes that could fit him?”

“Aye” Thor looked up “Or some of Balder’s. I do not wish him to remain in this cape”

“I shall see” Frigga said, gesturing Thor to follow “Come along and help me search”

Thor all but skipped over before he realized he had a prized bundle in his arms and slowing down. He followed Frigga into her chambers and gently closed the door behind him, leaving Odin to shake his head and wonder where he went wrong with Thor.

Inside, Thor watched as Frigga waved a hand and opened a few cabinets, then the drawers inside. Piles of unstitched clothing floated forward and Thor lifted Loki a little so he could see.

The babe gave a happy coo and watched before shoving his fist into his mouth.

Thor laughed at his antics and walked forward, touching the materials.

“They are so soft”

“Aye” Frigga lifted a few more garments to stack on the bed and motioned Thor to sit “I bought them from Midgard a few years ago. I forgot I had them.”

Thor sat and ran his hand over a beautiful silk cloth, dark green and shining in the light.

“Would you part with this?” he lifted it to show her.

Frigga looked behind her as she opened a few drawers “I didn’t think green was your color”

“It’s emerald” Thor said “and I don’t want it for me”

“Oh?” Frigga asked distractedly

“With a little gold trim, I thought it would suit Loki rather well”

Frigga paused and Loki snickered, kicking Thor and trying to sit. Immediately, Thor dropped the cloth and grabbed Loki around his tiny waist so make him sit on his lap, leaning back against Thor’s stomach as he watched what was happening.

Frigga smiled “Of course he can have it”

Thor beamed, gently jumping a foot to make Loki bounce up and down in his lap.

The babe screeched in laughter and the cape dropped from his tiny body.

“Did you find it?”

“Yes” Frigga lifted a small outfit from the drawer and showed it to Thor “I made this when I was expecting you”

Thor grinned “Isn’t it a little too small? Did you not say you birthed a bilgesnipe when you had me?”

“A dragon, Thor, get your facts right” she muttered, walking over and sitting beside her son and shrunken son in law “And this never fit you”

Loki looked up at her and made a small, questioning noise.

“Yes” Frigga said “this is for you. Lift him, Thor”

Thor nodded and gently held up the kicking bundle as his mother said, then blinked when Frigga conjured a thick diaper in her hands and started to put it on his husband.

Thor made a face.

“Learn” Frigga said “You will be doing this a lot for the next few days”

“I thought you said two” Thor stared at her

She shrugged but didn’t reply and sat back, taking Loki from Thor and placing him on the bed.

Loki watched her with wide eyes, taking her movements in as she began to clothe him. Thor lifted him up, supporting his head and back so that Frigga could pull the tiny tunic over his head then lay him back down.

“Well?” Frigga asked “What do you think?”

Loki gave a high pitched squeak and kicked both his legs as he watched the two people above him.

Thor smiled down at him “He looks like a prince”

Loki turned his emerald eyes to him and smiled.

A moment later, a disgusting squelching noise filled the room.

Both Frigga and Thor looked at each other, then back at Loki, who appeared to be proud of himself.

Frigga chuckled “I will do it only once, just to teach you”

“Of course” Thor said, leaning back when Frigga lifted Loki into her arms and took her to the washroom to change the freshly donned diaper.

Thor made a face at the stench but followed his mother and husband.

***

Odin looked up when Thor returned, holding a tiny Loki in his arms. The babe looked like he was going to sleep so Thor rocked him carefully, smiling when Loki started to suck on his thumb, eyes fixed on Thor’s face.

Frigga came up behind the pair, holding a few folded pieces of cloth that Thor had picked out for Loki.

The All-Father smiled when his son walked over “Are you having fun?”

Thor grinned “Loki might infuriate me to no end, but this I cannot resist”

Odin chuckled from where he sat on his arm chair and gestured to Thor “Give him to me a moment”

Thor frowned “He’s trying to sleep”

“If he sleeps now, he will keep you up all night” Frigga warned, going to ring for a maid.

“No he won’t” Thor almost pouted “he is a babe. He will be no trouble”

“Tell yourself that when you change his cloth” Odin said, holding out his hands “many a brave warrior find themselves disarmed by a child. Now let me hold him”

“You’ll drop him” Thor warned him

“Of course I won’t” Odin said “Now, come along, Thor, don’t you have things that need to be done?”

Grumbling, Thor walked over to his father, reluctantly letting him hold his baby husband.

“Mind his head” Thor said as he laid Loki in his father’s arms.

Odin smiled at him “I think I know how to hold a child, my boy”

Thor was about to reply, but his gaze fell to Loki again. Loki, who was suddenly very interested in Odin’s beard.

“Father, you might want to…”

Thor broke off when Loki pulled his beard and made him yelp.

“Norns be damned!” Odin said, trying to pry Loki’s hand away “How is he stronger than me!?”  

Loki laughed and held on tighter, using his other hand to grab more of Odin’s beard.

“Frigga!” Odin yelled

Thor laughed, being of no help at all, crossing his arms as he watched his father become undone by a baby.

Loki cooed when Frigga came over and freed her husband, giving Thor an amused glance and lifted Loki to her shoulder.

“Damn, that child is strong” Odin fixed his ruffled beard and threw Thor a dirty glance when the man laughed.

Thor chuckled and looked at his mother as she carried his consort about, gently rocking him.

“Will you keep him, then?” Thor asked “until I return?”

“Yes” Frigga said, rubbing Loki’s back “I shall feed him while you go to your meeting, but be here in a few hours. I think he gets restless when you aren’t around”

Thor smiled “Why do you say that?”

As an answer, Frigga showed him the shoulder Loki was on and Thor grinned when he saw Loki straining his neck, looking about for Thor as he heard him but couldn’t see him.

Upon catching sight of him, Loki gave a shrill giggle and laid his head on Frigga’s shoulder, watching Thor with large eyes and sucking his thumb in contentment.

Thor felt his heart give a jolt at the innocent emeralds that focused on him and waved, gaining a lazy smile from the babe.

“I shall return as quickly as I can” Thor said, nodding to his father and coming over to kiss his mother’s cheek.

Loki, disturbed by the lack of Thor, raised his head to look around and Frigga levered him off her shoulder, presenting him to Thor.

Thor grinned “Greetings, darling”

Loki hummed and rested his cheek on Frigga’s shoulder.

“I shall see you in a few hours, sweetheart” Thor stroked Loki’s plump cheeks.

Again, Loki hummed and Thor smiled when his eyes began to droop.

“Go” Frigga said softly, rubbing Loki’s back “He will he awake when you return”

“Aye” Thor kissed his mother’s head and walked away, leaving in far better spirits that he had arrived.

***

Thor wanted to fall asleep where he was.

He had balanced his elbow on the chair and rested his cheek upon a fist as Byleistr went on and on about new battle tactics, telling him how he intended on implementing it and what Thor would have to do to help; it was extremely boring. Thor had stopped listening a while ago, his mind going to how much he wanted to go back to his transformed husband.

Beside him, Balder politely held back a way and blinked, feeling as excited about this as Thor was.

It was shameful, since Byleistr had been working hard on this plan and had it been anyone with a better way of presentation, Thor would have been listening.

But Byleistr droned and Thor wanted to sleep.

It was unfair.

His deep resonating voice lulled Thor and his head fell off his hand, startling him.

He’d actually fallen asleep.

Thor cleared his throat, getting both Balder and Byleistr’s attention and sat straighter in the chair he’d slumped in.

“This is all very good” Thor told the Jotun “but you have shown us this plan two times already. Each time you demand more of our men and each time we give you the same answer.”

Byleistr swallowed his anger well “You have to believe this is the best plan. I know the landscape well, I have lived there, I know what…”

“We know” Balder said “You told us that as well. But understand this. You have a thousand men, that is not a small number, Laufeyson. That is all we are willing to sacrifice”

“But your father…” Byleistr began, his anger slowly rising

“Will support us on this” Balder cut in “we have had enough of your planning. Start implementing it; these meetings do nothing other than delay”

Byleistr’s eyes narrowed.

“From what Tyr is telling us, the army is ready” Balder told Byleistr “which means we have failed this to a great extent. That army should never have been mobilized and I now find myself doubting your loyalty”

Thor stared at his brother while Byleistr flushed in anger. A low growl emitted from his throat.

“I have done _nothing_ but show you my loyalty” Byleistr rasped “I have given you my brother for …”

“Sold him” Thor cut in “You _sold_ your brother to have a chance at gaining power, don’t think we do not know the truth and do not think we are unaware of the kind of ‘loyalty’ you have. Someone who could give his own brother away so callously makes a terrible mess of whatever confidence others had in him”  
Byleistr’s mouth was a thin line in his rage.

“Loki has told me how badly you treated him” Thor told him “be not foolish enough to think I won’t take that under consideration when we finally win this war. The battle we will win, but I doubt you will have our back in you taking the throne”

There was pin drop silence after that announcement.

Thor was calm, Balder was beside him and Byleistr was shaking in his rage.

“I should have known” Byleistr rasped “that you would betray me. You talk of honor but have none yourselves.”

“Be careful in choosing your words” Balder warned him “remember where you stand”

Byleistr’s lip curled in anger and he snarled “I am the rightful heir to my father’s throne!”

“That remains to be seen” Thor said “we have tolerated you this long. Do not think our patience is endless. Stop asking for more men, Byleistr, and give us the word so that we may move forward and destroy this threat”

Byleistr glared at them both.

“I will not forget this” he rasped before he turned and stomped away, banging the doors open and leaving.

Balder and Thor watched him leave.

“Do you think he fell for it?” Balder asked

“I’m sure he did” Thor replied “I am sure he will contact Helbindi again tonight”

“Aye” Balder said “that bastard thinks to outwit us? His arrogance will be his fall”

“And give us the one thing Farbauti will stop this war with” Thor chuckled “I told you wars can be won with wits”

Balder shoved him “As I recall, I was the one who said that”

“Of course not” Thor gave him an affronted look “It was my brilliant plan”

Balder jumped back when Thor tried to shove him, then turned and galloped away, with his brother at his tail.

They managed to startle every single person out in the hallway as Thor chased Balder, jumping over items left on the floor, leaping to avoid oncoming people as though they were mere hurdles.

“You’ll never catch me, brother!” Balder called over his shoulder, running towards the dining hall were preparations for dinner were taking place. He threw open the doors and ran in, Thor only a few feet behind.

The servants, much too used for this, grabbed their platters and dodged the princes as they ran in.

One, a meddling little nuisance, grinned and deliberately stood before Balder, forcing him to a stop.

Balder gave a yell and skid to the halt the yelped when Thor tackled him from behind and they both fell to the ground with a huge crash.

A mild applause followed.

“Traitor!” Balder yelled to the servant.

The man only chuckled and walked away, placing tray’s and other things on the table as was his duty.

Thor, who was sitting on Balder’s back, chuckled and bowed his head to his accomplice.

Under him, Balder sighed “What is the penalty?”

Thor chuckled and looked down at him “I would love to say ‘cleaning the stables’ but I have something else in mind”

Balder levered himself up as much as he could and stared at his brother “What?”

Thor sighed and bit his lip before giving Balder a sidelong glance and had Balder not seen hesitation there, he would have denied the request even before it was spoken.

“What’s wrong?” 

Thor gave his brother a sidelong glance “something is bothering me and I need your advice”

“Is it Loki?” Balder asked, tilting himself to look up at Thor.

“Aye,” Thor sighed and then smiled “By the way, you need to see what he did to himself”

“Idunn told me” Balder said “and she said _you_ did it”

Thor grimaced half heartedly, then his face sobered and he sighed.

Balder frowned “Thor, are you alright?”

Looking around, Thor realized this wasn’t the place for such a conversation.

“Let’s walk in the gardens” Thor said “I need a little privacy for this”

***

They were walking in their mother’s gardens, watching the butterflies and bees as they hovered over Frigga’s beautiful flowers. In the colorful trees, birds flit about, humming and singing, chirping to their young as they fed them. High above, clouds floated looking down upon the two brothers as they walked about, their voices lowered, their expressions serious.

Thor had his arms behind his back, a nervous gesture he wasn’t aware of, and Balder crossed his over his chest, listening to what Thor had to say.

He was surprised, he really was. He hadn’t expected Loki to do something like this; the boy was so innocent it was hard imagining him deceiving someone. He was harmless, Balder thought, Idunn could cause more destruction than Loki, but now …

What Thor was telling was – shocking.

It was horrible, yes, but there _had_ to be a reason. Loki couldn’t have harmed Thor, he would barely move him if he pushed!

“There is really only one reason for this”

Balder looked up from his brooding when Thor spoke. Having been silent so long after telling him his tale, Thor’s voice was slight jolt that Balder smoothed over to listen.

“Is there?”

“Aye” Thor looked at him, understanding and something else shining in his eyes “I know  of only one reason Loki would lie to me and deceive me.”

Balder stared at him the moment he went silent “Will you not tell me? Or do you wish to leave me in curiosity and suspense?”

Thor raised a brow to that.

“Byleistr” he was told “Loki might be afraid and be ill treated, but he is scared to death of his brother. it would be the perfect reason for him. Loki wouldn’t harm me, not deliberately, unless he had a death wish. And he doesn’t have a death wish because he was hiding a fact from me and that throws that explanation out of the window. That means he was protecting someone; someone who is willing enough and stupid enough to harm me. And since Loki knows no one here well enough to protect…”

“You are assuming all this” Balder said “It’s all conjecture at this point, nothing solid”

“I will ask him” Thor looked at his brother “flat out, when he is himself again, I shall ask him. He needs to know that I am his husband, I have import over everyone else”

“I wonder how people came to believe you are arrogant”

Thor slit his eyes at him “Focus, brother.”

“I am focused” Balder said “which is why I am pointing out the fact that Loki chose his brother over you.

He has done it before, I am sure so what makes you believe he will tell you anything that will harm Byleistr?”

Thor thought about it and smiled a little “He will discover the true nature of his brother. He doesn’t know Byleistr meets with Helbindi; we will make him see”

“And how do you propose we do that?” Balder asked “in case you forget, the man is a baby.”

“I know that” Thor all but snapped “which is why we will make sure Byleistr doesn’t go to Helbindi until after Loki is an adult again”

“And _how_ do you plan on doing that?” Balder asked.

Thor bit his cheek before slowly looking up at his brother, leaving no doubt about his idea.

Balder stared “No, absolutely not. I will not be dragged into your silly games!”

“It’s not silly” Thor said, turning to him “It’s brilliant”

“You, brother” Balder stepped back “do not know the meaning of the word.”

The back of Balder’s heel hit the dividing lane between grass and flowers and he stumbled back, ready to fall on Frigga’s beloved flowers and crush them.

He gasped when Thor grabbed the front of his tunic, halting his fall.

Balder looked at him when he didn’t pull him back, instead leaving him in the precarious position of imbalance.

“Help me” Thor grinned “or I release you and tell mother you destroyed her flowers”

Balder gaped “You sneaky little…”

“Uh uh uh” Thor grinned “make your choice”

Balder slit his eyes at him “Fine, I’ll help”

Thor pulled him back and set him on his feet, dusting is clothes off for good measure.

“Excellent” Thor said “so you will find a way to stall the elder brother while I enjoy myself”

“Bite me, Thor” Balder said, shoving him off and walking away.

“What?” Thor called after him.

“Ask your friend Stark what that means the next time you go to Midgard” Balder said “I have stalling to do”

Thor smiled and shook his head as his brother walked off.

He felt lighter of heart even though Balder hadn’t said a word.

***

“You said he would be awake” Thor almost whined when he looked upon the tiny, sleeping Loki before him.

He was dressed in a casual black tunic and trousers, easy enough to move in and comfortable for the baby, and stood with his hands crossed at his chest.

His blue eyes were fixed on Loki as he lay sleeping between two pillows, his tiny chest moving up and down steadily, as he breathed. His thumb was in his mouth and sucked on it occasionally, kicking his leg in peaceful slumber. Beside him, Odin lay reading a thick tome on elves and their magic.

“I know I did” Frigga said, walking around and lifting a few outfits she had sewed for the babe “but the prince seemed to have other plans”

“Cant I just wake him?” Thor asked “it’s almost dinner time and he needs to be fed”

“Don’t you dare touch him” Odin glared at his son “he needs his rest”

Frigga chuckled “your father had grown a soft spot for him. He laid reading to him till Loki fell asleep then sat by him as a guard. It reminded me so much of how he was with you and Balder.”

Odin sighed “We missed a babe and Loki has been a nice change”

Frigga chuckled and handed Thor the clothes while looking at her husband.

“Aye” she said “the large eyes they stare at you with”

“The noises they make” Odin added

“And the games they played” Frigga almost squealed and turned to Thor “When are you having an heir?”

Thor make a choked noise “What?! Are you serious!? I _just_ wed!”

“So?” Frigga asked

Thor stared at his parents, one after the other and realized he wasn’t ready for this coversation.

“I should take him …” Thor put his clothes under his arm and walked towards his sleeping husband “back”

“Touch him and I will end you” Odin rasped.

Thor blinked and stopped, raising his hands to show he meant no harm.

“He’ll wake soon” Frigga said, taking Thor’s arm “come along, I wish to show you the outfits I had picked for _you_.”

Thor let himself be led out and grinned in relief when he saw Balder enter.

His brother smiled at them both and walked forward “Greetings, parent, sibling”

“How are you?” Frigga smiled, letting him kiss his cheek.

Thor growled when Balder messed up his hair and tried to hit him as he pulled away.

“So” Balder said “What were you upto?”

Frigga gave him a dry glare “Work on your expressions, son. He’s inside with your father”

Balder grinned and all but skipped into the room they had just left.

Thor looked at the door, then his mother “You didn’t tell him not to touch Loki”

“I’m sure your father will”

Thor looked over his shoulder, giving his brother a sympathetic smile before turning back to see what his mother had for him.

“Black?” he asked when she lifted a black, silk shirt for him “am I in mourning?”

“Of course not” Frigga snapped “I find that black would rather suit you. I have your blues and reds just in case, though”

Thor hummed and felt the material, felt the smoothness that only highly expensive materials possessed.

“When do you even shop for these?” he asked, picking up another

 Frigga shrugged a shoulder “Do you think I just sit at home and embroider? I go to other realms, Thor”

Thor smirked  “Is that where you got these? Other realms?”

“Nay” she said “I got these from the market below”

Thor shook his head and lifted the other, placing them under his arm with Loki’s new clothes and walked to the door.

“I’ll return in a moment, then”

“Don’t take too long” Frigga said “we are about to have dinner, dear”

“Yes, Ma’am” Thor closed the door behind him and walked into the hall.

Frigga went to the ribbon to summon the maid and ask her to set the table, then went back to the bedroom to check on Loki.

She smiled when she saw Balder lying on his side next to Loki, waving his fingers above the baby’s head as he tried to catch them.

“Someone’s awake” she said, walking over

“He woke but a moment ago” Balder said, clicking his tongue to get Loki’s attention “He’s adorable”

Loki hiccupped and startled when Balder laughed at him. Then he put a hand in his mouth and reached for Balder’s cape as it swung over, turning his little body to the side for access and pulled it back.

Balder laughed and placed a hand around him protectively and leaned over him “Greetings, little prince. You like me, don’t you?”

Loki, watching the cape in his hands, didn’t reply. His green eyes studied it a moment before it was decided that it needed to be tasted.

Odin sniggered as Loki took out his hand and placed the cape in his mouth, cooing at the material.

“How long will he stay like this?” Balder asked.

“A few days” Frigga said, going to sit beside Odin “he remembers, though. He remembers every single one of us and he retains his memories; they are just in his infant mind at the moment.”

“I see” Balder looked down at Loki and smiled at him “Do you want to eat my tunic?”

Loki blinked and made a questioning noise.

Balder chuckled “May I hold him?”

“Of course” Frigga said, stroking Odin’s beard and looking into his eyes “just be careful”

Odin smiled at her and Balder’s eyes widened.

“For Valhalla’s sake, there is a child in the room!” he lifted Loki gently into his arms as his parents blushed and averted their gazes “Shame on you”

They didn’t feel ashamed; they were both grinning and Balder shook his head as he carried Loki out.

Once outside, Balder shuddered when he heard his mother give a squealed heard Odin’s chuckle after.

He looked down at Loki.

“He told her a joke” Balder said, holding him in the crook of one arm and waving a finger at him “just a joke”

Loki blinked at him a moment before a toothless grin came over his face and he giggled.

Balder couldn’t keep a straight face and lifted Loki before his face, looking at him.

Loki stared at him a moment before he reached out to tug on Balder’s hair, kicking his chubby legs and making soft noises.

“Do you like it?” Balder asked, then pulled Loki back before it hurt “Well, you can’t have it”

Loki hiccupped and looked at him with large emerald eyes before whining and giggling, kicking his feet.

Balder laughed and gently threw him up before catching him, extracting a high pitched squeal of laughter from the tiny prince.

“Oh, you liked that?” Balder laughed, throwing him up again.

Loki screeched in laughter when Balder caught him again then looked at him, expectantly, bucking his body when Balder didn’t do it again.

Balder grinned at him “You want more? You little devil, you want more?”

Loki laughed shrilly when Balder began to nuzzle his stomach, making him laugh and kick and squirm.

“Oh, you are so adorable, yes you are!” Balder kissed his cheek “I could just eat you up!”

Loki shrieked and clapped his hands before slapping Balder’s cheeks.

Balder blinked a few times, then pulled Loki away and cradled him in his arms again.

Loki gave him a small grin and bucked himself, trying to get Balder to throw him up again. When he didn’t, the babe hummed and began to suck his thumb, using his free hand to feel Balder’s tunic, tugging it every now and then before going back to feeling it.

Balder smiled at his antics, brushed some of his raven hair back and went to sit on a nearby couch, smiling at the maids that entered to set the table.

He knew they wouldn’t tell so when Loki raised his head to see the activity, Balder helped him into a reclining position and let him watch as he sucked his thumb.

His green eyes followed the maids and he managed a smirk with the thumb in his mouth, making the girl laugh and nudge the other. They waved at Loki and Loki blinked back at them, tilting his head to the side a little.

They all startled when the doors opened and Thor came in, panting.

He saw the maids, then his blue eyes searched the room until he found what he was looking for.

“Loki!” Thor beamed and walked over.

Loki screamed in delight, squirming in Balder’s arms, jumping and bucking and reaching out to Thor, a huge grin pasted on his face.

“Oh there you are, darling!” Thor came over and lifted the babe hugging him to his chest “I missed you!”

Loki laughed and looked up at him, stretching himself to grab Thor’s hair and latch on. When Thor pulled him up helpfully, he put the golden locks in his mouth and stared at Thor with large eyes.

Balder watched the exchange and smiled softly when he realized something his brother probably didn’t even know about.

Thor was in love.

***

“Thor, you cannot give an infant that” Frigga scolded.

“Why not?” Thor asked, stopping “it’s food”

“There is a difference between actual food and pop tarts, brother” Balder told him “besides, he doesn’t have teeth”

They were sitting in the common area again, dinner had long since been over and now they sat watching Loki, taking turns holding him and playing with him.

Odin used his rank to his advantage and had Loki in his lap at the moment while Thor tried to feed him pop tarts.

It wouldn’t have succeeded even if his mother hadn’t intervened because Loki took one sniff of the stuff and turned his head away with a disgusted noise.

Balder laughed and pointed to Thor while Frigga shook her head.

Thor made a face, popped the food in his mouth and reached out to take Loki in his arms, settling him against his shoulder.

“I should get this one to bed, then” 

Frigga gave a sarcastic laugh “Good luck with that, my child, he slept all day. I think you are going to a sleepless night”

“Nonsense” Thor scoffed, rubbing Loki’s back “he’s a baby. All they do is sleep”

A squelching noise filled the room and Loki laughed.

Thor made a disgusted face as he patted Loki’s bottom to make sure.

“Why does he do that?”

Balder gave him a dry look “Why do you do it?”

Loki strained on Thor’s shoulder and more disgusting noises rose from the babe. Thor grimaced and pulled the child off his shoulder, holding him at arm’s length as the stink hit him.

Loki kicked and cooed, putting a hand over Thor’s and reaching out with the other.

“You are disgusting” Thor told him

Loki blinked at him innocently before straining his arms ahead, wanting Thor to hold him to his shoulder again.

Sighing, Thor did as he was asked “Good night”

“Good luck” Odin said, gently hitting Thor’s side as he left and waving to Loki.

Balder blew a kiss at the child and Frigga waved her fingers as Thor closed the door.

“So,” Odin said, sitting up “How much are we betting, then?”

“I told you mine” Balder said “Three hours before he returns”

“I said one” Frigga said, placing her money on the table

Odin added his “I would give him an hour past midnight”

“I hate you all!” Thor called from the opposite side of the door.

“Go away!” Odin called “this in none of your business!”

“Bite me!”

Balder barked in laughter and shook his head, counting the money before resting it over his parents’ “I change by bet. He will stick it out all night”

“Alright” Odin said, collecting everything “but you cannot change it again”

“I will not” Balder smiled and leaned back in his couch “but neither can you”

His parents scoffed 

“Please” Frigga said “Thor knows nothing of handling a child”

“That is right” Balder chuckled “but he has never backed down from anything, either”

Odin looked up, smile gone.

Balder stood “Well, then, I bid you good night”

He came over to kiss Frigga’s cheek “I’ll collect my winnings tomorrow”

“We shall see” Frigga smiled, stroking his arm as he went.

“Good night, old man” Balder ruffled Odin’s hair, leaping aside when his father swatted at him, laughing “You need to be better than that”

Odin grumbled something, smiling at him as he left them both alone.

His gaze went to Frigga as he pocketed the money. He froze when she gave him a suggestive wink and stood, swaying her hips as she went into the bedroom.

Odin looked around and stood, almost stumbling in his haste to get to his wife and banging the door shut behind him.

***

The moment Thor entered their chambers, Loki lifted his head from his large shoulder and began to look around, making soft, pleased noises as his large husband carried him inside. He rested his tiny hands on Thor’s neck and chest and levered himself off, taking in every single thing. He made noises on occasion, twisting his little body so that he could see everything else.

Thor was enchanted by him as he carried him to the bathing room.

“I love watching how you take in everything” Thor told him as he laid down a towel on the counter before placing Loki on it “but I need to clean you before I faint from this ungodly stench”

Having brought many, many thick cloths to use, Thor placed them next to his feet at the counter and lifted one out, turned on the water before he looked at Loki.

Loki looked at him and grabbed both his tiny feet in his hands and began to rock from side to side, his face happy.

“Yes, I would be happy if someone cleaned my mess up, too” Thor began to undress the child, placing his dirty clothes aside and looking at the cloth Loki wore, making a face when he saw a disgusting bulge there.

It promised him punishment and Thor shook his head as he slowly unwrapped it.

He gasped and choked, turning his head aside at the horrible stench.

“Norns be damned!” he growled, placing the back of a hand over his mouth and nose “how can you do _that_ to normal food?”

Loki watched him carefully, his emerald eyes going from Thor’s face to his hair. He blinked slowly.

“A bath, then” Thor smiled and turned off the sink.

Collecting the soiled cloth, he held it away from him like a dangerous weapon, picked Loki up in one arm and carried it to the nearest bin, slamming the lid shut when he threw it in before holding Loki before him and giving him a stern glance.

“No more surprises”

Loki smiled slowly and bucked, getting Thor to throw him in the air. But the man didn’t understand and gently went to place Loki back on the towel.

He pulled off his tunic and lifted the babe again before walking to the smaller tub in his bathroom, the one he assumed was for private, long baths, and started filling it with water. He wiped Loki’s rear and gently got in with Loki in his lap, waiting for the tub to fill.

Loki gave a small delighted laugh and splashed the water, throwing it on Thor.

Thor chuckled, knowing that Loki couldn’t swim, and kept a firm grip around his waist as the child played.

Loki shrieked and slammed his hands in the water, twisting around to look at Thor as he was held up.

He was so small, Thor realized, he couldn’t even sit on his own. That thought made Loki more important to him and he pulled him back, resting him on a folded, trouser clad leg and began to wash him.

Loki looked up, mouth parting in a soft gasp as Thor poured water on his hair, wetting it. His eyes went large and he kicked, looking at his husband as he was washed.

Thor hummed to him softly, washing his arms, smiling when Loki’s fingers grabbed his large hand. he washed his feet, then lifted Loki, clutching him in the crook of his arm upside down as he washed his soft behind.

He couldn’t resist kissing his freshly washed rear and Loki giggled when Thor’s whiskers tickled his sensitive cheeks.

Thor laughed loudly, made the babe face him and turned off the water.

Loki’s large eyes blinked at him and Thor tilted his head to the side, grinning when Loki did the same. He inclined it to the other side and Loki followed.

“You think you’re clever, do you not?” Thor asked Loki.

Loki kicked the water, splashing it about and extended his hands to Thor. Smiling when Thor obliged and rested him on his shoulder, Loki hummed in pleasure, grabbing a wet lock of Thor’s hair and putting it in his mouth.

Thor nuzzled his baby Loki and sighed in contentment.

He hadn’t been this relaxed in a long time.

***

Thor should have known better.

It was three hours past midnight and Thor was still pacing. His legs, feet and back hurt and his arms were numb as he held his washed and sweet smelling husband against his bare shoulder, rubbing his back, trying to get him to sleep.

Thor had the top of his hair pulled back in a band while the rest flowed freely down his shoulders,  the tips forever damp because Loki put them into his mouth. He could feel Loki’s cheek on his shoulder and he could feel the tiny hands opening and closing gently against his skin.

Loki refused to sleep.

His green eyes were wide open and Thor sighed when he felt Loki mouthing his shoulder.

He had been pacing for about four hours now and was _desperate_ to try and sleep.

But Loki wasn’t having it.

Every time Thor lifted him off his shoulder, Loki would whimper and hold onto his hair, refusing to budge.

He didn’t cry but he didn’t let Thor rest, either and at the moment, Thor was contemplating going insane.

His eyes were half closed, he was lazy from all the yawning and his entire body complained loudly. The soft cotton clothes Loki wore lulled his skin and Thor thought about falling asleep where he was, but Loki would coo and squirm when he stopped rubbing.

“Loki” Thor groaned “go to sleep”

Loki hummed and continued to mouth at Thor’s skin, hands fisting and un-fisting against Thor’s shoulder.

Thor eyed the bed and moved to it, thinking about setting Loki down, but changing his mind.

He sat on in with a groan, feeling some reprieve and giving a thankful gasp when Loki didn’t budge. He pulled his feet up, exhaling in comfort and slowly lay back against the pillows. The arm supporting Loki gently moved the child to his massive chest and fell to his side while the other rested protectively on Loki’s back; making sure he wouldn’t fall.

“Loki” Thor sighed as he felt his eyes drooping “sleep”

“Ah?” Loki asked, raising his tiny head to look at Thor.

“Sleep” Thor breathed and his head fell to the side,

He snored a moment later.

Thor’s face relaxed into a calm expression as long needed sleep took him over, healing him like a balm, soothing his frazzled nerves.

Loki screamed and began to wail.

“I’m awake!” Thor sat up, looking down at the crying baby in his arms.

Loki’s face was scrunched up and red as his mouth opened on an impressive scream as tears fell from his tightly shut eyes. His hands were fisted in anger.

“I’m sorry!” Thor held him to his shoulder and leapt to his feet “I’m so sorry, Loki!”

Loki scrunched his body up, crying so loudly Thor was amazed the army wasn’t alerted.

“No, Loki, please don’t cry” Thor pleaded, gently jogging the baby on his shoulder, trying to soothe him “Oh, sweetheart, don’t cry”

But Loki was angry and he wanted Thor to know so he didn’t stop.

He kept wailing, screeching, pulling Thor’s hair and shrieking in rage, kicking Thor and being as inconsolable as he could be.

And Thor pleaded and begged him, rocked him, cradled him, tried to calm him and when he felt tears prickle behind his own eyes, there was a knock on the door.

Loki screamed louder, tensing his entire form and choking before taking in a huge breath and starting all over again.

Thor held him to his chest and opened the door with the other hand.

Bragi stared at him, eyebrow raised “Do I owe you a congratulations?”

Thor glared at him “This is _not_ a good time”

Bragi studied the tired Thor and the screaming, wailing baby in his arms.

“I assume that’s Loki?”

“What do you want?”  
“Absolutely nothing” Bragi walked in, ignoring Thor’s angry growl “but now I think I might want to help”

“I don’t need your assistance” Thor spoke over Loki’s wailing.

Bragi raised an eyebrow “Really?”

Thor scowled “He was fine a moment ago, I don’t know what happened!”

Bragi held back his mirth and extended his arms “Give him to me”

Thor slit his gaze.

“Trust me” Bragi said “in this. I know how to handle a baby”

Thor meant to refuse and ask him to leave, but Loki hollered at the top of his lungs, fisting his hands tightly and aching his back in anger.

He was a menacing thing.

“Fine” Thor said, gesturing to Loki “but I will be watching.”

Bragi nodded and came forward to take Loki from Thor’s arms.

“Loki…” Bragi said over the screaming “Loki!”

Loki jerked to a stop, startled, staring at Bragi’s face with wide eyes.

“That’s enough” Bragi told him, wiping tears off his tiny cheeks “your husband needs to rest, so behave”

Loki hiccupped and whimpered.

“He’s hungry” Bragi said, looking at Thor “when did you feed him last?”

“A moment ago” Thor growled “when he devoured my soul”

Bragi gave his half brother a wide eyed stare “You need to sleep, man”

Thor slit his gaze “Not while he is with you”

Bragi scowled “I know you do not think much of me, Odinson, but know that I have never nor will I ever harm a defenseless child.”

Thor flushed in shame and lowered his gaze, feeling guilty.

“Forgive, I’m just tired”

Bragi exhaled and looked at the tear stained face of the babe he held.

“I will get him some warm milk.” Bragi said “that helps children sleep. And perhaps a little walk will soothe him”

Loki hiccupped.

“Come along” Bragi said “the sooner we put him to sleep, the better”

Thor nodded and walked, barefoot and without a tunic, after his half brother as Bragi led him to the kitchens.

Loki was whimpering but he didn’t cry and his eyes were fixed on Bragi’s golden gaze as he was carried into the cool night air. His emerald eyes took in the ceiling, the lights, the man walking behind him, everything.

The kitchens were thankfully empty and Thor was far too relieved. Bragi gave him a sympathetic look and balanced Loki on one arm as he used the other to take some fresh milk from the ice room and heated it over a dying fire.

It didn’t take long, so when it was the right temperature, Bragi poured it into a glass and went to sit on a bench, placing Loki carefully in his lap.

“Alright” Bragi told Loki “don’t spill, drink it like a good little mage”

Loki looked up at him, then at the glass Bragi hovered before him. When he reached for it, Bragi pulled back and returned it only when Loki placed his hands in his lap.

Gently, carefully, Bragi rested the rim of the glass against Loki’s lips and waited. Unsure, Loki hesitated before sucking the milk in, then his eyes widened and he started to go faster, stopping when Bragi pulled away and staring at the milk.

“Without a bottle” Bragi told Thor as he watched Loki, giving him the milk slowly again “you let a child sip it. It takes time, but at least he’ll have it”

Thor, who was leaning back against the wall, ankles crossed, looked at him “How do you know this?”

Bragi smiled “It’s sad how little you know about me even as you insist on hating me”

Thor frowned “What are you talking about?”

Bragi’s scowl, something forever stamped on his face, vanished and for a moment Thor saw pain across his features.

“I had a family, Thor” Bragi said as he fed Loki “a little girl and a wife”

Thor gaped in disbelief.

“They left me” Bragi said, smiling and wiping Loki’s mouth with a thumb.

Something stirred in Thor and he fought against himself to say something, things started to make sense now.

Why Bragi had attacked him that night, why he had told Loki he deserved better. 

Bragi had been reminded of his family.

“Bragi…” Thor said

“He’s had enough” Bragi suddenly stood and held Loki to his shoulder, placing the half drunk milk on the table nearest to him “He needs to be patted like this”

Bragi began to gently swat Loki’s back until he heard a soft burp. He smiled and pulled Loki away, looking into his eyes.

“Now sleep” Bragi told him “Thor is already slow in the head he doesn’t need lack of sleep”

Loki smirked, then grinned and bucked his body before he laughed.

Bragi gave him a soft smile and kissed his forehead “You need to work on your argument, little prince”

Loki giggled, then let out a long ‘ooh’ when Bragi swung him over to Thor.

“Here” Bragi handed Thor his husband “he will sleep now. Set him against your skin; it will soothe him”

Thor took Loki and cradled him in his arms, smiling down at him before looking at Bragi as he left.

“Bragi, wait!”

“Leave me be, Thor” Bragi said “I need my sleep as well and that wailing will never ease the process”

Thor bit his lip and followed “I merely had a suggestion”

Bragi turned with an exasperated look “What?”

Thor hesitated “He might wake again – I don’t think I can take it”

It took Bragi a moment to realize what Thor wanted.

“No”

“Please!” Thor almost whined “just for tonight! I am living in _fear_ at the thought of him screaming and crying again!”

Bragi gave Thor a good glare “Listen well, Odinson, no force in Valhalla or Hel will get me to play nurse to your husband.”

***

“I hate you, Thor” Bragi muttered as he paced around Thor’s bed chambers, holding a wide awake Loki in his arms as he rocked him.

Thor’s reply was a loud snore.

***   

Morning was a surprise to Thor.

It wasn’t the lateness of the hour that shocked him or the frantic knocking on his door or the tiny hand slapping his chest or the horrid stench that filled the room.

It was the large form next to his that snored like the devil that had Thor staring.

“Bragi!?”

Bragi didn’t stir and Thor opened his mouth to call out when Loki made a noise, looking at him with large eyes as he crawled forward into Thor’s lap. The smell hit Thor the same time the knocking got louder.

“Thor!” Balder called “open the door, are you dead!?”

Bragi groaned “Five more minutes…”

Thor stared at the door, at Loki, then rubbed his face and got out of bed, holding Loki under his arm as he padded downstairs.

Balder’s knocking stopped when Thor pulled the door open and his brother all but fell in.

“What!?” Thor snapped.

Balder took one look at Loki, at Thor’s haggard face and grinned. He raised his hand with a small sack of money held in it.

“Do you wish to go shopping?”

Thor slammed the door shut.

“Another time, then”

Growling, Thor rubbed his face and looked at Loki before he shook his head at the way the child grinned at him.

“Bragi…” Thor groaned, settling Loki on the bed “wake up”

Bragi turned on his side and Loki crawled over to smack him.

Smiling and approving it, Thor went to the washroom to freshen up, emerging a few moments later so see Loki trapped under Bragi’s thick arm and the bed.

“Loki!” Thor yelled and leapt forward.

Bragi gave a startled yell and sat up and Loki began to cry.

“Oh no, no darling” Thor lifted Loki in his arms and hugged him “I’m right here, sweetheart, see?”

Loki wailed louder, kicking and turning his face red.

“I’m sorry” Thor swayed him, glaring at Bragi “you idiot”

Bragi glared back “Forgive me, but _someone_ kept me up all night!”

Thor snarled at him wordlessly and carried Loki to the washroom.

“There, there, darling, do you want to have a bath?” he asked the wailing infant.

Loki reply was a screeching scream and Bragi winced when Thor closed the door. He could still hear him crying and he marveled at how Thor wasn’t deaf yet.

Then it stopped abruptly and Bragi smirked.

His brother was learning.

Standing and shaking his head when he heard Loki laugh and play in the water, Bragi made his way out, going to his room where he would finally get a few hours of rest.

***

Balder was practically beaming when he got a chance to spend a few hour with the baby.

He decided to take him in the private gardens, lifting him high to touch trees and throwing him in the air to catch, spinning till Loki screamed in laughter and falling to the ground, setting the babe on his chest.

He panted, lying under Loki as the other watched him with impossibly large eyes, hitting his chest with tiny hands and demanding him to move.

Balder raised a hand to Loki’s head, stroking his hair as a wave of sadness came upon him.

He could never have this.

The fates had crippled him so that the one thing he craved for was something he couldn’t have. This is was the closest he would get to a child; by borrowing them from Thor.

Thor, who had everything.

Balder didn’t resent his brother, he never could. But, he thought in his state of melancholy, he wished that fates had given him a chance.

Loki called him, slapping his chest and bouncing to make him move and Balder laughed.

“As you wish” Balder said, steadying Loki as he sat up, then lifted him into his arms and took him towards the thickset trees.

Loki snickered as Balder began to tickle him, then his eyes went wide when he saw an orange hanging from an overhead branch. Immediately, he reached out his tiny hands for it and Balder laughed.

“Oh, I see” Balder hefted him in his hands, held him tightly around the waist and lifted him high above him so he could have the fruit.

But at that moment, everything went wrong.

Loki’s hand was a millimeter away from the fruit when a bright blue light enveloped him, becoming blinding the next instant.

Balder gave a loud gasp and pulled him back, losing his balance when Loki suddenly weighed far more than a child.

Sounds of clothes ripping were loud in the area as Balder fell, Loki under him.

The blinding light faded away and Balder blinked, levering himself off the tiny body he knew was there.

The fear in his eyes went into shock when he saw a fully grown Loki lying under him, staring up at him in confusion. 

A moment later, confusion turned to horror and Loki gasped, shoving Balder away and scrambling backwards, fear all over him.

He was completely naked and struggled to cover himself with his hands, eyes large and terrified. He felt so _vulnerable_ that tears filled his eyes and he looked away in shame.

“Please…” he breathed “go away”

Balder watched him a moment and thanked the Norns no one was there. He stood to take off his cape and approached Loki.

Loki gasped and curled himself into a shaking ball, whimpering as his face turned red in shame and horror “Leave me alone…”

“Easy, Loki” Balder laid the cape over him “I will not harm you”

But Loki didn’t look at him, Loki didn’t speak, so Balder turned and walked to a safe distance as Loki tried to compose himself.

He could hear his whimpers and cries and all he could think of was one thing and one thing alone.

Loki was _beautiful_.

***

He lifted his head when he heard a familiar rumble approach him.

His green eyes were filled with tears of humiliation and he was mortified. He held the cape around him tightly, he curled his body as he lay on his side trying in vain to stop his shaking and he bit his lip to keep from whimpering.

When he looked up, tears fell down his high cheekbones.

“Oh, Loki…” Thor sat on his knees before his husband.

Loki gave a loud sob as Thor pulled him into his arms and held him close, letting him burrow into his warmth.

“I’m so sorry” Thor whispered, feeling Loki nuzzle against his throat “I’m _so_ sorry”

Loki just clung to him, eyes screwed shut as he tried to forget this.

And he had been having such a good time.

“Do you want me to take you back?” Thor asked him softly.

Loki nodded and held onto his husband’s shoulder as Thor carried him like he weighed nothing. He flinched when they passed Balder and hid his face again, feeling exposed and open.

He pulled the cape tighter

He hated the feeling.

***

That night, as Loki lay on his side trying to get his heart to slow down, Thor came up from behind and gently turned him on his back, smiling.

“I realized something” Thor said “actually, I realized two things”

“What?” Loki whispered, moving closer and fingering the front of Thor’s collar.

“One” Thor said, massaging the hand at his collar “is that you are a terrifying infant and I wish our children take after me”

Loki chuckled and shifted closer “That’s a mean thing to say. What’s the other?”

Thor kissed his head, temple and ear.

“I think I might be falling in love with you”


	13. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki makes a mistake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Painful incident involving intimacy ahead

“I think I might be falling in love with you”

Loki froze then, eyes going wide a moment before he panicked.

Thor expected many things, he didn’t think he would get a similar declaration, but when Loki suddenly pushed at him and scrambled off the bed, Thor realized it was the last thing he expected.

“Loki?” he stared, frowning “What’s wrong?”

“No” Loki said, going to put on his night robe “No, no, you can’t say that to me, Thor, you can’t”

Thor gaped at him and moved only when he realized that Loki intended on leaving.

“Loki, wait!” he ran over and caught Loki’s arm, pulling him back when he tried to shake him off “Loki, stop!”

“I can’t!” Loki gasped and struggled, pulling with all his might when Thor put his arms around his waist and pulled him back against his chest “Thor, please, I can’t …”

Loki broke off, gasping as Thor spun him around and slammed their mouths together in a hard, passionate kiss.

Thor held him close, one hand behind his neck while the other looped around his waist, holding him close, pressing them chest to chest so that their hearts beat as one.

Loki gasped when Thor pulled away and stared up at him with uncertain eyes.

“Do not” Thor rasped “run from me again, Loki”

Loki looked up at him, heart beating his hands clenched and unclenched, trapped, between them.

“You do not know what I have done, Thor” Loki whispered “You do not know what I have done”

Thor smiled and cupped his cheek “I do. And I know why you did it”

Alarm lit Loki’s eyes “No, you don’t”

“Yes, I do” Thor brushed his hair back “I know that you hexed me into forgetting, I know you wanted to keep your brother safe and…” he smiled “I know you let those Jotuns into my coronation”

Loki stared at him, terrified “Let me go”

“There really is only one mage in Jotunhiem powerful enough to do that and I got him” Thor smiled “it was not hard to figure out it was you, Loki”

Loki pulled but when Thor merely tightened his hold, he started to struggle.

“Please” he gasped “please let me go, I …”

Loki whimpered when Thor’s hand fisted in his hair and made him look up, made him stare into those eyes and he wondered what went on behind them.

“I will not hurt you, Loki” Thor whispered “I will never hurt you. I need you to believe me”

Loki shook his head “You cannot know this and still mean those words. You intend to hurt me, I know you do”

Thor gave him a soft look and suddenly let him go. Loki stumbled back, away from Thor until he pressed up against the wall and could go no further.

Thor waved him ahead “Go, then. Run, go wherever you want; I will neither follow you nor ask you to return. If leaving is truly your wish, then leave. Go home with your brother, if that is what you want. But know that I will not hurt you”

“Why are you doing this?” Loki hissed “How can you be so cruel?”

Thor raised a brow “I keep you here and I hurt you. I let you go and I am cruel. Tell me what you want from me, Loki”

“I want you to tell me why!” Loki almost yelled “Why are you doing this? Why are you letting me go free and not hurting me even when I have harmed you so much? Why am I still alive? Why do you not hurt me when you have power over me? I lied to you, I cursed you, why are you doing this!?”

Thor looked at him with unending patience.

“I just told you” Thor said softly “you’ve come to mean so much to me. I can’t let the past take you away.”

Unable to take anymore, Loki spun around, running down the stairs, taking two at a time before he leapt to the floor and headed straight for the doors.

Thor watched him go, watched his retreating back vanish into the lobby.

And even though he waited for it, he expected it and he knew it would happen…

Thor closed his eyes in pain when Loki slammed the doors shut.

And Loki – 

Loki made it as far as it took him to open the doors.

He slammed them shut and bit his lip, looking over his shoulder at the man he was married to.

He swallowed uncertainly, his eyes shining as he slowly turned, hand still on the door and looked back to where Thor was probably waiting.

Barefoot, he didn’t make a sound as he silently walked back, looking up at the top of the stairs for his stupid husband.

Loki’s lips curved into a smile when he saw Thor standing right there, eyes closed. His hands were fisted in pain and at that moment, Loki knew that this big idiot believed every word he had said.

He didn’t make a sound, he didn’t move, he waited for Thor to open those eyes because he wanted to see something in them, something he never thought someone like him would be able to get, something he didn’t think himself worthy of.

Then Thor took a deep breath - and Loki’s heart seemed to halt – and opened his eyes.

He blinked a few times, making sure he wasn’t mistaken but when Loki grinned at him, Thor knew.

Thor’s smile was beautiful as he ran to the stairs and Loki moved to meet him halfway.

They met in the middle, arms going around each other, lips meeting in a heated kiss, gasping as their breath caught up with them.

Loki’s eyes screwed shut as he tightened his arms around his husband’s neck and Thor pulled him closer as though trying to meld them together.

Loki gasped when Thor broke off the kiss and began to mouth at his neck, he tipped his head back for more access, shivering and shutting his eyes at the pleasure he felt.

“When I found everything out” Thor said against his throat “I had a choice. I could either rage against you, damn you further and damn this marriage to Hel. I could give in to the anger and erect a wall between us, distancing us both…”

Loki shuddered when Thor kissed him again, sliding his tongue into his mouth to lick the palate. His hands twitched and Thor pulled back, looking at him with large, blue eyes.

“Or…” Thor kissed his forehead “I could let it go. Take you instead, give you everything I have because you have taken it from me anyway. You left nothing of the man you first met. I have no anger, no hurt, no _pain_ when I am with you. You chase it all away, you bring me peace, you heal my wounds you give me the life I never thought I could have again”

Thor sighed and placed his forehead against Loki’s.

“So here I stood at a choice” Thor said “to hold onto my anger and let you go. Or I could take you and let my anger go and Loki…”

Loki blinked when Thor looked into his eyes.

Thor smiled, distracted “I have to be so careful. One wrong word and it might crash down on me because I think the fates are devious enough to wish to see me drown.”

He stroked Loki’s cheek and cupped the back of his head “Loki, I choose you. No one else can heal me, Beloved, so I let everything go. Nothing matters – nothing but you”

Loki stared at him, unable to believe he was hearing this, unable to believe that someone this _beautiful_ was saying it to _him_.

He swallowed loudly, his eyes looking into Thor’s brilliant blue gems and he slowly placed a hand behind Thor’s head and brought him down for a kiss that seared them with passion.

***

Loki gasped as Thor fell on him as they landed on the bed, almost knocking the air out of him. He turned his head and kissed Thor, pulling on his hair, yanking him closer, clicking their teeth together, sighing loudly when Thor spread his knees apart and settled himself firmly on Loki, running his fingers up and down Loki’s arms as he was held so tightly.

“Relax” Thor gasped, kissing down Loki’s neck “we have all night, Beloved”

Loki gave a loud pant and let Thor kiss him at his own pace, arching up when Thor began to pull his clothes open and traced his lips down his chest, kissing every part of him, giving him so much pleasure he turned his head aside, desperate for air.

He didn’t deserve this, Loki realized, he didn’t deserve Thor and he didn’t deserve being treated like this – with so much love. He was useless and small and ugly, no one wanted him, even his brother got rid of him. And then Thor – Thor, the magnificent god – took him as his own and treated him as though he was something special, something cherished – something beautiful.

And he knew he wasn’t – so that was breaking his heart.

He wasn’t beautiful and he wasn’t worthy.

He wasn’t worth what Thor was giving up.

Loki closed his eyes and bit the back of his finger as his grief and regret broke over him.

Thor kissed back up his body, licked his neck and felt Loki withdraw. He looked up to see his lover crying, biting the back of his finger to keep Thor from knowing.

Leaning over, Thor kissed his cheek, letting his lips linger there.

“What’s wrong, Loki?”

Loki let loose a soft sob.

“Enough crying, darling” Thor kissed his hair “enough regret and enough guilt. This is what you should focus on, love. Me”

It only seemed to increase Loki’s pain and he sobbed once more, louder this time.

“Hush, Beloved” Thor kissed his jaw “let me give this to you, let me inside your life, Loki, open yourself to me”

Loki gave a soft gasp, reeling his sorrow in and turned to look at Thor from between damp lashes.

“Like you did once before” Thor wiped his tears away and looked into his eyes “My Loki … my Beloved”

Loki opened his mouth for Thor, letting the last of the tears slip off and groaned softly when Thor held him to his chest, kissing him with passion that burned them both.

“Let me please you” Thor gasped, kissing his jaw “let me show you what I said is true”

Loki raised his eyes to Thor’s face, his cheeks flushed with lust and grief alike. Without a word, he pulled him closer and watched as Thor’s lips descended upon his.

***

His eyes were shut, Thor noticed and he kept his head averted as though he couldn’t bear to see.

“Beloved” Thor called to him, gently pulling off the last of his clothes and tossed it aside “look at me”

Loki shuddered, the merely presence of this man enough to make his blood heat up.

“Look”

Slowly, Loki opened his eyes and looked at Thor through green slits.

Softly, Thor grabbed his wrist and placed his hand on his large shoulder “Here, grab me here”

He took his other hand and kissed his knuckles before he placed it on his chest “And here”

Loki gave a short gasp then he felt Thor’s rapidly beating heart.

“This is what you do to me” Thor said, sliding his own bare torso over his consort’s, letting their mouths meet in a kiss.

Loki closed his eyes in pleasure and moved Thor closer, deepening the kiss himself and feeling his heart race against Thor’s.

“You’re beautiful” Thor kissed him, his hand sliding over Loki’s arm to gently grabbed his wrist and giving it a loving squeeze before he slid it back and down Loki’s side, making him shudder.

“Let me love you”

Thor kissed him again and Loki responded, lifting himself a little because he knew Thor liked that.

Thor’s hands held him so tenderly, he realized. One was skating its fingers on Loki’s ribs and hips while the other was holding Loki’s arm as he held Thor close.

“Show me everything, Beloved” Thor slackened his jaw to kiss him deeper “I’ll make you feel good”

Loki whimpered and held on tighter, gently scratching Thor’s shoulder blades so that the man shuddered in pleasure.

“Th- Thor” he breathed 

It was so soft he barely heard it; but it seemed enough.

Kissing him again, moving their jaws open and closed together, Thor snaked a hand down to Loki’s need and began to stroke him.

Loki broke off the kiss with a gasp, mouth parted as he took in large gulps of air.

“It’s alright” Thor kissed his hair as he moved his hand a little faster, kneading him “I’m right here, hold on to me”

Tears slipped from Loki’s eyes and he gasped and panted because it was so _good_. He spread his legs further, face flushed because he was aroused and bashful and confused and unworthy.

It was a painful combination.

Thor moved closer, lying on his side and holding Loki to him, kissing him and swallowing his gasps and whimpers of pleasure.

“Thor…” Loki gasped, moving closer, one hand going to grab the sheets as Thor pleasured him with his hand, squeezing him, pumping him and dragging him so close to release that he could feel the heat it radiated.

“Right here” Thor kissed his mouth, then his cheek when Loki needed to breathe.

His hand pumped him faster, massaging him, giving him wave upon wave of exciting pleasure, kissing his ear, whispering promises to him.

“Thor…” Loki whispered, turning his tormented gaze to Thor’s blue eyes “I can’t ….”

He dug his heels into the mattress and arched his back, keening when it didn’t happen.

“Thor”

“It will happen” Thor promised, sliding an arm under Loki’s head and brushing his hair back with his fingers.

Loki fisted the sheets, dug his heels in and turned his head to Thor’s shoulder, mouth parted as he gasped and sighed loudly.

Thor kissed his mouth, lingering until Loki needed to breathe, then moved lower, holding Loki to him with free arm as the other kept on working.

He moved his lips lower, down his neck, his chest, kissing Loki’s stomach, licking over his hipbones.

“Stop…” Loki moaned, demanding the exact opposite.

“Oh, Beloved, you are ready” Thor twirled his fingers around him skimming the top with his nail because he knew it would end it.

Lok gasped and went taut, arching his back as his climax came over him, startling when Thor’s mouth landed on his and he released, soiling all of Thor’s front with his seed and holding onto him with one hand in those blonde locks while the other crumpled the sheets in a tight fist.

When he fell back from his high, he knew nothing other than the warm body over his and his own screaming heart.

***

When Thor moved off him, Loki felt exposed and instantly tried to pull the sheets up.

But Thor pulled them from his grip and looked at him slowly, lingering over his husband.

Loki made a soft noise and looked aside. His hands clenched beside his head as he was studied so carefully.

Loki was well built, slender and shapely with lean muscles and skin he wanted to taste.

“Stunning” Thor said and gripped Loki’s jaw gently, making him look at him “You don’t have to be ashamed, Beloved, this is more than I could have asked of you”

Loki blinked and realized Thor meant to stop.

His grief and insecurities aside, Loki had genuinely loved it, he wanted more.

He wanted Thor.

“No” he whispered, touching his husband’s jaw “I think … I can give more”

Smiling at how brave Loki was being, despite the fear he saw in his eyes, Thor touched Loki’s cheek “You don’t have to, darling, we can wait”

“No!” Loki gasped, pulling him closer, almost on top “We need to … do it. I need to”

Thor looked down at him, lust lighting his eyes “You…”

“Please” Loki cut in “take me”

And even though he was _terrified_ , shaking uncontrollably, he managed to force himself to spread his legs, inviting Thor.

He couldn’t really suppress the whimper that went through him when he saw the lust in Thor’s eyes but he turned it into a pleased gasp when Thor kissed him hard enough to lay him flat on the bed as he climbed on top of him.

***

It really wasn’t going to be bad, thought, everyone did it.

It was the most common thing in all the realms, Norns only knew how many people were going the same thing they were.

Well, almost the same. Loki was sure they were enjoying themselves rather than staring in fright at the man above them.

His eyes were focused on Thor’s face as he brought forward two lubricated fingers and knelt between Loki’s parted legs. He pressed one hand over Loki’s middle to hold him down and placed a kiss on his knee before he raised his eyes to Loki’s face.

“May I?” Thor asked, still unconvinced.

But Loki nodded and lifted his lips, licking his lips for good measure.

He saw Thor’s eyes move to his mouth and he parted his lips for the kiss he knew was coming. His hands went around Thor’s broad shoulders and he pressed himself up because _this_ was something he really enjoyed.

Loki groaned when Thor pulled his tongue into his mouth and started to suckle on it, the hand that held his weight off Loki fisted in the sheets as he controlled himself.

He pulled back, gave a soft kiss to Loki’s reddened lips and kissed the bridge of his nose “You don’t have to-“

“Please” Loki begged, nuzzling Thor’s throat “do it”

Thor lowered his head, settling his lips on Loki’s shoulder and touched his entrance.

Loki gave a gasp and tensed, tightening around Thor’s shoulders and hiding his face in his neck.

Thor chuckled “We can…”

“Go on” Loki forced himself to say “please”

Thor kissed his nape and nodded “As you wish, Beloved”

He pushed himself in till the tip, kissing Loki’s skin when he whimpered and tensed, his breath quickening.

Thor knew he had never been touched and proceeded carefully.

“Stop me if it hurts”

Loki nodded and moved his hips, urging him to go on.

Thor obeyed and soon his finger was buried to the hilt. He felt Loki clench around his invasion, getting used to it, trying to repel him but Loki gasped and leaned his head back, mouth open.

“Thor…”

Thor kissed his neck and gently moved the finger, smiling when Loki choked and moaned.

It felt good, Loki realized. He wanted more.

“Hurry” he gasped “Thor, I need you to hurry”

“In good time” Thor kissed his shoulder “I want you to enjoy it”

“I will…” Loki panted, lifting his hips up “I swear, I am…Ah!...Thor, please…”

Thor kissed him to silence him and crooked his finger and Loki cried out in his mouth, flushing in pleasure as he arched his back, lifting it clean off the bed.

Thor kept their mouths together as he slowly opened him, manipulated him enough that he wouldn’t hurt him.

He felt the slick sides close around him like velvet, pulling him in and letting him go before taking him in again. He felt Loki’s nails on his back and he felt his broken breath in his ear as Loki lay cheek to cheek with him, holding him to close their bodies were already perspiring. 

“More…” Loki panted, eyes filled with tears of ecstasy.

“Alright” 

Even though he was about to burst, Thor held himself back and pushed another finger inside.

This time Loki gave a sharp, broken cry and Thor froze.

“Did I …?”

“No” Loki said “it’s just a stretch, I didn’t expect it.”

It was already beginning to feel wonderful.

“Move” Loki ordered, kissing Thor and moaning when his order was carried out, slowly rocking his hips along with Thor’s hand.

“More…” Loki panted, looking at Thor pleadingly “I’m … I need …”

Thor kissed him, forcing him to lie back, sliding his free hand to lace his fingers with Loki’s and running his tongue in and out of his mouth as he moved within him.

Loki’s cries got louder and soon he tipped his head back because he couldn’t take anymore.

He needed Thor, now!

“Please…” he panted, hands slipping on Thor’s damp back “have me…please…”

Thor kissed him slowly, parted his fingers and rested his weight on Loki when he arched his back in pleasure, clawing at him and moaning loudly.

“Thor!”

“Alright…” Thor said, extracting his fingers “alright, I’ll give you what you want, Beloved”

Loki whined at the loss but groaned when Thor kissed him as he lubricated his length generously.

“Tell me…” Thor kissed down his neck, lingering over his heart, licking the skin and planting a soft kiss there “if you want it to stop”

“I …” Loki gasped, arching himself to that mouth “will”

He shuddered when Thor kissed down his stomach, running his hands down his sides before he kissed his knee and the inside of his thigh.

“Hand me a pillow” Thor said.

Loki pulled one from behind his head and gave it to Thor, anxious for him to hurry.

He wasn’t afraid anymore. He needed Thor inside him, he knew it was the only way to make everything better.

Lifting his hips, Thor placed the pillow underneath and looked to Loki for confirmation.

Loki fisted his hands in the sheets and nodded, closing his eyes when Thor moved to loom over him, placing his hands over Loki’s shoulders and grabbing onto the bedding.

“Now?”

Loki took a shuddering breath, he could _feel_ Thor’s heat even when he wasn’t inside.

“Quickly” Loki panted “just go. Now”

Thor lowered his head to Loki’s shoulder and took him in one swift stroke, propelled by his mighty strength.

And Loki screamed.

***

His voice broke under the pain and Loki felt like he was being torn in two. White hot, searing pain shot through him and his entire body tensed, trying to push Thor’s invasion out.

Thor was splitting him apart and the _pain_ that went through him was scouring him from the inside.

It _burned_ as it ripped him from his hips all the way up to his back and the inside of his thighs, it was _terrible_ and Loki screamed again.

“Thor!” Loki shrieked, pushing at him “Thor, stop!”

Thor froze in horror, looking down as Loki shoved at him, thrashing.

“Loki!” he paled when he saw the agonized expression on Loki’s face.

Loki heaved a loud, broken gasp “Get out! Please, Thor, get out!”

He began to thrash and he screamed again when it tore at him further.

“Thor!” Loki sobbed loudly, thrashing wildly, trying to get him to move “I can’t take it!”

“Loki, wait!” Thor grabbed his shoulders and forced him to still “Moving will hurt, calm down”

“It hurts!” Loki yelled, tears falling down his face “Please, Thor, it hurts…!”

“Alright” Thor told him, kissing his damp forehead, brushing back all the hair stuck there “I’m sorry”

Loki twitched and bucked under him, crying as he buried his face in the pillow.

“It hurts…” Loki whimpered “please…get out”

“I will” Thor said, kissing his cheek “but it will hurt you if I go too quickly”

Loki moaned in pain and loss, letting Thor grab his hands to kiss as he kept his face in the pillow, and place them on his shoulders.

“Scratch me if you must” Thor kissed his neck and began to pull out.

Loki tensed and let loose another sob, biting on the pillow to stop his voice because it _hurt_ so badly.

He shuddered with his sobs as they wracked his body and his nails dug deep into Thor’s skin till he felt it break. He took in sharp breaths, broken and shuddering and cried out when Thor left him.

Loki took a long breath, closing his eyes in relief as the searing turned to throbbing and turned a little to the side as Thor levered himself off.

And he started to cry.

Thor looked down at him and swallowed, unable to _think_ after what he had done, the kind of pain he had inflicted. When he looked down, he saw blood and went paper white.

“Norns” Thor watched as Loki sobbed behind his hands, tears leaking from his eyes and slipping down pain flushed cheeks.

“Loki…”

Loki opened his eyes, exhausted by the pain and agony he went through, panting slowly.

“I’m sorry” Loki looked up at him, weeping “I thought I could take it … but it hurt so much, I …”

Thor felt tears prick his own eyes and slowly moved so that he looked down at Loki as he lay shivering.

Slowly, he lay down beside him and pulled him into his arms as Loki kept on babbling and crying.

“I want you” Loki whimpered, shivering “I really do, but I … I’m so sorry”

“Don’t apologize” Thor choked, kissing his forehead, his cheeks, his eyes even as they let loose tears and his mouth as it kept whimpering, then his neck, his shoulders, until Loki managed to stop crying.

“I shouldn’t have done it” Thor said, holding him close “I should have known better”

Loki rested his flushed cheek on Thor’s shoulder and held him close, aware of the throbbing between his legs and lower back and thighs. 

He sniffed softly and raised his eyes, stilling in shock when he saw tears tracks running down Thor’s face.

Tentatively, he raised a hand and touched Thor’s cheek.

Startled, Thor looked down into emerald eyes.

“We…” Loki swallowed “we have a whole lifetime, Thor, we can go slowly”

Thor blinked and held him closer till they were chest to chest.

“That is” Loki said softly “unless you want a wailing baby in your arms again, making you cry”

Thor laughed before he broke down and Loki was ready.

When Thor lowered his head to Loki’s chest and began to weep, Loki held him tightly, stroking the back of his hair and whispering soft words to him, soothing him and calming him as Thor had done for him so many times before.

He didn’t realize when they fell asleep.

***

The morning was harsh to Loki.

He slept with Thor pasted to his back, holding him close, resting his large head on Loki’s shoulder.  
Loki realized he didn’t mind waking up like this; but he minded the pain that shot through him the moment he woke, jolting his abdomen and back and making him curl up.

And of course, Thor had to wake up.

“Loki!” Thor sat up, looking down at his husband as he moaned in pain.

“I’m fine” Loki gasped and brought his legs to his chest “it’s nothing”

“It’s not nothing” Thor pushed off the covers and ran to the washroom.

Loki lay panting, so he didn’t know how long Thor took, all he knew was his pain, but a few moments later, Thor walked over holding a large bowl and a small towel in his hands.

He sat on the bed, balanced the bowl in his lap and looked at Loki in askance.

“Do you want me to leave?” Thor asked

Loki shook his head “You do it…”

He blushed after that and buried his face in the mattress.

There was a sigh behind him and a moment later, he felt a soft touch to his knee. He flinched when Thor parted his legs.

He heard Thor’s sharp intake of breath and turned to look at him.

“Thor” Loki said firmly, despite his chagrin “not your fault. Now just do it”

“Loki, I …”

“I’ll cry again”

“Okay!” Thor’s eyes widened and he dipped the cloth in cold water while Loki realized he had a legitimate threat he could use.

He gasped when Thor placed the cool, wet cloth against his swollen entrance and closed his eyes, hissing when Thor pressed down a little.

Thor bit his lip in guilt when he pulled more blood from his action but said nothing. He dipped it on the water and squeezed before placing it back, soothing Loki when he whimpered.

“Easy, Beloved” Thor said thickly “it will be better”

Loki hummed and pulled at the sheets with his teeth when Thor pressed a little harder. It stung badly, but it wasn’t a searing pain and Loki was thankful for that small mercy.

“It will help if you pretend this isn’t happening” Thor said

Loki looked at the wall ahead of him and let the sheet go.

“I loved tormenting you as a baby”

Thor blinked before he realized what Loki said “I knew it”

He placed the towel in water again, squeezing before reapplying.

Loki winced “I remember it all, you know, especially when you were begging me to stop crying”

“The most daunting thing I will ever face” Thor said “I was a warrior once, now I have no identity other than the man that is afraid of an infant”

Loki chuckled “It was highly entertaining. And did you choose clothes for me?”

“Aye” Thor said, placing the compress back on Loki “Green, all of them because they bring out your eyes”

Loki smiled and looked at him “You give the best compliments”

He lowered his head on the bed “No wonder everyone loves you”

Thor looked up at the melancholy tone “Loki, I mean what I say”

Loki shook his head “You think you do, that’s what makes them genuine even if they are lies”

Thor frowned and leaned over, careful not to jolt him and tipping his head towards himself.

“What’s wrong?”

Loki gave him a sad smile and took his hand, cradling it against his lips before he kissed his knuckles.

“Nothing is wrong” Loki told him simply “I’m well, Thor”

Clearly, Thor didn’t believe him

But there was little else he could say at the moment and he wanted the mood to remain light.

“Why didn’t you torment Bragi or Balder?”

Loki grinned slowly, “Balder threw me in the air and I loved it. And Bragi was …”

Thor frowned when Loki broke off “Was what?”

“I don’t know” Loki said “he looked so _happy_ , just holding a child that it didn’t even occur to me to say anything. And he was feeding me, which was more than I can say for you”

“You scared the life out of me, Loki” Thor said, pulling back.

The swelling had gone down and thankfully there was no more blood but Loki still looked uncomfortable.

“Loki,” Thor sat back “I think you should remain in bed today”

Loki smiled at him “I think I agree with you”

Loki pulled a pillow under his head and rested it down. Thor watched him and felt a hundred times guiltier. With a sigh, he picked up the bowl of water and the towel and took it back to the washroom.

He spilled the water down the drain and squeezed the towel on access, freezing when he saw a few pink drops fall into the sink. He placed the towel back in the empty tub and walked back in the room to see that Loki had lifted the sheets up till the top of his head so that only the black mop of hair could be seen.

Thor smiled a little and went to the stairs.

“Thor?”

Thor stopped and looked back.

“Aye?”

“Don’t go” the figure in the bed requested “stay and talk to me”

Thor blinked slowly, feeling guilty and wanting to stay with him at the same time.

He couldn’t stand seeing Loki in pain and he knew he was responsible and that made it all the more worse.

And he would spend time with him at a moment’s notice had he not…

“Thor?”

Thor blinked out of his reverie “Yes?”

“Please?”

Thor smiled softly and turned back, slowly making his way to sit at the other end of the bed, as far from Loki as he could.

His gaze, fixed on his hand, lifted when he heard the sheets shift and looked up to see Loki facing him, looking at him with large, green eyes and smiling softly.

“Thor, where were you going?” he asked, extending a hand.

Thor looked at the hand and extended his to Loki, moving forward when Loki pulled and made him lie down opposite, staring at his face.

“To get us breakfast” Thor replied.

“Liar” Loki whispered, touching his lip “you were running away because you think you hurt me”

“I did”

“Only because I insisted” Loki said “it was my fault, so stop thinking about it. Things like this happen”

“We are always apologizing to each other” Thor pointed out

Loki chuckled “I know. It’s getting silly”

“It really is” Thor reached out and stroked Loki’s cheek with a thumb until he flushed “What do you want to eat?”

Loki inhaled deeply in contentment “Well, I do have a craving for warm milk”

Thor gave him a dry glare and gently slapped his cheek

Loki sniggered “Or something a little more – masculine.”

“Like?”

“Ribs” Loki announced “soaked in that gravy we had a few weeks ago”

“Aye” Thor said, mouth watering “I remember that”

“May I have it?”

Thor brushed his hair back “You can have the moon if you so request it”

Loki sighed dramatically “Can you not give me a proper answer?”

“Can you not thank me for a lovely comment?”

“I would if you hadn’t borrowed it from Fandral”

Thor blinked and gaped.

“Yes, I know” Loki told him and patted his cheek “No go order us some ribs. I wish to for us to stay in here for today”

“Just the two of us?” Thor asked

“Aye” Loki touched his jaw, then placed a hand in the middle of his chest and pushed “Now go, I am hungry”

Thor rolled his eyes and sat up, stealing a kiss before he padded downstairs and went across their large room to order their breakfast.

***

He hadn’t come.

The two faced sick, son of a bitch hadn’t come when he had called him.

And was all his own fault.

Byleistr should have known better, he should have known the Aesir would betray him, tell him he was unworthy and take back their word.

They were all dishonorable, after all.

They took and took and never gave in return, they were monsters, barbarians as his dam had told him all his life, they were brutes that raped and pillaged and had the audacity to call _his_ race monsters.

And he had given them his brother.

In his desperation to get his right, he had given Loki away, never expecting his brother to be enchanted by them. He could see it, the glittering of his eyes when he looked upon his prince or when he looked upon the world Byleistr had pushed him into.

At first, he’d thought it was a good thing, that Loki would wrap Thor around his finger and have him under his control. He hadn’t expected Loki to ignore him completely and go so deep into _their_ world that he forgot what they came here to do.

Byleistr had given Loki power because he held him under his.

Now, it seemed that Loki was distancing himself from him. He was refusing him, _him_ , the only one who had stayed with him his entire life. He had taken care of him, fed him, protected him and that ungrateful brat and turned away from him, told him to leave him alone.

No, Byleistr growled as he stared at the raging sea before the catacombs, he wasn’t going to allow it.

Loki was _his_ to control. What he said, Loki would do and there was _nothing_ that would stop him from teaching that runt that fact.

He had given Loki a week and it was over.

If Loki had done what he asked, then fine.

If not …

The circlet that he’d used to call Helbindi, the one he held in his hands crumpled under his rage.

Loki would learn the price of his insubordination.

Loki thought himself better than him, fine.

Byleistr would show him how low he could really be.

He spun around angrily, walking to the edge of the catacombs and started to climb up, going back the way he had come.

He didn’t notice the men hidden in the shadows or their weapons.

Balder and Thor looked at each other, then at the exit Byleistr had taken before they sighed.

Their prey hadn’t made an appearance and they were curious as to why that happened.

***

When Thor entered his new chambers, he went into mild shock.

The sight before him was something he had never seen and even as the scent of cheap perfume hit him, he remained in slight disbelief.

There was fluttering of cheap fabric, of shining clothes, laughter and giggling, there were flashes of hair and flurry of movement all over and Thor thought about panicking for a moment.

Apparently Loki had friends over.

And that was all fine; apart from the fact that they were the fourteen women Loki had met in the brothel.

And Loki was nowhere in sight.

“Your Highness!” one of them called.

Thor wanted to cover his ears at the massive wave of shrieks that assailed him. he winced when five women ran forward, to others waving and bowing to him, calling him from the end of the room, the balcony where their bed rested – how many of them were there!?

“Your Highness, you cannot be here!”

“Not now, you must wait!”

Thor watched, stunned as he was suddenly spun around and walked to the door.

“Wait! Where’s Loki?” he asked, trying to go back, but there was no room for him the go, they were _everywhere_!

“He’s here,  my lord, worry not we won’t harm him”

“He has a surprise for you, he wishes you not to see at the moment”

“I’ll just –“

“Thor?” Loki’s voice called from above.

“Over here!” Thor called from where he stood trapped “Is all well, dear? I hadn’t realized you wanted guests over”

“You were gone” Loki replied “What was I to do all day?”

Cheering followed, immediately backed up by sounds of agreement.

Thor realized he was vastly outnumbered and needed to leave.

“When… when can I return then, dearest?”

Loki was silent a moment and that worried Thor “A few hours”

“As you wish” Thor bowed.

As a warrior, he knew when to retreat and when to fight. But now, with so many brightly colored, chatting women, Thor didn’t think fighting was an option.

Retreat sounded wiser, anyway.

So he took a step back, going to hold onto the knob with one hand to show that he intended to obey.

“Ladies” he nodded to them and winced when the entire lot shrieked in glee.

Closing the door behind him, Thor walked out into the hallway shaking his head as he tried to guess what his husband was up to.

He hadn’t guessed it as he exited the castle, nor did the answer come to him as he walked into the rest of the palace.

As he walked, a thought occurred to him and he felt incredibly guilty.

With all the time he wanted to spend with Loki, Thor had ended up completely ignoring his friends. They had said more than once that they understand, but that did nothing for his guilt and his feet automatically started another path, going to the tarp where he would at least find one.

All through his walk, he recalled that morning a few days ago, the morning when he and Loki had enjoyed a breakfast of gravy slathered ribs, eating as indelicately as possible and enjoying it to the maximum.

He chuckled now, as he walked a path shielded by trees, as he recalled how Loki looked with sauce and gravy all over his tapered fingers and on his chin, his cheeks and all around his mouth.

He had eaten like a true Aesir and Thor found that so _perfect_ he’d wished he had a Midgardian camera to capture the moment forever. When Loki had caught him staring, he had gone immediately self conscious and wanted to wipe it away.

Thor had kissed him instead then resumed eating like nothing had happened.

After that, Loki ate with more vigor and then announced the commencement of a tournament.

Thor had let him win.

The one that ate with the least decorum would win.

Thor had seen Loki eat; he had more manners at a single sitting than Thor had displayed his whole life; there was no way he could beat him.

So Thor cheated.

It was worth it when he saw a sauce covered face smile at him, emerald eyes blinking as gravy ran down the back of Loki’s hands.

It was one of the things Thor knew he would remember forever.

Then Loki had gone to wash himself and Thor waited for him to return before he once more sat opposite Thor on the floor on their chambers and use his finger to wipe clean the platter they had been using, licking his fingers and unknowingly making Thor hard.

But Thor hadn’t touched him.

He recalled all too well, the horror of seeing Loki screaming under him as though he had torn him apart.

The damage Thor caused him was unspeakable and it was a miracle Loki didn’t hate him.

He sighed as he walked through the tree lined path that led to the tarps and smiled when he saw a familiar beauty shooting arrows at targets.

Sif’s eyes were narrowed and focused on her aim but he knew she had seen him by the way she arched her brow before releasing the next arrow.

It hit the dummy right in the center of the forehead.

Relaxing her stance, Sif lowered her bow and gave Thor a smile.

“Remembered me, then?” 

Thor grimaced and walked forward “Forgive me, my lady, I have been rather occupied”

“I know” she smirked and lifted another arrow “have you come to make amends?”

“Perhaps” Thor said, watching as she loaded and fired, wincing when the arrow landed in the poor dummy’s crotch “Perhaps when you are unarmed”

Sif gave him a dry glare “Please, I would never harm you”

“You stabbed me once and threw me in a fountain, Sif” Thor pointed out

“Only because you called me a maiden”

“But you are a…” Thor broke off at the deadly glare he received “I may have been mistaken”

“Aye” she lifted another arrow and split the one already embedded in the skull of her target “So, Thor, what have you planned to do to make it up to us?”

“Well,” Thor clasped his hands behind his back “Perhaps a lovely dinner for the maiden. Wherever she so chooses”

Sif thought about it “I’ll pass”

Thor gaped “Why?”

“It will take more than a dinner to settle things with me, Prince, and to say nothing of the others” Sif scrunched her nose a little “perhaps not Theoric, he was being a little prickly”

Thor frowned “How so?”

Sif shook her head and lifted another arrow “Nothing of import. Perhaps a hunting trip?”

Thor’s eyes went wide “That’s brilliant. I shall get everyone ready right away”

Sif grinned, shot her arrow and turned to him “Where to? The horrid woods of Nornhiem?”

“Nay” Thor said “The Dark Forest, right here in Asgard”

Sif’s eyes widened and she grinned “Now that is the Thor I know”

He bowed to her “When do you wish to leave?”

“I would say immediately, but I assume you will have to say farewell to your husband first, so how about tonight?” she placed her weapons aside.

Thor frowned “What? You wish to leave Loki behind?”

Sif looked up “Does he know how to hunt?”

Thor thought about it “I do not think so”

“Then what fun will he have?” she asked, then shrugged “Ask him along, if he wishes it then that’s well”  
Her tone was perfectly fine, but something alerted Thor.

“Sif, are you alright?”

She nodded “Aye”

He wasn’t convinced; she hadn’t looked at him. 

“Sif?”

“Leave it alone, Thor” she said, lifting her items and walking away.

Her tone brooked no argument so Thor let her go and remained with the distinct feeling that his friend didn’t like Loki.

He really wanted to ask her, but now was not the time.

He needed to get his friends and husband together and go on a hunting trip.

So, putting it away for the moment, he trotted after Sif, discussing what they would hunt and where.

Between the two of them, they managed to get everyone.

Thor, Balder, Sif, Fandral, Theoric, Sigyn, Volstagg and Hogun all talked excitedly about where they were headed and set about telling their families what they were up to.

It was a three day plan and Thor was extremely excited.

Everything was done and ready so the only thing left was to ask Loki to come along. Thor would convince him and keep him safe. Besides, Loki had his magic after all, nothing could really go wrong.

He turned the hall as he entered the palace apartments and spotted a familiar mop of light blonde hair moving about, going on ahead.

He acted before he thought.

“Bragi!”

His half brother turned, golden eyes looking around before they caught Thor and he raised a perfect brow.

“Yes?”

Thor jogged over, running the idea through his mind and making it more appealing.

“I wish…” he stopped, panting a little “I … My friends and I were going on a hunting trip tonight and… I want to invite you along”

Bragi’s eyes widened in surprise before they slit.

“Why?” he asked suspiciously 

Thor exhaled and shrugged “A way to thank you. You have done much for me and I – wanted to thank you”

Violent gold eyes glinted.

“I swear this is no trick” Thor said “decline if you so wish, but know this was a legitimate invitation”

“What of your husband?”

“Loki will come with us” Thor said “I just have to ask him”

“Forgive me, but that delicate lad is hardly built for a few nights in the cold forest” Bragi pointed out.

“He’ll come” Thor shrugged “and we gather at the palace lobby at around ten. Join us if you wish”

Bragi didn’t say anything so Thor nodded to him and turned, running up the steps to where his chambers were.

It was near evening and he was pretty sure Loki would be alone, so he barged into the room, slamming the doors against the walls.

“Loki!” he called, shaking the very roof “Loki, come down here, I wish to…”

Thor broke off, gaping when he saw his husband.

Loki stood before the reading lamp, next to the chair he had been sitting in, looking at him with large green eyes.

And he looked _stunning_.

And Thor realized why those whores where here.

Loki’s slender hands had their nails painted black as he wore one of the emerald tunics Thor had given him, his hair was shining and a single plait came over his shoulder from their thick depths, the scent of sandalwood hit Thor as he slowly moved forward and saw the black trousers that hugged Loki’s legs and the kajol in his eyes that accentuated their perfection.  

A single onyx ring sat on Loki’s right middle finger, a stark contrast to his pale hand and a thin black ring coiled around the first finger of his left hand; a serpent gripping its own tail in its jaws.

Thor stood, staring so long Loki felt self conscious and lifted a hand to tug at the thin braid “Greetings, Thor”

“I … hunt… huh…” Thor babbled and made Loki blush.

“For Norn’s sake, Thor…” he whispered, looking away.

Thor blinked out of his hypnosis and walked forward, making Loki look up before he placed a hand behind his head and kissed him.

Loki moaned, eyes falling shut as Thor parted his lips and pushed his tongue into his mouth, tilting his head aside to slot their mouths better.

It was intense and they stood for a long time, gasping and clinging, opening and closing their jaws as they kissed, their mouths red and swollen as they tasted and probed each other.

With a soft sigh, Loki’s arms went around Thor’s shoulders and he pulled him closer, pressing against him and rubbing himself against Thor.

He gasped, breaking off the kiss, and tipped his head back to allow Thor to kiss and bite down his throat.

He moaned when Thor lowered him to the floor and lay on top. His blue eyes were wide and Loki wished he had the talent to read his mind because the way he was staring at Loki was baffling him.

He kissed him before Loki could say something and then broke off to pay attention to his neck.

“Thor…” Loki groaned as he felt Thor’s lips leave his, kissing, kicking and biting down his throat once more. He lifted his hips, stuttering in lust.

His hands went to Thor’s back and he held him down, pressed up against him to show him that he was aroused and that he _needed_ this.

He fisted his hands in Thor’s hair and pulled to get his attention. Thor growled, stopped kissing his jaw line to kiss his mouth again, chuckling at Loki’s enthusiasm.

Kissing him again, Thor snuck a hand between their bodies and started to unlace their trousers.

“Tonight…” Loki panted, raking a hand through Thor’s hair “You will … have me”

“No” Thor groaned as he freed them both “tonight, you are safe”

Loki frowned but the question at the tip of his tongue turned into a groan when Thor’s hand came over his need and began to stroke him.

Thor buried his face in Loki’s neck, grabbing both their lengths in his large hand and thrusting. His hot breath burned Loki’s skin, burned more than the desperation building within the young prince and he panted, whimpering as his release came so close … so close.

“Thor …Norns…” Loki gasped, arching himself to gain more pleasure from his husband.

“I will make you come” Thor rasped in his ear “make you release all over my hand so that you sear me, burn me, mark me as you so that whenever someone sees me, all they think of is Loki… Loki… _Loki_ …”

Loki never thought words could make him come.

But the things Thor whispered, the battle hard hand on his length and the thrusts Thor gave were too much and Loki bowed back as he did exactly what Thor had said and came with a gasp, breathless and shivering, before he fell back on the carpet.

He was a mess and Thor moved above him only a moment longer before he kissed Loki and yelled his own release into Loki’s mouth before he fell on him, panting hard.

***

They couldn’t look at each other without thinking of how _good_ it had been.

Both of them were red in the face as they walked down the halls, hand in hand, their bags held over their shoulders.

Once the aftermath was done, Thor had told Loki they were going hunting.

Loki had stared in disbelief. All he knew of hunting came from books. He knew nothing.

He had tried to decline, but then Thor had insisted and Loki found he couldn’t say no to those eyes any longer, especially when Thor widened them so.

Sighing, he had agreed and Thor had leapt off him, pulling him up and into his arms for a kiss.

Loki had shaken his head when they parted, then fixed his clothes, cleaned them off with a spell and went to pack.

He smiled as he recalled how his hair had been standing up, ruined by Thor’s attention and how Thor had failed to warn him.

It was only chance that Loki ran a hand over his hair that he found out and glared at his husband as they set their things on the bed to take with them.

Loki would have been done quicker, but Thor kept coming up behind him and lifting him to spin around so it delayed him.

Now, an hour and a half after their intended time, Thor walked with his husband, lifting his hand to kiss his knuckles every now and then to make him flush, as they made their way to the lobby.

Loki walked closer to him, deliberately nudging his shoulder and giving him sidelong glances.

When the doors parted, Loki stared at the amount of people standing before him.

He knew of them all, but he was friends with Fandral – somewhat – and shyly waved at him when they entered.

Fandral grinned at him and bowed long and low “Prince Loki”

Thor smiled as he walked over, releasing Loki to put his arm around Theoric’s shoulder.

“There you are!” Thor chuckled, grabbing him in a headlock “I thought married life had taken you away, brother”

Brother?

Loki raised a brow at the possible discovery of another Odinson.

How free had Odin been?

“He’s not our brother, that’s a nickname”

Loki paled and froze when he heard Balder, shame filling his eyes before he turned to give Balder a small glance.

Images of his humiliation came rushing through his mind and he looked away, spotting Sigyn smiling at him before he hugged his arms around himself, lowered his head and walked to her.

Balder stared at him, his expression hurt and guilty. It was a miracle no one noticed.

Or a curse. When Balder turned and saw Bragi walking over, his own bag slung over his shoulder.

His heart began to beat faster and Balder realized he was feeling dizzy.

Nothing scared him more than Bragi.

He never told anyone what happened that night because he was scared to death – of his own brother.

And even though he tried to keep it in check, tried to keep this shameful _fear_ under control, times like this made it resurface.

He avoided Bragi when he could and forced himself to endure when he couldn’t.

Right now, it seemed he had to do the latter.

So, he took a deep breath and moved about, looking for a friendly face he could go to without seeming like a coward.

“Bragi!” Thor blinked in surprise “you came”

Bragi shrugged “You invited me, did you not?”

Balder gaped and looked at Thor but the man avoided his gaze.

“Of course” Thor said, then looked to his group “So, how many are we? Ten?”

“Eleven!”

They turned to see Idunn skipping over, her own bag swinging in her hand as she skipped forward.

“You?” Theoric asked “My lady, we do not go for a walk in the gardens”

“I know” Idunn said “We are going hunting, are we not?”

“Aye” Fandral replied.

“Excellent” she grinned before moving to Balder and hanging onto his arm to beam at him.

Loki saw Balder visibly relax and place his large hand over Idunn’s.

“Well, are we off?”

“Wait!”

They turned a second time and all of them froze.

Byleistr came forward, his gaze slit.

“I thought it was untrue but now I see” he snarled “you leave in the middle of negotiations? We are facing a war, gentlemen!”

A pin drop silence fell in the lobby before the slither of metal told them that the guards had unsheathed their weapons.

They halted when Thor raised a hand to them and looked up at the giant.

“I will forgive this insolence _only_ because of my friends” he rasped “dare to raise your voice to me again and there will be consequences”

Byleistr snarled “First you refuse to help me, then you plan a hunting trip. What do you expect me to do?”

“Wait” Balder told him, walking forth “three days will do us no harm”

“Or it will destroy us” Byleistr said “I am as much a prince as you are; I demand the respect I deserve. I didn’t come here to wait while you play around. My home is being destroyed and neither of you seem to think that important”

“Be careful, Jotun” Bragi said calmly “we are quick to take offence at even the smallest of things”

Thor sighed and looked at the people behind him, then at the Jotun prince before him.

 

He knew Byleistr was right. As much as he hated him, the man had a point.

They were in the middle of a war; this was not the time for stupid actions.

Thor sighed, realizing his trip was probably cancelled.

“So unless you take me with you, I see no other option than you disappointing all these men and women behind you”

Thor, Balder and Bragi looked up immediately, glaring at the large Jotun.

Beside her, Sigyn felt Loki tense and gently placed a hand on his arm.

No one trusted Byleistr; no one wanted him to come alone.

But ignoring him and leaving him here while they went to enjoy themselves in the middle of a war was inexcusable and it would only prove what the Jotun said true.

Also, Thor didn’t want Byleistr to do something in their absence. 

Balder slit his gaze and Bragi raised a brow.

“You do know” Bragi said very softly “that all of us are capable of killing a Jotun, do you not?”

A growl rose from Byleistr’s throat and that was when Loki moved.

“Aye!” he ran towards his brother, going to grasp his hand and give it a squeeze “we know we saw what you did to Farbauti’s men” he looked up “did we not, brother?”

Another warning squeeze and Loki calmed when Byleistr gave him a soft squeeze back.

“Accompany us” Loki said “it might be fun. With a Jotun on your side, a full blooded one at that, no prey can escape us”

A tense moment of laughter followed as Loki diffused the situation.

It was a hard choice, but short of offending said full blooded Jotun, there was nothing else do be done but agree.

“We shall wait for you to pack, then”

Byleistr nodded, extracted himself from Loki’s grip and turned to walk back.

As soon as he was gone, harsh whispers started.

“Sif” Thor said “you know what you have to do”

“Aye, sir” she said “sweep the perimeter and not let him choose where we set camp”

“Theoric?” Balder prompted.

“Take first watch, give the next to Fandral”

“Bragi” Thor said “You have to watch him like a hawk”

“Sigyn” Balder called “a spell, if you please, on all of us, then the area around”

“Of course”

“Hogun, Volstagg” Balder turned to them “you must flank his tent if he chooses one”

“Fandral, you will watch him if he sleeps under the stars”

Loki watched them all, listening to what they were saying and he couldn’t help but feel left out.

And offended; he didn’t like how they were talking about his brother when he was right there with them.

Thor noticed his expression and his own went guilty. He looked at his husband with large uncertain eyes for a few moments and opened his mouth to speak.

But Loki was faster.

“Excuse me” he said shortly “I shall be right back”

The dawning of their mistake was slow on the others and they grimaced and bit their lips as Loki simply turned and left, his back straight and his posture angry.

Thor watched his consort leave, his mouth slightly parted in what he realized was hurt.

Somehow, and he knew it sounded stupid, he felt betrayed.

He thought he had gained so much ground with Loki and here he was, simply walking over to his brother as though _Thor_ was the one in the wrong.

Thor wasn’t wrong – Byleistr was.

His treatment of Loki was wrong.

But not matter what the truth was, Loki seemed to have picked his brother over Thor, proving it as he went to him rather than stay at their side.

When a hand rested on his shoulder, Thor didn’t move.

“Forget it” Balder told him “We shouldn’t have done what we did. He’s right to be angry”

But Thor didn’t listen to anything other than the pain in his heart that kept telling him that he would always remain second to Loki.


	14. Rude Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki cries - again

Loki rode with him, beside him on Erik, he responded to his questions and he looked at Thor often enough, but Thor still felt the distance Loki had set between them.

His love was angry at him, angry at his friends for what they said and angry at the callous, insensitive was they had started talking about Byleistr, as though he was a monster that needed constant watching, while Loki was still there.

It was an insult to Loki.

It was nothing less than a slap in his face and Loki had every right to be angry, to sit on Erik as he rode beside his husband, the hood of his cloak pulled up over his head. Behind them the party of ten moved, Byleistr insisting on walking because no horse could take his weight.

He walked beside Loki and both of them muttered a conversation Thor was not a part of. Loki didn’t smile, he didn’t chuckle, his face remained impassive as he replied to whatever his brother asked him.

From the looks of it, Byleistr didn’t look happy.

Whatever they were talking about was not to the elder Jotun’s liking and Loki knew that, which was why he kept giving him single syllable answers and kept his gaze ahead.

In the dimmed evening light, Thor frowned when he saw Byleistr’s hand twitch as though he wanted to hit something.

“Loki”

Thor wasn’t going to let that monster hurt his love.

Loki turned his head to him, face flat “Aye?”

“Do you want to rest a moment?” Thor asked “the site is far and we…”

“No” Loki turned his gaze ahead again,

Thor broke off, blinking at the clipped answer before he shut his mouth and looked back at Balder helplessly.

His brother winced and nodded to him before he raised a hand high into the air, signaling a stop.

“We pause here” he called, looking over his shoulder at everyone else “we take an hour’s rest, give some to the horses then move on”

There was a collective murmur of agreement as they stood their horses and got off, looking around.

They were a few meters away from the golden fields with the brightest sky above them, so stopping took no convincing. It was beautiful and Fandral was the first to comment on it.

“Why, dearest Idunn, the landscape stole from you only partially and…”

“Give it up, Fandral” Sif jumped down and brought her horse forth “she’s otherwise engaged”

At that, Loki, who had stopped his horse a good distance from Thor, turned to see Idunn and Balder locked at the lips as he pressed her back against his horse. Both her arms were around his neck as they kissed, blissfully unaware to the world.

Loki flushed and looked to his hands before he started to dismount.

“Let me help” Thor ran over, all but tripping in his haste to please.

“I can do it, Thor” Loki said softly, but found himself staring at the hand Thor suddenly presented. With a soft sigh, he took it and steadied himself as he got off Erik.

Thor’s expression became hurt when Loki instantly retracted his hand and grabbed Erik’s reins to walk him to the fields. He turned his blue eyes up and caught his friends looking at him with sympathetic expressions. All, with the exception of Bragi who walked beside Byleistr as they explored the fields, gave him encouraging nods and gestured for him to follow Loki.

He looked at them, then back at his consort as Loki removed Erik’s reins to let him enjoy the delicious grass that grew on the ground. Loki was watching the horse feed fixedly, his black gloved hand moving up and down on Erik’s neck. He clicked his tongue every now and then before moving the horse a few paces forward.

Thor bit his lips when he felt his heart churn and looked at his friends again. Theoric winked at him and told him to go ahead before placing his arm around Sigyn’s shoulders and pointedly turning away. The rest followed suit and Balder slowly nodded to him; a warrior’s way of encouragement. Then he let Idunn take him away, following the path set by Byleistr as he went to explore the far trees.

That left Thor and Loki alone – with Darcy and Erik.

Thor sighed, took Darcy’s reins and led her with him, walking to where Loki stood, ignoring everyone.

When he was close, Thor exhaled loudly “Loki”

“Aye?” Loki said, kneeling down to pick a small white flower and started to braid it in Erik’s mane. 

The animal went still in obedience as he was treated and Thor watched helplessly.

“Loki, will you not look at me?”

“Why?” Loki asked simply “I know what you look like”

Thor sighed and bit his lip “So I can apologize”

“You did nothing to me, Thor” Loki said, stepping back and bending down to pick another flower.

Thor watched him carefully as Loki ignored him before exhaling and walking over. He saw Loki tense and placed a hand over his as he pet the horse.

“Loki” Thor said a little more firmly “look at me”

Loki swallowed nervously before he turned his head to Thor’s and looked at him, green eyes wary.

“I’m sorry” Thor said “we shouldn’t have said those things about your brother”

“What you say doesn’t matter to me, Thor” Loki said “it’s your choice, your life, what say do I have in it? But I do have a say when my family is being insulted right before me”

“Loki, we …” Thor broke off “Yes, we shouldn’t have said it before you, but you must understand the situation we are in”

“What situation?” Loki asked “the situation where you promised my brother the casket then refused to give it to him? Where you went back on every word you gave?”

“That is not true” Thor said “We didn’t refuse the casket to Byleistr”

“But you sure as hell aren’t giving it to him” Loki said “Thor, we _need_ it to rebuild our home, to protect our people. It is the only protection we have”

“I know that” Thor said “but you need to know that … Loki, you know how your brother is, we can’t…”

Loki frowned “Can’t what? Can’t trust him?”

Thor opened his mouth to speak then closed it.

“Why?” Loki asked “because he is doing everything you ask him to?”

“He’s meeting Helbindi” Thor told him bluntly “Heimdall saw him call him _here_ in Asgard but he could not hear him. What they said, I do not know, but if he is meeting him…”

“Helbindi came to warn him” Loki said bluntly “he said that they will win this war and that Byleistr was stupid putting faith in the Aesir army and in me. He said that we shall lose and fall under the merciless Farbauti. He offered my brother a chance to ally with them and he refused; that is all”

Thor stared at him “How do you know this?”

“I was there” Loki said, crossing his arms.

Thor’s eyes went wide and Loki scoffed.

“I knew it” Loki said, turning away “you claim to have fallen for me but I see the suspicion in your eyes.”

“Loki, wait” Thor moved and grabbed his wrist “It’s not like that, I …”

Loki turned and looked at him “Yes, it’s exactly like that. Now _I_ was there, too. Will you have me watched as well?”

“No!” Thor said loudly, wondering what the hell became of a simple apology “Of course I won’t, but Loki, please…”

Loki gave him a solid glare.

“Loki, I know how bad this sounds, but my … distrust is there because of a more personal nature”

Loki frowned “What?”

“Loki, he …” Thor broke off and looked to where everyone else was “he doesn’t treat you well, Loki, and I guess being slightly nasty towards him makes me feel some sort of justice”

Loki stared at him as if unsure what he would make of him “Thor, that is none of your business”

“It is if he attacks us at night”

“He was drunk!” Loki said

“He was out of line, why are you standing up for him, Loki?” Thor asked “He hurts you”

Loki glared at him and took a step back “You’ve hurt me, too”

Thor blinked, his expression becoming hurt.

“I don’t hold it against you” Loki said “why do you hold my brother’s actions against him?”

“Because he does it, still” Thor said softly, pulling Loki closer “I won’t”

“Is this not hurting me, you think?” Loki asked softly “insulting the only family I have”

Thor gave him a pleading glance “Loki, he’s not your only family; you have us”

“It’s not the same” Loki said, pulling against Thor’s hold on him “you’re my husband”

Thor didn’t loosen his grip, but used it to pull Loki close enough to drag him into his arms “How is that different?”

“I didn’t grow up with you” Loki said into Thor’s shoulder “you didn’t protect me from monsters and you didn’t give up a throne to raise me. Byleistr did all that and now if he wants the throne back, there is nothing wrong with it, if he asks for my help, there is nothing wrong with that, either. I owe it to him after all he has done”

For some reason Thor didn’t think these were Loki’s words; they were fed to him for so long he had started to believe them. But he couldn’t say anything without hurting Loki further, so he stayed silent.

“I’m sorry” Thor said, pulling Loki close “I am truly sorry”

It was a lie.

Thor wasn’t sorry. Byleistr was a monster and Thor disliked him with a passion.

But the man was important to Loki, so Thor would bear him.

For Loki, Thor realized, he would bear a lot.

***

The rest of the trip was relatively less tense.

This was mainly because Fandral had started to sing and urged Balder to do the same.

Their voices carried in an old tale of warriors and lost loves, of reincarnation and happily ever afters. It was touching and beautiful and Loki found himself smiling when others began to join in.

Beside him, Byleistr growled.

“It’s pathetic” he muttered in his own tongue as they went on singing “they act as if they are not in the middle of a war”

“Leave them be” Loki told him “this is their way of coping, I guess”

His brother scoffed “They waste their time here like this while our land is destroyed. How can you let them?”

Loki’s lips tightened “There is nothing I can do and you know it”

“Of course there is” Byleistr rasped “You can…”

“Complete that sentence” Loki whispered “and I will make good upon my threat and tell them you were meeting with Helbindi”

Once more, Byleistr’s hand tightened but there was nothing he could do, not without having Loki expose his secret.

“You think you are clever, do you not?” he rasped “using what little leverage you have to blackmail me. But know that this won’t last forever; my grudge will and when I get the chance, I know I will extract retribution from you willingly or not”

Loki shuddered at the suggestive warning but said nothing else.

The moment he had followed his brother a few hours ago, he knew it wasn’t going to end well. His brother had been a raging hellion and when Loki came in after him, he had turned on him with a desire to hurt.

But Loki had halted his mad rail and told him in no uncertain terms what he would do if Byleistr insisted upon what he was going to insist on.

The shock on his half brother’s face had been short but satisfying. Then Loki had feared for his life when an ugly anger came upon his brother’s face. He didn’t back away when Byleistr approached, he stood his ground and gave him the same threat he gave Bragi.

He would scream.

Byleistr stopped, staring at Loki in disbelief.

His own brother – threatening him? The runt!?

Loki sensed his brother’s anger but stood his ground.

Do not harm them, he told him clearly and stop asking him for things he can’t give him.

Byleistr had stood still in his rage, looking at the face of his brother – his _brother_ \- the one person who would never betray him.

And something inside him crumbled.

“You think you you’re so clever” he’d rasped “so much better than me because you slept your way into miniscule power? Let me tell you something, _brother_ , he doesn’t know you, he doesn’t know what you have done and when he does, you would be _lucky_ to..”

“Enough”

Byleistr was shocked into silence.

“It hurts, does it not?” Loki asked in a calm voice “that you battled for weeks without achieving anything while I ‘slept my way to miniscule power’ and got more authority than you”

Byleistr gaped at Loki.

He had _never_ talked to him like this before.

“So listen to me, brother” Loki told him simply “do not harm them. They may be bastards but that is no reason for you to hurt them. If you do anything stupid to them, there will be consequences”

With that, Loki turned and left, spinning around with a bravado he didn’t really feel and stomped out of the room.

It had been his misfortune that he missed Byleistr’s smile or never heard the muttered curse that was the breaking of their brotherhood.

Now, Loki turned to him “You can try, brother”

Byleistr’s lip curled; yes.

He was going to try.

And succeed

***

The camp site was near a river, surrounded by all sides by trees and tapering into the distance as the river led it forth. The land was nice and cool and it didn’t take long for Fandral to announce that he intended on swimming.

At this late hour, their bodies stinking and sweaty, no one disagreed.

So Loki was forced to concentrate on setting up his tent while Idunn, Sif and Sigyn sat with their feet dangling in the water. Byleistr had gone exploring the forest, Loki could see him lurching about so that left Loki alone – again.

Sighing, he tightened a rope then startled and jumped back when the whole tent fell. Giving an irritated exhale, Loki waved a hand and used magic to construct his temporary abode before grabbing his bag and walking it.

It wasn’t as lavish as the ones he had been in earlier, but it was brightly colored and with a wave of his hand, Loki lit the candles around to make it even brighter.

Then he sat down and started to pull his belongings out, setting them around the way he wanted.

He pulled out his pallet and unrolled it, crawling over it to set spread it out, dusting it with his hands before he fell on it with a loud huff.

The voices and cheers of Thor and his friends came from outside and a few moments later, the women shrieked as they, too, were pulled into the water. Loki lay on his front, head turned aside to watch the flames of the candles as they flickered.

His mind was yelling at him, making him feel guilty about _everything_ he had done so far.

About how easily he blackmailed his own brother.

It frightened him even as he tried to tell himself that he needed to take a stand against Byleistr, needed to tell him what would and would not be accepted; as Thor had said.

But then, he was hit with the guilt that it was _Byleistr_ his _brother_ the one who had taken care of him his whole life!

Byleistr had given up the throne for him, had given up royalty to protect him.

And now, because he wanted it back, Loki should help him rather than try and stop him. Instead, Loki found himself pitted against Byleistr because he was demanded to do one thing that he just _couldn’t_.

For Norn’s sake, he was not even twenty three!

He had his whole life to create something so permanent, why was Byleistr insisting so much?!

Loki sighed because he knew the answer to that.

Thor.

His husband, who took vicious delight in tormenting his brother was responsible for this. he knew how important the casket was to his brother, he knew why he was here in the first place and yet he was refusing to give it to him. and without him knowing, Thor had damned Loki to a horrible relationship with his brother.

True, it had never been a healthy relationship, but Loki had never resorted to use blackmail before.

And that more than anything else spoke of how Loki had changed in these past weeks. He was willing to halt his brother get the one thing he wanted because his miniscule power had corrupted him.

Someone yelled outside and jumped into the water and Loki sighed.

This was not what his father would have wanted.

Exhaling, Loki pushed himself off the pallet and sat up, running a hand over his hair, before he stood and turned to leave the tent.

He avoided even looking at everyone as they jumped about in the water and shoved each other, having as much fun as he wanted to but lacking the ability to do so at the moment.

The water got deeper and he didn’t want anyone to know he couldn’t swim. One more thing would be wrong with their new _princess_.

Thor saw him walk and raised a hand but Loki turned his face ahead, going to where his brother was sitting in the trees, watching the playing Aesir just like Loki – unable to participate.

Byleistr saw Loki approach but he didn’t look at him. Even when Loki stood right next him and cleared his throat, Byleistr refused to acknowledge him.

Loki’s expression turned hurt and he hesitantly extended a hand to touch his brother’s.

“Only do that if you are willing to accept your folly”

Loki’s hand froze in midair, inches from Byleistr. He raised his green eyes to his brother’s and looked wretched.

“You chose him over me, Loki” Byleistr said “do you know how much that hurt?”

Loki lowered his hand and gaze, looking at the ground.

“You may not be living with me, but that doesn’t mean you get to sever the bond we have, brother”

Byleistr went on “you sided with the people _responsible_ for us losing everything in the first place. The Aesir are barbarians, ruthless and cold, and you chose them over me because they think you are a decent lay”

Loki flushed in shame but didn’t speak, his hands tied before him.

“You blackmailed me” Byleistr said, watching Thor dunk the blonde haired friend under the water, then yell when he was tackled from behind “for their safety. How proud would Father be?”

Loki looked up and gasped “No…”

“Yes” Byleistr turned to him, crimson gaze slit in anger “I may have given you to a better life, but you _sold_ yourself! You became a whore, satisfied with being bedded and shown off like a prize while I did _everything_ I could to get what _we_ needed! To get back what I gave up for you! All I asked was your help. What would Father have thought of this?”

“You want me to…” Loki started to accuse.

“Of course I do!” Byleistr snapped “thanks to that bastard, it is the only way I can get the casket and save our home! Have you forgotten everything after a few nights under that monster!?”

Loki paled and stepped back from his hissing brother.

“No, I …”

“Yes” Byleistr rasped “You have. Just because he was _forced_ to wed you doesn’t mean he will cherish you. He will ultimately get you with child and then he will leave you. What have you to offer him? Nothing. You are nothing, brother, do you hear me? He may offer you pretty words and compliments now but that will all stop once he gets what he needs from you. Then what? Who will you go to then? I sure as hell won’t keep you, not after the way you treat me now that you bagged a prince _I_ got for you. He will not even look at you then. He is Thor, the ruthless giant killer, wed to one of the monsters he hunts. He is basic creature, Loki, drawn to things while they are beautiful. What do you think he will do when you become uglier than you already are?”

Loki felt his lip quiver and turned to leave, gasping when Byleistr grabbed his arm and pulled him back, looking at him right in the face.

“You may try to make yourself one of them” he rasped and shook him, then tugged at Loki’s thin braid as it fell out from his hair “you can try and make yourself so pretty but in the end you will always be a monster to them. Disposable, meant to be discarded after being used. The perfect slut!”

He pushed him away and Loki stumbled back, tears in his eyes.

“So go,” Byleistr said “live among them, live with your prince, play his whore. But know that even if you deny it to me now, I will get my casket eventually because even you cannot fight nature. And when I do, it will be the last you see of me, _brother_. Because I know who you have chosen over me.” 

Loki massaged the arm Byleistr had held so ruthlessly as tears silently fell from his eyes because he was reeling from his brother’s words.

“Byleistr…” he whimpered uncertainly.

“Go” his brother said, turning aside and giving Loki his profile “I need to think and you are becoming a nuisance I will bear no longer”

Loki blinked and felt two thick tears run down his cheeks before he turned around and walked back, biting his lip to keep himself from whimpering.

***

Bubbles, a thousand of them, danced before his eyes, soothing and calming him before he tore before he surfaced from the water, shaking it out of his hair and relaxing when he felt the cool, calming waters cascade down his muscled form.

It was refreshing.

And after a ride as horrid as the one he’d had, Thor needed it.

He pushed his hair back with one hand and smiled when he saw Theoric jump from the extended branch of a tree and dive right into the water. The women cheered and the men mocked him in good humor.

Even Bragi, who remained aloof in his corner of the water, raised his hands to applaud.

And Fandral, not one to be outdone, immediately ran over to do the same.

His landing was much more graceful and Thor smiled when he saw his brother scowl at the exaggerated way Idunn clapped for him. He shook his head and looked around, spotting Volstagg perched upon a rock, possibly thinking of some late night fishing. Taking a deep breath, Thor prepared to dive in the water and pull his friend into the water.

But just as he was about to go, his eyes flicked over to the shore and he saw something that made his heart jolt painfully.

Loki was running, one hand wiping his eyes, past the fire they had set, past the tents and into their own, the one farthest and largest.

Thor furrowed his brow and abandoned his quest for mischief before he wadded out of the water. As he lifted his tunic, he saw Byleistr sitting propped against the tree, clapping softly when Hogun tried his hand at diving.

Scowling, Thor shook his head before going to his tent and gently pulling apart the doors.

Loki sat facing a corner, knees drawn up to his chest, his face hidden in his arms as he hugged them close and shudders jerked his body.

Thor’s expression became tormented as he walked in.

“Go away” Loki whispered softly “come back later, please”

Thor looked behind him, at his friends, then sighed and let the flap close behind him and took a handful of steps that would take him to his husband.

“Loki” Thor sat behind him, dripping water everywhere but not caring.

“What happened?”

Loki sniffed as a response but said nothing else.

Thor sighed and placed his hands on Loki’s shoulders, not releasing when Loki tensed, but squeezing a little before applying pressure enough to make Loki turn and face him.

There were remnants of tears on his cheeks and they were slightly pink, but other than that, it didn’t look like he had been crying.

“Did I truly hurt you this badly?”

Yes, Loki wanted to scream, yes, you did. When you crossed my brother, when you married me out of spite, when you made these feelings rise within me, yes you hurt me.

“No” Loki lied to him.

Thor gave him a sad smile and cupped his cheek.

“Liar”

Loki’s lower lip shook a moment before he buried his face in his hands and started to cry again.

“It’s your fault” he whispered “this is all because of you”

Thor closed his eyes a moment but said nothing. Instead, he reached over and pulled Loki into his arms, despite the fact that he struggled, until Loki buried his face in his neck and rested his hands on Thor’s shoulders, clinging to him as he wept.

And Thor held him through it, knowing who had hurt Loki but hesitant to bring it up.

He rubbed Loki’s back, though comforting him until the storm subsided and he placed his chin on Thor’s shoulder to try and relax himself.

“Will you not tell me what happened?” Thor asked

Loki blinked slowly “You know what happened.”

Thor sighed and rubbed Loki’s back again.

“Do you want to go back?”

Loki shook his head “No”

“What do you want to do, then?” 

Loki pulled back, running his hands down Thor’s arms and shoulders until he reached his hands and laced their fingers together.

“I want…” Loki whispered, raising his tear filled eyes to Thor’s “I want to forget…if only for a moment…”

He flushed and looked away and Thor smiled at him.

Gently, he tipped Loki’s head up and looked into his brilliant eyes.

Loki didn’t speak, but his hand twitched as it held Thor’s.

Smirking, Thor lowered his head and rested his mouth upon Loki’s.

He placed a small and sweet peck on Loki’s impossibly soft lips then pulled back.

He smiled when Loki’s mouth turned down in disappointment, clearly wanting more.

Thor chuckled when Loki glared at him.

“Perhaps” Thor kissed his forehead “we should wait until we get back. The others might be traumatized if I start to pleasure you here”

Loki flushed deeply, still shy, but forced himself to go on.

“I …” he looked at their hands; it was easier that way “I know … a spell to mute the…”

Thor’s eyebrows rose in surprise and Loki went an even darker shade of red and broke off with his face in his hands.

“Stop staring at me so” Loki ordered from behind his fingers “either do it or leave”

Do it or leave.

They were not the most romantic words, but Thor would remember them forever.

“Alright, then”

Loki gasped when Thor pulled his hands away and kissed him full on the mouth, proper and perfect, immediately using his tongue to pry open Loki’s mouth and surge in.

Loki closed his eyes and voluntarily slid up into Thor’s lap, putting his arms around him and groaning when Thor pulled him closer, raising his head to kiss him harder, deeper.

And at that moment, Loki could forget his brother’s words and the truth behind them.

***

Thor kissed him again, using one hand to grab Loki’s jaw, to that their mouths fit perfectly, moving against each other in a slow, sensual dance that filled them with need and desire alike.

It clearly marked the feelings that no mere words ever could.

They parted before Loki pulled himself even closer, feeling Thor’s large hands on his back before he flicked his wrist and the dull thrum of a spell muted them to the world outside. Satisfied, he lowered his head to take Thor’s lips once more.

Thor opened his mouth in response, closing his eyes as he tasted Loki, felt him move in his mouth, shyly licking over his tongue and teeth. Slowly, he pressed his tongue to Loki’s and made them both groan out loud. Then it became faster, their mouths opened wider with each kiss, their tongues twisted together in an erotic dance and Loki had to break off because it was making him see stars.

He moaned softly when Thor latched onto his tongue, hissing in pleasure when he felt Thor flick his tongue out and run it over a spot below his ear.

Making a pleased noise in the back of his throat, Thor held him tighter, doing it again and growling when Loki shuddered.

“Thor…” Loki breathed, his nails digging into Thor’s bare back.

He could feel it, the way Thor’s mouth rested on him, lips on either side of the bruise he would create, the flat of his tongue running over his skin as Thor pleased him so.

Loki whimpered and held on at Thor ran his tongue over his skin again and again until Loki thought he would release just from this.

“Thor” he pleaded, gasping when Thor began to suck a mark “Please, hurry…”

Thor rumbled a chuckle and began to suckled harder, his hands pulling Loki close before one latched into his hair and pulled his head back, exposing more of his creamy white throat.

Loki whined, trying to grind against Thor, because he was so aroused and needed release.

“Hurry” Loki whimpered “Please, hurry”

Thor pulled back and Loki gasped.

The mark was blaring red and Thor smiled a moment before he blew on it.

Loki shuddered and kissed Thor’s hair.

“Now, please…” he gasped “have me, I can’t take it…”

Thor kissed him, lingered a moment before he pulled back “Not tonight, Beloved, we need to wait”

Loki looked at him, confused before he scowled.

Thor gasped when Loki suddenly shoved him away and got off him, standing up forcefully.

“Isn’t that always the case?” Loki snapped and pushed the flap open to leave.

Thor sat there, stunned for a moment before he stood and ran after him.

“Loki!” Thor called when he saw Loki walking to the thickset trees a few yards away “Loki, come back!”

Loki growled and walked faster.

He heard Thor coming after him and he heard his friends watching but he didn’t care.

“Loki, wait!” 

Thor trotted after him just as Loki passed a tree, running his hand over the trunk to feel the bark. Thor’s hand grabbed his arm and pulled him to a stop.

“Will you listen to me?”

“Listen to what?” Loki asked, heated by passion and his brother’s words alike “listen to you reject me? Because I think I have had enough of that, thank you”

He freed himself and walked ahead, willing to lose Thor a moment and go deeper into the collection of trees.

“Even a monster can take only so much rejection”

“Loki!” Thor grabbed his arm and spun him around, shaking him a little “Don’t you ever call yourself that!”

“Why not?” Loki asked, still hurting and humiliated.

He had all but thrown himself at Thor so wantonly, begging him like a little slut he probably was, and Thor had refused him.

His brother’s words were true after all.

“Is that not what you see?” Loki asked him, scowling “a Jotun monster you were forced to wed, so ugly that you can’t even bear to touch it!”

His voice broke at the last and he looked away, a hand over his face.

He really was pathetic.

Thor looked at him sadly “Is that what you really think?”

“How can I not?” Loki whispered, not moving “no one ever wanted me. No one liked me. And here you come, this beautiful golden prince with your words and touches and – heart. And you tell me you want me but you don’t have me. How can it be anything other than my own deformities?”

Thor exhaled and pulled Loki closer, grabbing his chin to make look into his eyes.

“Is that what he said?”

Loki blinked slowly and pressed his lips together, realizing he’d said too much.

“I should” he pulled from Thor’s grasp “go”

As he passed Thor, the god of Thunder grabbed his arm and pulled him back, pressing his back against the nearest tree and looking into his stunned eyes.

“Thor!” Loki gasped, staring up at him, suddenly worried.

Did he go too far, somehow?

He let loose a soft whimper when Thor placed his hands beside his head and trapped him firmly.

“Two things,” Thor said gently “I could say two things forever and I don’t think you will believe me”

Loki blinked, his heart beginning to race.

“I will never hurt you” Thor leaned down and kissed Loki’s eyes until they fluttered shut “and you are beautiful”

Loki make a soft noise when Thor kissed is mouth but didn’t open his eyes; this way, it seemed like the perfect dream.

“Do you know how conflicting those two things are?” Thor asked against Loki’s neck as he mouthed his skin “The desire to have you collides with the will to keep you from hurt. It’s painful because I know how badly I hurt you once I gave in to my lust. I do not think I can take it again”

“You…” Loki gasped “You’re lying”

He whined when Thor nibbled on his neck, licking a stripe up to his ear, then circled the shell with his tongue before he gently blew on it.

“No, I’m not”

“Then…” Loki panted softly “prove it…”

“Loki…”

“Thor?”

Loki’s eyes flashed open when he heard Balder approach and he tensed.

“Thor, are you here?” Balder asked, walking closer to the trees.

“ _Get out of here before I behead you_!” Thor hollered.

Balder stumbled to a halt, shocked, before he smiled and bowed “Forgive me, brother, I …”

“Out!”

Laughing, Balder spun around and walked back to where he came from, shaking his head as his smile slowly faded, unaware of the violent golden eyes that followed him.

***

“This is your doing” Thor stated before lowering his head and placing an open mouthed kiss on Loki’s neck, making him gasp as he kissed large bites down to his collarbone before surging up and taking Loki’s mouth with a growl.

Loki whimpered and put his arms around Thor’s neck pulling him closer, grinding his hips against his husband’s and moaning when Thor fell on his knee, dragging Loki into his lap, making him straddle him.

“Loki…” he moaned “Beloved, we …”

Loki kissed him to shut him up, whining when Thor pulled his tongue between his lips again and again.

His hands flexed behind Thor’s back and he gasped when Thor broke off once more, looking up into his flushed face.

“If you’re sure” Thor whispered “Loki, I don’t wish to hurt you again”

“You won’t” Loki said softly “I vow”

“So be it” Thor kissed him roughly “That was the last time I asked, Loki”

Loki felt a shiver of excitement course through him and moaned into the kiss, squeezing Thor’s ribs as his knees straddled them and gently tugging on his hair.

Thor growled before pulling Loki closer, looping an arm around his waist and flipping them to the ground, looming over Loki.

Loki stared at him breathlessly and opened his mouth on a startled ‘O’ when Thor started to thrust against him. Their arousals ground together and Loki whimpered, gasping as Thor held him down.

So much power, Thor held, capable of breaking him in two easily.

But he wasn’t; he was being so careful even as his passion fought with him. And Loki slid his hands down Thor’s back, feeling his sleek, sinewy muscles and marveling at the build of a true killer.

“I’ll make this beautiful for you, Beloved” Thor said, kissing the side of Loki’s mouth before slotting their mouths together firmly and beginning to thrust harder. Loki frowned on pleasure, trying to raise himself to match Thor’s movement but Thor was _holding_ him down, stopping all his attempts to move, cruelly, and all he could do was give a soft gasp as Thor shoved his legs open and fall back.

Thor groaned and thrust harder, moving against Loki gritting his teeth as he moved against Loki’s stomach and arousal. His muscles were quivering in anticipation and his body was tense just as it was during battle.

“Loki…” Thor rested his head on Loki’s shoulder “I want you…so badly”

Loki groaned “No, don’t – _nnh_ – lie…please, I – _ah!_ – couldn’t take you … lying to…me”

“I’m not” Thor growled.

He lost his movement, pounding into Loki, slamming him into the ground as he braced himself with his hands on either side of Loki’s head. Loki let out soft cries and moans, keening when he was stopped from all movement and felt his blood run hot.

“Please…” he whined “Thor, please…”

That voice and the way Loki strained against him, made Thor realize how close he was. But Loki beat him. He gave a sharp, high pitched yell and went taut under him, releasing hot and wet under Thor.

Thor gave a harsh yell, bit Loki’s neck enough to make Loki startle and cry out before he came over Loki’s clothes with tightly clenched teeth, his scream and the taste of Loki’s blood in his mouth.

He fell on Loki, shaking like a leaf, shaking like he was dying, and panted for breath.

***

Loki whimpered.

And that made Thor open his eyes as they lay still on the ground. He raised his head and saw the bloody mark left on Loki’s neck, harsh and cruel.

Loki watched the guilt settle in his eyes and placed two slim fingers on Thor’s blood stained lips.

“Not a word” Loki said “It will be alright”

Thor wanted to say a thousand words, but he couldn’t.

So he kissed Loki’s fingers and gave him a small, affectionate glare before licking Loki’s them.

Loki yelped and pulled his fingers back before gasping when his injury hurt.

Thor’s eyes went wide “Loki…”

“If you carry me, I will cry” Loki warned.

Thor froze in the face of that threat and nodded meekly.

“It’s just a bite” Loki said, sitting up and pushing Thor off, waving a hand to clean them both.

He placed a hand over the wound, wincing when it hurt and grimacing when he saw fresh blood on his hand.

“Damn Aesir teeth” Loki muttered “always knew you wanted to eat me”

Thor chuckled and stood, extending a hand for Loki to take “Come along, we will finish this in our tent”

Loki looked up, eyes wide “Truly?”

“Aye” Thor pulled him up when Loki grabbed his hand “after I fix that”

“I can do it myself” Loki pressed down to stem the bleeding as Thor led him back.

“I know” Thor smiled and looked at him “but one of the privileges of being a husband, is that I get the chance to heal you after a scrape or two.”

He gave Loki a sidelong glance.

“Or in your case, your insatiable lust”

Loki gaped at him and flushed deeply, making Thor laugh and kiss his slackened mouth.

Cheers erupted a moment later and Loki realized they had been seen.

His face burned in embarrassment and to his chagrin, they all started applauding Thor.

Bragi didn’t applaud, though, he was watching them carefully as he lay draped over a smooth rock, looking as lazy as a panther.

“So” Balder walked over “May I approach without risk of beheading?”

Thor chuckled and Loki blushed even deeper, hiding his face on Thor’s arm.

He heard the golden god laugh and put an arm around him, leading him to the tent.

“An hour, please”

Loki groaned as the cheers got louder when they went into their tent and let the door flap shut.

And for a moment, he knew what it would feel like if he had friends.

“You can come out, now” Thor said, shaking him a little.

“I want to die” Loki said “I’m so embarrassed”

Thor sniggered “No, forget it. Turn around, let me see”

Loki sighed, pried himself away from Thor and raised his flushed face to his “I don’t like you”

Thor smirked “It’s okay, I don’t like you either”

Loki laughed softly and removed his hand.

It had dripped blood under his collar and he saw Thor’s expression turn guilty.

“Stop it, Thor” Loki said “it was not… oh, for Norn’s sake!”

Loki leaned forward, annoyed and rested his lips against Thor’s for a hard, punishing kiss.

Thor blinked when Loki pulled back and glared at him, then licked his lips when he realized Loki had bit him and burst it.

He stared at his consort in minor disbelief.

“There” Loki said “we are now even”

Thor knew, at that moment, that he could never express the warmth and peace that flowed through him at Loki’s act.

So he settled for showing Loki.

He placed a hand behind Loki’s neck, careful of the bite mark, and kissed his forehead.

“Good” Loki said softly when he was let go “now let’s do what we came here to do”

Thor nodded and went to where he had kept his own bag, complete with the few items needed to heal small injuries.

Loki could have easily healed himself with magic, but he rather liked the fact that Thor fussed over him like this.

It was a sort of guilty pleasure and he didn’t think he wanted to let that go.

So, when Thor returned, he obediently stretched out his neck, tipped his head aside and smiled when he saw Thor take a large gulp.

This way, he could almost feel like Thor was right.

Almost.

***

Loki sat, shirtless and fidgeting nervously because of it as Thor healed the mark on his neck.

He placed the sterilizing liquid on it and Loki hissed at how it stung him.

“Forgive me” Thor leaned over and blew gently on it, making Loki shudder “Are you alright?”

“Get on with it” Loki growled.

He was getting impatient and the desire to let Thor have him was slowly waning. He was getting a little irritated because the longer he sat, the more he wanted to do only one thing.

Sleep.

Loki was tired, both in body and mind and he wanted to sleep, close his eyes and just – sleep. Perhaps for a whole day!

The beds under his rump were so soft and inviting that he didn’t even care that he hadn’t had dinner yet.

All he wanted was a pillow and rest.

Today had been – unpleasant – and Loki wanted some peace. He wanted to sleep.

But he had made such a big deal about wanting Thor to…

He couldn’t back out now, not when Thor had agreed.

He had to stifle a yawn behind his hand and consciously open his drooping eyes.

“Loki?”

“Hmm?” Loki asked, giving a proper answer seemed too much at the moment.

“The healing is going to take some time, why don’t you lie back a while?”

Loki hummed once more and allowed Thor to pull him back against his massive chest, holding him there by placing his jaw on Loki’s head. His arms came around to frame Loki’s as they fell in his lap and he began a soothing massage with one thumb over the back of Loki’s hand.

“You look like you are about to fall asleep” Thor kissed his hair.

Loki wanted to deny it, but he was so tired “I’m sorry”

“Don’t be” Thor chuckled “You had a rough day”

“I did, didn’t I?” Loki asked, closing his eyes “Thor, can you sing?”

“Sometimes”

“What does that even mean?” Loki sniggered

“It means I can sing when I am properly motivated” Thor said against Loki’s soft hair.

“What if I ask nicely?” Loki yawned.

“That would be enough”

“Thor?”

“Yes, Loki?”

“Will you please sing to me?”

Thor smiled “Of course, Beloved, what song do you wish to hear?”

“Any one you like” Loki hummed, turning his head to the side to cushion it properly and sighing softly “I just want to hear your voice”

It was probably a compliment hidden in there, but Thor wasn’t looking for it at the moment. He nodded and kissed Loki’s hair once more before he rested his chin on Loki’s shoulder and wrapped his arms tightly around him.

He began to hum a song his mother sang to him years ago. He knew the words by heart, longing to sing it to his children when he had them but right now, Loki wanted only his voice and his voice he would give.

So he sang and hummed and smiled as he recalled what he saw whenever his mother sung to him.

He pictured a princess, trapped and alone by a dragon waiting for her love to set her free, he saw a noble warrior, poor of birth with no station to speak of and he saw him sell everything to save that princess, he saw the man fight the dragon and he saw the battle last for days on end, he saw the princess waiting for him, cheering for him and he saw the final blow he gave the dragon. Thor pictured the man stumbling, he saw the man dying. He saw the fatal wound the dragon had left and he saw the princess crying for her hero. He saw her weep for weeks before she buried him, he saw her walk back home, he saw her being named Queen and he saw her eventual wedding and the son she would name after the warrior he didn’t get the chance to know.

It was a sad tale and one that had Thor sleeping by the second verse. When he was old enough, he made Frigga sing it so he could memorize and then he sung it with her often enough.

He looked down now and smiled when he saw Loki fast asleep against him, snoring lightly. His dark lashed rested upon his cheeks and Thor raised a hand to softly stroke his high cheekbone.

 

He pulled back a little, setting Loki on the soft bedding and pulling the fur up to his chin. He kept humming, no real path to the song, and brushed Loki’s hair back, stroked his cheek and smiled when Loki leaned into it with a sigh.

Thor smiled.

Loki’s mind may have chosen Byleistr, but his heart seemed to choose Thor.

That was a consolation Thor grasped like a dying man. He rested his hand on Loki’s head as a blessing before he kissed his forehead and whispered a prayer he learned from Odin.

He blew out all but one candle and stood to leave the tent, his exit accentuated by Loki’s snoring.

***

Past midnight and past Fandral’s watch as he dozed, two figures walked into Thor and Loki’s tent.

They were silent, careful, as they moved in and observed the two sleeping figures. Thor was on his side, snoring loud enough to wake the dead and Loki lay flat on his back, one arm used as a pillow while the other rested over his heart. His eyes were closed, fluttering every now and then in his deep sleep and his chest moved up and down gently.

One of the figures sniggered and the other shoved a little, gesturing for silence.

The first sobered and nodded, raising hands in apology.

Then, as one, they bent low and grabbed the edges of Loki’s sleeping mat, slowly dragging it out. They froze, staring at him when Loki shifted in sleep, their hearts in their throats. But when Loki did nothing but rest back and sleep again, they relaxed and started dragging him out again. The tent flap slipped off him, making Loki’s pale skin glow in the moonlight and he frowned a little at the light but remained asleep.

Reflected in the moonlight, the two pulled Loki along and hauling him to a collection of scraped off bark, large twigs and what was once a tree trunk, that made up a makeshift raft.

One end was securely tied to a firm standing tree using a thick rope to make sure the raft didn’t really go anywhere; it just hovered over the deepest part of the river, stumbling around but never dropping.

When they reached the bank, the slimmer figure went to take bring the raft closer while the other, muscular one gently lifted Loki into his arms.

Like a child he man didn’t stir and they wondered if he had been drunk before he slept.

But since it was working in their favor, neither dwelled on it long and moved forward with their plan.

The slimmer one steadied the raft as the other gently placed the prince inside, making sure he didn’t wake before time, and stepped back, helping set the raft carefully in the water and watching it rock Loki further to sleep.

Theoric chuckled and held out a hand for Sif to slap as she came over and placed an elbow on his shoulder, watching Loki sleep in the raft.

“This is better than when we did it to Thor” Theoric whispered.

“So much better” Sif threw a glance at Fandral, who was sleeping while he sat up.

“What would you wager that our dear friend Fandral had a little too much to drink?” Sif asked.

“Nothing” Theoric followed her gaze “I agree with you”

She hummed and stepped back, looking to where she had to share with Idunn.

“I have to say, this is a great welcome and far better than sleeping alongside Idunn”

Theoric chuckled “You know, I wouldn’t mind sleeping alongside…”

Sif smacked him behind the head, shutting him up.

“Enough” she rasped “let’s go and sleep so we may wake to the sound of distant screaming”

Theoric’s laugh was slightly sadistic and Sif furrowed her brow, a hint of regret going through her at agreeing to his midnight prank, but then he nodded and tightened the rope further to avoid breaking, and she relaxed.

They bade each other goodnight and went to their separate tents to await Loki’s awakening.

***

It was a scream that woke him.

Thor shot up in bed at dawn and paled when he saw neither Loki nor his bed beside him.

“ _Thor_!” Loki’s terrified scream came from afar and the god of Thunder shot out of the tent, his heart in his throat.

He gasped when he saw Loki trying to stand on an extremely wobbly raft, his hands extended to his sides and fear etched on his face.

“Loki!” Thor roared and ran forward.

Behind him, the others ran out of their beds, weapons ready because of the screaming.

Balder looked around frantically before he ran to follow Thor, pulling up the sleeve of a tunic as he moved.

“Hold on!” Thor said, running forward and stopping at the bank.

Loki looked at him, panic written all over his face “Thor!”

“I’m coming, darling, just don’t move” Thor wadded into the water, faltering at the current threatened to take his feet out from under him “Look at me, Loki, don’t look down.”

Loki, who had been doing just that, looked up and whimpered when Thor stumbled a little.

The raft jolted and Loki cried out, falling on his hands and knees, making the whole thing shake violently.

“I’m almost to you” Thor called, extending a hand “take my hand”

Loki, almost frozen in fear, forced himself to comply, raising a shaking hand to reach out for Thor. And then what everyone feared, happened.

A strong current hit Loki’s raft and it toppled over.

Loki gave a high pitched scream and fell into the water, swept away almost instantly.

“Norns above, not again!” Thor yelled and took a deep breath, diving after him.

Behind him, Balder heard laughing and turned to see Thor’s friends dissolved into giggles.

He saw Sigyn and Idunn standing, gaping at the whole scene while Bragi watched them with slit eyes.

A chill went up Balder’s spine and he turned back to Thor.

Loki gasped and clawed at the water as it tried to kill him, moving his arms and legs gracelessly in _some_ attempt at swimming when he saw Thor near.

Soon, thick arms grabbed him and Loki gasped loudly, latching on to Thor and pulling him close.

Thor swam back with one arm holding Loki until they were on shallow waters and collapsed, hugging Loki to his chest.

Loki held him close, panting as his heart beat loudly and his fear started to diminish.

“I h-hate your friends”

Thor bit his lip as Loki confirmed his suspicion and put his arms around his lover “I know, Loki, I think at the moment … I do, too”

Loki hummed and rubbed his wet face in Thor’s neck, feeling exposed, stupid and _humiliated_.

He had been lying outside, half naked all night. _They_ had looked at him as much as they wanted to, _touched_ him while he slept with no tunic on.

He felt _violated_ and that was what scared him more than the water.

Every since he was a child, he had avoided being bare before others, not even his father when he was alive. It was an instinctual habit because he cherished his modesty.

But last night …

Loki whimpered and Thor held him close, just as clothed as he was.

“I will have words with them” Thor growled “They know they went too far”

And even though it physically hurt Loki to say it, he forced himself to.

“Forget it” he whispered, holding Thor close “it was a joke, nothing more”

“Loki, they…”

“Just a joke” Loki held him tighter “Forget it, dearest”

 _Dearest_ …

That calmed Thor more than anything else because it was the first time Loki had called him such.

Dearest…

He felt dear to Loki, like Loki cared for him.

Dearest…

Such power in so small a word, such meaning. 

And, if Thor wanted to see it, love.

He smiled and tightened his arms on Loki once more, kissing his head.

A twig crunched somewhere and Loki instantly tensed against him, making Thor sit up and shield him behind his back.

But it was only Balder, arriving with two furs for them both.

Thor relaxed but Loki remained tense, averting his gaze as he turned bright pink in shame and covered his chest and abdomen with his arms and hiding further behind Thor.

They had seen enough for today.

“Here” Balder said, his eyes darting here and there, avoiding what he truly wished to look at “I gave them an earful so both of you can expect an apology when you get back.”

Thor nodded his thanks and took the furs, but didn’t move to un-shield Loki “Thank you. We shall be along, brother”

Balder nodded and walked back, making his way back to camp where Sif and Theoric were getting scolded by the rest of the clan.

It wasn’t funny because Loki was scared to death.

And everyone else seemed to agree with him.

As he walked, his gaze managed to look over his shoulder, at Thor and Loki while they covered themselves.

Without really knowing it, Balder’s gaze went from Loki’s face, down his long throat, to his perfect chest, his flat stomach and the dip of his hips.

It was still one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen and he was so hypnotized he never noticed the muscled figure before him.

It was only when he was a foot away that Balder turned.

He gasped, stuttering to a stop when he came face to face with Bragi, his wide blue eyes staring into his golden ones.

Bragi narrowed his eyes before grabbing Balder’s arm, making him gasp and freeze in dread.

“One warning” Bragi rasped, leaning closer even as Balder paled and pulled at his arm “One warning is all I give, Balder.”

Balder watched, heart racing as Bragi glared at him.

“Stay away from Loki” Bragi said “Understand?”

Balder’s mouth parted but no sounds came out.

“I said, did you understand me, brother?” Bragi hissed, tightening his grip.

“Yes” Balder whispered.

He stumbled when Bragi released him and stepped back, putting an acceptable distance between the two of them.

“Good” Bragi said “don’t make me come back with the same request. I will not be this pleasant again”

Balder swallowed and nodded, relaxing only when Bragi turned and left, the harsh contours of his face the last thing Balder saw before he vanished within the trees.

From the distance, sitting in the coolest shade and running his foot in the water that had gathered near him, Byleistr smiled.

His plan to teach Loki a lesson just got more interesting.


	15. Hunted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Hunt begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://th04.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2013/165/5/1/bragi_odinson_by_satanssin-d68yzhi.png
> 
> This is Bragi
> 
> Made by Celestialess

The incident wasn’t forgotten – just dulled.

No one gloated about it, no one discussed and absolutely no one laughed at it.

Thor’s anger was infamous, but it was effective. Sif and Theoric both knew they had been _extremely_ lucky Thor hadn’t ripped them to shreds the moment he saw them.

True, they saw the exact desire in his eyes and mentally got their affairs in order as he approached, but when they saw Loki, shielding himself behind Thor’s girth, holding the fur to him with one hand and resting the other over Thor’s arm, they knew they were safe.

The boy had a calming effect on Thor; like a balm, like something that took all his pain away. Thor wasn’t angry as long as he was with Loki and they wondered if it was Loki’s silent maturity that had anything to do with it.

The boy might be ten years younger than him, but in terms of mentality, he was centuries ahead of Thor.

He seemed to think, calculate and plan before acting and even then, as Thor had made an angry movement, Loki had placed a hand over his arm and stopped him.

Visibly calming under his touch, Thor had settled on giving both Sif and Theoric a death glare before letting Loki lead him back into their tent.

They had emerged, dried and looking better some time later and acted as if nothing had happened.

The others took the hint and went about, preparing lunch before they would go hunting.

Nothing seemed to have changed other than Byleistr’s attitude.

Having spent last night moping within the trees, he had apparently decided there was nothing wrong with spending time with the Aesir and they noticed he _looked_ apologetic.

No one truly believed him but they said nothing and allowed him to make some amends, especially with the way he treated Thor; it was almost, somewhat like respect.

It amused the others to a mild extent but it made Bragi watch the Jotun even closely than before. His eyes followed him everywhere, taking in everything and never wavering.

Even now, as they all joined in to make a large breakfast, Byleistr offered no complaints when he was assigned to making sure the porridge was kept warm while the others ate and kept stirring it while chatting to Fandral in light humor.

Though the charming man seemed at ease, Loki could clearly make out his tense shoulders, the way his hand rested upon the hilt of his sword and the lethal look in his eyes only years of hard training could place there.

Loki lifted his gaze to his brother and realized he had never really seen Byleistr this _relaxed_ before. It was like he hadn’t a care at the moment and wanted to enjoy this trip in earnest.

It was interesting to see what Loki’s absence could do to Byleistr’s mind.

He was smirking at Fandral as they talked and asked if he was stirring it at the right speed, then shoving Fandral away in good humor when the other wanted to taste and check.

Fandral growled at him and Byleistr rolled his eyes.

Loki flinched when Byliestr’s crimson gaze met his own and Byleistr rolled his eyes in disgust before looking away.

That truly stung and Loki wanted to run to his tent again.

Thor, however, seemed to have guessed his intention because he placed a large hand on Loki’s arm to halt him then placed a bowl of porridge in his hands, gave him a wooden spoon and told him to eat.

Loki looked at the food, lifted the porridge and dropped it slowly back in the bowl, his mouth turning tight with disgust.

Thor laughed and told him to shove it down because it would keep getting thicker, then demonstrated.

Again, Loki made a face but poked the tip of his tongue out to taste a little.

It wasn’t bad, not like Loki had thought it would be and took a slightly larger bite, savoring the sweetness.

“Well?” Thor asked, digging into his own.

“It’s…good” Loki proved it by taking another swallow “One of the better things I have tasted”

“Really?” Idunn, already sitting on Loki’s other side, scooted closer “Like what? Something in Jotunhiem?”

“Aye” Loki told her “My host, one of the more wonderful people I know, made this strange compilation of herbs and spices, he is a wonder in those to be honest, and they tasted like something had beaten itself to death in my mouth”

“Eloquent” Balder muttered, sniggered.

Idunn and Thor laughed

“Is he the same friend that swooned when he saw Father?” Thor asked

Loki swallowed before speaking “As a matter of fact, yes he is”

Thor laughed and turned to the others to retell Odin’s tale, exaggerated by his hands and their movements.

Loki watched him, mesmerized by how beautiful Thor looked when he talked and got as excited as he was now. As he stirred the conversation from Odin’s tale to how _he_ had made a woman swoon, growling when Balder told him it was because of his stench, then going on to tales about his battles and fighting and winning.

He told them about a threat he dealt with his friends from Earth, the people he’d named his horses after and Loki’s eyes went wide when he talked about one Tony Stark.

“Glowing heart?” Loki asked, wonder on his face.

“Aye” Thor, who had stood to demonstrate his battle moves, sat back down “he made it himself, out of sheer wit and genius. And his home talks”

Loki gaped “That can’t be true”

“It is” Thor told him “It once told me to clothe myself before leaving my taken chambers”

A round of laughter followed and Loki blushed. Idunn found it endearing and kissed his cheek, forcing his ears to turn red.

Sigyn pointed to him and chuckled while Theoric cleared his throat.

“If I may” he began “Have you ever hunted before, Loki?”

Loki looked at him, then darted his gaze aside, thanking he was already red so no one saw the transition from embarrassed to ashamed.

“No” he looked at the ground “None, actually, but I have read about it and know it theoretically.”

There was a small hum before Volstagg cleared his throat “Then you shall ride with me, lad, I shall teach you everything there is to know in a matter of moments”

“Aye,” Thor scoffed “just sit on it and suffocate it.”

Thor chuckled at Volstagg’s indignant growl and the laughter that followed “Besides, Loki shall ride with me”

“Never!” Volstagg stood, affronted “I shall fight for the right to keep this young lad at my side!”

“No, it’s alright…” Loki began but Thor stood, too.

“Not without a proper fight, you won’t!”

Loki gaped, close to panicking when Idunn rested a hand on his shoulder and shook her head.

“Don’t worry” she whispered “it’s their way of apologizing”

Loki stared at her, then at Fandral when he, too, stood, demanding his name to be placed in the contest.

He was stunned when Theoric and Hogun stood as well, then Sigyn. Loki frowned when Balder took a while to move, joining in when prompted by his brother.

Bragi watched them all carefully and Sif kept an eye on Byleistr.

“Alas!” Thor roared, placing a fist over his heart “A declaration!”

There were moans of boredom and resignation and Loki couldn’t help but chuckle when Theoric muttered ‘Not again…’

“A declaration!” Thor repeated, extending a hand to Loki “he who wins the race, shall have the honor of riding alongside my husband all day, should Loki accept”

All eyes turned on him and Loki felt incredibly self conscious.

“I …” Loki began, then felt Idunn’s hand give him a squeeze “Alright?”

Cheers followed and Fandral slapped Theoric on the back with a cry of ‘good luck’.

Loki took a deep breath, preparing himself before he spoke “However…”

Silence fell as he was once more the attention of everyone. Thor raised a brow, a smile on his lips.

“I decide how you race” Loki said, handing his near empty bowl to Idunn and getting to his feet.

He wasn’t really comfortable about this, but they were really making an effort for him, so he could at least reciprocate. 

Byleistr slit his gaze.

“Since a race is all I am worth” he began teasingly, “I shall decide a penalty for the person who finishes last. I assume that is acceptable?”

Thor grinned at him while the others _all_ agreed.

There was excited chatter a moment before silence fell and they looked at Loki again.

Loki leaned to the side to look at the stream.

“From that bend” Loki pointed, then turned to the opposite end “to that rock. The person to climb that wins”

“That’s it?” Fandral asked “I can do that easily, at least give me a challenge”

“You run in the water” Loki said

They gaped – Thor laughed.

“And sabotage is allowed all but three times”

Even Hogun managed a small smile.

“I’d like to join”

Loki paled, his stomach knotting when Byleistr stood, towering over them.

“It seems easy and adding a Jotun would increase the difficulty”

There were a few awkward moments where no one said anything, no one wanted him along, but no one wanted to offend him, either, so they all went into thought.

“Count me in as well”

As though things weren’t awkward before, Bragi joined in as well. Balder looked right about to pass out and Theoric grinned; he had nothing against him.

“Finally!” Theoric said “true competition!”

Loki blinked when Theoric spun to him, a hand on Bragi’s shoulders.

“If ever was a man more destined to water than mermaids, it’s him” Loki was told “he can swim three lengths of this river in one breath and still have enough to boast”

Loki nodded, because there was little else he could do, and looked at the men and women gathered before him. 

They seemed so easy around each other, save his brother, that something tugged at Loki’s heart.

He wanted to feel like he belonged with them, like he was worth the time they spent with him and that he would joke with them and be happy.

“So” Thor said, clapping his hands “Shall we begin?”

“Who will judge?”

“I will” Sif stood and walked over “We need someone fair to see who wins. And I shall make sure no one cheats”

“Excellent!” Fandral beamed and looked about “is everyone ready, then?”

There were loud cheers, louder still when Idunn announced her herself a part of the race, too, then a cacophony of sound as all of them walked towards the water, yelling and mocking each other, making so much _noise_ that it helped Loki forget the unpleasantness hovering around him and his brother.

They reached the bend that was the starting line and Loki realized his folly when Thor stripped off his tunic and casually handed it to Loki, winking when Loki blushed brightly.

“That’s not fair!” Idunn said “Our dresses will get wet”

“Then by all means, madam” Theoric slipped out of his own garment “Take them off”

He yelled when Balder hit his head a moment later.

“I can…” Loki said “charm them”

Idunn beamed and skipped over, followed by Sigyn. They bowed to him and he waved a hand, rendering them both waterproof.

When they went back, Idunn stuck her tongue out at Theoric and went to stand beside Balder.

Balder, like the other Aesir men, was far too casual about semi nudity and Loki noticed, for the first time, the muscles and strength that the first prince held and he had to blink a few times and turn away, breath quickening.

Next to Thor, Bragi’s sleek, lethal muscles shone in the light and Idunn stared at him unabashedly till Balder noticed and blocked her view, eliciting a growl when she simply jumped up ahead to keep looking.

Volstagg made Loki yelp and turn aside and Hogun – looked grim even when he was half naked.

Loki wished he had remained with Sif and started to walk to her, keeping as far away from the halfway orgy behind him.

Byleistr walked up as Loki went back and the younger brother dropped his gaze, holding on to Thor’s tunic as he went to the point where he could see the race and not have to touch the deep water.

Byleistr ignored him completely as he walked ahead and stepped into the water, looming over the others, satisfied that he would win.

There wasn’t a sign as to what he was thinking so when Bragi saw him eyeing Loki, he went on alert.

They were in the middle of a forest and didn’t need a fight between Thor and the Jotun. And Bragi _knew_ Byleistr hadn’t joined in good spirit.

So, as everyone readied themselves, Bragi leaned back and caught Fandral’s eye, pointing to Byleistr and signaling him to attack.

Fandral nodded and watched the large prince, then looked to where Sif held both her hands above her head.

She watched them all, smiled when Sigyn lifted the dress above her ankles and looked like a bull about to charge.

Even Loki sniggered when he caught sight of her and waved when Idunn winked at him.

Sif waved her hands, got everyone’s attention.

She showed three fingers.

Thor bit his lip, arms extended as though he was prepared for battle.

Sif showed them two fingers.

Balder looked at Bragi and repressed the shudder that went through him and set his feet firmly under the water.

One finger.

Byleistr’s eyes went to Loki and he narrowed them in threat.

Sif brought her hand down in a vicious arc and they ran.

***

Loki laughed because the moment the race began, his graceless, extremely ready husband was pushed into the water by Balder as the First Prince began to lurch forward.

At that same instant, both Bragi and Fandral latched onto Byleistr’s legs, making him yell and fall into the water, sending a massive wave ahead, almost drowning everyone.

Volstagg kicked Hogun’s legs from under him, then waddled forward, yelping when Theoric leapt over him and into the water, taking the lead.

Behind him, Idunn moved like an ungraceful hen and Sigyn took stunning leaps, reminding Loki of elegant gazelles he’d seen in books.

Thor tore out of the water and ran forward, in last place, but yanked on Sigyn’s ankle to send her toppling into the water. He laughed and lurched forward, eyes on Balder.

Byleistr sat up and saw that he was now at the end of the line and stood, ready to leap over everyone when he was tackled from the side and sent splashing back into the water.

By Fandral.

Theoric, who was in the lead, yelled when someone latched onto his back and pulled them both in the water. When he spluttered and came up for air he saw Balder wave at him and take first place.

Thor saw Volstagg pull Hogun back and used the opportunity to grab Idunn as she wobbled beside him, haul her into his arms and throw her in the water, laughing at her shriek of surprise.

As expected, Balder turned back and Thor shoved him in the water, leaping like an ungraceful monkey to where Sif could barely stand because of her laughter.

Loki was likewise floored, pointing at them all and laughing at their antics.

Behind him, Thor heard Byleistr stand up and whirl around, ready to tackle the next person to attack him.

But Bragi was stealthier and came from behind, jumping and catching both his knees in a vicious tackle, sending them both in the water.

And for the first time in years; Byleistr laughed.

It seemed that Thor would be the winner as he waddled over like a duck to Sif, hand extended to tap, but Theoric jumped out from nowhere and caught him around the waist, sending them both into the water and leaving it open for a small, petite blonde figure.

Idunn jumped over Thor and Theoric and slapped Sif’s hand before screaming in joy and jumping about, having won.

Loki, who could barely sit, he was laughing so hard, howled and began to clap loudly while everyone else groaned.

They were panting and gasping for breath and Idunn gave an exaggerated sigh before falling back into the water.

Balder fished her out a moment later and held her in his arms like a gallant warrior before she bestowed a kiss upon his heroic mouth.

Volstagg groaned and sat on a flat rock and Sif stopped laughing long enough to jump into the river and exhale in satisfaction.

At the very end, Bragi came out of the water, walking forward slowly as he pushed his hair back and making all three women stare at him as water glistened off his muscular body and stopped where his trousers settled low on his hips. They inclined their heads to the side as he came out, the water going lower and lower over his muscled abdomen, shimmering and making them realize that he was part elf and _extremely_ good looking.

Loki didn’t realize he had his head cocked and was staring at the golden eyed man until Thor cleared his throat, suddenly beside him.

Loki looked up and blushed, hiding his smile behind Thor’s tunic with a sheepish grin as he watched his husband with large, guilty looking eyes.

Thor slit his in mock warning, realizing that there was a difference between Loki _looking_ guilty and Loki _feeling_ guilty.

He growled and grabbed Loki’s cheek between two knuckles and giving him a squeeze hard enough to leave him yelping.

“Thor!” Loki slapped his hand away, rubbing his abused cheek as Thor went back into the water.

He shook his head, wondering what the hell became of the ‘hunt’ they were on and leaned against a tree to watch.

He kept his gaze away from Byleistr as he lay back in the soothing waters, letting them cool him.

Fandral started swimming under the surface and pulling everyone’s feet out from under them until Theoric, Balder and Thor grabbed him and hauled him out, spinning as one large machine and hurling him yards away into the water with a large splash.

They laughed when he emerged looking like something an animal spit out and came back to wrestle.

Loki watched them and longed desperately to go in with them, but feared their laughing tongues.

He didn’t want to get his clothes wet, either, but that was just a lame excuse.

“You know, you can join them”

Loki turned to see Bragi pad over, massaging a shoulder, and Loki turned his head forward, fixing on Thor’s head.

“I…” Loki cleared his throat “I’m fine”

“You could wear Thor’s tunic, you know” Bragi said kindly “He won’t mind; in fact I think it will make him rather happy”

Loki couldn’t help himself “Why do you care? The last time I was with you, I was extremely rude and unjust”

He shrugged and leaned against a nearby tree “I’m used to it, I guess. It doesn’t bother me anymore. Now go on, everyone will watch out for you, trust me”

Loki bit his lips in indecision but Thor turned then and waved him over and Loki grinned before running back to his tent to change.

Bragi shook his head at what had become of this hunt and walked back in the water, ready to swim as long as he wanted.

***

When Loki came back a few minutes later, Thor couldn’t help but stare.

He wore Thor’s tunic and Thor’s trousers, held up by a belt around his tapered waist and stopped at the edge of the water, putting his barefoot in with a smile before he came in fully, making a beeline for Thor and latching onto his side as the water reached their chests.

With a strong arm around his waist, Thor held Loki to himself and looked into his pale face, so happy and excited and scared all at the same time.

“Prince Loki!” 

Loki looked up to see Idunn walk forward, doing a graceful breaststroke before she came to stand before them.

“I won”

“I know” Loki smiled and swayed a little as the currents hit him “and you and I shall ride on Erik, my beautiful lady”

Idunn beamed “I knew you would say something like that”

“Of course, I was merely describing the truth as I see it in your form and grace” Loki went on, grinning when Thor chuckled.

Idunn blushed again and raised a hand to slap Loki’s arm.

“Where do you learn these things?”

Loki shrugged “Books, unlike someone”

Thor laughed when Loki nudged his ribs and glared at him.

“I’ll let you go”

“Go ahead” Loki countered “I have Idunn to save me”

“Aye” Idunn said, taking up a battle stance.

A screech made them look and see Theoric holding Sigyn like a bride and spinning her around before throwing her afar, in the deep water, her scream of delight reached the skies.

Idunn’s eyes went large “Balder!”

Loki chuckled and put his arms around Thor’s waist as Idunn made Balder carry her and spin her, then throw her into the water.

Sif’s scream was next when Fandral did the same and soon, the game increased.

Thor looked at Loki and the raven haired man bit his lip when he realized they could sneak away without being noticed.

He nodded and Thor turned, walking past the bend, and back to where their camp was set. Their wet clothes dripped water but neither cared as they walked into their tent, waiting only long enough for Thor to latch the flap before they met each other with a passion that seemed to sear them.

***

“Loki…” Thor began

“Quiet!” Loki hissed, moving closer with so much bravado it surprised him “Not another word or I will… I will go and stare at Bragi all day”

Thor gaped at him and his new threat “Where do you come up with these threats?”

Loki shrugged and in a shockingly bold move, walked up so that they were face to face and gently placed his hands on Thor’s chest.

He shuddered, his breathing breaking as he felt that beautiful skin under his fingertips. It was amber and strength and Loki realized he’d wanted Thor the very first time he saw him.

He swallowed as he thought of his time in the camp and shook his head before he fixed his gaze on Thor’s throat and tried to forget it.

Thor frowned and tipped his chin up “What’s wrong?”

Loki shook his head and smiled at him softly “Kiss me”

Thor smirked and raised a brow “So demanding”

Loki thought about it before he spoke “Kiss me, please?”

Thor laughed “As you wish, Beloved”

Thor pulled him closer, snaking his arms around Loki’s tapered waist, his dripping clothes and pressed them both together, ignoring the drops at fell on and around their bare feet. His mouth latched onto

Loki’s and he groaned, eyes closing, brow furrowing as his passion took over.

Loki sighed into Thor’s mouth, one arm around those large shoulders while the other cupped his cheek, pulling back a little before he tilted his head aside for better access.

Thor groaned and stepped forward, making Loki step back, once, twice until Loki’s feet came and rested over Thor’s sleeping mat.

Loki broke off the kiss and gasped, throwing his head back when Thor started to kiss down his neck and holding on tight when he was lowered to lay flat on his back.

“Thor…”

Thor growled against his damp, cooled skin, opening the tunic first before grabbing the hem and lifting it, placing a kiss on Loki’s flat stomach and making him shudder.

“Yes, my darling?”

“Hurry up” Loki whispered “before something else…gets in the way”

Thor smiled against Loki’s belly “Nothing will stop this”

He moved his lips up, lifting the tunic higher until Loki arched himself to help take it off and threw it aside, straddling Loki and looking down at him.

Immediately, Loki felt self conscious and placed his arms around him.

“What’s wrong?” he asked

Thor shook his head and smiled “Nothing – you’re perfect”

This way, Thor discovered that Loki’s blush started from his neck and rose up to his face and ears.

He smiled and lowered himself until he looked down at Loki, hands on either side of his head.

“Beautiful” Thor told him and Loki turned brighter, still.

“Stop talking, Thor” Loki turned his head away, his expression turning sad “Just…move”

Some of Thor’s elation vanished at Loki’s stout refusal to believe him when he said this, but he did as Loki asked and made Loki look at him before he kissed him again.

As Loki slid his arms around Thor’s neck, he could forget what his brother said and fool himself enough to enjoy what Thor gave him.

He gasped when he felt Thor’s hand between his legs and whined loudly when he was stroked through the wet cloth.

“Thor…” he gasped, moving against his hand “yes, please…”

Thor chuckled and kissed down his neck, his chest until he came to his stomach again.

“I could do this all day, Beloved”

Loki scoffed “Of course you can, you would do anything to avoid taking me”

Thor frowned and smiled at the angry voice before he looked at Loki and brought his hands down to pull off Loki’s wet, borrowed trousers.

Loki’s eyes never left his even as he lifted his hips and let Thor leave him naked. He shivered as the air met his cool skin and watched Thor move until he looked directly down at Loki.

Thor loomed over him now, hands on either side of loki’s head, legs spread out to trap Loki’s. And though he should have felt trapped, felt threatened, Loki – didn’t.

He felt elated and cherished and he knew it was all because of Thor. 

Thor, who was smiling down at him as he traced Loki’s jaw with a finger before tracing it down his long neck, his chest, stomach and lower. 

His hand touched Loki’s arousal, skin to skin and Loki gasped, choking as Thor resumed his kneading.

“Today,” Thor told him “I will have you, Loki, today, I shall cage you under me and pound you into the ground if you so wish”

Loki panted, his hands going to rest on Thor’s biceps as his actions and words tore him apart.

“Or I will be so gentle” Thor kissed his cheek, his temple and followed his hairline “that you will feel only pleasure and nothing will make sense other than me, nothing will spill from your lips other than my name and I will have you screaming in pleasure until you call for me again and again, Thor…Thor…”

Loki shuddered, gasping in excitement and moving his hips, lifting them against Thor’s hand as he felt his release come close.

“And when we get home” Thor kissed his shoulder, licked over to his neck and began to place large bites there, careful of the one he’d already inflicted “I will make you moan and gasp so loudly even the most shameless of Aesir will turn away, red-faced and mortified when they hear what I am doing to you”

“Thor!”Loki gasped and went taut, his heels digging into the mat, his nails scratching Thor’s arms and his mouth wide open, before he released, slick and hot all over Thor’s hands.

He fell back, gasping for air and shuddering because Thor had made him come with just his words.

He needed to learn how to do that.

He lifted his sated gaze to Thor a moment before they went wide.

Thor’s hand and arm glistened with his seed and Loki gasped, horrified at what he’d done.

“Oh, I …” he sat up to raise a placating hand to Thor “I’m sorry, I …”

Thor smiled and looked down at him “Don’t apologize, Beloved”

Then, keeping his blue eyes locked with Loki’s, he flicked out his tongue and began to lick his arm from elbow to wrist.

“I’ll have all of you”

Loki felt his jaw hang open as Thor took his spend as though it was the sweetest thing in the universe.

He was highly erotic and Loki was fixed on the sight as Thor’s lips and mouth took his seed from that bronzed skin. Thor’s eyes never left Loki and it sent shivers down the younger’s body as he watched, transfixed.

He gasped when Thor finished by licking his lips and fell back when Thor loomed over him.

“I’m going to take you now, Loki” Thor said, resting his hands on Loki’s knees and pushing them apart “and nothing is going to stop me”

Loki shuddered as excitement coursed through his veins and lay flat, letting Thor climb over him and slam their mouths together.

***

It was only when Loki realized that Thor was telling the truth, that he really intended on having him, that he felt a trickle of worry lance through him.

He had been so intent on feeling everything he had when he was with him that night that he had forgotten why it had ended.

Thor was _huge_ and Loki was …

He gulped and broke off the kiss, hissing in pleasure when Thor mouthed at his neck, making a mark on his perfect skin.

“Thor…” he swallowed audibly, placing his hands on Thor’s bare shoulders to gently nudge him off “Give … me a moment”

Thor pulled back and looked at him, blue eyes ever patient.

Loki licked his lips, heart hammering in his throat and chest, he was amazed Thor hadn’t yet heard it.

Loki gulped and looked up at Thor’s kind eyes “I … I mean the last time, you …”

“Loki” Thor said simply, leaning down and kissing the worry from Loki’s forehead “I will be careful”

He lowered his head and kissed his lover again, lingering and licking Loki’s tongue before he tasted his palate and skimmed over his teeth. When Loki moaned softly, Thor pulled back and looked at him.

“What happened to the eager lover I had a moment ago?” Thor joked, kissing his neck, his shoulders and right above his heart.

“He…” Loki swallowed “ran away when he saw your hammer”

Thor blinked and looked into Loki’s face and roared in laughter, resting his head on Loki’s chest as his mirth took him over.

Loki’s arms went around him and he held him close as Thor dissolved into humor “Alright, Thor, I am not tickling you, husband”

Thor chuckled and raised his head, kissing Loki on the mouth and sitting up, running his hands down Loki’s legs as he pulled back.

“Give me a moment” Thor leaned over Loki to get something from his bag and Loki blushed heavily when he realized it was oil.

Thor had _known_ something would happen and that embarrassed Loki because he was a wonton flirt that had made his desire so obvious.

Thor’s friends were probably calling him and animal or something lower.

But such thoughts were taken from him when Thor uncorked the bottle and looked at Loki for confirmation.

Loki swallowed, because this was really happening, and gave him a small nod, turning his head away instantly when Thor moved between his spread legs and inserted a single finger.

Loki’s mind may have dulled what happened, but his body remembered and he clenched nervously around Thor. He gasped when it pinched and bit his lip.

“Hush” Thor leaned over and kissed his chest “Relax, Beloved, I will take all the time you need, nothing like last time, I swear”

Loki nodded and relaxed as Thor went deeper.

He gasped loudly, arching his back as Thor’s fingers touched something that sparked _searing_ pleasure inside him.

“Thor!”

His hands tightened around Thor’s arms and his head tipped back as shot of burning pleasure went up and down his spine, threatening to take him apart piece by piece.

He panted loudly, almost screaming when Thor did it again.

“Yes, there…please, do that again…” Loki keened, arching himself off the ground “Please…please…”

Thor watched, mesmerized, as Loki became a wreck beneath him.

He kissed him again and Loki felt his heart stutter in his chest. It wasn’t all lust, it was the fact that _Thor_ someone so beautiful was doing this to him.

For him.

To please Loki.

His fingers touched him again and Loki arched again, feeling himself get weaker and weaker because he couldn’t take anymore. He arched his spine, trying to get more because Thor was being so gentle.

Thor licked at Loki’s mouth before he pushed his tongue in, experienced hands working on him as Thor added another finger.

Loki moaned loudly and moved his hips to rock against Thor’s hand. his breathing started to break and his eyes drooped as pleasure soared through him, as every movement of Thor’s fingers brought him closer to the edge.

“Thor” Loki gasped “enough, please just … just…”

Thor kissed him, probably to shut him up and slowly spread his fingers.

Loki screamed into his mouth and came for the second time as he lay under Thor.

He lay panting and trying to move the muscles that had become so relaxed, so when Thor lifted him up and placed his limp form in his lap, Loki couldn’t resist.

His hands came to rest upon Thor’s shoulders and he looked at him in time for Thor to kiss him again.

His mouth pulled at Loki’s lips and his tongue licked them as Thor’s hands made Loki straddle his lap while Thor sat on his knees. Loki’s legs were on either side of him and he pulled Thor closer, not realizing it until too late that Thor was starting to enter him from _this_ position.

“Thor, wait!” Loki gasped, breaking off the kiss and looking into his face “What are you doing?”

“It won’t hurt” Thor breathed, pulling him down and kissing him again “this way”

Loki couldn’t pull away because Thor was holding him tightly so he moaned into Thor’s mouth as he began to penetrate him.

***

Loki gasped, head raised as Thor slowly pushed himself in, going in till the hilt and stopping to let Loki adjust.

Loki was panting loudly, perspiration shining on his skin as he held on to Thor’s shoulders, trying to accommodate but feeling so _full_ and stretched that he was failing.

“Thor…” he complained, resting his forehead on Thor’s shoulder “Thor…it hurts…”

Thor kissed his shoulder when Loki whined and trembled in the effort to remain still. Loki was still new to the intrusion and it would be better if he didn’t take it too fast.

But Thor wasn’t one for control and he felt his slipping him slowly.

He didn’t want to hurt Loki, he didn’t think he could handle it again, but Loki was squirming and it made it even harder for Thor to remain still – not when he loved him the way he did.

“Loki…” Thor choked “Please, hurry…”

Loki stilled and slowly looked at Thor, realizing that his husband was losing what little control he had and could very easily break the promise he made of not hurting him.

A chill went up his spine and Thor noticed the fear that started dampening Loki’s eyes because he craned his neck and kissed him.

“Do not…” Thor gasped into the kiss “look at me like that… I will die rather than hurt you, Beloved”

Loki gave him a nervous chuckle “And what a way to go, it would be”

Thor smirked and laid his head against Loki’s chest “Just tell me…when”

Loki sat panting, his body trying to get rid of the intrusion and he whimpered when he automatically clenched against Thor’s girth – that had stung.

He took a deep, shuddering breath and Thor kissed him.

“I’ll wait forever, darling” Thor told him, kissing his shoulder, his collar, his neck “so take your time”

He would never get used to this, and Thor was trembling under his palms so Loki cleared his throat and pulled Thor closer.

“Al – Alright…” he panted as he rested his head on Thor’s shoulder “move”

Thor heaved a breath, gripped Loki’s hips tight enough to leave bruises and started moving him up and down slowly.

Loki gave a small, startled cry as he felt relief at Thor’s exit, then moaned when Thor pushed back, rubbed against him _inside_ and made sparks of pleasure rise.

He gasped in mild pleasure that the movement caused him and his nails dug into Thor’s shoulders.

“Yes…” Loki panted “Thor, you’re doing … it”

Thor chuckled and kissed his neck laying large kisses and large bites as Loki shuddered. Then Thor released the grip he had on his hips because Loki had started moving by himself, rocking back and forth slowly, tentatively.

“Beloved…” Thor groaned because he realized he was _desperate_ for this.

Nothing had ever felt _this_ good even if he was in _agony_ because he didn’t want to hurt Loki.

Thor gasped, his knees tightened around Thor’s ribs when he moved himself, taking Thor deeper, marking him with his nails and panting because it felt so damned _good_ now.

Thor was touching the spot inside that was making him whimper because the pleasure that went through him was _burning_ hot.

“Thor, I …” he whined, throwing his head back and arching his spine when Thor managed to graze that spot again “No… this….”

Thor, kissing up and down Loki’s chest, chuckled, fisted his hand in Loki’s hair and brought his mouth to kiss him into silence.

“Enough”

Loki groaned into the kiss then gasped when Thor threw him on his back and began to thrust in earnest.

“Thor!” Loki yelled, panting and whimpering when he was breached _all the way inside_ and raked Thor’s shoulders with his nails, leaving angry red marks and throwing his head back.

Thor pounded into him, kissed his slackened mouth and thrust in and out, faster and faster until Loki’s whimpers turned to near screams and he could only hold on and gasp for breath.

Loki was getting dizzy as so much ecstasy went through him, he didn’t know what to focus on, so he stared at Thor.

 _Thor_ who was so _beautiful_ as he moved over him, inside him, groaning as _Loki_ made him shake and shiver.

“Th- Thor…” he gasped, hair damp and plastered on his forehead “I can’t…”

He couldn’t hold on anymore and he _screamed_ when he felt Thor’s battle worn hard start to stroke him and pump his length.

“No…” he moaned, not wanting this to end so soon “Thor…”

Thor kissed him into silence, taking in his whimpers and moving his hand on him, giving him pleasure.

Loki moaned loudly, being rocked back and forth as Thor thrust into him, gasping as he felt himself _burn_ because of the attentions on his body and felt his orgasm collect at the base of his spine.

“Thor…” he broke off the kiss to moan loudly, sobbing when Thor began to mouth as his throat.

Thor hummed and increased the pressure of his mouth, hand and thrusts and there was nothing Loki could do.

He went taut, his back bowed off the damp bedding and he threw his head back to scream Thor’s name as he came all over Thor for a third time, wetting him and leaving him gasping.

Then Loki passed out.

When he opened his eyes, he saw Thor was _still_ moving and his limp body was rocked by the force of his thrusts, making him feel sore and used and so sated.

But he didn’t think he could take more and just as he whined in complaint, Thor arched his back, his face went anguished a moment before he shouted his release and Loki felt the slick, wet, hot fluid inside him and gasped at the spray. He flinched at it a moment before Thor fell on him.

Thor’s arms went around him, holding him to his massive chest and pressing kisses all over his face as he panted.

“Beloved…my Loki…” Thor gasped, then slid to the side, curling and pulling Loki back against him,

mouthing at his skin, kissing him and telling him how he was beautiful and cherished and precious.

And Loki heard nothing.

His eyes were fixed on the spot before him as realized something terrible; he was going to get pregnant.

*** 

“Now” Theoric said as he fixed the top of an arrow and looked around “is everyone ready or do you two need another hour?”

Snickering followed and Loki turned a bright red, dropping his gaze to the ground as Thor put an arm around him and laughed, turning red as well.

“Alright, enough” Thor ordered, waving a hand at his friends “We are here to catch something, not waste time”

“I’d say you already caught something” Balder muttered.

More snickering and Loki groaned in embarrassment.

How had he not thought of this?!

For all his intelligence and wit, it was rather silly of Loki _not_ to have considered Thor’s friends overhearing everything and taunting them the moment they came out of their tent.

Howls and cheers rose to the sky when Thor exited, Loki right behind him and startled the two lovers.

Thor had stood stunned and Loki had turned red before hiding behind Thor and trying not to look at how happy his brother looked.

He prayed to the norns that he wasn’t with child.

He’d just gotten over one obstacle, he couldn’t jump another, not this soon. Perhaps in another eight years? He would be old enough and hopefully his body could take the birth.

Right now, he just felt like he would die if he got pregnant.

Thor was huge; his child wouldn’t be anything other than that.

And Loki shuddered, picked up a goblet of mead and began to drink heavily, trying to convince himself that there was nothing different about him.

He heard Thor chuckle before he felt his husband take the glass from him and he looked at him with large eyes.

“We’re hunting, Loki” Thor chuckled and pulled him close amid the sounds his friends made “you need to be vigilant; not drunk”

A round of laughter was triggered and Loki felt his face heat up _again_ because he knew he wouldn’t be able to live this down.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair before looking at how everyone was preparing.

Apparently they were hunting a predator. It was larger than Loki had apparently ever seen and dangerous enough to have eaten three of the six parties sent to kill it.

Odin had been sent a request some time back to have the animal killed but he had been busy with negotiations with the realms to take proper action, instead ordering the men and women that lived nearby to leave the area until he solved the problem.

And said problem solvers were sitting around, either teasing the newlyweds or talking about how they would kill the beast.

“Dagger, straight through the heart” Fandral offered.

“Heart’s protected by six inch thick armor” Theoric told him “you would have to hit it twice and I doubt it will give you a chance so generous”

“Through the skull then?”

“And get skewered by the horns?” Sif asked “this is an alpha bilgesnipe in case you forget, Volstagg. They are terrible”

“Not terrible enough if the Sons of Odin sit with us” Hogun offered “We’ll manage it”

“Aye” Theoric said “and take home a horn or tooth each”

There were cheers that followed that comment and claps loud enough to make Byleistr, who lay dozing behind them in the lake, look up.

“Someone needs to stay here with Prince Loki”

Stillness followed that remark and everyone looked at Bragi as he sharpened his dagger.

“Stay?” Thor asked, frowning “We are not letting Loki stay”

“Yes” Bragi stood, sheathed his dagger and looked Thor right in the eye “we are. He has no training in hunting and this creature will tear him in two if he gets close enough”

A tension suddenly fell over them and Loki felt a chill go up his spine as Bragi looked him right in the eyes.

“Am I not right, your majesty?”

It wasn’t a question.

Loki swallowed and looked at Thor uncertainly “I …”

“Bragi” Thor said firmly “Loki’s coming with us”

Bragi raised a brow and the tension increased tenfold. From behind, Byleistr sat up, dripping water everywhere as he watched the byplay.

No one else spoke.

Bragi outranked them all save the princes and they _knew_ it wouldn’t end well if they intervened.

“Thor” he said softly, calmly, firmly “Think about it. Do you remember what an alpha looks like?”

Thor slit his gaze “Of course I do, it’s…”

“And do you know what it’s capable of?”

Thor stood and Loki froze.

_Not again…_

“Thor, it’s…”

“I will not leave my husband here alone”

“I never suggested that” Bragi said “Keep one of your friends with him. Idunn and Sigyn are staying back as well, so he will have company”

Idunn opened his mouth to speak but stopped when Sigyn nudged her and shook her head.

Not the time…

Loki looked at Bragi and frowned; there was an insult in what Bragi had said, he knew. But he wasn’t about to call Bragi on it.

“Are you calling Loki a woman?” Thor hissed.

Loki closed his eyes and massaged his temples. Trust Thor to say the one thing everyone was just _thinking_.

“No” Bragi said “why do you insist on fighting me? When you know this is best. He has no training, he can’t take _any_ of us on, how do you think he will take on a full grown bilgesnipe?”

“I’ll protect him” Thor said

“And hunt at the same time?” Bragi countered, then scoffed “I know you think yourself capable of doing many things, brother, but this is _not_ something any of us are willing to take a risk with. Ask around, if you disagree with me. None of us want Loki in harm”

Thor glared at him, then at everyone else.

They lowered their gazes, all of them, because they agreed with Bragi. Only Balder looked at him and

Thor waited for his older brother, at least, to agree with him.

“Balder?” Thor prompted.

Balder looked from Thor to Bragi and swallowed when the elder slit his gaze.

“I agree with Bragi” Balder said “Loki needs to stay”

The pain that went through Thor was phenomenal and he stared at his brother, his comrade and friend in slight disbelief.

Behind him, he heard a scoff and saw Loki sitting with his arms crossed and his gaze fixed on the side.

He wasn’t speaking.

Thor sighed and looked around.

“I’ll…”

“You don’t have to, you know” Loki spoke only for him, still not looking at him “I can stay with the ladies, it’s alright”

He felt _sick_ saying that but there was truth in what Bragi was saying. He knew nothing of hunting except what he read in books. So he would be a hindrance rather than a help.

And he didn’t want Bragi to stare at him as he just did to Balder.

Even though he felt comfortable enough, the Aesir still scared him, even Thor to a degree. He knew of the violence they were capable of and what they did in anger.

He wanted to keep from confrontation – especially in front of his brother.

Thor sighed and knelt down before Loki, making him look back by gently grasping his jaw.

“I don’t _have_ to go, you know” Thor said, apparently also in agreement with what Bragi said, despite his vehement outburst.

It was clear he though Loki feminine as well.

“We can go for a walk or swim, move about in the river…” he stroked Loki’s cheek and smiled and Loki turned a dull pink.

“No” Loki forced himself to say “You go on ahead”

Shyly, he touched Thor’s collar with his finger “Maybe get me some scales. I can use them in my magic”

Thor smiled, relieved, and lowered his head to touch his nose to Loki’s.

Behind him, everyone politely turned away, grinning or scoffing.

Loki turned a bright red and dropped his gaze.

“Loki” Thor tipped his head up to make him look into his eyes “don’t hide from me, my darling. Never from me”

Thor leaned over and placed a soft kiss on Loki’s lips before he placed another on his cheek.

Loki gently pushed him away “Alright, enough. Go get your stupid animal”

Thor beamed, kissed him once more and stood. He grabbed Loki’s hand and pulled him up, embracing him in front of everyone.

Byleistr smirked and stood, water cascading down him. He saw Loki’s eyes fix on him and widen a moment before they lowered.

He scoffed “Shall we leave then? I have a hankering for some blood” 

“Aye” Theoric said, glad to be away from this – drama “Let’s move.”

“We leave the horses here” Balder said before he turned to Idunn and lifted her hand to his lips “Tooth or scale, madam?”

She thought about it “A horn”

Balder gave her a dry glare “Really?”

“Yes!” she hopped up, put her arms around his neck and kissed him before stepping back and skipping over to Loki “one for Loki, too”

Balder nodded and avoided looking at Bragi.

“So,” Fandral called “who stays?”

It was a unanimous decision to stare at the dashing man and Fandral blinked when everyone, including Byleistr, turned their gazes to him.

He sighed and sat back down, deflated “Bother”

“Chin up, old friend” Volstagg came to slap Fandral on the back, nearly throwing him off the log he’d perched on “maybe you shall get lucky and the animal will arrive here rather than the other way around.”

And Fandral would have replied.

Had an ear piercing shriek not erupted from the woods. Trees cracked and broke, fell to the ground with the might of the creature that was coming towards them. Birds screeched and flew into the skies, escaping the oncoming monstrosity.

Something heavy crunched and broke nearby, snapping loudly in the stunned silence around like a bone – or a neck.

Loki gasped and stood when he saw black shade moving in the distance, behind the trees and on the other side of the river. He heard the growl that rumbled through his own heart and realized he was part of the hunt whether his companions wanted it or not.

He yelped when Thor grabbed his arm and pulled him behind his back, lifting a sword in one hand and a spear in the other.

Only then did Loki notice something crucial.

“Thor?” he whispered “Where’s your hammer?”

***

To be fair, they had been taken by surprise.

And there were two alpha males.

And they had set up camp in their territory.

Either that or someone had called those things here because they were far too aggressive.

Balder grunted in pain as he was thrown against a tree, his weapon falling from his hand after the nasty hit from the tail of the monster before him.

They were huge, just like the tales he’d heard and previously thought exaggerated, and they were angry.

Had they fought amongst themselves and ignored the Aesir, their escape would have been easier, but the moment the two angry beasts gazed upon the sweet smelling Asgardians, they hadn’t stopped to think before they lunged.

Byleistr had been the first to attack, leaping onto the back of one of the monsters and beating it with his fist in an attempt to defeat it.

The things were _huge_ , reaching past the trees in height and looking more like wingless dragons than anything else.

One was dark brown and the other a sickly red. 

Their antlers were large and thick, made pure of unbreakable bone matching the heavy plates on their necks and back. The only vulnerable place they had was at the back of their neck, a small opening between the head and neck plates that led right to the vertebrae.

And of course that was unreachable.

Balder gasped when he felt a rib break and curled up in agony, tears coming over his eyes.

He looked up when he saw the bilgesnipe raise it’s tail and swing.

Ducking his head, Balder missed it by scant inches when it went over him but yelled hen it grazed his leg, splitting it open.

“Balder!”

Metal clanked above and he saw Theoric standing over him, repeatedly sinking his blade into the first, large brown beast’s tail. It shrieked and took a few steps back, growling when Sif’s spear his it’s jaw; drawing blood but leaving it otherwise unharmed.

Sif gasped as it swung at her and leapt aside, missing the claw by inches. She fell into a few bushes and when she rose, she was already armed with her sword and dagger. Giving a battle yell, she ran forward, ready to kill.

On the other side, a massive roar broke through the skies as Byleistr was thrown aside like a rag doll under the bilgesnipe’s wrath.

The red monster then looked to Bragi and Fandral as they circled before it, trying to distract it enough to let Volstagg, perched carefully on a nearby tree, to climb on its back and end it.

Their campsite was utterly ruined, nothing had remained.

As the animals fought amongst themselves and the pesky Aesir, one of them swung out, hoping to catch the other’s throat and sliced the tree Volstagg was perched in.

Fandral froze as he saw his friend fall to the ground and Bragi ran when he heard the terrifying crunch that followed.

Volstagg yelled, grabbing his thick leg and moaning when he saw it broken, with the bone sticking out.

Fandral gave Bragi a dire glare; they needed to leave.

Bragi nodded and let Fandral hoist Volstagg on his shoulders before he whistled sharply.

It caught Hogun’s attention, but it made one of the bilgesnipes focus on him, too.

Bragi’s eyes widened as it suddenly made _for_ him.

For the second time in his life, Bragi froze before a raging bilgesnipe.

He grunted in pain as something heavy and solid slammed into him, throwing him aside and safe from the spot the animal’s teeth latched to; the very ground he’d been standing on.

He looked up to see Thor, golden hair pasted on his head as he glared at him.

“Have you lost your mind!?” Thor yelled “You’re a warrior, stop freezing!”

Bragi couldn’t say anything and Thor got off, raising his blade and running to where the battle was taking place.

Bragi realized they were not going to win.

Balder groaned as he was sat down, thanked Theoric from pulling him to safety.

Idunn ran forward, her face pale.

“What happened!?” she almost screamed as she fell before Balder, her hands touching his sweaty face.

They were in a glade, away from the animals and away from the fighting.

It was the first thing done; Sigyn, Loki and Idunn moved here while the others battled the monsters.

It seemed logical; since they were losing and would eventually need to escape.

“It’s…nothing” Balder gasped, then tensed when pain went through him “Okay, it might be something”

“Let me see” Sigyn came and knelt over, raising a hand glowing with healing energy and placed it on Balder’s injury.

Balder gasped in pain and Idunn kissed him deeply, making him forget the pain and close his eyes.

They kissed for a while, whimpering and gaping until Idunn pulled back. Balder, breathing a little heavily, looked down to see his wound gone.

He gave Sigyn a grateful look, then a shocked one when he was pushed back.

“Give it a moment” he was told “You’ll feel a little dizzy”

Balder nodded.

“Loki, could do hand me…?” Sigyn turned and broke off when she didn’t see Loki around.

Theoric straightened and Balder felt something cold settle in the pit of his stomach.

“Where’s Loki?” Balder rasped.

***

Thor gave a growl and laughed when his blade broke off a plate of one of the monsters. Immediately, he plunged the sword in and was awarded with a howl of pain. He ducked the blow the animal gave and yelped, leaping aside when it tried to bite him.

“Ha!” he called, slamming his blade into the nearest claw “You’ll have to do better than that!”

A sharp whistle pierced the skies and a bright green orb of magic slammed into the bilgesnipe’s jaw.

“Over here!”

Thor turned, a little before the animal, and went deathly pale when he saw Loki standing at the edge of the river, calling the animal forth.

“Loki, no!” Thor yelled, missing the tail that came his way and shouting when he was thrown a good fifteen feet away he crashed through the trees and hit the flat edge of a low hill he hadn’t noticed until it crashed into his back.

Thor fell with a groan, waiting for the dizziness to wan before he sat up.

“No!” he screamed when he saw the bilgesnipe run after Loki as he leapt into the water and started to wade forward awkwardly.

“Loki!” Thor yelled, running forward.

He yelled and fell back when the other bilgesnipe blocked his path, moving here and there as it tried to get Byleistr off its head, howling in agony when the Jotun started to tug on one of its antlers.

On the other side, Loki was seriously rethinking his plan as the water kept getting deeper and the bilgesnipe kept getting closer.

He saw the collection of rocks far ahead, balanced precariously one atop the other and he knew he could levitate them high enough to drop on the bilgesnipe’s skull hard enough to crush.

But since he could only do it for a while, he had to bring the animal to the trap.

Loki gasped and panted, trying to run in the chest deep water and realized the flaw in his plan when he failed to take into account the current going _against_ him.

The bilgesnipe shrieked behind him and Loki dared to look over his shoulder.

His eyes went wide when he saw the animal only a few feet from him, its angry eyes fixed on his face.

He gave a loud screech and lunged.

***

Thor shouted as his ankle twisted and he fell on his knees, unable to run anymore.

He could see it.

He could see Loki duck into the water and his heart stopped.

A moment later, his lover burst forth, gasping for air and raising a hand in the air against the beast attacking him.

He failed to listen to the shriek the bilgesnipe close to him gave as its life was taken.

It was only when the ground started to shake with the animal’s slow fall that Thor turned and his eyes went wide when he saw the gigantic head aim right for him.

Thor yelled, both in pain and surprise, when a large blue hand wrapped around him and lifted him to safety, out of harm’s way as Byleistr leapt aside, holding Thor like a toy.

The warriors, bleeding and broken, stood gasping a moment before they heard a huge blast and cracks from the afar, then a painful shriek and the unmistakable sound of water splashing high and fast.

“Loki!” Thor yelled, wiggling around until Byleistr placed him down carefully.

“Your leg…”

“Matters naught!” Thor yelled, hopping on one leg, following everyone else as they ran to where the commotion came from.

His heart was in his throat, beating in his ears and his stomach was knotted so badly Thor felt sick.

If anything happened to Loki…

Norns, Thor wouldn’t be able to stand it.

He tore through the last of the trees and stilted to a halt, as did the others when they saw Loki safe and sound, dripping wet with a huge grin on his face.

“I did it!” he yelled, running out of the water and coming straight for Thor “Did you see that, I did it!”

Thor breathed a huge sigh of relief, dropped his blade and embraced Loki to his chest.  
 

Behind Thor, everyone was in minor or major shock as they saw the bilgesnipe’s large body moving to and fro in the waters, its head crushed under the stones they’d previously seen and been ordered to avoid.

Thor pulled back from Loki and held him at arm’s length.

“Are you alright?” Thor gasped

“Yes” Loki panted, hair plastered to his face and dripping down.

“Then...” Thor took a deep breath “Are you out of your mind!? Do you have any idea how _stupid_ that was!?”

Loki blinked in confusion and flinched, especially when he saw his brother holding a bloody, broken antler in his large hand.

“You could been killed!” Thor shook him “You could have drowned! How could you…”

“Thor…” Balder came between them, parting the stunned Loki and the furious Thor “Now is not the time to do this”

“But he…” Thor began

“I said…” Balder looked to Thor, then back at Loki as something caught his eye.

He wouldn’t have seen it, not if the sun hadn’t glittered on it.

The glint of an arrow’s tip, hidden in the trees over Loki’s shoulder – aimed at Loki.

Balder’s eyes widened a moment before it was released.

“Loki, watch out!”

Loki gasped as Balder shoved him aside and threw him to the ground.

Balder grunted when the arrow went straight into his shoulder, tore through skin and muscle and came out the other end.

“Balder!”

Someone screamed as Balder fell to the ground by the force of the hit.

The burning started instantly and Balder arched his back as the pain went through him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://angrboda-the-witch.tumblr.com/image/60879301677
> 
> Bragi by Angrboda the Witch


	16. Surprise ... Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Balder has the worst timing

Even in the direst of situations, dearest Idunn could be trusted to create distractions.

“I ride with Loki” she announced “because I won”

Loki, blinking in surprise as he sat against a tree, his head in his hands lifting at her announcement. He was shaking terribly, frightened and scared beyond reason because someone had just tried to _kill_ him.

Like he was some sort of insect or pest that needed getting rid of.

Mercilessly, ruthlessly, and so silently that he would have succeeded had Balder not intervened…Balder, who now lay gasping and writhing in pain as Byleistr worked on him.

The arrow was poisoned, destined to kill, with the acid of the most poisonous trees in Jotunhiem. 

That thought alone scared Loki more than anything because that meant that the meager sense of security he felt here was shattered.

He was still hunted and the ones responsible would probably not rest.

Balder gasped, bowing his back and forcing Thor to hold him down, when Byleistr placed another cut on his shoulder, seeping the poisoned blood from his body.

Loki knew how to do this, he’d read enough books to know the procedure by heart. But when his brother had ordered him to do it, he had frozen, gone still and unable to do anything other than stare in ever mounting horror at the First Prince.

He’d been shoved aside by his brother and fallen to the ground, unnoticed by everyone; even Thor.

Among other things, he had been ruthlessly reminded on his place here in Asgard.

Bragi, Theoric and Fandral had taken off to find the one responsible while Sif and the remaining friends did whatever they could to help Balder, to heal him.

A blade had been sterilized by Sigyn’s magic while Idunn hovered, deceptively calm. She looked normal, not at all like the girl that had screamed when Balder was hit, but Loki could make out the fear in her eyes clearly.

It was easy since the emotion was visible in his own gaze as he looked about, almost frantic, at every movement, be they wind or leaves or water.

He jumped violently, crying out when a hand rested on his shoulder and his head spun around to see himself reflected in Sif’s eyes.

“Easy, Prince” she said, giving him a small squeeze “we won’t let harm come to you”

Loki didn’t believe her, but he nodded nonetheless and flinched when Balder screamed.

“Hold him down!” Byleistr yelled as he slit the artery that darkened with the flowing poison. 

He’d managed to stop the flow by grotesquely pinching the canal shut and prompted Balder to scream and writhe in agony, making Hogun run over to aid.

“Stop it!” Balder pleaded “Please, stop!”

Thor, his face twisted in agony, swallowed “Just a little longer, brother, just a little longer”

Byleistr worked, his large hand surprisingly delicate as he helped Balder and drained the blood until his hands were painted crimson.

“My lady” he prompted Sigyn and she ran over, healing charm ready.

“Here, where I am holding him” Byleistr said softly.

She nodded and placed her spell there, relaxing in relief when she saw it work and sewed Balder back up in no time.

It was only when Byleistr nodded that everyone let go and left Thor and Balder alone.

The First Prince lay gasping raggedly as he closed his eyes while Thor looked on, fear and relief mingling on his face as he saw the amount of blood that dripped down the torso of his beloved brother.

“Enough…” Balder gasped “you idiot…it’s not…your fault”

Thor gave a soft sob and lowered his forehead to Balder’s chest, letting himself release some of the panic and fear he’d held back as he sat behind his brother’s head and held him down.

Loki watched the exchange as he sat away from everyone.

Helping Balder sit up, all his friends walked over and crouched beside him, moving when Idunn practically threw herself into Balder’s arms and kissed him before she pulled back.

Her eyes were shining and Balder whispered something before wiping a single tear away.

Movement sounded and Loki jumped, his eyes wide as he looked to the side.

He tensed, then relaxed a little when he saw the others return.

Thor stood first, his face angry and expecting answers.

“Well?”

Bragi shook his head “Whoever it was is long gone. We searched the perimeter and found absolutely nothing. Not even a footprint to lead us to the bastard”

Loki felt a chill go up his spine.

Fandral and Theoric walked over to Balder as Bragi and Thor talked and Volstagg held Balder up, showing him off to everyone to ease their minds.

And as they chatted and talked and tried to put this behind them, Loki realized the truth and waited while they were done enough to become conscious of the fact that he still existed.

He sighed and brought his knees up to his chest, sitting and watching the bilgesnipe he’d downed lolling around in the water and for the smallest moment, he envied it.

***

“You haven’t given a penalty”

Loki looked at the woman sitting before him and blinked “What?”

“The penalty; to the person that came in last” Idunn held on to the saddle, riding side saddle and appearing more graceful than ever.

They were headed back to Asgard and true to her word, she had rode with Loki, talking and chatting and unconsciously keeping his mind away from his dire thoughts.

Or she was deliberately doing it and Loki found himself placing protective arms around her as he held the reins, a small show of gratitude.

 Erik held them both with no trouble at all but occasionally glanced back, looking for Thor.

Loki had been doing the same until a while ago, until he realized that no matter how many times he would look, Thor wouldn’t look up at him.

He was hovering around Balder, their horses in the middle as they talked in hushed voices.

Thor’s face was grim and Balder looked stoic.

Walking beside them was Byleistr and he seemed rather happy that the brothers were including him in his conversation.

He even made jokes and that bothered Loki more than anything else because Byleistr never joked. He had never jested with him nor his allies and seeing this side of him, brought out by Thor and Balder, two people Byleistr had hated not too long ago, Loki realized he felt hurt.

Perhaps this was what Byleistr had meant earlier.

Choosing the Aesir over him.

Loki felt like his heart was being torn in two and wondered how his brother had turned the tables.

Both princes now found themselves in his brother’s debt. They owed them his lives and Loki didn’t cherish the thought.

He knew his brother well; he was a snake – and not in the good way.

He waited for the moment to strike and gain something in his favor and Loki worried what he would ask for now.

Unless he already got it.

Unconsciously, Loki put one hand on his still flat belly and worry came over his face.

“Don’t worry”

Loki blinked when Sigyn came up on her mare beside them and smiled at him. he hadn’t even heard her approach.

“Not yet”

Loki blinked, a polite frown on his face.

She smiled “A babe. You are not with child, my prince”

Loki’s eyes widened and his face flushed “I…”

Idunn made a face at her “You didn’t win, ride over there”

Sigyn smiled at her childish display and bowed her head “As you wish, dear”

She slowed her mare, allowing Erik to trot ahead and came beside her husband now.

Loki watched her until Idunn slapped his leg, gaining his attention.

“She’s Vanir” Idunn replied to his unasked question “that’s how she knows. If you want, you can ask her for methods to help you control conception”

Loki felt his face heat up and he realized there was nowhere to look.

Idunn chuckled and patted his cheek lovingly “I love it when you blush. Also, I noted how terrified you looked a moment ago.”

“My lady, please…” Loki whispered, humiliated.

Idunn waved a hand at him “Fine. So easily flustered you are”

Loki refrained from speaking and waited for Idunn to speak about something else.

He waited not a heartbeat before she piped up again “I haven’t given you juice in a while”

Loki didn’t sigh in relief.

“Aye” he said, smiling a little “Has my time as a babe traumatized you so?”

“Of course not” she sniffed “You stopped paying me compliments”

“I was an infant” 

“So?” she pouted “even babies can raise their arms and demand to be held by someone. It was insulting”

Loki blinked and sighed, “Forgive me, Madam, how can I repay thee?”

She thought about it “Penalize the person who lost”

Loki exhaled and looked defeated.

His brother was the one who had lost and Loki didn’t want to punish him. He didn’t want to speak to him, not after what he’d said.

“Maybe something else?” Loki suggested “We’ve had enough drama for one day, don’t you think?”

Idunn hummed and looked ahead, once more giving him the space he needed.

“May I ask you something?” she spoke

“Yes, anything” Loki said, smiling gently.

“Do you like Asgard so far?”

Loki looked at her face, looking for signs of mockery of something that would make him court danger.

But there was nothing but friendly curiosity in her eyes.

Loki sighed and lowered his head.

“Sometimes”

It meant nothing and it meant everything.

Idunn understood and contented herself with sitting calmly, before her eyes glittered.

“Perhaps a game” she suggested, looking up at him.

Loki looked back at her and raised a brow “What kind of game?”

“I shall think of something and you shall have twenty questions to ask before you guess it” she said “And I shall reply in only ‘yes’ or ‘no’”

Loki smiled, intrigued “Alright, go ahead, begin”

Idunn thought for a few moments before a smile came upon her face “Alright, done. It’s a person”

Loki hummed and his face scrunched up as he thought “Male?”

“Yes”

“Alive?”

“Yes”

Loki hummed “Is he with us right now?”

“No”

This just got harder and Loki got more interested.

“Alright” he shifted in his seat a little “Is he royalty?”

“No”

Loki gave her a look before he thought for a while.

“Have I met him?”

“Of course”

Loki thought, an Aesir he had met but was not royalty and didn’t accompany them here.

Loki grinned “Heimdall, the gate keeper”

“How did you know that!?” Idunn asked sharply.

Loki gave her a soft smile “I’m smarter than you think, dearest Idunn”

She gave an annoyed huff and Loki laughed when she turned back to staring past Erik’s ears in irritation.

Clearly, the lady didn’t like to lose.

Loki chuckled “How about you guess who I will choose?”

Idunn wrinkled her nose and turned back to him “Fine. Male?”

“Yes”

“Alive?”

“Yes” Loki smiled.

“Is he here with us?”

“Yes”

Idunn’s eyes glinted in the sun “Thor”

Loki laughed, “No”

She gaped “Your brother?”

“No”

“Theoric?”

“Nay, my lady”

She flushed in irritation “Volstagg?”

“No”

“Fandral, Hogun?”

“No and no” Loki chuckled

Idunn’s eyes lit up “Bragi?”

Loki blushed “No”

Idunn growled and looked around “You?”

Loki shook his head.

Idunn crossed her arms and looked around “There is no one else”

“Of course there is, my lady, stop guessing. Ask questions instead”

Idunn bit her cheek and thought, but for the life of her she couldn’t come up with a question.

“Does he fight?”

“Yes”

“Have you ever seen him fight?”

“No”

Idunn snarled “I give in”

“So soon?” Loki asked, eyebrows raised.

“Yes” she snapped “now tell me”

Loki smiled and leaned over, patting the horse’s neck “Erik”

Idunn froze for a few moments before she scowled at him “You cheated. You said ‘man’!”

“Never” Loki chuckled “you asked me if it was a male and I said yes. You never asked the species”

“I’m not playing anymore”

Loki laughed “Oh, lady Idunn come on!”

“No”

And she didn’t.

She truly didn’t play again no matter how much Loki goaded her.

And he kept at because of one simple truth.

It distracted him from the one thing that was driving him insane.

Someone had just tried to kill him – and he owed Balder his life.

***

It was unanimously decided that it would be better if neither Thor and Balder’s parents nor the quickly healed Volstagg’s wife discovered what had happened.

Even Hiemdall seemed to agree with them because the old gate keeper never spoke a word as the hunting party returned victorious.

As promised, teeth, scales and claws had been collected to be given to loved ones. And the victorious Aesir were talking about them as they returned.

The moment they entered the gates of the castle, their horses were taken away and walked so to the stables where they could finally rest.

Since it was late evening, and everyone was tired, short goodbyes were traded, so that the brothers could make their way back into the palace.

Balder remained close to Thor as they led the way and Loki followed, ignored and forgotten like he had been so used to and only just started to forget.

Byleistr was deep in conversation with Bragi as they talked about the hunt and Thor kept murmuring to Balder. Loki rubbed his hands up and down his arms and watched Thor’s heels as he walked ahead, worrying over Balder like a mother would.

They turned the corner and separated.

Bragi and Byleistr went to their respective rooms after muttered good nights and Loki followed the brothers to Odin and Frigga’s suite to tell them their tale.

Thor crashed through the doors, banging them open with one mighty shove.

“Parents!” he hollered “we have returned victorious and come bearing gifts!”

Balder laughed after him, shoving him and smiling at his mother and father “Blessings upon you” 

“Blessings upon you” Frigga said

“Did you do something useful?” Odin asked as greeting “Or did you just hog away on the food you stole”

“Hogged away!” Thor came to kiss his father’s head “For you”

Odin smiled when he saw the large tooth Thor had got for him and beamed with pride. He ran a hand over his younger son’s head and kissed his forehead, closing his eyes and lingering because this was the only way he could tell him how much he missed him.

Balder went to his mother, handing her the small scales he’d taken off the monster’s tail “For you, beautiful maiden”

Frigga blushed and laughed, shoving him away “Idiot!”

Balder gave a loud, exaggerated cry and placed a forearm over his eyes “Hear’th break, my fragile heart!

The greetings of a mother so forgone that my organ could take no more!”

Thor scoffed a laugh and shoved him as he came to Frigga and kissed her cheek before lifting the claw he’d gotten her.

Frigga smiled and embraced him while Odin kissed Balder’s forehead.

Back, still standing at the door and feeling so left out, Loki watched.

He watched the happy family move and play about and he watched the husband he’d gotten so close to place a large barrier between them.

Loki had imagined many things.

But heartbreak upon coming back was not what he expected.

He sighed and ducked out of the door, going unseen back to his new chambers in the hopes of taking some herbs to put him to sleep because the pain in his heart would keep him awake, he knew.

It hurt him deeply that he wasn’t followed because he was truly beginning to feel like he was part of their world.

A part of Thor’s world.

It was disappointment that coursed through him when the doors to the chambers opened and Thor came in, looking as though he was about to panic.

“Loki!”

Loki sighed as he pulled out the clothes needed and placed them on the bed “Here”

Footsteps thumped loudly but Loki didn’t look up as Thor galloped up the staircase to where their sleeping chambers were.

His eyes looked about a little frantically before he spotted Loki sedately pulling out clothes and laying them on the bed.

“Loki” he walked over “What’s wrong? You just left?”

_Noticed, did you?_

“Nothing’s wrong, Thor” Loki said, lifting his clothes and folding them over one arm “I require a bath”

Thor came close “You didn’t even meet Mother and Father. They got worried”

“They were busy” Loki said softly, opening the bathing room door and walking in.

Thor blinked as comprehension dawned on his face.

“Oh, Loki…” he sighed, following his spouse “Loki, I …”

Loki stood at the door, barring Thor’s entrance “Excuse me, Thor, I need to bathe”

Loki made to close the door but Thor placed a hand on it, stopping him. A flare of alarm went through Loki’s eyes as he looked at Thor uncertainly.

But there was nothing mean in Thor’s gaze, just sadness.

“Loki, I’m sorry” Thor whispered “I shouldn’t have…”

“Yes” Loki said softly, firmly “You shouldn’t have”

Thor blinked, his expression turning hurt.

“But you did” Loki placed a hand on Thor’s chest and gently pushed him back “So excuse me”

This time, Thor moved and let him close the door and the last thing he saw before Loki vanished behind the gilded door was Loki’s face; scared and hurt.

***

Loki didn’t come to dinner; he requested it to be brought into his chambers and dined on the dining table placed by the balcony window.

His green gaze went to the skies every now and then as he sat, clean and sweet smelling, watching the slits of dark clouds gather over the horizon.

It gave him some sort of satisfaction to see that Thor was at least feeling guilty about ignoring him.

Even though it was his right to do so, it hurt Loki because it solidified his brother’s words of how Loki was basically a thing being used.

He was made to be discarded and there was nothing he could do to change that.

It was only his own fault for thinking otherwise.

He gave a small sigh and began to pick at the fruit before  him.

It was past the time Thor came to bed.

Usually, as their broken routine had showed them, they spent half the night talking and joking, sometimes Thor would pull Loki into his lap and they would kiss until they were breathless.

But now…

Loki gasped as another thought occurred to him.

Thor had taken him back at the camp, marked him, and made him his own. Perhaps that was why he had been so nice to him, concerned and telling him he loved him. And now that he had…

Now that Loki had allowed him to…

He must have lost his appeal. Thor was someone who loved chasing. He caught Loki and that made him lose interest.

And oh, how that _hurt_.

Loki felt physical pain in his chest and placed a hand over his rapidly beating heart when he realized that was probably the reason for Thor’s sudden aloofness.

That, and the fact that Balder had nearly been killed.

But Loki found himself focusing on the first and the more he thought about it, the more it made sense.

Thor was forced into this marriage and Byleistr’s words seemed to turn true with every passing, shuddering breath Loki took.

Used and discarded … a whore … the perfect slut.

Loki blinked at the hurt and looked down to see his fingers still holding the piece of peach that no longer looked appetizing.

He put it back down in his platter carefully and looked at it, swallowing against his pain and anguish before he gently pushed it away and leaned back in his seat.

Why was this bothering him so much?

He knew why he was here, he knew he had been _sold_ to Thor, so Thor could do whatever the hell he wanted with him.

Loki was a little more than a slave at the moment and he shouldn’t have forgotten that.

A knock sounded on the door and Loki straightened, fearing Thor had returned. But his husband didn’t knock and Loki sighed before he stood, going to open the door.

He lowered the knob slowly so when it was harshly opened Loki gasped and jumped back, paling when Byleistr forced his way in.

“Byleistr!” Loki retreated, feeling his guts turn to ice when his brother closed and locked the door behind him.

Byleistr turned his gaze to him slowly and sneered “Well, look at the little broodmare that finally knows her place”

Loki’s mouth fell open, pain lancing through him at his brother’s cruelty.

“You felt pretty cocky didn’t you?” Byleistr sneered “Look where it got you; alone and pathetic, just like you always were”

Loki shivered at the vehemence Byleistr exuded “Brother, please…”

Byleistr scoffed “Know your place. You are a half thing, Loki, destined to be wedded and bedded; you are useless otherwise. Remember that the next time you talk back to me”

Loki dropped his gaze to the floor.

“Because of you, the prince was injured, both of them, if I recall” Byleistr scoffed “and now they owe _me_ their lives. What did you do for them? Nothing. What can you offer them aside from your cunt?!”

Loki gasped, looking at his brother with tears trembling in his eyes, his hands shaking and so much _pain_ going through his body that it mingled with his shock.

“Remember what you are to them” Byleistr sneered “remember that what you give them can easily be replaced with their own hands”

Loki stared at him, shame and anger and hurt and pain coursing through him.

His brother always knew how to hurt and humiliate him. Loki had had enough.

“Is that why you came?” Loki whispered, tears quivering in his eyes “To humiliate me?”

“Oh, I have not even begun to humiliate you, Loki” Byleistr stepped forward and smiled when Loki stepped back “When I do, you will _know_ you have been humiliated. You won’t be able to walk outside without hearing what you are and without men touching you and having you as they please. In the halls, on the floor, in public. And not even Thor will help you then”

Loki raised a hand and pointed to the door “Get out”

Byleistr scoffed and deliberately walked further into the room, backing Loki further.

“But I didn’t come here to humiliate you” he said “You did that back at the camp when you screamed and moaned like a bitch in heat and let everyone know what you had been doing”

Loki wanted to cry, he really did.

It was a miracle he wasn’t bleeding.

“I came to tell you to have a child, Loki” Byleistr said “I have their lives as leverage, saving them but with their record, they cannot be trusted”

Loki glared at him but said nothing.

“So have Thor’s child” Byleistr said, coming over to loom over Loki “Or…”

Loki gasped and cried out when Byleistr brutally grabbed his jaw and lifted him off the floor.

“No!” he gasped, hands going to Byleistr’s large wrist “Please!”

“Or” Byleistr continued “I will _make_ you have a child. It doesn’t have to be Thor’s, you know”

Loki gasped as he was released and he fell to the floor, crying out when he twisted his hand and wrist painfully.

“I gave you a week before” Byleistr said, stepping back “I let you have your fun. Now I give you more time. You have a young form, get pregnant before the fortnight ends or I swear to you, Loki, I will…”

“What if…” Loki gasped, desperate and panicked and just - broken “I got you the casket? Will you leave me alone? Will you stop hounding me and hurting me whenever you get the chance?”

Byleistr paused and considered it. He leaned down and grabbed Loki again, forcing him up and ignoring his cry of pain.

There was a bruise forming on Loki’s face where he had held him and Byleistr scoffed.

“Trick me” Byleistr said, hand tightening on Loki’s arm “and I will take you to Farbauti myself”

“I’m not…” Loki gasped, trying to extract himself from his brother’s brutal grip “But you... must leave. I don’t want you here”

Byleistr blinked and frowned at the twinge of pain that went through him at those words. Loki wasn’t lying.

“Swear…” Loki pulled against him “that you will leave…and I will give it to you”

“You wish me gone?”

“Yes. You have insulted me and harmed me more than I can ever tell you. You are cruel to me and no matter what I do, that will never change. So, yes, I want you gone. I’ll give you the casket and you…” Loki said, looking into his crimson eyes “just take it and go away”

Loki stumbled when he was released and stepped out of his brother’s reach, his injured arm cradled to his chest. Byleistr was still likely to beat him for such insolence.

“Can you truly get it for me?” Byleistr asked

“Yes” Loki clipped, keeping his gaze aside “Now go”

“When?”

Loki looked up at him “A fortnight – dependent upon your word”

Byleistr’s lip curled and he snarled.

But he didn’t say anything.

“Then I will keep my distance”

Loki swallowed loudly and looked away, clearly dismissing his brother.

Byleistr sighed, opened his mouth to speak – an apology? – and closed it a moment later.

He thumped forward, going to the door and unlocking it.

He looked back one more time, saw the line of his brother’s back and pulled the door open, leaving without a word of regret.

Because he had gone too far for remorse.

***

Thor opened the door to his chambers slowly, in hopes of not disturbing Loki if he was resting.

The object in his hand gave a small whimper and began to squirm so Thor shushed it, holding it his chest to soothe.

Fortunately, Loki wasn’t sleeping.

He had lit the wall sconces and now sat reading at the dinner table. One hand held up his head while the other idly twirled the corner of the page he was reading.

Thor froze when he saw the bandage on Loki’s wrist.

“Loki, what happened?”

Loki didn’t jolt like Thor thought he would instead, finished reading his sentence before slowly raising his gaze to Thor’s. Thor blanched when he saw the bruise on Loki’s face.  

“Thor” he greeted softly, sitting back and closing the book after he marked it.

Thor felt dread uncoil within him as he saw how – untouchable – Loki seemed.

It reminded him of one of Stark’s metal men; cold and without emotion.

That scared him and he moved forward.

“Loki, you’re hurt!” Thor said, walking over.

“It’s nothing” Loki showed him the bandage “I slipped in the bath”

Thor felt a chill go through him at how flatly Loki spoke.

It was like he was – hollow.

And it was all Thor’s fault.

Thor didn’t know what to do, there was nothing that even came close to a response forming in his head.

Then Loki solved the problem for him.

The thing in his hand whimpered and caught Loki’s attention. His green eyes lowered to Thor’s chest and widened when he saw the little kitten Thor was holding.

“What…?”

Thor blinked when Loki approached, standing before him to touch the kitten’s head with a finger.

Something shifted in his eyes and Thor watched, surprised when Loki simply picked the cat up with one hand and brought it to his face level.

“Norns, you are so cute” Loki whispered to the kitten.

Half of it was black and half of it was white.

The right white side had a blue eye while the other had a beautiful green one, reminiscent of Loki’s own emeralds.

It was one of the reasons Thor had picked it.

And it seemed like he had done the right thing because Loki’s aloofness vanished within moments of meeting the kitten and Thor was unable to look away as Loki talked to it in soft tones, cooing at it and clicking his tongue.

Then he seemed to realize something and Thor saw him deflate.

“Is she…” Loki asked, not looking at him “for me?”

Even if that hadn’t been the case, Thor would have still given it to him.

“Aye” Thor whispered “It’s nothing when it comes to show how sorry I am, Loki, but … please accept her”

Loki still didn’t look at him, seemingly lost in his new pet.

“I’ll name her Hela”

Thor didn’t speak. His mind was reeling because Loki had not looked at him yet. His other present, the one he’d kept safe, felt like a heavy weight in his pocket and Thor longed to give it to him. And beg him for forgiveness.

Even if he had to get down on his knees.

Newly named Hela gave a soft meow and batted Loki’s face with her tiny paw, making him give a soft laugh and place her on his shoulder.

Thor smiled, feeling some of his tension wan at the look on Loki’s face, then his expression turned hurt when Loki walked off, not giving him a glance, at all.

“Loki, wait” Thor said suddenly

Loki stopped but he kept his back to Thor. Hela gave a small mew and turned her face to Thor’s.

“I know this was terrible for you” Thor said “I know how scared you were and still must be. I wanted to be there for you, but somewhere along the line, I …”

“It’s alright, Thor” Loki cut in calmly.

Thor blinked, his face pained.

“I know where I stand” Loki said “I can’t blame you for choosing your brother over me”

 _And oh, how that irony hurt!_.

“Loki, I didn’t…”

“You did” Loki stated calmly “now please, excuse me, Thor. I wish to rest”

“Loki, please” Thor walked forward “Please, at least look at me”

There was a long silence where Thor waited with held breath, heart hammering till it was on the verge of breaking. Loki still had his back to him and kept his gaze fixed on the floor when he spoke.

“No”

Thor gave a gasp of pain and felt his heart stop when Loki simply walked off, climbing the stairs to their bedchambers.

He stood there, watching the last place he’d seen Loki, his heart hammering within his chest, hurting him with each passing breath and breaking him a little more.

Upstairs and out of immediate sight, Loki leaned against the wall, a trembling hand over his mouth, his eyes wide and staring.

His charade had paid off.

And he was scared to death of that fact.

***

In all honesty, he hadn’t really wanted to hurt Thor this way.

But he had to.

For his brother.

The plan Loki came up with was as simple as it was cold.

Thor would _never_ hand over the casket if Loki just asked for it, no. Loki knew that was not possible. 

But if Loki played the little leverage he had properly, if he exaggerated his fear and disappointment, if he played with Thor’s _guilt_ , Loki had a feeling he would easily get the casket for his brother and get rid of him.

Odin would make sure he used it correctly, he wasn’t stupid.

So there was no _real_ downside to his plan.

Apart from the hurt he’d seen on Thor’s face.

Loki wasn’t going to lie to himself, he felt satisfaction – if only a little – when he saw Thor in pain.

The man had just abandoned him, not even asked him if he was alright when Balder was injured.

True he was his brother and since they are so close, it was only natural that he worry, but…

Loki sighed.

He’d thought he was more important than that.

And his own anger – yes, he was slightly angry underneath the fear and hurt – made it easier to manipulate Thor like he was doing.

It just silenced his own guilt and made it seem bearable.

And if this got him away from Byleistr, well…

Loki sighed.

He had half a heart to not let his brother go.

Yes, he was cruel and mean to him, but he loved him as well, Loki knew it.

Deep, deep down, Loki knew his brother cared for him and loved him and though their relationship was never healthy, he still owed him his life.

Loki groaned and placed his hands over his face as he lay in bed, looking up at the ceiling and listening to the sounds that escaped the washroom as Thor bathed.

Hela gave a soft noise when he groaned and fell on his back before coming over and sitting on his chest.

Loki sighed and showed his face, running a hand over his mouth and chin.

“What’s done is done” Loki spoke, making Hela look up “I cannot undo it”

That was a lie; he could undo it.

He hadn’t even done anything.

But there was something inside him, something dark that overtook everything in him, everything he was and _wanted_ him to do this, _wanted_ him to make Thor feel guilty and wanted to get away from his brother even as another part of him didn’t.

He was confused, so confused that he let it be, let the darkness be and let himself manipulate and control.

If his brother was gone, Loki could easily do whatever he wanted.

He wouldn’t be under constant pressure and even Byleistr had proved that he was happier when he wasn’t around Loki.

That and the fact that Thor had done nothing to console his after an assassination attempt on him just kept hardening his stupid resolve and Loki – obeyed.

The doors to the washroom clicked open and Loki gasped, turning to his side and gaining an indignant meow from Hela before she walked off, jumped over his joined ankles and went to where Thor was approaching.

Loki heard her meow and he heard Thor’s rumble of laughter. He tensed when he felt the bed dip behind him under Thor’s weight and a _horrible_ thought occurred to him.

Angry or not, Thor would not be wrong if he took Loki tonight. Loki was his and Thor would have him, even unwillingly, without anyone raising a brow in question.

And it seemed _that_ fear would come true when Thor placed a large hand on Loki’s shoulder and pulled.

Loki gasped, tensing and feeling his heart jam into his throat when Thor lay him on his back. When he resisted, Thor applied more pressure and Loki whimpered when Thor looked down at him.

He was shaking badly, his eyes wide and large as he looked upon his husband. Loki could feel his blood rush in his temples, threatening to explode them from the inside. His hands were curled against his chest and he lifted a shoulder and leg in silent askance for mercy.

There was no way he could see Thor’s expression in the dark, but he felt him move.

Loki cringed when Thor placed a hand right beside his head and leaned over him. A small cry escaped when Thor placed his head on Loki’s chest.

“Please…”

Loki froze, his eyes wide as they stared at the drapes at the top of his bed.

“Please” Thor whispered again “I’m so sorry. _Please_ forgive me”

Stilling when he heard Thor’s voice break and blinking when he felt him sob, Loki lay there in confusion.

“I have no excuse” Thor said “I was so worried about … Balder, I … and you were safe and …”

Thor broke off, weeping again, at what he had done to Loki.

Again.

He couldn’t never do anything right, Thor realized.

And at that very moment, Loki realized the trauma Thor had gone through.

He probably thought Balder was going to die. And Byleistr had forced him to hold him down as he screamed in agony.

Warrior or not, things like that stayed with you.

And Loki had been unharmed…

Thor shuddered again and Loki slowly put his arms around his massive shoulders.

The reaction was instant.

Thor gave a loud sob and climbed over Loki, hiding his face in his neck as he let loose all the trauma and _fear_ he had been inside him, clawing at him, raging to get out. But he had pulled it back by firm will.

Now, however, Loki had broken him and Thor kept it in no longer as he wept, holding his consort, love, lover close to himself and taking comfort even as Loki spoke not a word.

Halfway through his breakdown, Loki noticed that it had started to rain.

He turned his head aside, watching the water fall and inhaling the addictive scent that came forth.

Still, he said not a word and when he looked down some time later, he saw Thor sleeping against him, wet tracks shining on his cheeks as his breathing started to even out.

Loki sighed softly and began to massage Thor’s shoulders, closing his eyes as his own slumber came over him, unconsciously holding Thor closer to him and taking in the scent of ozone that seemed to always accompany his husband.

***  
Thor woke alone that morning.

Loki wasn’t beside him and though it hurt him deeply, he relaxed when he heard his love moving about downstairs.

“Come on” Loki was urging someone “It’s milk, it’s for you”

Thor smiled when he realized Loki was trying to feed his new pet and pushed off the covers to go to the bathroom. 

He relieved himself, brushed his teeth and washed his face before padding out, unwilling to change into proper clothes before he climbed down the stairs.

He grinned when he saw Hela and Loki at the dining table.

Loki sat in a chair, head held up by a hand as its elbow rested on the surface of the table, watching Hela as she drank the milk, tail swishing here and there.

“Good morn” Thor greeted

Loki looked up and Thor could almost see last night play in his eyes before he lowered them.

“Greetings of the morn” Loki said softly and sat back, placing his hands in his lap.

Thor bit his lip, decided to try and ignore it. He walked over to Loki, tipped his head up with a hand under his chin and kissed his lips.

Thor would have despaired at the coldness had Loki’s mouth not automatically moved against his a moment before he pulled back.

So when Thor straightened, he was filled with hope.

“Have you had breakfast?”

Loki shook his head “No”

“I shall ring for it” Thor walked over to where he summoned his servants from “the usual for you?”

“No” Loki said, looking at his hands “just tea or coffee for me, please. I’m not hungry”

Thor nodded, keeping his guilt at bay, and rang for the maid before coming over to sit on the chair at the head of the table next to Loki’s.

Hela gave a meow and walked over to Thor purring loudly as Thor scratched her ears and flicking her tail, her paws kneading the table in delight.

Thor chuckled when she rubbed against his face, scratching her cheek against his stubble.

“Mother and Father told us to stay indoors” Thor told Loki “So I guess we can spend the day together”

Loki nodded, feeling guilty for some reason “Okay”

Thor wasn’t put off “I have a chess board, perhaps you want to play?”

Loki shrugged and extended a hand to pet Hela. The cat purred loudly before she jumped into Loki’s lap and raised herself to place her paws on his chest.

Loki chuckled before Hela reached forward and pulled his pendant out from his collar.

“No!” Loki said sharply, pulling it back and lifting Hela away.

He placed her on the table and looked at his father’s pendant, checking for damage. When he didn’t find any, he relaxed and glared at her.

“No” he said firmly “don’t touch that”

“What’s that?”

Loki looked at Thor and blinked. He’d forgotten Thor was watching.

“Uh…” Loki said, pulling the pendant inside his tunic again “It’s nothing, just…”

He broke off at Thor’s raised brow.

“My father…” Loki said softly “it was his.”

Thor blinked and Loki saw something he hadn’t seen anyone do when he mentioned his father.

Thor’s expression went hurt “I’m sorry, Loki, for your loss. I don’t think I said that before. Laufey was a wonderful man and he must have been an outstanding father. I mourn him still and I pray for him every single time I cast my eyes upon your home.”

Loki didn’t realize until his vision blurred that his eyes had welled up with tears.

No one had ever said that to him.

True, they had mourned his loss but no one had ever said it to _him_. Byleistr always took their mourning and grief, disallowed it to Loki.

Whether it was to protect or harm, Loki would never know, but no one had ever told _Loki_ they were sorry and never told him they were sorry for _his_ loss.

He was just never significant enough.

So when Thor said it, it warmed him to the core.

“Loki?” Thor frowned.

Loki bit his lip and stood slowly, making Thor give him a confused glance.

Then, in a bold move, Loki turned to sit in Thor’s lap, grabbed the sides of his husband’s face and placed a lingering kiss on his mouth.

Thor’s hands tightened in his trousers as Loki kissed him for fear that if he moved, this fantasy would break.

His eyes fluttered shut as Loki opened his mouth wider and let Thor push his tongue in.

They both groaned and Thor raised his hands to place on Loki’s back to pull him closer.

They moved together, their tongues dancing over each other, their jaws opening and closing, getting wider each time, their eyes shut and their breath as one. It was erotic and sensual and beautiful.  
Their gasps rose higher, the sounds of their hot wet kisses leaving them both breathless made Hela look up from her milk.

But alas, they needed to breathe and broke off.

Thor looked up at Loki, his face flushed “Why did you do that?”

Loki spoke the truth before he could stop himself “Because you mended a part of my heart I didn’t even realize was broken. Thor, I don’t know how I managed without you for so long”

Thor frowned “Loki, what…?”

“Thor, I love you”

Thor gasped, inhaling in wonder because he never thought he would _ever_ hear Loki say those words.

They were gold, they were diamonds, they were emeralds and Thor wanted to hear them again and again.

“Loki…”

Loki lowered his head and kissed him again, groaning when Thor pulled him closer then tipping his head back when Thor began to kiss down his long neck, hands sliding under his tunic.

“Thor…” Loki breathed, hands fisting in his husband’s sleep tunic.

“My Beloved” Thor lifted Loki’s shirt off his head and threw it aside, licking and kissing his chest.

Loki whined and fisted a hand in Thor’s hair, keeping him where he was and gasping for breath. His heart hammered within his chest and he whimpered when Thor’s nails scratched his back.

“Please…” Loki panted, eyes shut “Thor, please…”

The door to their chambers suddenly burst open.

“Morning!” 

Loki gasped and jumped off Thor’s lap, grabbing his tunic and running up the stairs, Thor right on his tail.

Below, Idunn and Balder paused in confusion.

“Where are they?” Idunn asked

“Brother?” Balder called.

“I hate you, Balder!” Thor yelled from somewhere above “You have the worst timing, you idiot!”

Idunn giggled and placed a hand over his mouth while Balder looked at the stairs in confusion a moment before it hit him.

“Oh”

Idunn laughed “That’s probably what Loki was saying”

Above, Loki turned a bright red in shame and unwillingly repeated his brother’s cruel words to him.

His plan hit him a moment later and he gasped at the monumental blunder he’d just delivered to his own scheme.

He’d told Thor he loved him.

What an idiot!

How could he be so stupid!?

He slapped his forehead as he lay on the ground right above the stairs, with Thor at his feet.

He could never be rational when it came to his father.

True, what he said to Thor was real.

Loki had discovered it when Thor had forgiven him for everything. A few moments after Thor told him he was falling for him.

It had made Loki realize that the reason he felt so calm and easy with Thor was one thing; love.

Loki loved Thor.

He just hadn’t intended on telling him so soon. Now he couldn’t take it back.

He groaned and Thor chuckled, mistaking his mortification.

“Loki” he said, sliding closer “come here”

Loki allowed himself to be pulled back and laid flat on the floor, automatically running a hand over

Thor’s head as his husband looked down at him.

“Say it again” Thor began to kiss his chest, apparently having forgotten they had guests “one more time, I need to hear it”

Loki gasped at the sensations that went through him at what Thor’s mouth did to him. His hand fisted on the floor and in Thor’s hair and he bit his lips to keep from moaning.

“Are you decent?” Idunn called from below “Because we are coming up”

“Get lost, the pair of you!” Thor yelled, making Loki laugh.

“I think” Loki breathed, pushing Thor away “we should do this later. They seem rather adamant”

“They seem rather _annoying_!” Thor yelled at the stairs “you couldn’t have waited five minutes?!”

“Five minutes?” Loki asked, eyebrow arched

“An hour!?” Thor amended quickly.

“No” Balder chuckled “now come down, we are hungry”

“Go to the kitchen!” Thor yelled as Loki stood and pulled his tunic on before going to the washroom

“Why are you here?”

“We were bored” Idunn announced “and I want to play a game with Loki”

Thor growled and Loki chuckled.

“Forget it, husband” Loki said, coming out with his night robe on “she won’t let us do anything”

He came over and nudged Thor with his foot when Thor fell to the floor

“Thor” he urged “come on, get up”

“Thor died” Loki was told “this is his sexual frustration speaking”

Loki turned a bright red and rubbed his mouth before going down the stairs “As you wish, then”

Thor groaned and stood, following Loki as he climbed down the stairs to see Idunn holding Hela in her hands and Balder pulling a chair out for Loki.

Something stirred in Thor and for a moment he felt tight and tense, but it passed and he shrugged in confusion before walking over to where the others sat.

***

“Okay” Thor said, thinking “does this person have the worst timing in history?”

“It’s not Balder, Thor” Loki said, drawing circles on the table with his fingertip as he listened to Thor try and guess who he’d thought of.

“Okay” Thor hummed.

They were waiting for breakfast and Idunn announced the commencement of a game Thor could never win.  
Thor had boasted loudly until Loki made him try and guess the person Loki had thought of.

So far, Thor had no luck.

“Was he with us yesterday?”

“Yes” Loki said “You have one question left. Either guess or ask”

Thor hummed and  looked about. He looked at Balder, who looked ecstatic that Thor wasn’t guessing and Idunn, who cocked her brow at him.

Thor made a face and looked at the pattern Loki was making with his finger. He hummed, thinking of the question that could either make him lose or – make him lose.

And he would be mocked, he knew.

So as he thought, he watched Loki’s finger and watched the movement. He blinked when he realized that it wasn’t a random pattern at all.

Loki was writing something.

G-I–B-R-A-G-I-B-R…

Thor grinned and looked at Loki’s face. His face was impassive but mischief glittered in his eyes.

“Okay” Thor sat back and Loki went back to tracing circles again “Is he related to me by blood?”

“Yes” Loki smiled

“Bragi”

Loki grinned “Yes”

Thor laughed and threw his hands in the air before beaming at his brother.

“See!” Thor yelled, jumping up and looking at Loki “You perfect, perfect man!”

He spread his arms before gently grabbing Loki’s head and kissing his hair.

Loki blushed violently and Idunn scoffed.

“Please” she said “that was easy. Guess another”

“After breakfast” Loki said as Thor sat back in his seat “It’s here”

Leah bowed to them as she entered, another following with trays of their meal.

Loki smiled at Leah, making her blush after she set the table and bowed out to let them have their food in privacy.

“So” Balder said, forking up his eggs “what have you planned for today?”

Thor shrugged a shoulder “I  had a class today, but Father insisted on spending time inside; he thinks we are tired and need rest”

Balder hummed “You can teach it in the west training ring; it’s inside”

“You teach?” Loki asked, stirring his coffee.

“Aye” Idunn said “So does Balder. So will you, in time”

Loki blinked “Why?”

“Tradition” Balder said “As royals people not only look up to us, they expect us to teach them. We became worthy of our titles only after we became warriors and masters. Once we beat our mentors, we

become mentors ourselves. Then we teach those that come to learn”

“Thor teaches once a week” Idunn said “four hour class. Balder teaches on alternate days”

“It’s a must” Thor told Loki over his breakfast “One I wish you will uphold”

“But” Loki began to get nervous “I don’t have … I don’t know anything”

“You have your magic” Idunn said “Practice that. Let Odin himself teach you”

Loki’s eyes went wide “What?”

“Odin and Frigga are the masters of magic” Idunn said “if you learn and beat them, you shall become the greatest sorcerer here”

Loki stared at them.

He wanted to refuse.

He wasn’t good at anything, hadn’t he understood his brother? One thing he was good for and one thing he did.

He didn’t even know about these traditions, how could he uphold them!?

“I …”

“You don’t have to do it right away” Balder told him “you can start in a year or two”

Idunn shrugged “Perhaps more if you have children before”

Loki turned read, almost frantic “But…”

“It’s just expected” Thor told him kindly “Do not pressure yourself. After our wedding ball, you can start with either Mother or Father. Or train with us if you so wish”

“But have a care because if you _do_ , get with child, you would have to be careful” Idunn went on.

Loki stared at them, his coffee forgotten, his eyes large and confused.

Children…customs ….balls…training…teaching…tradition…

No one had told him about this! He didn’t understand any of Asgard’s customs and now he had to uphold them?!

“I…” Loki looked at Thor and saw his husband’s frown “I mean…”

Balder bit his lip when Loki suddenly stood, breakfast forgotten.

“Excuse me”

Loki walked to the stairs calmly before running up, ignoring Thor’s call.

“Loki, wait!” Thor stood.

Balder raised a hand “I’ll go see”

When Thor frowned, Balder sighed “He needs comfort from others, too, Thor. He’s family – let him feel all of us care for him”

Thor made to argue, but Idunn placed a hand over his arm and he calmed. Balder turned and walked up the steps, heading to their chambers. The bed as still unmade and Balder found something hurt his chest when he saw the rumpled sheets.

He couldn’t place what it was and was denied the time when he saw a door opened to the side.

He’d never been here before, so he was careful, knocking on the opened door before he walked in.

Loki sat on a bench in what Balder assumed was the very lab that turned him into an infant. He had his back to Balder and was playing with something around his neck. His head was bowed and he took deep breaths to calm himself.

“Loki?” Balder walked in.

The young man startled and sat up, twisting his torso to look at the First Prince.

“I’m sorry” Loki stood, rubbing nonexistent dust off his shoulder “I didn’t mean to be so rude”

Balder waved a hand, dismissing it, and sat on the same bench Loki had occupied, patting the place beside him.

But Loki just stood nervously lacing and unlacing his fingers, biting his lip.

He seemed to want to say something but was hesitant.

“Loki?”

“You saved my life” Loki suddenly said “by almost giving yours. I do not know how to thank you”

Balder’s expression softened “No need to”

Loki shook his head and came to sit beside him “I haven’t been … welcoming of you. I remain wary and distant and cold even though you try to be nice. I didn’t deserve you … I didn’t deserve you saving me like you did”

Balder sighed and placed a hand on Loki’s shoulder “Loki, look at me”

Slowly, Loki raised his eyes to Balder’s face.

“You are family, Loki” Balder said “ _My_ family. And we have been vowed to protect each other – even if it means giving your life. Had I died, I wouldn’t have regretted it”

Loki shook his head again “Not me. I am a bought thing, I have no real place here…”

Balder frowned “What makes you say this, Loki? why do you think so meanly of yourself?”

Loki shrugged and looked away “It’s a truth I need to face. The same truth that makes me unfit to uphold your traditions. I have been destined to warm your brother’s bed, that is all. I _have_ no other use. I know paltry magic and I cant fight. What have I to offer?”

Balder’s mouth tightened at this.

“I couldn’t even see that someone was trying to kill me…”

His voice started to shake and Loki placed a hand over his mouth.

“And I caused you to get hurt” Loki went on, staring at the ground “I caused Thor to get hurt. And if my brother hadn’t saved you …”

Balder started to rub his back.

“I cause you trouble and pain and nothing else” Loki said, lowering his head “how can I teach things I do not know? How can I face people who I know think nothing of me?”

His hand went to the pendant at his throat.

“How could I fit in?”

Balder waited a heart beat before he turned Loki to face him.

“Are you finished?” he asked “because if you are, let me correct you”

Loki blinked.

“You are not useless and you are not trouble” Balder said “you are a wonderful person, someone we are lucky to have as family. You are one of us already, you do not need to fit in. You already belong here. Whatever these notions are in your head, forget them. They are wrong. You know magic, good magic. You killed an alpha bilgesnipe all by yourself! None of us has ever done that. Volstagg got himself bit in the arse by what you killed without raising a finger!”

Loki, head lowered, gave a breathy laugh.

“You are with us, and we with you, every step of the way.” Balder told him “You are brave and kind and mature and you have been through what we cannot fathom ever going through, you are stoic. Brave and honest. You don’t need Asgard’s approval, they need yours. You sacrificed yourself for your home. That is a claim few can make here”

Balder tipped Loki’s face up towards himself.

“Never let yourself think you are anything other than deserving of every good bestowed upon you”

Balder said “you are kind, sweet, generous and charming. You already have Fandral drooling over you”

Loki blushed and looked away but Balder gently grabbed his jaw and faced him again.

“You,” Balder said, looking at him “are beautiful”

Loki felt it, something going wrong, but was unable to prevent it.

And a moment later, Balder’s lips were on his own and he froze in horror.

***

Loki’s eyes were wide, thinking this a trick or a nightmare, but when he felt himself shudder, he knew this was happening.

He gave a gasp and roughly shoved Balder off, leaping to his feet and rubbing a hand over his mouth, eyes large as he stared at Balder.

“What are you doing?!” Loki almost screamed, backing away from him.

For his part, Balder looked as shocked as he.

He spluttered wordlessly for a while before staring at Loki.

“Loki, I …”

But Loki was pale and frightened and he spun around to run.

He ran through the door and his chambers, flying down the stairs and made Thor look up, worried.

“Loki!”

“Excuse me!” Loki yelled, sprinting to the door, hair flying, before he pulled it open and ran out into the hall.

His eyes were wide in stunned disbelief as he ran down the palace stairs and out into the gardens.

He heard Thor coming behind him and calling him but he didn’t care. He ran faster, past the guards, the nobles, the men and women that always talked about him and headed to the one place he could find _some_ semblance of peace.

***

Idunn’s trees were comforting and understanding as Loki ran to them, finding the thickest before he started to climb it. He went higher and higher, until the trees stopped the world above and below and shielded him from everything.

Once there, Loki grabbed his hair, his eyes wide in shock as he panted loudly.

“Oh Norns…Oh Norns…” he kept muttering, feeling himself shiver and shudder.

His chest hurt badly and his heart was racing so fast he feared he would pass out.

“Norns above…” Loki panted “Gods, help me…”

What the _hell_ was that!?

Why did Balder do that!?

What possessed him!?

Loki was so confused, so _confused_ and _scared_!

One moment they were talking and Loki was beginning to regret his treatment of Balder and the next moment…

Loki gasped and placed his fingers over his mouth.

He could still feel him there. Here, on his mouth, where Balder had no right to be!

Loki could still _feel_ him.

Breath shuddering, Loki rubbed the back of his hand against his lips, making them redden and swell and look as though he _had_ been kissing for the past hour.

Shivering and panting, Loki raised a hand to his forehead.

Oh Gods, when Thor found out…

And right as Loki had confessed so stupidly and implemented a plan that would get him freedom…

Thor was right – Balder really had the worst timing!

And Loki was going to pay for it.

Because Thor was going to _kill_ him!

“Loki?”

Loki gasped, a hand going to his mouth to cover it. he pushed himself further into the tree, hiding behind the trunk when he saw Thor’s figure below him.

“Loki, I know you are here” Thor said “come down”

It was a command.

Loki felt his heart thud against his chest.

“Loki!”

He flinched “Coming!”

Thor waited, his hands at his hips, listening to the leaves shift above him as his husband climbed down. 

Loki’s head was lowered as he looked down, extending a foot to judge the difference between limb and ground, as he sat on a low branch.

As he hesitated, Thor walked up and grabbed his ankle, yanking him down.

Loki gasped as he fell right into Thor’s arms and had the wind knocked out of him when Thor pinned him against the tree.

Loki looked at him, his eyes wide, hands raised in case Thor decided to beat him here and now.

He gasped when Thor grabbed his hair and pushed him back, pressed him against the trunk. He lowered his golden head and gave Loki’s mouth a hard, punishing kiss.

Loki whimpered and tried to recoil but stopped when Thor’s grip became steel. He closed his eyes, enduring it until Thor stepped back.

Gasping, Loki looked up at him and swallowed.

“Never” Thor said “I said never run from me again”

It was a moment of epiphany for Loki because he realized Thor wasn’t hurting him.

Because Thor didn’t know.

***

That night, Loki pleaded a headache to get out of having dinner with everyone.

Thor was concerned and though he hovered, he let Loki have peace when the younger requested it.

And once Thor left, Loki went to their bed, intending on reading because his stomach was knotting too much for him to eat.

Sighing, he walked to his bedside table to lift his book.

He picked it up and frowned when a small, folded piece of paper fell from within.

Curious, Loki reached down and picked it up to see something scrawled upon it.

_I commend you on your wedding, brother._ __  
  


_I request clemency on the fact that I couldn’t make it._ __  
  


_Be assured, though, that I wish to offer you my congratulations_ __  
  


_In person, real soon_

Loki stared at it a moment before he paled upon realization.

This wasn’t Byleistr’s script.


	17. Warm Blue Eyes

“Loki!”

Loki gasped and jolted violently, dropping the paper in his hand before bending over to grab it and  crumple it, shove it in his pocket.

“My love, where are you?”

Hela meowed

“Not you, Hela” Thor said, trudging into the room “Has your headache receded?”

Loki’s eyes widened and he jumped into bed, lying on his back with an arm over his eyes. The book lay forgotten on Thor’s side and Loki pretended to sleep when he heard Thor thumping up the stairs.

“Beloved, where…?” Thor broke off, blinking when he saw Loki sprawled on the bed, trying to shield his eyes from the light in the room.

Thor sighed and smiled “There go my chances of gaining another beautiful confession out of you, love”

Loki remained still as he heard Thor approach.

Clearly thinking him asleep, Thor sat at the edge of the bed and lifted Loki’s foot, placing it in his lap.

“You know, Beloved” Thor said as he unbuckled Loki’s boot “I never thought I would hear the words you said to me today”

Gently, Thor pulled off his shoe and placed it aside, placing his cool hand against Loki’s slightly heated foot before gently placing it away and putting his shoe beside the bed. He reached for the other and rested it on his knee.

“I thought for sure I would never be worthy of something so” Thor pushed the buckled “precious”

Loki swallowed the lump in his throat and willed himself to remain still.

“I thought you truly … resented me, especially after all I have done” Thor pulled off his shoe and placed the back of his hand against Loki’s sole to cool it “I thought you were bearing with me, nothing more.”

Once cooled, Thor began to knead Loki’s foot, massaging it as it lay in his lap.

Loki had to bite the inside of his lip to keep from sighing in pleasure. 

“And then when you ran…” Thor sighed, sitting on the bed and crossing his legs, placing Loki’s foot on his lap again “I thought my heart would stop because you ran so fast”

He laced his fingers with Loki’s toes and squeezed. Loki gasped loudly.

Thor smiled “I knew you were awake”

Loki didn’t move and Thor shook his head “Stubborn little love”

Loki didn’t move as he felt Thor loom over him but he opened his eyes when Thor lifted his arm away.

“Greetings, cherub” Thor smiled, kissing the tip of Loki’s nose “How is your headache?”

Loki sighed, it was so easy to forget when Thor was around.

“Blonde, blue eyed” Loki replied “incapable of giving me privacy”

Thor grinned lovingly and kissed his forehead before running a hand over his head, lips moving in prayer.

“Usually” Thor said, looking into Loki’s eyes “A cool bath works in curing a headache. I wish to have one, too, if you are”

Loki blushed

Thor sighed “Or not. How is it that you are willing to sleep with me but not bathe?”

Loki went even brighter and turned his head away.

“Love” Thor turned his head back “please don’t look away from me. It makes me think I have done something wrong again and broke what fragile trust you have in me.”

Loki gave him a soft smile.

Thor was just so _beautiful_ that Loki could pretend with him. he could lie to himself, if only for a few moments, that everything was fine, that Thor wasn’t going to break him when he found out what Balder did. So easy to forget that he was tricking him.

“Perhaps…” he whispered “a bath wouldn’t be too bad”

“I have your Bubble Bath” Thor said.

Loki’s eyes went wide “Truly?”

“Yes” Thor smiled “I got them when I brought Hela over. And something else, too”

Loki smiled “Then…I mean…can we…?”

Thor kissed his mouth “I thought you would never ask”

Loki chuckled when Thor straightened, grabbing his ankles and pulling him towards him. He hooked Loki’s ankles around his hips and lifted him up, carrying him to the washroom.

Loki tied his hands behind Thor’s shoulder, looking into his grinning face before he rested his chin on Thor’s shoulder and let himself be carried around like a child.

Thor chuckled when he kicked open the door and let Loki stand up.

Loki was slowly blushing deeper and deeper and Thor went to turn on the water of the larger pool, just to give Loki some privacy.

He kept his back turned and pulled off his tunic, not looking over when he heard Loki doing the same. He knew that Loki was nervous, he knew Loki had his back to him and he smiled at the rapid speed with which Loki undressed and went into the bath, wadding over to where Thor kept the Bubble Bath and unplugging it. he heard the sounds the fluid made as it splashed into the water and he heard the soft laugh Loki gave when the bubbles started to form, sweet smelling and pink.

When he heard the water shut off, heard the water move as Loki went to sit on a low bench and was somewhat covered by the bubbles, Thor turned.

He smiled when he saw a small batch of bubbles stuck on top of Loki’s head, then laughed when Loki gave him a self conscious look.

“What?” Loki asked

“Nothing” Thor shook his head “You’re just beautiful”

Loki blinked and looked at the bubbles, slowly lowering his hands to make imprints in them as he heard Thor get in from the other end.

Thor sighed as he sunk low, dipping himself in once to wet his hair before he came out and pushed his blonde locks back.

Loki was still huddled in the corner, looking at the bubbles and rubbing his arms.

Something was bothering him and Thor frowned.

“Beloved, are you alright?”

Loki looked up at him before lowering his gaze again “Yes”

Thor sighed and swam over, coming to halt right before Loki, noticing the way he tensed. He tipped Loki’s head towards himself and looked into his eyes. Thor sat on his knees before him, basically begging him at the moment.

“Loki” Thor rubbed his lower lip with a thumb “What’s the matter?”

Looking into those eyes, so large and blue and safe, Loki wanted to confess everything, he wanted to tell Thor what he was about to do, what he felt for Thor, how badly he wanted to say those words again, and how frightened he was of doing that.

Thor would have even more power over him that way. It would break the fragile hold _he_ had over the golden prince.

So he told him the one thing he should have told him the first time it happened.

Loki swallowed loudly and looked at Thor, sadness overcoming his green eyes.

“Thor…” he said very softly, his voice breaking a little, fading into nothing.

Thor frowned “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t do this” Loki said “I can’t be with you”

***

If Thor had been buried alive, it would have been more merciful.

If he had been torn apart and killed, he would have accepted it.

If his heart had been ripped out and devoured raw, he would have watched it.

But this…

This he couldn’t handle.

His heart just stopped when Loki said that, his blood ran cold and his insides turned to ice. His breathing broke, shattered, just like everything within him at the announcement and he stared at Loki in disbelief and unimaginable pain.

He’d said it.

Thor’s worst fears had come true. The only thing he knew that could kill him had just happened.

And his love had been withered.

Loki watched him, probably waiting for something to happen, something bad by the way he cringed from Thor.

Thor swallowed loudly “W-why?”

Loki raised his green eyes to Thor’s “I …”

“Is it me?”

“No!” Loki said suddenly, raising a hand and lowering it a moment later “It’s not you, it’s never you. it’s just…”

Thor frowned “What? What is it?”

“I can’t do the things you want me to do” Loki said, looking him right in the eyes “I can’t teach, I can’t dance, I can’t do anything, Thor, how … how can I be expected to do so much?”

Something right himself in Thor and he felt the red haze of panic recede.

He exhaled and ran a hand down his face before getting up and sitting beside Loki.

“Listen to me, my love” Thor said, placing an arm around Loki’s shoulders “and listen very carefully. You can anything you want. Anything you desire. This is your home and if this makes you uncomfortable, you don’t have to! You have a choice, Loki, you have the right to say no and do what you feel like doing. You don’t want to go to a ball, then don’t. You don’t want to teach, forget it. But never…”

Thor grabbed his shoulders “Never say you can’t be with me. Because something only as drastic as death is going to take me away from you. I love you, Loki, I love you. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t like, I don’t want to force you or even say something twice if you don’t want me to.”

He sighed and kissed Loki’s forehead “Loki, you cannot know what you just did to me. I felt the purpose of everything vanished when I heard those words. Beloved, I will do anything for you, anything you wish. Just … talk to me. Tell me how you feel so that I can make everything easier for you.”

He brushed Loki’s hair behind his ear “I am your shield, Loki, your sword…and you are my savior. We might not have started out well, but I feel … I don’t know …”

Loki looked into his eyes when Thor’s locked with his “I cannot live. Not without you”

He cupped Loki’s jaw and kissed his forehead again.

“I’ll die”

Loki blinked slowly, unable to believe this was happening, waiting for Thor to say something or do something cruel, but when Thor pulled him to his chest and kissed his hair, Loki started to rethink.

Perhaps Thor meant what he said, perhaps Loki _was_ important to him.

“Th – Thor?”

“Yes, my dearest heart?” Thor asked, still holding him close.

“Do you truly mean this?” Loki asked, raising a hand to trace a pattern on Thor’s shoulder “All that you say?”

“Yes” Thor replied “I’ll give up Mjolnir, Loki, not you”

Loki bit his lip and closed his eyes “May I ask you for a favor?”

“You can ask me for anything” Thor said “Ill deliver”

“I don’t want to have a child”

Thor blinked.

“Not right now” Loki said, staring at the water “I cannot … I will not be able to handle it. Not at the moment. Not when we are still…new to each other”

Thor didn’t speak and Loki started to get worried.

Had he already gone too far?

He tried to pull himself from Thor but gasped when Thor held on tighter.

“Thor?” Loki breathed nervously

He knew it; he knew it wasn’t true and the fact that he’d believed –

Thor chuckled and Loki froze.

“Forgive me” Thor said softly, running Loki’s back “I was in thought”

Loki blinked but remained silent.

“Truth be told, I wasn’t thinking of having children, Loki” Thor said “I was content with having you here, with being married to you and living with you…  I hadn’t even thought of them until you brought it up. Two beautiful little girls with your eyes and my hair. Or a boy that you will teach magic to. The two of you will spend all your time in the library and I will come up behind you to…”

Loki startled when Thor suddenly stopped.

“But none of that matters if you are not ready, darling” Thor let him go and tried not to show his pain when Loki put distance between them “I’ll wait”

Loki gave him a small smile and nodded, then took a deep breath and went under water.

Thor watched his shape go with acute pain in his chest; probably an aftermath of the near fatal blow Loki had just given him.

Thor had felt his world shatter a few moments ago, known something that was worst than any pain that could have ever been inflicted upon him. It was so terrible he would have considered pain as something sweet.

All Thor wanted Loki’s love. All he wanted was to keep Loki, give him happiness and cherish him.

He needed to cherish him otherwise he feared Loki would be taken from him.

He’d died once before, when he had received news of Jane’s death.

He couldn’t survive another blow like that. especially when _Loki_ was the one giving him that blow.

He looked up when Loki resurfaced, all the way from the other side, his back to Thor.

Thor froze as he rose from the water like a siren, his hair damp and trickling water, his back glazed by rivulets that ended at the dip of his tailbone.

And then Loki looked over his shoulder at Thor, batting his lashes demurely, almost seductively and gave him a smile destined to melt polar ice caps in Jotunhiem.

Thor could swear he felt his jaw hit the tiled floor of the bath and he felt a heat pool in his loins.

Loki, apparently unaware of his effect, pushed back his hair and gave Thor his profile, giving him a perfect view of his side, the flat stomach, the tease of the water sloshing against his firm, round buttocks, the spine that Thor couldn’t take his eyes off.

Then the tease took a deep breath and dipped under the water again, waving a hand to turn the surface opaque.

Thor blinked in surprise.

“Loki?”

He yelped when his ankle was grabbed and jumped, spinning towards the touch and looking down.

A grin came over his face when he realized Loki was playing with him.

“Oh” Thor chuckled, lifting his hands and looking at the obscure waters “I see how it is”

Loki surfaced in the corner behind Thor and took another breath, winking at his husband. He vanished under the water again, and Thor began to step back.

He had an advantage here; he was a warrior, skilled in battle, trained for situations where visibility was almost nonexistent. So he focused.

His blue eyes turned to slits as he focused on the water, at the ripples Loki would no doubt cause even as the water remained a stubborn, thick blue. He focused on the movement of the waves by his feet and he smiled when he felt something pass on his left.

Anticipation was what needed, he would anticipate where Loki would go.

He stood still, so still that his tutors would have praised him, and closed his eyes, taking in his atmosphere, waiting with held breath for Loki to make a move. Everything about him was now sensing, even under the water, his feet were firmly planted, like a statue.

So when Loki’s hand moved to touch his ankle, when he felt the waters hit him gently, Thor smiled.

He swooped like a hawk, splashing into the water and grabbing Loki’s arms as though he were the fish.

Thor pulled him out, gasping and laughing as Loki spluttered, shaking his raven hair and parting his mouth for breath, his eyes wide in wonder.

Thor laughed “You sneaky devil!”

Loki looked at him with large eyes, mouth opened upon breath.

He was so confused and dismayed and so adorable that Thor couldn’t resist.

He yanked him close and placed a kiss on his parted lips.

***

Loki clung to him, without clothes, damp and wet.

His arms looped around Thor’s massive shoulders and his legs were splayed wide, settling Thor between them.

His head was thrown back, mouth open on soundless screams as Thor pounded into him, his muscled back working to extract moan after moan from his pale, long limbed lover.

“Thor…” Loki gasped, his eyes shut as he was pushed to the brink of release, hot, shooting pleasure going up his spine.

He keened and moaned when Thor’s hand began to pump him and he whined when he arched his back, trying to reach his climax but finding himself lacking.

He couldn’t do it himself – he needed Thor to do it.

“Thor, please…” he whined, pleading to his husband to grant him this.

“I know, love” Thor kissed his neck, his jaw, his mouth and pushed his tongue into Loki’s lips, sliding it to match the motion down below.

“Please…” Loki whined, the sound desperate and reaching to the ceiling.

He lifted his hips again, willing himself to release as Thor moved in and out, pleasuring him, pushing him, but never over the edge.

“Thor” he gasped,  digging his heels in the mattress “let me…I can’t…”

“You will, darling” Thor said, pumping him faster because Loki looked exhausted “I’ll make sure of it”

Then Loki felt it collect within him, the whirl of pleasure and pain alike, he felt it rise, swell and take him over.

His mouth parted as Thor moved inside him, his slick passage being pounded into, sending lightning shooting up inside him.

“Thor!” he screamed, throat arched as he finally released, finally felt the pressure depress.

He collapsed back, feeling Thor rock him _and_ the bed with his movements. He was sated and sore and he panted as Thor kept on moving.

Then Thor arched and Loki’s eyes went wide.

“Not inside…” he pleaded softly “Thor, not inside” 

It was so soft, barely a breath and Loki was amazed when Thor heard it.

Giving a pained groan, Thor willed himself to stop, willed himself to halt his own pleasure. He pulled out with a soft to give his beloved what he needed and dragged his arousal between Loki’s thighs, gaining a loud moan from Loki before he shouted his own release, loud and resonating, all over their fronts.

Thor fell with a gasp, crushing Loki into the bedding and burying his face in Loki’s long, elegant neck. He lay panting for a while before he started to mouth at Loki’s shoulder, licking his skin every now and then.  
Loki’s hand moved soothingly on his back and he lay buried under him, his head tipped to accommodate Thor’s movements.

“Thank you” Loki whispered “for listening to me”

Thor chuckled against his neck “Thank you for telling me”

Loki smiled slowly, genuinely, before he yawned loudly.

“My headache’s gone”

Thor smiled and raised his head to look at him “No, he’s right here, looking down at you”

Loki blinked at him before he grinned “We need another bath”

Thor’s face lit up

Loki gave him a dry glare “Nothing else, Thor, or I shall use my magic to clean us both”

“Sorry” Thor rested his chin on Loki’s chest and looked at him with impossibly large eyes “I’m sorry, my love”

Loki rolled his eyes and rested a hand on Thor’s head, gently running his fingers through his hair.

Hela meowed from somewhere below and gave a purr, demanding attention.

“Hela wants you” Thor announced

Loki hummed “No, she wants to come up here. Give her a few moments, she will join us”

Thor groaned and slid off Loki, looking down at the mess they had made on themselves. He smiled.

“Lecher” 

Loki waved a hand and they were clean.

Thor made a dismayed sound and Loki smiled.

“Next time” Loki turned to his side, yawning again “I am too sleepy for a bath at the moment”

Thor hummed and curled on his side, coming over to rest his head on Loki’s shoulder and pull his arms around his waist. They lay like that for a long, long while, relaxed and sated and content. They started to slip into slumber slowly.

“Loki?” Thor said, eyes slowly drooping 

“Hmm?” Loki asked, half asleep, one hand over Thor’s at his middle.

“Say that you love me again”

Loki smiled “That you love me again”

Thor whined lazily “Please…”

“You know that I do, Thor” Loki whispered, his voice fading into a breath “Why must I say it again?”

“So that I sleep happily” Thor replied, closing his eyes.

A soft snore escaped the thunder god and Loki’s thumb moved on the back of Thor’s hand.

“I love you, Thor”

***

The next morning, they locked the doors for good measure.

Breakfast had been ordered, but both Thor and Loki were busy.

They sat in Thor’s chair, Loki straddling Thor’s hips, both his pale hands cupping Thor’s face as they kissed, their mouths moving as one, their bodies pressed together. Thor clawed at Loki’s back, slithering over the cloth to pull him closer and Loki opened his mouth wider, allowing Thor more access and moaning when Thor worshipped the inside of his mouth.

He gasped as he broke off to breathe, moaning when Thor latched onto his throat. One hand fisted in the blonde hair while the other looped around his neck. Thor’s hands roved under Loki’s tunic, holding his waist and pulling him closer, lifting the garment enough to pay attention to Loki’s chest, licking and kissing and sucking red marks to bruise his skin. Loki’s nails dug into Thor’s shoulders because of the searing sensations that tore through him.

He grinded against Thor, wanting more and more and _more_!

“Thor…”

With a growl, Thor stood with Loki in his arms and splayed him on the table before looming over him and kissing him again. He spread his legs to move closer, grabbing his waist again and Loki arched up against him, groaning into the kiss

Thor growled and grabbed his hips, yanked him closer and slotted their mouths firmly together, grinding against Loki’s arousal and making him pant and arch against him, moaning into his mouth and whining desperately.

Someone cleared their throat.

Thor leapt off his lover and Loki gasped, jumping off the table, his face red in humiliation. He rubbed his arms and looked away, unable to look at Leah as she entered with their breakfast.

“Leah!” Thor said, his cheeks red as he ran a hand through his hair “Good morning, my dear”

“My lord” Leah bowed and went to where Loki had been sprawled not too long ago

Loki made his way to the other side of the room, keeping his back to both of them, his face red in shame.

Thor might like it when he responded so, but others would call him an animal or worse – and he didn’t want to hear it.

“Lord Loki” Leah bowed to his back “breakfast is served. And a package for you”

Loki frowned and looked back when crumpling paper sounded in the room and saw Leah place a large, brown bag on the table as well.

“Enjoy your breakfast” she curtsied and walked away without another word or backwards glance.

Only when she was gone did Loki slap his forehead, making Thor chuckle.

“Forget it, my darling” Thor said, walking over to where Loki’s package was “I fear we shall have many such instances in the future”

“We wouldn’t if we locked doors” Loki muttered and walked over, looking at what Thor was opening

“What is it?”

“Mead” Thor grinned, pulling the bottle out “Elven mead. And we did lock the doors. We just forgot the servant’s entrance”

Loki made a face at him and grimaced at the gift.

“One thinks others would consider what I like and dislike before they send me something” Loki grumbled “Who is it from?”

Thor put the bottle down and lifted the bag, searching for a note or something.

“It doesn’t say” Thor said, crushing the bag.

Alarm flared up in Loki.

“Don’t touch it, Thor” he walked over and lifted the bottle “Throw it away”

Thor blinked and smiled “Relax, Loki, it’s just a bottle…”

“It could be poisoned” Loki said, pulling the bottle away when Thor reached for it “No, Thor!”

Thor sighed “Loki…”

“No” Loki said firmly, stepping back “Thor, think first. What if someone wants to hurt me again?”

Thor blinked at that logic and realized Loki’s fear.

His face softened “Darling…”

“No” Loki said, pulling the bottle behind his back “I am _not_ being unreasonable. Someone tried to _kill_ me, Thor! Like I was nothing more than an insect! They poisoned an arrow and they aimed it at me!”

“I know” Thor walked closer and Loki began to shake.

“And if Balder wasn’t there, I …” Loki gasped and placed a hand over his mouth, as though doing so would make it undone “I …”

Thor embraced him and buried his face in his shoulder. 

“It’s alright, Loki” Thor said, rubbing his back “You’re alright”

“No!” Loki squirmed and pulled away “It’s not! They failed once, Thor, they will try it again! I can feel it! It’s crawling within my skin, the idea of them just waiting and watching me, wanting to see me outside so they can kill me again …!”

He started to pant, his eyes wide “Thor, I can’t take it, I …”

Loki broke off when Thor grabbed him and kissed him, pulling Loki closer when he tried to break it off and keeping him there until he closed his green eyes.

Loki whimpered and Thor pulled back, looking down at him.

Loki’s eyes were closed and Thor lifted a hand to touch his cheeks, making him flutter his lids open.

“I’m right here” Thor whispered “I’m right before you, ready to protect you, Beloved”

“You can’t promise me that” Loki whispered “they hate me, Thor, it could be anyone, I …”

Thor kissed him again and Loki felt two thick tears roll down his cheeks.

He opened his watery green eyes again, mouth parted and swollen.

“I won’t let them”

“You can’t stop…”

His mouth was taken again and Loki whimpered loudly, trying to put distance between them but Thor wasn’t allowing it.

He gasped when Thor pulled back and lifted his frightened gaze to his husband’s.

“I will _never_ let them” Thor repeated.

“Thor….”

Loki gasped when Thor kissed him again, pulling him close and stopping him from retreating or speaking.

He closed his eyes again and gave a soft moan when Thor fisted a hand in his hair and tilted his head to better accommodate the kiss.

Thor pulled back and looked at Loki, so pliant and helpless, eyes dazed and half closed, mouth tender and swollen red. He looked debauched and Thor smirked.

“Have you so little faith in me?” he asked  
  
Loki didn’t speak. He slowly shook his head.

“Then stop worrying, my heart” Thor kissed his forehead “You’ll get wrinkles”

Loki closed his eyes and allowed Thor to hold him, allowed him to rest his lithe frame against his massive form and just …

Let him.

***

Trust Idunn to distract Loki, Thor thought as he went back to his chambers, sweaty and tired.

His sparring had gone better than he had ever thought and the students that he taught were given a valuable lesson about how safety wasn’t in numbers.

Thor had single handedly taken them down one by one until the last, panicked to the point of being stupid, had paled when he saw Thor looming over him and attacked in a frenzy.

Thor had downed him with a push and told him _never_ to let his fear overcome him.

Applause had followed, where all the downed men had shown goodwill.

Then Fandral had taken over and tied their hands to one another, stressing on team work. Thor had sat and watched for an hour before he realized that he was an unholy stench in the ring and stood, heading for his chambers. 

He was disappointed that Loki wasn’t there and glad at the same time because that meant he had gone with Idunn.

Thor smiled when he realized there was someone Loki had befriended, someone other than Thor he voluntarily wanted to be with.

It made him happy.

Grimacing when he smelled his own stench, Thor padded upstairs and into the bath, running the water to fill it up.

He didn’t use the bubble bath, leaving it for Loki, and stepped in, sighing at the cool feel of water against his heated skin.

It was wonderful.

Reaching for the shampoo he’d bought, Thor massaged it into his scalp and hummed at the lovely feel, letting himself indulge for as long as he wanted.

He thought of Loki and he thought of asking him to let Thor was him once.

He wanted to rub Loki’s shoulders, put shampoo into his hair and rub the scrub down his body.

Thor almost moaned out loud at that and dunked himself under water swimming the length of the medium sized pool and coming out the other end, looking behind him at the trail of bubbles he’d left.

He did it again and again, swimming and enjoying himself for an hour before he decided to come out.

Washing himself properly, rubbing his muscled arms and torso with sweet smelling soap; he used Loki’s, just to irritate him.

He dunked himself again and emerged clean and Loki- smelling.

Wrapping a bath towel around his waist, Thor walked into his chambers and went to his wardrobe, pulling out his clothes and letting his hair drip water on the beautiful marble under his bare feet.

Padding to the stairs, he thought about looking through the documents his father had sent him, something about how Farbauti had suddenly vanished, taken his entire army with him and gone into hiding.

It was highy suspicious and Odin wanted Thor to look over the men he wished to send. Thor knew them better and Odin wished he would make sure they could handle Jotunhiem – and being led by Byleistr.

It was one of the things that bothered him.

His father hadn’t given Byleistr an army, he had given him a few good men, ones that Thor had fought with many times. The idea of them under that Jotun’s control was angering Thor and he growled when he lifted the scroll and went through it.

His anger waned immediately when he saw Theoric’s name in the lead, a clear indication of  who was _truly_ in charge no matter what Byleistr thought.

Thor frowned when he saw a name right under Theoric’s and looked around for a quill. Sighing, he walked up the stairs and went into Loki’s study to borrow one of his.

He paused when he saw the bottle of mead that he’d been given, placed on the table, half of it in the bottle while the other half remained still in a beaker, small swirls of magic gently moving inside.

Smirking and shaking his head, Thor grabbed a quill and a bottle of ink before he stepped out and went to the dining table.

He sat down, rubbed the back of his neck as he went through the list, crossing out a few names and adding others.

He scowled when he cut out the name of one of Fandral’s friends and thought for a moment before he placed a name he never thought he would.

Bragi would be able to handle Byleistr, Thor knew. If nothing else, the man was ruthless at intimidation.

He would be cool where others were hot headed and impulsive.

Thor scratched his hair and thought about personally asking his half brother to go.

And though the thought churned his insides

He had to. He would like to state that he hated the man, but he had saved him, so that was out of consideration.

Scoffing, Thor scratched his head again and started to scribble once again, placing Bragi’s name under Theoric’s. He made a few more changes, then stood to ring for an errand boy and ask him to deliver the scroll to his father.

If Odin approved, he would ask Thor to oversee the mission from here, if not – well, then Thor would have to write this all over.

He waited, tapping the palm of his hand with the scroll and smiled at the boy that ran over. Ruffling his hair, Thor told him he needed him to do this for him and if he did, Thor would give him three sweetmeats from the kitchen.

Eyes widening at the bribe, the boy all but tripped in his haste to obey.

Thor laughed and turned to relax a little before Loki returned. Or perhaps he would get dirty again so that he could Loki into another bath…

…and get even dirtier.

Chuckling, Thor walked to the table to pick up Loki’s things and place them back.

He paused frowning, when he saw a copper chalice filled with ale because it hadn’t been there a moment ago.

He put the things down and walked over to examine it. his frown vanished when he saw a small note attached to it.

‘For my never ending headache. Hope this will cure yours’

Thor grinned, laughing softly at Loki’s magic.

The boy had him wrapped around his finger.

Still grinning, he lifted the chalice, carefully pulled off the note and put it in his pocket before downing the drink, closing his eyes at the pleasuring chill that went through him. He almost moaned at the delicious taste and was convinced it was so only because Loki gave it to him.

It finished rather quickly and Thor put it down, wiping the back of his hand over his lips to clean them and touched the note again.

He gasped when he felt Loki’s other present in his pocket, his eyes going wide.

“Norns…”

_He was so stupid!_

Turning, Thor made his way to the door, pulling the locket out and looking at it.

It had Thor’s hammer carved on it; pure gold. The edges were brown and when Loki opened it, there were three prayers inside for him.

Thor wanted to give it to him last night, but he’d gotten – distracted.

He strode to the door, imagining Loki smiling at him, then turning to give Thor the honor of putting it around his long neck. 

Thor expected a nice, energetic thank you from Loki at night, one he looked forward to.

What he didn’t expect was the pain in his heart.

Thor had no time to reach the door, only to touch his chest, right above his heart with a pained gasp. He fell forward, cracking his head against the marble and lay still.

He didn’t move.

***

Loki pulled the hood of his cloak firmly over his head and exited the little hut where he had been for the past hour, watching Sigyn.

He and Idunn had been leaning against, then sitting on a large bench protruding from the wall as the Vanir woman moved about in her apron, crushing herbs and mixing syrups in them.

She spoke little, her face focused as she was determined to do her task so Loki and Idunn whispered amongst themselves and smiling at Sigyn and explaining when she demanded it. halfway through, they decided to annoy her and started whispering randomly, nonsense words to each other while looking at her.

Sigyn threatened to douse them in goat bile so they went silent.

She worked for a good hour, not letting them help because it would bother her more than anything and ultimately, she finished, lifting a medium sized vial from her cabinet and walking towards her pot.

Unable to see her before, Loki and Idunn walked forward and looked into the pot. A golden liquid brewed, gently stirring even when no one was touching it.

Idunn had blinked and made to touch it but Sigyn stopped her.

“You’ll burn your finger” she explained kindly “it’s rather hot”

Idunn made a face and went to explore, never touching anything, though the desire to do so was plain in her eyes.

Loki watched her skip about, watched her move about and eventually skip out of the small chambers to go to pick a few flowers and started braiding them into her hair. 

Loki smiled when a caterpillar walked over her fingers and she started to talk to it.

“Your Majesty”

Loki turned to see Sigyn holding out a vial to him, wrapped in cloth to keep it from burning her fingers.

Face heating up but unwilling to _not_ accept it, especially since he asked for it, Loki nodded, extending a hand to take it from her.

He pushed it into his pocket, face flushed and he looked away.

“Prince?”

He looked back to Sigyn and she gave him a kind smile “If I may be so bold…”

She walked over and placed a hand on his shoulder “You _do_ have a say in such matters. I would go so far and say that it is no one’s decision but yours.”

Loki blinked and gave her a soft smile, nodding but not speaking. Truth be told, he wasn’t too sure about his bold move.

He didn’t know how Thor would react.

Loki didn’t think he was doing the right thing even if Thor said he had no rush to have children, maybe he should have discussed it first?

No, Thor _had_ told him it was alright to wait, so …

What was the harm in getting a little – reassurance – and use this prevention? 

Like Sigyn said, it was _his_ decision, _his_ choice whether he wanted to have children or not. And his brother’s comment about how he was nothing more than a ‘broodmare’ was just the final shove in this direction.

He cleared his throat and frowned, keeping all thoughts of his brother and their plan out of his mind. He had enough things to make him feel guilty as it was. 

Loki sighed now, walking back with Idunn after thanking Sigyn over and over, though his voice remained soft and hushed, and told her he would do her any favors she asked for in return for this one. And the woman, Norns bless her, had shaken her head, grasped his hand in hers and told her it was her pleasure and no need stood for him to repay her.

Loki realized he had made another friend and went out smiling.

He pulled his hood over his head, though, not wanting to be seen this far from the palace. It wasn’t an issue, but for some reason, he feared it would become one should his actions become public. He stepped out and then walked beside Idunn as she led them back.

“So” she piped up “What are you thinking?” 

Loki frowned a moment and looked at her, concealing his thoughts perfectly “ A person”

She blinked in confusion before she smiled “Living?”

“Yes”

“Loki!”

Both of them started and Loki looked up nervously, a hand protecting his pocket.

Fandral ran forward, huffing and looking extremely worried. He stopped before them. His eyes were glazed and his face slackened in shock.

He looked at Loki and hesitated.

Loki paled even before the man opened his mouth, feeling dread lock its fangs into him and hold on. 

***

Crashing through the doors, pushing them aside and letting them bang aback against the walls with no care, Loki ran forward, his cape billowing behind him, worry all over his face.

He was pale and his wide eyes were filled with tears as he ran through the halls. His footsteps were fast and he didn’t care that he knocked down an expensive vase as he sprinted to the healers wing, his heart jammed in his throat.

Loki banged through the doors, startling everyone inside.

Frigga was sitting on an empty bed and for a moment, Loki feared the worst, he feared himself alone and abandoned and the word ‘widower’ tore into his skin so badly he cried out.

Frigga stood, running over.

“Oh no, dear!” she embraced him, pulling him close “he’s fine, my darling, he’s just changing into his clothes”

Loki didn’t realize tears were falling from his eyes and he gave a dry sob of relief, holding tightly to Frigga and burying his face in her hair.

She chuckled a little “Gave us a fright, too. Stupid boy.”

Loki closed his eyes and decided the situations wasn’t as dire as he had first thought.

When his legs stopped shaking and his heart was at a normal pace, Loki pulled back. He had to swallow twice before he spoke, though.

“What…what happened?” he asked thickly.

Frigga sighed “He fell, hit his head. We don’t know what happened, to be honest, he’s the only one who could tell us. An errand boy found him collapsed and we feared the worst. But apart from a cut to his head, there doesn’t seem much wrong with him”

“Much?” Loki asked, feeling his heart race again “Meaning something _is_ wrong?”

Frigga sighed, hesitating “He hit his head and seems a little – disoriented. It’s nothing to worry about, though, I’m sure it will pass, but …”

Loki felt chills go through him and grabbed Frigga’s arms gently “What…?”

Frigga pulled her lips inwards and her façade started to crack. Loki knew she was hiding something from him and when she confirmed it, he froze.

“He seems…” she said “not to remember you”

Loki stared at her, feeling his insides grow cold “W- What?”

“I’m sorry, we are trying everything to get him to remember, but he …” Frigga cupped his face gently and firmly “do _not_ panic. We will fix this.”

“What do you mean he doesn’t remember who I am?” Loki asked almost loudly.

Frigga sighed “He doesn’t have any recollection of you, any memories of you and …”

“There’s more?” Loki gasped

“Hush,” Frigga brushed his hair back “do not worry. We will fix this. There are many healing spells that can help him and _I_ will perform them. But yes, he recalls nothing of your time together and though it pains me to say this…”

Loki braced himself, fearing his heart would stop right about now.

“He’s turned back into an arrogant ass”

Loki gave a breathy, relieved laugh and put a hand over his mouth, raising his head to the ceiling to try and hide the sheen of tears over his eyes and bit his lips.

“Oh, darling” Frigga embraced him again “You must have been scared out of your mind. I should flog Fandral for being so insensitive”

Loki lowered his head to her shoulder a moment before he collected himself and straightened.

“So what is he _really_ doing?” he asked

Frigga smirked “Getting a lecture from Odin”

“About what?” Loki asked

“You’ll see”

With a smile, she grabbed his hand and led him forward, towards a door at the end. She raised a hand to knock and entered, bringing Loki with her.

Thor sat on a bed, grumbling as Odin had his hands on his head and his eye closed. He was concentrating so Loki leaned over to Frigga to whisper in her ear.

“I thought you were going to fix this”

“I will” Frigga chuckled “When Odin fails and when my accomplishment will be twice as sweet, I will”

Loki smiled and Frigga’s hand grasped his, giving him a loving squeeze.

Odin went on a few moments longer and Loki looked at Thor, searching for signs of damage or a sign that Thor was manhandled.

Thankfully, there were none and he seemed to relax, letting Frigga give his hand another squeeze before she let go and walked over to her husband.

Odin opened his eye at the first touch and his face went into a smile that only Frigga could gain from him.

Loki felt his lips curve into a smile when he saw the happy couple, together for centuries and still so in love.

He blinked when he realized he was thinking like a fourteen year old love sick maiden – one that read far too many romantic novels.

Shaking his head, he crossed his arms over his chest and looked at his husband.

There had come a time, somewhere in their marriage that Loki had become used to seeing warm blue eyes. The watched him carefully, closely, as though taking in everything he did and everything he said. 

Thor memorized him, he took in Loki’s movements, the tilt of his head when he spoke of something he liked, the smile on his face when he opened a new book or practiced a spell that ended up working better than before. The slight curl of displeasure when he couldn’t move Mjolnir, the laugh when Thor had placed Mjolnir on the back of his tunic and refused to take it away, the full throated, deep laughter when Loki had made Thor think Mjolnir had been stolen after he created an illusion. Thor loved watching him, occasionally doing nothing else as Loki went on doing what he liked.

His eyes were warm and inviting, loving and protective. 

They were beautiful.

So when Loki looked to Thor’s face and saw the lack of those eyes, felt the cold instead of warmth…  
  
His heart stopped.

***

Thor didn’t remember him.

And as much as that hurt, the fact that he now stood in a corner, listening to Thor talk to his friends and joke with them hurt him more.

He even saw Balder ignoring him and though it was a relief, it also stung – because he was alone again.

Always the stranger.

He sighed and crossed his arms over his chest, listening to Fandral describe something to Thor and smirking a little when Sif shoved him, making him stumble and almost fall over. He saw her give Volstagg a glare and frowned in confusion.

It made sense a few moments later when Volstagg looked at Loki, standing against a wall and looking at them.

“Prince!” Volstagg grinned “Come here, there is a story I wish to retell and I wish you would hear it”

Loki blinked when he got all unwanted attention, refusing to look at Thor’s cold blue eyes and nodded, slowly walking over and sitting next to Idunn.

He relaxed when she looped her arm through his to anchor him and made him sit. Then she looked at Volstagg expectantly, ignoring the way Thor looked at them both, and blinking innocently.

“Alright” Volstagg began, sitting as though he was retelling a tale to end all tales “One night…”

“So you’re the Jotun bride?”

A stunned silence fell over the lot when Thor spoke, startling them all and making them stare.

Loki swallowed, feeling a chill go up his spine at Thor’s cold, slightly terse voice. He turned his head to look at him and found a vicious smirk gracing the royal lips.

“A little small, aren’t you?”

Balder gaped “Thor”

“Aye?” Thor turned to him “What, brother, I didn’t say anything that isn’t true. When Mother told me I’d wed a Jotun, I was expecting at least a full grown one”

Balder’s lips tightened in anger and he stood.

Before anyone could say anything, he grabbed Thor’s wrist and stood him up, dragging him out of the room.

Loki watched with his mouth hanging open.

“Idunn” Balder said as he took Thor outside “Could you walk with Loki to his chambers, please?”

Idunn blinked “But, I …”

“Now” Balder said, and vanished, taking his brother out.

“I go myself” Loki stood and Idunn stood with him “You should stay”

“No, wait!” Idunn followed him as he left, not giving up when he didn’t stop “Loki, stop!”

She grabbed his arm and made him turn, uncaring that Thor and Balder were on the other side of the hall, whispering rapidly and could probably hear them.

“He is _not_ himself” Idunn scolded him “So do not make yourself so sensitive. You know what happened, you know what he is like and who he loves. Do not let this minor setback destroy all that you two have gained. You love him and he loves you – this is just a small hurdle you need to get over and become the perfect couple everyone knows you are! So stop cringing from him and help him remember who he is or so help me, I will stop bringing you my apple juice!”

Loki blinked.

“He got hurt, Loki” Idunn frowned “ _He_ got hurt, not you. So please, just stop taking what he says so seriously and be a man!”

Loki winced when she slapped his arm.

“He’s not himself” Idunn repeated “but if you help him, he will be”

Loki lowered his eyes, knowing she was right.

“Besides” Idunn sighed “Balder is already giving him hell”

Stopping himself from flinching at Balder’s name, he saw his brother in law gesture to Thor and speak in harsh tones while Thor looked chastised, his arms crossed over his chest and his gaze fixed on the floor, an angry flush to his cheeks.

He almost winced when Balder hit Thor on the head, then went on, pointing to the door Loki and Idunn had just came out from.

“Makes you wonder why he wasn’t given a chance”

Loki furrowed his brow in confusion “What?”

“Balder loves children” Idunn told him almost sadly “the fates were cruel to him”

Loki licked his lips before speaking “I heard Thor tell me that Bragi…”

“Bragi is not to blame” Idunn said, looking at him “prejudice goes a long way here, even with the royal princes. Have you not wondered why Odin said nothing to him? is it possible that he not hurt those that harmed his family, Loki?”

Loki bit his lip and shook his head as he Idunn basically listed whatever had been going through his own mind when Thor told him the whole incident.

“I thought as much” he muttered

Idunn shook her head “Then you are the only one that agrees with me. Everyone else condemns him brutally”

Loki shook his head at how narrow-minded and stupid the Aesir were.

“Perhaps I understand it more than others because I find him in a similar situation to mine” Loki said “a kindred spirit”

Idunn gave his a strange glance and turned around.

“Come along,” she hooked her arm into his “let’s play your game until we are thrown out”

Loki chuckled and let her lead him away, thinking of people and animals that Idunn would guess easily.

In the end, she grinned when she discovered he was thinking of her and skipped the rest of the way back, unaware of the guilt Loki was suffering from.

***

As it turned out, their game was interrupted far sooner than wither of them really expected it to.

Loki sat on a long couch, peacefully lounging against the arm, his feet gracefully crossed at the ankles on the floor and Idunn sat opposite, cross-legged and all but lying against the back of the couch.

She had given him an item to guess and Loki was on his final question. It was either a guess or an inquiry and Loki really didn’t want to lose.

He thought about it carefully.

“Something that can fit in the palm of my hand, precious, but mainly because of emotional purposes, given to me by someone I love…”

Hela meowed.

“Not you, Hela” Loki told her, then smirked when she jumped into his lap.

He thought of the other questions asked and answered, then looked back at Idunn.

He opened his mouth to ask something and realized he had no more questions.

They had been at this for over an hour, went through it as they had dinner together, and now sat at the couch once again and Loki was _still_ unable to guess.

He sighed “Fine, I yield. You have your victory”

Idunn shrieked in laughter and leapt at him, putting her arms around his neck.

“I knew I would win!” she laughed, then smiled and kissed him.

Loki’s eyes went wide a moment, then she pulled back, winking at him.

“Don’t tell”

He flushed deeply and sat up, hoping to catch her next attack if it came.

“Well” he asked, looking at her “What was the answer?”

Idunn beamed and raised a hand, pointing to her throat.

Loki frowned a moment before it dawned and his hand went to the pendant at his neck, hidden beneath his clothes.

He blinked softly, reminded of his father “Oh”

Idunn’s smile dimmed “What?”

Loki looked at her sadly before giving her a small smirk “My … this was my Father’s. When we left the castle, we were denied the chance of taking any of our belongings or things we valued with us.”  
Idunn watched as he scoffed.

“My brother…” he sighed “he gave up his chance at a kingdom to save me. I know that is so much, and I am grateful, but …”

“But…?” Idunn prompted gently

“He never thinks of what I gave up” Loki said “my books, my home – I had nothing but scraps. I know what staying there meant, what _he_ would have…”

He stopped suddenly, realizing what he was talking about. And for some odd reason, he wasn’t as horrified as he should be.

“Loki”

He turned and Idunn rested a hand over his.

“If it’s hard for you, or even if you hesitate talking about it, don’t” she smiled “I’ll be here. Take your time, make up your mind to speak, then I’ll listen to you till the end”

He blushed a little “I’ve … I’ve never had friends before and … now I feel apprehensive as naming us so”

Idunn frowned “Loki, we’re not friends”

Loki felt his gut twist

Idunn smiled and came over to kiss his cheek “We’re best friends. Brother and sister”

Loki blinked, turned even brighter and looked away, making his ears turn red when Idunn snickered at him.

“You’re adorable” she announced and pinched his cheek, laughing as he growled and batted his hand away.

“And as your best friend, may I ask you something?” she sat back, bouncing a little.

Loki raised a brow “Maybe?”

Idunn chuckled and leaned closer “Were you staring at Bragi, too?”

Loki stilled and pulled his lips inwards to keep from laughing, though his cheeks burned “I…”

“Don’t lie” Idunn warned, eyes wide and laughing.

“May have been”

Idunn threw back her head and laughed, clapping his shoulder “I knew it!”

Loki groaned and hid his face in his hands “You’re embarrassing me”

“No!” she said, shaking his shoulder “It’s natural! That man was…”

“Don’t say it!” Loki stared at her, red in the face “I’m already ashamed”

“A god!” Idunn announced dramatically.

Loki sighed and rubbed his eyes “What went wrong with you?”

She shrugged “A lot of things. Sometimes I blame the sun”

Loki blinked and realized he would have to get used to this “I see”

Idunn laughed “You know…”

The doors opened with a bang and a flourish and Thor walked in.

“Greetings!” he announced with much forced enthusiasm “I return, oh loyal…”

He stopped and broke off when he saw Idunn sitting with Loki and his face morphed into a genuine grin.

“Lady Idunn!” he sang

“Thor!” Idunn threw her hands in the air, waiting for him.

Thor walked in, arms extended to embrace her and stopped when she stood and brushed herself down.

“Goodnight, my lord!” she said, skipping over “I shall now retire”

“You mean go to my brother” Thor said dryly.

“Oh please!” she skipped past, slapped Thor’s rear playfully, then screamed in laughter, running at full speed towards the door when Thor chased her.

“Good night Loki!” she screamed back as she opened the door and left “I wish you luck!”

The doors banged shut and Thor slowed, chuckling before he waved a hand and turned back.

Instantly, his guard was on.

Even after what Balder said, what he told him, he still felt the need to be alert around Loki, though he thought him rather pathetic.

He was a Jotun, after all, whether a half breed or full didn’t change anything.

He walked back and saw Loki watching him. He gave him a nod.

“Loki”

Loki stood in respect and held his hands before him; probably a nervous gesture.

What Thor wanted to do was go up to his bed chamber – which he still seemed to recall – and take a bath.

But Balder had told him to stay with Loki and let him help in answering his questions that would break the strange barrier he had against remembering Loki. He seemed to remember everything else, every incident, even his marriage he was aware of, but it was just Loki that seemed to escape his memory.

It was odd – very odd.

Just like the forced smile he pasted on his face as he made himself walk to his husband.

Thor frowned when something stirred within him, something unpleasant and it took him a moment to recognize it as prejudice, as revulsion, as revulsion.

Loki was a frost giant and Thor knew what they were capable of, who they had killed – and he’d been forced to marry one.

Thor sighed and walked over, mentioning Loki to sit and smirked in relief when he sat as far away from him as was possible on the same couch.

“So” Thor said, placing a hand behind his head and an elbow on the couch’s arm “How are you?”

“I’m fine” Loki said, looking at his hands “Are you well?”

Thor sighed “To be honest, I would be better if you _looked_ at me. Am I so unappealing?”

Loki blushed and Thor felt vicious delight in it. Then he looked at him and Thor smiled.

“That’s better” Thor said “You should look at me when you talk”

Loki realized he’d found his arrogance.

He didn’t say anything, so Thor cleared his throat again “Let us start from the basics. How old are you?”

“Twenty two”

Thor blinked “Truly? My parents got me a child Jotun?”

Loki’s lips tightened and Thor chuckled 

“Come now,” he said “it was a joke”

“I’m not a child” Loki said firmly

“Really?” Thor raised an eye brow at the defiance “Do you know how to fight? How many men have you killed?”

“Killing doesn’t make a man, Thor” Loki told him, looking at his face.

Thor lips twitched as this Loki became more interesting “Really, then what does? Reading?”

Loki flushed angrily and started thinking about what Idunn had said.

Thor wasn’t himself…

Don’t take anything to heart.

“No, being responsible and…”

Thor scoffed and waved a hand “Wrong. That makes a dull boor. There is only one thing that makes a man, Loki, and looking at you…”

Loki felt chills run trough him as Thor moved his gaze from his feet, over his long legs, his hips, torso and finally his face.

Thor smirked at Loki’s unease “I do not think you have accomplished it yet”

Loki’s mouth pressed into a thin line in his anger “What are you talking about?”

Thor raised his brows “Why, I talk of the only thing that confirms a man’s masculinity.”

Loki forced himself to sit still as Thor leaned over.

“Sex”

Loki shuddered and looked at Thor’s eyes, feeling his heart race within his chest.

He leaned backwards as Thor slowly _stalked_ him. He swallowed loudly when he felt the arm of the couch nudge him and made to get off.

He gasped when Thor’s arm shot out and rested on the arm beside Loki’s head, trapping him.

He looked up into Thor’s eyes, feeling his breath quicken. Thor slowly loomed over him and looked down at his trapped prey.

Loki realized he was shaking badly.

The Thor he knew, the one he’d fallen for, was not in those blue eyes. This was the same man who had tried to force himself on him back at the camp, the same one that had flogged him and the one who had vowed to hurt him.

Thor tilted his head aside and his next words chilled Loki to his soul.

“You’re beautiful, Loki”

Loki gasped because there was a horrible difference between this time and last time Thor had spoken them.

This time, it was lust and nothing else and Loki couldn’t suppress the whimper that escaped his lips when Thor lowered his head.


	18. Betrayed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2013/240/d/2/death_of_byliestr_by_satanssin-d6k2yqr.png
> 
> Angrboda-the-witch.tumblr made this

A memory went through Thor, one far off into the distance and faded over with fog he couldn’t decipher.

It was Jane, waving at him as he left her for the last time. She had a piece of paper in her hand, a crudely drawn picture of the realms that he’d given her and her lips were curved into a soft smile, as she watched the greatest thing that had ever happen to her, vanish in a cloud of magic and power.

He had thought he would return to her after spending some time with his family.

Fate had known better.

Had he known it was the last time he would see her, had he known her tragic fate, he might have stayed, he might have done _anything_ he could to keep her safe, including give him own life.

But no, he’d left her. He’d left her for those Jotuns to kill, to throw her fragile body out of her window and let the shard of glass impale her. They had probably watched as she bled to death, because it amused them.

Then they had run when they had been discovered, a flurry of action and dust. The agents that discovered Jane had tried to do everything to save her, but the foot long shard had pierced too much and Coulson, one of Thor’s allies, had been sent to the Bifrost to deliver the tragic news.

Thor had died that day; all within him had been taken and left behind a shell of pain and trauma.

Loss was all he felt, and rage.

He didn’t know who killed her but he would find out.

He was stunned that he hadn’t done it sooner and growled out loud.

Beneath him, Loki gasped when he realized Thor was about to kiss him and he whimpered, turning his head away.

They were pressed so close Thor could feel Loki’s heart beat race against his chest and he could feel him shiver.

He sighed.

Loki _was_ beautiful and Thor realized he was truly attracted to him, but at the moment, he wouldn’t have him.

Even though Loki was his to do with as he pleased, the memory had soured the pleasure he’d just felt.

He levered himself to hover over Loki, looking down at him, taking in everything about him.

He was shivering and trying his best not to. His hands were clenched, tight and probably in a war with Loki’s stubborn will to not push Thor away.

His eyes were closed and his lips quivered.

Thor’s mouth curled at how sad his husband was and he pulled back.

Loki gasped when he felt Thor leave him and sat up, holding his collar tightly with one hand and fisting the other in his trousers as he stared at Thor in confusion.

Perhaps he expected a ravishing?

Thor scoffed and turned away, muttering something because his mood was so dark.

Loki, pale and trembling, swallowed “W- what?”

“I said I’m despicable” Thor turned to him and spoke frankly “She’s dead and I’m here trying to force myself on a Jotun that doesn’t even want it, all barely a year after her”

Loki blinked in confusion “You’re … not making any sense”

Thor grunted and stood, ignoring the way Loki shrank away from him, and went up the stairs.

“I’m taking a bath then falling asleep” Thor called as he walked over to the chambers “pray my memory returns and I turn back into the lovesick yearling you had wrapped around your finger, Giant”

Loki blinked at the pain that went through him at the words and lowered his gaze. He placed a hand over his mouth, realizing he felt the phantom kiss Thor never bestowed upon him. 

He realized he’d wanted it.

He shook his head, shame coloring his cheeks brightly, and looked up when a movement purred in the corner. He smiled softly and clicked his tongue at Hela, snapping his fingers to make her approach.

She meowed and trotted over, patting Loki’s boot as a sign for him to lift her up.

When he obliged, she began to purr loudly and curled into his lap, letting him pet her as she slowly kneaded his thigh in affection.

Loki exhaled slowly, his gaze going to where his husband had walked off to.

He tried to listen to what Idunn had said and not let Thor’s crass manner disturb him, but he realized it was too late.

He’d already been plenty disturbed.

***

Byleistr smiled at Thor, noticing how annoyed the man was and how clearly he wanted to get this over with.

With the past few days, the true matter had been pushed into the background and that was mainly because Farbauti had suddenly vanished.

His entire Jotun army had stopped showing up in their usual meeting places and stopped collecting followers to take to war.

It was all a little disconcerting to Thor and frankly, Byleistr couldn’t be happier.

The longer his dam remained out of sight, the more agitated the Aesir got and that meant he could basically have the original army he’d wanted and go gain the throne he wanted to have for himself.

As he sat there, it occurred to him that Thor was so focused on his task because he didn’t remember Loki.

And it only occurred to him _then_ that Loki had been a distraction for the Crown Prince because Thor was paying full attention to whatever Byleistr said and, though his displeasure at talking directly to a Jotun was plain, he agreed with most of what Byleistr was saying.

The only downside was the fact that Odin seemed to notice the bloodlust in Thor’s veins and tried to dissuade his son from agreeing with Byleistr.

And it was sheer luck that Thor waved his worries aside and went back to looking at the scroll, his eyes shining at the prospect of a war with the Jotuns.

“This area” Thor pointed to the mountains Byleistr had gestured to a few moments ago “if we appear here, we would bound to get noticed. Your dam cannot ignore such a blatant entrance, could he?”

Byleistr bit back on his grin “No, he will not”

“Instead of surprising him that way” Thor said “we make him come to us”

Byleistr stopped his laugh and Odin spoke.

“We?” the king asked “I thought Theoric and Bragi were leading this”

“Nay, I included myself” Thor said simply, spreading his hands on the map and looking down at it “I discover I have a thirst for battle upon me”

Odin furrowed his brow, though it was barely noticeable.

“What about Loki?”

“What about him?” Thor asked distractedly, marking a few places on the map.

“You would leave him here, alone, while you go on your adventure?” Odin asked casually keeping an eye on Byleistr’s sneer.

“He can come along if he wants, I have no objections” Thor smiled and crossed a place, making a note to set a small army of men here “Can he fight?”

“Nay” Byleistr answered him “but he killed a bilgesnipe all by himself”

Thor gave him a short glance and went back to his work “Then he shall be invited along”

“You can’t mean that” Odin said, “it’s a war”

“Then he shall not be invited”

Odin’s mouth tightened and he wanted to smack Thor in the head with his staff but he recalled what had happened to him and forced himself to calm.

Byleistr was not the person Odin wanted to argue in front of.

He was already weary of the Jotun.

Odin knew Thor hadn’t just collapsed; he’d been placed under a spell.

And though Odin knew this, he wasn’t acting on it until he had all the information. He’d placed protective charms around Thor and Loki’s chambers, and placed spells that would alert him in case someone tried to break past them.

He had a lead, a hunch about who was behind this. He’d sent Balder to retrieve that person and was expecting his son back within the hour.

If it turned out he was right, then he would give the proper punishment and be done with it. if he was wrong; that meant there were greater forces at play here.

Either way, he didn’t say anything to anyone other than Balder because the man would get things done exactly as Odin wanted.

Balder was angry too, after all.

A thump got his wavering attention and Odin looked up to see that Thor had jammed a dagger into the map; a habit he adopted of telling himself that his plans in theory were over and now needed to be implemented.

“We leave at dawn”

Odin’s eye widened “Dawn?”

Thor looked at him, a hint of challenge in his eyes “You handed this project to me, Father, you chose to oversee it. I hope you are not going back on your word, now”

Thor was angry; without Loki, he’d been reminded of what he had lost.

Without his love for Loki, he only had revenge and coldness in him and Odin felt anger rise against the person responsible for putting Thor under such an affective spell.

Affective and cold, Thor was ruthless now.

A fighter, not a lover.

Odin sighed “Byleistr, I request some privacy with my son”

Byleistr smiled and stood “As you wish”

Odin hated his smile, and by the way Thor glared at the retreating Jotun, so did he, it never boded well and Odin exhaled in disgust when the man left.

Thor turned to him “You disapprove of my plans”

It was a statement and Odin looked him right in the eye.

“Not your battle plans, no” Odin said, “you are right and I trust you with them. But your plans in another area”

“If you are talking about my husband, Father, I think it would be wise to leave that matter be” Thor looked at the curling edge of the map and flicked it “I do not remember him and I fear I cannot do him justice until I do. And as such a time comes back, I think it best that I create a distance between us”

“This ‘distance’ could prove lethal”

“Or it could be just what we need” Thor smiled at him in mild warning.

Thor didn’t like to be pushed.

“You gave my life away, Father” he said “to a Jotun. I may have forgotten who he is and how I felt, but I didn’t forget that. I didn’t forget how I pleaded for you not to make me marry him and you did. It was only luck that favored you and made us fall for each other, I assume, but  that doesn’t change the facts. I was reminded of them during this incident and I am a little glad I was.”

Thor pulled out the dagger and looked at it “As a warrior, I cannot afford weakness”

“And as a husband?” Odin asked, firmly keeping his anger in check “what of your persona as a husband?”

Thor looked at him right in the eye “As a husband, I need to be twice as vigilant”

Odin’s lips tensed into a line and he was on the verge of telling Thor he had been cursed.

But no good would come of it, his boy was already angry enough. Also, there was the slightest chance that word would spread and Loki would take the blame.

A sorcerer brought into Asgard was something many still frowned upon. A Jotun sorcerer, wed to the prince, would be damned for eternity.

So Odin let Thor go, let him out to vent his anger and went to call upon a servant, asking for his eldest to be brought in.

He would let Thor go, but not without Bragi.

The man may have his difference with Thor but that didn’t change the fact that he could control what Thor could not.

***

By dawn, Loki had given up falling asleep.

Thor had taken the couch last night and refused to sleep this night, moving about as he prepared himself for battle. Watching from the end of the hall, standing next to Frigga and Odin, Loki felt his heart clench when he saw his husband place Mjolnir at his hip. Bragi was at the corner, talking to Fandral in good natured tones while the other man helped him carry his weapons.

An army of a thousand men, first under Theoric’s control were now Thor’s, waited outside the halls.

A thousand Aesir to fight Farbauti and Loki could still feel his heart hammer within his chest.

How rapidly their lives changed from marriage to war and how it happened, Loki wouldn’t know. All he knew of was the pain in his heart that got harsher and harsher the longer he watched Thor.

His husband hadn’t said ten words to him since last night, when he came to announce that he was going to Jotunhiem to fight against his dam.

Loki had panicked, asked him a hundred questions, asked him _how_ he was suddenly leaving him alone here and how Loki was supposed to live without him.

Thor had told him to dampen down on his dramatic reaction and gone to bathe.

Loki had felt tears cloud his vision before he wiped them away angrily and run to his study to create an enchantment for his husband.

When he came out, Thor was moving about and collecting his needed weapons and Loki was denied the chance to give it to him because he hesitated in the face of Thor’s coldness.

Now, he held the strings, carefully weaved by Loki’s fingers and drenched in magic and prayers, to his chest, watching him with large eyes.

Frigga watched him and rested a hand on his shoulder, making him turn to her.

“Go” she said softly “everyone needs a blessing”

It was as though she had taken his hesitation away from him and Loki nodded, took a deep breath and walked down, forcing himself to remain calm as he approached his husband.

Thor, who had bent down to tie a large bag, looked up and frowned at him in confusion. He straightened to ask him something, then froze when Loki walked up and placed two fingers on his lips.

He didn’t lift his green eyes and Thor felt something stir in him at the inability to see them.

Loki lowered his hand and pulled something from the other, stretching it as Thor watched.

Slowly, blushing as he did so, Loki lifted the necklace he’d made and placed it around Thor’s neck. He murmured a few words, making his fingertips glow a soft green, and touched the strings to turn them into gold, infusing them further and trapping their protecting magic within.

Then, cheeks heating up, he raised his head and looked into Thor’s eyes.

Thor blinked when he saw tears in them and frowned “What’s wrong?”

Loki swallowed and raised a hand, lowering it in hesitation.

Of his own volition, Thor moved.

He lowered his head for Loki and felt his heart thud faster when Loki’s hand brushed through his hair and brought him in to kiss his forehead.

“Please” Loki whispered against his skin, his eyes closed “Please, be careful, my love”

Thor felt his stomach clench as he straightened and looked at the _boy_ that stood before him.

Slowly, he reached out to grab Loki’s hand and kissed his knuckles.

He gazed into his eyes and spoke words he didn’t think himself capable of.

“I’m sorry I am not the man you want, Loki” he whispered against his skin “I only hope you will forgive me”

Loki gently extracted his hand and stroked Thor’s cheek “Come back to me and I might”

Unwillingly, Thor felt his lips quirk and he bowed a little to Loki before he stepped back.

Loki held his hands clasped to his chest as he watched them go, as he watched his _love_ go.

His brother, he had no words for. Byleistr hadn’t looked at Loki and Loki hadn’t looked at him. His green eyes were focused on Thor as he left, at Thor’s retreating back, at Thor’s hands and the ring Loki placed on his finger.

Loki didn’t even feel it when Idunn came up behind him and placed her hand on his shoulders and he didn’t feel it when she embraced him, letting him take her comfort without a word as the Aesir army went to fight against the monster that hounded his dreams and turned them into nightmares all his adolescent life.

*** 

Loki had expected to sleep alone that night.

He should have known better.

Right when he was about to have dinner, Loki heard a huge knock on his door; someone was banging their fist against it and it was only when he heard the loud, obnoxious call that Loki relaxed.

“Loki!” Idunn screeched from the other side “Open the door, hurry up!”

Giving a dramatic sigh, Loki walked over and opened the door, his eyes going wide when he saw Idunn, Fandral, Balder, Theoric, Sif and Sigyn all standing at his threshold.

“What…?” he asked, blinking.

“Move” Idunn nudged him aside and walked in, dragging something on the floor behind her with a loud hissing noise.

It made Hela spit and arch in anger, her fur standing up on end.

“A gentleman would help, Loki” Idunn said, moving the large sleeping mat in the middle of the room.

Loki, who closed his mouth with a click to stop himself from gaping, blinked again as he was made to step back to allow everyone else to walk in.

“What’s going on…?” he managed when everyone brought over sleeping mats and started setting them up around his chambers.

“Well” Idunn said, placing hers by the couch and glaring at the furniture “we were bored and wanted to annoy you. Can I move this couch?”

“No,” Theoric said, pushing his sleeves up “you cannot, I can”

He pressed his hands in the middle of the couch and started pushing it back, dragging it across the room to place it up against the wall, ignoring Loki’s utter confusion as he walked in, staring at all of them with his mouth hanging open.

His green gaze went from Fandral, who was shoving Balder to have the place beside the fire, to Theoric as he came back and demanded Sigyn sleep next to him, then Idunn when she moved her mat to where the couch had been and Sigyn as she settled up beside Idunn and waved Sif over.

It occurred to him then and Loki felt his heart break out of sheer happiness when he realized it.

They had all come here so he wouldn’t have to sleep alone.

He bit his lip and placed a hand over his mouth as a surge of emotions went through him. He couldn’t believe this. He couldn’t believe he knew people that could do this for him.

For _him_!

Balder saw him and it looked like he wanted to approach, but he stopped himself and went back to fixing his mat.

Idunn, however, skipped over to Loki and grabbed his shoulders to look into his eyes.

“I know this is your room” she said “but you can’t sleep in the bed. You need to sleep down here with us

”What?” Loki whispered, blinking his wet, beautiful eyes.

Idunn rolled her eyes “Come on, Loki, do not make me explain the rules to you”

“Rules of what?” Loki asked her

“A ‘Sleep Over’” Fandral walked over to them and put an arm around Loki’s shoulders “Your good husband discovered it when he went to Midgard once”

“Aye” Sif added, looking up at Loki “Apparently good friends sleep in mats on the floors of those they consider their allies.”

“By sleep, she means talk all night and laugh” Sigyn said, fixing her mat and sitting on it, putting her arms around raised knees.

“And play games” Theoric said, sitting by Balder “Apparently, there is a game called Truth or Dare”

“Aye. We will play that” Idunn said, skipping over to her spot to sit cross legged on her mat “It requires a bottle and one has to pick either a truth to tell…”

“Or a dare” Fandral finished, leading Loki over to the floor covered with mats and letting him sit on his while he sat on the polished marble “I look forward to that”

Loki, who was still trying to digest everything from their entrance to their explaining just gave up and let them have their way.

“Alright” he spread his hands and exhaled firmly “but no drinking. I don’t want all of you being sick on my floor”

There were groans from the men and agreement from the women.

“We can have juice if you so wish” Loki said clearly “but no mead or ale. Understood?”

There were loud groans.

“What?” Loki asked pointedly.

“Yes, Loki” the man chorused.

“Excellent” he said, “now, let me get my mat”

Raising a hand, Loki snapped his fingers and a few moments later, the double mattress to his bed floated over the banister and down towards them.

“What?!” Idunn squawked “Why do you get…?”

“His chambers” Balder said simply.

Loki felt a smile form on his lips and Balder caught his eye.

Then passed a moment between them that they could either ruin or release; they could either hold on to the unpleasantness between them or forget it for the moment.

As one, they nodded, choosing the latter and their smiles became genuine.

***

And Loki forgot.

He forgot everything that bothered him and _laughed_ with Thor’s friends.

They had distracted him to such a degree that if Loki hadn’t seen Hela every now and then, he would have forgotten Thor even existed.

Right now, an hour past midnight, Fandral was in the middle of doing an impression that they would have to guess.

He set his feet apart, put a scowl on his handsome face and bent his back to create the illusion of a large belly.

“Cheat!” he hollered.

They all laughed and Balder pointed to him.

“The hag from the market!” Balder yelled

“Yes!” Fandral jumped and came over to slap the hand Balder held high in the air.

“Some time back” Theoric touched Loki’s shoulder and explained to him “the brothers had a race and though he won, Balder had trouble with a woman whose cart he had over turned”

“Aye” Balder twisted his torso to look behind him where Loki lay sprawled on his mattress “and she had not a scratch on her damned cart”

“She called him a cheat” Idunn announced from where she sat amongst the pillows Loki had called for so they could use on their mats “Apparently he showed wit and got himself out of it”

“I have wit” Balder told her in mock affront “How dare you!”

Idunn leapt to her feet and pointed to him dramatically “You have no such thing! A barbarian, you are, a barbarian!”

Balder growled and attacked her like a true savage, hunched over and grunting.

A small chase started, ending when Idunn grabbed one of Thor’s swords and ran after Balder, chasing him till he submitted.

Everyone was on the floor, laughing and gasping for air when she started to beat him with the flat of the blade and demanded he tell her the truth of the fates design for her.

Even Loki felt tears in his eyes at the silly display.

They settled after a moment smiling and recalling the incident every now and then.

Someone’s stomach rumbled.

“We should raid the kitchens” Fandral announced

“Aye” Sif said “I know they had sweet dumplings tonight. I have a hankering to taste them again”

“Then it’s decided” Sigyn stood and brushed her dress down “come along, and you know the rules”

“Aye” Thoeric followed her to a stand and looked at Loki “We shouldn’t be discovered”

Loki blinked and smiled, standing as well “Then let me create an illusion around us”

This caused a renewed interest in everyone.

“You can make us invisible?” Sif asked, eyes wide.

Loki nodded, still a little wary of her, “Not really, but I can make it look like you are not there, veil us, if that helps.”

And excited hum rose.

“Demonstrate” Idunn said

Loki bowed his head to her and raised a hand over his head, dramatically waving it from his head to knee.

He vanished from sight.

There was a collective gasp of awe as they all started to search for him.

“We can hear you, can’t we?” Theoric asked, eyes roving the area.

“Of course” Loki’s voice came from behind Idunn, making her yelp “but only if I speak”

“Then forget raiding the kitchens, I’d rather play _this_ game” Fandral said.

“Yes!” Sif said, excited “A hunt for his Royal Highness”

Loki chuckled and became visible again, right beside her, making her flinch.

“Interesting” he said, then walked ahead “but let me make it more of a challenge for you all”

Their eyes glittered at the word.

“We play in the Royal Apartments” Loki announced “all of you search for me and the one that finds me, gets a favor”

“What sort of favor?” Balder asked.

Loki thought about it “I conjure something for the winner, anything they want”

“But you cannot make this easier” Fandral told him “You really, truly have to hide”

“And we have two hours to look for you” Balder added

“Aye” Loki smiled “So, may I start?”

“You have it till that door, your majesty” Fandral said, “Then we find you”

Almost like a child, Loki ran forward, opening the door and running out, placing the charm upon himself and sprinting past the hallway, going to the one place he knew he wouldn’t be found.

***

It was, in hindsight, perhaps _too_ good a place to hide.

Loki sat with his head cradled in one hand, drawing designs on the dining table before him as he sat in Frigga and Odin’s private suite.

He blew an impatient breath, thinking about going out but hesitant to get caught after he knew he was _literally_ in the one place he wouldn’t be caught in.

No one would dare to enter these rooms and neither should Loki, but the temptation to win was much too powerful and he wasn’t one to pass off the opportunity to succeed. 

He got so few of them, anyway.

So, Loki stayed and heaved a sigh, moving his slightly sore rump a little on the chair, still invisible to the world.

A door clicked open somewhere and Loki cheered at the thought that someone had come to search for him, the thrill of a challenge rising in his veins.

It crashed and burned, making his freeze in horror when he saw Odin emerge from his bed chambers.

For a moment, Loki almost panicked.

Odin wouldn’t be happy finding him here!

And he wasn’t up for a scolding of epic proportions.

But then he realized he was invisible and placed a hand over his mouth to keep himself silent.

Odin clicked the door shut behind him, staff in hand, robe covering his mighty shoulders, and walked ahead, going to the door that would lead into the hall.

Loki frowned, wondering where his Father in law would be going at this hour and got off the chair silently of his own accord.

He followed Odin on cat’s feet, slinking out behind him and only barely getting out of the door when Odin went into the hallway.

It shut softly behind him and Loki had to paste himself against it for a few moments while Odin walked ahead then he continued his following.

He heard those searching for him yell about and smirked.

Let them search, he had something more interesting that caught his attention.

Odin walked down the halls, uncaring of the shouts and silent at the night. He seemed to he worried about something, Loki thought, because he sighed every now and then and ran a hand through his hair.

Loki followed as they went down a spiraling staircase to the lobby, then into a room Loki had never looked into.

Odin stopped before the door and sighed.

“You know, there is no use for that illusion of you breathe so loudly”

Loki stilled, freezing in dread and Odin chuckled.

“Relax, my child, if I didn’t want you to follow, I would have said something the moment I caught you at my table”

Loki opened his mouth, then closed it.

“I assume you had a good reason,” Odin turned and look directly at Loki “but I will hear it later. Right now, come with me, I think you might want to see this”

Loki walked forward, ready to drop the illusion.

“Stay hidden” Odin said “just until I say so”

Loki nodded, because he thought Odin could see him, and walked closer, no longer silent as he’d been earlier.

As he watched, Odin pushed the door back and walked in, holding open for Loki.

“Whatever happens” Odin told him, looking directly at him even though Loki was cloaked “stand your ground. They need to know you are _my_ son and no one is safe from my wrath if harm comes to them”

Loki swallowed the lump in his throat at the simple declaration.

My son…

He never thought he would hear someone call him that again.

He kept himself focused only by sheer will instead of lunging at Odin and embracing him like h felt like doing at the impulsive moment.

They were in a dimly lit hallway and Loki could make out a collection of rooms at the very end. He stayed close to Odin, following him as he turned into the arch that led into the rooms and blinked at how bright it was.

Prison.

He was in the prison under the castle.

He’d hear a few mentions of it by random people, but never paid attention to it.

Loki would have expected something grotesque, but there were only glass chambers, infused with magic and holding fast.

All but the one at the very end was occupied and two guards stood before them, straightening when Odin approached.

They bowed to Odin in utmost respect and Odin raised a hand.

“Leave us”

They nodded again and marched off without a backwards glance. Loki watched them go, then turned back to Odin, watching.

“So” a sweet, feminine voice spoke from the confines of the cell “you figured it out, then”

Odin’s lips curled “You were not very careful with it, of course I found out. You are the only one besides me that can shield from Heimdall – it was easy.”

Odin walked closer, Loki with him, until they could see inside the cell.

A beautiful woman sat on the bench, wearing the drab clothes she’d been given by the guards, her blonde hair long and open, her poison green eyes shining at Odin.

When she saw Odin she leered “Majesty…”

“I have no patience for your wiles, Amora” Odin rasped “you harmed my child, consider my seeing you all the mercy you will ever be shown”

She scoffed and waved a hand at him “Please, do not be so dramatic. I merely put a curse on him”

“And the forest?” Odin rasped “What was that? The poison you injected my first born with nearly killed him!”

Amora laughed again “You know as well as I that the poison was not meant for him. It was his own fault for shoving that Jotun slut aside”

Loki felt his mouth hang open and felt the color drain from his face.

 _This_ woman was trying to kill him!?

He would have taken a step back but Odin stopped him without a word or sign.

“You will show him respect!” Odin growled “He’s Thor’s…”

“He’s nothing but a pretty, flimsy skirted little quim!” Amora sat up and glared at Odin “Thor was _mine_! He loved me!”

“He never loved you” Odin rasped “you led him about on a string until…”

“Until he met that wench from Midgard” Amora sneered “Yes, you have told me a hundred times over. Jane, precious Jane, so beautiful, so perfect! She was a distraction. You exiled him to her to keep us apart!”

“You don’t love him” Odin told her “Why must you…”

“I love him!” she almost screeched 

“You loved the power he offered, nothing else” Odin said “and you would do _anything_ to get that power”

“I will do anything to get _him_ back” Amora told him, standing up and walking over “Thor was mine, he always was. Now you sold him to a pathetic excuse of skin. Stupid princess that he is, he will never know what Asgard truly thinks of him”

“He is a prince” Odin told her “and my son. You will treat him with respect”

“I will kill him” she rasped, slamming her fist into the glass before her “I will befriend him. He loves magic, so do I. I will become his best friend, the greatest companion he had ever had and when he is enamored by me, when I will have seduced him enough with my power, I will slit his throat and watch him bleed to death before me. That is my vow, Odin, and you know as well as I that you cannot stop me once I set my sights on something”

Odin scoffed “That is your plan?”

“Yes” she hissed “So run along, go to that son in law you have kept because I will take him away from you, right under your nose. I will kill him and dance over his corpse and have Thor for myself – all while you despair in agony at what Amora has done to you”

Odin watched her impassively before he scoffed.

“Loki?”

Amora blinked in confusion, then her eyes went wide when she saw Loki appear right next to Odin, his gaze fixed on her.

Her jaw dropped and she punched the glass again.

“You tricked me!” she screamed

“Now you have nothing” Odin told her “Loki knows what you are capable of and if there is a mage powerful enough to withstand what you throw, it’s him. Thor is under _his_ protection now. You cannot do a single thing”

Amora blinked a few times before she sneered, apparently getting over her fit of rage.   

“We’ll see” she stepped back and looked at Loki up and down “You seem frightened, boy. It’s a good thing”

Loki’s eyes were shining as he gazed upon this crazy woman in horror.

“Loki”

He turned to Odin.

“You are stronger than her” the king said “she has insanity where you have us”

“Oh yes!” Amora sang “Brave little Loki, with the king on his side. Whatever shall I do?”

She made a show of being scared and Loki frowned.

“Make a statement, Loki” Odin said, nudging him forward “make an example of her. Show her what will happen should anyone touch what belongs to you”

Amora dropped her act and hissed like an angry cat “Thor is _not_ his!”

Odin smiled and stepped back, patting Loki’s back “Of course he is”

“He is mine!” Amora rasped as Odin started to walk away “He was always mine, do you hear me?”

Something broke in Loki.

“No”

Amora blinked and looked at Loki, raising an eyebrow “So it can speak. I was wondering about that”

“Thor is not yours” Loki told her firmly “not after what you have done”

Amora scoffed again “Please, stop deluding yourself. He was always mine. He will be mine sooner than you think, if I am correct in my plans”

Loki furrowed his brow at her “Truly? With you locked here?”

“It is where I wish to be” she said, looking at him up and down and sitting cross legged on the other side of the glass “You know you will eventually lose your looks, do you not? Thor is … a basic creature. He is drawn to beauty. How will you keep him when you become uglier than you already are?”

It took Loki a moment, just a moment, so recognize those words.

And when he did, his eyes went wide.

Loki’s mouth parted as he realized the enormity of his problems as everything that confused him suddenly started to make sense.

“You…” he gasped, taking a step back “You’re in league with my brother”

Amora frowned “What?”

“You’re going to do something” Loki told her, then stepped forward, slamming his fist against the glass

“Tell me!”

Amora was only mildly surprised by his yell and gave him a bright grin “You’re smarter than I thought”

“Tell me!” Loki yelled at her “Or I will _make_ you give me the information I want!”

“Ooh” Amora sneered “You seemed to have become a little more interesting than you already were, boy. Tell me what you will do”

Loki’s nails raked the glass and he was suddenly _dangerous_.

Thor was _his_! No one had the right to harm him.

“I’ll kill you” Loki told her “I’ll kill you and hang your insides by the castle gates so that everyone knows what will become of those that take from me!”

Amora threw her head back and laughed “Please! From what I have heard, you cannot harm a fly”

Loki felt it then, white hot rage go through him and he pulled his hand back, slamming it into the glass.

Amora gave a startled shriek as the glass shattered to a hundred pieces, falling like a curtain before her.

She jumped back, but Loki was already there.

He grabbed her by the throat and slammed her into the wall, glaring at her face.

“Do you know what happens” Loki rasped, his eyes boring into hers “To Aesir flesh when it is touched by a Jotun?”

Amora’s eyes widened and she gasped when she saw Loki’s hand began to transform.

She gasped when Loki’s face turned the same shade and his eyes turned blood red as he took on the face of all her nightmares.

“It burns off” Loki told her plainly “Slowly and painfully”

Amora’s breath started to stutter as she saw his fingers turn blue, intricate patterns going to touch her.

She’d heard stories of soldiers that died agonizing deaths after being touched by a Jotun. They went insane from the pain, screamed their throats out and died, breaking like glass, one limb after another.

She’d seen a few as well and had been unable to watch, such was the horror.

“Wait…”

“Talk” Loki rasped, moving closer “Now!”

“At the pass!” she screamed, whimpering “Thor will be taken for ransom at the pass. Your brother knows he cannot get the casket because Odin doesn’t trust him. He has another plan, he plans to take Thor to Farbauti as a sign of peace and…”

Loki dropped her, hearing no more.

Amora lay gasping and touching her throat as he placed the glass back with a wave of his hand and ran through the halls.

Odin’s head spun around when he saw Loki crash through.

“Thor!” Loki gasped, horror on his face “Thor is in trouble!”

Odin’s eye widened and he followed Loki, keeping pace as his son in law ran and explained everything to him at the same time.

They tore back into the castle a few moments later, the sounds of war on their lips and bloodlust in their veins.

***  

He had heard of Jotunhiem’s cruel wind, of the climate that wanted to kill, but it seemed Thor had forgotten what the mountains could do.

Letting Byleistr lead them proved to be better than Thor had previously thought because the Jotun was unfazed by the ice and wind and hail that pelted them constantly and searched for a place large enough to house the entire army behind him.

It had seemed impossible, but Byleistr had assured them that there rested a place that housed those that opposed Farbauti. They held meetings there and if it could hold up, Jotuns, they could go in deeper and keep the Aesir army. Granted, they would have to sit together, but that would prove helpful in this weather.

And Thor had turned to Bragi, the man’s golden eyes fixed on Byleistr. Thor knew he held no love or trust for the Jotun, but he also knew there was no choice.

Their army hadn’t anticipated a blizzard and if they moved to their intended spot now, they would regret it.

So Thor had sighed and Bragi had nodded.

It would be a proved mistake.

Now, Thor held up his hand, shielding his face with this cloak as it hung over his arm and followed the shape before him.

He had a hand behind him that Bragi held, as he extended a hand behind him for a soldier. They had made a chain in this terrible blizzard as it blinded them and Byleistr blinked a few times against the harsh winds.

They turned a sharp corner and Bylestr pointed to an old citadel that rested atop the peak of the mountain they were climbing.

Byleistr’s voice was lost in the winds but Thor assumed that is where they were headed.

He pulled at Bragi’s hand; an order to keep moving.

It was passed along and Byleistr dragged them through, never letting them rest or get reprieve from the howling, screaming winds as they walked on ahead.

It took the better part of an hour, but eventually, Byleistr stepped into the citadel.

It had been broken and abandoned ages ago, he’d been here a few times he’d hidden from his dam and knew it went deeper into the mountain, almost touching the base.

He hadn’t travelled that far, but he knew it was capable of housing the army.

They moved like slow cattle, each with their eyes shut, exhausted and trembling. Thor led the way in before he let Bragi’s hand go and walked in, rubbing his arms as he looked about.

It was _massive_ a sprawling collection of concrete and stone, probably built long ago if judged by the crumbling façade.

Thor couldn’t see the ceiling, that’s how high it was and he shuddered, watching his men move in, grateful for the refuge.

Being Aesir, none showed weakness and started building their camp inside.

Fires were prepared at the very end, so that they had no chance of being seen from outside. Those that were coughing or trembling violently, were made to sit by the fire while the others huddled about, moving, preparing weapons or resting.

Thor had set his camp when he heard the cuss and looked over to see Bragi holding up a torn cloth.

His lips were firmed as he gazed upon the tarp that was his tent and he sighed loudly. There would be no rest for him, it seemed.

There was a moment of indecision before Thor felt himself waver. This was a war; their petty fights had no place here.

“Bragi”

The older man turned and raised a perfect brow at Thor “Aye?”

“There is room enough here” Thor pointed to his tent “Don’t spend the night in the cold”

There was actual surprise on Bragi’s face as he looked at Thor in disbelief before he nodded, collected his things and walked over.

It wasn’t luxurious, it was small and the top of both their heads touched the ceiling. But it protected from the cold and Bragi was grateful as he spread out his pallet and all but fell on it.

Thor gave a soft chuckle and did the same, setting beside Bragi.

“Exhausted?” Thor asked

“Aye” Bragi said, closing his eyes “I hadn’t been sleeping well before the journey and now it seems to have spent me”

Thor frowned a little “Why do you not sleep?”

Bragi seemed to tense a moment, then shrugged “I don’t know”

Thor blinked at the blatant lie, but decided to let it go. He’d offered Bragi his tent, his council was not needed.

Exhaling, Thor realized how tired he was as he sat back, then lay upon his pallet.

“No room for dinner, then?” Bragi mocked lazily.

Thor grunted a response.

“I see”

A silence fell then, and Bragi lay on his front, turning his head aside, listening to the warriors outside move about and talk.

They were exhausted and Bragi feared Thor would make them wait a day before attacking. He wasn’t a slave driver, Bragi knew an exhausted army wouldn’t help them, but he also knew that the longer they waited, the more fates planned against them.

He wanted to say something, he really did, but at that moment, his exhaustion took over and he closed his eyes, intending to rest only a moment, falling into deep slumber.

Outside, Byleistr stood with his arms crossed over his chest and his ankle hooked over his foot. His crimson gaze was scanning the horizon for signs of movement.

In this blizzard, few would be desperate enough to move out, so it would be easy to catch sight of a few stragglers and label them as friend or foe.

Light flashed in the distance and Byleistr frowned.

It was the Bifrost.

His eyes widened when he realized there was no real reason for Odin to send someone.

Unless…

His heart started to beat in his chest and his eyes began a wilder search, willing himself to calm.

Helbindi was due in the morning. If the All Father was here, that gave him no time.

He needed to hurry.

So he looked behind him, at the shuddering army and made up his mind.

Placing two his fingers between his lips, he let loose a high pitched whistle that tore through the howling winds and high above the skies where it was heard.

High above, where no one could see them, so stealthily were they waiting to kidnap the Crowned Prince, the two Jotuns shed the white furs that hid them in the snow and moved forward on Byleistr’s command

They were to guide Helbindi here when they saw him on a peak up north.

When they heard the whistle, they knew something was wrong and moved to do just as Byleistr had asked them to.

***

Erik had apparently made a wish against going as fast as Loki wanted him to.

Or it seemed that way to Loki.

He yelled, placing a charm to ward off the snow and hail the wind pelted them with and snapped the reins, making the horse run even faster.

Behind him, all of Thor’s friends and his brother hurried as well, racing towards the path Loki led as he used his magic to guide them to the path Thor had taken.

It was easier because Byleistr’s footprints were large and hadn’t diminished. 

His eyes fixed on them, Loki urged Erik faster, praying and willing himself to be calm, wishing he was wrong about everything.

He couldn’t stand the thought, no matter how much it made sense. His brother wouldn’t do this. His brother _couldn’t_ do this.

Loki had promised him the casket, why was he going to sabotage it?

Loki felt tears of worry and fear cover his eyes.

Tonight, he was going to lose.

Even if he won and did what he came to, Loki was going to lose.

And it scared him enough to bite his lips. He wiped his eyes and yelled again, willing himself to be wrong.

He would gladly face his humiliation rather than his brother’s betrayal.  

Behind him, Balder was watching Loki as he wiped his eyes and he shook his head. If the boy hesitated, Balder would have to be the one to end Byleistr.

Because if what Loki and Odin had discovered was the truth and that he man truly intended on handing Thor over for ransom – Balder would have no other choice.

Thor was his brother and Balder had vowed to protect him.

Behind him, the Warriors Three, Sif and Theoric hastened their steeds as Loki led them forth, rage and retribution barely restrained within their gazes.

***

Thor grunted, struggling against his bonds and gags, but the damned things were enchanted.

The two Jotuns that held him, laughed cruelly and forced him to the ground, placing a large foot on his back.

He roared in anger as the entire Aesir army was forced back, deeper into the caves and the tunnels below.

Bragi was likewise floored, another Jotun standing on him while Bylseistr watched impassively from the distance.

It hadn’t been much of a fight.

Thor and Bragi had been sleeping so it was easy for them to be bound and gagged, knives at their throats as they made thousand men yield. 

No one wanted to see the Odin’s sons slain, be they prince or not.

Byleistr had made it abundantly clear that he would kill them there and then if the army didn’t do as he asked and backed away into the citadel, going to where the ground was made of thick, cracked sleet and they had to remain cautious.

All insults hurled at him were forgotten and Byleistr scoffed.

Once the army was securely in the tunnels, a thousand angry men trying to find a way to help their princes, Byleistr gave the order.

The Jotuns that herded them back suddenly created their ice blades on their arms, the slicing sound piercing the angry yells and calls of the men, then moved forward.

Thor and Bragi watched helplessly as they lifted their hands high above their heads and brought them down on the ground upon which the Aesir army stood.

Identical screams of agony erupted from behind their gags as the ground beneath their army cracked loudly, horrifyingly, before it gave out.

Thor screamed when all his people fell into the hard Jotun ice and snow miles beneath them, their terrifying screaming and yells echoing until they started to hear sickening cracks and thuds, heard pained shouts, tortured screams and cries of agony.

Byleistr chuckled “Jagged rocks. They won’t survive”

Thor yelled behind his bounds when he heard grotesque squelching, when he heard the men scream as they were torn apart, skinned alive and cut up like pieces of meat at a butchers’. The sound of armor cracking and joining the battle against those it was meant to protect was loud, the yells or rage and pain alike.

Those that had managed a fall where they were whole were screaming in grief as they _saw_ their comrades be lacerated before their eyes.   

Thor yelled again, his anger reaching its peak but he couldn’t break the bonds nor could he do anything other than let his tears fall down his cheeks when he was pulled up and hauled over a Jotun’s shoulder.

His eyes met Bragi’s and the other thrashed where he was kept captive.

Byleistr sneered at the golden eyed warrior.

“Let him live” he told a Jotun “he needs to deliver my message”

Bragi snarled at him, trying to get at him but finding himself dragged back and thrown on the ground again, a heavy foot on his back.

“Listen well” Byleistr looked down at him “They will be here in a few hours, maybe they find you, maybe they don’t. If the latter, deliver this message: My Father’s reign will come again. Give us the Casket or we will send Thor’s head on a platter”

Bragi growled and struggled, making Byleistr laugh.

He stepped back “This is Loki’s fault. He should have given me the Casket when I asked for it. Instead he left me to Thor and a paltry army. I am a prince! I deserve to be treated as such”

In his rage, he stepped forward and lifted Bragi from the other Jotun, hitting him across the face and

sent him sprawling.

“This is my rule!”

Bragi watched as the room began to spin and everything became blurry.

The last thing he saw was Thor being taken away, his hammer left for the others to find.

Then darkness came over and Bragi seeped into it slowly.

***

It took his two hours and Loki already knew he was too late.

Following his brother’s footsteps, then the army’s as they became visible, they came upon a place far from the Royal palace, aptly named Laufey’s Passing.

His father had died here. His chest ripped open by a Jotun monster that he had wanted to hunt down.

Laufey had stayed here for hours before he was found and brought back.

Loki still remembered the day well.

He had been in his room, reading, waiting for his father to come him at night and talk to him until he slept.

When the door had opened, however, it wasn’t Laufey that had come in, but a servant, asking Loki to come forward so he could have last words with his father.

Loki’s world had shattered then and having not the strength, Loki didn’t ever put it back together.

Thor did.

Yesterday, Thor had fixed him so much that the pain Loki always felt, the heart that laid broken in his chest had managed to heal.

And now…

Loki shook his head and moved on, keeping the snow and hail off the others with magic, following the footsteps to the citadel where Byleistr lurked on occasion.

An hour.

Another hour it took for him to arrive and the moment Loki entered, he lost all color to his face. 

Blood.

He smelled blood.

And Thor wasn’t there.

“Thor!” Loki screamed in hysterics, leaping forward.  
He gasped and cried out when someone grabbed him from behind and looked to see Theoric holding him.

“No!” Loki yelled, struggling against him “Let me go! I need to find him! Thor!”

But his desperate voice was answered only by his own echo.

The others contained themselves and walked in, going deeper and raising their weapons when they heard pained groans and cries.

Fandral raised a torch high in the air and he paled at what he saw.

No one was there.

And apart from a limp body lying ahead, there was nothing.

“Bragi!” Volstagg ran forward, falling beside the man and gently turning him over.

Bragi’s face was cut, blood leaking and his eyes fluttered.

Hogun walked past him, going to a tunnel up ahead, where the pained moans and groaned seemed to originate from. His face, if already grim, turned to stone when he saw what was underneath.

Sif came up beside him and gasped, her face was horrified. She placed a hand over her mouth, eyes watering up at the horror she saw within.

“Let me go!” Loki said, resisting as Theoric kept pulling him.

“Release him” Balder came up from behind them.

Loki fell forward and ran ahead, crying out when Balder seized his arm.

“Do _not_ do anything rash” Balder warned him “and stay by me. Norns know Thor will kill me if I let something happen to you”

Loki nodded and obeyed, trotting after Balder when he went to where Bragi and the others were.  
Fandral had tears in his eyes and they widened when he saw Loki.

“No” he gasped, walking forward hand extended “No, don’t come here, your majesty, please”

His broken voice, nothing else, stopped Loki. Balder moved on and looked down.

He gasped and his face crumpled as he saw the carnage that lay below.

“They’re still alive” Sif gasped, feeling tears falling down her own cheek “They’re still alive.”

Volstagg wiped his own eyes discreetly and Hogun watched over Bragi, gently tapping his face to wake him.

Loki flinched when Balder suddenly fell on his knees, placing a hand on Volstagg’s shoulder and giving it a squeeze.

Loki didn’t have to ask what was in that large crevice – he already knew.

Their reaction was enough.

He felt his heart pound in his chest as he thought of what the army had gone through and he walked over, kneeling beside Balder and placing a hand on his shoulder.

Balder looked up, his brilliant blue eyes shining.

Loki didn’t say anything, he just sat there; comforting.

A few moments later, he felt Sif come up behind him and place her head on his shoulder, putting her arms around his tapered waist.

She was crying.

Fandral came to kneel beside Volstagg and Hogun rested next to Bragi, rubbing his cold hands to wake him.

Not a word was spoken.

***

Bragi opened his violent eyes a few hours later.

He saw the men and woman sitting around, none speaking, so he groaned to get their attention.

Balder was the first to arrive.

He held Bragi’s head up and Fandral held a canteen to his lips, making him drink water.

He could smell Idunn’s apples within and was grateful.

Fandral sniffed “What happened?”

“Byleistr” Bragi croaked “betrayed us all”

There was a gasp from behind them and Loki put a hand over his mouth, his worst fears coming true.

“Thor?”

“Taken for ransom” Bragi rasped “his hammer lies in the corner”

“Where are they going?” Balder asked

“To Farbauti” Bragi said “They want the Casket…”

Bragi sighed “Water, please”

Sif ran over, followed by Volstagg and Hogun as they offered their water as well.

“How long ago?” Fandral asked once Bragi had his fill.

“I don’t know” Bragi said “knocked me out”

Balder and Fandral looked at each other.

“Well, we have an advantage” Volstagg said somberly “Loki knows…”

Volstagg broke off when he looked to the side, making everyone turn and freeze in horror when they saw Loki nowhere in sight.

Balder surged to his feet, looking about “Loki!”

His panicked voice hit the walls and came back.

But it was no use.

Loki was gone.

***

They ended up stabbing him because he squirmed so much and Thor was now limp.

Byleistr could see the checkpoint ahead, he knew they would he held safe until the blizzard passed.

It was at a rock’s edge, a thousand foot drop below and it was barely a house.

But it would keep them safe and that was all he wanted at the moment.

He took a few steps forward, a grin on his face when the first blast sounded.

Byleistr turned to see one of the three Jotuns behind him fall with a pained cry.

He frowned and stopped, waving the one carrying Thor on.

Another pained cry and a blast later, another Jotun fell and only then did Byleistr sneer.

“So” he called over the winds, hand going to the dagger at his side “You are finally here, brother!?”

There was no reply, but another sound blasted from his left, making him spin around, and slash the air with his dagger.

He laughed “Tricks! Is this all you have, brother?!”

A loud cry came from within his supposed refuge and Byleistr turned.

His eyes widened when he saw the Jotun fall and he saw Loki, dragging Thor to the side, his pale face almost panicked.

“You!”

Byleistr roared and ran forward.

Loki looked up and gasped, shaking Thor in hopes of waking him then shrinking back when Byleistr approached.

“Brother, please!” Loki pleaded, gasping when the Jotun approached, arm raised to kill.

He cried out when Byleistr struck, leaping aside and running when Byleistr growled to attack again.

Loki ran, yelling when Byleistr lashed at him again, nicking his arm with enough strength to shred it and make him lose his balance.

Loki hit the snow covered ground, right next to the ledge, almost dropping off.

He looked over his shoulder and almost screamed when Byleistr lunged, ramming the dagger he had in his hand right beside the ground, pinning Loki’s coat into the hard ice.

Loki looked him, then at the dagger, yanking his coat to try and get it free.

Byleistr straightened, looking at him impassively.

“I have come too far to have you destroy everything” he told Loki “I’m sorry”

Loki looked at him with tormented eyes before he felt and heard the first sickening crack where the dagger was embedded.

His green eyes went wide as he looked at the darkened drop below, so dark he couldn’t see the bottom, then back at Byleistr.

He gasped in disbelief when his brother kicked at the block of hard ice slowly separating itself from the rock, ready to take Loki with it.

“Byleistr!” Loki screamed, frantically trying free himself.

“I’m truly sorry, brother”

Loki screamed when Byleistr stepped back, walking away as the edge of rock Loki was pinned to started to fall.

***

“Your highness?”

Loki turned, mouth agape, at the healer behind him.

“He calls you”


	19. Lost

Loki looked up and gasped, shaking Thor in hopes of waking him then shrinking back when Byleistr approached.

He fell back on his hands, scrambling away from Thor when Byleistr lost control.

“Brother, please!” Loki pleaded, gasping when the Jotun approached, arm raised to kill.

He cried out when Byleistr struck, leaping aside and running when Byleistr growled to attack again. The ground, where Loki was before the blow, shattered under Byleistr’s rage.

He was going to kill him, Loki realized. 

His brother was trying to kill him!

That thought rocked him to the core and Loki tried escaping, fear written all over his features as he tried to run away from Byleistr, try to get him to calm down enough to…

Loki yelled in pain when Byleistr caught and lashed at him, placing a nice, clean slice into his skin and he fell into the ice, painting it red with the spray of blood that came forth.

The world of grey started to spin as he fell and he hissed at the pain that went through him, placing a hand over his injury before he looked behind him.

Loki couldn’t contain the cry of pure fright as Byleistr lunged at him again, arm raised with the intention to kill.

Loki saw it in his eyes and he cringed, nearly falling off the edge he’d landed on. He gasped loudly when the blade landed, not in his flesh, but his clothes, firmly pinning him to the rock hard ice.

For only a moment, Loki thought Byleistr had just scared him. And though that was a horrible thing to do, it was more bearable than the idea of his own brother trying to murder him.

But then Byleistr spoke.

“I have come too far to have you destroy everything”

Loki gaped and looked at him, tears in his eyes, blood pumping from his wound.

“I’m sorry”

Loki’s eyes went wide in horror as he realized his brother was truly going to kill him. He pulled at the coat, all magic forgotten in panic, releasing his injured arm to pull with the other.

The ice cracked beneath him and Loki screamed in terror.

“Byleistr!” he sobbed, frantically trying to free himself as the block of ice he was pinned to started to tilt.

“Brother, help me!” Loki pleaded, his hand going to the edge, trying to claw his way back up.

The rock tilted and Loki lost his hold.

A terrified scream erupted from his throat as Loki slipped off the side, his nails raking the surface of the rock even as he slipped back. 

“Byleistr!” Loki screamed louder, calling for his brother.

The rock tilted back further.

“No!” Loki screamed just as he lost his hold and fell backwards, the sound of his screaming high in the Jotun skies.

The wind howled past his ears as he clawed at the air, falling, falling backwards into the darkest of Jotun depths.

Tears flew from his eyes as he was turned on his front, seeing the abyss his brother had tossed him into.

His face was hopeless and he was broken inside, screaming in heartbreak and terror alike as he fell to certain death.

Loki cried out when he suddenly hit something with enough force to leave him winded.

He grasped it, clutched to it for dear life, holding it to his chest. His nails raked it, dug into it as he held on like a cat, desperate to keep his hold.

Cracking sounded from above and Loki looked up to see the block he’d been trapped on finally topple,

Byleistr’s dagger shining as it followed. Loki cringed from it, felt it fall past, heard the cracks it gave before he realized he was stuck on a piece of protruding rock.

It was jagged and slim, only barely holding his weight and Loki held onto it like it was the only thing that mattered, his heart racing in his chest, tears falling down his face.

Byleistr hadn’t even hesitated…

A growl came from above and Loki looked up to see his brother glaring down at him.

He heard him rumble something and gave a loud, terrified scream when Byleistr moved away and returned holding a large boulder over his head, ready to hurl at Loki.

“No!” Loki screamed, pleading “Please! Brother, don’t!”

His frightened voice echoed back to him, shrill and hopeless even as he begged.

Byleistr hurled the rock.

Loki cried out and let his perch go, watching his small refuge shatter beneath the boulder as he fell off it just in time. Screaming, he fell for a long while before he managed to make his fingers glow.

He stopped himself, levitating even as his heart shattered.

“You bitch!” Byleistr roared from above “Why won’t you just _die_!?”

Tears falling from his eyes, Loki streamlined his body and moved up, levitating himself back to the edge and standing on the very precipice of rock and air.

Byleistr looked at him and roared in rage.

Loki felt himself break even further as he stood pitted against his brother, fighting for his life against the only man who’d ever protected him.

Byleistr roared again, especially when he caught sight of a few figures running over.

The Aesir.

“Traitor!” Byleistr yelled at his brother “I’ll kill you!”

“No” Loki whimpered, shaking his head “Please, no…”

He was going to kill him.

After all he had done, Byleistr truly thought him expendable.

Byleistr was beyond his own rage and sprinted to Loki, intending on throwing him off the edge he stood on and killing him.

Because no one stood between what he wanted and his throne.

Loki ran to the side when his brother charged at him, blade held aloft. He ran towards the Aesir, taking him away from Thor.

He screamed when something heavy hit him, sending him flying towards the edge again, making him writhe in agony as his injured arm flared up with pain.

He slid close to it, managed to keep himself from falling over and sat up.

“You should have given it to me when you had the chance!” Byleistr roared, lunging at him again when

Loki stood on shaking legs, pleading with him, begging him.

He gave a wordless yell as he approached Loki, crimson eyes shining with a desire for Loki’s death and his greed, and he attacked.

Loki saw the murder in his eyes and broke all over. His pleadings died on his lips as he waited for his homicidal brother.

Loki cried out in pain and agony a moment before he leapt aside, slamming himself into the snowy ground hard enough to pop something in his chest.

And Byleistr…

…Byleistr gave a startled yell and a roar of pure rage as the place Loki had stood on suddenly became nothing…

…and Byleistr fell.

Loki wailed in agony as he saw his brother fall, curling on his side when he heard Byleistr’s scream of rage and fear as he went down into the crevice he was going to throw Loki into, as he fell into the abyss where he was going to die, when he fell into the darkness he’d collected for himself for so long.

“No!” Loki screamed, sobbing as he turned on his back and howling his grief to the skies.

He was crying, loud and long, sobs wracking his body, his blood painting the snow as he screamed in denial and rage and agony.

He heard voices somewhere, he heard people calling to him and a while later, he felt them, too.

Loki wasn’t purely conscious, he didn’t know who fell over him, who paled when they saw him screaming and crying, who lifted him into their arms and who went over to help Thor.

All he was aware of was his own agony, his own stupidly and the pain in his heart and body when he realized he’d killed his own brother.

***   
He wasn’t aware of when he lost consciousness, but when Loki woke next, he was in his chambers, under the thick sheets.

His arm was bandaged up to his shoulder and one around his torso under the clothes he was wearing.

 Loki was wearing the softest clothes he had in his wardrobe; someone had changed him. There was a cut on his forehead he hadn’t been aware of until he raised a hand to touch the bandage on it and moaned in either pain or despair.

It seemed one was there with the other, always digging its claws into him, pulling his flesh painfully to see how long it would take before he started to bleed.

As it turned out, it didn’t take that long.

As he lowered his hand, Loki was painfully reminded of why he was there, lying in his chambers, lying battered and broken in the first place.

His lips quivered before his eyes began to fill with tears and a moment later, Loki let loose a huge, loud wail, weeping into his hands as his loss hit him with full force.

He never registered the footsteps that ran up the stairs, instead, falling back on the bed and crying as he thought of what he had done.

His _brother_ …

He’d killed his own brother…

Loki gasped for breath, tears of grief, agony and self loathing falling from his eyes.

He startled when two warm arms came around him and lifted him from the bed to place him gently against a massive chest.

“Loki”

There was relief in that voice and it did nothing to soothe him. If anything, in the confines of those soothing arms made Loki feel trapped, felt his grief and his betrayal take him over, make him feel even worse than he already was.

“No!” Loki moaned, trying to extract himself from Thor’s grasp “No…”

“Hush” Thor held him close, placed a hand over his head and rested it upon his shoulder “It’s alright, Loki, I’m right here”

Loki gave another sob as Thor held him, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to ignore the horror that was going through him.

He couldn’t believe this had happened.

He couldn’t believe Byleistr had actually tried to _kill_ him, he couldn’t believe _he_ had ended up killing Byleistr.

Loki gave another moan of despair and tried to push Thor off, he needed to…

He needed…

Loki let loose a strangled sob when he realized he didn’t know what he needed.

He _wanted_ all of this to be a terrible nightmare, but he knew he was awake; there would be no peace for him.

“Please…” he whispered, all but falling away from Thor “please…”

He didn’t know what he was asking for but the _pain_ that was going through his heart seemed unending, the horror that clung to his screamed at him, yelled and reached for him, dragging him down into its dark depths and making him see it again and again, making him see killing his own brother, making him see his brother’s merciless gaze as he ran to him, ready to kill him.

And he heard it, too. 

Loki heard his brother’s scream as he fell to his death, the scream of denial and fear and betrayal alike.

He gave another wail and Thor held him tighter, trying to ease him as Loki broke before him, shattered all over without healing.

Thor sat beside him, his own eyes filling with tears at the state he saw Loki in.

The man was destroyed, broken and it seemed he was beyond repair.

He screamed endlessly in horror, he cried and he kicked, hitting Thor and wanting him to let go, to leave him in this despair.

“Hush, darling” Thor said when Loki stopped his heartbreaking weeping to take a breath “don’t cry, Loki, don’t cry”

But Loki didn’t listen.

He was being eroded by his own guilt, torn apart from the inside as every single moment played before him as he kept thinking of what he had done…

What had he done!?

“No…” Loki whimpered “no, please no…”

But no matter what he did, not matter how he wept and kicked and pushed at Thor, no matter how he pleaded, no matter how much grief broke over him again and again…

…Byleistr was dead.

Loki had killed him.

***

Thor had held him through his storm, let Loki hit him and fight against him as much as he wanted.

Loki needed this, he needed this outlet.

He didn’t know how long it went on, how long Loki cried for but he knew he was loud enough to alert a few guards that had immediately gone to fetch the King and Queen.

So when Thor heard his chambers open and heard the doors thud close, he sent a small prayer of thanks to the skies.

Sitting with his arms around his husband, Thor didn’t move from the bed but he did look up when Odin came up the stairs, Frigga right behind him.

Loki didn’t see them.

His eyes were wide and focused on the ground as his hands idly played with the front of Thor’s tunic. He hiccupped every now and then and a few tears still fell from his eyes but other than that, he was still and he stared.

“Thor” Odin nodded to him and came over, waving his hand to make a chair slide over while Frigga ran to Loki.

Thor didn’t let Loki go, but he made room for his mother to come and sit before them.

Frigga’s face was a mask of pain when she saw the state Loki was in and she reached forward to touch his cheek.

“Oh, my child” she whispered and looked to Thor, asking him to move and let her help Loki through this tragedy.

Thor hesitated only a moment before he nodded and let Loki go, passing the nearly limp form to his mother and watching as Loki didn’t even blink, so lost was he in his sorrow.

Frigga placed his head on her shoulder and placed a hand on his head, slowly whispering to him, soothing him and calming him with magic and her presence both.

Loki sniffed loudly a few moments later, then his lip quivered and he turned his head, hiding it in her neck as he sobbed again.

He was quieter this time, sobbing softly as he was once more hit with a grief he seemed to carry alone.

And that hurt him even more.

No one mourned his brother, no one condemned Loki for his actions and no one comforted him the way he needed to be.

Thor rubbed Loki’s back while Odin watched, his wise gaze fixed on the boy for the entire slot of time he wept in Frigga’s shoulder, holding onto her like a true mother.

It had finally happened; Loki had lost his _entire_ family.

 _They_ were all he had now, _they_ were his family. And he’d known them for such a short amount of time.

Thor looked _wretched_.

These past few days had been horrible for Asgard, a terrible tragedy that had shocked them and hurt them badly.

Asgard was in almost the same state as Loki.

The thousand men Byleistr had slain had left behind screaming families, had left behind destroyed homes, orphans and widows. The tragedy had left behind grief and sorrow, loss and hopelessness, rage and despair.

A thousand widows, a thousand sisters, a thousand mothers and a thousand families cried and cursed the fates, cursed themselves for having let their fathers, brothers, sons and husbands go.

They cursed the Jotun responsible.

In the past few days, ever since Loki lay asleep, lost and alone in his misery, Asgard had mourned. Those that had died were brought back under helpful guard and with the All Father’s presence. They had been placed in thick wooden coffins, so cut and sheared were their corpses. 

Those that were strong of heart had been the only ones that had seen them.

The families to which they were delivered hadn’t been able to see them because Odin had ordered them to be nailed down and he had been thanked for that small mercy.

Asgard hadn’t known tragedy as much ever since the very first war with Jotunhiem, when Odin was a small boy.

It had been a massacre then and it had been a slaughter now.

And where they had been feared in Odin’s childhood, they were now hated.

The Royal family heard.

They heard what the broken Aesir said and they heard what they demanded.

Revenge.

They demanded the new Jotun prince to be hung as recompense for their loss.

They demanded Loki’s head and they demanded his blood spilt before them as a retribution for what his brother had done.

They had started to talk and Odin feared for Loki.

Even while he slept, someone remained with him, someone was always near him, keeping him safe.

At night, Thor had two guards placed at his door and one on the roof, keeping an eye out for any daring Aesir who were angry enough to kill.

There had been talks with those that were most vocal in their demands and led the people forth, but so far there had been no negotiating.

Asgard wanted Jotun blood spilt and short of giving a royal order and creating a resentment against the entire Royal Family, there was little Odin could do but hope.

Hope that they eventually see sense, hope that he delayed it enough to let their bloods cool and let them move over this horrific tragedy.

But the chances were slim because a disaster of _this_ magnitude wouldn’t be forgotten.

The Jotuns were still monsters to these people and what little ground they had gained by wedding Thor to Loki was lost.

There was nothing Odin could do but wait.

When Thor sighed, Odin looked up to see him give Loki’s back one last rub and stand.

His boy was tired, Odin could see.

The last few days had taken their toll on him and he could clearly make out dark circles under Thor’s red eyes.

On the bed, Frigga was still humming to Loki, talking to him and whispering spells to dull his pain.

Though Loki had fallen silent, he was still in a state of shock where he blinked only occasionally and breathed softly but remained otherwise unreachable.

Thor came over to sit at his father’s feet and placed his forehead on Odin’s knees.

“Father…” Thor whispered.

“Hush, my son” Odin rested a hand lovingly on his boy’s head “be strong. You’ll remember in time.”

Thor closed his eyes in heartache and let his own despair lose the battle against his will. Yes, he still didn’t remember Loki. He wished he could, he desperately wished he could because he knew he loved him.

He just didn’t feel it.

And it was trying to break him.

Thor exhaled loudly but didn’t say anything. He didn’t move, either.

Odin let him stay where he was, his eyes watching Loki and Frigga, his lips moving in silent prayer as he thought to try and end this disaster.

He found himself at a loss in the end, because there _was_ no answer.

***

That night, Thor woke to the feeling of loneliness.

In sleep, he turned and his arm moved, sliding over the sheets where his husband lay and his eyes flashed open when he encountered nothing.

Thor sat up, his heart in his throat as he looked around, his mouth opened on a loud call when he heard water running and turned to see the washroom lights shining from beneath the door.

Sighing in relief and placing a hand over his heart, Thor pushed aside the covers and stood, slowly walking to the washroom door and listening.

He only heard water running, no other movement and he stood for a while, listening.

But when nothing happened for a solid five minutes, Thor knocked as a warning and pushed open the door.

Loki sat under the lions head spout, fully clothed and drenched.

He had his knees pulled up and his arms around them as he stared, unseeing at the tiles of the bath he sat in, watching the water drain away. His eyes were large and shining as the water washed tears away from them.

He didn’t move when Thor entered, so deep was he in his anguish. 

Thor exhaled softly and walked over, his bare feet making no sound as he came to turn off the faucet.

Loki didn’t move. He just sat there with his hair dripping and plastered to his head. Thor leaned down, grabbed a towel and pulled it around Loki.

Then he lifted him into his arms and carried him to their room where he set him on a couch and started to dry Loki.

The green eyed prince didn’t say a word, didn’t even look at Thor while he was worked on, while Thor dried his hair and began to take off his wet clothes.

He didn’t wince when Thor pulled his wet bandage from his torso and his arm and he didn’t speak when

Thor simply started to put new, clean and dry bandages over him.

Then Thor went to get him trousers and a tunic and dressed Loki. His hair was a tangled mess so Thor went over to the dressing table to pull out Loki’s brush and started to take the tangles out of his soft hair.

When he was done, he once more lifted Loki into his arms and carried him back to the bed, ignoring the towel as it lay on the floor, and set his lovely consort within the sheets.

Thor got in beside him before pulling Loki flush against his chest and used his other hand to start raking Loki’s back with his nails, scratching him.

The reaction was slight.

Loki gave a small sigh of relief and his eyes started to droop.

His hand fisted into Thor’s tunic and he moved closer and Thor …

Thor smiled, kissed the top of his head because he remembered Loki’s reaction the very first time he scratched his back.

It was the first time Loki had gotten drunk and though it hadn’t ended well, Thor savored it still.

Because he knew _that_ was the moment Loki stole his heart.

He knew because he remembered.

Thor remembered everything about Loki.

Loki whimpered softly and Thor kissed his forehead.

“It’s alright, Beloved” he said “It’s going to be alright”

***

That morning was still a problem.

Odin had gone to the meeting with the Aesir hurt most by Byleistr’s actions as they waited in a conference room where they had been instructed to sit.

They stood and bowed to him before kneeling in a sign of respect.

Three men and three women.

Brothers and fathers, mothers and sisters; they were chosen by the rest to represent them and their desires.

Odin greeted them with a nod before moving to sit at the head of the table and waved them forward.

“Have you been given refreshments?” he asked as they sat.

“Yes, your highness” one of the men said, holding a chair out for is wife to sit on.

They were the Daregates and they had lost their only son. The husband, Robert, was a farmer and his wife, Emma, was a seamstress. Their son, Gareth, had been a devoted soldier.

They had been extremely proud and now…

They were just as shattered.

Opposite them, sat a widow, Alivia and her son, her husband Alvis had been lost under Byleistr’s betrayal. 

She was pregnant with her second child.

At the end, sat Aric and Arnie, two brothers that had lost their father.

Odin nodded to Robert and sat back, waiting for them to speak.

It didn’t take long. 

“Have you considered, then?” Aric asked, clearly headstrong “Your Royal Highness?”

Odin raised his chin and little, looking at him as he spoke.

“Aye” he said “I have thought about it.”

They waited, almost leaning forward.

“The answer is no” Odin said “Demand anything else and …”

Robert shook his head “No, our son was lost because of him … you cannot deny us punishment”

“What you ask for is manslaughter” Odin said “that boy is innocent”

“He is the reason we lost Father” Aric said, placing a hand on the table “he and his brother …”

“Are nothing alike” Odin said “He…”

“Your Majesty” Alivia cut in, making Odin look at her “I will already raise two orphans. I have lost everything. My husband was killed by those monsters, will I be denied justice as well?”

“This is no justice” Odin said “the Jotun responsible is dead”

“Then show us his corpse” Arnie said “show us that he is gone, where is his body?”

Odin tightened his lips and tried to ignore the insolence “I have told you, Loki …”

“He could have lied, Majesty” Alivia said “he was his brother”

Odin bit the inside of his cheek to keep from answering like he wanted to.

He was saved from it when Robert stood slowly.

“Majesty, we respect you and we respect the family” he said “but not Loki. None in Asgard want him here, if I may be so bold. He is a Jotun and a monster to us all. He is responsible for the deaths of our families; a thousand families of Asgard. Know that we do not threaten, but Asgard _will_ extract punishment with or without your consent. We do not wish to fight against you, but if you do not give us the justice we want, it might come to that”

Emma locked her eyes on the table but spoke not and a moment later, Robert turned to leave. The others took the cue and stood, bowing to Odin before they headed for the door.

“Before you go”

They all stopped, looking at their king as he spoke.

“Let me give you a few ‘non threatening’ words ” Odin smiled gently “let’s say I do give you what you wish and you get the chance to spill Loki’s blood. You will have your justice, disproportionate as it will be, and I will lose a boy I consider my own.”

He looked at them for a long moment before he smiled “What makes you think Thor will not react to this?”

Robert felt a chill go through him, and felt someone give a soft gasp behind him.

“Thor is rather fond of his consort” Odin told them “I can give you the justice you want, but I cannot protect you once Thor decides he wants his own. It will be as you crave; blood for blood. Only this time the blood will be spilt under Mjolnir and the justice will be taken by thunder and lightning.”

Odin stood “You say you do not want to go to war against us, but what will stop Thor from going to war against _you_?”

They stood still.

“I offer you this” Odin said “expenses paid for your living and blood money for your loss will be given from the royal treasury. For the men I offer free training should they decide to join the army and for the women, a place in the palace should they accept. Rest assured, I take care of my people and this will be no problem for me. Think on it, discuss it, then return”

They nodded to him, bowed again and left.

The door had barely closed when they started talking amongst themselves and Odin felt a weight off his shoulders.

Hopefully, if they had sense, they would take his offer.

If they didn’t …

Odin didn’t know what he would do.

***

Because they had slept fitfully last night, they woke late in the afternoon.

Loki kept whimpering and kicking Thor in his sleep and Thor had to wake him up. Loki would huddle into him and hold him close, squeezing his eyes shut and let Thor scratch his back to put him to sleep again.    
It was tiring and Thor had little to no fitful sleep. So when he woke that morning and once more discovered that Loki wasn’t sleeping beside him, he nearly went into a panic.

He sat up with a gasp, his eyes frantic as he looked about and only relaxed, sighing loudly, when he saw Loki sitting at the foot of the bed, his arms around his raised knees.

He turned to look at Thor when he heard him, his green eyes shining. He didn’t say anything, just watched, probably waiting for a reaction. 

And Thor smiled at him softly “Good morning, Beloved. Are you feeling better?”

Loki blinked and nodded once, lowering his eyes to the bed.

Thor felt a dagger twist in his heart when he saw how swollen and red Loki’s beautiful eyes were. They were puffy and he sniffed every now and then, making Thor realize that he wasn’t crying now because there were no more tears left.

“Come here” Thor said softly, extending and arm his lover.

Loki looked and him, the dropped his gaze before slowly sliding forward, dragging himself back to Thor and wordlessly sitting against him, letting Thor hold him close to his side.

He watched the ground, blinking slowly, a hand playing with the front of Thor’s tunic as he breathed evenly. His eyes were still shining and the only sounds he made were soft sniffs.

Thor lay back, sitting against the headboard, with Loki pasted to his side.

He didn’t speak, either; his blue eyes were focused on the wall before him as he replayed that night before.

The night a thousand Asgardians mourned and the night the worst calamity Thor had ever seen in his lengthy life took place and destroyed more than he could ever have thought possible.

He had lost men he had fought alongside, men he had played with when he was a child, men he had caroused with at nights, warriors he had battled with.

Gone

All of them, just like a wisp of smoke, lost above the skies of a fire.

Gone

Dead

Massacred

Thor didn’t think he would ever see such _pain_ in Asgard. He didn’t think he would see this much suffering.

Asgard was the Realm Eternal, she was golden and at the height of power. The other Realms looked up to her, she led them. She was their strength and led them.

So seeing her fall was the most horrifying thing he had ever experienced.

That, coupled with his own attack, Byleistr’s betrayal and what that meant for this whole situation made everything even more twisted.

And he had almost lost Loki.

He was still in danger of losing him and Thor didn’t think he would be able to handle that.

Not again

Not when he was so in love that he could barely think of anything other than his consort, not when Loki meant more to him than his own life and not when Loki was finally making him better, making him the person he never thought he would be.

No, Thor wasn’t going to lose him again, especially to his own despair.

He was going to bring Loki back, he was going to keep him safe and he was going to protect him forever.

Because Loki was his eternity.

Loki sighed softly and Thor looked at him, rubbing his arm.

“Are you hungry?”

Loki shook his head.

“You must be” Thor said softly “What do you feel like having?”

Loki shook his head again and Thor sat up, making Loki sit up as well before he grasped his shoulders and made him look into his cerulean eyes.

“Loki” Thor said, releasing his shoulders to cup his face “I love you.”

Loki blinked but he didn’t speak.

“You are everything to me” Thor said, stroking Loki’s high cheekbones with his thumbs “more than everything. You are my life, my family, my heart and my soul. You are … you are what keeps me alive. And seeing you like this…”

Thor broke off and brushed Loki’s hair back, swallowing “Seeing you like this is torture for me. I cannot last without you; not one moment. So please…”

He put a hand behind Loki’s neck and held his hand with the other.

“If not for yourself” Thor whispered “at least eat for me. So that I can … so that I can live”

Loki’s lip quivered and for a moment, Thor thought he was going to start crying again.

But then Loki did something Thor didn’t expect; he smiled.

In the midst of his grief so terrible and an agony beyond understanding, Loki managed to gain enough strength to give him the smallest curve of his lips, just for a moment. It was so quick Thor would have missed it had be blinked.

But Thor stared and a moment later, he leaned forward and placed his lips upon Loki’s in a kiss that promised more than Thor’s words ever could.

***

“Thor?”

Looking up from the sword he had been polishing, Thor smiled when he saw Loki climb down the stairs, Hela balanced on his shoulder.

In his hands, was a locket that was carved with prayers and runes Thor himself had chosen for him.

There was a slight confusion in those emerald eyes as Loki approached and showed it to Thor.

“I found this under my pillow” Loki raised slightly swollen and reddened eyes to Thor’s “What … Did you put it there?”

Thor grinned and stood, coming to take it from Loki and giving the pendant a mockingly suspicious glance.

“Nay, Beloved” he frowned, turning it over in his hands “I have done no such thing”

Loki scoffed and hit his chest; a habit he’d picked up recently whenever he was irritated. It had started three days ago, when Loki had managed to break through his grief long enough to have Thor bring him back.

“Tell me”

Thor looked at him and smiled “Yes. I had it made for you. Turn around”

Loki promptly turned and presented Thor with Hela.

She meowed loudly at him.

Thor gave the cat a glare “Not for you, Hela” 

He patted her bottom and made her jump off Loki’s shoulders before laughing when she smacked on the ground.

“Thor!” Loki cried out indignantly and bent to lift her to his chest “So sorry, my darling”

Hela gave him an exaggerated, painful meow and gave Thor a good glare, making the Crowned Prince laugh.

“Please” Thor scoffed “he loves me more”

Hela hissed

“Not at the moment, I don’t” Loki said, winking at the cat before placing her on the ground and presenting Thor with his back again.

Thor smiled and gently placed the band around his neck, clasping it securely. Then, when Loki didn’t turn, he gave into the impulse and slapped his bottom.

Loki yelped and spun around, giving him a glare.

“Thor!” he said, going red in the face.

Chuckling, Thor pulled his arms around his love and pursed his lips for a kiss.

Loki slit his eyes and shook his head but leaned forward and bestowed upon Thor the shortest kiss in the history of affectionate gestures.

Thor’s mouth turned down and Loki couldn’t resist his grin. 

He obliged, sniggering when Thor smiled against his mouth, then yelping when he was lifted off the ground, spun around before Thor landed them both on the couch, levering himself over Loki as he looked down at him.

“You’ve been weeping” Thor said softly.

Loki lowered his lids and nodded.

“He was my brother, Thor”

Thor kissed his forehead before he looked at him again “You don’t have to justify it, Beloved, I understand”

“Truly?” Loki asked, looking at him “You are not saying that just to ease me?”

Thor shook his head “No, I may have had my differences with him but I do not rejoice upon his death. I owed him not just my life, I owed him everything”

Loki furrowed his brow at that.

“He gave me you, Loki” Thor said, honestly “and you are more than my life. So yes, I have an unimaginable debt to that Jotun and had things been different, I would have thanked him everyday”

Loki felt his eyes prickle again and he bit his lips. Thor’s beautiful words and a reminder of his brother’s death came over him again.

“I speak the truth” Thor wiped a tear as it slid down Loki’s cheek “and I pray for him”

“Thor…” Loki choked

Thor smiled and reached down to kiss his cheek again “I love you, Loki”

Loki put his arms around Thor’s shoulders and pulled him close so he could kiss him.

He pulled back a few moments later to look into his eyes and smile softly.

“I love you, Thor”

Thor smiled, leaned down and kissed him again.

It was slower, this time, more sensual and Loki lifted his chest, arching himself into Thor as he kissed, opening his mouth under him as he realized he’d missed this.

He’d missed this _need_ that coursed through him, he missed _Thor_ on him, inside him, kissing him.

A wanton moan escaped Loki’s lips and Thor shuddered, looking down at him with blown eyes, only the slightest rim of blue around an otherwise black circle.

“Loki…”

He didn’t dare move, not until Loki allowed it, not until Loki said he needed him.

“Thor” Loki panted softly, lifting his hips to grind against Thor.

He _needed_ him, with a desperation as wild as it was sudden.

He wanted, he craved, he _needed_.

“Thor…”

A growl erupted  from Thor’s throat a moment before he lowered his head and caught Loki’s mouth under his in a feral, passionate kiss.

***

They couldn’t get to their bed fast enough.

Now words were shared.

And it was almost _wild_ this time.

Thor all but carried Loki there, the younger man sniggering, and threw him on the bedding, pinning him there, taking his mouth beneath his own, kissing him with a passion unreserved.

When Thor nipped down his neck, Loki tipped it back, allowing him more access, gasping when Thor obliged.

“You …”

Thor kissed him again, ran his tongue into his mouth and licked the insides, making Loki moan softly and pull him closer, so close that he had to tip his head back to kiss him as Thor all but lifted Loki off the bed in his bid to press them both closer together.

It was love and lust and desire too long suppressed and Loki opened his mouth wider, letting Thor take whatever he wanted. They slotted their mouths firmly together, kissing, moaning, licking and tasting each other.

But alas, even lovers needed to breathe.

Loki gasped when Thor lifted his head, his eyes burning as they gazed at him.

He licked his red, swollen lips, opening his mouth to speak but Thor kissed him again, snaking his hands under his chest and cupping the back of his neck to pull him even closer, letting him take Thor’s warmth.

Loki moaned and his hands raked Thor’s scalp, making him groan into the kiss before he pulled back again, to look at him.

Loki’s mouth was red and swollen, his cheeks flushed in pleasure and he was panting softly.

“Beautiful” Thor said in wonder “You’re beautiful, Beloved”

Loki blushed deeper under the compliment before fisting a hand in Thor’s tunic and pulling him close, craning his neck to kiss him.

Thor wasted no time in undressing them… and looking for something to prepare Loki with.

Loki propped himself on his elbows to watch as Thor went about, opening and closing drawers, throwing clothes everywhere before he found what he was looking for.

He tossed the vial on the bed and it bounced beside Loki.

By the time it settled, Thor had pulled off his tunic and Loki could clearly see the heavy muscles moving beneath the thick fabric.

“I’ll make you forget everything, Beloved” Thor said as he stepped out of his trousers and pulled his shirt off.

He came to lean over Loki, one hand on either side of him “Everything other than what my touch does to you”

Loki found himself swallowing loudly and looking into the promise in those eyes. He squirmed a little as

Thor inched forward, eyes on his lips.

“I won’t hurt you”

Thor leaned forward and kissed Loki, resting his weight on one hand, he used the other to cradle Loki’s cheek before sliding it down to the front of his trousers.

Loki’s eyes were fire now, glittering with passion and excitement “Thor…”

Thor’s hand stopped where it was before he looked into Loki’s eyes. Then he smiled and kissed him, passion unbridled.

Loki found himself flat on the bed and he couldn’t stop the sharp yelp he gave as THor pulled his pants right off, boots not even a hindrance to his strength as they lay in a combined heap on the floor.

Thor took Loki from under his arms and lifted him higher on the bed before looking down at him and smiling.

“Stay” he poked his chest.

Loki propped himself on his elbows to see Thor reach for the vial to prepare him.

“No” he extended a hand “I want you to take me without that”

Thor stared “Loki, it will really hurt, are you sure you…”

“Yes” Loki told him, shrugging out of his remaining clothes and tossing them aside “please, I need to feel you”

Thor looked extremely dubious.

Loki’s hand reached out to tug at his wrist “Please, Thor”

Thor nodded and lubricated himself generously as Loki watched. Then his green eyes went wide as

Thor’s hands came about his waist, making him shudder, and flipped him on his stomach.

“What…?”

Thor kissed his shoulder “Let me have this”

His large hands skated down Loki’s arms and rested on top of his slender hands where he locked their fingers together.

He kissed the back of Loki’s neck and nudged his legs apart with his knee.

Loki’s breathing was heavy and he moaned as Thor positioned him, bending his knees and making him kneel as he moved behind him.

Thor returned his hands to Loki’s and the other felt the pressure as Thor eased into him.

This way, without preparation, Loki felt himself being stretched open. He lowered his head to his forearms and moaned as Thor pushed forward, impaling him on his length. Thor made a guttural noise and moved inside the solid little muscle.

“Are…you…?”

“Yes” Loki keened, clawing at the sheets in pleasure.

Loki was _burning_ now and Thor’s added heat was making him groan louder as he tried adjusting to the stretch between his legs.

Thor didn’t give him time to adjust. He was possessed by his desire and something had broken loose in him the moment Loki responded. At first, he thrust slowly, relentlessly like a wave upon the shore, pulling Loki back, moving his hips forward so his thighs came flush with Loki’s at the end of each lengthy stroke. 

Loki’s arms were trembling and his own arousal quickening as he held himself up, moaning softly as Thor pumped into him, moving him to the point of pain before pleasure hit and made him moan a little louder. The feeling of Thor inside him was so intimate and beautiful, it was like music. Loki was _burning_ inside, an inferno inside him that made his pale form glisten with sweat. Thor moved in and out of him, dragging him back and forth with each thrust, moving the bed along with them.

Then, Thor increased his pace without warning, matching the rhythm of his thrusts with their beating hearts and Loki’s arms gave out. He fell forward, hands clenched, fingers crushing Thor’s between them as he pulled at the furs, moaning loudly. His moans were broken and loud enough to be screams at this point. Thor sensed his need and yanked him back before moving even faster.

All Loki knew was of his pleasure now. Of how Thor was inside him, how he was so exposed, legs spread wide, back arched, body barely being held up until Thor released his hands to hold him up. He was inching towards his orgasm, he realized and he slipped a hand under him to his own need.

“Loki, no” Thor warned, breathless.

He took Loki’s hand away and pulled out before turning Loki over on his back. Loki was gasping with incoherent lust as Thor spread his legs wide. He felt the muscles of his pelvis and thighs stretch to and beyond the limit and it matched the burn inside him as Thor rammed in again.

His voice spurred Thor on and the man’s weight dug his length even deeper inside him, till he brushed a spot that made Loki keen.

As Loki screamed, he reached for himself, but Thor was already there, cupping him before he wrapped his fingers around and pumped him even as he thrust in him without pause.

Thor was at a loss for words and only groaned or growled like an animal as he pleasured Loki. He groaned in approval as Loki’s long legs wrapped around his waist and pulled him even deeper inside – just to touch that point again.

Loki screamed as he came. He threw his head back and shrieked so loudly the tendons in his arched neck stood out. He felt his body become numb and soon there was nothing else but the fact that he was submerged in deep pleasure. He saw nothing else, he heard nothing else because all thoughts concentrated on how utterly relaxed and carefree he was. He dimly became aware of his pearly seed on himself and Thor’s fingers. He was limp and moaned in happiness as Thor continued to thrust in him. He grinned and clenched around Thor.

Thor gave a loud bark of surprise before he became feral. He pushed himself deeper, burying himself to the base. Loki could feel his legs trembling and the feeling delighted him to no end.

He cried out as he shook violently, trying to get just a little deeper into Loki, push just a little bit further.

But then he gave a bellow and collapsed on top of Loki, falling in his waiting arms.

They panted loudly, gasping for air. It was like they had been running for miles and only just fallen because they couldn’t take it.

And Loki had really forgotten everything. Everything other than what Thor had promised. He panted, letting Thor rest atop him and cherished the feeling of the man he loved inside him.

***

When Loki squirmed under him Thor groaned and reluctantly slid off him, falling on his side so that Loki could breathe.

Loki lay on his back, content with being with Thor at the moment, content in letting the euphoria that settled on him in the aftermath of great sex take him over.

“That was _fantastic_!” Thor announced

Loki chuckled softly and placed a hand over his mouth, only registering the slight burn inside him because he hadn’t been prepared.

It wasn’t bad; just uncomfortable.

He didn’t know why he did it.

But he wasn’t going to regret it.

He loved Thor and he wanted to feel everything about him, feel him skin to skin in the most natural fashion.

Humming, Thor pulled closer and placed his head on Loki’s chest, practically vibrating in contentment. 

“Loki?” he hummed.

“Hmm?” Loki ran his fingers through Thor’s blonde hair, gently massaging his fingertips into his scalp because Thor liked it.

“Are you hungry?” 

“For what?” Loki hummed “You or food?”

Thor’s eyes widened in surprise before he gave a bark of laughter, loving this side of Loki immediately.

He lifted his head to look at his lover.

“Did you just flirt with me?”

Loki managed to keep his bold façade up for only one moment before he crumbled.

Thor laughed when Loki gave a groan and covered his face in his hands in embarrassment.

“I’m sorry!” Loki moaned

“No!” Thor laughed, trying to pry his hands away “Loki, I loved it!”

Loki groaned again, stubbornly keeping his face covered. He fell back when Thor released him and though he heard Thor snigger, he didn’t move.

He spread his fingers, though, so he could see Thor and smiled behind his hands when he saw Thor looking down at him, his eyes large and beautifully blue.

“Greetings, Beloved” Thor kissed the back of his hand where he assumed Loki’s mouth was “I missed you”

Loki hummed and hid again and Thor sighed, resting his head on Loki’s shoulder and pulling him close.

“Do you want to have lunch, Loki?” Thor asked “Mother and Father are in the dining hall with Balder. We can have it here if you want.”

Loki lay thinking for a moment before he moved his hands and placed one on Thor’s arm around his waist and the other started to play with Thor’s hair.

“We can go downstairs”

Thor stilled.

He hadn’t told Loki of the animosity against him, he hadn’t told him what Asgard wanted and he hadn’t told him why he had been kept in his rooms for the past week.

He didn’t want to hurt him. Loki had been wounded enough; he didn’t need this.

“Perhaps later” Thor said, kissing Loki’s skin “right now I wish to spend time here”

“We always spend time here” Loki said, humming when Thor kissed him “we haven’t left the room in so long. I wish to go to Idunn’s orchard”

Thor wanted Loki to stay here, inside where it was safe, but the request was so small and Loki asked for nothing.

“As you wish” Thor said, moving on him “but let me…”

Loki frowned “Let you what?”

Then he felt Thor mouthing at his neck and his eyes fluttered shut, a soft moan escaping his lips.

“Thor…”

Thor hummed against his skin and climbed further on top, kissing and sucking on his neck as Loki started to gasp and his hands came to rest upon his lover’s shoulders.

He panted as Thor moved higher on his neck, leaving a trail of blooming red on his white, white skin. He turned his head aside, eyes slowly opening as pleasure mounted on him, his hands raking nails down Thor’s back.

He was in the throes of passion when his eyes focused on something that made them go wide in horror.

There, on the balcony, stood a figure, hooded and menacing, watching them both as it peeked over the edge of the wall. A hand moved beneath the folds of the cloak and it left no mistake about what the man was doing as his eyes were fixed on Loki.

“ _Thor_!” Loki gasped in terror

Thor levered himself off and Loki scrambled to cover himself, pointing to where the figure stood.

Thor turned and paled as he saw a hooded shape slink away.

He yelled out, grabbed his trousers and donned them in record time before he ran out, looking for it.

But there was no one there. 

He was alone on the balcony.

He heard no footsteps, no breathe and no panting.

Nothing other than Loki’s frightened voice when he called him a few moments later.

He was shivering when Thor came back, his eyes fixed on the spot where their voyeur had been standing and he grabbed onto Thor, whimpering as he realized what he had be caught doing.

He didn’t realize he’d whimpered until Thor shushed him.

“Stop looking, Loki” Thor turned his head back gently, letting him bury it into his chest as he sat on his knees before Loki “It’s alright”

Loki’s nails dug into Thor’s biceps as his mortification broke over him.

He had been naked and exposed and he felt so desecrated that it was becoming a pain.

“Stop thinking about it” Thor kissed his head “I have you”

Loki bit his lip to keep from sobbing and let Thor rub his back as the golden prince thought of a way to distract Loki.

***

Balder had never been to a meal this tense.

And that included the feast with an Alfhiem king _after_ Thor had been caught with the princess within the confines of a broom closet, half naked and aroused as he sat on an over turned bucket while the princess straddled him.

Loki ate slowly, his hand shivering every now and then, his gaze fixed on his food. Beside him, Thor talked to Odin, gesturing and letting Loki hold his hand for a moment every few minutes.

He seemed oblivious to the tension of the people around them, of the nobles that glared at Loki, of the women that talked about him behind their fans.

He seemed not to notice how a few guards nodded their chins at the Jotun prince and how a few men leered at him, talking loud enough for Balder to hear them.

The First Prince felt his anger rise as a few words hit his ears and he longed to punch those men.

But their bond was already straining and doing anything like that would prove troublesome rather than do anything good for them.

Frigga seemed to sense the tension, too, because she kept giving Balder a few glances, trying to calm him with her gaze alone.

It worked and Balder no longer speared his roast.

Half an hour passed this way, as men and women talked on but Loki had Thor to talk to and now it seemed that the younger Odinson had initiated a game with Loki and Odin.

They were to guess the person Thor thought of and Balder kept glancing at them, until he realized he was curious, too.

“Is this person with us?” Frigga asked, leaning over to look at Thor when Odin accidentally blocked her view.

“Yes”

“Is he arrogant?” Odin asked

Thor thought about it “No”

“Is _he_ the only one who doesn’t think himself arrogant?” Balder asked.

Thor slit his gaze “No”

Loki grinned “Is he ‘not arrogant’ enough to think of himself in this game?”

Thor glared at him.

Frigga chuckled “Is he stubborn?”

“And childish?” Odin asked.

“Can he conjure storms when he has temper tantrums?” 

“Is he easily provoked?” Loki sniggered.

Balder was the first to notice Thor getting hurt. It wasn’t funny to him anymore.

“Uh…is he a great warrior?” he asked

“No” Thor snapped and suddenly stood “Excuse me”

Loki blinked in surprise when Thor just upped and left.

“Thor!” he called, oblivious to the looks he got.

But Thor didn’t even turn, not even when Odin called him and he left the dining hall amid dull rumbling outside.

Loki turned his gaze to his in-laws before he stood and excused himself, going after his husband.

“Thor, wait!”

Chuckles sounded as a few sadistic men and women laughed at the idea of Loki angering Thor.

Perhaps it would ease their own way to see Loki fall.

Outside in the hall, Loki found Thor striding a few yards away, his cape billowing behind him angrily.

“Thor!” Loki called, going after him “Thor, hold on!”

He jogged a little because Thor wasn’t stopping and grabbed his husband’s arm.

“Thor, what’s wrong?”

Loki gasped when Thor shook his arm off and kept walking, ignoring him. He stumbled a little before following him again.

“Thor please…” Loki said “We weren’t…”

“Is that what you really think?” Thor whirled around, making Loki stagger to an uncertain stop, his green eyes worried “that I am arrogant and childish?”

Loki’s mouth moved a few times before he answered “No! Thor, we were joking, we didn’t mean it”

“But that is what you think” Thor said, turning to walk off again.

“Thor, no” Loki followed him again, grabbing his arm and pulling “Thor, please…”

Thor came to a stop but he didn’t turn, so Loki walked forward to face him.

“Thor,” Loki looked into his face “it was a joke. But I’m sorry if it hurt you”

He straightened the front of Thor’s cape.

“And…” he said, blushing with every word “I’ll make it up to you if you want”

Thor’s eyebrows practically lifted off his head before he blinked and grinned.

He _was_ being stupid.

Thor sighed “I’m sorry. I should not have…”

Loki placed a finger over his lips “Stop talking”

A thrill went through Thor and he obeyed.

“Go apologize to your parents first” Loki said, then turned with a dramatic – and uncharacteristic - flare “then you may escort me to Idunn’s”

Thor shook his head, watching him go before he heaved a mighty sigh and turned back, going to apologize for his stupidity.

Loki knew he had gone back and went to down the hall, intending on waiting for his husband by the staircase that led into the gardens.

A group of heavily muscled, large men walked over from the other side, laughing and joking amongst each other, clearly back from the tarps.

They wore no shirts and Loki lowered his gaze to the ground as he passed them, his face a bright red.

How many times would he have to be subjected to this?

He felt his face heat up as the last of them passed them and he thanked the norns that they were gone.

A moment later, he felt a large hand slip between his legs from behind and squeeze his rear.

Loki gasped in horror and jumped, spinning around to stare open mouthed, at his assailant.

But whoever it was had been quick because all Loki saw was the bare backs of the men that left and heard a snigger that sounded horrible.

He backed away, a hand over his mouth and tears in his eyes, turning to run to his rooms instead.

He was shivering and ignored the people that stared at him when he all out ran back, sprinting so fast his tears vanished as they slid down his cheeks.

He slammed through the Royal Apartments and ran up the spiraling staircase, straight into the hall that led into his rooms.

He ignored the guards and galloped inside, closing the doors and locking them behind him before he leaned back against them and took a calming breath.

He could still feel it, still feel that hand on him and he shuddered in revulsion, shivering as he walked ahead, going past the small lobby and into the suite.

He didn’t see the man plastered on the wall beside him until it was too late.

Loki cried out when a hand grabbed his wrist.

He was manhandled and pinned against the wall a large hand coming over to rest on his mouth.

He stared and his green eyes widened in fear when he saw the stuff of nightmares smiling down at him.

“Greetings, Loki” Tyr smiled down at him.

Loki yelled behind his hand, bucking to throw him off and crying out when Tyr slammed him back and laughed.

“Loki, Loki …” Tyr chuckled, pressing his body to Loki’s to keep him in place “calm down, Prince, I just want to talk”

Loki whimpered, his eyes large and filled with frightened tears.

“Just talk, understand?” Tyr said sweetly “if you scream…”

Loki gasped, the found muffled behind Tyr’s hand, when he felt Tyr’s hook under his tunic. His chest heaved up and down rapidly and he nodded.

“Good” Tyr lowered the hand over Loki’s mouth and smiled at him “Where’s Helbindi?”

Loki stared at him, shivering violently “W-what?”

“Your brother” Tyr snapped, placing a hand beside Loki’s head “The one you _didn’t_ kill. Where is he?”

Loki flinched and cringed, then gasped when Tyr touched his hair “ I – I don’t know”

“Liar” Tyr said “you lied to me then and you are lying to me now, Loki”

He stroked Loki’s hair almost affectionately “You know, I can pound it out of you”

Loki gasped and a knock sounded on the door.

“Loki?” Idunn called “open the door, I have something for you!”

Loki stared at the wall, head averted as he listened to his friend. He whimpered when he felt Tyr’s hook raise his tunic.

“Please…” he gasped.

Tyr chuckled and placed his lips on Loki’s temple “I need an answer, Loki. I need the glory you denied me. Tell me where he is”

“I don’t know” Loki whispered, squeezing his eyes shut “I’m not lying, please, I don’t know…”

Tyr clicked his tongue “That’s too bad”

“Loki!” Idunn called

“C- coming!” Loki replied, his voice breaking.

“Hurry up!”

“You have three days” Tyr told him “I’ll return. I need his head, Loki, I really do”

“Loki!” Idunn called obnoxiously.

“Alright…” Loki whimpered, trying to push Tyr away “Alright, now please, leave me alone”

Tyr chuckled, kissed Loki’s cheek and pulled back, leaving him pressed against the wall.

When he didn’t hear a reply and when he dared to look, Tyr was gone and Loki was alone.

“Loki?” 

“I’m coming!” Loki called and ran over to let her in.

Idunn took one look at him and frowned “What’s wrong?”

Loki opened his mouth to speak and she raised a finger in warning.

“Don’t lie to me” 

She pushed past him and went in and Loki had no choice but to let her in and close the door.

***

Farbauti, once king and still one of the most feared, looked up and smiled when he saw a broken son enter.

“Well” he sneered “someone failed”

Byleistr growled at him and limped inside, wiping the blood off his forehead and stomping to the part of the cavern he had taken for himself.

“This is not over”

Farbauti scoffed and shook his head.

“Indeed it isn’t”


	20. Desperate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry it took so long! But I'm not feeling well.
> 
> Have a pic to make your day :D http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2013/248/8/7/the_kissssssssssss_by_satanssin-d6l3c5y.png

Loki heard the fanfare below and realized that Tyr’s presence in the castle had been announced with a celebration befitting the station of the warrior.

He repressed his shudder and turned away from the window, shivering as he tried _not_ to look at Idunn.

He’d just told her _everything_. 

About what Tyr did to him, about what he almost did. About what he threatened and what he wanted.

He was afraid of the man, he really was. He’d heard him being called Tyr the Giant Slayer back when he was at home and that brought on more memories.

So he’d told her about how his brother had treated her and told her about Farbauti. He told her about Helbindi and he showed her the note he’d been sent. He told her about his two friends, Jarnsaxa and Hrym and he told her about how he treated Amora and he told her about what he had done.

He had started to choke on his words and tears had filled his eyes.

Idunn said nothing, just sat opposite him, perched on the table as he took the chair and ran a hand over his head.

Then he’d laid his head on her lap and started to cry.

She’s rubbed his shoulders and started to hum to him, singing a song she’d sung to Balder and Thor when they were children.

It took some time, and Loki’s shoulders still shook as he took comfort from her, but in the end, he stopped weeping enough to blush in shame and wiped his eyes.

Then he’d excused himself and stood by the window to try and collect the pieces he’d broken himself into.

Idunn sat behind him, pouring him the juice she had gotten him and walking over to hand it to him every time he finished.

The jug was empty now and she made a face as she shook it a little.

“Well, it had to go” she smiled at him “you’re a good place as any for this juice to end up in”

Loki watched her uncertainly for a moment, thinking that maybe he had made a mistake telling her everything.

It had been hard for him and she was taking it so easily.

He swallowed and blinked his reddened eyes before he sniffed. He didn’t have a reply to that.

Idunn jumped down from her perch and walked over, the last of the juice held in her hand; barely half a goblet.

“Here” she held it out to him “finish this”

Loki nodded and took it from her slowly, putting it his lips and drinking it. when he was done, Idunn took it back from him, placed the glass on the table and turned back.

Loki was stunned when she simply put her arms around his chest and laid her head against him in an embrace.

“Trust me” she spoke from somewhere “you need this, Loki”

Loki blinked and a few seconds later, he started to feel – better.

His arms went around Idunn and he placed his cheek on her head, taking a deep breath to calm himself down and squeezing his eyes when he felt his tears start, Loki buried his face in her hair and let out a soft sigh when she started to rub his back soothingly.

“Loki” Idunn said “you need to talk to Thor about this”

Loki shook his head “I can’t”

“Why?” she didn’t lift her head from under his chin.

“He’ll…” Loki swallowed.

Idunn sighed and pulled back, looking up to him “You don’t have to be afraid of Tyr. He can’t harm you. You’re a prince and he’s a general. I think you outrank him”

Loki shook his head again and crossed his arms over his chest. Rank didn’t matter to men like Tyr. He would hurt Loki and hurt him _deeply_ if he told Thor. And Thor already had enough on his plate.

“Thor is already cleaning up my mess” Loki whispered, looking at the ground “I cannot burden him more”

“Then someone else” Idunn said, grasping his arm “someone who you can trust, Loki. there _has_ to be someone other than the royal family”

Loki lifted his gaze to hers.

“Or me” Idunn said, then her mouth tightened when Loki looked to someone else “Hela doesn’t even count, Loki!”

Hela meowed

“Shut up” Idunn snapped at the cat and pointed to Loki’s bed “Go upstairs, you stupid cat”

Hissing at Idunn, Hela lifted her tail high and trotted up the stairs, surprisingly doing what Idunn had asked her to do.

Idunn huffed at her, then turned to look at Loki again. A moment later, an idea popped into her head.

“I have it!” she grinned, grabbed Loki’s hand and ran, pulling his with startling strength.

“Idunn!” Loki said, stumbling after her “where are you taking me?”

She went to the door, pulled it open and ran out.

“To the one person I _know_ is capable of keeping discretion and helping you” Idunn said

Loki tried stopping every now and then but Idunn was stubborn and he let himself be dagged about, keeping his eyes out for any sign of the man that terrorized him.

But from what he knew, Tyr was still at his reception.

“Wait!” Idunn suddenly stopped, making Loki bump into her and apologize.

She turned and gave him a considering look “How did you scare Amora?”

Loki blinked and furrowed his brow “Uh…I created an illusion to appear Jotun. I am half blood, so I don’t have true Jotun color nor can I harm with my touch so… I don’t know, I just…lied”

Idunn hummed and cocked her hip, not releasing her hand “Impressive. I’ve always hated that bitch, so I’m glad to see someone gave her what she deserved”

Loki flushed in chagrin when Idunn cursed, then yelped when she started to run again, leading him down the halls towards the one person one person who could actually help him properly and have enough sense to keep his discretion afterwards.

He just hoped he wasn’t making a mistake.

***

She had been in there for a long time.

Loki tapped his foot, looking out of the window as she kept talking to _him_ of all people.

He didn’t know _what_ Idunn was saying, and since the door was closed, there was little he could do other than wait and bite his nail, one arm crossed over his chest. His eyes were focused on children as they played outside and he realized he hadn’t taken the potion Sigyn had given him.

He had hours, so he would do it right after this interview. This wasn’t something he was going to take lightly.

His foot tapped and he forced himself not to think about what he was doing, _who_ he was opening up to.

He tried not to think of how that man could possibly hate him and how he would come to regret letting Idunn push him into this.

He already had Tyr to be afraid of, he didn’t need another _lethal_ Aesir on his tail.

“Your Highness?”

Loki turned, mouth agape, at the healer behind him.

“He calls you”

Loki gulped and dropped his arms, presenting a picture of royalty as he walked in, head held high and back stiff.

He almost slumped when he saw Idunn sitting on an empty bed, cross-legged and happy, waving at him the moment she saw him.

Opposite her, setting things beck upon the shelves after treating a patient, Bragi gave him a look over his shoulder, golden eyes impassive.

“Majesty” he nodded in respect before he caught Idunn sitting on the bed and scowled “Get off”

“Why?” she asked

“Because I said so” Bragi told her “and leave us in privacy, Lady Idunn, if you please”

She made a face at him but jumped off her perch and walked to the door, smiling at Loki when he gave her a pleading glance.

“Oh don’t worry, he won’t bite” Idunn said, rubbing his arm comfortingly “unfortunately”

“Idunn…”

“Leaving” she winked at Loki’s blushing face “and they call him a gentleman”

Loki couldn’t help but look after her when she left, closing the door and leaving him alone with Bragi.

“Sit”

Loki flinched, turning to the man before him and swallowed at the command. He hesitated a little before licking his dry lips and walking forward, going to sit on the edge of the bed.

He didn’t speak, he wrung his hands nervously for a moment as he waited for Bragi to finish. When the clinking of bottles receded, Loki heard him move to get a chair, lift it in one large arm and bring it forward to face Loki. He sat with his hands clasped between his knees, his golden eyes fixed on Loki.

“Is it true?” Bragi asked simply “what Idunn told me, is it true, without exaggeration? Did Tyr really do that to you?”

Loki didn’t realize he was biting his lip until he felt the sting. He let it go and nodded, keeping his gaze firmly on the ground.

“Why didn’t you fight him?” Bragi asked

Loki shook his head “I can’t…”

Bragi scoffed “That’s a lie. You can do whatever you wish when you are motivated, Loki.”

“Not him” Loki said softly

“Why not?” Bragi asked “Why would you be willing to hand over your brother but not fight him?”

Loki swallowed, tears filling his eyes “I … you don’t understand”

Bragi shrugged “It doesn’t matter. Why won’t you fight him?”

Loki felt pressured. He wanted to leave. This was a terrible idea, it really was.

“Loki”

Loki looked at Bragi with shining eyes.

“Does he scare you?” the golden eyed warrior asked.

Loki lowered his eyes to the ground again and nodded slowly.

“I see” Bragi said “fear immobilized you?”

Loki took a deep, shuddering breath.

“Loki, you can’t let that happen” Bragi said “not just now, for this, but all your life. You can’t let fear take you over, boy, you need to fight it back for something more important”

“I don’t know how I can” Loki said.

Bragi’s mouth tightened and his eyes shone “I see”

Something about his tone made Loki look up. He gasped a moment later when Bragi was upon him.

They fell back on the bed, Loki trapped beneath Bragi as the elder straddled him.

“Bragi!” Loki cried in horror as the man pinned him on the bed and loomed over him.

His eyes were wide and terrified as Bragi held him down, looking at him, gaze burning.

“Fight me” Bragi said “fight me, or I will rape you right here, Loki”

Loki turned paper white and felt his heart ram in his throat his mouth parted on a soundless scream and he began to shudder in horror.

“No…”

Bragi scoffed “That will not stop me, boy, I’ll take you easily enough”

Loki screamed when Bragi grabbed both his arms and pinned them above his head and used the other to reach for the fastenings of Loki’s trousers.

“Bragi, no!” Loki screamed, thrashing under him, kicking and bucking “Get off!”

“Make me!” Bragi said, lowering his head “Or I’ll do this. I’ll mark every place on your body, all over your skin so that Thor can see them and _know_ you are the little slut that lets everyone have him”

“Stop it!” Loki pleaded, whimpering when he felt Bragi’s lips on his neck.

“Fight me, coward” Bragi whispered in his ear and Loki felt his hand skim his thigh “fight me if there is something more important to you than fear”

Bragi’s tongue licked his cheek.

“No!” Loki screamed and a second later, a blast of magic erupted from him.

Bragi was thrown off him, crashing into the shelves and toppling everything, the cabinet falling on him, shattering glass and vials on top of the large man, burying him in debris and glass and gauze.

Loki sat up, gasping and cringing, shrinking back against the bed, his breathing broken, tears in his eyes as he was flushed in humiliation.

He cried out when the debris moved and Bragi stood, brushing things off himself.

The golden eyed warrior looked at him and approached.

Loki whimpered and cringed from him, gasping and turning his head away when Bragi stood right before him.

Flinching when his hand was held in Bragi’s large palm, Loki squeezed his eyes shut. He gave a sharp whimper when Bragi gently grabbed his jaw and made him look into those golden eyes.

“And that” Bragi said “is only the start of what you are capable of”

Loki blinked, staring at him, shivering in the aftermath of what had happened “W-what?”

“You are a mage, Loki” Bragi told him “True, honorable and have the ability to surpass even Odin when it comes to magic. You _cannot_ let anyone control you.”

Loki swallowed, unable to speak.

“All that happened” Bragi said “is because you submitted to it. Don’t do that. Rise against it, rise because that is what you are meant to do, Loki. You are better than you think of yourself, far better and have potential that will stagger all of Asgard when they see it.”

Loki stared at him “I …”

“Let me mentor you” Bragi said “let me teach you what you can do and how to tell people where their place is”

“Tyr…”

“Is nothing” Bragi said “I will take care of this only _once_ , but you will be there with me, understand?”

Alarm lit Loki’s eyes.

“Understand?” Bragi asked more firmly.

Loki seemed uncertain, but he nodded.

“Good” Bragi stepped back and grimaced at the mess “now help me clean this up, there much more I wish to talk to you about”

Loki pulled his lips inwards, forced himself to stand and walk after Bragi, trying to control his shaking as they cleaned up the destroyed room.

It helped that Loki got bored in the middle and waved a hand, making everything right itself by magic.

It prompted Bragi to glare at him and ask why he hadn’t done it before.

Loki shrugged and walked out of the door, leaving Bragi to follow.

***

They went to the gardens where Loki had once run to and got himself hurt.

Bragi had a small lunch packed for them both and walked beside Loki, watching as the boy kept a wary distance from him and sighed.

He looked at the ground, but every now and then he would glance at Bragi and shiver, going pale as he recalled what had happened in the healing room.

“I’m sorry” Bragi said “for what I did and said. But you need to know that it is not only Tyr’s actions that you need to fight against, he will use words that disturb you, Loki”

Loki’s mouth tightened and he swallowed, rubbing a hand over his arm “I know”

“You need to stop being so intimidated by everything, boy, you need to stand strong”

“You think I do not know?” Loki asked softly, keeping his gaze on the ground before them “all my life I have tried and it never ended well. What makes you think it will end well now?”

“This is not Jotunhiem, Loki” Bragi said gently “You have a place with Thor here. You will be a king in a few years. You need to show _them_ , show everyone and make a statement against them. Make an example of those that dare to slur you. _No one_ has the right to do what Tyr has done.”

“He did”

“Then make him pay” Bragi said “What you have been through, Loki, it should make you stronger. It should make you do what you did to Amora and when you rescued us. Or do we need to endanger Thor again for that to happen?”

Loki looked at him in unease.

Bragi raised a hand “Relax, I won’t harm Thor.”

Loki sighed in relief.

“But that” Bragi pointed to him “that instinct to protect, it needs to be harnessed and honed into a proper weapon”

They came through, into the gardens and looked around for a cool spot to sit in. Loki pointed to a place farthest, under the trees and Bragi nodded, walking forward to prepare while Loki admired everything around him.

Asgard was beautiful – he truly loved her.

He just wished the sentiment would be returned.

He saw a butterfly and raised a hand, making it glow before a flower settled on his palm. He grinned when the butterfly, carefully manipulated by his own magic, came to sit on the flower.

He watched the little creature extend its straw and touch the flower, looking for what it needed.

“Are you going to make a comparison between the butterfly and life?” Bragi asked

Loki gave him a dry glare.

Bragi smirked “Just a jest. Come along, Butterfly Whisperer and help me set up. Don’t expect me to be as nice to you as Thor is”

Loki made a face and let the flower vanish, making the butterfly fly off into the skies.

“I didn’t think you would” Loki said, walking over “You need actual manners to be like Thor”

Bragi stared at him, a smirk forming on his lips “Oh ho! Thor and manners? My Prince, I think you are gravely mistaken! For Thor eats like a bilgesnipe. An angry bilgesnipe”

Loki smiled and lifted the blanket they wanted to use and handed one corner to Bragi, setting it down.

“Then you should know I can handle angry bilgesnipes easily” Loki said

“Ha!” Bragi cried in fake mocking “I do not believe it for I did not see it!”

Loki inclined this jaw “Well, then you missed a great show”

“A pity, then” Bragi set the basket on the cloth “but forgive me, I was trying to keep my head where it belongs upon my shoulders”

Loki smiled and shook his head, coming to sit on the basket and peek in. He made a face at almost everything before deciding on an apple, taking a bite.

His green eyes widened almost instantly “Idunn let you have this?”

Bragi scoffed “Who so you think packed the lunch?”

Loki smirked and crossed his arms over his knees. His eyes watched the expanse before him as he munched on his apple, thinking about what Bragi had said.

True, he needed to stand up for himself, but he had never done it before. All attempts for him to grow a backbone hadn’t ended well and he was terrified this time.

At the very least, Byleistr didn’t hit him. He gave ghastly threats but he never carried them out. He called him names but he kept him from true violence. Loki had never seen blood until he was captured by Tyr and forced into the camps. Byleistr may have treated him badly, but he never really hurt him, not until that night, when Loki lost _everything_ of his family. Nothing remained other than pain and sorrow and guilt and deceit.

Something of his thoughts must have shown in his face because Bragi looked at him and sighed.

He lowered his violently golden eyes to the grass before he looked up with a resolve hardened. He reached into the basket and pulled out another apple, biting into it with a loud crunch and chewing a for a little while before looking ahead, then back at Loki.

The boy had his gaze lowered and unfocused. He was lost in the past, lost in his actions as he recalled what he had done. His eyes began to shine with tears and his lip quivered as guilt overtook him.

And that, more than anything, helped Bragi speak with the slightest shake in his voice.

“Loki, do you know what happened to my family?”

Loki blinked and looked at him, frowning. He thought for a moment before he nodded.

“Aye, you said they left you”

Bragi looked at him right in the eye and smiled sadly “I lied”

Loki’s eyes widened slightly.

“They didn’t leave me” Bragi looked ahead, at the farthest tree “they were murdered”

Loki felt the color drain from his face, his mouth falling open.

“My wife and I” Bragi smirked “My wife, Norns, she was beautiful, Loki. Red hair, blue eyes, a voice that shamed nightingales… her name was Diana; it means purity. And, oh, pure she was. Her idea of the perfect outing was any place where we would get to hold hands for as long as we want”

Bragi lowered his head in grief “She was perfect”

Loki watched him carefully, not speaking.

“One night” Bragi said “there was a fire. I didn’t live in the palace, I lived on the outskirts and our village was often terrorized by villains that sought to pillage and plunder. I was the Captain of the Guard there and I made sure they didn’t harm us or our neighboring villages, I took over the duty, so when the fire erupted in the stables, I was the first to go there.”

Bragi swallowed loudly “The flames were so hot no one was going in to save the horses, so I ran. I had a pitchfork and I went in, trying to see what happened. I let them out and by the time I was away from the smoke, I saw …”

Loki tensed

“I saw my house lit up in flames”

Loki gasped and fisted a hand unconsciously.

“I forgot everything and I went to save Diana, to save my baby girl” Bragi said, the first tears rolling down his cheek “Adara, we named her; beautiful.”

Loki placed a hand on Bragi’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

“They weren’t there” Bragi said, reaching over to grasp Loki’s hand before letting go “and for _just_ a moment, I thought they had gotten away.”

He shook his head “I wasn’t that lucky”

“Bragi…”

“As I was leaving the inferno, I saw her” Bragi said “Diana. Hung outside, right on the tree outside my door”

Loki placed a hand over his mouth, tears in his green eyes.

“Adara wasn’t there” Bragi said “I remember … I remember falling on my knees and I remember screaming. I screamed for so long I could feel blood in my throat as I stared at her, my wife, my beautiful Diana, just … gone. Taken from me because I stopped a few paltry things from being stolen.”

Loki shook a shuddering breath and looked away.

“Perhaps it was my voice” Bragi frowned, a few more tears fell from his molten gaze “but for some reason, I heard her. Adara was crying, shrilly screaming for me and I ran. I had no weapon, but I ran to her voice and there … I saw _them_ ”

Loki looked back, shivering.

“The three men that had my daughter with them” Bragi rasped “I remember screaming at them and running towards my daughter and …” he took a deep breath “I heard _it_ ”

Loki stilled.

“In their bid to escape, those bastards had run into bilgesnipe territory” Bragi explained, looking at Loki “they were far ahead and it had seen them, running towards them to throw them off its land, it charged. It looked at me for a moment, only and in that moment …”

Bragi shook his head “I froze”

Loki’s eyes widened.

“My daughter’s life was on the line and I froze in my fear in the face of an angry animal” Bragi said, shaking his head “it killed them - all of them. Even my little Adara”

Loki let loose a sob.

“I didn’t get a chance to bury my child” Bragi said “because nothing remained of her” Bragi felt his heart shatter all over again “I have never felt so much self loathing as I did that night. I had to bury an empty casket next to my wife because I couldn’t get over my fear. I let my fear control me and I lost everything.”

A terrible silence fell, following that story and Loki watched Bragi, watched the emotions cross his normally impassive face and he knew, in that moment of grief and tragedy combined, that Bragi had told him this not only as a truth, but as a way to let Loki know he understood him.

Bragi had lost everyone, just like Loki. But he had no one to turn to like Loki had.

It made Loki feel – blessed. And though his grief for his brother still remained, it was somewhat dulled now, and Loki realized it was because of Thor and his new family, the one he had refused to acknowledge before now.

Loki bit his lips and slowly edged closer, closer till both his arms could go around Bragi.

The warrior swallowed loudly and tried to resist, but Loki’s head rested on his shoulder and he broke.

For the first time in ten years, Bragi allowed himself to cry for that night again.

***

Loki allowed Bragi to mentor him.

It was in his best interests, anyway. He should have known that the man would be a harsh master.

“Harder!” Bragi ordered, hands held out for Loki to punch “Come on, Loki, you have more than that, put your magic into it”

Loki, dressed in a sleeveless tunic, bounced on the balls on his feet, his hair clinging to his head as he sweat, clothes plastered to his body as he was trained. His eyes were fixed on Bragi’s bandaged hands as he was instructed to punch, or kick his bandaged ankles, as Bragi ordered.

“Hand, hand” Bragi said, easily taking the hit Loki threw into his palm “kick, hand, kick, kick”

Loki obeyed in that exact order and sent energy of magic to his foot as he swung in an arc, right for Bragi’s ankle.

It took his foot out from under him and Bragi fell. He braced himself on his hands and lifted his leg, swinging them to kick both of Loki’s feet out from under him, making him fall on his rear with a yelp.

They stopped, lay there panting as the cloud of dust that rose from Loki’s fall faded. It rose like gold dust in the setting sun of the afternoon and faded away with their breathing.

As they caught their breath, Loki laughed breathlessly “I think … I can’t move”

Bragi smirked “Please, I was going … gentle … with you, frail one” 

Loki wanted to retort, but at the moment, the doors to the training rooms opened and Thor walked in, a frown on his face.

“Thor!” Loki panted, grinning and raising a hand high “Greetings, husband”

Thor’s eyebrows rose and he walked over, a smile forming on his face “What are you doing here? I was looking all over for you when …”

He broke off, stumbling uncertainly when he saw who Loki was with.

“Bragi”

“Thor” Bragi nodded and sat up, lithely standing up and offering Loki a hand “How have you been?”

“Well, I …” Thor frowned “What’s going on?”

“Training” Loki smiled at him, bouncing on his feet again “Bragi agreed to mentor me”

“Mentor you?” Thor was surprised “Loki, why do you need a mentor?”

Loki shrugged “No reason”

He jogged over to Thor and punched his arm lightly “Come along”

Thor blinked when Loki leaned over to whisper in his ear “I need a bath”

Desire surged within Thor and he forgot the unease he felt at the idea of Loki being in constant presence of someone who had harmed Balder so.

He grinned at Loki “If…”

“Catch me and you may join me” Loki offered before he sprinted ahead.

“Loki!” Thor laughed, following him “That’s cheating!”

Bragi watched them run, watched Loki sprint like a gazelle and watched Thor chase him like a lion. He shook his head and started to collect things he would need to clean up after himself and Loki.

***

Loki looked at his reflection in the mirror, realizing his husband was going to take _forever_ in the bath, and went to his wardrobe.

He pulled open a small drawer in the back and took out the vial of golden fluid given to him. He uncorked it and sniffed, made a face at the stench before lifting it to his lips and taking a small swig.

He ran it over his tongue for a few moments to taste it before he shrugged, corked it and put it back.

He remembered Sigyn’s instructions about taking it with seventy two hours of … coupling. And he remembered the amount, so he was somewhat eased.

He still looked at his belly, though and ran a hand over it, feeling the flatness beneath his palm and sighing.

He was … content.

Walking back to the bathroom door, he knocked a few times, waiting for Thor to answer.

“What?” Thor called out 

“Hurry up” Loki said “we shall miss the feast if you preen this long”

“Go on ahead” Thor said “I shall meet you there”

“Are you sure?”

“Aye” Thor said  

Shrugging, and freshly washed, Loki walked out, clicking his tongue at Hela as he passed. The doors closed behind him and Loki bowed back to the guards before whistling softly and heading down the spiral staircase and out of the Royal Apartments.

Because the day had been lovely, the evening cool and breezy, Odin had ordered the dinner feast to take place in the gardens. It was a fine idea and now tents had been raised, lanterns lit and tables set outside, chairs and benches placed beside them.

From the kitchens, the maids and lads brought forth their foods and Loki could smell it even here, at the other end as he walked forward.

The path he walked was lined by flowers, so he was watching them and not really seeing who was walking in front.

And he didn’t notice who was hiding in the trees, waiting for him.

Loki gasped when a hand hooked around his arm and dragged him into the bunched trees, slamming him back against the nearest and placing a hand over his mouth.

“Prince” Tyr smiled at him “how have you been?”

Loki felt the fear inside rise within him and he started to shiver. 

The lust in this man’s eyes was clear as day and Loki couldn’t help but be intimidated.

Tyr scoffed and pulled back his hand.

“So” he sneered “have you my answer?”

Bragi’s words ran through his head, firming his resolve.

Tyr needed to learn his place.

Loki swallowed and shook his head “No”

Tyr gave him a surprised look “What? I’m sorry, I thought…”

“I said no” Loki’s voice quivered, but he went on “I won’t do as you say and you won’t touch me again.”

“Oh?” Tyr grinned “Really?”

“Aye” Loki managed a decent glare “I outrank you and if you come anywhere near me, I shall see you punished”

Tyr deliberately raised his hook and raked the tip across Loki’s cheek.

“Is that so?” he grinned “What are you going to do to me?”

Loki turned his head aside when Tyr leaned forward and he felt his hook trail lower, till it was at his collarbone.

When he felt him lower his collar and felt his breath on him, Loki shuddered.

“Get off!” he shoved Tyr off him violently, making the man stumble back.

A sharp clink followed and Loki felt a tug around his neck before he realized what happened.

His hand went to his throat, then his horrified eyes went to Tyr’s hook where his father’s pendant and Thor’s prayers hung, wrapped around the metal.

He paled when he saw Tyr take in his expression and sneer.

“Give them back”

Tyr snickered and looked at the treasure “These?”

He took them from his hook and held them in his hand.

“No, I think I will hold on to them for some time” Tyr grinned at him as he pocketed them “You seem rather fond of them”

“Please” Loki said “please, they are important to me”

“I know” Tyr laughed and spread his hands “I can hear the pathetic pleading in your voice that just tickles me so.”

Tyr laughed and invited Loki forward “You’re welcome to try and take them, though”

Loki hesitated, raising his tormented eyes to Tyr’s face “You…”

“What’s going on here?”

Loki almost sagged in relief when he heard Thor approach and turned to his husband.

“Thor!”

Thor rushed forward, a frown in his face as he took in Loki’s stricken face and Tyr standing before him.

“What’s wrong?”

“He took my pendant and the prayers you gave me” Loki said “he pocketed them and he won’t return them”

Thor frowned in surprise, then scowled at Tyr “What?”

“Majesty” Tyr bowed low “I did no such thing. Perhaps his highness is tired?”

“He’s lying” Loki said, stepping forward and glaring at Tyr “You’ve been tormenting me ever since you got back and I have had enough! Give them back!”

“Loki…” Thor frowned “What are you talking about?”

“He torments me” Loki told Thor “since he came back, he … touched me and…”

Thor paled in anger before looking at Loki’s rumpled clothes and growling. He turned his furious face to the man and advanced on Tyr. 

“You sick…”

“Prince Thor!” Tyr stepped back “I have done no such thing, he…”

“I swear, to you” Thor advanced “if I find his words, true, I shall rip you apart with my bare hands!”

“If he speaks the truth” Tyr said, scowling at Thor “I have been nothing but loyal to you and your family…”

“He demands I tell him where Helbindi is so that he may have his head” Loki snarled “he wants glory, nothing else, now give me back my belongings!”

“Thor, he’s getting hysterical” Tyr said

“Where are they?” Thor asked as he approached Tyr

“Feel free to search me, Highness” Tyr said “but if I do not have them, then know that I am not lying… he is”

Loki glared at Tyr, fisting his hands when the man winked at him as Thor patted his form to look.

Thor checked Tyr’s tunic, his pockets, his trousers pockets and even asked Tyr to shake down his sleeves, but there was no sign of Loki’s belongings.

Loki stared when Thor turned to him with nothing.

“He has them, Thor, he…”

“Perhaps” Tyr smiled condescendingly at Loki “if you checked your neck, you will find what you are looking for?”

Frowning, Loki reached to touch his throat automatically.

He paled when he found both the prayers _and_ the pendant right there. His mouth fell open and Thor walked over to him, frowning.

The god of Thunder reached over and slipped a finger under the laces, tugging to see for signs of breakage.

When there were none, he lifted his gaze to Loki’s.

Loki shook his head “Thor, I’m not lying, I …”

“Forgive me” Thor said over his shoulder, to Tyr “Loki seems to have made a mistake”

Loki gaped at him “Thor, no. I am…”

He broke off when Thor turned him and shut his mouth.

“No forgiveness necessary” Tyr said magnanimously from behind him “his Majesty was confused. A common state for someone so young”

Loki felt his heart pound in his chest as he stared at Tyr.

“But know that I have never nor will I ever touch Loki” Tyr said “I am not that dishonorable”

Loki gaped at him, shaking his head when the general left and Thor turned back to him.

“Thor, I’m not lying, I swear I’m not”

Thor looked at him and his mouth tightened.

“He was there, in our chambers a few days ago, please you have to believe me, Thor” Loki grabbed Thor’s arms in pleading.

The thunder god sighed and raised a hand to massage his eyes.

“Fine” Thor said “I believe you. What do you wish me to do? Have him exiled?”

“No” Loki said, “You don’t have to do anything, I can handle him myself, Bragi was…”

“Bragi?” Thor frowned “what does he have to do with this?”

“He’s training me, Thor” Loki said, trying to explain “to stand up to him and…”

“And what?” Thor asked “fight? Loki, you don’t have a violent bone in your body”

“I can learn” 

Thor exhaled again, feeling a headache take him over “Loki, can we just… wait until after dinner?”

Loki looked hurt, he thought Thor didn’t believe him and thought him stupid or maidenly. The look on his face was heartbreaking and Thor couldn’t take it.

“I promise, I will look into this” Thor said, grasping Loki’s shoulders “if he took your pendant and the prayers, then managed to place them back, it means he knows magic and _that_ is something I did not know. I ask all my warriors and all those under me to tell me _everything_ about their skills, so if he has one that I do not know about, that borders on disobedience and that is enough for me to condemn him”

Loki blinked

Thor smirked and tipped his chin up “ _Never_ look at me the way you did just now. I didn’t know what was going on, Loki, it broke atop my head. I’ll support you in everything, Beloved, just … give me a warning next time”

Loki felt his mouth twitch and some of the tension within him wan “A warning?”

“Aye” Thor smiled “A gesture”

Loki smiled and reached over to tug on Thor’s tunic “What kind of gesture?”

Thor shrugged “I don’t know. Whistle or wink … or perhaps you could pass some royal gas”

“Thor!” Loki shoved him away, blushing brightly “You’re disgusting!”

“Oh come on!” Thor laughed, following Loki when the other stomped away “It’s not like you don’t do it when you are sleeping!”

“Get away from me!” Loki ordered over his shoulder, running when Thor continued to follow him and laughing when Thor chased him.

“Loki!” Thor called “It’s okay, everyone does it! You should have heard the bellow Balder’s behind gave a few days ago”

“Get lost!”

Loki ran faster and Thor chased him, running through the night and flowers, laughing and cursing and smiling as they forgot whatever was wrong between them.

It was rather pathetic, Tyr thought as he watched from the shadows, that Thor displayed his weakness so openly.

His mouth snarled as he watched Loki run and turned to the man next to him, hooded and dark.

“We need a new plan, friend” Tyr said “that boy is becoming more of a problem than I expected”

“Aye” the figure said “what would you have me do?”

“Go to Amora” Tyr said, eyes fixed on Loki as he finally allowed Thor to catch him and kiss him before escorting him to the tent where the feast was taking place “tell her we can get her Thor back if she gives us more magic”

The figure chuckled “Aye. Anything else?”

“Pigs” Tyr said “slaughter a few pigs and send Daregate to me. Tell him I have a plan to give him a little justice, if he so wishes it”

The hooded figure smiled, teeth so blindly white they flashed even in the dark, clearly amused at Tyr’s planning.

Byleistr’s teeth flashed even in the night when he heard Tyr’s plan. His Aesir disguise showing only barely under the moonlight as he scoffed at the man beside him.

Tyr had always been a fool when it came to power and glory.

Byleistr couldn’t wait to get rid of him. 

*** 

Loki smiled when Thor came over to lay opposite him.

His golden hair glimmered as he swung over, almost falling beside Loki in an attempt to upend him. His blue eyes gleamed and in that moment, Loki could truly believe that he loved him.

Loki raised a hand and began to trace Thor’s jaw with his finger, feeling the rough whiskers against his fingertip.

Thor chuckled and Loki looked up.

“What?”

Thor grinned “I was just imagining you with a beard and failed. You would look scraggly and rough, so it made me laugh”

Loki gave him a half hearted glare “Are you making fun of me?”

“Maybe” Thor lifted a hand to use his knuckles to stroke Loki’s cheek “maybe I am just appreciating how smooth your skin is. Do you even shave?”

Loki glowered “Of course I shave. I do it every morning”

“I’ve never seen you”

“That’s because I lock the door” Loki said “I could stop, if you want. I could grow a huge beard, then when you kiss me you would think it’s Volstagg”

“Valhalla forbid!” Thor laughed, placing a hand over his heart “such thoughts shake my very heart!”

Loki sniggered at him, then slapped his shoulder when Thor lay flat on the bed, eyes closed.

“Thor? What are you doing?” he asked as he levered himself on one elbow to look into Thor’s face.

“You killed me with that thought, Prince, I hope you are proud”

Loki chuckled and hummed, laying his head on Thor’s shoulder. His thumb started tracing patterns on Thor’s stomach as he thought.

“Thor?”

“Hmm?”

Loki looked at the wall ahead of him “I wasn’t lying tonight. Tyr’s behavior towards me has been ghastly. Even back at the camp … when he caught me…”

Thor frowned and sat up when Loki broke off. The younger also sat, looking at the bed as he failed to speak.

“Loki, what’s wrong?”

“I was sleeping when he came upon me” Loki whispered “he pinned me down and c-climbed on me. He would have…”

Thor paled when Loki’s voice trailed off.

“Fandral saved me then” Loki said “then he came back once you were asleep at the camp, when I ran, he ordered the men to brand me, using your name. Balder saved me then. And now, the latest when Idunn walked upon us and stopped him.”

Thor was watching him carefully, listening to things Loki had kept from him.

“It’s only a matter of time before he tries again, Thor” Loki said “and I cannot live with the _fear_ of when it will happen. He might have won wars for you and he might be a wonderful warrior, celebrated and brave, but he is a terrible man and I hate him. He wants nothing but glory and he wants me to hand my brother over to him on a platter. And the fact I have no _proof_ is …”

Loki broke off, running a hand through his hair.

“I hate him” he said “I hate him and I fear him at the same time. I cannot _be_ in the same room without looking at him and waiting for him to do something, Thor, I can’t!”

“Loki, easy” Thor put his arms around Loki and hugged him to his chest “calm down, Beloved, I won’t let him touch you”

“What will you do?” Loki asked, breathing deeply “his rank…”

“Will be nothing when I confront him” Thor said, kissing Loki’s head “he will lose his other hand if he dares to bully you again”

“I don’t need you to fight for me, Thor” Loki muttered “they already think me weak”

Thor furrowed his brow but said nothing.

“It’s my word against his” Loki said, shaking his head “no one will believe the Jotun”

“Hush” Thor kissed his head again “That’s enough, darling. Just … avoid him. And I will have a word with him”

Loki made to say something but Thor silenced him.

“I said, enough” 

Thor pulled Loki down as he lay back on the bed.

“Forget him” Thor said “talk about something else”

“Like what?” Loki asked “my beard?”

Thor laughed loudly “Maybe, if that is up for discussion. Perhaps you could keep a single line down your chin, or a moustache that connects into a thin goatee”

“A what?” Loki frowned, looking at him “Goat – what?”

“Goatee” Thor said, using his fingers to demonstrate “like this”

“I don’t want anything remotely goat-like about me” Loki announced and rested his head on Thor again.

“What about like mine?” Thor suggested.

“Yes, and I would dye it blonde, along with my hair and call you brother”

Thor laughed “Please, you could never be my brother”

Loki furrowed his brow in hurt and looked back at Thor “Why not?”

Thor arched his brow “I would have my head lopped off, Loki. One does not sleep with their brother”

Loki scoffed a laugh and laid his head down again “Go to sleep, you need it”

Thor hummed and closed his eyes, gently rubbing Loki’s back.

He watched the ceiling for a while and listened to Loki’s breathing even out before he spoke.

“Loki?”

 

“Hmm?”

“Can I watch you shave in the morning?”

Thor yelped a moment later when he felt a chilling burst of magic go up him.

***

Tyr snuck into his chambers three hours past midnight, throwing his cloak to the floor carelessly before banging the doors shut and walking on.

Insolent brat…

He’d ruined everything. Now Thor was suspicious and Loki would escape from his grasp.

He would never have Helbindi’s head and Odin would never know what he was capable of.

Tyr’s demands were simple enough.

His motivation even more so.

Before Thor had been banished to Midgard, Tyr had been the warrior to be envious of. Soldiers respected _him_ , tributes were given to _him_. _He_ was the one that sat at the table beside Odin, not that brat.

He sat on Odin’s left hand side, had been named leader of Odin army until Thor had returned.

He’d come back victorious from his quest and everyone had cheered for him. everyone that Tyr had went to _him_ and Tyr still waited for them to return.

It was ridiculous.

He’d fought battles, killed enemies, slaughtered Jotuns and all was forgotten when their beloved prince returned from a punishment _he_ himself had brought upon him.

It was stupid and ludicrous. 

Tyr didn’t think Odin could be this biased.

Then again…

The man had proven himself capable of showing preference of one over the other.

It wasn’t only Thor.

It was that _boy_ as well. The pathetic Jotun runt he’d been foolish enough to pick up.

He had been _Tyr’s_ and Odin had shown no qualms about giving him to Thor.

Tyr had specifically _said_ that Loki had been his to take as servant or slave and Odin …

Tyr growled as he walked to his bed chambers.

Odin had ignored him and sent him on that stupid mission just so he wouldn’t be able to have the boy, he _knew_ that was the only reason he’d been sent to get information.

And he was tired of being overlooked.

Tyr had removed his weapon and placed it aside when he realized he wasn’t alone.

He spun around in time to see a fist ram into his face and send him spinning, hitting the ground with a force that knocked his hook out.

He leapt to his feet and faced his attacker, sneering when he encountered the golden gaze he’d come to hate.

Another preference Odin seemed to have.

“Well, about time this was due” Tyr said, keeping a good careful gaze on Bragi.

The man was a lethal killer, ruthless, cold and calculated, it would do Tyr well to keep from making this a physical match.

“This is not between us” Bragi said, hands prepared in case Tyr attacked “This is about Loki”

Tyr scoffed “So he went and cried his sorrows to you, then, eh? After Thor dismissed him, did he find solace in your arms?”

Bragi slit his gaze but didn’t rise to the bait.

“Keep your disgusting implications aside, Tyr” he said “and listen very closely. Do _not_ come near him again. He has done nothing to you. Seek your glory somewhere else. This is the only warning I will give, so heed it.”

Tyr gave a harsh bark of laughter “My, my, such care for someone you know only barely. I wonder what the little slut does to earn such loyalty from someone like you”

Bragi’s lip curled in disgust “How someone so low could become a General to an Aesir army, I am amazed. And since it is so easy for you to slur Loki’s honor I wonder if your thinking led you to spread yourself for those Council members that granted you this position”

Tyr froze for a moment at the insult before he roared in anger.

Bragi’s lips curved into a smirk as the other man lunged at him.

He stepped back, grabbed Bragi’s shoulders as he tried to tackle him and leapt aside, using his own momentum to slam him into the wall.

Tyr hit the wood and concrete with a sick crack before he lay there a moment, disoriented. He growled, forced himself to stand. His eyes fixed on Bragi and he attacked again.

It proved to be a mistake.

Bragi moved so fast, there was no hope for Tyr to even _see_ what he had done.

Tyr felt the punch in his gut, the vicious blow behind his neck, the knee within his gut before he _felt_ himself be lifted, felt the hit across his face that cut open the skin above his eyes, felt the strike that dislocated his shoulder and had the air knocked out of him when he was kicked in the gut, sending him flying across the room to hit his bed’s side table before falling to the ground, stunned and in pain.  
Bragi cracked his knuckles and looked at him.

“As I said this is the only warning I will give you. Touch Loki again and I will not hesitate to kill you, Tyr.”

Tyr groaned, seeing the room spin before him.

Bragi scoffed and turned, leaving the destroyed chambers without a scratch upon him. 

His heels clicked on the wooden floor and were the last thing Tyr saw before the world turned black.

***

There was a fair held outside the palace today.

Thor and Loki were taking a walk, hand in hand, when they saw the banner painted and hung upon a building. 

Loki’s eyes had gone large and he’d grabbed Thor’s hand tighter, running over to the banner and reading it.

“Thor!” he grinned “I’ve wanted to go to an Aesir fair for so long! Please, may we go?”

Thor wouldn’t have denied Loki infant blood if he had asked for it at the moment.

“Of course” Thor grinned, “lead the way, Beloved”

Thor should have known better.

It started off wonderfully, Loki looked at the stalls set on the streets, almost running from one to the other, looking at everything, his head moving here and there like a cat’s, eyes large and curios and mouth parted in wonder.

His hand never left Thor’s as he led him along, running them both ahead when he saw a huge wheel erected far within the grounds past the trees.

There, men and women had set up games and sports of various kinds.

Bottles were set in pyramids, to be knocked down by balls and prizes to be gained.

Buckets and tubs were filled with water, apples bobbing within.

A kissing booth was set in the distance and Loki beamed with joy when he saw his friends from the brothel manning the three stalls.

They called to him, waving at him, asking him to come over.

“Prince Loki over here!”

Thor yelped when Loki dragged him along, running towards the whores.

“My ladies!” Loki smiled at them, bowing before them “I did not know you were here as well”

“Aye, we are” one of them tittered and leaned over “always make the most money, we do”

“Always!” another giggled, then waved at Thor “Greetings, Majesty”

“My Lady” Thor bowed to her and she squealed in joy.

“Mayhap you will take from our stall?” one of them asked Loki “a prince like you is always rare”

“And we’ve already spent the coin you gave”

Loki laughed when they all started to giggle “Why, I would be honored”

Thor shook his head as Loki went to the very first booth and paused. He laughed when Loki blushed uncertainly as the woman leaned over, then placed a small kiss on her cheek.

The next waited for Loki, cheek presented and waited for him to lean over to her before she suddenly turned and kissed him full on the mouth.

Thor burst out laughing when Loki leapt back, both his hands over his mouth and a red blush creeping up his face.

When the next arrived, she bowed to Loki “Agata, your highness, and you may kiss my hand”

She presented Loki with her hand and he brought her knuckles to his lips.

The others groaned in disappointment, then promptly came to get their kisses from the prince.

They were attracting quite a crowed but Thor didn’t mind.

What he _did_ frown at were the glares Loki was getting.

At first, Thor didn’t notice, but when he heard the whispers, he went on alert and saw the crowd that had gathered around them. The men and women were watching Loki mingling with the whores, joking and laughing, and had immediately started to whisper. A few pointed at him as one of them kissed his lips again and gave him a low curtsy, showing him her ample bosom and making him flush.

Thor felt disturbed when man gave Loki a wrong glance and moved forward.

Loki was giving them coins when Thor suddenly snatched his pouch from him, startling him.

“Enjoy, my ladies” Thor threw the entire pouch at the women, making them screech in joy, before he grabbed Loki’s wrist and hauled him away.

“Thor!” Loki said, stumbling after, green cape billowing “Thor, what’s the matter?”

“Nothing” Thor smiled at him over his shoulder as he dragged him away “I just wish to show you something”

As he dragged him away, Thor never heard the voices stop _talking_.

***

It was a relief when he saw his brother and friends approach from the distance.

Thor and Loki had placed bets on the races that went on between them, watching the farmers mount their unbroken horses to see which would last the longest.

It was hilarious and Loki was in tears, laughing at each and every fall the bucks caused. One man flew so high he ended up knocking down a stall.

He was alright, and in good humor, raised his hands for the crowd to see and cheer for him.

“Brother!” Thor waved when he saw Balder “over here!”

Balder waved from the distance, the alerted Thor’s friends to follow.

Loki grinned when he saw Idunn and she ran over to hold his hands, smiling.

“So?” she said “What happened?”

“Later” Loki winked, then let her hook her arm with his “for now, we bet”

“Yes!” Idunn screeched, looking at Balder “come along, we are placing bets!”

Balder cheered and moved over, coming to rest upon the wooden railing that held the match.

Thor’s friends came to greet Loki and Sif started a mock fight with Sigyn to lean beside him. Loki was laughing so hard he missed the horse throw the man off and groaned when he realized he’d lost.

“This isn’t fair” he pulled out his newly brought pouch and handed Thor a few coins.

“How so?” Thor asked

“I wasn’t watching” Loki said

Thor threw his head back and laughed before giving in to the impulse and kissing Loki right on the mouth.

Cheers sounded from Thor’s friends as he made to pull back. His eyes widened when Loki’s arms went around his neck and the other opened his mouth, pushing his slick, wet tongue into Thor’s mouth and licking his palate.

The cheers got louder and someone whistled.

Thor groaned and his eyes fluttered shut.

Loki smiled and pulled back, winking at Thor. A blush crept over his pale skin and Thor stared at how _beautiful_ he was.

He ended up giving him a goofy grin.

Loki sniggered and pulled back, then showed him the coins he’s stolen back from Thor.

“Hoy!” Thor called, pointing at him “you trickster!”

Laughing, Loki skipped away and Balder grabbed Thor in a headlock.

“Run, Loki, run!”

Idunn and Sigyn grabbed Loki’s hands and led him away from Thor, laughing and cheering.

Thor’s friends ran to Thor’s aid and Balder was taken down in the attack.

Loki yelled and ran ahead of the women when the others gave chase. Sigyn lifted her skirts and ran faster, prompting Idunn to do the same.

The trio maneuvered between the masses, making them yell and jump aside and a few moments later, Balder joined them and grabbed Idunn’s hand to lead her away. Loki grabbed Sigyn’s and led her to the women he had befriended.

“Stop in the name of Thor the Mighty!” Fandral called from behind them, battle ready.

“Or suffer the wrath of Volstagg’s rear as it descends upon you!” Theoric called.

A yelp sounded afterwards and Thor guffawed in laughter when Theoric fell under Volstagg’s attack.

Balder and Idunn twisted between the masses and followed Loki as he went ahead.

The women were manning their booths, still and cheered when they saw Loki return, saw his flushed happy face and saw the army that was looking for them.

“Over here, Majesty!” they called, moving to let him take refuge.

Balder and the women followed and ducked behind the booth.

The women placed themselves strategically before them to shield them and they panted, listening to their ‘enemy’ approach.

They heard the women guide them astray and held their laughter well.

When they were gone, the whores looked at Loki and the others.

“It’s safe, come out now”

Loki straightened first, looking about before grinning.

“Gone”

Balder and the women came out next and stood beside him.

“Now what?” Idunn asked

“We attack” Balder said “Idunn, Sigyn, you go and get as many apples as you can, I’ll bargain with the fruit seller to give you a basket as well. Loki, wait here. You and I shall lead them here”

“Act as bait?” Loki asked

“Aye” Balder grinned and followed Idunn and Sigyn as they ran over to bargain for apples.

Loki smiled and looked about, going to see a few other stalls.

That was when everything went wrong.

Loki was standing over a woodcarver’s cart, wondering if he should buy Thor a carving of Mjolnir, when someone called him.

“Loki!”

Loki turned around.

He cried out a moment later when something wet and soft hit his face, smelling disgusting. He stumbled back and wiped it off to see a rotten tomato on his hand.

He looked up in disbelief and yelled when another hit him.

Then another and another.

The people gasped but did nothing as the bunch of masked men launched their attack on Loki, making him cry out and scream.

“Stop it!” Loki yelled, bending over when another hit him so hard in the face his head spun to the other side “Thor!”

“Yes, cry for him, bitch!”

Rotten, smelling eggs were hurled at him next, and then, to his horror, a rock his him.

Loki fell on his hands and knees and that was when two men came over, heavy buckets lifted and doused him in blood.

Pig’s blood.

Loki screamed and cried in terror, trying to get away, slipping and catching on his cape when the blood turned the ground muddy under him.

“Remember your place, Jotun”

Something hit Loki in the ribs and he broke.

Loki doubled over, clutching his sides as he wept, dripping with blood.

He heard Balder approach and cry out in horror, he heard the men vanish.

He heard Idunn hurling insults and throwing apples at them and he heard Sigyn run for help.

“Loki!” Balder fell beside him

Loki screamed and cried in horror, having had enough and Balder took off his cape, put it around him and carried him away as the laughter started to hum.

***   

The doors to Loki’s chambers banged open under Balder’s kick and he carried the screaming, crying Loki in.

“Get it off!” Loki yelled, traumatized beyond belief.

He was drenched in blood, dripping it on the floor and he was _traumatized_.

Balder carried him upstairs, into the washroom where he placed him in an empty tub.

“Loki!” he called over the screaming, grabbed a towel and wiped his face clean “Loki, calm down, I’m here!”

“No!” Loki screamed, kicking his legs and fighting against him “Leave me alone! Go away!”

“Loki!” Balder grabbed his shoulders “It’s me, calm down!”

“I didn’t do anything!” Loki yelled at him “I didn’t do…Let me go!”

In their struggling, as Loki thrashed and Balder comforted him, Balder’s head so close, his lips managed to nudge Loki’s.

Balder froze, Loki froze and a moment later, Balder balked when Loki grabbed his shoulders and slammed their mouths back together, whimpering and crying.

Balder pushed him back instantly, but it was too late.

A shocked gasp came from the door and they both turned to see Thor standing there, pale as death, eyes shining in rage.


	21. Had Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who saw this coming?

“Loki!”

Thor felt faint because of the sight before him.

Even though Idunn had warned him, he couldn’t help but feel so much _fear_ rise in him when he saw his beloved drenched in blood.

There was pure terror in Loki’s gaze as he clung to Balder, whimpering when he was released and fell back in the tub, sobbing, giving them both his back as he tried to hide

He ran forward, ignoring how nervously Balder stood before he fell beside the tub on his knees, grabbing Loki’s shoulders and made him look back.

“Beloved!”

Loki resisted even his touch and Thor felt his heart begin to break.

“Balder” Thor said, firmly pressing Loki back against the tub even as he whimpered and pushed against him “go to the fair, Fandral and Hogun had a trail they were following make sure _none_ of those bastards escape, understand? Now go”

“Thor…” Balder began, his heart _pounding_ within his chest.

“Go!” Thor looked at him over his shoulder “Now!”

Balder turned and rushed out, looking at Thor as he left, but his brother didn’t look back.

Balder knew Thor had seen them. 

And it worried him to no end.

He jogged down the stairs, rushing out of the room and letting the door shut behind him.

In the bathroom, Thor shushed Loki.

“Beloved, easy” Thor said a Loki tried to get out of his grip, “Loki, my darling, open your eyes”

Loki, gasping and whimpering, didn’t obey and Thor raised a hand to gently touch his face.

“Loki”

Loki flinched at the touch, but managed to stifle his shivering to look at the man before him.

“Th- Thor”

Thor smiled at him and spoke softly “Yes, Loki, darling, it’s me. See?”

He lifted Loki’s bloodstained hand and brought it to his face, stroking Loki’s bloody fingers over his cheek.

“I’m right here”

Loki’s lip quivered a moment before his face crumpled again.

“Thor!”

Thor was ready as Loki hurled himself into his arms, holding him close as he tried to calm down. He threw his arms around Thor’s shoulders and buried his face in Thor’s neck.

“I didn’t do anything!” Loki cried, staining Thor with blood and all the other things that had been thrown at him “I didn’t do anything to them, Thor, and they …”

“Hush” Thor placed a hand behind his matted hair and stroked his head “Calm down, forget them, darling. Forget everything”

“I didn’t do…”

“Forget it” Thor whispered, gently pulling Loki away, uncaring of how dirty his own hair and clothes had gotten “Look at me, look at my eyes, understand?”

“No.” Loki whimpered and shook his head, keeping his eyes shut, trembling in the aftermath of his humiliation “Thor…”

“Understand?” Thor asked, looking into his emerald eyes “just look into my eyes, don’t look anywhere else”

Loki sniffed, blinked to shed a few tears, but he obeyed.

“Now think about Hela” Thor said, gently setting Loki at a distance where he could begin taking his clothes off “What color are her eyes, darling?”

Loki swallowed, closing his eyes when he heard the squelch his clothes gave “Thor, I …”

“Loki” Thor cooed softly “Look at me, please”

Loki opened his eyes, tear filled, and looked at his lover.

“What color are Hela’s eyes?” Thor asked, gently taking Loki’s cape from its holder and letting it drop behind him in the empty tub.

“Blue and green”

Thor smiled and grabbed Loki’s wrist, gently moving his arm and taking it out of the sleeve of his coat.

“Good, what color are my eyes?”

Loki swallowed, but kept looking at Thor’s eyes “Cerulean”

Thor smiled “My Mother’s?”

“Blue”

“Good” Thor released Loki’s other arm and pushed the coat off his shoulders.

The scent of fresh blood rose in the air and Loki’s breathing started to stutter.

“Loki, close your eyes” Thor said, tipping his head up “close your eyes and think of Alfheim. What do you want to do when we go there?”

Loki squeezed his eyes shut and swallowed, feeling Thor undress him “I…”

“There are deposits of magic there, did you know?” Thor asked, unbuttoning Loki’s tunic and pushing it off his shoulders “right there, in the land and water. You can just … use them”

His under tunic needed to be lifted off, so Thor let that remain because it would require touching Loki’s face. Instead, he took off Loki’s boots.

“And there is little difference between men and women there”

Loki panted softly, grabbing Thor’s biceps and keeping his head low as he listened to Thor’s voice.

“S-sing” Loki whimpered “Thor, please sing to me”

Thor blinked and realized Loki was about to panic again.

“As you wish, my darling heart”

Thor began to hum as he pulled both his shoes off and ran his thumb under Loki’s soles.

His voice echoed and resonated in the bath and it seemed to take everything over. Every rise and every fall of his baritone seemed to vibrate the walls and the occupants within and Loki started to listen to that, feel it calm him.

He moved his leg, focused on Thor’s singing, and lifted his hips so that Thor could remove his trousers and place them aside.

Still singing, Thor pulled back enough to bare himself to the waist before he leaned over Loki.

“Hold on to me, my love” Thor whispered before he continued to hum.

Loki obeyed, eyes still shut, placing his arms around Thor’s shoulders.

There was a small pause as Thor lifted him into his arms, Loki’s legs on either side of his tapered waist as he carried him to the large bath.

“Open your eyes, Beloved” Thor sang softly “let me see them”

Loki slowly obeyed, looking at Thor’s face, his eyes and his smile and held on tighter, placing his head on Thor’s shoulder.

The humming continued as Thor stepped into the bath and sat on the bench next to the lions head valve. Setting Loki firmly in his lap, he reached over to turn it on to full, filling the bath as quickly as it could.

“Beloved” Thor said, very softly “Darling, use your magic and set some Bubble Bath in the water, please.”

Loki sniffed loudly and didn’t life his head, but a moment later, the bottle he’d asked for floated over to Thor.

“Thank you, my darling.” Thor said, humming again.

He pulled the stopper out and poured it where the water was filling the bath, watching the bubbles rise.

“Look” Thor said, nudging Loki “Sweetheart, look”

Loki shifted enough to give the water a one eyed stare before he turned further and pillowed his cheek on Thor, watching the bubbles rise and hearing his husband sing.

Tremors still hit him and he was clinging to Thor desperately, his nails digging into Thor’s shoulder as he tried to focus on the bubbles and Thor’s beautiful voice.

Thor looked down to see that the water was slowly rising, the pink bubbles reaching their ankles.

“Loki” Thor said softly “Hold on to me, my love”

Loki clung tighter, squeezing Thor as the other moved off the bench and went to the floor of the bath, inclining his body forward until Loki lay flat on his back in the shallow water.

Thor kept humming and pulled back, Loki spread his legs to let Thor sit between them.

“Eyes closed, Beloved” Thor said, leaning over him and cupping water in his hand to drop over Loki’s forehead.

He didn’t want Loki to see the blood as it was washed off.

“Thor…”

“Later, my darling” Thor said, levering himself over Loki and looking down at him.

It looked like Thor was about to take him, such was the illusion, but the tenderness in Thor’s eyes and the anxiety in Loki’s gave it away.

“Just close them” Thor smiled down at him “Let my eyes be the last thing you see”

Loki took a shuddering breath and did as he was told.

Thor pulled back and looked at his blood stained form, dampening his anger before he ran his wet hands over Loki’s legs.

“Please sing, Thor” Loki pleaded “at least let me hear you”

Thor began to hum as he washed Loki’s legs of the blood, letting the scent of Bubble Bath rise to the ceiling just like his voice.

Loki lay before him, so trusting and opened, eyes closed as he listened to Thor’s voice and felt his hands touch him, clean him, make everything that happened go away.

Thor’s humming continued and the water began to rise, so he snaked his hands under Loki and lifted him, sitting back to place Loki in his lap, watching the rust colored water fall off behind Loki.

Loki let himself be manipulated and put his arms around Thor, resting his chin on Thor’s shoulder and playing with his blonde hair, flicking the tips with his fingers.

He opened his eyes, blinking slowly as Thor washed him, he clung tighter when the water got higher and they had to move to the bench.

Thor told him he needed to remove his under tunic and Loki allowed it, taking a deep breath and holding it so that he couldn’t smell the wet cloth as it passed over his face.

Thor immediately threw it aside and washed his face, then his hair, his back, his legs, arms and neck, scrubbing gently and massaging his trembling shoulders.

He pulled Loki chest to chest and shut the water off as he massaged shampoo into Loki’s hair. Loki hummed in pleasure, listening to Thor’s voice as it calmed him, placing his cheek on Thor’s shoulder again and sighing when he felt himself be soothed.

And Thor …

He tried not letting his heartbreak as he recalled what he had seen when he entered the washroom.

***

When Bragi came to assist, there was no hope for them.

They caught them _all_ , all seven of Loki’s attackers and now they sat, bound in the dungeons.

They had run into the woods after, thinking the trees were going to save them as The Warriors Three, Sif, Sigyn, Idunn, Theoric and Balder chased them.

Yes, they were outnumbered, but they still had knowledge of the woods and they managed to hide, losing only one under Prince Balder’s wrath as she was caught.

The rest went into the woods, arming themselves with rocks that they hurled at their hunters, keeping some sort of distance between them.

Fandral was hit over the eye and that enraged them further, prompting Sigyn to use her magic to shield them and run forward.

Idunn caught the next, hitting him repeatedly with a large branch and yelling, cursing and hissing insults until Theoric had to lift her away.

The other five had used the distraction to leave behind their comrades and went further into the woods.

But they were caught, all of them other than their leader as he ran faster, using more stealth than they had previously thought him incapable of.

He hid in behind dense trees, laughing when he was searched for.

In truth, he didn’t expect things to get this serious.

So when an arrow came out from out of the blue, soaring through the air and into his shoulder, pinning him to the tree behind him, he’d screamed.

That had what doomed him.

Now, he knelt, arm and shoulder bandaged, in the dungeons, opposite the cells where Loki’s previous tormentors waited.

They had been here longer, if their states were anything to judge by and it seemed they, too harbored resentment against the new Jotun runt brought forth.

Robert Daregate was their leader, the father that had lost his son.

The other six were men and women who wanted to harm Loki with no real purpose in mind. It was easy to sway them.

Balder, Sif, Theoric and Fandral stood before their cell, talking.

Where the rest had gone, Robert would never know, but he knew something bad awaited them.

And since he’d already lost his son, he didn’t care what happened to him.

He scoffed and it got the attention of the warriors before him.

Balder slit his gaze and his mouth curled in disgust.

“Is something amusing you?”

“Aye” Robert said, bolder than those behind him “The fact that you would turn from your own kind for a monster so easily.”

Balder’s hand fisted and Fandral growled.

“If anyone is a monster here, it is you” Fandral said, turning to the other group as well “All of you. Harming a boy that has done nothing to you.”

“He is responsible for the death of a thousand Aesir!” Robert yelled “Does that mean nothing to you!?

We mourned – a thousand Aesir mourned while that _bitch_ came back to a life of luxury he got by whoring himself out!”

“How dare you speak of the Prince that way!” Fandral walked forth.

“Everyone speaks of him that way, everyone knows how he got where he is!” Robert yelled back “He is no prince to us, just a broodmare willing to let our prince mount it so…”

“Enough!” 

Balder’s shout resonated in the chambers.

Balder never raised his voice, never even spoke loudly unless it was at war, so Robert shut up. 

There was no sound in the room and everyone stared at the First Prince. 

“You dare to impugn his honor so, when he has done _nothing_ to you” Balder rasped, a formidable figure as he stared at Robert “you have all of Asgard thinking they have a right to treat him so badly when they have _none_ he is a prince! A prince to Asgard, he will have your respect!”

“How?”

They turned when a woman from another cell spoke.

Her hair was dirty and her dress torn, but her eyes shone.

“By throwing all of Asgard within these cells?” she leered “he will never have our respect, be it his mistake or not that Asgard lost many. We want revenge, retribution for those tricked by a Jotun and we will settle for his blood, nothing less. You may have us killed and imprisoned for life, but that will never settle the uprising against the precious Loki.”

“It will when Thor reaches these chambers” Balder said menacingly.

It felt as if his words had frozen every being in the room.

Balder had been here, along with Thor’s friends to stop the Crowned Prince from killing these people.

Thor’s rage and Thor’s revenge were two very fearful things.

It was one of the reasons no one judged Odin’s decision to make Thor his heir.

He had long since ensured that he would be obeyed.

The woman, who had spoken, swallowed.

“Know the Mjolnir comes for all of you” Balder said, looking at all of Loki’s tormentors one by one “and she will be guided by Thor’s bloodlust. I suggest you pray quickly, because no time is left for you. Your deaths will silence all voice and action against Loki, be assured, when _Thor_ is the one hanging your broken carcasses in the town square”

“Balder…” Fandral began in warning.

“Leave” Balder said, looking to his friend, “All of you, out”

“But…” Sif said

“Out” 

The chilled word shook them to the core and they bowed to their prince before hastening to run and get the only person they knew who could stop this.

Retribution they understood.

Murder was not warranted.

***

Cleaned and sweet smelling, Loki sat with his legs curled under him, sitting on the balcony to let his hair dry.

Thor had spent an hour washing him, cleaning him like he was the most precious thing in the world to him, he washed his ears, his nape, his face.

Loki smiled when he recalled how Thor had kissed his mouth when he’d poured water over his face and smiled down at him at Loki held him close. Then he’d let Loki sit as he washed himself, before he dragged Loki back and placed him back into his lap, rubbing his shoulders, massaging him and kissing his hair, his neck, his cheek as he whispered how much he loved him.

Then Thor had gotten out, danced a little as he dried himself to make Loki laugh before pulling a towel around his waist and getting another for Loki.

Despite his protests, Thor insisted on carrying Loki and sat him on the bed, drying his hair, his body before he kissed him again. He’d begged Loki to let him brush his hair. 

Loki had agreed and Thor had sat behind him, running the brush through Loki’s hair and pointing out that it needed to be snipped.

“Go ahead” Loki had said “Do it for me”

Thor had all but leapt out of bed before he ran to the bath and got a bowl of warm water, a comb and scissors.

He asked Loki to come over to the balcony and Loki obeyed, sitting between Thor’s knees as the man started to snip his hair.

Thor had hummed for Loki again and Loki closed his eyes, feeling the wet comb go through his hair and listening to the soothing whispers of the scissors working. He felt the vibrations in his skull and enjoyed the process.

When he was done, Thor sat back and was about to get up when Loki leaned over and rested his head upon Thor’s thigh, just watching the blue skies of Asgard before him.

Thor didn’t move as Loki lay on him but a few moments later, he leaned down and kissed Loki’s cheek, whispering a soft ‘I love you’ in his ear.

Loki had smiled and sat contented until Thor announced that his hair was tangled.

Loki chuckled and let him go and dress, following him as he pulled out clothes for him.

As he reached the top of the stairs, Thor tossed him a tunic without a word and went to change. 

Now, he wore Thor’s tunic because it was loose and breezy, scented of his husband that had gone a while ago, to settle some matter.

Loki, calm and feeling much, much better once the blood was off, wanted to relax a little before the evening started, maybe invite Idunn and the others over for a game or something to distract him and keep him from nightmares.

He jumped when the doors suddenly burst open and a hoard of people swarmed in, making him blink and stare.

“Loki!”

Loki gaped as Fandral ran forward and grabbed his wrist, hauling him out of his seat.

“Come with us, immediately!”

Loki spluttered in confusion “What…What’s going on!?”

“Your husband” Theoric said “He’s about to murder those that attacked you”

Loki paled and stumbled, making Sif hold his shoulder.

“I know what they did was wrong, but this is not right” she said “we tried to look for Odin but he is not here, we beg you to convince Thor to change his mind”

“How…?” Loki said as he was pulled out of his chambers and into the hallway “What am I supposed to do?”

“Make a statement”

They stopped when Bragi stood before them, arms by his sides.

Loki looked at his mentor and blinked “What?”

“A statement” Bragi said, shrugging one shoulder “This is your time to show people what you are capable of.”

“Sir” Sif said “We cannot have Thor kill…”

“Did I address you?”

A chill went through even Loki as Bragi turned to Sif with a raised brow.

Sif opened and closed her mouth and Loki felt Fandral’s hand twitch upon his shoulder.

“No, Sir.” Sif lowered her head.

Bragi dismissed her and turned to the other two men “Leave Loki in my charge. I shall take it from here”

“But, sir, you cannot…”

Fandral shut up when Bragi raised a brow and Loki felt him back away, his heart hammering in his chest.

“Come, Loki” Bragi gestured “we have a long walk down to the dungeons”

Loki was hesitant.

True, he didn’t want Thor to kill them, but he didn’t want to be attacked again.

Maybe Thor knew what he was doing…

He stumbled when Theoric gave him a gentle nudge and went to Bragi, walking with him when his mentor turned to leave.

He gave the people behind him a look, took in their worried faces and raised a hand, letting them know he would take care of this.

One way or another.

***

Robert was the first to flinch when the door to the dungeons slammed open, banging against the walls before vibrating in the aftermath of the violence rained upon them.

Balder, who was waiting for this, pushed himself off the wall as Thor approached.

Outside, had there been any windows, they would have seen the darkening skies.

The prisoners couldn’t help but stare in horror as Thor stormed forward, a black cape thrown on, making him look twice as lethal as he already was.

“Thor” Balder said, walking over “I was…”

“You had best make yourself scarce, Balder” Thor stopped beside him and looked him right in the eye “I have a feeble hold upon my temper as it is, do not stand here before me lest I decide to act upon your betrayal right here”

Balder paled, his mouth parting in shock and hurt “Thor…”

Thor slit his gaze “We will talk later, leave”

Balder blinked, then looked around before his mouth tightened and he left the prisoners to their fate, his cape billowing behind him.

The doors closed after the First Prince and Thor turned to the men and women before him.

“So” he stalked towards Robert’s cage “Whose idea was this?”

There was pin drop silence in the chambers and the women pushed themselves back against the walls when Thor extracted Mjolnir from his side.

The hammer hummed loudly as Thor lifted it and pointed it to the cage nearest, the one next to Robert’s.

“Was it you?”

Thunder roared outside and the man Thor referred to, flinched and fell to his knees.

“Highness!” he pleaded “you cannot mean to…”

“I do” Thor said simply, turning to look at the woman looking at him in horror “And nothing is going to save you.”

“Thor!”

The doors slammed open and Thor turned, blinking in surprise when he saw Loki running forward, Thor’s borrowed clothes swishing against him.

Immediately, Thor felt his anger wan as he took in Loki’s distressed face. His heart started to hammer when he thought something was wrong.

“Loki?” Thor turned and met him halfway, his features worried “What’s wrong?”

Loki grabbed Thor’s arms and shook his head “Nothing, but you cannot do this, Thor.”

Thor frowned “Do what?”

“This” Loki looked behind his husband “You cannot kill them.”

Thunder rumbled outside and Thor released Mjolnir to grab Loki’s arms.

“Why?”

Loki shook his head “This is not who you are, you are not a murderer.”

Thunder roared and Loki felt Thor’s anger as he scowled heavily.

“They _dared_ to hurt you” Thor said loudly, gesturing to the people behind him “Not one, but twice, and you would have them live?”

“Yes” Loki said, holding Thor tighter when he felt him get angry “Thor, this isn’t the way to…”

“You did nothing to them!” Thor glared at Loki “And they hurt you so badly, treated you like you had done them wrong!”

Whimpering sounded behind Thor and he ignored it while Loki looked to it, then back at Thor, a soft expression on his face.

Loki looked into Thor’s eyes, pleading him to listen “Thor, isn’t that what you are doing?”

Thor blinked in surprise.

“Isn’t that _exactly_ what you are doing?” Loki asked softly rubbing Thor’s arms “Thor, please. They did nothing to _you_ , don’t lower yourself to their level, please.”

Thor’s mouth tightened “So what do you want? What kind of punishment do you want me to bestow upon them?”

“None” Loki said simply “I want you to let them go.”

“What?” Thor stared at him.

This time the thunder was so loud, Loki actually flinched and got worried a moment. He turned back to Thor and bit his lips.

“Please” Loki gently shook Thor’s arms “You asked what I wanted, this is it.”

Thor glared at him, breathing deeply to calm himself.

Then, without a word, he extended his arm behind him.

A loud metallic hum accompanied Mjolnir as she came to his grasp and Loki flinched.

Thor turned his head a fraction to the side, speaking over his shoulder.

“You all owe him your lives.” he rasped “Be assured that I came here to kill each and every one of you. I would have done it without hesitation had he not stopped me.”

The men and women didn’t respond.

Footsteps sounded behind Loki and Thor looked to see Bragi and two guards walk in. They stopped when they saw everything was under control and Thor slit his gaze at his half brother.

“Release them” Thor ordered.

The guards nodded and walked forward. Bragi nodded to Loki.

“Wait”

Thor and the guards frowned when Loki spoke. He looked at Thor.

“I want to know who told them to do it.” Loki said.

He walked around Thor to look at the men and women behind the bars.

“Who told you it was alright to hurt me?” he asked.

Silence. Not one of them spoke.

“I know you didn’t do it without motivation” Loki stated, looking at them all one by one “Tell me who…”

“There are many who told us” Robert said, looking at Loki impassively “The thousand Aesir your brother killed, for example. The families that mourned and were denied justice, is another. You have brought death upon Asgard and it hasn’t even been half a year of your marriage. People already think of you as a bad omen, Prince. Knowing who is responsible will do nothing for the resentment created against the Jotun runt that has taken our Prince.”

Thunder roared outside and Thor advanced.

“I’ll rip you in half with my bare hands if I …” his roar broke off as Loki held up a hand.

“Let him be, Thor” Loki said softly “he simply speaks for the kingdom.”

Thor’s mouth tightened and his gaze promised retribution at a later date, but he yielded for now.

“I am aware there is resentment against me, I do not need a reminder” Loki said, looking at Robert right in the eyes “I need an answer. One that you will give me, or I will turn and walk away and let Thor and Bragi do whatever the hell they want to you. Know that your life depends on this, good man. Now tell me who ordered you to humiliate me”

Robert gave a snarl before he was defeated.

He sighed and looked to the ground.

“General Tyr”

There was a hiss from Thor and Loki paled, but Bragi gave no reaction.

“He told us he will get us the retribution we were denied.”

“Retribution against my brother?” Loki asked, shaking “The man I killed in cold blood, you want retribution for him?”

Thor frowned when Loki’s voice started to rise.

“I killed him!” Loki yelled, tears in his eyes “I killed my own brother is that not punishment enough!?”

“Loki!” Thor ran over and grabbed Loki’s shoulders pulling him back.

“I threw him into an abyss and watched him fall to his death!” Loki yelled at them as Thor dragged him away “I have had enough punishment, you sick bastards!”

“Guards!” Bragi ran forward, helping Thor when Loki began to fight against him “Lead them out.”

The guards nodded and ran to release the prisoners as Bragi came to aid Thor.

“Let me go!” Loki yelled, crying and yelling at the same time “They need to know the price I paid! They need…!”

“Loki!” Bragi grabbed Loki’s face “Enough!”

Thor frowned but for once, he kept his mouth shut.

“Enough” Bragi said, softer, when Loki calmed enough “That’s enough. You made your statement, you let them go. They know what you are capable of”

Loki’s lip quivered and a moment later, he was reminded of what he had done.

Thor saw it a moment before Bragi did and spun Loki around, pulling his arms around him.

“Hush, Loki” he said as Loki’s breath began to stutter “He said, enough.”

Loki’s fists clenched in Thor’s cape and he pressed himself closer, forcing his sobs back.

“They need to know” Loki repeated, mumbling in Thor’s black cape “They should know what I gave up, they need to know I that I have been punished, they need…”

“Enough” Thor whispered, kissing Loki’s hair “That is enough, my darling heart.”

Loki’s hands tightened in Thor’s cape and Bragi politely turned away, walking over to Robert when he was released.

The older man managed to keep his back straight, but his expression was worried when Bragi came before him, arms crossed, and leaned to whisper in his ear.

“I would warn Tyr, if I were you” Bragi said, laughing “having not one, but all three sons of Odin against him is a battle he cannot win. Tell him I gave him the warning I was supposed to. We will come for his head now.”

Robert stepped back looking at him “You cannot harm a General”

Bragi smirked “Can’t I?”

“He was right about you” Robert said, watching Bragi’s back “About how you want his position, about how Odin is lenient with you.”

Bragi rolled his eyes and kept on walking “Forgive me, I care not for your prattle, man, leave and be done with it.”

“He said you deserved what happened to your family”

Bragi froze.

Loki gasped, looked up at Robert, then at Bragi’s face.

“Tyr said you were a bastard and deserved what happened to Diana, because you let the arms of a Jotun soothe you.”

Robert _had_ a death wish, Loki realized as Thor released him to kill.

“Thor, wait!” Loki grabbed his arm to stop him.

But Bragi was already turning back.

“Bragi!”

Loki watched in horror as Bragi calmly walked back, grabbed Robert by the throat and slammed him against the wall.

“Know that I let you live, just so you can tell Tyr this.” Bragi rasped, looking Robert right in the eye “I have no respect for him, I never did, so if I ever hear her name pass from his lips again, I will carve his heart out and bury it with her.”

Robert glared at him.

“Do you understand?”

“Bragi, please, let him go” Loki said, keeping a hold on Thor’s hand even as his husband pulled against him “Please”

“I said, do you understand!?” Bragi yelled.

Robert gave him a stone cold expression and nodded.

Bragi let him go and stepped back and Loki noticed the curious look Thor was giving him.

He watched Robert leave, his face an angry flush and the promise of retribution already in his eyes.

Bragi watched, chest heaving in remembered pain.

“Bury?” 

Loki turned to Thor when he spoke.

Bragi looked over his shoulder.

“I thought they left you” Thor’s voice was soft, hesitant.

“Death is a form of leaving, Thor” Bragi said, keeping his face impassive “Looks like we have more in common than we previously thought.”

Loki frowned but kept his mouth shut.

“Bragi…”

“We need to keep an eye on Robert” Bragi cut Thor off and turned to face them “He is far too confident, his faith in Tyr too strong. We need to know why because I fear there is more to this whole scenario than I previously thought.”

Loki let Thor go, now that no one was around to be in mortal danger, and turned his eyes to Bragi.

“He’s angry and hurt, I think that…”

“He’s also brave enough to talk back to me and the Princes” Bragi cut in “There has to be a reason and I think we will not like it when we find out. Someone is needling them into acting like this.”

“Who?” Loki asked.

“That’s what I want to…” Bragi broke off, eyeing Thor as the man approached “Thor, what the hell are you…?”

Bragi broke off, choking as Thor grabbed him in a bear hug.

Loki put a hand over his mouth in either surprise or an attempt to keep himself from smiling.

“Thor!” Bragi choked.

“Let me” Thor said, holding his brother close “Just … let me”

Bragi blinked and gave Loki a pleading glance.

Loki simply waved at him, turned and left the room, leaving Bragi in the most awkward and painful situation he could ever find himself in.

It was a reprieve from the despair, at least.

***

A ball.

Of all things for the inappropriate things to do, he announced a ball.

And the reason?

Three month anniversary of his son’s marriage.

It was so inappropriate and so boldly _wrong_ that _everyone_ accepted the invitation.

From Alfhiem to Nornhiem, all royal families and nobles that had been invited had accepted the invitation. 

They were all there, dressed in lovely clothes, moving about the castle, around their given rooms, being catered by the very best as they came to the ball.

It seemed that this was the most terrible thing the All Father could do in the aftermath of the tragedy that had struck their kingdom, that it would enrage those that had yet to harm Loki and it would needle them until they acted.

But Odin did nothing without a reason.

And as impulsive and wrong as this ball seemed, there was a reason for it.

Those that had heard what Loki had done, what compassion he was capable of, were crushed.

They felt guilty, they felt like they were monsters.

When their children and husbands were taken away, when they had no hope of seeing those that hurt Loki again, when the thunder had roared above them, when they had no chance of seeing the loved ones that had misbehaved, they had lost hope.

They had lost family and they were ready to bury them because Thor was going to kill them.

So, word spread quickly that _Loki_ , the very prince their children and husbands had harmed, had come to their aid and let them loose.

It humbled them and shame lowered their heads.

No one expected mercy from a Jotun.

No one had expected Loki to save them.

Those that didn’t stay away, those that had enough guilt pushing them and enough courage to come, they approached the castle, wanting to help with Loki’s ball, free of charge.

Of course they were watched carefully, but that was a humiliation they could take as they moved about, setting plates, tables, chairs and cloths around. Others helped set the drapes, trying to ignore the glares the guards and royal servants sent their way.

They all seemed as offended as Thor, or perhaps they were offended _because_ Thor was.

But, again, it was something they chose to bear as they silently tried making up to Loki as they prepared for his ball.

Up above, far away from the invited guests and their problems, sitting in the Royal Suite of the Royal Apartments, Loki had turned into a stubborn ass.

He had been against the ball from the start and the fact hadn’t changed. 

It was not proper, nor right, to have a ball so soon after losing so many, Loki had argued and he didn’t want to be part of a disaster again.

The fact that he was afraid of being attacked again, was left unsaid because it was so obvious.

It was why Thor had asked Bragi to make sure they were extra eyes and ears about and to make sure no one came more than ten feet of Loki.

Bragi had rolled his eyes but nodded, then blanched when Thor told him he was to wear his best.

Watching Bragi argue about how he didn’t _have_ a best was entertaining because it prompted Thor to order the tailor over and measure the well built Odinson.

Much to Bragi’s chagrin, he had been asked to remove the loose tunic he wore and Thor had laughed at the expression Bragi threw at him until he did a double take when he caught Loki staring at his half brother’s chest and abdomen.

It instantly brings to mind what he had seen and what nearly broke him, but Thor shook his head and forced it away, into nothingness, before he walked over and deliberately stood before Loki.

Loki blinked and stared up at him, flushing a moment later.

And Thor’s face relaxed into a smile when he realized Loki hadn’t _known_ that he had been staring.

He shook his head and moved to pull Loki into his arms, kissing him before the tailor and Bragi as if he was making a mark on Loki.

Which, in theory he could have.

Now, however, three days after Loki’s rescue of his tormentors, Loki sat, arms crossed over his chest as he argued against Thor.

He really didn’t want to go to the ball and not matter when Thor seemed to say, Loki had a retort good enough to make Thor shut up.

That was why Thor came up with a plan and Loki was made to endure it.

“I will not change my mind, you know” Loki announced, sitting on the bed as Tor moved about in the washroom.

“We shall see” Thor called “Remember our deal, though.”

Loki gave a dramatic sigh and threw a hand over his head “How can I forget?”

Thor chuckled from inside and Loki heard clothes rustle.

“What _are_ you doing?” Loki asked.

“Do not come in!”

The door moved to close as Thor pushed it from inside.

“It will render everything moot”

Loki rolled his eyes “Matters naught, Thor, I will not be distracted from something so … stupid! How could he do this to me? They hate me enough, why does he have to paint a target over me?”

“There is a reason to everything my father does, Loki” Thor’s voice came over “Now remember, when you forget the ball…”

“ _If_ I forget it, Thor” Loki corrected “Norns know that can never happen, it’s a disaster in the making.”

“We’ll see” Thor said.

There were a few more rustling sounds before the door opened a sliver and Thor’s voice wafted through.

“Are you ready to forget _everything_ other than me?”

Loki raised his eyes heavenwards before he sighed and looked to the door, glaring “Yes, Thor, I am ready to see you lose when…”

Clicking sounds preceded Thor as he approached and Loki’s voice trailed off, mouth hanging open at he looked upon his husband.

A thin, see through net shirt was placed over Thor’s chest, so tight it highlighted every muscle, every contour of Thor’s body, made every movement of Thor’s sinewy muscles erotic as the candle light shone on his torso.

Black, tight and leather trousers made Thor’s legs look twice as long, the leather enhancing his muscles and the bulge Loki couldn’t help lift his gaze to.

Thick, steel toed boots were placed a foot apart as Thor stood before him, hip cocked, a hand raised to the black mask upon his eyes as he fixed it. His blonde hair was in a tight bun, making his angular face all the more handsome.

Loki swallowed loudly, his throat bobbing as he started to feel heat pool with him.

He croaked and Thor smirked, making himself look so _beautiful_ that Loki had to pull at the collar of his tunic, feeling his face heat up.

And then, as though this wasn’t enough, Thor began to move.

Loki could swear his heart stopped when Thor marched over and placed a black clad knee between his legs, leaning over him.

“Prince Loki”

Loki gaped, swallowing again.

“Have you any place to be?” Thor purred, moving closer so that Loki had to lean back, keeping his voice husky as he blew in Loki’s ear “Or do I have you to myself for a few hours?”

Loki made an unintelligible sentence and Thor kissed his cheek before pulling back.

Loki choked when he saw Thor’s perfectly formed rear pressing against the leather.

“Because…”

Thor’s husky purr made Loki look up to see Thor giving him a smoldering look from over his shoulder.

“I have a little…”

A soft click sounded and Loki felt his mouth go dry when he realized Thor had unbuckled his belt.

“Show for you.”

“Th – Thor…” Loki breathed heavily, watching as Thor turned and pulled out his belt.

Loki blinked, heart pounding in his chest, blood rushing so fast he could feel the perspiration form on his brow, when Thor approached him, placed the belt around Loki and hauled him up, pressing him against his chest, grinding his groin against Loki’s arousal before he licked up Loki’s neck to his ear.

“I’m going to strip for you now, Loki” Thor told him “And you are going to watch”

Loki felt his face heat up and it was becoming harder and harder to breathe because Thor looked so damned _delicious_ that all Loki wanted to do was throw him on the bed and rip his clothes off so he could touch and taste and mark him as his own.

And that thought, those images and the way Thor was dressed made his heart rate go higher and higher.

Thor pulled back, watching Loki’s flushed face, heard his ragged breathing.

“And then” he said, turning around and giving Loki another view of his tightly encased rear “I will throw you on the bed and have you until all you can hear, breathe and think is me”

Loki stared at Thor, listened to his words, imagined what he was saying and looked at what Thor was offering, gasped when he reached up, muscles rippling, to free his hair and shake it – it proved too much.

Loki gave a whimper before his eyes rolled back into his head and he fell to the floor with a thud.

Thor gasped and spun around, his eyes going wide when he saw his victim of seduction prone upon the floor.

“Loki!”

***

“Oh come now, Loki” Thor nudged him with his shoulder “enjoy it, this is in your honor”

Dressed in his best, Loki grumbled as he did every single time Thor came near him with that _grin_ on his face.

Apparently it was a big accomplishment for Thor that he had made Loki faint tonight.

Ever since he’d revived Loki, he’d had that smug, stupid looking grin on his face that was making Loki want to punch him.

Now, whenever he came close, Loki would first see that grin on Thor’s face, then see what Thor _looked_ like when he had been dressed so…

Loki shivered and bit his lip, flushing when he recalled it yet again and growling in regret at the thought of how _good_ it could have been.

He took a deep breath, calming himself and reminding the heat rising within him that they were in a crowded ballroom, sitting on the dais with Thor’s _entire family_ , not in their room where Thor could tease him.

…by slowly lifting off the net shirt off his body, letting the imprints of his ribs show, softly, then harder as his arms go higher and higher…

Loki slammed his hand on the chair he occupied.

It delighted Thor to no end, because he seemed proud of himself and sat back in his chair, drinking his mead and focusing on the guests before him.

They were dancing, the music cheerful and light, making them look ethereal.

Thor watched them move about gracefully, turn and spin and laugh with each other for a while before he came upon a decision.

Placing his mead aside he stood and turned to Loki, one hand behind his back as he extended a hand and bowed.

“My Lord” Thor said, smiling “if you would do me the honors of a dance, I would consider it an nobility greater than any ever bestowed upon me.”

Loki blinked at Thor’s hand, then gave the dancing couple a glance, opening his mouth to protest.

“They will make space, worry not, Beloved”

Loki closed his mouth before turning a bright red and slowly taking Thor’s hand.

Odin and Frigga watched with tender smiles on their faces as Thor led Loki down to the floor.

As Thor had said, all of them parted as Thor placed one hand behind his back and held Loki’s aloft with the other.

Standing beside him, Loki did the same and they waited for the music to start.

A lute started up and Thor and Loki began to move, one hand laced together while the other was fisted behind their backs. Their eyes were fixed upon each other and when Loki saw Thor’s smug expression turn soft, he blushed in the candle lights and lowered his gaze.

“Don’t” Thor said softly, moving forward as Loki stepped back “don’t look away. I love it when you look at me.”

That only made Loki turn even brighter and he bit his lip, slowly lifting his gaze to Thor and feeling his face heat up even further.

The tempo of the music changed and they switched hands.

They started to spin around then, slowly, romantically, till nothing remained other than each other. The room turned to colors and blurs and the voices dimmed as all of the guests started to watch them instead of talking.

It seemed to Loki the perfect moment.

Thor blinked when he saw Loki bite his lip shyly before looking at him.

“I love you” Loki whispered very softly, almost just mouthing the words “Thor, my darling, I love you.”

Thor’s reaction was slow.

His face went stunned before he blinked, once, twice, then grinned so brightly at Loki that they heard sounds of women cooing behind them.

Loki blushed when he realized they were in public and continued to dance.

Thor watched him, watched his mouth and his eyes, watched everything about him and realized his heart had stopped breaking.

“Loki” he whispered “I love you, too.”

Loki looked at him before he looked away again, focused on Thor’s shoulder.

The music slowed and came to a stop.

Applause started as the princes reluctantly stopped and Thor pulled Loki over, letting him fix his green gaze on the ground as he leaned over and kissed his forehead.

Loki gave a soft laugh and tried to hide in Thor, but the man pulled back and winked at him.

The other couples started walking over to dance and a rush of sorts came over and women went to men and Loki felt Thor hold hid arms tighter.

“You know…” Loki whispered, playing with Thor’s collar “There is one thing I never got the chance to tell you tonight”

Thor grinned and laughed deeply, looking at him “What, Beloved?”

Loki’s eyes glittered “That I …”

Loki suddenly broke off, gasping when he felt a hand between his legs, a sharp object that touched him from length to buttocks before vanishing. His face went horrified and he grabbed Thor, spinning around to look.

His humiliation vanished when he saw _Tyr_ walking away from him, a lecherous look on his face.

Rage, something Loki had never felt before in his life, rose within him like nothing else.

He had had enough!

Before Thor could stop him, ask him what happened, Loki tore from his husband’s grasp and strode after Tyr.

He grabbed Tyr’s shoulder, spun him around and slapped him _hard_ across the face.

Gasps of shock rose from the crowds, the music stopped and there was pin drop silence in the ballroom.

“I have had enough!” Loki yelled at Tyr “you have crossed the line, you sick bastard and I have had enough!”

His voice echoed in the hall.

“You are beneath me! I am a prince, you dull creature and I will _not_ be bullied by the likes of you!”

He shoved Tyr back, making the man stumble and Thor move into action.

Odin suddenly stood, silencing everything.

“Loki!” he said, his voice emphatic “that is enough.”

Loki looked at him, a few strands of hair falling over his brow “He…”

“Enough!” Odin boomed “I said.”

Thor grabbed Loki’s shoulders and pulled him back.

Tyr had his gaze lowered and a _huge_ grin upon his face.

“Take him away, Thor” Odin said.

“Yes, Father” Thor began to pull Loki away.

Loki stared at Thor, then at Odin in disbelief as he was dragged away like _he_ was the one that was in the wrong.

Tyr watched him go, realizing his plan went better than he had ever thought. His new companion _did_ have a use after all.

He turned with the intention of playing the part of humble warrior, then blinked when he came face to face with Bragi.

The golden eyed warrior looked at him through narrowed slits before he grabbed his hand.

“Escort him to the interrogation chambers, Bragi” Odin’s voice called from above “Balder will accompany you”

Tyr’s gaze went to Balder as he stood and he tried not to worry when he saw ice blue eyes looking at him as Balder came off the dais.

This wasn’t part of the plan.

***

The doors to their chambers were all but banged open under Loki’s rage.

“How dare he!?” Loki yelled, glaring at the floor “He thinks he can get away with anything, that he can _do_ whatever he likes to me!?”

Thor came in at a more sedate pace, closing the doors behind him softly.

“That two face, slimy, sick minded, bastard son of a slut, Aesir bitch!”

Thor raised his brows at Loki’s language.

“There’s an insult to us, somewhere in there” he said calmly.

Loki whirled around to look at him “Why are you so calm?”

Thor shrugged and walked over “You seem to be agitated enough for the both of us.”  

Loki growled and ran frustrated hands through his hair “And in front of all those people…”

Thor came over when he saw Loki begin to crumble.

Loki grasped at his hair and stared at the floor.

“He gets bolder and bolder every time, Thor, I didn’t think … I wanted to see him in pain, I …”

Thor grabbed him and held his back against his chest, kissing his nape.

“They all saw it, they all saw it and they gasped only when I hit him” Loki said, tears filling his eyes “can they not see the wrong done to me? Am I so repulsive that…”

Loki doubled over, hands over his face.

“Is this…” he sobbed “Is this what I will face my whole life?”

Thor shushed him and kissed his shoulder, letting him vent out his rage before he straightened him and spun him around to face him.

Loki wasn’t crying, but his eyes were not dry, either.

“They all saw” Thor said, grabbing his shoulders and speaking to Loki’s profile “they all saw what he did and they all saw you stand up to him.”

Loki blinked and slowly looked back to Thor.

“They were reminded of who you are” Thor continued “They were reminded of who supports you and they now _know_ they cannot hurt you.”

“Your Father…”

“Has to show _some_ decorum” Thor said, smiling at Loki “at my eighteenth year ball, I threw a keg of ail at a maid, knocking her out. Father chided me before all and left me to my room, just like he did to you. Trust me, this is worse than a lecture, but enough for Father. He knows you are a good man and you were pushed too far. Tyr is already in trouble, I can guarantee.”

“How?” Loki asked simply “what stops your Father from punishing me for creating a scene?”

Thor lifted one shoulder in a shrug “He loves you like a son, simple. And if he does say something, if he scolds you, it will be because of that love.”

Thor flicked him under the chin when Loki lowered his head.

“Beloved, this is Asgard” Thor said “we are a volatile people. Losing your temper like you did only shows me that you were made to fit in here.”

Loki didn’t smile.

“And if that isn’t enough” Thor kissed his head “that hit would _certainly_ make it so”

Loki’s lips twitched a little and Thor chuckled.

“A true warrior, they will name you” Thor flicked Loki’s chin again, making him look up “but I will always name you as the one man who fainted when he saw me”

Loki growled and shoved him away “Go away, Thor!”

Thor laughed and followed Loki when he went upstairs “Come on, Loki. It was so endearing”

“It was not!” Loki threw over his shoulder “it was embarrassing!”

“No!” Thor followed “It was the best reaction ever! I felt tickled”

“Go away” Loki went to the wardrobe and pulled out his sleep clothes “and let me take a bath”

“I’ll join you” Thor said promptly “and you can close your eyes while I undress, I do not want you swooning again”

Thor yelped and leapt into the air when a burst of cold magic went right up his rear.

Loki laughed, doubled over, pointing at him “ _That_ was the best reaction ever!”

Thor growled and ran over to him.

Loki gave a squeak and leapt away, running to the washroom to lock himself in.

Thor caught him and Loki gave a high pitched laugh.

“Thor!” he cried, kicking and struggling halfheartedly “Let me go!”

“Not until I make you swoon again” Thor carried him into the washroom and kicked the doors shut.

***

Thor coaxed Loki into the bath with him.

Thor was confident as he washed Loki and Loki was shy and unsure, clinging and hiding, as Thor cleaned him, touching him everywhere and making him squirm and wriggle.

True, he had been washed before, but he hadn’t been coherent then. This way, he could _feel_ and see everything Thor did to him.

Thor was almost purring like a panther, that was how content he was as he and Loki occupied the single person bath as they just – played.

Thor growled and reached for Loki, pulling him into his lap and making him straddle it before he craned his neck and pursed his lips for a kiss.

Loki rolled his eyes and obliged and Thor moaned. He blinked when Loki pulled back and grinned.

“Say it to me, again” Thor said “Beloved, say that you love me again”

Loki hummed and kissed Thor’s cheek “That you love me again”

“Loki…” Thor whined like a child “Please”

Loki lifted his head and looked down into Thor’s eyes “No”

Thor’s hands went to Loki’s waist and his blue eyes glittered “I can make you”

Loki raised a brow “Go right ahead and try”

Thor accepted the challenge before he reached down and grabbed Loki’s length in his battle worn palm.

Loki gasped sharply and threw his head back, his mouth open as he choked, eyes shut.

“Thor…” he panted, the sound tapering off into a needy whine.

“Say it”

Loki bit his lip and moaned, shaking his head.

“Well, then” Thor pulled an arm around Loki’s waist as he kept pumping him, eliciting gasps and whimpers of pleasure from Loki “I’ll just have to try harder, then, yes?”

He gave Loki a squeeze and Loki gasped loudly, panting as he rested his head on Thor’s shoulders, digging his nails in.

“Thor, please…”

“Three little words, Beloved” Thor hummed, playing with him, making Loki shudder “just say them…”

Loki bit his lips, shaking his head, whimpering and shuddering in pleasure.

Thor laughed, feeling the challenge rise.

“I see”

***

The bed was wet beneath him, but Loki didn’t care.

Thor traced his toned muscles, his stomach, his chest with a finger as he lay beside him, levered on one elbow, looking down at him.

Loki lay on his back, head turned as he watched Thor with wide green eyes, still as silent as the night, still not giving Thor what he wanted.

Thor raked his nails down the insides of Loki’s thighs and made him shudder, kissing him deeply to stifle the sound before he reached inwards and tapped Loki’s passage.

Loki nodded and a moment later, a vial of sweet smelling oil fell on the bed beside Thor.

The god of Thunder wasted no time as he sat up and got between Loki’s legs.

Thor watched Loki carefully as he inserted two fingers into him, watched his reactions.

He watched as he spread him open, watched Loki curl his toes and arch his neck back, watched the rapid heaving of his pale chest, his hands fist into the sheets and he was _hypnotized_ by the sight of Loki’s wet, red mouth parted on soundless screams.

“Loki?” he asked as he pulled his fingers out, seeking permission.

“Yes…” Loki panted, whining and lifting his hips.

That broke him.

He rut into Loki in earnest now, the pleasure was _burning_ him _intensely_ but he didn’t stop. He couldn’t stop, not when Loki was so perfect.

Soft gasps escaped him as Thor pounded into him, his hands fisted in the sheets, pulling them as he moaned louder and louder, as Thor rocked him, held him down and had his way with him.

And Loki arched against him, murmuring his name, touching him and raking his slick body with his nails and asking for more, gasping and writhing for _more_!

Thor heard him. Every moan, every sensual, silky movement spoke to him and he obeyed. 

He moved within him and kissed him roughly, leaving his red lips even darker, he marked his neck, biting him so hard Loki cried out. Then he laved his tongue over it, soothing him before he kissed his chest, bit down his arms, his teeth nipped and his lips soothed.

His rhythm never wavered. 

“Yes…Thor, yes, please…”

The headboard banged against the wall behind them, an enunciation of their passion. Loki clawed at

Thor’s back, making him bleed as Thor rammed into him with more and more stunning _power_.

“Thor!”

Loki went taut, his back arching against Thor’s chest, his eyes tormented as his release broke over him, painting both Thor and himself as he came. He fell back, shuddering, being rocked as Thor kept on moving inside him.

He didn’t think he would be able to take more and whined, grabbing Thor’s arms when he grasped his slim hips.

After he thrust in and out, after Loki was left limp and breathless and undone, Thor shouted his own release and fell on top of his beloved, smiling when he was wrapped in pale arms.

“I love you, Thor, I love you”

***

It was nearing dawn when the first fruit seller came to the village square, setting her wares carefully and precisely upon the cart, lifting a few crates and placing them by the wheels so that it didn’t trail off when she served a customer.

It was dark still, the shadows dancing over the walls, the people that moved about were few, save for farmers and others.

They bought from her, thanked her and paid her in full. She had the best fruit and they had an appetite she need to fill.

A few high ranking royals, invited to the party last night also moved here and there, and she leaned forward, waving to them, asking them over.

Clearly returning from a night of private parties and tumbling in the woods, they walked over and bought from her, thanked her before going on their merry ways.

It was very peaceful, calm and serene, the picture, so when the ear piercing scream shot to the skies, it jolted everyone.

The fruit seller, a few farmers and the warriors about ran to the source, to the fountain at the center of the village.

A young woman was on the ground, her gaze fixed upon the statue that wielded a sword and pointed it to the sky.

They paled in horror when they saw what she did.

General to the army, a Jotun slayer and one of Odin’s best, Tyr hung impaled upon the sword, blood dripping and turning the crimson water darker.

His eyes were focused on nothing as he stared listlessly past the world he’d been forced to leave.    


	22. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the title says

Sunlight blanketed the royal city now, falling over it like molten gold upon its mold.

It was a stark contrast against the blue skies and it would have been perfect had it not been for the body impaled upon the statue, seeping blood into the fountain in the streets of the Realms Eternal.

It was a horror that was spared to those still asleep, waiting instead, to pounce on them upon waking.

And like most spared, the two lovers, who were the talk of all Asgard at the moment, slowly woke as one caressed the other as they lay spooned together.

Thor hummed, louder when Loki lifted a shoulder to shrug him off as he nuzzled his neck, and laughed.

“I knew you were awake”

Loki gave a lazy snigger “No, I’m not, leave me alone”

He closed his eyes to sleep again and groaned in half hearted irritation when Thor continued to nuzzle him.

He curled up, trying to get Thor to stop and laughed when Thor grabbed his wrists and crossed his arms over his chest under them before he continued to kiss him, trying to get at his mouth.

“Thor!” Loki laughed, struggling half heartedly “I’m asleep!”

Thor guffawed and moved over Loki, chuckling when Loki gave a laughing shriek and turned his face in the sheets.

“You will never kiss me” 

Loki’s voice rose, muffled, from under him.

Thor grumbled in laughter and an idea popped into his head.

He lowered his head and began to nuzzle between Loki’s shoulder blades, setting his weight further on Loki when he squirmed.

“Thor!”

Thor held him down, careful to hear him if he wanted Thor to stop, and smiled when he heard the laughter in Loki’s voice.

“Be quiet” Thor said, mock firmly “You love it”

“I can’t breathe”

Thor laughed loudly and kissed the back of his neck, his shoulders, pinning him down when Loki squirmed.

“Thor!”

“Hush, Beloved” Thor kissed his spine again “I’ll make it better”

He kissed down his spine, smiling when Loki went perfectly still.

“I knew you were…”

Thor broke off, horror paling him when he realized what Loki had said.

“Loki?” Thor scrambled off him, letting him go and looking down at his back as he lay facedown and unmoving.

When he received no response, Thor moved, immediately turning Loki over.

Thor’s jaw slackened when he saw Loki’s eyes closed and his head turned to the side. His chest wasn’t moving.

Thor’s heart started to hammer within his chest and then simply stopped when he raised a hand to touch Loki.

“L – Loki?” Thor whispered, voice stuttering.

A choked noise escaped Thor when Loki didn’t respond.

“Loki!”

The shrill cry tore through Thor’s throat; raw and broken. Tears drowned Thor’s eyes as he looked at Loki, unmoving and still.

Fear clutched him, sinking its claws into his skin and tearing him apart slowly, as it mounted.

“Loki!!” Thor’s panicked scream echoed in their room.

Loki’s eyes opened instantly and he shot up, looking at Thor in disbelief.

“Thor!” Loki threw his arms around Thor’s shoulders, holding him close “No, Thor, it was a joke, I was pretending!”

Thor gave a loud sob and grabbed tighter Loki, pulling him close, squeezing him and burying his face in Loki’s neck.

Relief, so much relief and hope broke through Thor’s fear as he held Loki to his chest.

He’d thought…

For a moment he thought he was going to die because Loki hadn’t been…

Loki was…

“That wasn’t funny” Thor complained when Loki held him close.

“I’m sorry” Loki said instantly embracing Thor tighter “I know it wasn’t funny, I’m so sorry”

Thor sniffed loudly and wreaked a heavy sob.

“You idiot” his voice broke.

“I know” Loki said softly, cupping the back of Thor’s head “I’m an idiot, that wasn’t funny, I’m so sorry”

Thor lifted his head and placed it instead on Loki’s shoulder.

“Don’t ever do that to me again” Thor said firmly “don’t you _ever_ do that to me again”

“I won’t, I’m sorry”

Loki blinked when Thor pulled back and bit his lip in guilt when he saw the tear tracks running down Thor’s cheeks.

And he knew, because of the sheer _pain_ that went through his heart, why Thor took the threat of Loki crying so seriously.

He raised a hand and wiped them away, looking into those eyes as they filled with tears again.

He didn’t think he could stand seeing it.

“Stop” Loki whispered, his voice thick “Stop crying, Thor, I can’t stand to see you like this”

Thor blinked and the tears fell and Loki swallowed loudly.

“Enough” Loki wiped them away as well and embraced Thor again “I said, enough”

Thor’s arms went around his beloved and the pain in his heart started to fade.

He remained clinging to Loki for a long while before he pulled back and looked down at him. He gave Loki a watery smile and kissed his forehead.

“You need to make it up to me, now”

“Anything” Loki whispered, placing his hands on Thor’s chest “just say it and I will do it.”

Thor smirked “Anything?”

Loki slit his gaze “We’ll see”

“Truly?” Thor raised a hand and stroked his knuckles down Loki’s cheek, then jaw, then throat, smiling when Loki tipped his head back “you will deny me after what you did?”

Loki rolled his eyes dramatically “Alright, what do you want?”

“Well…” Thor cupped the back of Loki’s neck and made him look at his blue eyes “One of the things you could…”

The door to their rooms banged open and instantly Thor put himself before Loki lifting the sheets up for modesty.

“Thor!”

Loki paled at Balder’s frantic voice.

“Over here!” Thor stood to wrap a sheet around him and Loki remained in bed, pulling the covers up to his chin

“What’s wrong?” Thor asked, moving to the stairs.

Balder ran up, his clothes hastily donned, and looked at Thor’s face.

“Tyr’s been murdered”

Loki gasped in horror, going as white as a sheet.

“And they just arrested Bragi”

***

Loki was dressing, hurriedly pulling on his coat as he came down the stairs.

Thor and Balder were already there, talking.

When he saw him, Balder gestured to Thor and nodded. Loki frowned, then watched uncertainly as Thor approached him.

“Loki, you cannot come with me”

Alarm went through Loki. He looked at Balder, then back at Thor and  swallowed before speaking cautiously.

“Why not?”

Thor licked his lips, hesitant “Loki, after last night … when you slapped Tyr… Balder and Bragi took him away before everyone but … you were truly furious and everyone…”

Loki’s eyes widened and the blood drained from his face.

“They think I killed him”

Thor pulled his lips inwards.

“I didn’t!” Loki said, his face stricken as he grabbed Thor’s arms “I didn’t kill him, I …”

“We know” Balder said kindly, approaching him “But it would still be safer if you remain indoors”

“Safer?” Loki stared at him, heart racing “Will someone attack me?”

“No, not at all” Thor held Loki’s arms and made him face him “Loki, no one is going to touch you…”

“But we need to be cautious”

“W – What…Where do I go?” Loki asked, turning to Thor.

“Stay here” Thor said “Balder will remain with you until I can send either Fandral or someone else I trust”

“Idunn” Loki swallowed “Please send Idunn”

Thor nodded “Alright, Beloved, alright”

He leaned over and kissed Loki’s mouth.

“All will be well, my love, I will get to the bottom of this” he promised and pulled back.

Loki let him go slowly, running his hands down Thor’s arms and grasping his hands momentarily before reluctantly letting go.

His eyes were worried as Thor turned, telling Balder to keep him safe before he left the room.

Loki stood watching the door for a while before Balder cleared his throat and got his attention. He was pulling out a chair and gesturing Loki to sit in it.

Loki took a deep breath, realized he hadn’t had breakfast and nodded, coming to sit at the table and bury his face in his hands a few moments later.

Balder sighed and walked over to sit in the chair beside him and placed a hand on Loki’s shoulder.

“Don’t worry, we wont…”

He broke off as Loki straightened and discreetly shrugged his hand off.

Instantly, he was reminded of what had happened two days prior and he backed off, awkwardly licking his lips.

“Listen, Loki…”

“Can we…” Loki swallowed, flushing a deep, deep red “not talk about this? I feel terrible enough already, I cannot …  cannot talk about _that_.”

Balder made to say something, but he lowered his head and nodded instead.

“As you wish”

There was another long silence.

Loki swallowed twice before speaking “What … what happened?”

Balder sighed  “A few people found him, impaled upon a statue, the one we saw in the square, do you remember?”

Loki nodded

“There” Balder said “I don’t know why, but this morning they dragged Bragi away”

Loki looked at him and shook his head “It doesn’t make sense to me. Why take him when they suspect…?”

Balder looked away then and Loki knew he wasn’t telling him something.

Something that had made Thor leave them here and go deal with it, something other than the fact that Loki was suspected of murdering Tyr.

“Balder” Loki swallowed loudly before he turned to the man “What aren’t you telling me?”

Balder spared him a glance and looked away, biting his lips.

“Balder?” Loki asked

Balder leveled his gaze to the floor “I can’t tell you”

And the chill that went through Loki at those words was actually worse than what he had expected being framed for murder would be like.

“Why not?” Loki asked “Balder, please tell me”

But Balder shook his head and stood, walking away.

“Balder!” Loki followed him and grabbed his arm, turning him back “Tell me!”

“I cannot” Balder pulled away from him “It will not matter in a few hours, anyway”

“If it doesn’t matter, then what’s the harm in telling me?” Loki countered.

“There is far too much damage Loki, drop it” Balder said sternly.

“It cannot be the way you are making me imagine” Loki said, grabbing his arm again “Balder, just…”

It had been a hard day for him, and last night he had gotten almost no sleep. His head was spinning, half with what had happened and half with the fear of Bragi harming someone again. he knew there was no chance of Bragi killing Tyr, but there was a thought, an idea of an idea planted in Balder’s head about how maybe, there _was_ a chance that Bragi had done it. And if that were the case, Balder realized he was suddenly not as protected as he’d previously thought he was.  

These thoughts, coupled with what he had seen and heard on his way here, the whispers he had heard and Loki’s awkward company after that kiss, their second kiss, and his sudden desire to _hurt_ those responsible for harming Loki all culminated together and made him do something he rarely did.

Balder lost his temper.

He spun around when Loki grabbed his arm and yanked it out from Loki’s grasp violently.

“I said, drop it!” he snarled “Can’t you understand something so simple, Loki!?”

Loki gasped and leapt back, staring at Balder with wide, disbelieving eyes.

He stepped back under Balder’s gaze, swallowing loudly and flinching when Balder climbed the stairs and went to their balcony to cool off.

Loki realized his hand was shaking and slowly lowered it, to grab the edge of his coat and turned, going demurely to ring for a maid before sitting at his place, silent and still.

Balder didn’t come back down, but some time later, there was a perfunctory knock on his chambers doors and Idunn walked inside.

“Greetings” she smiled, skipping over “I heard you called me”

“Yes” Loki rasped, then cleared his throat and stood “I wanted to know if you would have breakfast with me”

“I would be honored” she bowed low, then stood “Now, excuse me a moment”

Loki furrowed his brow and watched as she skipped up the stairs right to where Balder was.

He didn’t recall telling her where he was, but he shrugged and tried to work off the chill that was still going through him.

When Balder had yelled at him, it had reminded him of the time he nearly _hit_ him back at the camp and brought back with it the _fear_ of how strong these men were and how easily they could break him should it ever come to pass that Loki was pitted against them.

It was frightening and more than a little intimidating so the smile he gave Leah was somewhat forced.

And apparently, she noticed.

She curtsied to him and waited for him to sit before she set a mat before him.

“You know” she said causally “Those that suffer the most hardships often rise higher then anyone else”  
Loki frowned and looked at her

“What?”

Leah smiled “You are strong, my Lord. There will not  be any peril that you cant overcome. This is nothing but an idiots way to express his own stupid mind”

“What are you talking about?”

Leah realized her mistake a little late and her eyes widened a moment.

“Oh, nothing” she stepped back to get platters “I should…”

“No, wait” Loki followed her “Leah, please, tell me what is going on”

“I’d rather not” she said, giving him a glance over her shoulder “Prince Thor will not like it”

“He wont know, now tell me” Loki said, gently grabbing her arm.

Leah sighed and bit his lip before she shook her head.

“The dining hall” she said, then grabbed Loki’s wrist as he made to run “but do not tell…”

“I will not” Loki assured her, laying his hand upon hers “I swear”

She still looked uneasy, but she nodded and let him go.

Loki sprinted to the doors, pulled them open and ran outside, trying to discover _what_ the hell was going on.

***

**LAST NIGHT**

Tyr growled as he stumbled forth, slamming into the table.

He turned and looked behind him, to the two men that had brought him into this room.

The Prince and the Bastard.

He scoffed when Balder closed the door and latched it shut and grinned at them.

“Odinsons…” he laughed, keeping himself infuriating, just like his new comrade, one Baelfire, had told him to “This is all just a big…”

Bragi’s fist rammed in his jaw, breaking off his sentence.

Balder yelled him surprise and Tyr flew back, hitting the wall and falling against it.

“Stop!” Balder ran forward and grabbed Bragi’s arms and pulled him back “This is _not_ we came here to do”

Bragi moved against him for a moment, only, before he stopped.

Balder let go and stepped back immediately, watching Bragi as he straightened.

Balder was a brave man, a warrior and a fighter, scared of nothing and capable of looking death in the eyes.

But the way Bragi straightened and looked at Tyr, the way he seemed to use only his eyes to intimidate, made him a fearsome thing to behold and Balder felt a chill go up his spine at the sight.

Bragi’s face was cold where Tyr was sneering at him as the golden eyed warrior approached.

“Balder”

The prince looked up instantly. Few used that tone with him, fewer still called him by his name.

Bragi was neither group and it chilled his bones further when he spoke.

“No matter what you see here” Bragi had said over his shoulder “you will not tell anyone”

Balder slowly felt the color leave his face and Tyr’s sneer began to diminish.

“Understand?” Bragi asked.

“Yes”

Tyr choked as Bragi grabbed his throat and lifted him clean off the ground.

Balder made a soft noise and moved forward.

“Do not interrupt me” Bragi said, stopping Balder in his tracks.

A golden glow started from Bragi’s arm and went higher, till it hovered over his hand, just a scant millimeter from Tyr’s throat.

“Now, you pay” Bragi said

Tyr’s eyes went wide a moment later and he choked when the spell went inside his throat.

***

Balder didn’t think he could take anymore.

The screaming had long since stopped, but the way Tyr was writhing on the floor, choking and pulling at his own hair, arching his back in pain, eyes wide and horrified as he was lost in the torment Bragi placed him in.

Balder looked away when Tyr bowed his back so much he thought he would break his spine.

Bragi on the other hand remained cool and calm, perched on the table as he watched Tyr in the throes if his nightmare.

“You know, this is just the beginning” Bragi told him calmly, examining his fingers “this is nothing compared to what will happen if you don’t answer me properly.”

Tyr moaned loudly, curling up and kicking like an animal.

Balder kept his gaze on the floor and longed to cover his ears.

There were tears in his eyes already.

Bragi scoffed, and snapped his fingers.

A loud, screaming gasp echoed in the room and Tyr stopped his horrified twitching.

Balder took a deep breath and turned to see.

He looked away when he saw that Tyr had wet himself.

“Now” Bragi said, standing and walking over, smirking when Tyr slid back “Now that you have pissed yourself and lost all dignity you can possibly use, former _General_ , tell me everything I want to know”

And, to Balder’s shock and horror, Tyr obeyed like a whisper instead of a man.

It was frightening to see Tyr reduced to this and Balder could only watch as he spilled all the secrets he never would have done had it been anyone else.

But it was Bragi that listened to him, Bragi that pulled forth information and Bragi who, after an hour of excruciating interrogation, turned to Balder and read Balder’s thoughts.

 _They were in trouble_.

***

**NOW**

Loki ran down the corridors, ignoring everyone that either called to him or stared at him. He pushed through those that refused to move and leapt on further and further.

The dining hall was ahead and he could already see a large group of servants moving about.

He frowned when he realized they carried soap and water and sponges with them as they moved in and out.

For a moment he thought that Leah had lied to him, because nothing remotely sinister was going on.

But then he heard Thor’s voice and he sped up.

A few people saw him approach and were stunned, the rest tried to stop him.

But Loki dodged them and ran through the doors, slipping a little on the wet, soapy floors before he came to a horrified stop.

And he _knew_ what Balder was talking about.

He wished instantly that he hadn’t come.

There, painted on the walls and written in _blood_ were words that chilled Loki’s rapidly beating heart.

 _Kill Bragi’s Jotun whore_.

And drawn under those words, painted high on the walls where it required ladders to clean and scrub were the remnants of a mural.

Though the servants had washed most of it off, Loki could make out what the two figures were drawn and he felt sick.

It was Loki, drawn so perfectly he _knew_ there was magic involved, lying on his back as Bragi thrust within him, his back arched and perfectly drawn.

Loki’s face was twisted in agony as he was forced to take the length of another washed off, faceless being in his mouth.

There was blood pooled around them, implying that Loki was not enjoying this.

Loki placed a hand over his mouth as a terrified cry tore from his throat and he placed an arm around his abdomen as the pain and disgust hit him making him double over.

“Loki!”

Loki heard Thor’s voice echo as the room began to spin and a few moments later, he felt him collide with him.

“Get him out of here!” Odin’s voice overlapped in Loki’s ears and everything had started to blur.

He felt his hands cling to Thor and he felt Thor lift him into his arms to carry away.

To Loki’s surprise, he felt cool air on his face and he felt Thor hold him tighter.

Thor was running, Loki could feel his ragged breathing and he pushed himself closer, burrowing into the warmth Thor offered and willing to stay there till he died.

But, alas, he wasn’t so lucky and soon he felt Thor rush into a shaded area, holding Loki to his chest like the precious thing he was.

Thor fell on his knees, suddenly, but he didn’t release Loki.

“Why …” Thor panted, looking ahead “Why did you … come?”

Loki didn’t respond.

“Why did you …” Thor gasped and fell back, sitting carelessly on the ground, legs spread out as he held Loki “…have to see that?”

Loki watched his own fingers as he played with the front of Thor’s tunic, clearly in shock.

“You couldn’t have …” Thor rubbed his lips in Loki’s hair “listened to me?”

Loki swallowed and frowned “It doesn’t matter, they’ll kill me soon”

Thor froze and looked down, at Loki’s placid face, at the casual way he had said it.

“Loki?” he asked, gently placing Loki down and moving to look him in his face “W – what did you say?”

Loki scoffed “Didn’t you see?”

Thor felt his heart stop at the limp, lifeless way Loki gestured to the castle.

“You know what they want to do to me, Thor” Loki talked to him like Thor was something stupid “Why don’t you just let them rape me to death and let all this trouble go?”

“Loki!” Thor yelled at him and shook him violently “What is the matter with you!? I would never let them…”

“Why not?” Loki asked, still out of character “It would be so easy for you, all this scandal, this drama, all this agony you have to go through…”

The rest of his sentence was taken by Thor’s mouth as the other forced him to lie back, grabbing his wrists when Loki started to hit him.

Loki broke off the kiss and Thor lifted his head to see tears in his eyes.

“I love you, Loki!”

“You should have let me go” Loki accused him, tears falling down his cheeks “You should never have brought me here!”

Thor stared, stunned, as Loki all but yelled at him. He blinked when Loki started to cry.

“I was fine there!” Loki suddenly sobbed “I was fine, why did you bring me to these people that want to … that want me …”

Loki then gave a howl of agony and fell back.

“Why did you bring me here?” Loki sobbed and it broke Thor’s heart.

“I am tired of this, Thor” Loki wept when Thor lifted him to his chest “I am tired of everyone going against me and trying to kill me or trying to…”

He broke off into a series of sobs and Thor let him hide his face in his shoulder.

His moods had staggered Thor, frightened him more than anything else could have possibly done, and he held Loki tighter, coming to a decision he should have come to long ago.

He needed to get Loki out of Asgard.

***

_”It wasn’t meant to be this way. I was doing just as Odin said, looking for the remaining royals, searching for the army Fabauti had supposedly started. I didn’t mean to …”_ __  
  


_“Betray?”_ __  
  


_“No! I never betrayed, I …”_ __  
  


_“You did”_ __  
  


_“No, I did not, I swear!”_ __  
  


_“You went against Odin’s orders, conspired against a prince, one of our own, and you aligned yourself with…”_ __  
  


_“She came to me!”_ __  
  


_“You didn’t turn her away, did you?”_ __  
  


_“She is a witch!”_ __  
  


_“And you expect me to believe that the magnificent General was afraid?”_ __  
  


_“She knows cruel magic, I had no choice!”_ __  
  


_“I know terrifying magic, you have no choice here, either”_ __  
  


_“She is cruel”_ __  
  


_“And I’m sadistic. Now tell me what happened after she came to you and found you in the blizzard.”_ __  
  


_“She said she had a way to make me more glorious than even Thor. She said that Odin will see what I am capable of when she hands me the glory I want”_ __  
  


_“And you believed her”_ __  
  


_“She had an ally. Someone who was Jotun and someone who had promised me Helbindi’s head and Farbauti himself. One came with the other, I was dying!”_ __  
  


_“You’ve survived blizzards before, General, that is no excuse. What happened then?”_ __  
  


_“She took me to a cave and we talked. She told me about a lover she had lost and I told her how much I despised the Odinsons because they were nothing but spoiled brats under a king’s name! I hate you, the entire lot, so yes, I jumped at the chance to rise above you like I knew I could”_ __  
  


_“Please, you could never be better than us. Now enough of that, who was the companion?”_ __  
  


_“An Aesir. His name is Baelfire and he lost his brother when the thousand Aesir were killed that night. He wanted retribution and I introduced him to Robert Daregate. Both of them came up with a plan to bring Loki down a few pegs, humiliate him and eventually desecrate him. In return for helping them, they would have handed me…”_ __  
  


_“Helbindi, I know, you already made it clear that you wanted his head. So they were using both of you?”_ __  
  


_“They were using the others. I was part of their alliance”_ __  
  


_“So, what changed?”_ __  
  


_“Their demands. They wanted me to humiliate Loki, to make him cry, hurt him and destroy him. I realized halfway through that they were using me”_ __  
  


_“So did you try and leave?”_ __  
  


_“No”_ __  
  


_“Because she had magic”_ __  
  


_“Because she is cruel!”_ __  
  


_“And what of the attack where Balder got injured? Or what about what happened to Thor?”_ __  
  


_“She wasn’t supposed to do that. We told her to wait, but when he heard the rumors, she started to lose patience”_ __  
  


_“So you abandoned her?”_ __  
  


_“She was becoming a problem”_ __  
  


_“Then you went to Loki and demanded Helbindi again? Primitive thinking”_ __  
  


_“I want my glory”_ __  
  


_“You will have nothing. You destroyed all chance you had at glory when you confessed to me. Now you will lose everything else”_ __  
  


_“You made me confess, you bastard”_ __  
  


_“You forced my hand in this. You might think this is revenge, but know that this is anything but. You crossed a line you shouldn’t have, you thought yourself untouchable and that was where you went wrong”_ __  
  


_“All I wanted…”_ __  
  


_“Was glory, yes I heard you the first dozen times you blabbed it out and I still do not care. Tell me their plan, tell me how you intend on carrying out your glory and how she gets to carry out her own plan”_ __  
  


_“I do not know. They were supposed to tell me tonight after…”_ __  
  


_“After they used you”_ __  
  


_“Aye, Amora will escape tonight and…”_ __  
  


_“She can’t escape. Odin himself placed wards on the glass”_ __  
  


_“Aye, but what Odin can’t see, he cannot stop. We have been having our meetings well enough”_ __  
  


_“Anyone can talk from outside the glass, there is nothing that wench won’t do for company”_ __  
  


_“There is nothing she won’t do to kill those that have wronged her. She is a witch and she will escape. And then she will implement a plan.”_ __  
  


_“And what of you?”_ __  
  


_“What about me? I am a disgraced General with no chance at glory and Asgard will exile me”_ __  
  


_“Not necessarily”_ __  
  


_“Please, do not give me hope where there is none. You brought me here only to humiliate me and you have done that, you wanted answers and you got those, you have nothing to gain from doing me good.”_ __  
  


_“I will gain a spy. Tell me what they speak and where they live…”_ __  
  


_“I already told you I do not know where he came from”_ __  
  


_“And I will make sure no one will touch you or shame you”_ __  
  


_“I do not believe you”_ __  
  


_“And I do not care. Do this and you will gain all you lost, leave it and suffer the wrath of Odin’s sons”_ __  
  


_“You are not his son, you are his bastard”_ __  
  


_“I wasn’t referring to myself. And keep up this insolence and I might just save everyone the trouble and kill you here”_ __  
  


_Bragi had scoffed at Tyr’s expression and repeated the words._ __  
  


_I will kill you …._

In hindsight, he could have been a little less stupid.

He was in the cells now, bent over with his hands tied behind his back. He knelt before the man standing in front of him, looking down at him like the father he never was to him.

“Did you kill him?” Odin asked.

Bragi scoffed at the ground “We both know if I wanted to kill him, he would never have been found.”

“He had traces of magic in his skin, magic destined to torture” Odin said “Your magic, Bragi”

“I know” Bragi said, still kneeling “I used that on him to gain answers.”

“What of the blood in your chambers?”

“Planted” Bragi said.

“I have witnesses claiming you wanted to kill him” Odin said “all those prisoners that Loki released that day vow that you threatened to kill Tyr.”

“Then they are lying”

“All of them?” Odin asked “And you alone stand for the truth”

“Not alone” Bragi said “I have two brothers that will come for me”

Odin blinked at that, surprised.

“They believe in me” Bragi looked at Odin “They know I didn’t kill him. They will come for me and they will prove my innocence”

“I cannot order this away like last time, Bragi”

“You have to do nothing, my Lord” Bragi said “I have my brothers”

Odin didn’t know whether to be stunned or proud, so he nodded.

“If you’re sure”

“You have a trial to get to” Bragi said “Do not be late and do not fight for me. You should stand against me, let my brothers sway you, King, do _not_ fight for me”

Odin nodded “Aye”

Then he leaned down, crouched before Bragi and placed a hand under his jaw, lifting his head up.

Odin placed a kiss on Bragi’s forehead and brushed his air back.

“Aye” he said again as he stood “my son”

***

Loki was sleeping.

Thor sat beside him on the bed, watching his sad, curled form and brushing hair back off his forehead.

His cheeks were still slightly pink, evidence of his sorrow, and Thor stroked one high cheekbone with his thumb.

Downstairs, he heard Balder and Idunn talking softly so as not to disturb Loki.

When Loki sighed in his sleep and curled a hand in the sheets, Thor leaned over and kissed his temple before he got up and left.

He walked downstairs silently and gave both his brother and Idunn a smirk.

“He’s sleeping” Thor whispered “and I would rather keep it that way. Balder, how … what time do we have to go the Council room?”

“Ten minutes, Thor” Balder said, looking at the sun “Can we have enough evidence?”

Thor shook his head “Nay, there is nothing for us but the truth. I will get that”

“What about me?” Balder asked, watching Thor walk away.

“Stall” Thor said over his shoulder “I need half an hour, brother, just stall them”

“And _how_ am I supposed to do that?” Balder asked loudly.

Idunn shushed him and slapped the back of his head “Loki’s sleeping!”

Balder growled and followed Thor out.

“Thor, wait!”

“I cannot” Thor lifted Mjolnir and went to the nearest window “Every moment we spent talking is going against Bragi. Stall them brother, do not let them sentence Bragi to death. He is innocent, I know he is.”

Balder kept his mouth shut.

“Trust me, Balder”

With that, Thor rose to the skies, higher and higher until he vanished into the sun and Balder had to look away.

“Damn” Balder muttered before he turned and walked down the hall, going to do the one thing he never thought he would do.

He was going to save Bragi.

He was going to save the element of his nightmares.

Sighing, he walked away from the window and made his way to the stairs that would lead him out of the Royal Apartments and down to where Bragi was being held.

The servants knew that it was wiser to keep out of the way of their First Prince as he stormed down the halls, growling to himself.

The guards he met along the way, cleared a path for him but Balder neither spoke nor looked at them as he passed Asgard’s castle to go to the cells.

He arrived there at a good enough time, still in a strange, uncertain mood, glaring at the ground.

He pushed open the doors and walked in, giving the guards a glower.

“Leave us” Balder said “I wish to talk to him alone”

The guards gave each other confused looks and turned to the murderer they guarded.

The man had possibly killed Tyr; one of the best, a legend in Asgard.

Leaving him with Balder could prove dangerous.

“Majesty…” one of them spoke up “I think it is unwise to leave you alone with…”

It angered Balder for some reason.

“Are you implying that my skills as a warrior are lacking?” he rasped “If he truly wanted to escape, your necks would be broken and you would lay dying before you realize what had happened. Now leave”

The guards were still hesitant, but a royal order was given, so they bowed and left, walking to the doors as Balder looked after them and closing them with a dull, resonating bang.

“It is unwise to be in my company, brother” Bragi addressed the floor as he knelt “I am a murderer, by all rights, and can surely cause you great harm”

Balder turned to Bragi and raised a brow.

“Who said I was wise?”

Bragi gave a surprised laugh and looked up.

“Why do you kneel?”

“I’m a convict” Bragi said “This is how we remain”

“Surely you can get up” Balder said.

“Not as long as the door remains closed and I do not think you are stupid enough to open it for me”

Balder glowered at him “I could release you if I want, I am in no danger”

“If you say so” Bragi said and lifted his head as much as he could “but I wonder if you would truly release me. Surely it pleases you to see me so, especially after our tainted history”

Balder paled and swallowed loudly “That was a long time ago”

“And yet you still pale” Bragi pointed out “I told you it is unwise to be with me, leave Balder, save your heart the trouble of racing so”

Balder’s hands fisted “I am _not_ afraid of you”

Bragi lowered his head again and laughed.

“Liar”

Balder stilled.

“You are terrified of me. If I wasn’t tied up and forced to kneel, you would not have stayed in the room for more than a moment.”

“That is not true”

“It is” Bragi stated “You still think I will hurt you”

“You cannot hurt me”

“I _will_ not hurt you” Bragi corrected him “do not mistake the two”

“Why?”

“Why what?” Bragi asked.

“You poisoned me” Balder said “Why?”

Bragi laughed again “I never poisoned you, Balder, you that as well as I. would you think your father would have let me live if I had”

“You were there, you were there and your drank that …”

“Guilty by association, then” Bragi said “That drink was for me, I told you. I just picked up the wrong one”

“You forced me to go with you”

“Have you ever considered the fact that I was frightened of that woman?” Bragi asked the floor “That I didn’t wish to go there alone?”

“I have” Balder said, pacing and looking at Bragi “but I keep thinking about the way you spoke to her, manipulated her. You could not have been afraid”

“I was” Bragi said “just like you are now”

“I am _not_ afraid!” Balder yelled at him.

“No matter how loudly the wind howls,” Bragi said “it is just wind, nothing solid”

Balder growled and came over, hitting the bars with his palms “I am not afraid! I am a warrior of Asgard, a prince! I will not be afraid of you”

“’Will not’ and ‘am not’ are two different things, Balder”

“Enough!”

Balder walked to where the keys were placed and lifted them.

“Look at me when you talk to me”

“Is that the Odinson arrogance that speaks to me?” Bragi asked as Balder returned “That is a stupid move, Balder, do not open this cell”

“I’ll do what I please” Balder said “and Norns help me, right now it seems I am damning myself”

“How so?” Bragi asked as Balder tried the keys.

“I am fighting for you” Balder replied, hissing in irritation when he lifted the wrong key “You didn’t kill Tyr and we need to know who did”

“Perhaps his missing comrades?” Bragi suggested “Talk to Amora”

“She is where she is, I can do that later” Balder hissed again.

There were a few moments of silence as Balder tried the keys again and again, before Balder spoke again.

“You like to intimidate me”

“Only if need be” Bragi said “I saw how you look at Loki, Balder, and I will get in your path”

“I love Idunn” Balder stated.

“Yet you lust for him” Bragi said “Stop it, or I will”

Balder shuddered again and finally found the correct key.

He didn’t put it in, though.

“W – what if …” Balder broke off and licked his lips “Are you truly innocent?”

“Yes” Bragi said “I did not kill him”

The lock clacked open.

Bragi heaved in long denied breath, falling to his side and panting as his lungs were given the air they couldn’t take in. His eyes watered in the pain that went through his spine as it straightened, and he gasped.

Balder didn’t move to help, he just watched as the magic lifted off Bragi and he could move.

“Are you alright?” he asked

“I’m alive” Bragi said, falling on his back “and well enough to kill you if I so wished”

Balder involuntarily stepped back, then glared at him.

“You are not helping your case”

“Neither are you when you cower like that”

Balder’s lip curved in annoyance “I didn’t cower”

“Really?”

“Yes!”

Bragi sat up and looked right into Balder’s blue eyes, his own violently golden ones impassive. He stood slowly and Balder felt his heart race, but his feet stayed firmly where they were even as Bragi approached.

He swallowed loudly as Bragi stepped out, free, and loomed over him and his gaze wavered, his breathing became voluntary.

Balder flinched and gasped when Bragi grabbed his wrist and leaned over him, crowding him.

“Liar” Bragi said, looking into his face “You’re cowering”

Balder gulped.

“Now keep that up before the council, and I am a free man”

Balder blinked “What?”

“I need you to hate me” Bragi told him “before you fight for me, understand?”

Balder nodded “How?”

Bragi shrugged “Tie my hands behind my back, for once. Push me a lot and give me this reaction when I look at you or address you.”

“What will that prove?”

Bragi shrugged “When you change your mind and raise a hand to free me instead of executing me, it will be all the more effective and those idiots that sit at the council will follow you like sheep”

“I owe you nothing”

“Aye” Bragi said “but I will end up owing you my life”

Balder blinked in surprise, clearly not thinking of it that way.

Bragi scoffed and stepped back.

He turned his back to Balder and placed his wrists at the small of his back.

“Now drag me out and away, Prince” Bragi said “you have a bastard to save”

Balder scoffed and rolled his eyes, moving forward to leash the nightmare that was a reality for him.

***

The Council was staring.

Never in their history had they seen such insolence in the court.

Balder stood in the middle of the floor, drunk.

He was blabbing on, singing a song about a man who cheated on his wife and began yelling the bawdy song when someone interrupted him.

It was a miracle Odin hadn’t thrown him out yet.

An elderly woman, sitting here since Odin had been crowned king, blushed furiously as Balder lingered over the chorus that described a woman’s ample breasts.

In the stand at Odin’s feet, chained like a criminal, Bragi was having a hard time controlling his laughter as Balder moved about drunkenly.

When Balder told him he intended on stalling, this hadn’t come to mind at all.

Bragi snorted and placed his chained hands over his mouth to stifle his laugh when Balder switched songs.

_“A Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair, And one could tell by how he walked he'd drunk more than his share._ __  
  


_He fumbled 'round until he could no longer keep his feet_ __  
  


_Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street._ __  
  


_Ring ding diddle iddle i dee o, ring di diddle di o_ __  
  


_He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street."_ _  
  
_Now around that time two young and lovely girls just happened by_ _   
  


_And one said to the other with a twinkle in her eye._ __  
  


_"See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built?_ __  
  


_I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath their kilt."_ __  
  


_Ring ding diddle iddle i dee o, ring di diddle di o_ __  
  


_"I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath their kilt."_ __  
  


_They crept up on the sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be,_ __  
  


_And lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see._ __  
  


_And there, behold, for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt_ __  
  


_T'was nothin' more than God had graced him with upon his birth._ __  
  


_Ring ding diddle iddle i dee o, ring di diddle di o_ __  
  


_T’was nothin' more than God had graced him with upon his birth.”_  
  
Balder swung around and spun, singing the song as loudly as he could.

“Enough!”

Balder stumbled to a halt and blinked at the council man that had yelled and slammed his fist on the table before him.

“What’s wrong?”

“I have had enough!” the man yelled, looking to Odin “this is a blatant insult to your name, have you nothing to say?”

Odin lifted a brow and inclined his wrist in askance “Good song?”  

“Majesty!” another yelled, standing up “This is unfair, Councilman Winn is right! I know he is your son, but…”

“We are hanging a prisoner tonight, are we not?” Odin asked them “What’s the harm in a few songs. Clearly, my son seems to take this man’s side”

As if proving his distaste, Odin extended his staff and struck Bragi on the back of the head, making him stumble.

It seemed to calm a few, eager ones as they watched and they sat back.

“Excuse me!”

They turned to see Balder glaring at Councilman Winn.

“I …” he pointed to Bragi “hate him!” 

Winns blinked and a moment later, the doors slammed open.

They turned to see the sun blazing behind Thor as he arrived, looking at all of them with narrowed eyes and a hardened resolve.

“Brother!” Balder laughed extending his arms.

Thor gaped, then leapt back when, a second later, Balder fell to the floor, unconscious.

Odin sighed and stood, raising a hand when Thor went to help Balder.

“Enough”

Thor stopped, looking up at his father.

“We have come to the end of our patience, Thor” Odin said “the prisoner needs to be sentenced and we tire of the wait. State your demand and be done with it”

Thor stared at Odin in disbelief, then despair. His blue eyes went from the council to Bragi, then back to Odin.

“Prisoner?” Thor asked, leaving Balder where he was and approaching Odin “He is your son”

“An illegitimate bastard that I have tolerated enough” Odin corrected him “and a murderer, by all means. Now say your part, if you have anything to say, and let this commence.”  
Thor gaped at him in anger “You would let your own son…”

“Speak” Odin cut in “or leave. I have had enough of this charade”

Thor’s mouth tightened, but he swallowed, clearing his throat to speak.

“I have proof” Thor said “proof that Bragi is innocent. Proof that the blood was painted on his walls and proof that Tyr was killed by another”

“Oh?” Odin raised a brow “and where is this proof?”

“Here” 

There were shouts of shock and loud gasps as Amora was led in.

Odin’s hands tightened on his staff and he suddenly doubted Thor.

But the enchantress was meek, bound in chains and dragged in her unflattering clothes. Her face was worried, for the first time in her life and she licked her lips, looking at Thor for confirmation.

Thor nodded to her and came over to place a hand on her shoulder, then he stood beside her and looked up at Odin.

“His name…” Amora choked and swallowed and Thor rubbed her back “I betrayed …”

Odin’s eye slit and Thor turned his head to whisper in Amora’s ear, placing a kiss on her cheek.

And in that moment, Bragi realized the brilliance of Thor’s plan.

“Will you?” Amora looked desperate, pleading to Thor “Will you, truly, Thor, I cannot imagine if…”

“I will” Thor told her, grabbing her hand to kiss “I promise”

She was blind, Bragi realized, saw nothing other than Thor’s love for her.

Amora looked to Odin and swallowed “Bragi didn’t kill him, I did”

A shocked gasp erupted from the crowds.

“I befriended a man who wanted to …” she broke off, looking at Thor with anguished, uncertain eyes.

Thor shook his head and pulled her against him, one arm around her.

He was praying this would work.

“He wanted to get back…” Amora licked her lips “I know, I have done wrong, Majesty, but…”

“Finish” Odin glared at her “your tale”

“But I love him”

“Finish it!”

Amora flinched and started to shiver.

“His brother was killed when we lost a thousand Aesir and he wanted revenge” she said “we allied ourselves to each other and used Tyr to hurt Loki.”

She looked at the ground, then at Odin “I didn’t mean for this to happen, but he was going to oust us and I just…”

“Silence” Odin said, then turned his head to Thor “What makes you think we will believe her?”

“T- test me” Amora said, “you have power enough, I will willingly take your test to make you see”

“Right now?” Odin asked “before the court”

“On … on one condition” Amora said, then hid herself behind Thor.

“She wishes to remain in Asgard, bound in magic and still a prisoner but free to roam the castle” Thor announced.

“So she can kill again?” Odin asked.

“Nay!” Amora said “I will not kill anyone, this was a stupid mistake, I …”

“Alright” Odin cut in, moving to climb down and stand before Amora “extend your hands to me”

Amora instantly did as she was bid, something she had never done before and something that solidified the fact that she was under Thor’s influence.

She hesitated only a moment, but then Thor came up beside her and placed a hand on her shoulder, giving her a reassuring squeeze, and she relented.

And Bragi watched as Thor’s ill thought, stupid, impulsive and plainly idiotic plan…

…actually worked.

***

Loki, who was ready to _hurt_ , was taken out of his reverie when he realized it was his turn.

Thinking, licking his lips as he glanced at his opponent, he looked down at the chess pieces.

Idunn sat opposite, firmly demanding he continue their third game in a row. She watched as Loki lifted a hand over his Queen, trying to move her out of her pawn’s way.

He pulled back and a moment later, Idunn screamed in joy when Loki simply knocked his King down, clearly the loser.

“Yes!” Idunn jumped to her feet and began to dance about “I won again! I won again!”

Loki rolled his eyes and started replacing the pieces before Idunn saw the _massive_ gaping maw in his scheme to let her win.

Again.

“Yes, yes,” Loki said, standing up and popping his back “We are all very impressed. Now, can we _please_ leave? I wish to know what is happening down there”

“Later,” Idunn waved it aside again “another game first”

Loki almost growled when she came back and sat down, waiting for him to make his move since he had chosen white.

“Idunn…”  

Cheers sounded outside and both Loki and Idunn turned to the doors. From the couch, Hela looked up as the doors slammed open.

Thor was in the lead, hands thrown high in the sky, a huge grin on his face.

Behind him, Balder was supported on Fandral and Hogun’s shoulders and Sif walked with Sigyn. Hogun and Theoric were at the end.

Loki’s heart was in his throat and he looked at Thor’s face.

“Thor!” he paled when he saw scratches on his husbands face, his neck, his arms.

Angry welts that marked him.

“What happened!?” he asked, blinking when Thor grabbed his shoulders and kissed his mouth.

“Battle scars!” Thor announced, flicking his hair back so Loki could see the attempts at having his eyes gauged out “we fought a battle and we won!”

Loki gaped “What?”

“Aye!” Theoric came forth “Your husband is a very good notary, my Lord, gave them quiet a speech”

“And a show few will forget”

“Aye” Balder announced, hiccupping “a show”

Loki looked at Balder, then back at Thor, trying to figure out why Thor looked like a scratching post and why Balder was drunk.

Then he gave up and shook his head, some things needed no explaining.

Or warranted them.

Loki turned to Thor to say something when he saw Bragi enter their chambers.

He seemed a little hesitant and he didn’t look at Loki.

A moment later, flashes of what Loki had seen painted on the walls came back and he knew why Bragi avoided his eye.

He cleared his throat and grabbed Thor’s arms as cheering and retelling of the tale began.

“Come on” 

Thor blinked when Loki suddenly pulled him up the stairs but said nothing as he was led away, letting the others have his glory for the moment.

He smiled at the back of Loki’s head when he realized glory was only the start of the things Thor would give up for Loki.

***

“Ah!”

Thor hissed when Loki applied the antiseptic to his skin, disinfecting the wounds placed on him.

The scratches stung, and when Loki applied the fluid to his arms, it hurt.

“That hurt” Thor chuckled a little.

Loki hummed, brow furrowed, as he threw aside a cotton ball and lifted another, drenching it in the liquid and tipping Thor’s face up to apply it to his neck.

Thor hissed again and his hands came to stop Loki, grabbing his wrist and pulling it down.

“Enough,” he chuckled “it seems like you want it to hurt”

Again, Loki hummed, keeping his gaze away from Thor’s, as he pulled back and began to gather the medical supplies.

And something occurred to Thor only then.

Loki was angry.

It seemed that the cheers that sounded from below were made for Thor when realization dawned upon him and he looked at Loki in disbelief.

“Loki?” he asked “Are you … angry with me?”

“No” 

Thor flinched at the clipped word and stared at Loki in disbelief.

“You _are_!” Thor pushed off the bathroom counter and followed Loki as he went to place the things away “Loki, why? I thought you would be happy”

“Happy?” Loki asked as he opened a cabinet and set the supplies in “have you looked at yourself in the mirror, Thor? Have you seen your face?”

Thor blinked and touched his cheeks, realizing he felt a sting and winced.

“Loki, nothing happened” he came forward and reached out to touch Loki “I’m fine, look…”

Thor broke off when Loki hit him.

Actually hit him, hit his shoulder, and though it wasn’t hard, it was still painful.

“Fine!?” Loki yelled “You think you look fine!?”

He advanced and hit Thor on the head again, making him retreat.

“You leave me here for hours and then return looking like you fell through Hel itself and you expect me to believe you are fine!?”

He raised a hand again and stopped when Thor flinched.

“Do you have any idea what you did to me!?” Loki asked, tears in his eyes “what is _still_ does to me, seeing you like this? Looking at you and wanting to _kill_ the person responsible for daring to harm you!? Do you even know what you mean to me!?”

They were in the room now and it was deadly silence. Everyone could hear Loki, but he was past the point of caring.

“Do you value your life so badly that you would willingly set yourself in danger?” Loki asked, tears falling down “You know my life is tied to yours, Thor, how could you be so stupid!?”

Footsteps sounded below and Thor heard everyone leave as he stared at the hellion Loki had become.

“Look at you!” Loki sobbed “I almost died when I saw you like this, how could you do this to me!?”

He placed a hand over his mouth and Thor ran forward, embracing him instantly.

“You idiot!” Loki punched his shoulder as Thor held him “You stupid, arrogant, unmitigated ass!”

Thor hushed him and kissed his head, holding him tighter still.

“I cannot stand seeing a scratch on you and seeing you like this, I …” Loki broke off and nuzzled Thor’s neck “You idiot”

“I’m sorry” Thor whispered, kissing his head “I am an idiot, Loki, you’re right”

Loki wept against him, a mixture of relief and pain and worry as he held his husband, his most precious belonging.

His Thor.

Lover, husband, heart, soul and mate.

Thor was his everything, Loki realized.

And he would die without him.

***

He scoffed “How did you escape?”

She rolled her eyes and gestured to the blood in her clothes and between her nails.

“I have my ways”

“Did they find out?”

“Not yet” she looked over her shoulder at the castle, at _him_.

“I warned you, your love would be your downfall”

She turned and hissed at him, making him step back.

“He betrayed me!”

“He was bound to. His heart belongs to his pretty wife”

She growled and stomped past, crunching twigs beneath her feet.

“I loved him”

“But he doesn’t love you”

“Stop saying that!” she growled over his shoulder and walked on.

“He will pay”

“ _They_ will pay”

“Aye” she said “I will break them both, break _all_ of them for this!”

“But you did kill him, punishment was warranted”

“Shut your mouth!”

He looked at the ground and sneered.

“Baelfire, we need a plan”

“I know” Baelfire grinned “and who better than you, my sweet Amora, to plan it?”

“I already have a plan”

“Aye?” he said, following her “Tell me”

“We break them”

Baelfire scoffed “Please, we tried that once…”

“No” she cut in, looking at him with less than sane eyes “we break them, we break _everything_ about them, everything! We take their love, their trust, their hearts and soul. And then we kill them”

“Or sell them” Baelfire said “you know the price of my help”

“Aye,” Amora scoffed “that pretty quim for your whore, I know… brutal”

“Not as brutal as what you have planned, I assume”

Amora laughed “Not even close. Thor took everything from me. I trusted him and he betrayed me. Those few moments ripping his skin open were a bliss too shirt for my liking. I will kill him, I will take from him everything, then I will kill him. and only then will he know pain”

Baelfire sneered “So, tell me your plan, milady”

Amora laughed and looked at him, her tattered clothes moving in the wind and her maniacal eyes glittering.

And as he listened, safe in his Aesir disguise, Byleistr grinned wider and wider as this insane woman kept giving him more and more things to laugh about.

Oh, how Loki was going to pay…

***

They were perched on their balcony, Loki calmly sipping tea he had dropped a few drops of his potion in, and Thor sitting behind him, nuzzling his nape.

He was devoid of scratched now, and hummed, parting his lips to lick at Loki’s skin.

Loki shivered and tilted his head aside, the cup of tea wavering in his hands as Thor continued.

“Thor…”

“Yes, Beloved?” Thor asked moving to his collar from behind, lowering his tunic.

“Thor…” Loki’s heart started to race and his chest heaved up and down rapidly.

Thor hummed and pulled his arms around Loki and took the tea from him. he placed the cup aside and lay Loki flat on his back, climbing over his head to mouth under his jaw upside down.

Loki dragged his heels on the floor when Thor trapped and rested his large hands on his and didn’t let him move his head as he started to kiss him.

Loki whined loudly, arching up to his mouth, panting and gasping when Thor bit his Adam’s apple.

“Thor…”

“Yes?”

“I love you”

Thor hummed and kissed Loki again.

“I love you, too”


	23. Hell Hath No Fury

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Farbauti rises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, okay, so I was wondering if anyone here spoke Spanish?
> 
> There is a work I want to translate, just a few pages, and I would really be grateful if someone helps me.

When they both woke next, it was three hours past midnight.

And the Jotuns had attacked.

***

War

It delighted his tongue to say that word, the way it started softly and went onto the one syllable that stopped hearts and crushed minds, the way it just rolled off his tongue and vanished into the air.

It was invincible and so, when he waged it, he felt the same.

He stood on the peak of a hill now, watching the war ravish Asgard, watched his men wreak havoc as they destroyed and killed.

They maimed, just like him and they took sadistic glee in the fact.

It was the reason he had chosen them.

True Jotuns, fearsome and rulers that had slowly diminished until only a small trickle of them remained.

Powerful, feared, terrorists and unbreakable.

And he led them.

He took a deep breath, almost smelling the scent that was taken in the air.

Blood and fear it was, blood and fear.

He could hear the screams, the roars of his army and the _fear_ that rose to the skies with the ashes his men were turning Asgard into.

It was thrilling.

“My dam!”

He turned to see Helbindi fall to kneel at his feet.

“Speak, my child” Farbauti rumbled

“Our west army has fallen,” Helbindi reported “their men were led by the bastard son of Odin. They were all slaughtered”

Farbauti hummed and looked back to Asgard “What about the rest?”

“The front line is still strong” Helbindi said “they were not expecting us, so in the time it took for them to prepare, we took them out”

“All of them?” Farbauti’s deep baritone asked

“No” Helbindi said “The second son of Odin arrived then so we…”

“Then what is the use of telling me something that does not please me?” Farbauti asked softly.

His tone was soft, almost loving, but the way Helbindi cringed was tinged only with fear.

“I thought …”

“You thought you would give me paltry news to try and soften the news that is next in coming” Farbauti cut in, same voice, same tone “Tell me, what is the bad news I must bear?”

“Byleistr is here”

Farbauti smirked “I assumed as much. Send him forth, I wish to laugh a moment or two and surely his words would be better jests than any”

“My dam, those that you sent…”

“Now, Helbindi” Farbauti said “before I strike you where you stand”

Helbindi swallowed and bowed again, slowly backing away.

Many would think it hilarious that a full blooded Jotun was afraid of his dam. Clearly those who thought so had never met Farbauti.

He envied them.

He went to the collection of trees where Byleistr stood, nodding to him to go forth.

Unlike his brother, Byleistr raged.

“What are you doing!?” he walked over, almost as tall as Farbauti “This was not part of our plan”

“Your plan bored me” Farbauti told him, crimson gaze fixed on Asgard “it was getting me no results and quite frankly, neither are you”

“I asked you for more time!” Byleistr said “You said it was alright!”

“I changed my mind”

Byleistr growled and ran his hands over his head in frustration.

“Do you remember the day you came to me for help?”

Byleistr looked up at his dam, his heart suddenly beating far too loudly and his outburst turned into a _very_ bad idea.

“The way you fell on your knees before me, offered to kiss my feet?” Farbauti asked

Byleistr swallowed and lowered his head in shame “Aye”

“And do you remember the meek, humble creature you became then? Begging me not to kill you for your insubordination or the way you wept when I had you flogged?” Farbauti leveled his crimson glare at him “It would be wise to remember yourself that way now”

Byleistr looked at him uncertainly.

“Well?” Farbauti raised a brow.

A moment later, he extended a foot.

Byleistr paled, then flushed deeply in shame. He looked behind him to see Helbindi and their few, trusted men watching him.

He turned back to Farbauti, who waited.

“Dam…”

“Now, Byleistr”

Cracks enunciated the iceblade as it formed on Farbauti’s arm.

“Your life or your pride” Farbauti said “which is more important? Which would you sacrifice for power?”

Byleistr’s heart was racing in his chest, threatening to break through his chest.

His crimson gaze was tormented as he looked at his dam, the fearsome beast before him.

“Please” he whispered “I forgot my place, you…”

“I know” Farbauti said almost lovingly.

He didn’t retract his foot and Byleistr, flushing in shame and humiliation, looked behind him again to see the sneer on Helbindi’s face.

He was to be utterly humiliated, then.

Farbauti never did things halfway.

If a man had to be killed, Farbauti would do it in the most painful way he knew how. If a punishment was to be inflicted, Farbauti himself would make it so brutal that the unfortunate victim would wish for death – which he would then oblige and make it a hundred times more grotesque than any had ever imagined.

Once, long ago, when Byleistr was a boy of seven and Loki had yet to be born, he has seen his dam tie a Jotun behind one of his monsters and let him run loose.

Nothing had remained of the poor man other than a few, semi solid innards.

He was a monster, a true Jotun than flourished in pain and misery and bathed in the humiliation of others.  

And now, it seemed he wanted to see Byleistr suffer for his insolence.

Farbauti didn’t move, he left the decision to Byleistr. He had power here, his wayward son didn’t.  He would not be satisfied until Byleistr got down on his own free will.

“I’m waiting”

Swallowing loudly, Byleistr nodded and slowly started to kneel.

Beside Helbindi, a Jotun chuckled.

Farbauti looked up, his crimson eyes blazing in rage.

A moment later, there were soft hissing sounds, accompanied by a soft thud, then a larger thud.

Then Helbindi turned and retched.

The remaining Jotun’s placed their hands over their mouths to stop themselves from screaming.

When Byleistr spun around to look back, he lost all color from his face when he saw the poor Jotun brained, the top half of his skull lying on the ground, his pink flesh showing as he blinked once, twice.

Farbauti didn’t even shudder as the Jotun fell back, dead.

He straightened from the lethal crouch he had been in and looked down at Byleistr, smiling when his son crawled over to kiss his feet.

“Good boy” he scoffed, turning back to Asgard, rather content with feeling his traitorous son’s lips upon his feet.

***

Loki had been sleeping soundly when he’d heard the first boom, resonating through Asgard and jolting him awake.

He sat up and a moment later he jumped when he heard another, roaring crash sound and he could have sworn he felt the ground move beneath him.

“Loki!”

He whirled around to see Thor getting up, his face a mask of realization and his muscles tensed for action.

He was prepared when the guard ran in and told them that they were being attacked, Loki wasn’t.

Loki’s heart began to race and he started to shiver as he heard the sounds of war, the bangs, the shouts, the unmistakable roars of his own kind.

The next thing he knew was a harsh yank on his wrist and Thor pulling him out of bed.

Loki had time only to orient himself before Thor was talking to him.

Well, not talking, he was too loud for that, Loki had to blink a few times to understand that Thor was yelling at him, yelling for him to follow the guard that stood downstairs, ready to take him to safety.

And it was those words that chased away all lingering sleep.

“Take me to safety?” Loki asked, frowning and snatching his wrist back “I’m not leaving you, Thor”

“Loki, please” Thor had grabbed his shoulders “Please, do not do this. I have to fight and knowing you are there, in the field…”

“What about me?” Loki asked, staring at him “What do you think will happen to me while you…”

Thor had sighed then and pulled away, turning to the wardrobe and pulling out his armor.

“Loki, you will go with the guard, understand?” he said very softly over his shoulder.

“Thor…”

“And make sure my mother is safe” Thor looked at him “Please, please Loki, do not fight with me on this, please”

Loki had bitten his lips then and nodded.

_No, Thor_ he had thought _I will not fight you on this, I will fight with you_.

He hadn’t said anything out loud, though, and dressed quickly, nodding to the guard and following him.

As they went through the hall, Loki heard the bangs getting louder and he heard the shouts of both his people.

He couldn’t help but shudder as he heard screams.

The ground vibrated under him and Loki heard a shout. He turned behind him to see Thor coming out of their chambers, Balder taking him somewhere.

Loki’s heart had started to break as he saw Thor walk away.

“Thor!”

Loki spun back and ran after him, ignoring the guards yell.

His husband stopped and turned, Mjolnir in his hand, as Loki sprinted forward.

His eyes widened in surprise and a moment later, Loki threw himself at him putting his arms around him and kissing him with everything he had in him.

The younger man felt those arms come around him, heard the metallic thunk as he dropped his hammer and kissed Thor deeper.

He pulled back and looked into those blue eyes, unaware that his own were shining.

“Come back to me” Loki pulled some of Thor’s hair over his shoulder “no matter how this ends, I want you to come back to me”

Thor blinked and nodded, pulling Loki close and kissing him again, groaning when Loki pressed them closer.

“Majesty…”

“Thor, we must go”

Loki thought his heart was going to break when Balder pulled them both apart. His eyes never left Thor’s as he backed away, even as the guard grasped Loki’s wrist and pulled him back.

“I love you” Loki said “I love you, Thor”

Thor was taken away by Balder, looking over his shoulder even as his brother pulled him along, separating them both, tearing their hearts in two.

Loki stumbled when Thor went out of his sight and turned to follow the guard then.

The screams were louder when they exited the Royal Apartments and Loki couldn’t help but look.

He couldn’t see anything from here, naturally, but he could make out a dim, red outline in the distance.

Fire, he realized.

Asgard was on fire.

“What happened?” Loki asked the guard.

The guard, his eyes looking everywhere, held out a hand to pull Loki behind him as they turned a corner and made their way to the gardens.

“They snuck in, I do not know how, Majesty” the guard had said “and it seemed they were endless. So far they are out of the castle, but because this was a surprise attack, we …”

He broke off, looking at Loki sadly, then ahead.

“We lost more than we should have”

Loki paled. He gasped when the man suddenly stopped and held up a hand for Loki.

Then he frowned and made a few gestures, signaling someone Loki couldn’t see, and told him it was alright to move forward.

Conversation was impossible and the man led him cautiously, down an unused path and to a small, seemingly unused broken house.

“A safe house” the guard said, pulling the door open “All women and children, the elderly and helpless are placed here. Know that you are none, Majesty, just very valuable to Prince Thor and thus, to us all”

Loki’s face slackened in surprise and he would have said something, but a huge crash sounded somewhere and the guard jumped.

“Majesty, hurry” he pulled Loki in and closed the door to the darkened house, barely a room, then placed his sword aside and went to a barrel.

Loki watched, amazed, as he pushed it aside and exposed a spiraling staircase that led underground.

“There is only one path here” the guard explained “follow it and you will reach a hall built underground. There will be people waiting to guide you further, Highness”

Loki nodded, then blinked when the man came over and lifted his hand.

“It is said that if a Royal blesses a soldier, his fighting will amount to something. Would you do me the honor?”

Loki’s mouth had slackened before he caught himself and nodded “Aye, it would honor me to do so”

The soldier took off his helm and knelt before Loki and Loki whispered a few prayers, blowing on the man’s head, then a few spells to keep him safe.

To finish, he ran a hand over his head and let him stand.

The soldier put on his helmet and bowed to him “Thank you, my lord”

“No” Loki shook his head, going to the escape hatch “Thank you”

“Uh, Majesty” the guard approached uncertainly.

Loki stopped and looked at him “Aye?”

“I … I mean I lost my brother” the man said “when the tragedy occurred. You should know that I do not blame you, nor do I think should anyone else lay the blame upon you. If anything, you suffered a loss as much as everyone else.”

Loki stared at him in disbelief, his mouth parting in shock.

Another resonating boom sounded and it shook the earth.

The guard looked to the door, then to Loki.

“Hurry, my lord” he said as he pulled open the door and looked out to see if anyone else was coming “be safe”

“Be safe” Loki echoed, watching the man as he descended the stairs and keeping at his spells until he felt the barrel slide over the entrance, sealing him in safety.

The entrance thud shut and Loki was left alone.

He looked down at the staircase then, back up to where the good soldier was already leaving, probably.

He waited a few heart beats, waited to see if anyone else was coming.

Then Loki moved.

He walked up, placed his hands under the barrel and pushed. He groaned with exertion, but managed to push it off.

When it was enough for him to climb out, Loki exhaled.

Then he pulled himself out, placed the barrel back and ran.

He ran out of the safe house, out of the thicket where it was situated and out where he knew the battle was taking place.

He needed to get to his love.

***

Farbauti was closer now, moving to the edge of where Asgard started, walking over the bodies of those killed for him without even a glance at their direction. Behind him, Helbindi and Byleistr walked, their weapons ready, alert and listening to each and every sound made around them.

And sounds were aplenty.

Especially sounds of agonizing pain.

There was no differentiating between them now, no wail of agony categorized as either Aesir or Jotun.

They were all the same, they were all in pain and it gave Farbauti a moment’s pause to think that perhaps the object he came here for might have perished.

“Helbindi?”

“Aye, my dam?” Helbindi fell in a kneel beside him, though Farbauti didn’t even look at him.

“So to the weapons vault” he spoke, keeping his crimson gaze on the battle ahead, smiling when he saw his Jotuns crush a house and tore it asunder “take someone with you and see if you can get the Casket for me”

“Yes, Lord”

Helbindi stood and turned to Byleistr, nodding for him to go.

“Not him”

They both froze when Farbauti spoke; he didn’t look back, knowing his order would be obeyed.

“Take someone expendable”

Farbauti’s eyes narrowed and he smiled when they focused on the infamous Destroyer come out.

Finally, he thought.

He saw his army yell and he saw a few brave Jotuns leave their stations to destroy it and ending up in nothing but dust when it cast it’s gaze upon them.

“Use a passage carefully, ask that woman Byleistr has to help you”

“Dam, she will not” Byeistr said “She…”

“Kill her, then” Farbauti cut in, smiling when he saw Odin himself approach.

Now, things would get interesting.

Most Jotuns would have turned and run, but their faith in him was strong and they fought even as their deaths were certain. Odin was ruthless, but Farbauti was more so.

He heard Helbindi running off into the distance and he heard Byleistr follow him.

“Byleistr?”

“My lord”

“Where are the royal chambers?” Farbauti asked “for the newlyweds?”

Byleistr swallowed against the shudder that ran through him “They are at the back of the castle, the Royal Apartments holds the entire royal family, but I do not think he would be…”

“Go there” Farbauti said softly “wait for him to return, then bring him to me. Disguise yourself if you must”

“My dam, he …”

“Now”

“Yes” Byleistr bowed, intending on never returning.

He wasn’t going to get anything, he realized, not from here.

So he came up with a plan.

A plan to end all royalty other than him, a plan to betray and gain.

He was going to save Loki and redeem himself. Then he would have both his brother and this monster killed.

Because no matter what he thought, with Farbauti breathing, Byleistr would never get the throne.

And though the plan was impulsive at best, he liked it more and more.

He could still taste his feet, he realized and rubbed his mouth as he turned.

Odin wouldn’t listen to him, no one would, not after what he had done.

So he would make them see. He would make them open their eyes and he would make them see that he was the rightful heir to the throne.

Farbauti watched Byleistr run off and he smirked when he saw him rub his face.

He stood for a long while before he addressed the dark.

“Do you believe he will return?”

The air around him shifted and Amora appeared, her clothes perfect, her hair shining and her beautiful face sneering.

“Nay” she said, looking to where Byleistr was running “he will encounter the Aesir warriors and be slaughtered”

Farbauti smirked “Excellent. One wonders at the stupidity he exhibits. He thinks to betray me and have me not know that at the same time?”

Amora scoffed “He wants the throne”

“He will never have it” Farbauti said “my heir will”

“He is your heir” Amora stated, frowning

“Nay” Farbauti said, looking at her “he is my mistake”

He reached down and tipped her head up, smiling at her “And he cannot offer me what you are”

“I told you” she said “revenge is sweeter when someone is already broken”

“For me, at least” Farbauti said “now tell me, is your plan still in motion?”

“Yes” Amora walked to the side “as soon as this attack ends, I will implement it”

Farbauti smiled “I knew I was right to recruit you”

“You offered me my vengeance, I offered you yours” Amora said “it is simple. Motivations like those hardly mean betrayal”

“Aye” Farbauti stepped back and looked ahead “so where is he?”

Amora waved a hand and a large orb appeared.

Within, it showed the battle as Asgard saw it.

Weapons clashed, men screamed, Jotuns died. Odin yelled at the warriors, Bragi was covered in Jotun blood, Balder raced on his horse, sword swinging as he sliced clean through the head of a Jotun.

Then it focused on the people behind the Odinsons.

There were no men, women or children. The only people that moved about were warriors and the battle that seemed never ending.

And then Farbauti smiled.

“He’s even more beautiful than I previously imagined”

Amora smiled “Aye”

Loki was running, his hands glowing as he looked afraid and determined at the same time. A few Jotuns made for him and Farbauti smiled when he saw his intended slam them into the walls with his magic and run through Odin’s castle, his long legs carrying him fast and sure through the halls.

Clearly, he wanted to fight.

“Would he help a damsel?” Farbauti asked.

“If she didn’t look like me, he would”

Farbauti smiled and straightened.

A moment later, two blades formed on his arms.

“Call back my men” he said, flexing his muscles.

“Then isolate him”

Amora watched, smiling, as Farbauti stepped forward, ready to go into battle.

***

Odin growled, ramming his staff forward, incinerating the Jotun that tried to attack him. the monster vanished in ash and dust and Odin turned to look beside him.

Thor hurled his hammer at Jotun after Jotun, driving them back and growling when they came too close.

Thunder roared above and Odin saw the Jotuns hesitate a moment.

That proved crucial because a moment later, lightning poured from the skies.

The screams that erupted from the Jotuns’ throats were loud, shrill and short because they were burned and fell to the ground by the dozens then, Thor’s anger taking its toll on them.

Odin, looking to the skies, managed to see a Jotun standing on the top of a building that only wavered, and lift a large slab to hurl at Thor.

It screamed a moment later when Odin’s magic charred it. 

The slab fell to the ground, shattering uselessly.

“My king!”

Odin turned sharply to see Bragi run forward.

He was drenched in blood.

“They are retreating” he announced, grinning at his father “we have scared them off”      

Odin smirked and opened his mouth to speak.

A terrifying roar erupted from the distance and Bragi and Odin turned.

Odin lost all color from his face when he saw Farbauti himself running through.

He wasn’t built like other Jotuns, he was _lethal_. Where they were nothing but bulk, Farbauti had turned himself into a killing machine. He was lean, cut like ice with muscles rippled only when he moved as he was now, cutting a swath through the Aesir, slicing and cutting them, leaping above their heads and spinning around to cut them in half or quarters as he saw fit. He was colder than most of Jotunhiem and an assassin.

He was lithe and fast and most of the Aesir he annihilated didn’t have time to turn before his blades sliced through them. He was flexible and supple, spinning and bending this way and that as he came forward, never stopping, never stopping his killing.

He leapt over the barricade Odin’s men had set up, bringing his legs up to his chest and lashing out with both hands, neatly slicing those that stood to fight.

He landed with lethal grace and leveled a look right at Odin, smiling and licking Aesir blood off his lips.

Then he sprinted forward again.

Bragi lifted his twin blades, lethal and slim and ran forward to meet him, ignoring Odin’s call for him to stop.

Farbauti galloped, leaping over any and all obstacle, his eyes fixed on Odin.

An Aesir moved to block his path and Odin gasped when Farbauti lifted him up, jammed his blade through him and threw him over his shoulder all without stopping his run.

Bragi roared, lifting his blades, ready to slice the Jotun clean in half.

But he leapt high and as Farbauti nearest, he fully expected an attack. He was stunned when Farbauti simply passed him, wind whipping Bragi in the face as he landed on his feet gracefully. He spun around to see Farbauti leap high, grab onto the edge of a building and vanish from sight.

Bragi kept his gaze up, searching.

Odin was watching it, too, waiting for him to attack him, waiting for him to kill.

Thor stopped his killing to look, trying to see what had his father so tense.

The battle was still going on, Thor could still hear everything, but when a huge figure suddenly leapt off a roof, a blur of movement, and went behind their front line, landing with a loud thump, he heard it like a death knoll.

Odin gave a loud yell and spun his horse around, following it, hurling magic at the figure and failing when it simply twirled like a dancer and avoided them efficiently.

Thor saw it slay his men like ants, he saw blood painting the skies and he heard the screams and yells of those that were unfortunate enough to be in the way of that figure.

He saw Bragi run after it, still covered in blood.

But it was only when Bragi yelled, that Thor knew what had happened.

Thor paled when he realized that Farbauti was in the castle.

***

Loki could see the battle.

His steps faltered a little when he saw the blood and gore.

He saw the lightning break the skies and he could see the Aesir that lifted their weapons and ran.

He saw Fandral rushing the injured to the side, Hogun beside him.

Volstagg was swinging his twin axes about as though they were toy and Loki winced when one of them lodged into a Jotun’s skull.

Sif lifted to the skies in her graceful leap, her spear lifted high as she brought death from above and brained a Jotun.

He saw Theoric leap over the body of a dead Jotun and run forward, saving a comrade from a Jotun by impaling him upon his double edged staff.

The saved man looked over, saw he was still alive, gave a mighty yell and raged back into the war, uncaring that he would have been dead a moment ago. 

Loki couldn’t help but shake his head and smirk when that happened.

A scream broke through and Loki turned.

He paled in horror, going deathly still when he saw Idunn, cornered by a Jotun.

She was staring, her face a mask of fear as she pressed herself back against the wall and screaming louder when the Jotun lifted a hand to hurt her.

It spurred Loki into action and he ran towards her.

“Get away from her!” he hollered, lifting a burning spell in his hands.

He hurled it at the Jotun and saw as it howled in agony, touching the spot on its back where the magic had burned the blue skin.

Loki yelled and threw two more spells, throwing the Jotun aside and running to Idunn.

“Loki!” she gasped, running over.

Loki embraced her, placed a hand around her protectively and ran back.

“No, there are more!” she pulled at his clothes “Take me some place safe please, Loki, I can’t …”

She broke off, whimpering and Loki nodded, giving the fallen Jotun a glare and turning to another place, intending on taking her deep in the castle and keeping her in a safe place.

She clung to his back as he moved forward, hands ready to harm in case someone even startled him.

He took his route back.

The halls he’d already run from were now empty, devoid of life and littered with blood and bodies.

None moved other than them and soon, Loki found himself by his chambers.

“Go inside and stay there” he ordered “I’ll come back to…”

“Wait!” she grabbed his arms “Loki, you need to know…”

Loki frowned “What?”

As an answer, the air around Idunn began to shimmer and a moment later, Amora smiled at him.

“Greetings”

Loki gasped and jerked out of her grip, stopping when he hit something against his back.

Loki spun around and his face drained of all color, a terrified whimper escaping him when he saw Helbindi looking down at him.

“Greetings, brother”

***

Thor was frantic.

Fear lanced through his body, spearing through his veins, cutting them open from the inside, his blood rushed through his head, causing a constant migraine behind his eyes and his breathe was short, stuttered because he was forcing it through his constricted lungs.

But his heart was the worst.

His heart was broken, torn in two the moment he realized what had happened.

Even before he had gone down to the safe houses, screaming at the top of his lungs, startling everyone as he called for Loki, longed for the one voice that wasn’t there.

His eyes had filled with tears and began a frantic search, looking for his beloved, telling himself that maybe he was sleeping.

But no, Thor was not so lucky and it was only until his mother found him, on his knees with his head in his hands and told him to remember who he was, that Thor found _some_ semblance of sanity. He’d looked into her eyes as she told him to think, think of what Loki would have done.

And it clicked to him a moment later.

Loki had wanted to help him in the battle field.

Thor had surged to his feet then, and run, for the life of his lover and gone back to where his world was crumbling.

The Aesir were chasing the Jotuns and chaos had broken everywhere when Thor returned to the frontline.

Odin was no longer there, neither was Balder, but Thor could see Bragi and a few Aesir hunting the Jotuns down, sending grappling hooks into the air and letting them catch those monsters.

At the edge of the city, the Jotuns fled into the trees, retreating like the rats they were.

It gave Thor hope, but when he looked around, he saw no sign of Loki.

Breath breaking, he lifted his hammer to the skies and shot off, looking everywhere for his beloved and failing miserably to see him, to catch sight of even the edge of his coat.

But the longer Thor hovered, the only thing that increased was his panic.

And he felt his heart try and stop.

He lowered himself back to the ground and started a frantic run through the castle, giving no explanation to anyone about what was wrong or where he was going.

He ran down the halls, leaping over bodies, screaming for his love and hearing nothing but his own panicked echo.

Thor ran down the hall that went to their chambers in his panic, kicking the doors open and slamming them back against the walls and screaming Loki’s name.

“Answer me!” he pleaded, spinning around and looking.

Hela peeked out from under a table and meowed, running to Thor.

Thor, who was running everywhere, checking every single nook and cranny, fell on his knees when he couldn’t see Loki anywhere.

He placed his face in his hands, sobbing in his despair.

Hela came up behind him and pawed at his leg, curling up to him and purring loudly.

When Thor fell forward, kneeling and rubbing his forehead on the ground, his sobs reaching the raining skies of Asgard, Hela purred louder and nuzzled his hair, trying her best to console her crying master.

***

Loki screamed, his voice muffled against the gag as he was dragged away, his hands held behind his back as Helbindi walked him forward.

He stumbled, whimpering when Helbindi pulled him forward, dragging him into the dark chamber at the end of the hall.

He tried to dig his heels into the ground, trying to stop himself but he groaned in pain when Helbindi simply lifted him up and set him on his feet again, forcing him to walk ahead, to the door.

He laughed when Loki deliberately dropped to his knees in an attempt to stop and he screamed when Helbindi lifted him back up again.

“Insistent, isn’t he?” Amora laughed, walking behind them.

“Very” Helbindi chuckled “but you will have more fun when he meets the person beyond that door”

Loki’s eyes widened and he began his struggles anew, screaming in fear, screaming for _help_ as he was dragged to the door.

This was somewhere behind the servants’ quarters, so naturally, no one heard him.

He was crying now, tears falling down his cheeks, his heart racing in his chest and when the door was pulled open.

Loki’s heart stopped.

Farbauti grinned at him “My, my, look how you’ve grown, Loki”

Loki shrieked and pulled against Helbindi, trying to reach for his magic but the spell Amora had shoved within his chest was still powerful and no matter how much he kicked or screamed; he couldn’t escape.

“Leave us” Farbauti said, looking at Loki “come back in a few hours, implement the rest of the plan”

“Yes, my dam” 

Loki stumbled when Helbindi released him and wasted no time, he turned and sprinted to the side, running as fast as he could.

But it was no use.

Farbauti _loved_ tormenting.

And Loki was someone he had wanted to torment for a long time.

So as soon as Loki ran a few feet away, ripping the gag off his face, Farbauti struck out with a large hand, knocking him aside like a fly.

Loki cried out as he hit a wall with a sick crack, crumpling to the ground in a miserable heap.

The world spun, but he could see two figures leave and one approach.

“No!” he screamed, clawing at the ground to get up and yelling when Farbauti grabbed his ankle and pulled him back.

“No, please, no!” Loki screamed, his nails scraping the grass as he was dragged back “Please, let go!”

Farbauti chuckled and grabbed him around the waist, lifting him up so he could face him.

Loki was trembling, kicking and pushing his hands off from around him, whimpering in fear as he stared at the monster.

Farbauti grinned “Oh, I am going to have fun with you tonight, Loki”  

Loki shook his head, struggled and screamed for help, louder, when Farbauti turned to pin him against the wall.

“Help!” Loki hollered, turning his head away and pushing when Farbauti lowered his head to his shoulder “Somebody help me!”

But there was no one around and he felt that disgusting breath on him again.

“No one will help you, Loki” Farbauti used his thumbs to start parting his clothes “You were mine, and no matter who you let between those beautiful legs, you will always belong to me.”

Loki whimpered and pushed at the large head that mouthed at his middle, weeping in fear, trying to reach for his magic and finding it lacking.

“Please…” he begged, taking a shuddering gasp when he felt sharp teeth on his skin “Please, let me go…”

“No, Loki” Farbauti reasoned with him “You’re all I have left of him”

Loki’s rapidly beating heart gave him courage, then.

“Who?” he whimpered “My Father?”

As always, Farbauti faltered at the mention of his lover’s name.

And that was what Loki needed.

He kicked Farbauti in the gut, making him grunt and drop him.

When Loki fell to the ground, he leapt forward, ran between Farbauti’s legs and headed towards the castle.

“Get back here, you little whore!”

Loki screamed when he heard the monster approach, running faster than he had ever done in his life.

His breath was rare and Farbauti was _right behind him_ , lashing out and missing every time.

Loki galloped forth, finally seeing a small shed and running towards it.

“That won’t save you, boy!”

A dagger soared through the air, Loki heard it and ducked, falling harshly to the ground and holding his head, looking up to see an iceblade jammed in the shed.

And he heard Farbauti.

Loki leapt to his feet again and darted forward once more.

“Loki!”

His heart nearly stopped when he heard the friendly voice.

“Help me!” he hollered, running towards it “Balder, help me!”

Farbauti growled behind him and Loki ran faster, tears flying, heart racing, hair swishing in the wind.

Balder appeared out of the shadows and his eyes widened when he saw a _terrified_ Loki running towards him.

He dropped him sword and a moment later, Loki crashed into his arms.

“He’s there!” Loki screamed, clutching Balder close “He’s going to take me, please don’t let him take me!”

Balder put his arms around Loki, listening to his sobbing wails and searched the area where Loki had shot out from.

There was nothing there.

But Loki was shaking badly and crying so loudly as he held on to Balder that he knew he wasn’t lying.

“No one’s there” Balder cradled the back of his head and held him close, still keeping alert “There’s no one here, Loki, just me”

But Loki screamed, _screamed_ , in terror and agony and wept like he was dying.

He kept whimpering and crying and moaning in agony and soon, Balder had to take him back, back to where Thor was already worried to the point of being sick.

***

Thor was sitting with his head in his hands and staring at the ground in the dining hall when he heard him.

The war was over, dawn had arrived and those injured, were brought here to be fixed.

So it took him a moment to hear him over the din.

“Thor!”

It was the broken sob that made him look up and his heart faltered.

“Loki!”

Loki ran forward, stumbling because he couldn’t see anything through his tears and falling into Thor’s arms.

He held on for dear life, trying to hide himself, trying to use Thor to protect himself, sobbing even when Thor’s arms came around him.

“He had me…” Loki wept, sobbing loudly “he had me, Thor, he was going to have me…”

Loki broke off in a series of sobs and it was only then that Thor noticed how badly Loki was shaking. His heart almost stopped when he saw Loki’s torn clothes and a red mark on his shoulder.

No …

Thor swallowed loudly and looked up at Balder.

His brother shook his head and gestured for Thor to go.

Thor nodded and pulled at Loki a little, stopping when Loki gave a loud whimper, then lifting him into his arms and carrying him to the one place that was untouched by this disaster.

Farbauti smiled, watched Asgard as he left her in a worst condition than when he had found her.

Beside him, Helbindi held their prize in his hands and Amora held the gateway open for them, letting their survivors go in, letting them take in what they thought was their victory.

Byleistr was nowhere in sight and Farbauti assumed he was dead, taken apart by those Aesir.

It would serve him right.

No one turned from Farbauti.

“My dam”

Farbauti turned and smiled when he saw Helbindi holding something worth much more than the casket they came for.

Bragi struggled in their hands, growling behind his muzzle, yanking on his arms, his violent golden eyes fixed on Farbauti as he promised retribution.

Farbauti scoffed at him, then looked at his son.

“Aye?”

“The gateway awaits you” Helbindi said “they will surely sense us if he remain here longer”

Farbauti hummed and turned back, smiling when he started to hear the screaming mourning of the Aesir he had annihilated.

They would remember this for a long, long time.

They would remember _him_ for a long, long time.

“Then let’s go” Farbauti said, turning back.

He smiled at Bragi.

“A trade is why you were born,” he told the golden eyed warrior “a bastard for a bastard. Seems fair, no?”

He reached out to hold his jaw and Bragi screamed in pain when his skin began to burn.

“Yes,” Farbauti smiled down at him “a fair trade”

***

The servants watched, helpless, as Thor overturned the whole table by himself, throwing food and platters to the floor, growling in rage like a caged animal.

It was wise of them not to interfere even when he turned and looked for something else to destroy.

And it was only mere luck that had stopped him.

“Thor”

It was like he was Thor’s balm, because their prince calmed at once, turning and looking to the door where Loki stood.

His voice was soft, still, as it had been the whole day. everyone thought it was because of grief, Thor knew it was because Loki was hoarse.

He had cried loudly all night, kicking and yelling, trying to get the feelings of his hands off him.

Thor and held him close, done as he asked and finally given him a concoction that sent him into a dreamless sleep.

He looked no better, now, though he was composed, and the news of Bragi’s abduction couldn’t possibly make it better.

Thor looked at him and his brow furrowed in worry “Where was Heimdall in all this?”

It was a question Thor asked everyone.

He had yet to receive a satisfactory answer.

“You know he didn’t see this, Thor, the magic was strong enough to…” Loki came forward

“Why?” Thor asked him “Why did we allow it to reach that point?”

Loki swallowed “Traitors, Thor, there are traitors in the House of Odin”

Thor’s mouth tightened and he walked aside, running his hands through his hair.

They already had this conversation before. He knew who the traitor was, he knew what he had done and he knew what had become of that traitor.

For Robert Daregate’s death was set the moment he aligned himself with Amora. The moment he told them where the Casket was, the moment he chose revenge over everything else.

Amora hadn’t been merciful and they found him hanging in the Vault, right above the podium where the Casket had once stood. 

Thor lowered his hands and walked over to his beloved.

Everything was wrong.

And Asgard was in trouble.

The Casket was gone, Bragi was gone and Heimdall hadn’t seen it.

And though Thor had gone through many battles, this was his first, unannounced war.

“What are we going to do?” Thor asked.

Loki swallowed and walked over to him, placing a hand on Thor’s arm and guiding him over to sit on a few stairs that led from this dining hall to the atrium outside.

“We will…” Loki broke off “we will take your example, not mine”

Thor frowned, confused.

“All this happened” Loki said “because we showed them our weakness. Your are mine and I am yours. Odin’s weakness are his sons and Asgard’s weakness is her prejudice against the Jotuns. They knew and they exploited that fact. They know Amora’s weakness and they exploited hers.”

Loki sighed and rubbed Thor’s arm “There is a reason Farbauti is so feared, and it isn’t his power. He is clever, cold and ruthless. He uses and discards everyone. The fact that he got what he wanted from here is just the beginning. He … he needs to be stopped”

Thor looked at him and frowned “What are you talking about?”

Loki looked at him and Thor saw a long dormant fire in his eyes.

“I have had enough, Thor” he said “I am tired of everyone standing against me. I am tired of letting them do what they want and remain unpunished.”

Thor blinked.

“I want to fight” he said “I want to fight my greatest fear and I want you there beside me. I want to go to Jotunhiem and get the Casket back, I want to rescue Bragi and I want … I want to _kill_ him.”

Loki’s hands were shaking and he was so terribly afraid of that monster, but Thor could feel his conviction.

“Loki…”

“Do not stop me” Loki looked at him, his eyes filled with tears “”Don’t you dare stop me, Thor. I will have this, I will fight because if I don’t, they will destroy everything I love and I cannot bear the thought of something happening to you”

Thor swallowed.

“You are everything to me” Loki said, glaring at him through his tears “everything, do you understand?”

Thor nodded “Yes”

Loki seemed satisfied and he gave Thor’s arm a squeeze before standing. He took a moment to wipe his eyes before he looked back at Thor.

“Your father will not let us go”

“I know”

“We shall sneak into Jotunhiem” Loki said, turning back to him “I know the lands and the castle, I can take us through paths no one knows about. They will have Bragi in the castle dungeons because that is the only place warm enough to house an Aesir. The casket will be a problem, though. We will need a distraction”

“Loki,” Thor stood and came to stand before him “Loki, I am not saying you cannot do this, but…”

“Good” Loki cut in, stepping back “Then gather your friends, gather as few men as you can, gather the best. We ride into Jotunhiem at sundown”

“Loki, please…” Thor grabbed his hands “It’s dangerous”

“I know” Loki said firmly “and we need to be  more so”

Thor didn’t like it. not one portion of it, but Loki was adamant.

“Loki” he tried again “I cannot have you in danger, my love, please. Let us go and…”

“And what?” Loki snapped “wait for someone else to try and rape me!?”

The servants bit their lips and wisely left the room then.

They all knew what had nearly happened to Loki when he was in Farbauti’s hands.

They didn’t wish to hear it again.

“This is the only way I can stop this, Thor!” Loki said, glaring at his husband “I want to change! I am not weak!”

“I know,” Thor consoled him “I know you are not weak, but…”

“Then there is no argument” Loki said sternly “We leave at sundown.”

Thor looked highly dubious.

“I am going, Thor” Loki said, stepping back and walking off, “You can either accept that and stand with me, or watch me while I fight”

Thor stood helplessly, watching Loki walk off, wiping the last of his angry tears.

“Loki” Thor whispered “I’ll always stand with you”

***

“Oh this was such a bad idea”

Loki clicked his tongue in irritation and glared at Volstagg “Oh, come on, are you a warrior or not? This should be an adventure for you”

“Not so soon after a battle, it isn’t”

“Don’t you mean dinner?”

There was a thud and a yelp.

“Quiet!” Balder ordered “This is a mission, not an adventure. Show a little decorum.”

There was a bit of muttering, then silence as the rescue party walked to where Loki led them.

They were all here, Sif, the Warriors Three, Theoric, Balder, Thor and Loki.

And Loki was leading them all into Jotunhiem. They had arrived here by the Bifrost, instructing Heimdall to remain silent, and could see a few Jotuns going to their landing site. It was fine with them, Loki had made sure they left no footsteps and even now as Thor looked back, he could see their marks disappearing.

“Bad idea” 

“Volstagg!”

“Yes, be louder than you can help. I don’t think the Jotuns heard you”

“Mind yourself, Theoric”

“Forgive me, Highness”

“Will you all shut up!?” Loki hissed loudly, glaring at them all “This is a war, in case you haven’t noticed and so help me if anyone of you speaks again, I shall make your clothes vanish and leave you with the smallest daises to cover your modesty!”

They all stared.

“Except you, Lady Sif, you have shown more manners than them all” Loki nodded to her.

She couldn’t help the smirk that came upon her face as they moved forward, hidden in fallen and broken trees.

“He can’t do that, can he?”

“Shut up, Volstagg”

Snow crunched beneath their feet and Thor approached Loki, holding his hand when they walked over jagged ground and uprooted trees. He flinched when Loki snatched his hand away and walked by himself, not even looking at Thor and it made the Crowned Prince bite his lips and pull back.

He and Loki had an argument before they came here.

Thor wanted Loki to stay in Asgard where it was safe and Loki wanted to prove himself unafraid. It was a disaster waiting to happen.

Thor had tried reasoning and Loki had yelled at him. In the end, the younger had stomped away and Thor was left in his old chambers, waiting for him to return.

When he eventually did, it was to announce that Thor’s friends were all willing and agreed with Loki.

Even Balder had agreed and Thor was free to stay if he so wished, or join them all.

There was little choice after that and though he knew his father was going to _kill_ him after this, Thor had followed.

He thought it would appease Loki, but his consort was still stinging.

And though Thor longed to comfort him, he realized he needed to give Loki space at the moment.

Besides, he could always watch out for him from a slight distance.

They were sneaking through the woods, heading to where they had set up camp when Thor had brought war over.

It was covered with snow now, no trace of their arrival left other than their memories and everyone remained silent, aware of how Loki had been treated here.

Thor approached Loki again and this time he almost cheered when Loki didn’t move away.

“Where are we headed?” Thor asked softly as they moved in the open land 

“The house you took me from” Loki said, keeping his gaze ahead.

His hands held his daggers but he had yet to use them for anything other than slicing through vines and branches that got in his way.

His face was focused, but Thor could still see fear in his eyes.

“I have friends there” Loki said, then shrugged “or at least I did when I left. I assume they will help me”

“And if they don’t?” Thor asked before he could and grimaced at the glare Loki gave him.

He stepped back without his answer and followed closely.

The rest of their journey was made in silence and soon, Thor could make out a  large house.

Loki inhaled in relief when he saw the lights on.

He turned and waved the others over.

“Come on!” 

Loki dropped all stealth and ran forward.

Thor was on his tail a moment later, and heard the others following close behind.

They sprinted through, running beneath the open Jotun skies, running so fast the icy wind hurt their faces.

And it was exhilarating. 

Loki reached the door first and banged his fist on it repeatedly.

He didn’t stop when he heard movement inside. And almost stumbled when it opened.

Hrym looked down, weapon raised, and froze.

“Loki!”

The weapon fell and soon, Loki was in the Jotun’s arms.

“I never thought I would see you again!”

“Who is it!?” Jarnsaxa called from behind.

“I told you!” Hrym said, putting Loki down and gesturing for the others to come in “I told you he would return!”

Jarnsaxa thumped down the stairs, caught sight of Loki and froze.

“By Ymir’s breath…” he grinned and laughed, moving to embrace Loki as well “you didn’t forget us!”

The others watched, stunned, as Loki laughed and grinned as he was lifted like a doll.

“I could never forget you” Loki said, looking up at them when he was finally set down “After the kindness you showed me, I would be the most ungrateful being in all realms to have forgotten you”

Jarnsaxa laughed “Acquired a silver tongue, I see!”

He clapped Loki on the back, making him stumble.

Loki caught his balance and looked at his small army.

His grin vanished when he realized why he was here. He turned to Jarnsaxa.

“I apologize for all transgressions, but I fear I am not here on a visit as pleasant as one I wished for”  
Jarnsaxa looked at the Aesir, at their weapons and nodded “I feared as much”

“What is wrong, child?”

Loki licked his lips and looked to Thor uncertainly, then back.

“Things have …not gone as I had hoped”

“Aye, boy” Hrym came over to give his shoulder a squeeze “I heard about your brother. Know that you have our greatest condolences”

“Yes” Jarnsaxa said, looking at Loki’s sad face “He may have had his rough spots, but he cared enough for you to get you out of this hell”

Thor bit his lip and walked over, gently grabbing Loki’s hand. he was relieved when Loki squeezed it.

Hrym smiled “I see things worked out well in one area”

Jarnsaxa looked at the couple before them “I see it too. Seems like I owe you a hefty amount of money, dear”

“Aye, that you do, you old ice cube” Hrym said, making a face at his mate “Owe me a huge sum, you do”

A lecherous look came over Jarnsaxa’s face “Ice cube I may be, but I still know how to heat up your…”

“Jarnsaxa!” 

Loki blushed and pulled his lips inwards to stop his smile and lowered his head. Behind him, the rest of the Aesir were in somewhat the same states.

Hrym, blushing deeply, smiled at them “Why don’t all of you come inside and rest yourselves. Seems like you had a terrible journey”

“Aye” Jarnsaxa said, leading them in “and tell us what went wrong”

***

“Was it your plan to lose, then?”

“We didn’t lose” Farbauti said “But yes, it was my plan”

“Create a distraction enough to get whatever you wanted” Helbindi said, lounging on his chair beside the throne “then leave and enjoy the results”

Farbauti chuckled “You are learning”

“I can hardly do anything else, dam”

Farbauti smiled and looked out of the window “They will hand Loki over for the bastard, I know it”

“Forgive me, but I find that hard to believe” Helbindi said , very carefully “Odin was prepared to hang his bastard. He will not waste Thor’s consort or peace for him”

“Thor will”

Helbindi stared “What?”

“I said, Thor will” Farbauti looked at him “he may love him now, but Amora has already set in motion the events that will remove Loki from Thor’s good grace and love”

“How?”

“Magic” Farbauti said “the driving force that can make or break everyone. The potion she came up with is disturbingly effective – it pleases me”

“What will you do with the wench once this is all done?”

Farbauti shrugged “Kill her, I guess. Feed her to the wargs, I care not”

“She could be a problem”

“Nay, she is a scorned woman, incapable of seeing anything but her revenge” Fabauti said softly “she is blind to us”

Helbindi chuckled “And what of…?”

Ice cracked somewhere and broke him off.

They both straightened, listening to the familiar, unexpected sound.

“Is that…?”

Their world exploded the next moment as Byleistr broke through the nearest window, showering them both with glass and ice. He landed before them and hit them with the full force of the Casket.

Helbindi froze as he moved to kill and Byleistr lunged, breaking him to tatters with his blade.

Farbauti lay on the ground, his lower half frozen and stuck in the ice. He glared and hissed at Byleistr, raising his ice blade to kill him even as he kicked to break the ice that bound him.

Byleistr raised the Casket once more.

And something rumbled and broke, falling with the ceiling as it caved in, unable to take the blast the Casket had given it. it fell between dam and son, breaking the ground.

Byleistr leapt back to avoid the gigantic shard and fell to the ground, feeling the casket slide away.

He heard Farbauti roar and turned in time to see him fall into the black Jotun depths, screaming in rage and anguish.

Byleistr’s victory was short lived, though.

The ground began to crumble and he had to escape.

Grabbing the Casket, he ran forward, going to the lower half of the castle before it broke.

He had a bastard to save tonight.

***

Balder realized Hrym intended never to stop.

He would expire here, never being able to see Idunn again. but, since the man was a gracious host, he would endure this forever with a polite smile on his face.

Thor’s mirth was clear and Sif had a hand over her mouth as she tried to stop herself from laughing.

Theoric looked far too happy for someone having sweet ice and Volstagg was gobbling down as much food as he could while Hogun watched him, occasionally shaking his head.

Loki, having told Jarnsaxa the entire tale, shared a couch with Fandral and occasionally took the food the blonde warrior had, his eyes fixed on Balder.

Balder, who was dancing with Hrym because it was very politely requested of him.

That was three hours ago.

Now his feet hurt, his back was stiff and he was rather sure he would never dance again.

Jarnsaxa sat going through the notes and drawings Loki had sketched for him, showing him the places least likely to be noticed.

They had agreed to help him, instantly.

Not a word or question left any doubt about their loyalty.

Jarnsaxa approved of Odin and he approved of the friendship he had with Laufey.

So it was terrible what Farbauti was doing.

He had known that Farbauti had returned.

He didn’t know he had attacked Asgard.

So he was as stunned as Loki had been.

He lifted his gaze to look at the boy and saw a fear in his eyes that he ws trying to control.

He reminded him of Laufey and he had told the boy, earlier on.

Laufey always fought against his fears, always.

That was what made him such a good king.

Now he saw the same spirit in Loki. And once the boy heard that, he became so much easier around them than he previously thought possible.

After their plans were made to save Bragi, it was Loki that insisted upon something to relax.

Hrym only humored him.

Jarsaxa laughed when he saw how tired Balder was and lowered his gaze to the papers again.

He missed the man that came up to him.

Fandral cleared his throat and Jarnsaxa looked at him.

The charming warrior had on a face that told him he was here for a purpose.

“Aye?” Jarnsaxa asked

“I heard you” Fandral said, making sure only he heard him “the last time I was here, you had an argument with honorable Hrym. I heard it”

Jarnsaxa’s eyes widened.

“Is it true?” Fandral asked “Is Byleistr responsible for his father’s death?”

Jarnsaxa looked around, at Loki, then back at Fandral.

“Keep your voice lowered” Fandral said “and tell me what happened”

Jarnsaxa sighed “Byleistr … was always … difficult. His loyalty never remained with one person for too long, it was his one, big flaw.”

He placed the papers aside and stood, gesturing for Fandral to follow.

He led them to the kitchen, away from the others.

Closing the door till only a crack remained open, he turned back.

“Farbauti came to him one day” he told Fandral “One day when it was plain Loki was Laufey’s favorite. If I ever find fault in my king it is that; expressing too much love on one child and leaving so little for the rest. Loki was fourteen and Laufey wanted to get him a fur, fresh from a snow bear just because Loki shivered at night. he had never done anything like that for Byleistr, so resentment was guaranteed”

Jarnsaxa took a deep breath “He … followed his father, waited for him to be alone and then … Farbauti had met up with him, told him to do it, he confessed later …”

Fandral waited.

“He released wargs on his own father”

Fandral’s face went into surprise.

“He regretted it instantly, but it was too late” Jarnsaxa went on “he aligned himself with the wrong Jotun and got in trouble. Laufey never knew, neither does Loki, so I would be grateful if…”

“I would never hurt Prince Loki” Fandral said “So worry not”

“Byleistr was the one that carried him back” Jarnsaxa said, then confessed to me that very night, crying and begging me for forgiveness. My mistake was granting it to him and not telling Laufey anything. I had thought I was being merciful, sparing hurt to a dying man. I was wrong and Loki had to pay the price.”

He sighed and ran a hand over his head “I swore to keep an eye on him then, but Farbauti returned and …”

Fandral raised a brow when he broke off.

“It’s not my place to tell you how Loki’s life was, but know that it wasn’t the best”

“I can imagine”

A short silence fell before Janrsaxa glared at the man before him.

“Now don’t you go telling everyone or trying to blackmail me, boy, I will not take well to such ideas”

Fandral laughed “Never, we came here with the intention of asking you for your men, not…”

The ground began to shake.

Rumbling sounded soon after and Jarnsaxa paled when he looked out of the window.

There, in the distance and so small that one had to squint to look at it, he saw their castle falling.

Gusts of ice and hail rose from the falling building, reaching the skies and sailing across land as the home that Laufey had built for himself, the one Farbauti had taken over plunged to the ground, shattering like the most fragile ice, disappearing from existence. 

When he ran out, Jarnsaxe heard everyone else follow.

And he ignored them because he heard the screams of Farbauti’s army as they were buried alive or thrown deep underground where none of them would ever surface from.

***

They had reached halfway when they saw the figure walking towards them.

Loki’s feet almost gave out when he saw Bragi.

His arms, face and skin was burned and he limped because his ankle was broken.

There was no blood on him, but determination showed on his features as he battled the snow and hail.

And in his hands…

Thor gaped and ran over when Bragi stumbled, holding the Casket in his hands.

Theoric followed, pulling off his cloak to give to the injured warrior and Fandral and Hogun helped him lift him up.

Balder took the Casket and Thor offered his own cloak up.

And all Loki could do was stare.

Because there, in the snow and ice, seen through the howling wind and gusts of white, he saw a figure he never thought he would see again.

His brother.

He blinked and shook his head, but in that moment, he was gone and Loki was left thinking that it was a cruel trick of the frozen wastelands.

***

It was a week later, when all of them had been punished by Odin and forced to remain in the repaired castle, that they celebrated.

Bragi was still healing so the others drank in his stead.

Thor was on Midgard, making some sort of preparations and Loki was anxious, drinking more than he had ever done because he missed his husband terribly.

Idunn was dancing with Balder and Fandral was dancing with himself.

It was very entertaining.

And so busy were they that he never noticed that the maid that came in with fresh mead for Loki and Balder was not Leah.

Or that their drinks tasted better than they ever recalled.

Or the look said maid gave them with a dramatic flick of her blonde hair would have told them who she was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously, I don't know Spanish. I wish I did.
> 
> Please, please, help


	24. Dilemma

Heimdall saw everything.

But he had been unable to warn.

For the moment he had turned and the first of the Jotuns attack, he had been surrounded. And even a man of his power and strength, of the battle tactics and patience he displayed, was nothing against Fabrauti’s army.

And that witch.

The witch he had seen moving around in Alfhiem, gaining the deposits of magic so famed in the land, making herself a power to rival even Odin himself, had been there.

The odds were terrible.

And Heimdall’s condition even more so.

He hadn’t been found until morning, when Odin demanded why he had never heard Heimdall’s warning.

The soldiers that came to summon him had stilled in horror when they saw him impaled upon a still melting blade of ice, jammed through his shoulder.

Heimdall had been unconscious, his golden eyes closed and his exotic skin paling with each passing moment, each failing breath.

The soldiers had tried to free him but when they could do nothing against the ice, thicker than most trees on Asgard, they had run to get Odin.

Odin had wasted no time.

There was powerful magic, Amora’s, in the blade and he had to use up a large portion of his own to heat it a point where it could eventually be broken and the bleeding gatekeeper could be taken away, dragged because of his girth, with a gaping wound in his chest, to the healers where he would he treated with a mixture of magic and medicine.

Odin followed, his eye worried for his long time friend and guardian of Asgard, the one man he trusted without batting an eye, the one man that gave him the power of his all sight, strengthened a hundredfold by his golden gaze.

Now he followed helplessly the one man that could have seen the upcoming disaster, but didn’t because now, days after the war, he lay gasping for breath, Odin by his side with his magic and prayer, deep in induced slumber and healing spells that worked around his wound to heal and protect simultaneously.

And said disaster was unfolding as the morning light fell upon Asgard.

Like a sheet, it covered from edge to pinnacle.

It went from the graves, both fresh and old, to the gardens that spoke of life and further ahead where people woke and mourned, then further still until it finally hit the golden palace and slipped in through the teensiest cracks or parting within the drapes to lay on the wall, floor or beds of the occupants still waking from distant slumber.

Loki was among the first in Asgard to be annoyed by the sun.

It fell from the slit of the  drapes in the room, right across his eyes like a mask and he growled in irritation, hissing and waving a hand, using magic to make it vanish as the drapes were shut.

Then, mumbling, he turned on the bed, to put his face in the cooler part of the pillow, muttering something darker when he bumped into the other occupant of the bed.

For a few moments, Loki lay asleep, lost in dream and reality, lost in the feel of sleep, not wanting to get up.

He thought of skies and rain and a dream that he had broken to turn around and he thought of Thor, the most majestic being in all nine realms, his husband and lover, his beautiful Thor who was miles away and who Loki missed with a heartache so strong he could barely contain it.

And it was then, as he thought of his absent husband, that he realized the wrongness of his situation.

Loki’s eyes flew open and he gasped, shooting up in bed and staring in ever mounting horror at the figure that slept beside him.

He was going to scream, Loki knew it and he put a hand over his mouth only then, his eyes horrified as he stared, not at the face of a stranger, no – that would have made this a little easier – but at Balder, his own brother in law, brother of _Thor_ his husband.

A shrill sound escaped his lips and mouth and Balder moved, frowning before he looked up at Loki.

A second later, he scrambled out of bed, falling to the floor, taking half the sheet with him as he stared at Loki, his ice blue eyes wider than Loki had ever seen them, staring upon the younger in disbelief.

No …

No, this cannot be.

His mouth parted but there were not words.

No words for either of them to express _any_ of the frightening emotions that were going through them, no words to explain the immoral, wicked, dishonorable, traitorous thing they had done.

Neither moved and neither breathed.

They just stared at each other in horror, their hearts in their throats and their clothes all over the room, there was no question about what they had done.

Balder swallowed, pale and trembling “Loki…”

He inclined himself forward and Loki jumped.

“Don’t touch me!” Loki screamed, leaping off the bed, taking the sheet with him and running, running to the side where his bath should have been.

“Loki!”

Loki halted, looking around, confused when he didn’t see the door to his washroom and it was a delayed realization that hit upon him and he discovered he wasn’t even in his own chambers.

Balder’s rooms…

These were Balder’s chambers.

And he heard Balder coming up behind him.

Loki panicked and spun around, gasping when he saw him right behind him and he reacted.

The slap sounded throughout the room, reaching the ceiling before pin drop silence remained.

Balder didn’t look back from where his head had turned from the blow.

Loki was shivering badly, the sheets, _Balder’s sheets_ , were clasped tightly in his hands as he backed away, finally locating the toilet and all but running in.

He slammed the doors shut and fell back against them, a trembling hand over his mouth, tears quivering in his eyes at the magnitude of his own betrayal.

Thor …

Oh Norns, what had he done to _Thor_!?

His beautiful husband that had done nothing but worship him and tell him he loved him and whom Loki loved in return…what had he done!?

A sob tore through his throat and Loki’s knees gave out.

He slid down against the door, hand firmly pressed to his mouth to stifle his sounds as he cried and sobbed his despair.

His loud moan of agony filled the room and pulled his knees up to his chest, lowering his head into the sheet around him as he wept in agony.

***

Last night, Amora had gotten what she wanted.

After every one had either passed out or left the chambers, she had entered in all her grandeur, shining like fairy though she was truly, most assuredly, a witch.

Her poison green eyes fell on the two women sleeping on Loki’s couch and the one man that had passed out on the table, a testament of the fact that her drug had worked.

The other proof was asleep in his own bed, carefully planted away from everyone else, away from even a smidgen of scandal.

Loki looked so peaceful in sleep that Amora wanted to scratch his face off.

Dirty, filthy whore!

He had taken Thor from her and now he would pay.

Using the magic she had stolen for herself, she raised a hand high and from below, Balder’s limp form rose, levitating in midair and trembling ever so slightly as her magic drained.

She winced and moved him to lie beside Loki and smiled.

Her vengeance should have been complete, but Amora never left things half done.

She lifted her hand again and a moment later, a better idea formed in her brain.

Waving a hand, using the rest of her stolen magic, she teleported herself and the duo to Balder’s room, wincing when Loki hit the ground rather than the bed and smiling.

She gave in to her petty impulse and kicked his rear, delighting in the thud she heard before doing it again.

Then she shook her head, used her own magi c to lift him and place him under the sheets, Balder following shortly after.

Then she sat in a chair and watched her magic strip them bare under the sheets and throw their clothes about haphazardly to make it look like they were in the height of their passion when they cheated on Thor.

Another wave and scratches appeared on Balder’s back.

Amora didn’t leave anything half done.

She stood, wavered a little when her drained magic played with her equilibrium. Raising a hand to her head, she waited for the dizziness to pass before she took a cautious step forward, then for confidentially, when nothing happened.

Coming around and looking at the man who would soon lose everything to her potion and the memories it induced, she smiled.

She extended a slender, beautiful hand and stroked Loki’s cheek as he slept.

“He was never yours to have, darling” she said fondly, stroking his cheek, his jaw and neck “He was never yours”

Loki didn’t even wake.

His eyes were closed as he slept in a wonderful slumber before he woke to the nightmare his life was going to become.

When he woke, Thor would have already found them both. 

And when that happened, Amora would finally have revenge of the entire Odin household.

No one tricked her, no one betrayed her, not unless they wanted a punishment like no other.

And they would pay, they were all going to pay; staring with Loki.

He was the reason Thor tricked her and now he was going to be the reason Amora and Farbauti both got what they wanted.

She smiled again, laughing softly before she stepped back, looking at the two pawns in her game.

A whirl appeared from her feet, rising high with a drama that was nothing but flourish, even though no one could see her.

She vanished soon, her laugh echoing in the chamber even after her eyes stopped admiring the work, the scene she had set of betrayal, hurt and a revenge almost too sweet.    

Almost.

***    

Loki didn’t emerge from the room, instead using his magic to create a portal big enough for him to crawl through and end up in his own washroom.

Mercifully, the doors were closed and Loki could live in the small belief that he was safe from the world as long as he kept the ivory painted door in his gaze.

He felt the portal close and fell, laying down on the marble, the sheets still around him, the only covering of his nudity as he stared at the wall before him listlessly.

Whore…

Slut …

Filthy Jotun whore…

He had cringed from those insults, now he realized the truth in them. He was all those things, all those _and more_ because he had betrayed his own husband, lover, prince and heart.

Thor was everything to him, he still was, and doing something like this…

He didn’t even remember getting this drunk.

He didn’t remember anything where it involved being close to Balder, he avoided the man mostly.

He knew how Balder looked at him sometimes, he wasn’t blind. But even though it bothered him, it was better that he looked rather than touch.

But now …

And they were in Balder’s chambers, which meant that Loki had gone with him willingly.

Loki sobbed again, his whole body shaking with the act when he closed his eyes and against his will he started to see.

He saw himself smiling up at Balder as Balder pressed him against the door, grinning down at him.

He saw their kiss, he saw Balder lowering his head and pressing his lips to Loki’s and he snapped his eyes open, crying out loudly, shaking his head in denial as he lay on the floor of his bath, kicking in his agony.

“No…” he sobbed “No, please, no …”

But the images didn’t stop, no matter how much he tried, he could still see himself being pressed on the bed, Balder’s face above him, he could hear their pants, feel Balder’s skin break under his nails and he could see Balder’s face as he climaxed with Loki’s name on his lips.

“No!” Loki yelled loudly, thrashing against the sheet as he extracted himself from it and throwing a flame upon it, making it burn before him in an attempt to make everything undone.

It didn’t work and his regret only mounted, rising higher and higher as it suffocated him until he curled into a protective position, holding both his knees to his chest and staring at the wall before him with green eyes swimming in tears.

He lay there thinking, forcing himself away from the images that damned him and forcing himself away from everything that happened until he just lay there, wide eyed and uncomprehending, slowly going into a thoughtless state where he felt safer than he had in such a long time.

He didn’t know how long, but his memories began to play before him, memories of his father.

He saw Laufey setting Loki on his knee and bouncing him up and down until Loki screamed in glee. He saw Laufey lying on his stomach and a tiny toddler version of himself climbing over his back, crawling on the large, gentle being that was his world, till he came upon his shoulder and he slapped it a few times, making cooing noises to make Laufey moved and hit his father’s face when he didn’t obey.

A punishment was induced, where Loki shrieked in laughter as he was tickled by his father, the King of Jotunhiem.

Then he saw his father as he read him stories.

Loki was a baby, still, sitting on Laufey’s chest and slapping the book as Laufey  read spells to him. he didn’t understand a word and got bored to he slapped the book with small, chubby hands, jumping on his rump to make Laufey do something more interesting.

Then he saw himself as a lanky boy, running about in the snow and falling face first into it as Laufey watched.

Byleistr had been forced to play with him and he had a snarl on his face the whole time.

He refrained from kicking Loki when the boy latched into his leg and smiled at his older brother. Byleistr had made a disgusted face at him and Loki’s grin had faded when he realized that Byleistr truly hated him.

It was that moment when their relationship changed and Laufey became his world. 

His father was everything to him.

Then he had taken Loki on a trip, to a frozen lake where they sailed on the thick surface and laughed so loudly they couldn’t breathe after.

After that, at Loki’s fourteenth year, he waited for his father to return with a fur that was promised to him.

He waited all evening and most of the night until, exhausted, he fell asleep in his father’s bed.

He was in peace.

When he had woken, it was to see his world shatter.

He had _died_ that day. Loki had ceased living as Laufey died.

He didn’t think he could live again, nothing was left for him but to curl up and stop living.

And though Byleistr had taken care of him, he had limited him to something he controlled.

Loki had been an empty shell, nothing more.

So when Thor came into his world and breathed life into him, Loki knew.

He knew that the impossible had happened and that he had been revived, brought to back to life by a god that outshined the sun.

Thor was the light he needed to guide him from the darkness.

Thor was his purpose.

Thor was his.

But after today…

After today, Loki was going to die again.

Because Thor was going to leave him. He was going to leave him and there would be no one to lift Loki back up from that.

And that thought, more than anything else, broke him and Loki’s face crumpled as he lay on the floor of his washroom, crying like he had never cried in his entire life, loud and unwavering.

And he had no one to blame but himself.

He had no one.

***

It was well past three hours that Loki emerged from the bath.

He was bare and dripping wet, angry marks on his skin from where he had rubbed his skin to clean himself, rising from his catatonic state to delude himself into thinking that he could be clean, cleaned of this act, of what happened to him, of what he did.

It hadn’t worked, but it had hurt him and that was enough for him at the moment.

Alone in the room, he dried himself automatically and put on the first pair of trousers he touched, pulling them up and tying them around his waist, fighting with it for a long moment, pulling at the ties that suddenly seemed wider.

It was only when he stopped a moment that he realized he was wearing Thor’s trousers, not his own.

He exhaled loud and short before slowly pulling them before him and tying them slowly, looping it twice so that it could fit him before reaching in and pulling out one of Thor’s tunics.

He pulled it over his head, taking in the scent that was so strongly _Thor_ that he felt his loss all over again.

He felt the tears prickle his eyes again and sighed loudly, turning and walking on bare feet to go downstairs.

Hela was on the couch, now devoid of everyone other than the animal, and looked up.

She gave a loud, meowing purr and jumped off, trotting over to him to let him know how much she missed him.

Loki smiled softly and reached down to lifted her up and place her on his shoulder, walking to the breakfast table where a platter of fresh fruit was placed. He lifted a golden apple and walked out to the balcony, watching Asgard raise herself from a battle she had won.

He perched on the railing and looked down, taking a large bite of his apple, his green eyes watching the distance.

He blinked slowly as he sat, knee raised while the other foot dangled over the other side.

He watched from the height and when Hela meowed, he looked down.

It was a _huge_ drop, going straight and steep, till it ended on the concrete and marble that made Asgard.

As he watched, Loki contemplated the scenario where he simply jumped to his death rather than let Thor kill him.

Because, death was assured.

Loki was dying, he was going to die when Thor found out and there was nothing stopping it, why not speed up the process and stop heartache?

He was saved from further contemplation by a knock on the door and the dull bang as the lock caught.  
He ignored it.

He took a breath, long and deep, taking his time with it as he closed his eyes, trying to dampen the pain in his heart.

He was a gone man.

The knock sounded again, this time someone called to him.

He ignored it again and stood.

Hela was placed to the balcony floor and Loki turned back to the railing. Slowly, as though he was in a trance, he moved forward, placing one foot, then the other on the banister and standing tall.

The wind was playing with his hair, whipping it back, whipping his clothes back, flapping it loudly, matching Loki’s heartbeat.

His eyes were closed, tears being pushed back as he stood with his arms hanging by his sides.

He thought of Thor, let that be his final thoughts, he thought of all that, all his time with Thor, all that he would give up if he did something so stupid.

Yes, stupid.

Loki’s eyes opened and something burned within them.

This was stupid, cowardly and unbelievably ruthless.

Should he die, should he kill himself, he would do the same to Thor.

He might not take him with him if he fell, but he would sure as hell damn him to death.

Thor was his life, he was Thor’s.

Loki had no right to do this…

No right to…

“Loki!”

Loki jerked and waved in the wind as he lost his balance.

Fear descended on his features a moment before someone came up behind him and hauled him back, throwing him to the balcony.

“Have you lost your mind!?”

Loki looked up to see Frigga’s furious face before her.

“You stupid, idiot boy!” she slapped his face, stunning him “Stupid, fool! What do you think you were doing!?”

She hit him again and Loki raised his hands before him, trying to get away and whimpering when she grabbed the back of his neck and lifted him up.

“You think this is the answer!?” she screamed at him, pulling him forward with startling strength and all but throwing him into a couch and glaring at him “You think death will fix everything, you coward!?”

She raised a hand and hit his head, making Loki cringe and raise an arm in protection.

“My son is in love with you, you idiot!” she yelled, pulling back her hand but not retreating “You are his life, how dare you think to end it so casually!?”

She raised a hand again and Loki shrank back, tears in his eyes as he stared at probably the most intimidating creature in all nine realms.

“Please…” he whispered, his voice breaking.

Breathing hard, she glared at him. she didn’t speak.

“Stop”

“I will stop only when you tell me what good remained in what you were about to do!” 

Loki swallowed and looked at the hellion before him. he sniffed “I …”

“Nothing” she rasped “there was nothing good in that, Loki, or do you _need_ to have that beaten into your skull. I thought you were an intelligent man, not a full blown, suicidal idiot!”

Loki lowered his eyes to the floor, biting his lip to keep from crying.

Frigga knew…

It was only a matter of time before everyone else did.

“I …” he broke off, taking a shuddering breath to stop himself from breaking down.  

Frigga was breathing hard, her beautiful hair fallen over her shoulder in her rage as he stared at him.   
Her heart was racing at the fact that she had almost failed to save him. he was standing on the railing, and had she been a moment late…

She shivered and glared at him “What the hell were you thinking?”

Loki swallowed and looked at the floor, chastised enough to know his place with her at the moment. 

“I wasn’t …”

“Of course you weren’t!” she snapped, exhaling loudly and going to collapse on the couch placed beside his “Do you have any idea what you just did to me?”

Loki didn’t respond.

“Had I been a moment late, you…” she huffed loudly “What is wrong with you?”

Loki bit his lips “I think you know the answer to that question”

She sighed loudly and sat up, looking to Loki when he leaned back.

“Don’t worry, I shall not hit you again” she said, lowering her head to massage her temples “that was a mother’s reaction to seeing her child do something so incredibly stupid that beating the sense into him remained the only option.”

“I’m not…”

Loki broke off when she glared at him and looked at his knees.

“Loki” she said, much softer than she had been before now that the red behind her eyes had passed “Loki, this is not the answer, love, there are ways to fix this.”

“H – How did you know?”

She sat back and looked at the point between ceiling and wall.

“Balder told me” she said “He said you both got drunk last night and …”

She licked her dry lips “He said you vanished from his washroom and you were not opening your doors. I searched elsewhere before I came here. I thought perhaps you had taken a ride out to the gardens or something, but when I sent forth some magic, I discovered you here and came as soon as I could.”

Loki kept his gaze lowered.

“Loki, this is not the answer”

“I know” he whispered, feeling tears in his eyes “I was going to jump back in when you startled me. I wasn’t going to do it, just…just thought about it”

“Even thinking is doing something” she said and sat up straight “Did you have breakfast?”

Loki shook his head.

“Neither did I, so I suggest you order us some”

Loki nodded but he didn’t move.

Looking at him, Frigga sighed and stood, moving over to stand before him.

“Come here, my darling” she rested a hand behind Loki’s head and that was all he needed.

He gave a loud sob and embraced her, hiding her face in her middle and putting his arms around her slender frame, crying for everything, crying for his loss and crying from the fact that after all these years…

He finally had a mother.

***

“So what do you want me to do?” Loki asked as he lay on the bed on his stomach, letting Frigga brush back his hair gently as she sat back against the headboard.

“You have to tell him, my darling” she said “Thor is many things, but he is not cruel. If you go to him to seek forgiveness, he will not deny you”

“He will hate me”

Frigga sighed “He will be angry, that I know. And he will be hurt, but he will no hate you. he loves you far too much.”

“He would be right to hate me”

Frigga hummed lingeringly before she spoke “Not really. You didn’t know what you were doing, neither did Balder. I do not think he should hold it against you or hate you”

“He will” Loki whispered, playing with the tassels of his pillow as Frigga played with his hair.

Frigga didn’t reply as she consoled him.

“Loki?” she said “has Thor ever mentioned the name Jane to you?”

Loki blinked and frowned, thinking “No”

Frigga sighed “I see”

Loki raised his eyes to look at her “Why?”

Frigga sighed “She stole his heart. A lesser degree than you have done, but she did. I approved of the match, Aesir had wed and lived with mortals before, but …”

Loki watched carefully.

“There is a risk with falling in love with a mortal and Thor ended up risking and losing his heart”

“She died?” Loki gasped softly

“Murdered” Frigga said “at a young age at that. Thor wasn’t the same after. He was colder, harsher, meaner. He became obsessed with finding her killer and did extremely questionable things to get answers. I worried for him so much I could hardly sleep at night.”

She fell silent and Loki waited.

“He has not even mentioned her to you or anyone else” she told him “ever since you wed, ever since he fell in love with you, he had not mentioned her once. Can you even grasp the magnitude of the importance of this fact?”

Loki watched the tassel between his fingers.

“You brought him back to life as much as he did you” Frigga told him “something like this will bruise, but it will not break the life you saved. Remember that”

Loki didn’t respond.

Frigga fell silent, too, just sitting there and running her fingers through Loki’s soft hair and letting the movement calm him.

So it came as no surprise when she heard a soft snore later and looked down to see Loki sleeping on the pillow he’d been playing with an hour later.

She smiled softly “That’s right, my child, sleep. Tomorrow will be a better day”

She leaned down and kissed his damp cheek, running a hand over his head in prayer before he stood and left him in all the peace he wanted.

***

When Loki woke next, he was feeling better.

His eyes opened slowly and he exhaled through his nose, thinking of what Frigga had said.

He prayed to the norns that she was right.

Because he couldn’t handle anything otherwise.

He heard purring behind her and smiled when he felt Hela’s paw batting his ear from behind.

“Let him sleep, you little devil”

Loki froze, paling when he heard Thor’s voice and he scrambled up with a gasp, turning and looking behind him at Thor.

“Th – Thor!”

Thor blinked “Aye, who did you think it was?”

Loki was trembling and his eyes were wide as he waited for Thor to hit him or hurt him but when Thor’s gaze turned confused, Loki realized he didn’t know.

“Loki, what’s wrong?”

“N – Nothing, you just startled me” Loki said breathily “When did you get back?”

“In the afternoon” Thor said with a smile “Loki, are you sure you’re alright, you look pale and your shaking and … are those my clothes?”

Loki fisted a hand in his tunic, looking lost “Yes, I …”

Thor furrowed his brow and Loki forced his mind to think.

“I missed you”

Thor grinned in relief and came over, arms spread “Come here”

He didn’t wait for Loki to come, circling the bed and embracing him, pulling him to his chest and Loki, selfish traitorous Loki, nuzzled his throat, inhaled his scent and pulled him closer.

“I missed you terribly” Loki confessed “Life has been hell”

Thor laughed and kissed his head “Oh, I don’t think it was so dramatic.”

Yes, it was … he wanted to say … I slept with your brother, Thor. I slept with Balder while you were away and betrayed you in the worst possible way. So kill me and be done with it because I cannot live with the knowledge that you left me.

He wanted to say that.

It was what was right, what Frigga had wanted him to do.

He really should have listened.

“It was” Loki said instead, desperate for Thor “I spent the night alone, wishing for my blonde, blue eyed headache to return”

Thor laughed and pulled back, looking at Loki’s face “There is an insult in there, I know it”

“Kiss me, Thor” Loki pleaded instead.

If he was dying, he might have one last, perfect time.

“Kiss me”

And Thor needed no coaxing as he smashed their mouths together and put all his weight on Loki so that they fell back on the bed, pressed against each other so tightly not a breath remained unshared.

Thor had both his arms around Loki as their mouths moved together, groaning loudly as Loki lay plaint beneath him, lifting himself up even as Thor’s entire weight pinned him down, gasping for breath but unwilling to break the kiss because breathing seemed so trivial now.

“Loki…” Thor rasped “I didn’t know I needed you like this”

He moved his mouth down his long neck, nipping him here and there, kissing his skin and sucking it between his lips to mark.

Loki gasped, tipping his head back, his teeth grit at the pleasure that coursed through him.

“I love you” Loki gasped “Thor, I love you so much”

Thor hummed against his skin, opening his mouth wider, taking in Loki’s skin, pleasuring him as he tasted and marked, as he felt Loki’s chest heave under his own, his heart race within.

“Have me…” Loki pleaded “Please, Thor, have me”

Thor groaned loudly and he kissed Loki, slackening their jaws and slotting their mouths closer together as they  kissed with a burning passion.

“Loki…” Thor gasped, mouthing Loki’s neck “touch me”

Loki obeyed, lifting his hands to Thor’s mighty shoulders  and raked him over his clothes with his nails moaning as Thor sucked another bruise on his skin. He moved his hands to unclasp Thor’s cape and started to remove his armor.

Thor growled as he lifted his mouth from Loki’s neck, fitting his hands around his waist to lift him higher on the bed and place him flat on the mattress, climbing on top and kissing him all in one swift movement.

Loki’s hands fumbled as they tried to remove Thor’s clothes and Thor lost patience.

“Too slow” Thor growled.

Loki laughed as Thor undressed before him, throwing everything around before he loomed over him again.

“You find this funny?”

Loki grinned “Yes”

Thor smirked and lowered his head, kissing him again.

***

“Yes” Loki said, placing his chin on Thor’s shoulder and gasping loudly when his trousers were lowered.

He shuddered when he heard Thor slick his fingers and closed his eyes.

He was desperate for this.

Loki gasped and arched his back when he felt Thor’s fingers enter him.

“Thor!” he panted, whining and throwing his head back when Thor moved his finger in him.

“Yes” Thor said, kissing and nipping on his shoulder “Call me in that exact way.”

“Thor” Loki panted, clinging to him as Thor prepared him

“Now move”

With a loud, shrill, gasp Loki began to rock back and forth on Thor’s hand, releasing loud sounds as it brought so much pleasure to him.

He felt himself getting opened and moaned loudly, biting his lips till they turned red.

His knees tightened around Thor’s ribs, pressing them in as pleasure upon pleasure went through him.

Then Thor added a second finger and Loki dug his nails into his shoulders, feeling the power and muscle there.

“Thor…” he panted, tears falling from his eyes “I …”

Thor pulled back, grabbed Loki’s hair to anchor his head and kissed him into silence, crooking his fingers inside the heated passage and smiling against Loki’s mouth when he felt Loki tighten around his fingers and squeeze his legs together, digging his heels into Thor’s sides.

Loki screamed, letting it taper into a high pitched whine as he rocked himself on Thor’s fingers, wanted him to go deeper, to touch a part of him he knew Thor was deliberately avoiding.

“Thor…” he panted, pulling his mouth away “please … deeper, just a little … deeper”

Thor groaned and adjusted his hold, ramming his fingers inside him and gaining a loud whimper from Loki.

“Th-Thor…” he panted, arching his back when Thor’s fingers touched the spot.

He thrashed his head, squeezed Thor’s ribs and scratched him with his nails. He pushed forward and arched back, pulled Thor and pulled him close, then he went taut.

His muscles tightened and Loki opened his mouth on a soundless scream as he jerked and came all over Thor and his chest.

His body was wracked with shudders as he went limp and fell back on the bed, panting heavily.

Thor laughed softly and looked down at Loki, panting for air, gasping in ecstasy and still holding his lip between his teeth. Gently, Thor reached down and pried Loki’s lip out and kissed it gently, before running a hand over Loki’s head, brushing his hair back.

The man looked dazed by his own release and Thor smiled. He grabbed Loki around the waist again and shifted him once more so he could take him.

Loki gasped, shuddering, as Thor moved, kissing his torso, starting from his shoulder and going lower, his hands fisted in his blonde hair as Loki closed his eyes and panted, his breath getting louder and louder until he was moaning, feeling Thors’s teeth and lips and tongue on him.

“Thor…” he breathed when Thor began to suck a mark right where his ribs ended, biting the flesh and making Loki’s breath shudder and break, felt his whole body shiver.

Thor growled as he touched him _everywhere_ , running his hands down Loki’s sides, his hips and legs before he sat back and mouthed the insides of Loki’s thighs.

Loki’s voice broke and he almost sobbed in pleasure, pulling Thor’s hair and muttering words in his native tongue, gasping and crying out when Thor bit the sensitive flesh under his knee.

Thor moved back up and once more looked down at Loki, smiling before he caught his mouth in a kiss.

Loki responded in kind, pressing himself up, opening his mouth wider for Thor as he gasped and panted and _begged_ for more.

Loki couldn’t help but gasp as Thor spread his legs apart.

Thor kissed him once more, nuzzled his neck and moved in without hesitation.

Loki made a choked noise, arched his back and placing his hands on Thor’s shoulders as he moved inside him, rocking him back and forth on the bed. He could feel himself be stretched open and looked around, gazing at Thor in wonder.

Oh, how he had missed this…

“Thor…” Loki gasped “Yes…please, Thor, please”

Thor kissed his neck, his chest and Loki shuddered in pleasure when Thor ran his tongue just above his diaphragm, under his heaving chest. He bit him, a large bite that made Loki arch against his mouth, curl a hand behind his head and keep him there.

“Hurry”

Thor chuckled, continuing his thrusting and Loki moaned when he hit his spot again.

Thor hummed, pushing himself in and pulling out to go in with more force, smiling when Loki moaned loudly, digging his nails into his skin. He moved in again and Loki lifted his hips, asking him to give him the best, begging him for more as his mouth opened on loud, voice laden pants.

“Thor!” Loki yelled, lifting his legs beside Thor again, fisting a hand painfully in Thor’s hair and tugging on it, asking for more, more, _more_! “My darling, please!” 

This time, Loki screamed when he came, his toes curling as Thor moved inside him, making him see stars before he went limp.

He might have passed out because when he woke. Thor was _still_ moving.

Loki moaned as he realized it would be painful soon and placed a hand on Thor’s shoulder.

Mercifully he was understood and Thor arched his back, hands tearing at the sheets as they rested beside Loki’s head and he was _stunning_ like this.

He fell on Loki, panting and gasping for air, giving him deep kisses and touching him everywhere.

After sometime, he pulled out and dragged Loki close to his chest, resting his head on top of those black locks and closing his eyes.

“I …” Thor panted, eyes closed “I love you…Loki, this time I have been away…I didn’t realize how much I missed you…”

Loki hummed and pulled him close, ignoring the voices that were already damning him until they shut up.

“Why did you go to Midgard?”

Thor grinned and laughed and it made Loki look up at him with a frown.  
“What’s so funny?” Loki asked.

Thor looked at him, smiled and moved to flip them until Loki lay on top of him and he could look up into that beautiful face.

“I want to take you to Midgard” Thor said “just the two of us. It is an amazing place and I _know_ you will love it. You’ll meet my friends, they already know everything about you and want to meet you desperately”

Thor placed a hand under Loki’s chin and smiled “Please say you will go with me, Beloved”

Loki blinked, a little apprehensive, but …

He had so much he needed to tell Thor before …

But then Thor would leave … Thor would leave him and Loki was going to die because he wouldn’t be able to handle it…

“Thor…” he began softly, the confession on his lips.

But Thor, damn him, leaned over then and kissed his traitorous mouth before falling back.

“Just say yes” Thor said, playing with his black hair “just … say yes”

Loki opened his mouth and closed it, feeling his heart hammer inside his chest.

“Yes” Loki gasped, looking at Thor with large eyes “I will go to Midgard with you”

***

Of all the things, Loki didn’t expect to be summoned to the training room that morning.

He was playing with Hela, letting a trail of string run around the entire room as he manipulated it with his magic while he was perched on his desk, making his way through a peach slowly.

His green eyes were following the cat so when she jumped up and landed ungracefully, he laughed.

That was when the doors were opened and he looked up, frowning.

A guard bowed low to him.

“Majesty” he said “General Bragi demands your presence in the training arena”  
General?

Loki blinked and nodded “Alright, tell him I am coming”

“Yes, your highness” the guard bowed again and left retreating slowly until he closed the doors with a dull thud.

Loki sighed and looked at Hela “Well, that’s it for our game. Do try harder next time”

Hela meowed and cocked her head to the side and Loki threw the peach pit at her, laughing as she began to play with it and shot it across the room.

Shaking his head, he stood from the table and walked down the halls, nodding to guards and maids, helping a young woman that had dropped her baskets of fruit and walked out into the Aesir sun.

He was halfway to the arena when something small and soft and blonde hit the back of his legs, startling him.

He looked behind him and saw a small girl, fixing her dress and muttering.

“Forgive me, young sir, I was…” she looked up and smiled “You’re the new prince!”

Loki, already taken by her grin that lacked two front teeth, fell completely in love with her.

“Yes, and you must be our new duchess” he said, kneeling before her “I was wondering where you had run off to”

She giggled and began to twist her dress in her hands “I am not a duchess, I am the blacksmith’s daughter”

“You are!?” Loki put on a surprised face and placed a hand over his heart to complete the look “My word, you look like a duchess right out of the castle itself!”

She gave a shrill giggle and blushed, looking at the ground.

Then she gathered her courage and looked up again “I’m Agnus”

“Well, Agnus” Loki held out a hand and kissed her knuckles when she gave it to him “I’m honored to meet you”

She blushed again and kept a hold on his finger “You’re really handsome”

She made a small, choking noise and hid her face in her hands while Loki felt his face heat up.

“Am I?” he said “How about now?”

There was a soft poof and Loki had donkey ears.

Agnus shrieked in laughter “Oh no, look!”

She pointed to his ears.

“What?” Loki asked in surprise, raising his hands to feel his ears “Oh my, they weren’t there when I left the castle this morning.”

Angus laughed again and reached over to touch.

Loki bowed his head and smiled when she giggled again.

When she was done, he looked up and smiled “So, has the young duchess lost her way?”

“Nay” she said “my mother is over there, buying flowers and I was running to the fountain. But then I met you and I liked you.”

She looked up at him, suddenly shy “I wanted to see you for so long, but I couldn’t. Mother and I went to the fair but then…”

Loki blinked when the girl frowned at him.

“You didn’t deserve what happened” she said “and they didn’t deserve to be free. You know what I would have done?”

“What?” Loki asked

“Hit them with rotten eggs” she said “and sour cream”

Loki laughed and cupped her cheek “Well, I lacked your bravery, my brave lady. Had I been as brave as you, I would probably been able do to it”

“I can” she said, pulling at her dress “When I become a shield maiden like Lady Sif”

“Better, I must say” Loki said “I do believe I will wait for you to best Thor”

She laughed “Nay, I cannot beat him!”

“Of course you can!” Loki said “because I will tell you a secret”

“What?” she asked eagerly, leaning over so Loki could whisper in her ear.

“Thor is rather ticklish”

Agnus laughed again and leapt back, both her hands over her mouth “Truly?”

“Aye” Loki crossed his heart “Trust me”

“Then I will raise my sword to you when I defeat him” she bowed.

Loki nodded before he spotted a woman looking a little frantic.

“I do believe your mother is looking for you”

Agnus gasped and whirled around then she spun back and bowed to Loki.

“Good bye, Majesty” she said then straightened and blushed brightly.

Loki stayed still as she suddenly leaned over and kissed his cheek then laughed and ran away in a flurry of skirts and laughter.

Loki smirked, touched the place she had kissed and laughed.

He stood and waved to Agnus as she waved to him and bowed before turning and walking to the training arena where his mentor was waiting.

***

Bragi was not amused.

He made that very clear to Loki.

He said not a word, but the moment Loki entered, smiling as he thought of Agnus, he looked up, his golden gaze molten and unmerciful as he looked upon his apprentice.

Loki faltered to a halt, blinking at the near sinister way he was being glared at.

“So?” Bragi asked, wrapping bandages around his hands “you’re late”

Loki gulped and realized that one of the things Bragi had said early on in their training was that he wasn’t going to be spared if he was late.

“I …” Loki said, walking forward “I assumed you were unwell”

“I was” Bragi said, finishing one hand and starting on the other “But now I am not. Take your position”

Loki nodded and pulled off his coat, going to place it aside and reaching for the large leather battering bag he practiced on.

“No”

Loki blinked and turned.

“Today, you fight me” Bragi said, finishing his task and walking over, muscles rippling beneath the thin tunic he wore.

Loki felt his jaw drop and his heart begin to race “W- what?”

“I said, you fight me” Bragi went and stood in the arena “Come on”

“I …” Loki turned to face him “I can’t fight you, I … you haven’t even taught me how to attack a moving target”

Bragi scoffed “You went to fight against Farbauti and your brother alone, you can fight me. Now come on”

Loki stared “You … you can’t be serious, I …”

“What’s wrong?” Bragi frowned “You can fight a full blooded Jotun without a moment’s thought but you hesitate here?”

And suddenly, Loki knew the real reason he was here.

Bragi was about to scold him.

Badly.

Loki sighed and walked over “Bragi…”

“What the hell is wrong with you, Loki!?” Bragi yelled “Have you completely lost your mind!?”

There it was…

“Do you have any idea how stupid that was!?” Bragi advanced “You have no training, you can’t even fight against _me_ , how the hell were you going to fight against Farbauti!? And for something so trivial!?”

“Your life is not…”

“I am not done!” Bragi cut in “And what happened with Amora!? I thought you could handle her!”

“She was…”

“No!” Bragi lashed the air with a hand “She didn’t do anything, _she_ wasn’t responsible for your capture, you were!”

Loki looked at him in shock.

“She stopped your magic because you let her!” Bragi yelled “She captured you and dragged you to that sick monster because you let her! Had you shown a modicum of the magic you had when you hurled me across a room, she couldn’t have even dared to touch you! You let her do this to you, you let your _fear_ over take you”

Loki blinked and pulled his lips inwards, dropping his gaze to the ground.

“Was everything I taught you for naught?!” Bragi yelled “Was every verbal lesson, every advice I crammed in your head worth nothing!? Will you always forget what I say when you face your enemy? Am I the only one that knows what your magic can do!?”

Loki blinked at the floor.

“Don’t look at the ground, look at me!” Bragi ordered.

Loki obeyed, his hands tied before him.

“Farbauti is very strong, yes” Bragi said “he is sick and twisted and sadistic and not even I stood a chance against him. Amora, on the other hand isn’t. She is weak, empowered by the magic she steals and driven by her jealousy. You are above her in every way, more powerful than her, how could you freeze like that!?”

Loki blinked again, looking at Bragi.

“You need to make yourself stronger, Loki and you need to end this threat” Bragi said “Amora is someone you can easily down and I will not rest until you do.”

Loki swallowed and looked at the wall behind Bragi.

“And neither will you”

Loki’s eyes turned to Bragi and he stared.

“You will not leave this arena” Bragi said “Until you throw me on my back and have a foot shoved in my throat, understand?”

“Bragi…”

“That is Sir to you and I said ‘Do you understand?!”

Loki immediately lowered his gaze “Yes, Sir”

“Good” Bragi rasped and took a few steps back, taking a deadly stance “Now, attack”

Loki looked up, took a deep breath and raised his hands before him like he did to his practice dummy.

He waited, taking in Bragi’s position and lunged.

Loki aimed, as he always did, with an arc to Bragi’s shoulder.

He yelped a moment later when his arm was grabbed and he was spun on his own momentum and slammed into the ground, raising a large cloud of dust.

He groaned.

“Get up” Bragi said “and attack again”

Loki sighed and stood. He dusted himself off and turned. This time, he kicked, aiming for Bragi’s head.

Bragi grabbed his ankle and pulled, upsetting his balance and Loki found himself on the ground again.

“Again”

Loki exhaled and stood, once more attacking, trying to tackle Bragi.

This time, Bragi stepped out of the way and grabbed Loki’s arm, twisting it painfully behind Loki’s back until Loki gasped in pain.

“Bragi, stop!”

“Fight me” Bragi rasped “defeat me, then command me”

Loki stumbled when Bragi released him and rubbed his arm, glaring at him.

“Again” Bragi said.

Loki growled and took another approach, spinning, like he did with his daggers and aiming for the back of Bragi’s neck.

He huffed as he was kicked in the gut and sent flying back, hitting the dirt painfully.

Loki snarled and stood, dropping all tactics and running towards Bragi, having had enough.

Brag grabbed his wrist, spun him around, threw him to the ground and pulled his arm back, resting a knee on his back.

Loki gasped in pain, snarling and trying to dislodge him.

“And that is what is going to kill you” Bragi panted.

Loki stopped moving, staring at the ground so close to his face.

“I know of you desire to save those you consider friends” Bragi said gently “but this is not the way. You have an instinct to protect and the ability of a true warrior, but lashing out in impulse and being as careless as you were all those days ago will only kill you. Take your revenge, it is your right, but be stealthy about it, plan it and only then implement it. do not go running headlong into it, understand?”

Loki nodded as much as he could.

“Good” Bragi smirked “now…”

The rest of his sentence was cut off when a powerful blast of magic sent him flying off Loki and slam into the harsh ground from an impressive height.

Bragi lay stunned, looking at the ceiling until Loki came into his view, looking smug.

“You forgot your own lesson” Loki told him “If you’re going to kill someone, kill them, don’t stay there talking”

Bragi huffed and closed his eyes and he heard Loki laugh a few moments later then felt the nudge Loki gave his shoulder.

“Come along” Loki said, “I have a little more training I need to get in before dinner”  
Bragi rolled his eyes and let Loki pull him up before they started to train again.

***  
It was a few minutes before dinner that Loki realized that training had helped him forget everything.

It had been painful and Loki felt sore because Bragi had been teaching him defense. According to him, it was the first reflex Loki needed and after the first few blows that hit him, Loki missed his leather bag.

Now, finally, Bragi had deemed it over and they were both cleaning their arms and fixing a few scratches over by the sink and talking.

“So, when did you become a General?” Loki asked as Bragi washed and wiped his face.

“This morning” he said, brushing water through his hair “Odin wanted a formal ceremony but I refused. I’m sure it will spread soon enough”

Loki smirked and pushed off the wall he was leaning against as he waited for Bragi.

“So now what?”

“What do you mean?” Bragi asked as he walked and Loki came into step beside him.

“What are you going to do as General?” Loki asked “I mean you defeated an entire Jotun…”

Loki was cut off by the doors opening and a very familiar, very blonde figure walk in.

Loki grinned “Idunn!”

He had truly missed her.

Idunn looked at him and Loki’s smile faded.

Her eyes held tears and her face was contorted in rage as she strode over to them, her blonde hair flying.

Loki frowned as she reached them.

“Idunn, what…?”

Idunn slapped him _hard_ across the face, turning his head aside, her small frame trembling in rage, tears quivering in her eyes.

Loki looked back at her, hurt and stunned and guilty all in one look.

“Idunn, I …”

She slapped him again and Loki felt tears sting his own eyes.

“Don’t you _ever_ come near me again” Idunn warned, her voice shaking.

Loki didn’t look back this time, biting his lips and squeezing his eyes shut in pain.

Idunn glared at his averted face a moment longer before turning back and fleeing, her face hidden in her hands and her sobs loud enough to be heard even as she left.

Bragi, who hadn’t interrupted, slowly turned to Loki.

“Are you alright?”

Loki bit back a sob and shook his head.

“Excuse me.”

He made to leave and gasped when Bragi grabbed his wrist and pulled him back.

“What happened?”

“Nothing” Loki said thickly, feeling tears fall down his stinging, red cheeks 

“What happened, Loki?” Bragi asked.

Loki heaved a loud sob.

“Loki?”

Loki fell on his knees, taking his hand and pulling it around him when Bragi released him and doubling over in agony as he cried.

Bragi didn’t speak, but when Loki took a loud, shuddering sob that wracked his whole body, he crouched down and began to rub soothing circles on Loki’s back.

It didn’t help, Loki only cried harder, his betrayal of everyone he loved blatantly before him and the sound of his heartbreaking loud in the near empty arena.

***

Balder was walking back from a dinner he barely tasted.

His ice blue eyes were focused on the ground and his hands fisted as he thought about what he had lost today.

Idunn

His beautiful Idunn; the woman that held his heart completely he never realized how unyielding his own grip was on hers until he broke it.

He had never lied to her, so when she had asked…

When she had asked him specifically what was wrong…

He couldn’t deny her the truth, not after what he had done.

But he should have.

Because the way she broke, the way she had fallen on the couch, staring at him, begging him to tell her it was a jest, it wasn’t something he wanted to see again.

Idunn was happiness in a corporeal form.

Sadness and heartbreak were not meant for her. And the fact that _he_ had been the one to induce it made everything worse.

He would never forget it, the way she just … went silent. The way she stared listlessly past him until he had almost panicked and grabbed her shoulders to shake her, pleading her to talk to him, yell at him, anything other than remain this way.

But she had only looked at his face, tears falling from her beautiful eyes as she sniffled and asked him only one question.

Was I not enough for you?

And that broke Balder because it wasn’t an accusation. She truly wished to know.

He hadn’t spoken, he didn’t think he could speak.

And Idunn had stood, gently pushed him away when she could have hit him and hurt him, and walked to the door of her bedchamber and closed the door behind her.

Balder had stayed on the floor, kneeling before an absent lover until he heard the first of her endless sobs.

Idunn had cried for three hours straight and Balder had stood on the other side, listening until he slid to the floor and damned himself again and again.

She had fallen asleep then and Balder had left.

He didn’t have the right to stay after that.

He wanted _desperately_ to go to her now, but he wasn’t going to.

He’d lost his right.

He heard angry footsteps and looked up, frowning when he saw Bragi striding over in front of him.

“Bragi” Balder frowned “What’s the matter?”

Bragi didn’t reply.

Instead he reached him, pulled back and punched Balder so hard in the face he fell back, crashing against a large urn and falling with it, shattering it and spilling the water and flowers planted inside.

“You sick bastard” Bragi rasped “I knew you were going to do something this stupid. I should have stopped you when I had the chance!”

Balder didn’t bother asking him, he knew what this was about.

“And to think you call me a bastard” Bragi said “You’re a traitor! Capable of doing this to your own brother!”

Balder flinched.

Bragi shook his head “I should have stopped you earlier, you disgusting idiot”

Balder didn’t reply.

Bragi snarled and spun around, stomping down the corridors and out of sight, leaving Balder humiliated and alone.

***

Loki realized he didn’t have a choice.

He had to tell Thor.

Even though it was going to kill him, he had to tell him. otherwise, he was going to find out from someone else and that was something Loki couldn’t take.

He had barely had dinner and told Thor he would tell him what’s wrong later when Thor kept on asking.

It was now later.

And Loki felt his feet turn to lead as he climbed the stairs to where they slept.

Or had slept, because after this …

Thor was setting out clothes for them both, thinking they were still going to Midgard.

He was at his wardrobe and he smiled when he saw Loki.

“Beloved, there you are, I was…”

He frowned when he saw Loki’s face and the way Loki was fidgeting with his hands “Loki, what’s wrong?”

Loki looked at him with tears in his eyes and Thor’s heart faltered.

“Beloved, what is it?” he walked over and took Loki’s hands, feeling his heart shatter when Loki pulled them back.

“Thor…” Loki said very softly, looking at a point above Thor’s shoulder “I made a mistake”

It was barely a whisper but Thor turned pale.

“What are you talking about, Beloved?”

That nickname made Loki close his eyes in pain.

“Thor…” he whispered, taking a deep breath.

“Loki, please” Thor said, grabbing his shoulders “Talk to me, tell me what happened”

“I slept with Balder” Loki said plainly “while you were away, Thor, I got drunk and I slept with Balder”

He closed his eyes then, not willing to see Thor’s face.

He didn’t have the courage.  


	25. Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor finds out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT IS THIS!? TWO CHAPTERS IN TWO DAYS!?
> 
> Nah, you deserve this.
> 
> To all my beautiful readers!
> 
> I give you the next chapter because you asked for it. I hope a certain Sheeva likes it ; )
> 
> Also, thank you all for reading!!!!
> 
> And I was wondering if you had read Kaneez (another of my short, short stories)

Three things ran through Thor at the announcement.

Dismay.

Dismay at the fact that the words that came out of Loki’s mouth, that very mouth that was his, Thor’s, alone hurt him, hurt him with the knowledge that that very mouth that has kissed him and hissed his name, screamed it in the throes of passion, had felt another’s lips and said the name of another in a way they had no right to, would never be unheard.

Disbelief.

It coursed through him like pain, tearing him from heart to head, as the words forced their way into him. Disbelief at the idea of Loki sprawled out, naked on the bed with someone else looming over him, someone else where Thor should be.

Rage.

A storm raged within him, barely contained, his fury almost a destructive rage, verging on madness and threatening to burst open the berserker rage inside him.

His arm tingled, the first time in the entire length of his marriage, his runes tingled, giving him a warning, telling him that the man before him was in harm because of his presence and Thor reacted instantly.

He let Loki go, making him stumble back because Thor had pushed him, shoved him away, looking upon him in distrust and a desire for Loki to look at him and tell him it was a cruel joke, nothing else. And he wanted to believe he had misheard him.

Thor wanted to believe he had misheard him and that the fears inside his shattered heart were not true.

But he couldn’t, he actually couldn’t open his mouth and speak, to ask, plead, beg, cry, pray _anything_ to get Loki to tell him it was a lie.

But Loki didn’t speak. He stood there, his hands rubbing his arms as he looked at Thor, huge tears in his eyes, his whole face frightened and open and he seemed to be begging as much as Thor wanted to.

Thor raised his hands and ran his fingers through his hair, clasping them behind his head as he felt tears in his own eyes because his thrice cursed broken heart was still beating.

He turned away, looking around the room.

Even after this, it raced against his ribs, perhaps trying to break itself so nothing remained from Loki’s betrayal.

He shook his head and lowered his hands, looking away from the wall before abruptly turned and saw the stairs.

Without a word, he strode forward, leaving.

“No!” Loki panicked.

He ran after him, grabbing Thor’s arm.

“Thor, please, no” he pleaded, tears falling down his pale, terrified face “Please don’t leave me, Thor, please, I beg you!”

He gasped loudly when Thor snatched his arm away violently and kept walking.

Loki ran after him, fear written all over his features.

“Thor, please you have to let me explain, you have to…”

He broke off when Thor spun around, staggering to a halt and looking at Thor’s emotionless face.

There was nothing there, nothing but coldness and barely suppressed rage.

“If you leave this room” Thor rasped “I will kill you”

Loki felt the color drain from his face, a cold sweat going all over him and dread locking into his blood like a lover’s embrace. His mouth hung open but no sounds came out because he was terrified 

He was shaking badly and he put his arms around himself before he nodded.

Thor turned and left, opening the door and banging it shut behind him, making Loki flinch.

Loki stood where he was for a long time before he felt his knees buckle and he fell to the floor, bracing himself on one hand before he knelt, staring at the floor before his tears started to fall, thick and frightened, splashing on the ground before him as he cried soundlessly, not even shaking his shoulders as he let the tears fall, like rain, crashing around him because they carried the terrifying weight of his actions.

He heard Hela meow somewhere behind him but he didn’t even turn.

Sometime later, he tipped to his side and lay curled up, half behind a couch where his heart had shattered and half dead.

Hela purred for him but he barely heard her, staring unseeing, at the room before him, thinking about how easily he courted his own death.

***

Outside, where he wouldn’t be seen, Thor was pacing.

The trees he was pacing in held little in terms of thickness and one could make out the distressed prince, hands in his hair, agony on his face and could almost feel the unending burning within his chest.

His eyes were filled with tears, his mouth set in a determined, stubborn line that barely held back the sobs that clearly wanted to escape his lips. He was staring above, looking at the stars, the fates, cursing them for this day, cursing his father for forcing him to get married, cursing _himself_ because he fell in love.

He should have known, Thor should have known he was never destined to be with the one he loved, he was forever chosen for heartbreak and agony, nothing else.

Death was the first thing that stole his love from him, now betrayal. 

Between his tormented thoughts and his agony, he wondered if this was a game. A cruel game that those above played on him, hurt him because they were sadistic and cruel and placed wagers on his pain, perhaps seeing how long it took for him to break.

Thor sniffed and a large, stubborn tear rolled down his cheek, his jaw and fell to the ground beside his feet.

He bit his lips, felt the skin break because he _would not cry_.

Not again, not after he had spent so many weeks, months and hours crying, not when he lost everything the last time. He didn’t have energy enough to weep, he was exhausted.

Sighing, he sat down on the grass, cross-legged and placed his elbows on his thighs, burying his face in his hands and tried to hide the fact that the dam was slowly breaking.

Grass crushed beside him and, for someone so lost in their shattered heart, Thor welcomed it over sounds of heartache, immediately looking up.

Bragi stood beside him, looking down at him.

Thor glared at him like an insolent boy, glowering at him for catching him like this but he said not a word.

Neither did Bragi.

He said nothing, but came to sit down beside Thor, uninvited, crossing his legs and waiting.

Thor hid again and Bragi let him, idly picking at the grass before him, watching the night as it took over their home, sending light and shades clambering and falling every now and then.

His golden eyes roved around, then lifted higher to the topmost bedroom of the Royal Apartments and he shook his head, lowered his gaze and pulled his hands in his lap and waited.

He knew it would happen, so when Thor, stubborn ass Thor, tipped to the side against him, Bragi simply put an arm around his shoulders.

“Don’t laugh at me”

“I’m not” Bragi replied, staring ahead

“You will”

“I won’t”

Thor lowered his hands and Bragi saw tears in his eyes and shining on his cheeks.

“You know?” Thor asked

“Loki confessed” Bragi said “Idunn knows, too, she came over and slapped him twice before she told him he wasn’t welcome in her company. The woman looks seventeen, for all intents, but she hits like you”

Thor felt a trickle of humor rise in him.

“Loki…”

“I didn’t need to tell him to admit it” Bragi cut in “he was drunk, he didn’t know what he was doing and that makes everything worse for him”

Thor remained silent.

“I have myself to blame in this” Bragi said “I saw how he looked at Loki, I should have…”

Thor sat up when Bragi broke off and frowned. He looked to the ground then.

“I thought I was the only one who …” Thor sighed and rubbed his face “it hurts so badly”

“I know” Bragi said “and it is not fair, to any of you. But you need to show Loki that even though this is terrible, it doesn’t sway your…”

“Why?” Thor asked, looking at him “Why must I always be the one to compromise, to take the first step, to forgive? Why can’t he stop?”

Bragi opened his mouth to speak.

“No” Thor stood, glaring at nothing “I am the only one who thinks, the only one who keeps on forgiving him and he keeps…he keeps on doing these things to me. I am tired. I am tired of having to wait for him to do something stupid and take us back three paces and I am tired of…”

Bragi stood and Thor exhaled.

“I saw them kiss and I didn’t say anything” Thor said “that was me telling Loki that it doesn’t sway my trust. But this … I will _not_ take this. He needs to know there is a limit”

“Thor, he was drunk” Bragi argued

“I don’t care” Thor rasped, tears in his eyes “He’s hurt me too much, far too much. It might never stop until I take action. And frankly, I cannot take anymore heartache”

Bragi stared at him, not speaking.

“When I lost Jane, I lost everything” Thor told him “I didn’t think I could live again. But then I met _him_ and slowly, everything was getting better, I was getting better. I didn’t think it was possible to have my heart put back together, but it happened. It was a miracle, brother, but it happened, _he_ made it happen”

Bragi took a step forward.

“And when I was so happy…” Thor broke off, looking at Bragi with tormented eyes “Maybe that was my fault. I was far too happy, I shouldn’t have been, I should have… I should have…”

“Thor” Bragi said, pulling him into his arms “Come here”

Thor all but fell on him, a heart breaking sob tearing from his throat as he held onto his brother and wept.

“Why did he do this to me!?”

His sobs were loud, the pain unrestrained as he cried, hiding his face in Bragi’s shoulder, fisting his hands in the back of the other’s tunic as he cried out his pain and agony while Bragi rubbed his back like he was soothing a child.

He didn’t speak, he didn’t say a word as he let Thor break against him, before he would pick up the pieces and set him back together.

Thor held him tighter because suddenly Bragi was the support he needed, the very man he hated for most of his life was now his pillar, his strength. He was suddenly the only one that made sense at this painful moment.

He knew he looked weak and pathetic.

He didn’t care.

Because, for once, Thor wanted to feel weak and pathetic.

There was nothing else for him, anyway.

***

He managed to calm down.

Well, he managed to calm down enough to know that he was behaving like a girl. But for some reason even as he insulted himself, he couldn’t seem to step away from Bragi or the warmth he offered.

And Thor was so cold.

Bragi, for his part, was glad there was no one around to see this; he wouldn’t have lived past the mortification.

Thor sighed, looking over Bragi’s shoulder as he rested his cheek on it, looking at the ground before him and blinking slowly.

“You are tired” Bragi told him

Thor sighed as a response.

“Go, sleep”

Thor shook his head “I can’t” 

“Have some herbs”

Thor blinked, because even though Bragi mean them as a good natured suggestion, he was reminded of how he had forgiven Loki when he drugged him, then after when he lied, then after when he kissed Balder and even now…

Thor wanted to forgive and forget, but the idea, the thought that _Loki_ had betrayed him was…too much.  
Bragi sighed when Thor’s shoulders started to shake again.

“Enough, Thor” he said, though he rubbed his back again “You have expressed grief enough for today, rest”

“I don’t know what to do” Thor took a deep, broken breath “how to face him, how to _look_ at him without wanting to hurt …”

“Thor” Bragi said firmly “Stop it”

Thor obeyed and fell silent again.

“Who else knows?” he asked after a while

“No one outside the family, though the servants suspect something” Bragi let go when Thor pulled back “but that is insignificant talk and will die out”

Thor furrowed his brow and he knew there was more even before Bragi spoke.

“However” Bragi said “It would be wise if you take Loki away”

“Away?”

“Out of Asgard” Bragi said “Thor, if you display even a modicum of resentment or anger against him, I fear it will solidify the rumors and the whole Kingdom will know of this. You need to keep up appearances that nothing is wrong”

“Out of Asgard?” Thor asked, confused “Where would I …?”

“You were going to Midgard, were you not?” Bragi asked “Stay on that plan. Take him with you. Some time away together will solve this, trust me”

“But…”

“No, Thor” Bragi said sternly “Listen to me. I may not be royal, but I know how things work. Take him away, make this your honeymoon to the eyes of Asgard, not a balm to the wound your marriage took.”

Thor frowned “I can’t…”

“Yes, you can” Bragi all but scolded him “You are about to become a King, you idiot, how will you handle problems then? I will not be there beside you, Loki will be. Loki is your wedded and it is _him_ you will spend your life with. This is just a terrible thing both of you need to move on from. Granted, it will not be easy, but you have to.”

“I …”

“Now!” Bragi snapped “Understand what I am saying, Thor. You need to fix this, but you need to do it away from the people that think so low of Loki. You do _not_ want this to get out, understand?”

“Bragi…”

“I said, do you understand?” Bragi cut in ruthlessly

Thor lowered his head “Yes, sir”

“Good” Bragi stepped back “You are right in your anger, I will not disallow you that, but you cannot stay here and display it. I know you will, Thor, even now the sky darkens with your rage. Those servants saw Loki’s clothes in Balder’s chambers and…”

He raised a hand when Thor’s body tightened in rage.

“They will raise the rumors enough to humiliate you both” Bragi said “Justified as your rage is, this is not the healthy way to release it. Take Loki away, talk there, trust me. It will be better for you both”

Thor knew he was right. Asgard may be the shining beacon of hope she has always been, but she wasn’t without her faults. The servants’ talk may be nothing at the moment, but if Thor remains this angry openly, it will reach people Thor didn’t want it to reach.

But the very thought of…

“Thor” Bragi said, placing a hand on his shoulder “I know how hurt you must be, brother, but this is going to ruin everything if you stay. I wish to help, I really do, but you need to leave”

Thor swallowed and placed his own hand on Bragi’s shoulder.

“You have helped me more than I deserve” he said “Know that I owe you more than I can express at the moment”

Bragi rolled his eyes “Stop being so dramatic, Thor, I am not doing this because I want you in my debt”

“Then why are you?” Thor asked softly.

Bragi shrugged his hand off “You’re all I have left, I already lost one family, I cannot lose another”

Thor blinked and opened his mouth to say something, but stopped.

Bragi’s eyes widened when Thor came closer.

“No, Thor, stay back, I …” he groaned when Thor grabbed him in a bear hug and lifted his feet off the ground “Damn it, Thor, let me go, this is highly annoying!”

“Shut up” Thor said, just standing there, holding him.

Bragi groaned and resigned himself to this irritating fate, turning his head as much as he could to the side, Asgard was a better view.

It turned out to be a mistake when he saw a familiar figure walking over, gaze fixed on the ground, hands in his pockets.

Balder looked just as miserable as Thor.

Silently, Bragi prayed Thor wouldn’t look.

His eyes widened when Balder looked up and saw them, stumbling to a halt. For a moment, it looked like Thor hadn’t heard him, but when his brother’s feet crushed the grass, Thor looked over.

The way he had been holding him, Bragi felt Thor’s entire body tense a moment before he was let go.

“Thor, wait…!” he stumbled back a little, then followed Thor.

But it was too late.

Balder had time only to blink once, twice, and Thor lunged, knocking him to the ground with a wordless yell, thunder tearing open the skies.

“You were my brother!” Thor roared, hitting him in the face before he got off him before he grabbed

Balder’s hair and lifted him up, slamming his head against his knee, uncontrollable in his rage “You were supposed to be my brother!”

Balder didn’t even try and protect himself, he fell back under Thor’s attack, crying out when Thor kicked him in the gut and curled up in pain, hissing when he felt a sharp pain in his back.

“Thor!”

Balder expected this, it was justified but when he felt a rib break under Thor’s attack, he couldn’t help but yell in pain.

“Thor, please!” he cried, gasping when he felt another blow break over his head “Stop!”

“You bastard!” Thor hollered “You should have stayed away, you shouldn’t have touched him!”

“Thor, enough!”

Balder gasped in relief when Thor was pulled away and rested his head on the ground, closing his eyes when he felt blood drip down his forehead.

Bragi stood between Thor and Balder, breathing heavily.

“That’s enough” Bragi ordered, matching Thor’s glare “You had your shot, you took out your rage, now it’s over”

“It’s not over” Thor rasped, still in battle mode “nothing other than my relation with Balder is over.”

He glared down at Balder, advancing on him “Did you hear that, you bastard!?”

“Thor, enough!” Bragi came forward, pushing Thor, back, growling when Thor still advanced “Step away!”

“We are over!” Thor yelled, stumbling against Bragi and yelling at Balder “You are nothing to me! Dead, you are dead to me, Balder!”

“Thor!” Bragi shoved him back and glowered “Leave”

“He was mine! He is mine how dare you do this to me!?”

“Thor, that is enough!”

A burst of magic sent Thor staggering back and he looked into violent golden eyes, his heart beating loudly.

“Leave, Thor” Bragi ordered

Thor stood there, panting.

“Now!” Bragi barked “Move!”

Thor growled, made an angry movement, but when Bragi blocked him he exhaled in anger, turned and left, letting the thunder roar above them.

He didn’t look behind him, not even when he heard Bragi helping Balder up, he didn’t turn, not even his head.

He just walked, walked on and on until he felt the damned tears in his eyes again and the first of the raindrops fall on his skin.

Nothing but rage coursed through Thor, tempered with agony and a pain that seemed never to end.

***

Loki sat on the couch, knees drawn up as he rested his mouth against them, arms around them as he comforted himself. His green eyes were focused on the mug before him, looking but not seeing the coffee before him.

Frigga had brought it.

A few moments after the thunder roared outside, she had come in like a miracle.

Loki had been on the floor, in a near catatonic state and she had slowly brought him out of it, singing to him, then holding him close when he clutched at her, hiding his face in her neck and letting her calm him as he cried softly, so softly he was barely making noise.

She kept singing and stroking his hair until he sat, leaning against her and letting his heart take a break from its torment.

Without being asked, she had started to talk.

She talked about her spinning and how she made magic from thread, it was a complicated art, one she was going to teach him. Her other sons hadn’t learnt it, but he will because he had the patience those idiots never had.

She talked about Odin and their fights when they were young. She told him that once he had left her for three days, so big was the rift between them, and though it was her fault, he returned with a flower so rare she had to make a garden to make sure there were more.

Frigga told Loki about Bragi. She told him that she and Odin had been betrothed when that boy was born and how his betrayal had hurt her. It took her time, but she forgave him because in the end, it was a mistake.

Thor took after Odin, she said. It may not seem that way but he did and Loki would see that Thor was as kind and wonderful as her own husband.

She stroked the back of his hand with her thumb.

“You are my son, Loki” she said, reaching up to tuck some hair behind his ear as he sat unmoving “I will not let harm come to you, even if it reaches that extreme. I know it won’t, but know that you are loved and wanted here. That will never change”

Loki didn’t reply, but he blinked and a few tears still clinging to his lashes fell down his cheeks to his knees.

“Enough crying, darling” Frigga wiped his tear away “Rest your head, love”

Loki didn’t move, but he closed his eyes for a moment, as though pretending this wasn’t happening, pretending he wasn’t a dirty filthy _slut_ like his brother had told him.

He squeezed his eyes shut and lowered his forehead to his knees again as he started to shiver.

Instantly, warm arms came around him and he leaned into them, letting Frigga hold him and make him feel only slightly better.

She rubbed his back “Calm down, Loki, please, you’ll make yourself sick”

“I don’t care”

It was the first thing he had said and his voice raspy and soft and broken and it made her sigh.

“Well, I do” she said, righting him till he sat “so does everyone else in this family. So stop”

She wiped his tears again, looking at his red eyes and flushed face. 

“Oh, darling, please stop doing this to yourself, nothing good…”

She was cut off by the door opening loudly and Thor walking in.

He looked just as miserable as Loki as he came in, stopped when he saw both Frigga and Loki and glowered.

Loki had frozen, staring at him like a stunned deer and was glad when Frigga stood to walk over to Thor, embracing him.

“You gave me a scare, you idiot”

Thor was glaring at Loki, watching as he cringed, lowering his eyes in shame as he bit his red, bitten mouth. Thor lowered his head when Frigga spoke and put his arms around her.

“Now, no more grief” she said, wiping tear tracks from Thor’s eyes “Sleep in tomorrow, no one will say anything. Talking can wait”

Thor hummed and looked into his mother’s eyes.

“We are leaving tomorrow”

Loki looked up, confused, Frigga frowned.

“Leaving?” she asked “Where?”

“Midgard” Thor replied “As I had originally intended. I feel some time away from Asgard will do us both good”

She hummed, wiped some dirt off Thor’s cheek and kissed it “Please, just sleep. You have had a terrible night, I want you to rest”

Thor nodded but he didn’t release her, instead, pulling his mother close and resting his cheek on her shoulder.

It was the only way he felt himself heal.

Frigga put her arms around his waist and let him hold on for a while before she sighed.

“Alright” she said, rubbing his back “I …”

“I hit Balder” Thor rumbled “I beat him into the ground”

Loki looked up with a gasp and Frigga stepped back, stunned.

“Bragi stopped me” Thor said, his voice flat “He might need you”

“Thor…” Frigga frowned.

Thor lowered his gaze and she sighed in anger, her mouth tight.

“Do not make the mistake of thinking this is over” she rasped, looking dangerous “no one harms my sons, and that includes you”

Thor looked at his boots and flinched when she walked past and relaxing only when she rubbed his arm before she left.

The door clicked closed behind them and Thor slowly lifted his gaze to Loki.

Loki stood, his heart in his throat and his eyes fixed on Thor.

He didn’t move, he just blinked impossibly large, green eyes at Thor and Thor could feel himself break all over at the thought of those eyes looking at someone else the way they had looked at him.

Growling, Thor moved forward, heading for the stairs.

“Thor…” Loki whispered very softly, one hand raised a little from where he held them around his pendant.

Thor stopped, keeping his profile to Loki, staring at the wall ahead with no emotion on his face.

Loki swallowed, unable to speak even when Thor was listening.

He didn’t know what to say.

He swallowed twice and hesitantly took a step forward, hindered by the large couch between them.

“Please…”

Thor didn’t reply and that gave Loki courage.

“Thor, I’m so sorry” Loki whispered, trying to walk around the couch but lacking the courage to face someone he so wronged “I can’t ask you for forgiveness, but…”

“You’re right” Thor cut in, still not looking at him “You cannot ask me that”

Loki bit his lip and held onto Thor’s prayers.

“Norns above, I didn’t know I could ever feel this much pain again, Loki” Thor said, looking at the ground “and now I find I can’t even think after what you did to me”

Loki licked his dry lips.

Thor straightened his back and resolve “So I won’t.”

Loki looked at him apprehensively 

“Pack your belongings in a trunk” Thor told him, walking forward and up the stairs “we leave tomorrow”

Loki didn’t want to go. There were no words for how desperately he didn’t want to leave. Not when things were so awful between them.

He wanted to stay. He wanted to stay and mend and fix and plead and beg and damn himself for eternity if he had to.

So he followed Thor as a sedate pace, one hand fisted in his trousers while the other was clutching his tunic above his heart, and reached the top of the stairs slowly.

Thor was packing his own trunk, pulling out the things he needed, his brow furrowed as he went into the trance that helped him cope.

“Th – Thor?” Loki asked uncertainly, faltering when Thor looked at him “Are … are we really going to…?”

“Yes” Thor clipped and folded his tunic.

Loki swallowed and looked around, willing himself to say that he didn’t want to go. He looked back to Thor and cleared his throat.

“I don’t…”

Thor dropped his tunic and looked right into Loki’s eyes, cutting him off.

“You don’t want to go?” he asked softly “That’s unfortunate, because we _are_ going. I am not leaving you here alone, Loki.”

Loki blinked “What…?”

He froze when Thor began to advance. 

“I said I am not leaving you here” Thor said, deadly soft as he approached “You need to know something, Loki, so listen well. And since I will only say this once, listen very, very closely”

Loki didn’t realize he was backing away until he felt the banister prod his back and he gasped when he realized there was nowhere to go.

Thor came over and placed his hands on the banister, on either side of Loki’s hips, looming over him.

Loki’s heart beat in his throat as he stared at Thor in something very similar to fear.

“Are you listening?” Thor asked, leaning in closer, making Loki lean back as much as he could.

Loki nodded quickly, his voice shaking “Y- Yes”

“You’re mine, Loki. Mine. You gave yourself to me months ago, and when you did, you gave me everything about you. You gave me your life, your soul, everything. Everything you are, belongs to me, understand? To do as I so wish. ” Thor whispered, looking into Loki’s eyes with his own, angry ones “Only I have the right to touch you”

Loki gasped when Thor roughly grabbed his waist with both hands and pulled him forward.

“I can break you if I want Loki” Thor said, lowering his head “teach you to fear me, if that is my desire. Push me far enough and you might see for yourself”

Loki whimpered and closed his eyes turning his head to the side when he felt Thor’s lips on his cheek.

This wasn’t passion, this was fear.

Thor was frightening him.

And Loki felt it working.

His hands went to Thor’s arms to anchor himself as Thor went to mouth at his neck and Loki wondered what would happen if Thor took him tonight.

He wouldn’t be gentle, no. He would do it to hurt Loki and that, more than anything, made him start to shiver and tears of fright prickle his eyes.

He wouldn’t be able to take it if Thor hurt him that way.

He sobbed once and pulled his lips inwards, eyes squeezed shut.

Thor looked at him, lifted his head and sighed.

Loki almost fell when Thor released him and put his arms around his shaking frame, his eyes focused on the ground.

“Now pack” Thor ordered “we leave in the morning”

Sufficiently intimidated, Loki nodded and waited for Thor to walk away before he forced himself to move. He stumbled to his trunk and all but fell against it, shuddering badly as he lifted the lid and took out his books, neatly placing them aside even as he panted in fear.

His hands shook and he dropped them more than once, but he didn’t stop.

Like Thor, he was using this to stop himself from thinking.

Once done, he walked to the cabinet, keeping away from Thor but finding it unnecessary when Thor didn’t even look at him, and pulling out the clothes he wanted.

He took everything Thor had given him. he pulled out his tunics, his trousers, the robes Thor had bought him, the scent he had given him that Loki put on every morning, he took the tiny earring, the one Thor had gotten him on an impulse Loki still didn’t understand, he took everything. Taking them and placing them against his heart, feeling it like a balm over his tortured flesh. He took his time, putting in everything.

He put in two of his favorite books and was about to shut it when he felt Thor come up behind him.

Immediately, Loki sat back, sliding away as Thor opened his trunk and peeked inside before he pulled something out from his pocket and placed it inside, letting the lid drop.

He didn’t say anything, but stood and left to his own trunk, sitting on it to lock the clasps.

When he lifted it up and over his shoulder, taking it downstairs, Loki moved and lifted the lid again, pulling out what Thor had placed inside.

It was a scroll, and Loki pulled it out, opened it and his eyes widened when he saw it held prayers to keep Loki’s belongings safe. No one would be able to take anything from his trunk and Loki bit the inside of his cheek in guilt.

He heard footsteps and placed the scroll back, shutting the lid and locking it before he stood. He used his magic to lift it up and carry it down the stairs, placing it on Thor’s as it sat against the wall.

Behind him, he heard movement and rustling and turned to see Thor undress and pull the covers down.

Loki blinked a few times, looking at the couch below and wondering if it would be better if he slept there.

“No”

Loki startled at Thor’s growl, turning back with a vulnerable expression on his face.

“You sleep here” Thor said, pulling the sheets up “where you belong”

Loki nodded and walked back, going to the washroom and taking his time getting into his sleepwear, brushing his teeth and washing up as much as he wanted.

He was coming out when he saw his reflection and sighed at the face of the traitor that looked back at him.

When he came back, Thor was in bed, bared to the waist with the sheets up till his knees. He was reading one of Loki’s books, a slight frown on his face.

Loki ignored him, came to sit at the edge of the bed and pulled the robe off his shoulders, letting it fall on the bed before he placed it over the footboard and slid in beside Thor, keeping to the edge and curled up, with his back to Thor.

He heard the book close and shut his eyes, praying that Thor not take him…not hurt him…not like this…

He gasped loudly when he felt Thor’s arms around him and his eyes filled with tears as Thor pulled him back.

“Thor, please…” he sobbed softly, his heart racing in his chest.

Thor ignored him, pulled him back against his front and stopped.

“Please…” Loki whispered, shaking his head “no … don’t do this, I …”

“Stop whimpering” Thor commanded, laying his head against the pillow and closing his eyes “Sleep, Loki, we have a long day tomorrow”

But Loki didn’t sleep.

He wept.

Like a scared child, he wept, even when he heard Thor sleep he wept, rubbing his face in the pillows.

He choked when he suddenly felt Thor’s lips on his nape and he felt Thor’s hands turn him around. 

Loki went rigid, his hands fisted and his eyes shut in apprehension.

So when Thor began to scratch his back, he was stunned.

Slowly, still shivering, Loki opened his eyes to see Thor looking down at him as he comforted him.

“I won’t hurt you this way” Thor stated simply.

He had said it before once, but Loki hadn’t believed him.

This time, it gave Loki hope and as frightened as he was, he couldn’t deny the warmth Thor emitted and moved closer, nuzzling Thor’s neck and relaxing only a fraction as Thor scratched his back for him.

A few minutes later, though, Loki’s soft snore rose from between them and Thor stopped.

He kissed Loki’s head softly and pulled him close, closing his own tormented eyes and willing himself to sleep.

***

The softest touch to his hair woke him in the morning and he heard a soft, sharp intake of breath and the touch suddenly vanished even before he opened his eyes.

He heard footsteps around and slowly lifted his lids to find himself curled up on Thor’s side, his pillow embraced like he embraced Thor.

Loki groaned in slumber and mild consciousness, nuzzling further into the pillow as he delayed the grief and guilt that would soon break on his head.

He heard a sigh behind him and he heard shuffling.

A knock sounded and Loki buried his face in the pillow, willing the person away.

A small noise, then more footsteps sounded and Loki heard Thor climb down the stairs.

He heard faint movement below and drifted off, back to sleep.

In the distance, he heard voices and movement, but he attributed them all to his dreams as he slept once again, holding onto Thor’s pillow like a lifeline.

His soft snores rose from the bed and Loki hummed in contentment, so when Thor came back up the stairs, he blinked and shook his head, a gentle smirk on his face.

No matter what Loki did, Thor realized, he couldn’t stop the warmth that spread through him when he saw his beloved.

He looked over his shoulder, smiling past his pain at Leah, waving her over with breakfast and taking the tray from her, giving her a wink and a grin to give the impression of a perfect marriage.

She bowed to him and left, eager to dispel the rumors of a fight in the new royal couple and Thor watched her go, his smile slowly fading when he was left alone with his torment.

He exhaled and turned back, going to the couch placed on one side of the room placing they tray on the short, long table he and Loki usually had their breakfast in.

They would sit on the floor, mostly against each other as they fed each other fruit and cheese and bread, sometimes snatching it away and placing a kiss on the opened mouth instead.

Thor smiled a little as he thought about it now and he was usually amused when Loki blushed and covered his face with his hands, turning away and Thor would laugh and hold him against his chest, whisper apologies even though he didn’t mean a single one.

Thor looked down at the table and cuffed one leg with his toe, sighing loudly.

He walked over and pulled the curtains aside, flooding the room in light and waking the figure on the bed.

He came and sat on the couch, watching Loki curl up with a groan, stubbornly trying to sleep again. He watched as Loki lay there a while longer, playing with the edge of a pillowcase as he slowly woke and he knew the moment Loki had opened his eyes to reality when he saw his shoulders and body tense.

He wasn’t lifting his head, wasn’t looking at Thor and Thor knew he was staring at the wall ahead, trying for either courage or for proving this a lie.

Thor waited, his fingers laced together as Loki finally stirred and levered himself up a little, keeping his back to Thor as he rubbed his face and sighed, resting his hand against his cheek as he sat, thinking and Thor realized he didn’t know he was there.

“Good morning”

Loki startled and gasped, lifting the sheets to his neck when he turned to Thor. He blinked a few times, clearly judging Thor’s mood, his stance and deeming him safe before he nodded once.

“Good morning”

“Freshen up” Thor said, then gestured to the breakfast “then eat. We leave in a few hours”

Clearly, still wanting to stay, Loki opened his mouth but closed it when Thor’s words from last night came back to him.

Slowly, he got out of bed and made his way to the bathroom.

Once inside, he locked the door and leaned back against it, thinking of the disaster that occurred last night.

He placed a hand over his head, scratching his hair and thinking.

Thor was …

Thor had almost…

Thor was about to…

Loki frowned when he realized that all Thor had really done was scare him.

He hadn’t hurt him. He hadn’t even harmed a hair on his head. He had just … done nothing.

And it made Loki feel a thousand time guiltier.

Swallowing, Loki walked forward, relieved himself, washed and looked in the mirror again, rubbing a hand on his stubble and lifting a razor before he turned on the water.

He was about to make lather for himself when he stopped, looked at the mirror again and stopped. He stepped back, tightened his robe and went to open the washroom doors, making sure to open them enough that he was visible where he stood.

When Thor looked up, Loki dropped his gaze and went back in, leaving the door open before he went back to the sink to shave.

He didn’t hear a word, not one word and he was sure Thor was watching.

Lathering up, Loki massaged it into his cheeks and jaw line, daring a look to the side.

He stilled when he saw the chair Thor had occupied was empty.

Stunned at the hurt that went through him, Loki felt a humiliated flush creep up his cheeks and he hurried with the rest, trying not to let the sting of rejection hurt him too much, but by the way his hands shook as he cleaned his shaving things, it was too late.

There was tingle behind his eyes, too but he firmly ignored it and sniffed only once before he looked himself up and down and walked out.

Thor was still there, though he went to the balcony and Loki came up behind him, on the edge of the room and balcony, clearing his throat to get his attention.

Thor looked back and his eyes went from Loki’s feet to his eyes before he nodded and came back, settling on the couch before pulling out two plates and handing one to Loki.

He hadn’t spoken a word and Loki was _dying_ for anything, just the sound of his voice. He was dying to apologize and he sat up straight when Thor offered him some fruit.

Loki nodded his head and took it from him before setting his plate aside. He looked at Thor and licked his lips before he spoke.

“Thor”

Thor stopped, but he didn’t speak, nor did he look at him.

“I …” Loki swallowed loudly “I need to … I have to apologize I need it desperately, Thor, I …”

Thor didn’t speak.

“I will do anything” Loki said “Anything you ask, Thor, anything. Just tell me, ask me to do something that will at least start to show you that I want to make it up to you”

No response.

Loki sighed and looked at Thor pleadingly “Thor…”

“Stop taking that potion” Thor said abruptly, reaching over and placing a cube of cheese in his plate.

Loki froze, his throat constricted and he felt the color drain from his face. His hands had already started to shake.

“W- what?” he whispered, staring at Thor in ever growing apprehension.

“I don’t think I stuttered” Thor said, then turned to Loki, waiting for his answer.

Loki opened his mouth to speak but he couldn’t. What Thor was asking was…

He wanted to shake his head, he wanted to say ‘no’ but Thor was looking at him, waiting for him to give him the answer to the one thing he had asked of him in their marriage.

“I…”

“You wanted to know what it would take for you to start making amends, I told you” he leaned forward a little “Stop taking that potion”

“But…” Loki began.

There were so many things he wanted to say, so many implications to Thor’s demand.

He was going to have Loki, even after what Loki had done, Thor was going to have him. Loki still feared Thor would be rough; he had a right to be!

And more than that…

Loki swallowed, he didn’t think he could even complete the thought of what Thor wanted to do to him, what would happen when Loki stopped taking that potion.

He couldn’t have a child, he just couldn’t.

Not now…

He _hated_ himself at that moment, hated Balder for doing this to him, hated _Thor_ for asking this of him.

He hated everything.

It showed on his face and Thor’s mouth tightened.

“I see”

Loki didn’t speak, he picked at his breakfast after he lifted the platter off the table.

No other words were spoken as they both had the most tension filled breakfast in history.

And Loki feared this was only the beginning.

***

Since there was more time than things to do, Loki ended up reading.

Thor sat downstairs in the living area, polishing his hammer even though it was perfect and occasionally tossing it in the air to catch.

There was a _huge_ issue in the room that needed to be addressed but since it would bring no good, either spoke about it.

Neither spoke, actually, being as silent as they could be because they knew their words would only hurt.

Thunder rumbled somewhere in the distance and Loki knew it was a storm just waiting to break.

He hoped he wasn’t around when it happened.

He was going through his book, absorbed in the chapter so much that it snuck up on him.

What he had assumed was stress was suddenly boiling over and the nausea hit him with a force that had him throwing the book aside and making an ungraceful landing near the water closet, emptying the contents of his stomach loudly.

He coughed and gasped as he retched, his hands shaking and had to sit on his side when his legs felt weak.

He felt over heated and uncomfortable and he was shivering.

He placed his forehead against his arm as he leaned on the toilet, gasping and closing his eyes, willing the room to stop spinning.

His heart was beating loudly and he waited for it to calm before shakily getting to his feet and going to rinse his mouth out and brush his teeth before all but collapsing on the bed with a groan.

“Loki?” Thor called “What was that?”

When Loki didn’t reply, Thor threw aside his hammer and ran upstairs, panic on his face.

He relaxed when he saw the miserable lump groaning on the bed.

“What happened?” Thor asked, walking over.

“Bad cheese” Loki groaned “it always got to my stomach”

Thor hummed “I had it as well, nothing happened”

Loki groaned and shrugged.

Thor sighed and walked over, resting the back of his hand against Loki’s cheek.

“You’re a little warm”

Again, Loki groaned.

Shaking his head, Thor walked down and summoned a maid. He waited a few minutes before she arrived and curtsied.

“My dear, would you be so kind as to heat up some green tea for my consort?” Thor smiled “he seems out of sorts”

“Of course, Majesty” she turned and skipped away, eager to please the Crowned Prince.

Thor smiled and walked back up, going to the washroom to lift a small towel and place it under the cool water, then squeezing out the extra and  taking to Loki.

Loki hissed in pleasure when Thor placed it behind his neck and sighed at the wonderful feeling.

“Thank you”

Thor hummed but said nothing, turning it over when it got warm and watching how Loki started to look better.

The maid arrived with the desired tea and Thor held it for Loki while the other sat up, leaning against the headboard.

“Here” Thor said “and tell me if it gets worse”

“It’s actually gone” Loki muttered, taking a sip and making a face before waving a hand to add sugar in the tea “I feel fine”

Once more, Thor hummed, turned and walked to the wardrobe.

Loki watched as he pulled out his armor and grimaced. He wanted to look good, but not _that_ good. He didn’t feel like being so formal.

Sighing and placing it back, he pulled out the black full sleeved tunic that his mother had made him. He took out trousers as well and placed them over his shoulder before walking to the bathroom.

 

Loki sighed and finished his tea, willing this nightmare to end.

***

The bifrost was inviting, very much so, the colors beneath their feet beautiful and fast and Loki felt apprehension uncoil within his stomach as he neared the dome.

Heimdall wasn’t there, he didn’t recognize the man standing there, so he lowered his head, following Thor as his husband led the way, their trunks being taken by a few guards and deposited up where they would easily be taken along with them when they eventually left.

Loki thought about that morning.

For a few blessed moments, he had thought that everything was fine, that Thor was talking to him, was looking at him again.

But he was wrong.

There had been concern in his eyes, but Thor wasn’t talking to him. Not now, not when his wrong was still so fresh in both their minds and hearts.

Loki sighed and rubbed his arm, thinking back on how they had said good bye to Thor’s friends, how Idunn hadn’t even _looked_ at him, embracing Thor instead and kissing his cheek, demanding he bring her something back.

Sif hadn’t looked at him either, not without hostility, and Loki suspected she knew.

Balder wasn’t there.  
He met neither Thor nor Loki and the only ones who actually embraced Loki and kissed his head were Thor’s parents.

Frigga had smiled at him and Odin had told him to be as brave as he knew Loki was capable of and Loki couldn’t help but bite his lip and lower his head in shame.

He didn’t deserve their kindness.

Odin had stroked his head and rubbed his back as Loki leaned against him, then punched his arm in good humor, making him smile, at least.

Thor had yelped when Frigga pulled his ear as a show of affection.

“One of these days, woman” Thor growled “I will place my hammer on the back of your dress when you are in public”

Odin laughed “Go ahead, boy, know that you will me giving me a prime gift, then”

“Lecher!” Frigga shoved at Odin and blushed, almost as brightly as Loki was.

Were all Aesir this open about their … relations?

“They await you, then?” Frigga asked Thor.

“Aye” Thor said “I told them I was coming and Stark said he has prepared rooms for us. And something called a belated bachelor jam. I understand it not, but I have a feeling I will”

Frigga huffed “Knowing that boy, you will be inebriated in no time”

“No he wont!” Odin said, slapping Loki’s shoulder “He will be there to make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid”

And _there_ was the moment that ruined everything.

Loki wanted to curl up and die.

He looked like it, too.

He heard not the conversation after and kept his gaze lowered until they were taken to their horses.

When he saw Darcy, he smiled and walked over, only to have Erik intercept.

Loki gave the horse a genuine smile as it nipped at his hair, nuzzled his front, looking for treats and pulling his ears back when he found none.

Sniggering softly, Loki magicked some oats in his hand and presented them to Erik, smiling when the horse took the treats, then pulled his hair.

“If you are done” Thor called from atop Darcy “May we continue?”

Loki’s smile vanished and he nodded, silently getting on the horse.

He didn’t want to go. He didn’t want to do anything but be left alone.

There was a heavy weight on his heart and Loki felt sick again.

There was no conversation as they rode ahead and Loki kept looking at Thor, kept wishing he would turn back.

But Thor neither looked nor spoke, riding Darcy to the bifrost until the dome was visible.

Something inside Loki just… gave up and he kept his head lowered as he was guided by Thor.

Now, Thor spoke to the man who stood where Heimdall was, giving him some sort of instructions.

Loki rubbed his arms slowly and looked around, wanting to run away, wanting to bed Thor to plead and fall on his knees to get him to let Loki stay.

He didn’t want to go, he didn’t want to see more of Thor’s life and the pain he induced on his husband.

When Thor came back, Loki looked up, his eyes pleading.

“Thor” he said softly, swallowing when Thor looked at him “Please… please don’t make me go. I want to stay here, please, just let me…”

“No” Thor cut in, looking over his shoulder, then back into Loki’s eyes and spoke in a lowered voice “We are going. And the sooner you accept it, the better it will be for both of us. You aren’t exactly in a position to demand things from me, Loki, not after what you did. This is not a honeymoon or a trip I will enjoy. I _have_ to do this. Even though I truly wish to twist you in half and toss you away, I _have_ to spend these two weeks with you. So stop talking. Stop asking and _stop_ looking at me like I am someone cruel. You broke _me_ , not the other way around. You cannot imagine the pain that went through me, that still courses through me, so stop … making me feel guilty. This is your fault so own up to it, understand?”

Loki had tears in his eyes, quivering and he lowered his head again, tightening his arms around himself before he nodded “Yes”

“Good” Thor said, tipping his head up “Now put on a show for that man and kiss me”

Loki closed his eyes, feeling two tears drop on either side of his face and whimpered when he felt Thor’s mouth descend on his.

He sobbed softly and wanted to break off, because this wasn’t love at all.

This was rage.

He gasped when Thor pulled him closer, pressing their bodies together and hummed into the farce of a kiss.

Loki turned his head away when Thor tried to deepen it and though Thor frowned, he said nothing.

Thor stepped back and sensually wiped his mouth, looking Loki in the eyes and promising.

Promising him there was much more to come.

Loki swallowed and thanked the Norns he had packed his potion.

There was some relief in that at least.

Thor turned to the mouth of the bifrost and Loki followed, standing beside him.

Their trunks were with them and the humming started as the miracle machine behind them turned on.

“And remember” Thor whispered, looking at Loki “Smile like you mean it”

Loki didn’t reply, he didn’t even look, he just lowered his head and let the colors and sounds rise around him, taking him away from the place that was once his home.


	26. Breserk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki loses it

Tony Stark.

One genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist whose name was called from women’s lips in both love and pure, unadulterated rage, who was capable of much more than anyone, especially himself, would have thought.

He was strong and powerful, noble and caring and an all round bastard when he wanted to be.

Which was what Pepper was considering calling him because he had been holed up in his damned basement for so long that he probably couldn’t recall her name if she asked him.

“Tony” she said, walking in, trying not to roll her eyes when he didn’t even look up from the current project he was involved in.

His babies, he called them, precious.

Pepper had never been called by such sweet names and she often fantasized about wrecking his lab and just looking at his face. It became harder to resist it, every time he spent three or four days cooped up in his little black hole.

 _Sir_ Jarvis prompted, having seen the danger Tony was about to face _Miss Potts to see you_.

“Tell her I’m not home, please” Tony muttered.

_Sir, I do not think that is wise_

“Please,” Tony scoffed “she would just…”

Tony suddenly blinked when he registered the clicking of heels and looked behind him where he caught sight of a flaming haired beauty glaring at him.  

“Well, what do you know” he chuckled nervously “Today _was_ my dying day”

Pepper was not amused. If anything her, gaze went darker.

Tony straightened, thinking of the things he could have forgotten and coming up with nothing.

Meetings? Balls? Party?

“Birthday!” Tony clapped and grinned “Happy Birthday, my darling Pepper!”

He began to walk forward, thinking of the best, most expensive present he could…

_Not her birthday, sir_

Tony froze and when he looked at Pepper’s face he knew he’d dug his own grave.

“Uh…”

 _Guests_ Jarvis prompted helpfully.

Tony glared “Thanks, Jarvis”

_Welcome, Sir_

Jarvis was amused.

Pepper was not.

“Uh…”

She raised a hand, silencing him “Later. Right now, we have to make sure their rooms are clean and everything”

“We?” Tony said, then winced when Jarvis cleared his throat “We it is”

Pepper rolled her eyes when Tony moved forward with more enthusiasm than was needed for simply going to check on rooms he’d already had cleaned three times on Pepper’s demand.

She realized she was being a tad bit unfair, but this really was the only way she could get him out of the lab; anger.

It was working well so far, all she had to do was scowl and Tony would run like a panicked chicken, trying to figure out what the hell he had done wrong.

It was entertaining, but that was only a bonus.

Tony was whistling, so Jarvis had to be slightly louder when he spoke.

_Bifrost energy detected, Sir. They’re here_

“What!?” Tony jumped, looking at the ceiling as though he expected Thor to jump through “They weren’t supposed to be here till Thursday!”

 _Friday, Sir_.

“Exactly!” Tony gaped at Pepper.

_It is Friday, Sir_

Pepper had to bite her lips to stop from smiling at the utter confusion of Tony’s face. Her fake anger’s reaction was one thing, watching Tony get insulted by his own creation topped that, really.

Tony ran a hand through his hair and looked at Pepper before he blinked “How long was I down there?”

“Four days” Pepper allowed him a smile.

Tony’s face went…googly and Jarvis sighed above.

“Thanks, Pep” Tony said, leaning over and kissing her cheek.

_Guests, Sir…_

“Go away, Jarvis”

Pepper laughed and put her arms around Tony, kissing him full on the mouth and grinning when his arms went about her waist.

“You know…” she hummed when Tony started to nuzzle his neck “for someone who was curious about Thor’s new wife, you aren’t really that bothered now…”

Tony hummed a response before kissing her again.

Alarms suddenly burst through, shrill and loud, shattering their eardrums and making Tony jump back and run to the room where he placed his suits.

A second later, he stumbled to a halt when the door hissed closed and locked.

“Jarvis!” he yelled, “What the…?”

_Guests, Sir!_

Pepper had a hand over her mouth and pointed to the roof where Thor and his new wife were probably waiting.

Tony wasn’t the only one curious about Thor’s new wife. Pepper wanted to see her, too.

When Thor had come here a few days ago, asking them if he and his consort could stay here, both Pepper and Tony had gone into shock before bombarding him with questions Thor didn’t want to answer.

He liked knowing something that they didn’t, for once and it was only when Natasha and Pepper had resorted to pleading that Thor had said one word.

Loki

Now they didn’t know if it was a name or an insult.

All they had was that – Loki.

So, Pepper, having had the most experience with stubborn, idiot men, had decided that it was a name and had a banner created to be placed in the living room for the couple to arrive.

It read ‘Welcome Loki’, but Jarvis was ready to change that in a moment’s notice should she be called something else and Thor really had just insulted them in Nordic.

Tony sighed and walked back, muttering.

“Come on, then” he said “Let’s play the gracious hosts, then”

Once more, Pepper rolled her eyes and looped her arm with Tony’s as he walked out to the roof where Thor would be waiting to be escorted downstairs and into the life he hadn’t yet shared with his wife.

Pepper wondered, for the hundredth time, what she would be like.

Perhaps blonde and petite with large eyes and an innocent face.

Perhaps she would be a Viking princess, but that was just Tony’s porno stash talking.

Or maybe she would be like Sif.

Pepper liked Sif, she hoped she would like this woman, too. Unless she was really mean, then Pepper could only pretend to like her and call her names when she wasn’t listening.

She shook her head, a feeling settling in her heart as Tony led her to the elevator that would lead them both to the roof; she was going to like this woman.

The doors rang shut and Pepper turned to Tony.

She started to pat his shoulders, ridding him of dust and made a face when the stench hit her.

“Well, I don’t think you have to be worried about first impressions” she said “You stink”

“You didn’t think so a moment ago” Tony grinned and pulled her close, making her giggle.

“Tony, stop!” she said, halfheartedly hitting his shoulder but allowing the kiss he placed on her lips and smiling when Jarvis cleared his throat.

Tony broke off and glared at the place he apparently saw Jarvis “Why are you even here?”

_I’m everywhere, Sir, such is the curse_

Pepper snickered and Tony growled, kissing her again.

They clung to each other for a while, kissing and laughing, until the bell rung, announcing their arrival to the roof where Thor was waiting.

Pepper stepped back, wiped lipstick off Tony’s mouth, fixed her own and winked at her boyfriend.

“Where did you even keep that?” Tony asked as she recapped her lipstick.

“You’ll never know” she said

Tony’s eyes glittered “Is that a challenge?”

The doors finally slid open, much to Jarvis’ relief, and they turned.

And there, before them, stood the royal couple, deep in a heated discussion.

***

Tony didn’t know what to do when he saw Thor all but looming over a much younger, fair skinned man, who was watching him with big green eyes and looked like he was on the verge of tears.

He couldn’t hear them, but Thor’s growls and the other’s soft whispers could easily be heard.

Maybe the boy had something to do with Thor’s wife not being here…?

Tony wondered, but decided to interrupt because the young man got more and more distressed by the second.

“Thor!” Tony clapped his hands and was louder than usual, much to Pepper’s relief because he saw her relax and touch his arm gratefully as he walked over “I knew you would come back to me, Point Break!”

Thor turned to him and gave him a grin “Stark!”

Pepper frowned when he saw the man behind Thor lower his gaze before he hastily wiped at his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest.

He wore expensive looking clothes and Pepper wondered who he was, hoping he would look up so she could at least give him a smile.

“Lady Pepper!”

Pepper turned to Thor and smiled, giggling when he took her hand and kissed her knuckles.

“You get more radiant and much more beautiful every time I visit you” Thor said

Pepper blushed and Tony laughed

“I taught him that” Tony piped in.

“I wonder why a maiden such as you wastes time with Stark when there are so many more, well mannered, graceful and elegant men at your disposal” Thor winked.

“Excuse me!?” Tony piped

Pepper snickered and looked at Tony “I taught him that”

Tony sighed when the others laughed and turned to the lone man still standing behind them.

“Hello” Tony said, walking over and clapping the boy on the back “Tony Stark, at your service”

Loki stumbled a little, even though he was taller, and looked to Thor for help.

Thor smiled and walked over “Stark, Lady Pepper, I would like to introduce you to Loki”

Tony did a comical double take while Pepper blinked owlishly.

“What?” Tony asked

“My consort” Thor said, putting an arm around Loki’s shoulders.

Both Tony and Pepper saw Loki’s hand fist in Thor’s clothing and they realized he was either extremely shy or extremely worried.

Thor noticed it, too, and frowned, lowering his head to whisper in Loki’s ear.

Tony politely turned away, opting to look at Pepper for guidance, then grimacing when she only shrugged.

They turned to see Loki whisper something into Thor’s ear and hide his face in Thor’s shoulder, his hand crumpling his shirt.

Thor frowned and lowered his lips to Loki’s hair.

“Um…” Tony said, after a quick, non verbal prompt from Pepper “Thor, everything okay?”

Thor looked at him and forced a smile “Yes, Loki is feeling a bit under the weather. Would you mind very much if we…?”

“No, not at all” Pepper said, walking over “come along, I’ll lead you to your rooms”

“Thank you” Thor nodded to him and gently pulled Loki along, leaving their trunks behind.

Tony watched as both of them were taken away, his gaze falling on the luggage they left behind and he sighed.

“Asgardians, who needs them?”

_You do, Sir, from all the Nordic curses you apparently wish to learn_

“Are you still here?” Tony snapped

_I’m always here_

Tony rolled his eyes and walked ahead, thinking of getting into his Iron Man suit and lifting the trunks, just for the heck of it.

It would be funny, he thought, really funny.

***

Thor sighed as Loki’s entire body tensed and he heaved again, retching in the toilet loudly and coughing, taking loud gasps of air as Thor held his hair back, massaged his back.

His face was worried and he hushed Loki when he threw up again, emptying everything before sitting back.

Lifting the towel Thor had wet for him, he let Loki sit back against him and wiped his mouth and forehead. He felt Loki tremble against him as he panted in the aftermath of being so sick.

Loki looked exhausted and he was heating up again.

Thor sighed when Loki closed his eyes before lifting him into his arms and carrying him to bed where he had turned it down for him.

Setting him on the soft mattress, Thor got him a plastic water bottle and a tub so Loki could rinse his mouth before lying still.

He looked so pale and tired, hair sticking to his damp forehead as he lay with his head turned to the side, breathing softly.

Lifting the sheets, Thor placed them over Loki and pushed his hair back, making Loki flutter his eyes open.

“I hate cheese” Loki rasped

Unwillingly, Thor’s lips quirked “Obviously. I have water and necessary things for you, do you want me to get them?”

Loki nodded and closed his eyes , Thor went to get him some medicine and juice.

Handing them over, Thor sat at the edge of the bed and pulled Loki’s feet out, taking off his boots and massaging his feet.

Loki sighed in contentment and shifted to give Thor more room as he sipped the juice.

“Who was that woman?” Loki asked after a few moments.

“Lady Pepper” Thor replied “Stark is her beau”

Loki hummed and lay back again, realizing he was already starting to feel better. But Thor didn’t need to know that, and Loki placed his other foot on Thor’s thigh, closing his eyes when Thor kneaded it.

“How long have you known them?” Loki asked again

“A few years, give or take” Thor responded, focused on his task.

“You named your horse after them”

“Yes”

“Which one is Erik?”

“Not here”

Silence.

Loki sipped his juice quietly and listened to the sounds around him, looking at the Midgardian inventions and everything that he had never seen before.

“What’s that?” Loki pointed to a black square fixed on the wall opposite the bed.

Thor twisted around to see “A …Tevel… Lete…TV, they call it. It is a box that shows them moving pictures and make sure they stay in one place for a very long time.”

“Like a spell?”

Thor shook his head and turned back “It works with a memote”

“What’s a memote?”

Thor looked around for the device and nodded to the bedside table when he found it “You press a button and it works”

Immediately, Loki picked up the remote and read what was written on it.

One large button appealed to him and he pressed it.

Instantly, the TV turned on and showed a man sitting at a desk, talking to them both and telling them what was happening.

Loki’s eyes went wide when he showed a large hurricane gathering somewhere “Thor, look”

Thor turned around and saw the hurricane, frowning at the thought of why Loki was showing this to him.

“It shows what you can do”

Thor blinked and lowered his gaze smiling a little before turning back.

“Aye” he went back to massaging Loki’s feet and watched him go through the TV, gasping every now and then and whispering to Thor.

Then, Loki reached something that stopped him short and he frowned, sitting up and making Thor look at him, then at the TV.

“Thor, what is that?”

Thor turned around and saw a familiar face.

“Oh” he scooted over to sit beside Loki “That is a ‘movie’. It is a story. Stark made me watch this one, it is rather interesting”

“It has a mage” Loki said, shifting closer so that Thor could hold him against his side.

“Yes” Thor said “He is called Gandalf. And that little man over there is Bilbo Baggins, a hobbit”

“What’s a hobbit?” Loki asked

“A fantastic creature” Thor told him “they do not seem like much, but they are capable of great feats. Like this one, for example, is going to save the world and destroy Orcs”

“Orcs?” Loki asked, brow furrowed

“Aye” Thor said “dreadful creatures, and _look_ , those two are brothers, Filli and Killi, they are silly and behave like children, but they are fearsome fighters and true to each other till the end. I might be wrong but they remind me of myself and…”

Loki tensed and Thor bit his lips, looking down.

The tension that had eased away, returned and Loki could feel Thor grow colder.

And even though he expected it, Loki gasped when Thor made to leave.

“No…” 

Loki grabbed Thor’s arm and looked into his eyes, desperately trying to come up with the words he wanted to say.

Thor looked at him impassively.

“Please…” Loki pleaded “Thor, don’t leave me, please”

“I’m not leaving you” Thor said “Stop being so dramatic.”

Loki flinched and Thor gently pulled his arm away.

“I merely wish to assure Stark that you are fine” he said “he was worried about you”

Loki pulled his hand to his chest, his eyes following Thor as he went to the door and opened it.

“I’ll be back, shortly” Thor said “but if you need me, tell Jarvis to summon me”

Loki frowned but he didn’t ask who Jarvis was and nodded, lifting the sheets to his neck and lying on his side, rubbing his feet together in an attempt to get the remainder of Thor’s phantom touch.

Outside, on the opposite side of the door, Thor leaned back against it, a hand over his mouth as he stared at the ceiling, trying to stifle the pain that went through him.

He was still in a state of shock at what had happened, a large part of his mind refusing to believe it.

Somehow, the logic he was coming up with was that if Loki had truly done what he said, Thor wouldn’t be as easy with him as he was now.

He had to consciously tell himself that he had been betrayed because he kept forgetting.

And his heart, though broken, cried for Loki when he was far from him.

It was silly, yes and many would say Thor was deluding himself but he didn’t care.

It was his logic.

Sighing, Thor pushed himself off the door, his pain flaring to life again when he thought of Balder.

Balder, the brother he had always looked up to and cherished and loved …

Balder who had betrayed him like this.

It was easier for him to be angry at Balder because Thor had seen the way he looked at Loki.

Though Balder loved Idunn, it was plain to see for everyone, he _had_ lusted after Loki and _that_ was where Thor blamed him.

Thor had never done anything to Balder.

He had thought he deserved the same.

But Fate wasn’t kind, not to him, never to him.

It had taken one love away, now it wanted to take his life.

And though Thor feared Loki leaving him, Loki going to someone else, someone who perhaps deserved him more…Thor wasn’t going to let that happen.

He would keep Loki by force if he had to because Loki was everything to him.

This way, if he kept Loki in guilt, he had a chance of keeping him.

However, even as Thor thought about it, and even though Loki had been drunk, Thor couldn’t help but think that Loki wanted someone other than him.

That for all the proclamations he’d made about loving Thor – he’d still slept with Balder.

Thor feared Loki would leave him.

Loki would leave him and Thor would die.

That was it.

Thor didn’t want to die; he wanted to live.

And he would do anything he had to, to make that happen.

To keep Loki as his.

***

Tony was waiting.

He hated waiting.

And he hated suspense.

He hated not knowing what the hell was going on and how Asgard was more advanced on them and _when_ did Thor come out of the closet!?

And when was he gay!?

The last Tony recalled, Thor was straight and now…

It baffled him and his fingers tapped on the glass he held in his hand as he sat on his couch, waiting for Thor to make an appearance so he could ask him the things that were floating around in his genius brain.

He wondered how he would start.

Perhaps a joke about the Rainbow Bridge?

Batting for the other team, Thor?

Should Steve be worried?

Tony smirked and realized he would probably get punched for the last one. 

And he didn’t cherish being on the wrong end of Thor’s fist, he really didn’t.

So, he sighed and sat back, looking out of his window and smiling when he caught sight of the one thing he had done right, coming up behind him and being reflected in the glass before him.

Pepper placed her hands on his shoulders and he hummed, looking up and pursing his lips for the kiss he bestowed.

“You showered” Pepper said

“Yes”

“Without me?”

Tony laughed and let her kiss him again “I was dirty, wasn’t I?”

“Hmmm” Pepper slid her hands under his collar and gently scratched his skin “not as dirty as you can be…”

Tony grinned and craned his neck to kiss her again.

“Stark!”

Pepper leapt back and flushed while Tony growled when Thor entered, counted to three and stood.

“Point Break!” he said, rather exaggeratedly “I missed you!”

Thor laughed and walked over, reaching up to ‘high five’ Stark and making him stumble.

“I missed you too, friend”

“Aw, come on, you’re smothering me” Tony sat down and waited for Thor to do the same before he nodded to the hall “So, how’s the Mrs?”

Thor, though still new to Stark’s choice of words, understood.

“Loki has had a terrible reaction to cheese” Thor said, nodding his thanks when Pepper handed him a beer and sat on the couch opposite “I fear he will never eat it again”

Pepper laughed “He seemed a little shy”

“He is” Thor said, opening the can “It took me ages to coax trust out of him”

Tony hummed then, leaned forward “I’m sorry, but didn’t you say you had a wife?”

“I said I was married, yes” Thor took a sip.

“But…” Tony pointed to the hall “He’s a guy”

Thor nodded, swallowed and smiled “He’s Jotun”

Both Pepper and Tony blinked.

“Uh…” Tony said, frowning “Is that like being a Muslim? Because if he doesn’t drink beer, that will be a problem”

Pepper rolled her eyes but Thor laughed.

“Nay, his race” Thor said “He is from Jotunhiem, friend”

“Jotunhiem?” Tony asked “Isn’t that, you know, a place for giant icy people?”

“God, Tony” Pepper lowered her forehead into her hand in despair.

“No” Thor chuckled “He is half-blood. Jotun and Elf, he can bear children”

“Okay…” Tony said “fantasy mpreg league is about to have a blast. So....”

Pepper glared at Tony when he quickly changed his tone.

“Tell us how you met, what happened” the billionaire urged “the whole story”

“Well…” Thor said “We were at war with the Jotuns, that was why I left so abruptly last time, we had set up camp and were waiting to capture one of the royals to take back home for ransom”

“Naturally” Tony said

Pepper scowled

“And one of our men caught Loki and claimed him as his spoil of war” Thor said, sighing “I didn’t know then, but he wasn’t a good man and having Loki in his grasp must have alarmed my father because he let me have him instead”

Thor sighed “I … didn’t treat him well. I was a terrible person to him and I hurt him”

Thor looked at Pepper’s alarmed gaze and shook his head “Nothing like that, I swear. I was drunk and I tried once, but Loki hit me over the head with a bowl and knocked sense into me”

“You were drunk?” Tony asked in disbelief “I’ve never seen you drunk”

“It’s because your ale is horse urine”

Pepper made a face and Tony rolled his eyes.

“Asgard has the best mead and I was stupid enough to get drunk”

“So what happened?” Pepper asked

Thor exhaled and placed his horse urine on the table.

“Well, I was … a horrible man, not fit to be king” Thor sighed “I made a mistake by getting drunk and ended up hurting him when I didn’t want to”

“And he forgave you?” Tony asked

Thor’s eyes were focused on the floor “Yes”

“That easily?”

Thor nodded slowly “We have both done things we regret. We both put them behind us”

He spoke flatly and blinked slowly, as though lost in his past.

“He forgave you for being drunk and hurting him?” Tony insisted, giving Pepper sidelong glances even though she was aware of what Tony was doing.

Tony had been drunk more than she liked and hurt her just as many times, so Thor’s was a kindred spirit at the moment.

“Yes” Thor droned

Then his eyes suddenly snapped up and he looked at Pepper.

“Pardon me”

Tony blinked when Thor leapt over the back of the couch and ran to the room he and Loki occupied.

Tony slowly turned to Pepper and saw that she wasn’t impressed.

“Umm…”

“Later” she growled and stood, walking to the balcony.

“But…”

“Later” she snarled and Tony sighed.

He shrugged a shoulder and stood, thinking of telling Jarvis to order a new necklace for dear Pepper.

She loved them and Tony loved the way she thanked him for them.

It was a win – win, really.

So he hummed as he walked, trying not to whistle too much as he thought of ways Pepper would thank him.

***

Loki was laying on his side, playing with the ‘memote’ when his door burst open and Thor all but ran in.

Loki startled and looked up, sitting when Thor tumbled on the bed and crawled over to him.

“You were drunk” Thor gasped, coming to sit on his knees beside him and grabbing Loki’s face between his hands “you were drunk, you didn’t know what you were doing!”

Loki blinked, confused “W – what?”

Thor pulled him in and kissed his mouth before sitting back, not releasing him.

“That night” Thor swallowed, looking desperate “you were drunk. You had no idea of what you were doing, it was a mistake”

Loki opened and closed his mouth in confusion, looking at how _fraught_ Thor looked and how he was willing to believe _anything_ Loki would say at the moment.

“I …” Loki swallowed “Yes, I thought I told…”

“You love me” Thor panted “You love me, not Balder, don’t you? You want to place this behind us and leave it there”

Terrified, he was, terrified, but Thor wanted this to be real so badly he couldn’t _not_ say this to Loki. 

He needed this reassurance.

“O – Of course” Loki stammered, looking worried “Thor, what’s…?”

The rest of his words were taken when Thor kissed him again and Loki was stunned when he felt Thor’s _tears_ against his skin.

Loki gasped when Thor pulled back and looked into his eyes.

“I love you, Loki” Thor said, sounding pathetic to himself “I love you so much, my darling, please, _please_ don’t leave me, not over something like this, not when I will die knowing you left me”

Loki blinked at looked at him, feeling frightened and confused at the same time.

“Thor, what’s the matter?” he whispered, holding onto Thor’s wrists as the man held him, still.

“I …” Thor swallowed “I don’t want to lose you”

Loki felt something inside him break “You…”

“I want to keep …” Thor swallowed again, fresh tears in his eyes “I want to keep you with me forever, please, Loki don’t leave me”

“Thor, you’re scaring me” Loki whimpered

“Not as badly as you frighten me, Loki” Thor said “I thought I could stay angry at you, even resent you a little, but the only thing that goes through my mind is how I would die if I ever lost you. I already lost Jane, Loki, I died when she did and she didn’t even mean half as much as you mean to me. I died then but you brought me back and now…Loki if you leave, you will cripple me. I won’t _be anything_ ; I’ll be a hollow shell, nothing inside me and nothing other than my immortality which in itself will prove a curse”

He let Loki’s face go and grabbed his hands, kissing his fingers.

“It hurts my heart that you chose another, Loki, I cannot tell you how much it hurt” Thor whispered against his knuckles “It still hurts me and breaks me and it still angers me, but I cannot…I cannot be this angry with you, I cannot.”

Loki gulped and looked at Thor’s lowered head.  

“I want to fix this, I want to heal” Thor said “but I … I need your help, please. I can’t do this on my own, I need you to help me.”

“Thor” Loki whispered

“Loki, I will not leave you” Thor looked into his eyes “even if you beg me to, I will never leave you. you _are_ mine, but I am yours, just as much. We were meant to be together so if this is a hurdle we must pass… I will”

“You’re forgiving me?” Loki panted

Thor blinked and sat up straighter, holding Loki’s hands in his lap “I …”

Loki waited, hoping beyond hope that Thor say ‘yes’.

But Thor bit his lip “I want to…”

Loki had to swallow twice at the pain that went through him.

“You are not” he stated, pulling his hands back.

“I can’t” Thor shook his head sadly “not when it isn’t true. Not when I still…”

“Hurt”

“I’m devastated, Loki” Thor told him “You…cheated…”

Thor choked on those words and Loki looked away.

“On _me_ ” Thor said “I didn’t think of it as a possibility”

Loki flinched and pulled his hands back and Thor’s expression turned pained.

“Loki…”

“You wish to punish me” Loki said, looking at his nails

“No!” Thor said, grabbing Loki’s arms “Loki, I …”

“Yes you do” Loki said, looking into his eyes “That is why you brought me here. To punish me. That is why you won’t grant me forgiveness, as punishment”

“No, Loki” Thor shook him a little “I didn’t…”

“You wish to have leverage over me, then” Loki said “Thor, I know what I did was wrong and I will not do it again, but…”

“You kissed him”

Loki blinked, furrowed his brow “What?”

“That day, when you were attacked at the fair, you kissed him”

Loki paled “I…”

“You did” Thor said “and I saw it. But I said not a word to you, did I?”

Loki stared

“Did I, Loki?” Thor asked softly.

Loki shook his head.

“If I wanted to punish you, I would have done it then” Thor let Loki go.

Loki watched him carefully.

“I came here to tell you I want to give us a chance” Thor said “that I wish to put this behind us, I was desperate for it. But you wish to see me as a tormentor”

“No, Thor…” Loki moved when Thor got off the bed “I just…”

“You think I am punishing you” Thor said sadly “because I am not forgiving you for sleeping with my brother, right this instant. How is that fair?”

Loki scrambled over because Thor was going to the door again “Thor, wait!”

Thor stopped and shook his head “No”

Loki froze where he was, stumbling to an awkward halt.

“I wanted to give us another chance” Thor said “but I can’t do that when you insist upon being my victim. I may have been harsh, but I never hurt you the ways you have hurt me”

“Thor…”

“It’s the truth” Thor whispered and opened the door to leave “believe what you want, Loki, I have … said what I wanted to”

Thor walked out and Loki watched the door behind him. He flinched when it clicked shut and he heard a thump.

Thor was on the opposite side, standing with his forehead pressed against the door, still unwilling to leave Loki even after his desperate plea for help had gone so wrong.

***

That night, dinner proved to be – tense at the very least.

Loki was sitting opposite Pepper on the dining table and she could clearly see how disturbed he looked, using his fork to play around with his food rather than actually eat it.

His hand was shaking a little as he finally lifted a single pea to pop into his mouth and nibbled it a little before swallowing and giving Thor a sidelong glance.

Thor didn’t see the look, he was too busy talking to Tony about things they had shared and Pepper bit her lips when Loki went back to his dinner, playing with again before slipping his hands into his lap and giving up eating all together.

They seemed like the perfect couple, Thor’s hand going to touch Loki’s arm every now and then, his smile aimed on the younger man more than once in any conversation, his almost dazed look never fading.

And it seemed that Loki was nervous, nothing else.

It seemed perfect.

Loki knew it was not.

Thor had barely said six sentences to him, avoiding talking and not even staying in the room long enough for _Loki_ to speak to him.

After his confession and plea, Thor had returned once and Loki had run to him, wanting to talk, to tell him that it was alright if he didn’t forgive him, Loki was willing to wait.

But the damage had been done and Loki had seen the hope rise in Thor’s gaze before he pushed it down by sheer will and turned to leave.

Loki had grabbed his arm, pulled at him like a child to a parent and when Thor had finally stopped, he had grabbed his face between his hands, placing his lips against his husband’s, praying that Thor would let him.

Loki had almost cheered when Thor’s arms went around him and Loki was driven by the urge to tell Thor that his brother didn’t mean anything to him, not this way.

“Balder…” Loki sighed, closing his eyes and giving in to the impulse to kiss Thor again.

But Thor pulled back, mistook his broken off confession of love and Loki’s eyes widened a moment later.

“No, no no” Loki shook his head, holding on to Thor tightly “No, I didn’t mean…”

But Thor shoved him away and Loki stumbled back.

“Thor, no, that’s not what I …”

The door snapped shut and Loki was left alone, listening to the thunder rumble in the distance.

He’d slapped his forehead, went to sit on the edge of the bed and think.

And he thought.

For hours, he thought until the world turned dark outside and the room slowly lit but he couldn’t come up with a solution. He couldn’t do anything until Thor came back and at least _looked_ at him, no there was nothing he could do.

So he waited.

It took another agonizing hour for Loki to hear the footsteps and he was lying on the bed, reading a pamphlet he had found while he was roaming about and was wondering what the hell a ‘Stony Ship’ was.

Perhaps the master of the Navy that led these strange ships?

The door clicked and Loki shot up, his eyes focused on the door as it let Thor in.

He saw delight on Thor’s face upon catching sight of him before Thor masked it with indifference.

He walked to the toilet and Loki moved.

“Please!” 

Thor stopped when Loki ran forward and blocked his path again.

“Just…let me explain” Loki spoke, looking at Thor’s face.

Thor didn’t say anything, but he didn’t move away either and Loki took that as a sign that he wanted him to continue talking.

“I …”

And all the words Loki had prepared were gone.

Loki looked miserable when he lifted his gaze to Thor’s eyes.

“Let me…” Loki swallowed “Prove to you that I love only you, please”

Thor blinked and raised an eyebrow.

“How?”

His voice was flat, cold steel but Loki could sense the accent of doubt underlying his words.

Loki swallowed and slowly started to do as he had prepared himself to.

Thor was a basic creature, his brother had said, drawn to things while they were young and attractive.

Thor though him beautiful, so Loki would use the most basic way he could make Thor understand.

So, his face heating up as he did so, Loki lifted his hands and undid the first few button of his tunic, letting Thor know what he wanted him to do.

Or what he thought Thor wanted.

His head was lowered as he tried to keep Thor from knowing how he didn’t really want this so he missed the rage on Thor’s face.

After all this time together, Thor had thought Loki saw him as someone capable of moving beyond such basic things.

He had thought himself a little deeper than that and watching Loki made him realize that Loki thought him shallow.

And stupid.

Thor was more that someone who could be swayed by something as simple as sex.

And he didn’t hold it in such low regard, to use it as a bargaining chip like Loki was doing now.

He loved having sex with Loki, but he wouldn’t stand for it to be made something to prove a point.

He was more than that.

Thor opened his mouth to tell Loki to stop and noticed Loki’s hands were shaking. 

He went silent and watched, waiting to see how long Loki could manage this without breaking.

Loki exhaled, breath broken as he ran out of buttons at his chest and he lowered them, looking at Thor uncertainly.

“Well?” Thor asked, crossing his arms over his chest “Go on”

Loki swallowed loudly and nodded, dropping his gaze again, his hands fisting in his trousers and Thor was sure he saw a film of tears over Loki’s eyes.

Loki was trembling again and he didn’t know what to do.

He wanted to tell Thor he loved _him_ not anyone else but this …

It felt wrong.

Loki raised his eyes to Thor again “I…”

He gasped a moment later when Thor grabbed his arms and shoved him against the wall, holding him there and looking into his eyes.

Loki was shaking now, his chest moving up and down rapidly as he looked at Thor, at the wraith before him.

Thor was going to hurt him, Loki knew it.

But Thor had only looked at him impassively, raising a brow before lowering his head.

Loki had cringed and turned his head away, suddenly afraid – afraid of what Thor was going to do to him.

He flinched when Thor’s lips touched his ear.

“I’m more than this, Loki” he whispered.

Loki cried out ad stumbled when Thor released him and stared at the god of Thunder with large eyes.

“Dinner is about to be set” Thor told him, confusing him further “be ready in ten minutes”

Loki shrank away from him when Thor had gone to the toilet and closed the door.

Then he had placed a hand over his heart and another over his head as he tried to calm himself down.

After that, he had prepared for dinner in a daze, neither had spoken until Thor announced that they needed to keep their argument – or whatever the hell it was – away from Stark.

They didn’t need the drama in their life.

Nodding, Loki had remained silent and followed Thor.

And though no one was around them, no one to _see_ , Thor couldn’t resist touching Loki’s hand briefly, running his fingers over Loki’s palm as they walked side by side before he pulled his hand back and pasted a smile on his face to greet Pepper and Tony.

Now, Loki was doing anything he could to get Thor’s attention without speaking much, and it was failing because Thor was so intent on talking with Tony.

And Loki was left alone, watching his hands in his lap as they fiddled with each other and his fingers traced the phantom touch on his palm, hoping to feel it again.

***

Thor gestured when he talked.

And that was the problem.

After dinner, all four of them had gone to sit in the lounge, talking and chatting and interviewing.

Loki barely spoke, apart from saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’ and Pepper soon let him be, let him sit silently beside

Thor as the loud hero talked about his friends in Asgard.

Loki wasn’t really listening, focused on the floor and trying to be invisible, so it took him a moment to realize what Thor was talking about.

He looked at Thor in either disbelief or worship because Thor stood and made an assumed shape of a mountain and positioned invisible rocks on them as he told his story.

“And imagine the river here” Thor made it with his hands “It was deep, treacherously so, and even though my – simple minded – friends had all but pushed him in, Loki made for it with the bligesnipe on his tail…”

Simple minded – Thor had insulted his noble, grand friends for Loki.

As he told a story that was about Loki.

Feeling something warm settle in his heart, Loki leaned forward, watching Thor’s back as he spoke from barely a foot away, throwing his hands about.

“And I was here” Thor pointed to the direction he was in “and the other monster was _right_ here, running at me, trying to kill me, eat me alive!”

Pepper and Loki rolled their eyes while Tony listened; rapt.

“And as I fought it, I saw, I saw my consort, my brave Loki…”

Loki blushed and sat on the edge of his seat, moving closer in hopes of getting Thor’s attention, he wasn’t even a foot away.

“He was running with that monster chasing him and I felt my heart stop and  I ran raising my hands and voice to try and get Loki to listen but then, as soon as I reached the site,” he raised a hand, ready to swipe “I saw that Loki had used his magic to lop that monster’s head clean off!”

Thor swung out with his hand in a vicious arc, as he gestured to what Loki had done, and he didn’t see.

Loki’s head spun to the side with the force of Thor’s blow and he tumbled to the ground with a pained whine.

Pepper cried out and stood

Thor gasped and spun around, going pale when he saw the cut in Loki’s bloody cheek.  

“Loki!” Thor moved and fell forward, his face pale, so pale he looked sick.

He was shaking, terribly, as he saw what he had done and was afraid of touching Loki.

“Oh my God, Thor what’s wrong with you!?”

Thor flinched when Pepper snapped at him and pulled him back and Loki shrank away when he came to crouch before him.

Uncaring of how Loki pulled away, she grabbed his head and tilted it to see, hissing when she saw the cut and the bruise already swelling under Loki’s eye.

“Nice right hook, Thor” she muttered.

Thor stared in disbelief and grief, watching helplessly as Pepper stood Loki walked him off.

His heart was hammering in his chest as he made to follow, stopping when Tony held his arm.

“Forget it, she’ll skin you alive”

“I didn’t mean…” Thor whispered, looking after Loki “It was an accident…”

“I know” Tony patted his shoulder “come on. You need a drink…”

“Loki…” Thor called softly

“He’ll be fine, come on”

Thor let Stark pull him along, his gaze fixed on Loki as he was taken away, not even giving him a glance.

***

It was well past midnight that Thor finally gained enough courage to go to his and Loki’s rooms and even then he stood for a whole five minutes, hovering at the door before he raised his hand to knock.

Thor never knocked.

He heard movement inside and his breath began to stutter.

The door opened and Loki blinked, frowning “Thor? What’s the matter?”

There was a purple bruise, large and swollen on the side of Loki’s face and Thor’s mouth parted in hurt when he saw it.

He had done that.

He had hurt Loki.

“I …” Thor broke off, pulling his lips inwards.

Loki realized what he was looking at and sighed “Thor…”

“I’m so sorry” Thor whispered, standing where he was “I’m so sorry, Loki, I didn’t mean it. It was an accident, I didn’t know you were…”

He was whimpering and Loki was stunned.

Thor was pleading and begging him _again_.

Without a word, he sighed and grabbed Thor’s hand and pulled him in, letting him stumbled inside before he closed the door and pushed Thor against him.

“Thor” he said firmly “stop it. You didn’t mean this, it was an accident”

Thor shook his head and Loki saw tears in his eyes before he lowered his head.

“I’m sorry” Thor kept whispering “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

Loki watched, dumbfounded, as Thor slid against the door and sunk to the floor, raising his knees to his chest as he kept on apologizing.

It took him no more than a moment to kneel before Thor, grab his large head and pull it to his chest, kissing his hair and  embracing him.

“Stop it” Loki commanded “You thick idiot, stop apologizing to me.”

Thor’s arms came around Loki’s waist and Loki felt the first shudder as he sobbed.

“I said stop it!” Loki commanded, kissing his hair “Stop crying, Thor. You didn’t do anything, so shut up”

But Thor didn’t.

He kept muttering apologies and kept wiping his tears on Loki’s tunic as he held him close and finally broke.

***

Much later, Loki and Thor lay on bed, their legs entwined and Thor’s head resting on Loki’s chest.

They were both in sleepwear and so relaxed that they would have slept if a certain matter wasn’t set heavily on their minds.

Thor felt Loki’s fingers play with his hair and Loki felt Thor’s thumb drawing patterns on his middle as he lay on him.

One of them sighed.

“Don’t”

Loki blinked at the lazy command “What?”

“I said don’t” Thor rumbled “don’t talk about it, don’t think about it…just let it be”

Loki stroked Thor’s hair “Until when?”

“Forever” Thor said, making circles on Loki’s stomach “It’s behind us. I won’t let it hurt you anymore”

Loki furrowed his brow “What about you?”

Thor hummed and closed his eyes “I’ll survive”

He had no other option.

Let go and live.

“Thor?”

“Hmm?”

“I don’t like Stark”

Thor’s lips slowly formed a grin and he laughed once “Really? Why not?”

“He’s too…” Loki thought about it “Arrogant”

“I’m arrogant”

“No, Thor, you are an arrogant ass, please get your facts right”

Thor hummed in laughter and nuzzled Loki’s chest “You think he arrogant?”

“And conceited, vain, self important, proud, high and mighty”

Loki sniggered when Thor tickled his sides, squirming to let Thor know that tickling mean dislodging.

Thor understood and relaxed again.

“But you’re also noble, kind hearted, loyal, beautiful, reliable and unbelievably compassionate. You are strong and powerful, wise and, no matter what anyone says, intelligent”

Thor frowned “What do people say?”

Loki laughed “Oh, nothing”

Thor lifted his head to look at him and Loki whined in dismay.

“Thor” he whined “put your head back down”

“Do people think me stupid?” Thor asked

“No” Loki said “I’m calling you stupid because you aren’t listening to me. Now put your head down, stupid”

Thor laughed and obeyed, smiling when Loki resumed his strokes.

“So what else do you not like about Stark?”

“He boasts a lot” Loki said “and tries to drink even though his lady pretends not to notice”

“What else?”

“He’s loud”

“I’m loud”

“No, you’re deafening” Loki smiled “sometimes I fear I will lose my hearing”

Thor lifted his head and gave him a dry glare.

Loki smiled until he saw Thor’s eyes go to his bruise again and he smirked.

Thor blinked when Loki presented his injured cheek to him.

“Kiss it better” Loki said softly.

Thor looked hesitant and rolled his eyes.

“Just do it”

Softly, so that he doesn’t hurt Loki more, Thor lowered his head and kissed the bruise.

He gasped when it started to fade, the skin heal and the skin become as good as new.

He raised his surprised gaze to Loki.

His green eyes were glinting and he was smiling.

Thor almost kissed him.

Almost.

Loki felt his heart ache when Thor kissed his cheek and jaw rather than his mouth and pulled back to rest his head on his chest again.

“Good night, Loki”

Loki closed his eyes and continued to stroke Thor’s hair.

“Good night, Thor”

My love, my beloved, my heart, my life.

“Good night”

“Okay, so when did this turn into a dinner?” Tony asked a few days later dryly, leaning against the door as he watched Pepper place dishes and plates on the large dining table Tony had, but didn’t know how to use.

It wasn’t a machine.

How the hell was he supposed to use it?

Pepper smiled at him “When I said so”

“When did you say so?” Tony frowned.

“When you weren’t listening” Pepper said easily, placing a few glasses after she was done with the plates and taking a step back to admire her work.

Tony rolled his eyes “What is it with women and dishes?”

“Do I undermine you and your machines?” Pepper asked, focused, as he moved a champagne glass to the left

“Yes”

“That doesn’t give you permission to berate my work” she replied.

“Berate?” Tony scoffed “What are you, seventy?”

A moment later, he straightened off the doorjamb and made a hasty retreat when Pepper leveled a glare at him.

Shaking his head and thinking of what people would say when they saw Iron Man running away from a woman, Tony walked down the halls and thought about going to his lab.

He changed his mind and turned to where Thor’s suite was, hoping to have a chat with the man and try and get a good look at his new – husband.

Wow…Iron Man was afraid of women and Thor was married to a man.

Comic Con was going to get _really_ interesting this year.

Maybe he might run into a few of those fanfiction writers again. The last time he’d had an … argument…about _certain_ pairings.

This time, he would keep a cool head and maybe even kiss Steve’s cheek in public, just to spur those women on.

Laughing, at the look on poor Steve’s face, Tony turned into the hall to Thor’s suite and promptly had to stumble back when he came face to face with Loki.

He was younger than Tony, or he looked younger, and though he was a few centimeters taller, he blinked in surprise and retreated a little, clearly wishing he was somewhere else.

But Tony smiled “Hey, Loki, I was just coming to check up on you. You need anything?”

Loki shook his head and awkwardly played with his hands a little before tying them in front of him and looking at the floor.

“No, thank you” he whispered

Tony winced, because this was more awkward than the dinner with Pepper’s parents he never attended.

“So…” Tony said “Where’s Thor?”

“I … I don’t know” Loki said, looking somewhere over Tony’s shoulder “I was … looking for him”

“Great!” Tony grinned and closed the distance between them, putting an arm around Loki’s shoulder, ignoring how he flinched “Come on, let’s look for him”

“Um … I …” Loki stuttered, looking behind him at the door as Tony led him out “I should…”

“Nonsense” Tony waved it aside “Jarvis! Pour this good man some of my best, you hear?”

_Yes, Sir_

“No, it’s really alright, I should…”

But Tony didn’t let him speak and Loki was taken to the large living room and placed on a barstool at the very end, the cupboard hissing open and a large glass filled with Tony Stark’s best alcohol.

“Awesome, right?” Tony said, walking over and taking it out, placing it before Loki “have a drink”

Loki shook his head and took one hand from where he had them in his lap and pushed it away.

“I don’t drink, forgive me” he said softly, looking around for Thor 

“Juice, then”

Loki looked back at the strange human, feeling so uncomfortable without Thor that he wanted to run.

But this man had Loki as a guest in his house and Loki wasn’t rude.

Maybe after he had the juice he could make a run for it.

“Okay” Loki said, placing his hands in his lap again.

Tony looked at him as he went to the nearest fridge and took out a jug of juice that Pepper made him drink every day.

“So” he said, getting Loki’s attention “Thor said you weren’t feeling well. Are you better now?”

Loki nodded and dropped his gaze to the table. He nodded his thanks to Tony when he placed the drink before him and took a sip.

Tony laughed when Loki made a face and pushed it away.

“Not your thing?”

“What is that?” Loki asked, grimacing “it tastes awful”

“Say that when Pepper comes around, alright?” Tony grinned and went back _again_ to get Loki some orange juice “And that was … hell, I don’t know what the hell I was”

This time, Tony leaned on the table opposite and watched when Loki took a sip and seemed to like it. He placed it down again and rested his hand on the table, drawing a pattern his eyes seemed focused on. 

“Approved?” Tony smiled

Loki looked at him, nodded, then turned back to his finger.

Tony sniggered once “Not much of a talker, are you?”

“Where’s Thor?”

Tony resisted the urge to roll his eyes “I dunno, out, I guess. You know, I won’t bite you, don’t you?”

Loki looked at him and blushed “Yes”

“Then talk, kid, it’s allowed, you know”

Loki sighed and lowered his hand to his lap, slouching over and looking at the window, glancing outside.

He blinked a few times when he focused on the setting sun.

Cooped up in the rooms, he had a view of the New city of York but not one as grand as the one from the huge, glass windows that held this man’s balcony and overlooked the city from this height.

Tony smiled “Come on, I’ll show you around”

Immediately, Loki seemed to shrink into himself and shook his head “I …”

Tony watched as he picked up his juice and slid off the stool .

“I should go,” Loki said, tapping the glass he held like a chore “thank you, for the juice”

“Loki, are you alright?” Tony asked, frowning.

Loki looked at his face again, and licked his lips before nodded “Yes”

Clearly, he wanted to go and though Tony wanted to talk to him, he nodded “Alright, but let me…”

He broke off when the elevator rang and the doors opened to reveal Tony’s dinner guests.

“Stark!” Clint yelled obnoxiously “Where the hell are you?”

Behind him, Natasha, Banner and Steve walked in, either rolling their eyes at Clint or muttering at his lack of manners.

“God, Clint…”

“What?” Clint asked, moving in further “you know how…”

He broke off when he saw a scandalized looking man and Tony looking at him.

Tony looked irritated while the other looked like he wanted to run.

“Uh…”

“Friends!”

Loki heaved a sigh of relief when he heard Thor’s voice boom from the halls but manage not to hurl himself into his arms when he walked in.

He spotted Loki and faltered.

“Loki” he said, frowning “Are you alright?”

“Loki!?”

“Yes” Loki replied to Thor, ignoring the obnoxious call that red-haired woman gave “I was … looking for you”

“I was in the training area, I told Stark” Thor walked over

Loki turned and gave Tony a dismayed glance, making the other wince before he let Thor put an arm around him, fisting his hand in the back of Thor’s tunic to let him know he wasn’t comfortable here.

“Relax” Thor kissed his hair, then turned to his confused friends “Fellow warriors, I want you to meet my wedded, my life partner and my consort; Loki”

There was a stunned silence where all they could do was stare.

The click of a camera sounded.

“God, Tony”

***

Loki had _never_ been stared at like that and it had been humiliating.

He had believed Thor when he called him beautiful and had fit in with him, but now, as he was _looked_ at every five minutes, he felt like an oddity sitting between these people that considered themselves normal.

The worst was the man called Clint.

He’d taken a seat next to Loki at dinner and kept looking at his face. Loki had feared he would start prodding him and looked so miserable that the red haired woman had kicked Clint and demanded he sit on the opposite end of the table, away from Loki.

Loki had been grateful and he realized he liked this woman, at least.

She wasn’t judging him and he asked him things he liked responding to.

“So, magic, huh?” she said, looking elegant in a simple black, sleeveless dress.

And though her attire would shock all of Asgard, Loki liked her because of it.

“Yes” he said softly “but I’m terrible at it”

“Show me” she said, sitting back and basically giving him no choice.

Loki smiled softly and lifted a hand to touch her fork with a finger.

Natasha’s eyes widened when tendrils rose where Loki’s finger had been and slowly transformed the fork into a red, red long stemmed rose.

She gasped when the stem coiled and the flower lifted itself to her hair, fixing itself into her fiery locks.

She laughed and a small applause followed, overrun by Thor’s usual clapping.

Loki blushed and felt Thor’s hand sneak onto his lap and give his free hand a squeeze.

Loki looked at him once and turned brighter, prompting Tony to coo.

He was hit in the head by Bruce, the man with the anger problems.

“So” Steve said, folding his hands on the table and looking at the new addition to their team “Tell us about yourself”

“Yeah” Tony said “Starting with how much you hate Clint”

He yelped when Clint kicked him and Clint growled when Bruce pinched his side.

“The hell!?”

“Shut up, Loki’s talking” Natasha snapped, shutting everyone up and gaining a grateful look from Pepper.

Suddenly the center of attention, Loki seemed intimidated, but Thor’s hand gave him a silent confidence.

“Well” Loki said, looking at his hand as he played with the table cloth “There’s not much to tell, really”

“Oh come on” Tony said “That’s no answer. What did you do before you met Thor?”

“When I met him, he hurled Tony at me” Steve told Loki “then they proceeded to fight over something neither of them had”

“Oh please” Tony rolled his eyes at Steve “My attack was warranted. I saw a flying man and I _knew_ Superman didn’t exist”

“I have a plan” Clint mimicked in Iron Man’s voice “attack”

“Go to hell, Clint” Tony scoffed.

Bruce laughed and Pepper had a hand over her mouth as she snickered.

“Okay, okay” Natasha waved her hand “I want to hear Loki’s story”

Thor looked at Loki when his consort squeezed his hand and felt his chest constrict as he realized his life wasn’t something Loki liked talking about.

Thor opened his mouth and Loki spoke softly.

“I didn’t have a mother. My Father raised me on his own in the palace”

And it was then that Thor realized Loki sought his strength.

He pressed Loki’s hand in return and let him dig his nails in when he wanted.

“My Father was king” Loki went on, looking at his and Thor’s hands, smiling at a memory “he sacrificed everything for me. He would have given up his kingship had he not been a king first. I’ve never met a man like him. he was…”

Loki laughed softly “He promised me on my sixth year that he would take me to Asgard. I wanted to see their golden prince, the prince everyone talked about”

Pepper smiled.

“We were…” Loki shook his head, everyone’s attention caught “Fate didn’t seem to like our plans. He spent the next eight years with me, laughing, playing, fulifilling the role of mother and father for me. He had… he was married, I was born of an affair and his…mate didn’t wish to keep me there. They ended up separating and he took one of my two half brothers with him”

Loki squeezed Thor’s hand and took a breath.

“When I was fourteen, living blissfully unaware of anything other than my easy life, my Father…” Loki pulled his lips inwards and tears came over his eyes so he lowered them “he was killed…”

Tony closed his eyes in pain and Pepper placed a hand over her mouth.

“I had no one” Loki said, sniffing “My brother, he kept me. He didn’t want to but he did. We lost the throne, we lost our home and were convicts even before we had the chance to bury our father. There were a few of their followers that took us in, but …”

“But…?”

“The war came” Thor spoke, startling everyone.

“Aye” Loki said very softly “And that was how Thor and I met”

“Really?” Pepper asked, leaning over 

“Yes” Loki nodded “but I was his … spoil”

Natasha leveled a death glare at Thor, which he pretended not to see.

“Nothing happened” Loki shrugged “but my brother…my late brother”

“Oh God” Pepper breathed

“He wed me to Thor after and…”

“We’ve…” Thor said, putting an arm behind Loki on the chair “had our differences, but…”

Loki looked at him when Thor played with his hair a little.

“We will work through them”

Loki blushed and looked at their hands again, turning brighter when Thor lifted their hands and kissed Loki’s knuckles.

Pepper cooed and Tony rolled his eyes.

Clint made choking sounds and Bruce hit him again.

But Loki didn’t see anything other than Thor and he realized he really didn’t want to.

Softly, so that no one but Thor could understand, Loki mouthed ‘I love you’ to Thor.

Thor winked at him and placed their hands in his lap, not letting go.

“Then what happened?” Tony asked “How was the wedding?”

Loki felt worried, after all, he hadn’t exactly had the most perfect night.

So he startled when Thor laughed.

“Well” Thor said, sitting back “The wedding was a little tense, considering neither of us wanted it. but … that night…”

“Oh yeah…” Tony grinned and nodded lecherously.

He yelped when Natasha threw a spoon at him.

“Actually Loki drugged me” Thor sniggered “and I deserved it”

A moment of silence, then they started to laugh.

And Loki realized that with Thor by his side, he was feeling easier.

***

Though Thor had made it plain that he wished to stay, Loki was feeling tired, both emotionally and physically wrung out.

He excused himself and went to the room, reluctantly parting from Thor because the man wanted to stay with his friends and chat. They had played a few games and talked about the times Loki _wasn’t_  there and though he didn’t want to feel it, he felt left out again.

And as childish as it seemed, he wanted Thor to himself.

Things were – getting better.

They were much better than last night, and Loki hoped that Thor’s heart, that big noble thing, would allow them more time to make everything right again.

He closed the door behind him and walked into the bed room, lifting a hand to open his trunk so that his clothes could come out and set themselves on the bed.

He was alone, so when he heard the first noise, he immediately knew it was trouble.

Loki had barely turned when he heard an angry shriek and cried out when a burst of magic hit his back and sent him sailing forward, hitting the wall and falling to the ground in a crumpled heap.

He groaned and tried to lift himself up but the room was spinning too much.

But he heard the clicking of heels and he saw the boots that came towards him.

“Why doesn’t he leave you!?”

It was a shrill scream, through grit teeth and a palpable anger.

Amora

Loki levered himself off and cried out when she placed a shoe on his back and pushed him down, gasping when he felt her heel dig in.

“What does he see in a whore like you!?” she shrieked “How can he stay with you even after what you did!?”

Loki gasped when he was rocketed back, slamming his back into the opposite wall and falling again with a whimper.

“Why?”

Loki scoffed “Maybe he thinks himself above you”

Amora screeched and came forward, slapping him across the face, raking it with her nails then lifting him up with magic enhanced strength and pinning him on the wall.

Loki cried out when he felt her nails tear through his tunic and circle over his heart.

“I’ll rip it out” she rasped, her face intense and her eyes crazed “you will not live the night”

Loki’s hands pinned themselves on the wall beside him and he could feel the magic drain from him.

He wondered why no one was coming.

Amora looked at him and snarled “And to think, Thor will never know”

Loki curled his lip and looked at her “He’ll find you. Trust me, Amora, he will find you and he will kill you for this”

Amora grabbed his jaw and dug her nails into his cheeks, drawing more blood.

“Let him” she said “I will simply … erase you from his mind. I’ve done it before I’ll do it again. did you truly think I would give up after two spells?”

Loki hissed when she slapped him again, turning his head aside before grabbing his hair and forcing his head back.

“You’re just as weak as your love for Thor” she whispered in her delusion “he should think you a slut that slept with his brother, why did he take you on a honeymoon when he should be divorcing you? What have you done?”

Loki tried to take his head away and gasped when she pulled his head further and further back, almost like she was trying to break it off.

“I have done nothing” he choked, then swallowed “You dug this for yourself when you aligned yourself with … with them”

Amora rolled her eyes “Please… I’ll make him have me easily enough. I am more powerful than you, Loki, or couldn’t you guess”

Loki growled “What …the hell are you talking … talking about?”

Amora laughed softly and let his head go for a moment before she grabbed his jaw again.  
“Who you do think put that spell on you?” she laughed “to make you think you slept with Balder, when all you had really done, was fall unconscious like a bastard?”

Amora kissed Loki’s cheek.

And Loki’s eyes flashed open in a rage he hadn’t ever felt before.

***

“Okay, okay, three words” Tony said, looking at Thor as he acted out his turn “first word…hen, ben, ken, fen, ten…”

“Oh my God, Tony, shut up!” Clint growled 

Tony hissed in irritation “Okay, forget that, sound it out, sound it out, Thor”

Thor, already lost and desperate, looked around before he placated them and did a ‘sounds like’ gesture for the game they were playing.

“Sounds like…” Natasha said “dig…delve?”

Thor slapped his hands and pointed to her.

“Really, Tony?” Steve rolled his eyes

“Delve…” Bruce thought “Shelves?”

Thor shook his head and told them to move on.

“Delve…Melve…Gelve….felve…”

“Shut up, Tony!”

“Twelve?”

Thor pointed to him excitedly.

“Twelve, okay” Tony grinned “Twelve…Twelve Angry Men?”

Thor whooped and moved forward, high fiving Tony and making everyone groan as he took Tony’s place and Pepper added a point for both Thor and Tony.

“How the hell is this happening?” Clint groaned as Tony walked up.

Lifting a card, Tony made a face and held up three fingers.

“Three words” Natasha said

Not another word was spoken because the wall beside the bar suddenly _exploded_ sending debris and dust and cement flying all over the room, startling everyone and shaking the whole building.

It was only when they heard a pained moan that they realized that someone had torn through the walls and Thor paled when he thought it was Loki.

He moved forward, then stopped when Loki walked through the hole the other had made, looking frightening in his rage, his eyes blazed and his hands visibly _glowed_ from the magic that coursed through him.

The power of his magic made his hair lift and float around his head like he was under water and he suddenly seemed ten times more dangerous than _anything_ Thor had ever faced.

Which was why he stood, stunned.

There were gashes on his cheeks, but they were healing even as they Avengers watched him, watched the muscle and skin stitch itself back together, leaving not a scar in their wake.

He was a frightening wraith and it was only when he took a step forward, crunching concrete and dust between his feet, that they moved.

“Loki!” Thor was the first to run over.

Loki turned to him and a moment later, Thor hit a phantom wall, a shield Loki had created to separate them. Thor punched it a few times, checking for weaknesses, but faltered when Loki walked up and raised a hand which was surrounded by magic he could _see_ as it floated over Loki’s hand and forearm like green smoke.

The poor figure rose from the debris and Thor was shocked when he saw it was Amora.

Loki said not a word but he waved his hand and Amora was sent shooting through the air, crashing through the glass windows that led to Stark’s balcony and falling to the ground like a ragdoll.  
Lifeless and limp.

“Loki!” Thor called, unable to reach out to him, he followed the shield, checking for weak points but finding none.

How did Loki get so strong?!

“Loki, what are you doing!?” he yelled, aware that his friends were all ready for battle.

He called Loki again but he was ignored as Loki walked to where Amora was and levitated her again, snarling at her before floating her closer.

“Loki!”

“Jesus, what the hell…?”

“What is he doing!?”

A gun clicked,

A bowstring was pulled taut.

And Loki ignored it all so that he could bring Amora closer with a simple gesture of his hand, twirl his wrist and place his finger on her heart.

She began to scream a moment later.

***

What Loki did, they wouldn’t know.

And Tony was sure he didn’t want to find out.

That woman…Amora … was writhing on his floor, her mouth sewn shut under Loki’s spell, his beautiful face contorted in fear and her hands fisted in her hair as she went through the torture Loki had thrown her in.

She kicked the ground and arched her back in agony and Loki stood watching.

He neither moved nor spoke, but he watched her in fascination, watched her in agony and Tony could almost see a smile on his face.

Thor had started looking for weak points again, and even though Iron Man shot at them, they didn’t do anything other than ripple, before going back to the way it was.

Nothing was going to penetrate it unless Loki allowed it and they were all on shock as he were forced to _watch_ whatever he was doing to that woman.

Looking so _sinister_ , Loki had changed for them forever.

Idly, Tony wondered what would happen if Loki was ever pitted against them.

Yeah …

It wouldn’t end well.

“Loki!” Thor called for the hundredth time, hitting the shield again “Loki, look at me!”

No

There was nothing for Loki, not even movement unless he wanted it and he watched as the woman screamed.

“Alright” Iron Man said, flying above the done Loki had created around himself “This seems like a point it can…”

He broke off when Loki slashed a hand through the air and the shield vanished.

The screaming stopped and the spell and _power_ around Loki fell.

Thor gasped and staggered before running forward.

“Loki!” he shouted, finally making Loki look up in time to grab him in his arms “Are you alright, what happened!?”

Behind him, his friends came over, weapons raised as they stared at the couple.

Loki focused on Thor and blinked a few times before he opened his mouth to speak.

Amora screamed behind a shut mouth, pulling at her hair, raking the ground with her nails and getting everyone’s attention.

Weapons were aimed at her and he looked up with bloody, stitched lips and rage, anger, fear and turmoil in her gaze.

She looked at Thor and screamed again, mindless in her rage as she lunged.

She was held around the waist by Iron Man and screamed again, trying to gouge his eyes out.

“Whoa…” Clint said, blinking when Iron Man simply pinned her arms behind her back “Fiesty”

He yelped when Natasha punched his side.

“Loki…” Thor looked at Loki, then at Amora “What’s…?”

Loki raised a hand and Amora’s mouth was free.

“I’ll kill you!” she screamed, pulling against Iron Man “I swear to the Norns I will kill you both! I will have your heads mounted on my wall and I will skin you alive for your pelts!”

“Ouch” Steve muttered

Insanity coursed through her, mingled with fear and desperation.

What Loki had done…  
“I’ll kill you…” she rasped, struggling “ _I’ll kill you_!!”

“She tricked us” Loki whispered, taking Thor’s attention “I didn’t do anything. She placed a spell on me and Balder.”

Thor’s jaw dropped.

“She made it seem like…” Loki swallowed “I didn’t do anything…”

Thor’s face went from shock to relief to torment.  

“Loki…” he choked

“Let her go” Loki told Iron Man, his voice flat “She’s useless now”

Amora stumbled when Iron Man released her and took a step towards Thor, stopping when she felt and heard weapons aim at her.

Thor was visibly shaking in anger and he would have moved to kill her had Loki not stopped him.

“Don’t” Loki told Thor, looking into his eyes “she’s not worth it”

Thor blinked

“You think you’ve won?” Amora gasped, moving “You think taking my magic will make you win? It won’t. You have enemies waiting for you at home, Laufeyson, you have deaths on your head. You think you won because you got Thor, you didn’t. You’re weak and pathetic and a whore! Tyr was right for what he had done to you and I wish he had done more!”

Thor growled and moved forward “Enough, you filthy bitch!”

He raised a hand and stopped when Loki pulled him back again.

“No, Thor” Loki said “She’s not worth it, I sad. Let her go. She has nothing”  

“I’ll have everything” Amora rasped, glaring at Loki as Thor turned away, leading his consort out “I’ll have everything, Laufeyson and you? All you’ll have is a damaged prince with a heart broken when he thought with his…”

Loki spun back around and punched her across the jaw, shocking everyone and sending her falling to the ground, a pained cry escaping her mouth as well as three bloody teeth.

“Shit” Clint cussed

The Avengers stared; there was nothing else to do.

Loki cracked his knuckles and waved his hand to get rid of the sting as Thor gaped at him.

“Insult me as much as you want, witch” Loki said “But do not make the mistake of insulting Thor”

Amora growled, looking up at him as she sat on her knees.

“And his heart isn’t broken” Loki told her “It’s with safe me”

Had Amora been a literal bitch, she would have bitten him them.

Loki scoffed “Let her go. She’s useless”

Iron Man looked dubious and looked at his friends, all of them in different states of confusion.

“I’ve taken her magic” Loki said as he turned to climb his way to the abode again “she’s a little above a mortal now”

“Excuse me?” Clint raised a brow at the semi insult.

But no one paid attention to him.

Amora was lifted, beaten and bloody, by Steve and Natasha and Pepper stepped back to allow Loki to move, jumping back when Thor ran in before he went to Tony.

“Loki!” Thor called, running after his consort “Loki, wait!”

“Leave me alone, Thor” Loki said tiredly “I don’t have time for this”

Thor stumbled but he didn’t stop.

“Loki, please, just listen to me”

He pulled Loki’s arm and stopped them both in a secure hallway.

Loki looked at him, his mouth thinned.

He knew what Thor was going to say and he had already prepared an argument to shut him up.

But when Thor had nothing, spoke not a word and fell on his knees instead, placing his arms around Loki and nuzzling into his middle, Loki was stunned.

When he felt Thor’s shoulder shudder as he sobbed, Loki felt his heart break again.

And when he heard the first wail Thor gave Loki’s mouth parted on a soft gasp. 

Thor, god of Thunder and Lord of Lightening, was crying…

For Loki

again

Before he knew it, his hands went to cradle Thor’s head and hold it against him, stroking his blonde hair.

Loki opened his mouth to speak the very instant the dizziness took him over.

Thor gasped when he felt Loki fall and he went as pale as death when Loki hit the floor, his eyes shut.

“Loki!” Thor screamed, tears running down his face as he crawled over Loki, shaking him.

“Loki, wake up!”

When Loki didn’t respond, Thor screamed for help.

Outside, the night sky was lit by thunder and lightning and the heaviest rainstorm New York had ever seen.


	27. Unpredictable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WHO SAW THIS COMING!?

Thor sat with his head in his hands, his eyes tormented as he looked at the floor, his eyes red and glassy, tears, thick and endless, falling from his lashes and onto the marble floor.

He wasn’t blinking and the only way his friends could confirm that he was breathing was because of the shuddering breaths he took.

His entire, powerful frame shivered in his agony and his face was flushed with tears.

And only ten minutes had passed.

After that disaster, where Loki had defeated Amora and Steve and Clint had taken her away, the rest of the Avengers had run to where they had suddenly heard Thor screaming for help, imagining the worst because Thor _never_ raised his voice, unless he was in battle.

The heart breaking cry that erupted from his throat led them to the hallway where the rooms were located and Natasha stumbled to a halt when she saw Loki lying unconscious on the floor and Thor hovering over him, begging him to get up.

Pepper had rushed forward and grabbed Thor, hugging him and soothing him while Bruce had asked Tony to help him carry Loki to the infirmary.

Natasha had run along with them, pale as death and she heard Thor pleading with Pepper to let him go.

She didn’t hear Pepper’s answer, though, because they turned a corner and burst into Tony’s infirmary.

Bruce had laid Loki on the bed and started working and though they asked to help him, they had been thrown out.

It was basically Tony’s fault because he was hovering over Loki, getting in Bruce’s way and Natasha had ended up dragging him out.

He now sat beside Thor, watching on the holographic screen as Bruce worked on Loki.

Thor wasn’t watching, though, he was crying.

Pepper sat beside him, rubbing his back and Clint returned with water that the god barely noticed.

And indignant cry came from Tony and Natasha looked up to see the screen had gone black.

“What gives?” Tony asked his AI

 _Sorry, Sir, Doctor Banner requested privacy for the next part_.

Tony made a face and it was only then that Natasha realized he was worried, too, and that watching had made him feel better.

Now, he sighed loudly and ran his hand over his hair, messing it up before clasping both hands and resting them under his chin.

Natasha rolled her eyes and walked over, coming to sit beside him.

She stared ahead for a while before extending an arm behind Tony.

“Don’t try anything funny” she warned when Tony began to lean, then put a comforting arm around his shoulders when he tipped to the side.

He behaved, for once, and that showed how anxious he really was.

But it was nothing compared to Thor, who looked grey and hopeless as he sat, weeping without a single sound and breathing brokenly.

Another five minutes passed in silence and Clint was still holding the water, Thor, not having drunk even at Pepper’s urging.

His lips were getting paler by the moment and he looked right about to die.

“Thor” Pepper said urgently, placing a hand under his jaw and turning his head to her “Sweetie, look at me”

Thor blinked at her uncomprehendingly.

“He’s going to be fine” she said, brushing his hair back “Just…calm down”

Thor didn’t reply.

He just blinked a few times before turning away and placing his heads in his hands, they hadn’t moved from their place and he fisted them in his hair, lost in his agony.

Another minute passed before something happened and this time, the doors hissed open.

Thor looked up, his face _desperate_ , as he looked at Bruce.

Bruce raised a placating hand “He’s fine. He just woke up”

Thor shot to his feet, stumbling and making Clint run over to help.

“Loki…” Thor swallowed to wet his dry throat “My Loki … He’s…”

“Fine” Bruce repeated, coming over and placing both his hands on Thor’s shoulder “much better than you.”

He shook Thor a little.

“Go” Bruce smirked “he’s calling you”

Thor gasped and ran forward, almost running _over_ Bruce in his haste and he staggered at the door, falling against the doorjamb and raising his tormented eyes to Loki.

Loki looked at him from where he was lying in bed and his face depicted shock.

“Thor!” he gasped “What happened to you!?”

“Loki!” Thor sobbed running over and all but falling on his knees beside the bed.

He prompted Loki to get up and help Thor over, holding him to his chest, cradling his large head as Thor wept into his shoulder.

“Hush, Thor” Loki said, uncaring that Thor was squeezing him, and kissed his shoulder “Enough, darling, I’m fine”

Thor took a shuddering breath, holding him even closer as he sat on the side of the bed, half lying on

Loki and he consoled himself, told himself that Loki was indeed there with him.

“Thor, I’m fine” Loki whispered “I just drained myself.”

Thor wailed, his booming voice muffled against Loki’s clothes.

“Please, stop, Thor” Loki said, rubbing Thor’s back “You know I can’t stand seeing you cry”

“I’m sorry” Thor’s raspy voice was smothered “I’m so sorry, Loki, please forgive me, please”

Loki blinked and raised his eyes when he saw Tony hovering at the door.

He licked his lips and shook his head, begging for privacy.

Tony raised a hand and nodded to him, stepping back.

A few minutes later, the door hissed closed.

Loki kissed Thor’s hair.

“Forget it, Thor” Loki said, resting his cheek against his blonde hair “Just forget it. She’s paid for it and I cannot hold anger against you”

Thor shook his head, nuzzling deeper into Loki.

“Please” Thor pleaded “Please forgive me, I’m so sorry. I’m a despicable husband but please Loki, please”

“Thor” Loki said firmly “enough. There is nothing to forgive. I don’t hold it against you and I …”

“You should” Thor whispered “You should hold it all against me, you should hate me”

Thor’s voice broke.

“You should punish me, Loki” Thor said softly “Why are you not?”

Loki kissed his hair again.

“Because I love you, you bloody idiot” he said “Now stop crying, stupid”

He heard a sob and laugh combined and held Thor tighter, realizing only now how close he had come to losing him.

“I love you, stupid”

Thor sobbed

Loki kissed his hair “I love you”

***

However they managed it, it was miraculous.

Both men were lying in the same single bed, Thor resting his head on Loki’s chest as he was curled into his side and Loki was playing with Thor’s hair, mesmerized by it.

They weren’t talking – just lay together.

Thor hummed, his thumb rubbing circles in Loki’s clothes and his eyes slowly becoming less and less swollen, red fading back.

Loki was content, almost purring as he lay in bed, lazily flicking the ends of Thor’s hair.

Thor took a deep breath and sighed and Loki looked at his head.

“Stop”

Thor frowned “What?”

“Thinking” Loki said “It doesn’t suit you”

Thor smiled softly and raised his head, looking at Loki.

“Are you calling me unable to think?”

“No” Loki said “I’m calling you stupid, as I usually do”

“Usually?”

“In my mind” Loki smirked.

Thor laughed and rested his head down again, watching the white walls before him and sighed.

“Loki”

“Yes?”

“I wouldn’t have believed it if you hadn’t said it” Thor told him “if anyone else had told me, I wouldn’t even have asked you nor would I have hesitated in calling it a lie. I believed it because _you_ said it. I …”

Loki looked at the ceiling.

“I’m sorry” Thor whispered.

Loki licked his lips and stroked Thor’s hair.

“I know” Loki said “I know all that you say is true. I know why you were so angry and I know why you wanted to hurt me and wanted to frighten me.”

Thor’s face became tormented in guilt.

“I know because…” Loki sighed “I felt the same”

Thor frowned.

“Amora came here to tell me that she was going to take you away from me” Loki said “that she would cast a spell on you if she had to. And in that moment, that brief moment before she confessed to putting a spell on us, I imagined it; I imagined you with someone else, with _her_ and I…”

Thor felt Loki pull his hair a little.

“I wanted to _kill_ ” Loki said “the very thought of you with someone else made me want to hurt her and hurt _you_. I wanted to shake you, hit you and tell you that you belonged with me, no one else.”

Thor didn’t speak.

“No one has the right to touch you but me” Loki announced “You are mine, your life is mine. Everything you are, is mine and the idea that someone else…that she…I couldn’t stand it. And had our unfortunate position been reversed… I would have done the same to you. I would have _hurt_ you if that was what it took for me to keep you.”

Thor felt Loki run a loving hand down his arm and shoulder.

“So I understand” he said “I understand why…and I understand everything that went through you when I broke your heart over an illusion.”

Thor swallowed loudly.

“So forgive _me_ for doing that to you” Loki whispered.

Slowly, keeping his balance, Thor raised his head again and looked at Loki.

He looked at Loki’s mouth and craned his neck to kiss it, closing his eyes at the silky feel and he didn’t realize how much he’d missed it.

He rubbed his lips against Loki’s mouth a moment before he pulled back.

“How can I forgive such a breathtaking declaration?”

Loki blinked and flushed.

“How can I forgive you when you became such a _wildcat_?” Thor laughed and kissed him again, smiling when Loki groaned.

Thor pulled back again “I believe the term is badass”

Thor yelped a moment later when Loki shoved him off the bed and glared down at him.

“An ass?” Loki glared “did you just call me an ass?”

“No!” Thor stood, horrified “It’s a term! It means extremely grand, breathtaking, splendid, impressive, marvelous! It doesn’t refer to the animal, I swear”

Loki gave him a suspicious glare.

Thor placed a hand over his heard and raised a hand in oath.

“I swear” 

And that sight, more than anything else, made Loki thaw.

He grimaced and shook his head, exhaling.

“I gave you a declaration of my love and you called me a bad ass.”

Thor winced at the complaint and moved forward, placing his hands on the bed and hanging his head.

“Loki” he said “I am the ass. Punish me as you will”

Loki looked at him and hummed in consideration.

“I wish to remain in our taken chambers tomorrow”

“As you wish”

“And I want Bubble Bath”

“Aye” Thor said humbly 

“And shoes”

Thor frowned and looked at him “Shoes?”

Loki raised a brow and Thor lowered his head again.

“As you wish”

“Good” Loki said, lying back “And Thor?”

“Yes?” Thor looked at him.

“Call me ‘Beloved’ again”

Slowly, Thor smiled and came to lean over Loki.

“As is your desire, Beloved”

Loki hummed and closed his eyes, hearing the word he never thought he would hear again.

He lifted his hands and placed them around Thor’s shoulders, pulling him down into a kiss.

He groaned immediately, slackening his jaw and lowering his hand to the front of Thor’s tunic, pulling him closer and running his tongue inside Thor’s mouth, tasting him, probing.

He gasped when Thor moved his mouth from his lips to his jaw, groaned and tipped his head back when that mouth started to nibble and bite down his neck.

“Thor…”

Thor growled, slipped his hands under Loki’s shoulders and back and lifted him up against his chest.

“Loki… I need…”

“Not here” Loki gasped, holding onto him “In our chambers…”

Thor nodded, lifted Loki fully into his arms and carried him to the door, pulling back to let Loki hide his face in Thor’s neck.

His friends were there, waiting, and they turned when Thor came out with Loki in his arms.

They were worried but Thor smiled.

“He wished to sleep, but he didn’t want to walk” Thor explained “Excuse us. Goodnight”

Tony blinked and looked at the others, who shrugged.

Thor ignored them all as he carried Loki to his room, aware of the mouth that kept rubbing against his skin.

***

Loki huffed as he was thrown on the bed and gasped when all the air was pressed out of his lungs when Thor fell on him, instantly taking his mouth beneath his own.

He groaned, pulling his arms around Thor’s neck and pressing himself up against him, moaning into his mouth and gasping when Thor ground against his groin.

“Thor…”

“Right here, my darling” Thor said, nibbling down his neck “I’m right here”

Loki’s hands fisted in the back of Thor’s clothes and he pulled in his urgency, gasping loudly as Thor’s mouth bit down on the crook of his neck and shoulder, pulling the flesh between his teeth and running his tongue over it.

“Please…”

Loki wanted this, he was _desperate_ for it.

“Thor, hurry up, I need…”

Loki raised a hand over them, waved it and Thor gasped when he felt his clothes vanish, lifted his head to look down and saw that _both_ of them were equally naked.

“I have _got_ to learn how to do that” he said.

“Later” Loki panted, pulled Thor down and kissed his mouth, realizing he was far _too_ hungry for this.

“Hurry…” he panted, lifting his hips and grinding them against Thor’s erection “Please, hurry”

Thor groaned into his mouth and closed his eyes, feeling the burst of magic beside him a moment before a vial dropped on the bed.

Loki didn’t let him go, so without letting his mouth go, Thor uncapped the bottle and slipped his fingers in, shuddering as he recalled how good Loki would feel when he was inside.

He came back, shifted so that he could part Loki’s knees.

Loki gasped, throwing his head back as he hung on to Thor, his mouth open and his eyes shut as he spread his legs, felt Thor’s long fingers enter him.

“Norns…” Loki gasped, losing his grip on Thor and falling on the bed “I … cant…Thor, this…”

“Hush” Thor leaned over and kissed him, moving his fingers inside “Just let me please you…”

Loki whimpered, whined loudly when Thor pulled his fingers out, then gasped when he pushed them in again, arching his back as Thor touched a spot inside that made _searing_ heat and pleasure rise in him.

“Thor!” he thrashed his head to the left and right, fisting his hands in the sheets, then reached over and pulled Thor in for a kiss, shutting his eyes in pleasure.

Thor growled into his mouth and slowly spread his fingers wider.

“No!” Loki gasped, tipping his head back “No…just…take me, please…Thor, I can’t…”

He shut up, whimpering when Thor kissed him and pushed him flat on the bed, moving his fingers inside to give him more and more pleasure.

Loki pulled his hair and he arched his entire body as Thor pushed his fingers even deeper.

And that, coupled with his desperation, ended up in the shortest amount of time, a record for Thor, really, that Loki took to come.

***

“That was embarrassing” Loki announced when he’d caught his breath.

“It was endearing” Thor kissed his nose and mouth, smiling when Loki groaned and turned away.

“I wasn’t!” Loki said, curling to his side “You made me…”

“I know” Thor sniggered “ _I_ did. I made that happen to you, Loki, you cannot imagine how happy it makes me”

“Go away” Loki muttered when Thor began to kiss his shoulder.

Thor laughed “You don’t mean that”

“I do” Loki announced “now let me sleep”

Thor hummed, his mouth on Loki’s shoulder.

“What makes you think I am finished with you?”

Loki, who had closed his eyes, opened them and looked at Thor over his shoulder, blinking.

“What?”

“On your front” Thor grinned “and I will give you something you cannot forget”

Loki rolled his eyes “Please…you cannot.”

Thor’s eyes gleamed “Is that a challenge?”

Loki thought about it “Yes”

Thor laughed and slapped the bed “Excellent! What are the stakes?”

“How about…” Loki sucked on his lips “you take me home if I win”

Thor blinked, frowning “What?”

“Home, Thor” Loki said “but only if I am not left breathless and speechless”

Thor, who was – anxious, relaxed “And if you are?”

“Then we do whatever you want” Loki said, setting his head on the pillow.

Thor beamed, the sobered, running a hand over Loki’s head.

“Do you hate it here?”

“I…” Loki swallowed “Your friend stares at me. It makes me uncomfortable”

Immediately, Thor scowled “Who?”

“Barton” Loki said, hiding his face “he just…stares. I don’t like it”

“I will have a word with him”

“No!” Loki said, levering himself on his elbows “Don’t say anything … just agree to the wager. That is enough”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes”

Thor beamed and leaned forward, taking a kiss from Loki.

“Then prepare to lose, Beloved” Thor said “lose more than the wager, I mean”

Loki rolled his eyes again and kissed Thor’s nose.

“Do your worst”

“I intent to do my best, actually” Thor kissed him again “now turn over”

Loki hummed but obeyed and waited to win.

***

He lowered his head to Loki’s heels and ran his the tip of his tongue over his round heel, over the curved calves, his knees, the back of his thighs and his rounded cheek. He returned, kissing the tender, pale ankle and laughing when Loki gasped.

“Thor…”

“Breathless already?” Thor laughed “I think I am going to win this faster than I thought, Beloved”

Loki lay back down and pulled his lips inwards to keep his sounds at bay, curling his fingers in the mattress under him as Thor’s whiskers and beard rasped against his skin.

Thor rubbed his stubble on the back of Loki’s thigh before planting wet kisses there, making the other moan and tense.

Loki bit his lips to keep himself from making noise and squeezed his eyes shut as Thor began to take him apart.

He was becoming undone.

He felt Thor’s tongue move from his thighs to his buttocks, laving him slowly, letting it linger over his cleft before pulling back and treating the other cheek the same. He stayed tortuously away from his entrance and it made him shudder in anticipation and panting.

Thor bit his rear

“Thor!” Loki gasped when Thor’s tongue lapped at him again, so close and yet not enough “that was unfair!”  

Thor chuckled and all of a sudden, he pushed his tongue into the place Loki needed it the most.

Loki cried out at the searing pleasure that went through him, rocking him into so much ecstasy that he was close to pleading.

With every stroke of his tongue, Thor took more from him, added another crack into his control, pulling another string to leave Loki exposed.

Loki panted into his fist, gasping and moaning loud enough to make Thor laugh.

Loki’s eyes rolled backwards when Thor touched his arousal, playing with him while he licked him again and again, making him slick and making him whimper.

Thor chuckled and gave Loki a flat lick from his entrance to the small of his back, making him shudder and gasp in the pleasure that coursed through him.  

Loki’s back shone with perspiration and Thor wanted to taste it. He began from his tailbone, going upwards, feeling each and every knob of his spine under his tongue, feeling his shoulder blades move as he kept himself in stubborn control and felt the shuddering of pleasure that went through him.

He bit Loki’s nape and smiled when Loki gasped and bit his hand again.

He rested his chin against Loki’s shoulder and looked down at him, moving his hand between Loki’s legs and making him shudder and groan, buck his hips against his hand and the kneading he had yet to stop.

“Are you really so stubborn?” Thor asked softly

Loki panted a few times before he answered.

“Yes”

“I see”

Thor’s lip curled into a little smile and he moved his hand.

His other hand fisted in Loki’s hair and he forced his head to turn so that he could kiss him.

Loki’s tongue raked his own, ran over his tongue and over the roof of his mouth, making him groan.

They kissed for a long moment, just gasping into each other until Loki turned over and pulled Thor closer. He tipped his head back and allowed him to lick up his neck.

“Thor” Loki moaned “please…have…have me, please”

Thor obeyed, moving to take out a vial of oil.

Thor slicked two fingers before he reached down between their bodies, letting it drip on Loki’s thighs before he slid them into his passage again.

Loki hissed a little and Thor kissed him into silence, forcing him to lie flat against the bed as he started to work him open once more.

Loki’s mouth worked on the vulnerable place below Thor’s ear, making his groans grow louder and louder. As Thor moved his fingers, Loki lifted a leg and set it on Thor’s shoulder to make it easier for them both. He raked Thor’s scalp with his nails, making him groan loudly.

Thor curved his fingers.

Loki cried out loudly and his nails raked Thor’s skin.

Encouraged, Thor raked him with his nail before he pulled out, then pushed back in.

Loki’s hand twisted in his hair, making his scalp hurt but Thor was beyond caring. Loki’s pupils were blown wide, only the slightest rim of green around them. 

“Thor, I …” Loki breathed.

“You still have breath in you” Thor kissed his neck “I have a lot to do”

Loki moaned and moved against his fingers.

“Yes”

Thor hummed and kissed him again, pushing his fingers in him again, his finger tips touching the spot that would make Loki become undone.

It was a feather light touch and Loki arched, throwing his head back and exposing his neck to Thor.

“Thor!”

Thor’s tongue moved over his jaw before delving into his mouth and he thrust his fingers inside again, ramming into that spot once more.

Loki moaned loudly, bucking his hips up, following Thor’s hands as he panted for air, gasping and moaning.

The sight drove Thor insane and he knew he couldn’t wait anymore.

He cannot ignore the knowledge of how good Loki would feel, clenching around his need, how he would take him in when he had him.

“Now” Thor rasped, kissing him again “I will pound you into the mattress”

Loki have a loud long, groan and Thor smiled at the fact that he’s just come.

He spread Loki’s legs, wide and open and Loki lifted his heels to hook around his waist. Thor took him in one, harsh, quick thrust that rocked Loki to the core and made him throw his head back, mouth parted on a soundless scream he choked on. His eyes were wide as he gasped and panted. 

Thor gave him no reprieve and pulled back to drive in again, yanking himself out before going in all over. 

Loki released forced gasps, forced moans as Thor rammed into him again and again, his hands slipping on Thor’s muscular back, his nails raking bright red lines into his skin. He felt Thor’s muscles tense and relax under his hands and it drives him on, arouses him further because it felt so _good_.

Thor looked down at him, at the taut muscles of his neck, his chest, his lips that are parted for air and his throat that works, gulping for air.

Grabbing Thor’s arms for support as he was rocked on the bed, each thrust literally knocking him closer and closer to the edge till he feared he might fall off.

He gasped and choked when he as literally thrown off, landing on the back of his shoulders. His moans became louder and louder as Thor pounded into him from that awful angle and sending searing pleasure into him, making him scream and arch as much as he could.

It should have hurt him, but all Loki felt was _pleasure_ inside him, deep where he needed it.

And Thor didn’t stop for a moment, drilling into him, winning over him till Loki came for a second time and went limp.

Thor didn’t stop, he followed Loki down, placing his hands on either side of his head as he did and ramming into him repeatedly. He bore down on Loki as though he was in a fight, moving within even though there was nothing left in Loki, even though he was nothing more than a limp body, moaning weakly and panting as Thor went on and on…

His jaw was set and he groaned with each effort, each thrust.

He hadn’t come once and made Loki release thrice and now Loki felt sore, drained and unable to move as Thor kept on pumping into him, branding his victory into Loki in the most intimate way possible.

Loki moaned loudly in protest as Thor moved and the other laughed.

“You’ll climax again”

He lifted Loki, still buried inside, and took them to the bed, resting an arm under Loki’s back, he forced him to lie down and moved from that angle, going in even deeper and ramming even harder.

Oversensitive, Loki whimpered in protest but Thor pulled out and pushed in again.

“Relax”

Thor kissed his slack mouth again.

He took him again and again, stimulating him, rocking him and burning him with his passion, making him climax a third time with a tortured scream.

“Thor!” Loki screamed his name and went lip, unable to do anything other than breathe and even that was strangely voluntary.

In Thor’s arms, Loki was spent and exhausted and panting so loudly he missed Thor’s roar of release and whimpered when the other fell on him, panting for air, his slick skin glistening in the dim light of the room, their gasps the only sound around them.

Loki was shivering, his eyes drooping with a combination of _everything_ that had happened that day, but he managed to croak.

“That was…” he panted “fantastic!”

Thor laughed and pulled away, falling to his side, proud at the mess they had made.

“I told you I would give you my best”

Loki hummed and Thor pulled him close, not even letting him bathe and Loki didn’t mind because he was in such bone deep satisfaction that he couldn’t move even if he wanted to.

“I told you I would win”

Loki hummed and traced Thor’s jaw “Maybe I let you win”

Thor blinked “How can you _let_ me win?”

Loki hummed again and closed his eyes.

“Scratch my back, Thor” Loki ordered.

“Loki?”

“Good night, Thor” Loki said, smiling and nuzzling into Thor.

“Loki” Thor said, scratching his back “how can you let me win?”

Loki didn’t reply other than a hum and even though Thor had left him gasping and breathless, he realized he hadn’t really won.

Had he?

Groaning and rolling his eyes, Thor fell back on the bed with a sigh.

There were some things that needed no explaining.

“Good night, Beloved”

Thor pulled Loki close and shut his eyes, smiling in contentment and felt his heart become whole again.

This was what dreams were made of, Thor realized, what the rest of his life would be like.

He had always dreamed of the perfect partner; it didn’t have to be Jane.

And even as the thought saddened him, another made his heart soar.

It was _always_ going to be Loki.

Thor was made for Loki.

And Loki was made for Thor.

They were perfect.

And nothing was going to tear them apart.

Nothing.

“Good night, Beloved”

Loki simply nuzzled closer, pulling Thor to himself like a lifeline and smiling.

“Good night, my heart”

***

The next morning, Thor was rudely awoken.

He had been holding Loki to his side, his arms around his waist when he was suddenly shoved off, gasping and waking to see Loki run to the toilet.

Thor followed an instant later and heard Loki fall on his knees and throw up.

Thor’s face became agonized as he walked in and saw Loki heaving, panting and gasping over the toilet, his shoulders shaking and his entire form shuddering as he retched.

He groaned, heaving again and Thor pulled a towel from the rack and began to wet it.

Loki rested his forehead against his forearm as he placed it flat against the rim of the toilet and moaned, closing his eyes in exhaustion.

Thor came up behind him and cleaned his mouth, then lifted him into his arms, throwing the towel aside before he carried him back and set him on the bed.

He sat on the edge and started brushing Loki’s hair off his forehead.

“Beloved, what is happening to you?” he whispered, his heart hurting.

Loki moaned and closed his eyes, turning his head aside so Thor could place a hand over his pulse point.

“Loki” Thor gasped “You’re burning up”

Loki _looked_ terrible.

His face was pale and his breathing was stuttered, his eyes were closed as he tried not to throw up again.

Thor sighed, frowning in his anxiety and stood.

“I’ll be right back”

“No” Loki moaned, turning his head back to Thor “Don’t leave, please”

“But I wish to get the doctor, he can…”

“Please” Loki whispered.

 _I can ring the doctor_ Jarvis said _if you so wish_.

“Thank you, brother Jarvis” Thor sighed and came back, climbing on the bed and pulling Loki into his arms, letting him rest his head on Thor’s shoulder and hum.

“Thor?”

“Yes, my darling?”

“We are naked”

Thor smiled softly, let Loki go and ignored the whine Loki gave before pulling on his trousers.

He brought Loki his and grimaced when Loki used magic to clothe himself.

Rolling his eyes, he came back to hold Loki again, rubbing his back as they waited.

Loki rubbed his cheek against Thor’s bare shoulder, closing his eyes as another spasm of nausea hit him and moaning.

“Thor” he whined “I feel sick.”

“I know, Beloved” Thor said, kissing his head “I know, just wait a moment and Banner will be here”

Loki groaned and rubbed his face against Thor and Thor felt his heart break when Loki gave a single, frustrated, broken sob.

“Hush” Thor placed a hand behind Loki’s head and rubbed his back “It will all be well, I promise”

Loki whined again and pulled Thor closer.

They sat that way for a few more moments before there was a knock at the door and Bruce stuck his head in.

There was relief on Thor’s face but he didn’t let Loki go as Bruce walked in.

“Hey” he said, coming over and sitting on the edge of the bed “Hey, Loki, what happened?”

Loki groaned and hid against Thor, shaking his head.

“He cannot stop vomiting” Thor looked at Banner with agonized eyes “Please, Banner, you must…”

Bruce held up a hand and turned to Loki again “Loki? Can you look at me, a moment?”

Thor felt Loki tense and rubbed his beck, kissing his shoulder as he spoke.

“Worry not, I will be with you all along”

Loki nodded softly before pulling away, though he held onto Thor’s hand, turning a little and looking at Bruce.

Bruce smiled and held out a hand “Come on, I’ll see what’s wrong with you and I’ll fix it”

Loki blinked slowly and turned to Thor.

The man simply smiled and nodded towards Bruce.

“He has healed me many times. Trust him, Beloved”

Loki took a deep breath and climbed off the bed – and Thor – and stood, waiting for Bruce to lead the way.

He liked the man, but he was wary of him.

Stark had mentioned anger problems and Loki didn’t want to cause something unpleasant.

“Alright” Bruce smiled “come along, you two”

Loki lowered his gaze, hands clasped before him in a nervous gesture and Thor pulled on his tunic.

They followed Bruce out, neither trying to show how nervous they were nor releasing the other’s hand.

***

And Thor was made to wait.

Again.

It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Banner, the truth was far from it.

The man had stitched Thor up a lot of times, so there was no question about his loyalty or the fact that he wouldn’t try.

It was this feeling at the pit of his stomach that told him that he wasn’t going to like learning the truth.

That there was something wrong with Loki.

It was ripping him from the inside as he sat, arms crossed over his chest, ankle hooked over a knee. His back was ramrod straight and his eyes fixed on the door, wondering what was happening inside.

Beside him, his friends sat.

Natasha was having her coffee while Pepper stirred tea. Clint was leaning against a wall and Steve sat with Thor, occasionally giving his shoulder a squeeze when Thor began to bounce his leg nervously.  
Tony was trying to get Jarvis to remove the firewall that prevented him from seeing what was going on and growling as he kept failing.

“God!” he snarled now, finally giving up “How can I not command something _I_ made?”

“Genius” Clint droned.

Tony blinked and beamed at him “Thanks man. You know, I’m never appreciated for…”

“Jarvis’ genius” Clint clarified.

Pepper chuckled and Natasha smirked at Tony’s dismayed expression.

And Tony rolled his eyes, looking at the door.

He got bored a few moments later and started looking around the room, stopping when his eyes rested on Thor.

The man was biting his lips and trying not to look like he wanted to cry.

Tony sighed and walked over.

“Hey, Point Break” he came, kicking Steve’s shin to make him move aside, ignored the glare he got and plopped down beside Thor “Look here”

Thor turned and looked at Tony cautiously.

“You’re worried about nothing” Tony told him “Loki’s fine. He’s going to _be_ fine. Banner is an amazing doctor, he’ll figure out why he’s so sick. And when he does, it will probably be something small like … I dunno, an aversion to me”

Thor felt his lips twitch and looked at the floor.

“It’s nothing serious” Tony shoved Thor “So calm down and have breakfast. I have some poptarts that are _dying_ to be devoured. So come on, this might take a while”

Thor hummed and pressed his lips together.

“Also, I noticed you didn’t say anything to negate the fact that I said Loki doesn’t like me”

Thor smiled and looked at him “You never said that”

“I implied it” Tony said “Now tell me, he doesn’t like me, does he?”

“Perhaps if you were a little less animated” Thor began

“Or arrogant”

“Or full of himself”

“Or arrogant” Natasha repeated.

“You didn’t hit on him, did you?” Clint asked.

“Or give him beer?” Steve prompted.

“Or _had_ beer before talking to him?”

Thor’s lips had curved into a smile as Tony glared at his friends.

“I should make you all buy your own food” he grumbled.

Pepper snorted and turned a bright red later “Sorry”

“Never mind” Tony smiled and winked at her “I’ve heard worse”

“By whom?”

“Are you really discussing snorts?” Natasha made a face

“Burps, too” Clint said

“And farts” Tony added “Like the other day, when Pepper had beans…”

“Tony!” Pepper shouted.

“What?” Tony stared “It was adorable!”

“Shut up” she warned.

“Like a bubble popped”

He ducked when a magazine became airborne, the laughter of his friends around him.

“Come on, Pep” he said, straightening “It’s not like people don’t do it”

“Go away” Pepper said, stirring her tea more vigorously.

“But sweetheart…” Tony walked over. 

“No” Pepper said, dramatically turning her head away.

“I’ll buy you a diamond ring”

Pepper glared at him “And I’ll shove it up your…”

The doors to the infirmary hissed open.

***

Loki cried out softly, turning his head away when Bruce took his blood sample.

The sting of the needle was sharp and Loki bit his lip, squeezed his eyes shut.

“Forgive me” Bruce muttered, taking his blood and pulling the needle out.

Loki hissed again when it happened, then rubbed his arm. He thanked Bruce for the ball of cotton he placed on the small wound.

Bruce took the blood to the side and dropped a few drops on a plate and placed it under the microscope.

“Now can you get into that shirt behind the door?”

Loki blinked and looked, immediately turning a bright shade of red “I…”

“I won’t hurt you” Bruce said, turning back to him “I swear. You can trust me, Loki”

Loki dropped his gaze to the floor.

“It’s not that, I …”

He pulled his lips inwards.

No one but Thor had seen him undressed and he didn’t want…

He couldn’t…

“I can’t examine you correctly without it” Bruce said softly.

Loki swallowed again, feeling frustrated tears fill his eyes.

“I …”

Bruce hummed and rubbed his chin “How about…”

Loki looked at him when he broke off.

“Just lift your shirt, then” Bruce said, patting to the bed “just a little”

Loki didn’t like that either, but it was better than what Bruce had wanted earlier, so he nodded and came to lie on the bed, slowly lifting the hem of his shirt.

Bruce dragged a strange looking machine over and Loki blinked at it.

“Comfortable?”

Loki nodded and averted his head.

He gasped when he felt Bruce push his tunic up higher and pull his trousers lower.

“Wait!” Loki cringed, turning to him.

“Relax” Bruce said, placing a hand on Loki’s shoulder “That’s it. I won’t do anything else”

Loki nodded and closed his eyes, then watched as Bruce pulled out a tube.

“I’m going to rub this here, alright?” he asked “It’s going to be a little chilly”

“It’s alright” Loki whispered.

A moment later he yelped when a cool liquid was squeezed over under his navel.

“What’s this?”

“A gel” Bruce said, lifting another device and running it over the gel, spreading it “See this screen? It helps me see”

“See what?”

“What’s inside you” Bruce said, looking at the screen.

Loki lay breathing slowly, looking at the screen as Bruce began to work on him.

Silence fell and Loki wondered about the things Midgardians used for healing.

“Oh…”

Immediately Loki tensed, his heart beating in his throat “What…what’s wrong?”

“Um…” Bruce frowned “nothing. You’re fine, it’s just…”

“Just what?” Loki asked, looking at him.

“Let me confirm, first” Bruce rolled the strange looking device on Loki’s middle again, his eyes glued to the screen.

He moved to the left and right.

“You have a womb and ovaries, just like the females here” Bruce said “But the rest of it is…”

“You find me disturbing” Loki wanted to run

“Not at all” Bruce smiled down at him “I find it similar to Jotun anatomy.”

At Loki’s confused glance, Bruce explained “Thor helped me study Jotun anatomy”

“How?” Loki asked

Bruce looked at him, then away, suddenly realizing he’d said the wrong thing.

And it dawned on Loki then.

“The Jotun he killed”

Bruce didn’t confirm it.

He didn’t deny it, either.

So Loki lay back down and watched the ceiling again.

He waited, wondering about Thor and what kind of life he’d lived before Loki met him.

It would have been very dark.

Thor kept saying Loki changed him, and Loki hoped that was true because…

“Well” Bruce sighed, looking at him “You can use this to clean up”

He handed Loki a few wet napkins and walked to the other side of the room to give him privacy.

Loki cleaned himself and jumped off the bed, coming over, very hesitant.

“Will you tell me what is causing this or am I to be left in suspense?”

He was worried and his voice shook.

Bruce turned to him and gestured for him to take a seat before he sighed.

“The cheese isn’t to blame for this” Bruce said when Loki sat down “You’re…”

When he broke off, Loki leaned forward, his gaze pleading.

It went horrified a moment later when Bruce finally gave him the answer.

***

Thor leapt to is feet the moment Bruce came out, and every one stood slowly.

“What…” Thor swallowed “Banner, what…?”

Banner gestured him close.

Thor walked over and for the first time, the Avengers became worried.

“Doc, what is it?” Tony asked

Bruce ignored him and looked up at Thor’s face.

“Loki’s pregnant”

Thor felt a stunning force run through him and a moment later, he paled.

His heart began to hammer within his chest and he didn’t realize he’d stumbled until Tony came up and steadied him.

“I think you should go to him” Bruce nodded, placing a hand on Thor’s shoulder and giving him a squeeze “Good luck”

“How those words broke Thor, Banner would never know and he gently extracted himself from Tony to walk forward.

He stumbled to an awkward halt at the door, though.

He didn’t know what to say, what to _do_.

Thor recalled Loki’s wish, the _only_ thing Loki had truly asked of him.

 _I don’t want to have a child…_.

And now…

Thor had done _exactly_ what Loki didn’t want him to do and he didn’t know how to speak to him, what to do.

He wanted to curl up and die.

Loki was going to _hate_ him and that thought broke Thor even before he walked inside.

It was terrifying and Thor didn’t know what he would do if Loki…

Norns, Thor was _shivering_.

He felt a hand on his back and saw his friends behind him.

He didn’t know why, but it helped him, looking at the warriors that had fought alongside him.

They had defeated the most frightening of enemies but at this moment, this seemed like the biggest war they would help him with.

If Loki left…

Thor bit down on a gasp, looked to Tony when he nodded, and moved when he was pushed ever so slightly, into the room where Thor was sure he was going to die.

He walked in and felt the door shut behind him.

With his skin pale and his heart hammering within his chest, Thor took a single step forward, to where the figure sat with his back to Thor and his head lowered into his hands.

***

Loki was crying.

Thor could see his shoulders shake as he sat on the bed with his knees pulled up and saw the bow of his back as he wept into his hands, the soft sounds that rose from him, broke Thor’s heart.

He had to swallow twice before he walked over, stopping at the edge of the bed because he was afraid to move forward.

“Loki…” he croaked.

“Go away, Thor” Loki whispered, his voice raspy from all the crying.

Thor’s face was agonized as he watched Loki, trying to come close but faltered at the barrier Loki had placed between them.

“Beloved, I …”

“Leave” Loki said softly “Please, Thor, just give … give me a moment alone”

Thor shook his head, though Loki couldn’t see, and walked over.

Loki cringed from him, turning his head away “Thor, no”

Thor ignored him and came to put his arms around Loki.

“My darling, I …”

Thor’s heart broke when Loki pushed away, standing and walking away from him, pulling his arms around him.

“I’m pregnant” Loki said softly 

Thor swallowed loudly and stood to follow “I know. Banner told me”

“I had that potion, I …” Loki sniffed and wiped at his eyes “I don’t know why, I …”

Thor froze when Loki turned back to him.

“Thor, I can’t have a child, I can’t” he said, almost desperate.

Thor looked _broken_ at that.

“I can’t raise it, I …” Loki wiped his eyes as more tears fell “Thor, I’m just twenty two…!”

His voice broke into a sob and Thor ran over, embracing him.

Loki cried against him, fisting his hands in Thor’s clothes.

His sobs were loud and broken and he panted in agony as he held on to Thor, tried to take strength from him.

“Please…” Loki pleaded “Thor, please help me, I can’t do this…take me back, please”

Thor shushed him and kissed his head, pulling him close, his eyes fixed on the ground.

“I want to go home, I want to see your mother, Thor, she will help” Loki pleaded “She will…I’ll ask her”

Thor frowned as he realized he didn’t understand what Loki was saying.

“Ask what?”

“I …” Loki gasped as he sobbed “I can’t have this baby”

And it occurred to Thor then.

He grabbed Loki’s shoulders and pushed him back a little, looking at his face.

“You…” he said, going paper white “You want to terminate it?”

Loki swallowed loudly and looked at Thor.

He didn’t nod and he didn’t shake his head.

“Thor,” Loki swallowed “Thor, I won’t be able to take the birth if I let…”

“No”

Loki froze, the tears shining on his face and the color draining from it.

He opened his mouth to speak but Thor cut him off.

“Loki, I am sorry for everything I have done and I am sorry that I couldn’t give you what you wanted” he said “I’m sorry I put you into this position, but I will not let you kill our child”

Loki shook his head, grabbed Thor’s hand tightly “Thor, you don’t understand, I can’t birth it. I’ll die”

“You won’t” Thor said kindly, but firmly “You will get through this, alive and well, just like our child. Loki, this is _our_ baby. We created life, my darling, how can you not want it?”

“You’re not the one who will bring it forth” Loki told him “Thor, I’m begging you, please don’t make me…”

“Loki!”

Loki jolted when Thor raised his voice, trying to step back but stopping when Thor didn’t let him go.

“Do _not_ make me ask you again” Thor said firmly “We will go back, like you asked. We will get all and every help you ask. But I will not let you abort our child”

Loki’s mouth firmed and tears formed in his eyes “Then you have sentenced me to death”

He jerked away from Thor, glaring at him.

“You refuse to understand me when I say I cannot give birth at this age” Loki said, tears trembling in his eyes “I am a half breed, Thor. How many half breeds do you know that have given birth to a pureblood’s child and survived? None, Thor. Had you waited, had you _listened_ , we wouldn’t have happened. Thor, _I’m_ pregnant, not you. You will never know the agony I will go through, you will not understand what will happen to me when I give birth! Thor, please…”

Thor looked at him when Loki’s tears rolled down his face.

“I don’t want to die, Thor”

Thor took a single step forward and placed his hands on Loki’s shoulders.

“You underestimate me, then” Thor told him firmly “if you think I will let you die, Loki you are mistaken”

Loki blinked.

“You are _everything_ to me, Loki, everything” he shook Loki a little “nothing has importance over you. My father, my mother, me and anyone else I know will do _everything_ they can to make sure you remain beside me. You will not die. The child will not die. Can you not see anything other than the dark face of this miracle?”

“Thor…”

Thor placed a thumb over Loki’s mouth as he cupped his jaw.

“Loki, you cannot _fathom_ the joy I feel right now” he said “but I am afraid. Afraid of what you are thinking, afraid of the fact that you think that something I did is going to kill you. I’ll sooner kill myself than do anything to hurt you, Beloved. I do not want you to abort this baby, I do not want you to think you will die. I will help you, everyone will help you, you are not alone.”

Loki watched him carefully.

“I will not ….” Thor’s voice broke “I will not pressurize you”

And _oh_ how that scared Thor, relinquishing control of something he wanted so badly.

“You know that I want this baby” Thor said “you know that I will do anything to save you. I leave…”

Loki stilled.

“I leave the decision to you”

Thor was shaking badly.

“I will let you do whatever you want and though it will break me if you…do what you are saying…I will respect it”

Loki watched him carefully.

He startled when Thor pulled his hands off him and stepped back.

“Loki I love you no matter what, you know that and…”

“But if I do as I say I am” Loki said “you will hate me?”

Thor shook his head “No”

“Resent me?”

“Not at all”

Loki nodded, biting his lips “You’re lying”

Thor paled and his mouth fell open when Loki looked away.

“You’re lying to me” Loki whispered, staring at the wall “You will hate me, if not in the beginning, then later in life you will. You will hate what I would have done and you will hate what I caused you to lose”

“No, Loki” Thor stepped forward and Loki stepped back.

“You say you give me the decision, but you really haven’t” Loki raised his eyes to Thor’s “You give me the choice of enduring a terrible birth or living with your resentment should I choose to end it”

“Loki”

“You give me no choice, in reality” Loki told him “You are trying to trap me”

“Loki, please…” Thor pleaded, moving further.

Loki shook his head, stepping back “I told you I didn’t want to get pregnant”

The accusation stopped Thor in his tracks.

“I told you I didn’t…” Loki said “and now, you… and now, I …”

Loki placed a hand over his head as he felt the room spin.

A moment later, Thor was there, lifting him into his arms and his golden heart broke right in two.

***

Loki was given a few pills by Bruce, ones that he had to take after his evening meal to help with the sickness.

He nodded his thanks and lay back against the bed, watching the people _finally_ leave him alone.

The moment news of his pregnancy spread, there had been a flurry of movement and Loki had been bombarded with presents and blessings and Tony Stark’s constant stream of questions.

They had come into their room and pleaded with him to tell them _everything_.

Loki lied.

He said he was happy.

He said both Thor and he were ecstatic and couldn’t wait.

Thor had left the room, then, his head lowered and his eyes glassy.

No one had noticed other than Bruce and Loki ignored the glances the doctor sent his way.

He was already miserable, he didn’t need to add guilt to the mix.

And though he didn’t really like Thor’s human friends, he bore them.

He bore them as they talked and laughed and cheered and he bore them until Bruce herded them all out, telling them Loki needed his sleep.

He hadn’t spoken to Loki other than to wish him good night.

Thor hadn’t returned and Loki curled on his side, trying to close his eyes.

He wanted to sleep, he wanted to dream, he wanted to forget and he wanted to relax.

Today, by all behavioral patterns of the humans, was supposed to be a happy occasion.

His fears were warranted, Loki realized, he knew what would happen to him.

But somehow, his fear wasn’t as strong as it had been an hour ago.

He was still in two minds about his decision but … the other option didn’t sound too bad.

Thor _had_ said there would be help, but Thor knew nothing of Jotun anatomy.

He hadn’t heard the stories Jarnsaxa told everyone, either.

Half-breeds were not meant to have children.

Not at the first attempt, anyway.

But somehow, Loki became less and less inclined to believe it, the moments passed, becoming easier with every breath.

He shifted, pulled the sheets up.

Having Thor’s baby would be…

Frightening

Terrible

Fatal

Lethal

Fearsome.

“Wonderful” Loki sighed.

If he could manage it, he meant.

He rubbed a hand over his belly, looking at it from Thor’s point of view and though nothing made a true argument, one thing stood out the most for Loki.

Thor had already lost so much.

Loki blinked, staring at the wall.

Thor had lost so much in his life, why would Loki add to it?

Clearly this child meant so much to his husband.

And Loki would have to be _evil_ to take it away from him.

His life was going to change forever and Loki knew it.

If he survived the birth, everything would change.

And for someone who lived such a stagnant life, it was the most frightening thing Loki could ever think of.

Perhaps he _had_ been a little too cruel. 

Perhaps it would be alright for Loki to have a blonde, blue eyed girl in his arms.

He smiled without realizing.

Maybe, just maybe…he would change his mind.

It was then that he felt a _presence_ behind him.

Loki gasped and sat up, looking behind him and paling when he saw Amora standing there, on the open door, cries of alarm sounded from outside as Thor’s friends realized she had escaped.

Loki, frozen, lowered his eyes to the item in Amora’s hand and he felt his heart stop when she saw it was a tool with a hooked edge.

Loki realized when she intended to do before she moved forward.

And, with a spell he only cast once before, Loki waved a hand.

The result was familiar and Loki watched, fascinated, as Amora flew across the room with a startled shriek and Loki closed his eyes when he saw where she was headed.

***

Thor arrived, hanging on the doorjamb, his eyes wild as he searched for Loki.

He huffed as something collided with him and looked down to see Loki holding onto him like a lifeline.

“She was going to kill her” Loki muttered, gasping “She was going to kill her”

Thor didn’t understand, but a moment later, a breeze came and hit him and he lifted his gaze eyes widening when he saw the broken window, a hundred stories above New York, and the thin lock of blonde hair that was swinging in the wind, stuck on the broken glass.

Thor’s jaw fell open when he realized where Amora had gone and his arms tightened around Loki protectively.


	28. And the Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ungrateful

Thor held Loki close.

He was shivering against him, green eyes fixed on the floor, his hands clenched in Thor’s night tunic. His breath was stuttering and he unfastened his hands, then tightened them, mumbling.

“I didn’t mean it…” he whispered “I didn’t mean it…”

“Hush” Thor said, kissing his head “It’s alright, Beloved, it’s alright”

They were in Stark’s guest chamber, huddled together in the large bed.

Their belongings were still in the suite and Loki could still hear the alarms going off in the distance.

Amora was dead.

Loki had killed her.

With one spell, more out of reflex than anything else, he had sent her off, thrown her from a hundred stories, smashed to the ground, a bloody, broken heap of bone and flesh and skin.

She hadn’t even screamed.

The mortals had rushed forth, screaming and yelling, and Thor had rushed Loki out of the room.

Stark and the others had come over when he’d called them.

Tony had paled, demanding Jarvis tell him how she had escaped in the first place.

Natasha had run downstairs, followed by Clint and Steve while Bruce had walked over to examine the broken window, looking down.

He had paled when he saw the splat on the side walk that had been Amora and pulled away from the window, feeling sick.

This was going to be hell.

He turned back and saw Thor holding Loki to his chest as Loki kept muttering and decided that he needed more attention at the moment.

He’d walked over, gently prying Loki away from Thor, telling him that it would do no good to the baby if Loki despaired like this.

And Thor’s expression had become pained.

But Loki had nodded and let Bruce guide him to the guest room, letting him lay him on the bed.

Then Bruce had ordered Thor to remain by him, keep him calm.

He hadn’t told Loki that he had killed her, not yet.

Thor suspected Loki already knew, but he still kept his mouth shut.

He had nodded his thanks to Bruce and waited for him to leave before turning and sitting on the bed, trying to get Loki’s shoes off.

But he had been startled when Loki jumped into his arms again, holding him close and begged Thor to stay, begged him to help him calm down, he didn’t want to hurt…

…it.

Thor and nodded and pulled Loki close, shifting so that he rested against the headboard with Loki in his arms.

He’d started to hum and slowly began to take Loki’s shoes off. He pulled them aside and pulled Loki to his chest, recalling what had happened to Loki when he’d killed before.

He didn’t think he could live through it again.

So he hummed and soon, Loki leaned against him, muttering.

Now, Thor was trying his best to get Loki to calm down because his body was still tense.

“It was an accident” Loki said “I didn’t mean it, Thor, I didn’t”

“I know” Thor kissed his head “Just close your eyes”

“I cant” Loki shook his head “I keep seeing…I keep seeing her again and again she was going to…”

“Enough” Thor said softly “just listen to me, then, do you want me to keep singing?”

“Yes” Loki said, placing his head on Thor’s shoulder and forgetting the mild tension between them.

Thor began to hum for Loki then, slowly rubbing his back before he started to scratch it.

In moments like these, he wished he could control magic like Loki did and could make everything right.

But he couldn’t.

He couldn’t do anything, not even for the person he wanted to do everything for.

Loki made a soft sound and Thor nuzzled his hair deepening his singing.

Down below, as Thor’s voice faded past their hall, heard only by Bruce as he stood in the kitchen talking to Steve in his phone, there was havoc.

A woman had jumped from Stark’s building.

Headlines were already being printed, tabloids were already there.

Tony was already in trouble.

And it was Loki’s fault.

***

“You don’t have to do this” Tony said, looking as tired as he sounded “we can handle it”

Thor shook his head “I think we have to. Loki …”

He glanced over his shoulder where Loki stood on the balcony, a little slouched, by their luggage.

“He wants to leave” Thor sighed “I wish to give him what he wants”

Tony sighed and placed a hand on Thor’s shoulder “You know, Thor, things are going to be alright. Even if Loki does what he wants to … they will get better”

Thor’s eyes widened “How did you…?”

Tony smirked and pointed to the roof “I have eyes everywhere”

Thor only blinked but then Tony tapped his shoulder again “You should stay”

“I …” Thor looked at Loki again.

His beloved looked _miserable_ and Thor wanted nothing more than to go up and embrace him.

But after last night, once Loki had calmed down and stopped murmuring, gathered himself enough, he’d moved away from Thor.

And he hadn’t come to him since.

It wasn’t anything too dramatic, it was just that Loki was keeping his distance from Thor, like he was already putting a gap between them. He shied away from Thor’s touch, if Thor placed an arm around him, he pulled away discreetly, if Thor held is hand, he pulled it out.

No one but Thor saw it.

And it hurt him like hell.

Right now, Loki was massaging his arms, clearly desperate to get away from here, to go back.

Thor sighed and looked back at Tony.

“I have to”

Tony’s mouth tightened but he didn’t say anything else, though he did give Loki a glance.

“Well” he slapped Thor’s massive shoulder “Let me see you out then”

Thor nodded his thanks and walked over with Tony by his side, looking at Loki and giving him a smile.

Loki, when he saw them enter onto the balcony, smiled softly to them, then turned to look at New York, clearly lost in his own thoughts.

He knew he had killed her.

The fact that Thor and his friends were not telling him was inconsequential because he _knew_.

He’d seen it on her face the moment he’d waved a hand with that spell.

Amora hadn’t expected it; she was lost in her rage, her desire to hurt and a heartbreak so immense that she was capable of doing nothing but hurt him.

So she was stunned when he reacted.

And that led to her demise.

It led to Loki killing again.

He lowered his head, shaking it.

No matter how much he hated violence, it was forever attached to him.

Violence and death; they were Loki’s curse.

He’d lost his father, his mother, his brothers.

He had been alone, would be alone if it wasn’t for Thor.

Thor was his light, his direction, the path in his life he never had. Thor was everything for him.

But now…

With this latest _complication_ , Loki was on the verge of losing him.

True, he didn’t want to have a baby, not yet at any rate, but terminating it would make him lose Thor.

And as scared as Loki was of this pregnancy, that scared him more.

He didn’t want to lose Thor, he was everything to him.

Loki would sooner rip out his own heart than have Thor leave him.

He sighed, two sides warring within him, two desires clashing.

To lose the baby was to lose Thor, to have the baby would be to lose himself. He’d heard of half breeds crippling themselves, at best, after birthing.

It just – wasn’t done.

He sighed again and rubbed his arms, then watched as Thor and Tony had a few, final words of good bye and he heard Thor’s laughter waft over.

He turned to look at the city below him, saw the wind playing with banners and flags and saw the people of Midgard.

True, he had wanted to visit this realm – just under different circumstances.

Someone cleared their throat and Loki turned, blinking when he saw Stark standing beside him.

“Umm…” Tony scratched his head, looking for words.

Loki raised a brow at him.

“Here”

Tony thrust something at Loki and immediately turned back to leave, groaned and spun _back_ at Thor’s glare.

Loki, who was looking at the item in his hands, frowned “What is this?”

“You have to open it” Tony mumbled.

Loki looked at him, then at Thor, who shrugged.

The box was nicely packed and only just fit into Loki’s hand.

He looked at it, waving a hand over and watching the wrapping fall off.

“Oh, you have _got_ to teach me how to do that” Tony said, looking apprehensive.

Loki lifted the lid of the box and his eyebrows rose in mild surprise when he saw the rattle inside.

He lifted it and blinked.

The rattle was no ordinary one, its head glowed blue and green, turning from one color to the other slowly and when Loki shook it, soft music and lyrics wafted through, soothing, calming and so beautiful that it took Loki a moment to realize it was _Thor’s_ voice he heard coming from that gift.

He looked at Tony in slight wonder.

“How…?”

“Please…” Tony scoffed, starting to get nervous “I’m a genius. I can do anything”

Loki, who had been so far unwelcoming of Stark, smiled at him.

“Thank you”

And Tony blushed, of all things.

“It’s just a rattle” he said, lowering his head and scuffing the ground with his toe.

“It’s lovely” Loki said, though it hurt him that everyone was already thinking nothing of his wishes.

Tony made a strange noise and turned, having done his job and walked over to Thor.

“There, you happy?” he snarled.

“Ecstatic” 

Tony rolled his eyes and crossed his arms as he watched them both.

Thor walked up beside Loki and smiled at him.

Loki looked at the present he’d gotten instead and put it back in the box before holding it to his chest.

“I’m ready to leave” Loki said.

He was still lost in his on conflict; to have the baby or not.

And even Thor’s presence was a constant burden to him.

So he might have repeated this phrase more often that he’d realized and Thor’s face saddened a little.

“I know” Thor said, touching his arm “You have told me often enough”

Loki blushed when Thor confirmed his suspicions and dropped his gaze.

“Forgive me”

“There’s nothing to forgive” Thor said, coming to stand beside Loki.

He looked at Stark.

“Thank you, friend for your hospitality” he boomed “It will not be forgotten”

Tony waved a hand “Please, stop being so noble. You came for the drink, nothing else”

Thor laughed “Nay, the horse piss you have here tempts me not”

Tony made a face “Could you use another way to describe my awesome drinks, please?”

“Watered down horse piss?”

“Get lost, Thor” Tony shook his head.

Thor laughed again, then put an arm around Loki’s waist, pulling him to his side.

“Till we meet again” Thor nodded to Tony.

Tony raised a hand in goodbye and stepped back, not one to test how close he could get to the bifrost, and went inside.

Loki held on to his gift and let Thor hold him as the clouds and thunder culminated above him to form a portal.

A moment later, booms and deafening roars sounded and a bright light shot down upon them to take them home.

Then it faded, they were gone.

And Tony was left rubbing his eyes and cussing.

Again

Jarvis sighed _When will you ever learn, Sir?_

“Screw you Jarvis, this isn’t the eclipse I can stare at it if I want!”

Jarvis heaved another sigh and went about his long suffering life.

***

Loki’s entrance back into Asgard was – anticlimactic.

He didn’t expect fireworks or a parade, but he did expect someone.

After all the hours he’d spent trying to get Thor to take him back, it just felt awkward that he arrived there, clinging to Thor, their luggage the only thing with them, and Heimdall staring at them.

“Heimdall!” Thor greeted him, trying not to show the hurt on his face when Loki immediately put distance between them “You are well again, my friend”

“Aye” he said, giving Thor a small smile “The healers in out realms are by far the best and I was blessed with their care, so it comes as no surprise”

Then his golden gaze went to Loki.

“I see you are well, too young prince” he said, nodding “good to see you in such fine health”

Loki blinked at him, then dropped his gaze to the floor “Thank you”

It was a whisper, but Hiemdall smirked.

“Your horses are about to reach” Hiemdall said “your parents have been notified and await in the throne room for you both”

“Excellent” Thor said, holding a hand to Loki “Beloved?”

“Your brother is coming with the horses”

Thor’s head snapped back and Loki paled.

Balder was coming here; a confrontation was going to take place and Loki didn’t think he could handle it.

“Balder…” Thor croaked, looking at Loki and silently wishing him to help.

“I look to Alfhiem now” Heimdall said, looking ahead “Go, he’s about to reach us”

Thor looked at Loki then uncertainly dropped his hand.

Loki crossed his arms over his chest and walked forward, knowing his trunk will be in his rooms before he would. He didn’t look at Thor, he wished he didn’t have to look at Balder, either, but when he saw the First Prince of Asgard arrive, Loki had no choice.

He saw him from inside the dome, wearing his armor and pulling along two horses,  the wind whipping his hair, emphasizing the coldness of his features.

He _looked_ imposing and Thor felt a shudder go up his spine.

He tried to school his features, but he ended up looking guilty as he and Loki exited the dome.

Balder pulled to a stop before them, his horse, large and black, grunted and whined as he looked down at them both.

“Brother…” Thor moved forward “I …”

“Father awaits you” Balder said, his tone cold and his face colder, throwing them the reins “Don’t keep him waiting.”

Thor flinched, his eyebrows rising in hurt and his mouth slackening a little.

“Balder…” Thor whispered.

But Balder immediately turned his horse, not even looking at Loki, and galloped away, leaving the horses to Thor and Loki, and leaving the couple stunned.

Thor watched his brother go, loss knotting in his stomach as he stared after him, recalling the last words he had said to Balder.

It felt like his heart was being torn in two and a thin sheen of tears came over his eyes, refusing to leave even as Thor blinked.

So when a slender hand took his own, Thor startled.

He turned his gaze to his side and saw Loki beside him.

Just by being there, Loki seemed to heal him and Thor gave his hand a grateful squeeze before leading him to his horse.

Erick nickered and pawed the brifrost, trotting over to Loki and nipping at his hair.

“Yes, I missed you too” Loki smiled, laughed and pet the horse’s head.

Thor shook his head and let Loki go to move to Darcy, giving her a loving pet and kissing her head.

Erik jumped a little and Loki let him tug on his hair before he pushed it back and walked over to sit on the eager horse.

Thor jumped on Darcy.

“A race, then?” Thor asked, looking at Loki “winner rides the loser’s back to the throne room”

“You cant be serious”  Loki said, raising a brow.

“Oh, but I am” Thor smiled, leaning forward “Or are you scared?”

Loki’s eyes turned to slits and he pulled on Erik’s reigns “Let’s go, then”

Erik seemed to be as ready as Loki and turned, tapping the ground with his foot and pulling his ears back.

“On three” Thor said.

“One” Loki counted.

“Two” Thor leaned forward.

“Three!” Loki shouted and kicked Erik into a run.

The horses galloped forward, leaving behind Heimdall and the dome and, for now, all feeling of resentments that coursed between them both.

***

Frigga was…

…when she stopped screaming in joy, she was ecstatic.

Apparently, even though neither Thor nor Loki had said a word about Loki’s pregnancy, as per his wishes, she knew.

And the moment Loki had lifted water instead of ale, she’d known.

The scream she had let loose had been enough to startle everyone at the awkward dinner. The tension between the brothers and Loki was almost palpable and though Thor was continuously trying to get Balder to talk to him, at least, he was getting nothing other than short, clipped answers that had even Odin wincing.

Loki had remained silent, blaming himself for this, and Frigga had tried to intervene but ended up falling silent when Balder didn’t listen and Thor looked devastated.

That was until she saw Loki place a hand over his goblet and drank water instead.

“You’re pregnant!” she had said.

Both brothers had looked at her in shock and Loki had paled, putting back his goblet and wondering how she knew.

“You are!” she all but screamed, pushing off her seat and running towards Loki, who stood nervously, and threw her arms around him, hugging him.

“Oh my darling, that is wonderful news!” she said, pulling back.

She framed his face between her hands and lowered his head to kiss his forehead “You have made me so happy. Tell me, how long? When did you find out?”

“Uh…” Loki threw a pleading glance at Thor, who sat behind him and Thor looked on just as helplessly.

“Oh, forget him for the moment, talk to me” Frigga turned Loki’s head to her and smiled lovingly “Oh, you are glowing, my dear. How could anyone not know?”

Loki blushed and tried to extract himself, tried to move away but he couldn’t, not when Frigga was there.

A heavy chair scraped and Odin stood.

Loki stilled and both Thor and Balder got to their feet in a sign of respect for him.

Frigga took a step back, allowing Odin to come forth and stand before Loki.

Loki looked at him uncertainly before Odin smiled.

“Congratulations, son” he said fondly “you have given us something Asgard will be proud of”

Loki looked into Odin’s eye, his own watering in despair.

He was _going_ to have this baby.

Odin reached forward and cupped the back of Loki’s neck and pulled him forward so he could kiss his forehead.

And Loki closed his eyes when he heard Odin murmur a prayer against him and felt the magic course through him, protecting the life he carried.

Loki wanted to sob, but he kept his lips firmly shut until Odin was done.

Then Odin stepped back and turned to Thor with spread arms.

“My child”

Thor came forward, smiling softly and looked at Loki over his father’s shoulder, trying to convey something, anything, to get Loki’s eyes to stop tearing up.

Frigga gave a small, delighted squeal and grabbed Loki again, embracing him again and grinning.

She looked beautiful and so happy, especially when Loki embraced her back.

It was, by all means a happy occasion, had it not been for Loki’s eyes and Thor’s breaking heart.

“Now” Frigga said, stepping back from Loki “come sit with me, we have much to talk about”

She dragged Loki over to a settee and sat him down, running to get a stool so he could place his feet up on it. Odin laughed and shook his head.

“That woman had been dreaming of grandchildren since you were born” Odin patted Thor’s shoulder.

Thor wasn’t looking, he gave Balder a glance and saw his brother staring at nothing, his mouth a firm line.

He wanted to go to him, to apologize, to beg him for forgiveness, but he knew now wasn’t the time.

For Balder was far too wounded.

“Come on, this calls for a drink!”

Thor turned back to Odin at the announcement “No, actually, Loki and I are a little tired, we wish to sleep”

“Sleep!?” Odin cried out, giving Thor a mock surprise glance “What has gotten into you? You’re not even a father yet and you are behaving!?”

Thor smirked “Nay, I am still that rogue that spent time in the streets”

“Gutters, Thor” Odin corrected, slapping his shoulder again “but one drink. To celebrate the new life you will bring into his realm”

With that, Odin left to go to his liquor cabinet and Thor stood, helpless as he watched Loki try and keep his mask firmly on his face as Frigga talked to him, gesturing with her hands wildly.

She was so happy.

And Loki looked broken.

“Congratulations, brother”

Thor turned when Balder spoke from beside him suddenly.

“You finally have all that we wanted”

“Balder…”

“I would never do that to you” Balder looked directly into his eyes, glaring at him as he whispered “I would never hurt you in that way. Even when I thought I did, it seemed like a lie. I was coming over to tell you that before you so callously disowned me”

“Brother, I …”

Balder raised a hand to cut him off “I’ve heard enough. A dead man has no more to hear from a former brother”

Thor paled “Balder, please”

“I wish you every happiness, Thor” Balder gave him a curt nod “May you and your spouse have the best life possible”

“Balder, wait…” Thor said softly, calling to him.

But Balder had already turned away and was leaving.

He cared naught for Thor’s apology and he didn’t even look at Loki as he slammed open the doors and left.

Loki had seen him go and he raised his eyes to Thor again, silently begging him.

Thor didn’t know what to do and Odin arrived soon after, his finest bottle of ale in his hand.

“This is older than me” he told Thor proudly as he poured three goblets.

He handed Loki juice and smiled at him, making Loki flush and turn to look at the juice as Odin started his toast.

“To the new beginning, the new heir and” Odin raised his glass to Loki “to the son I acquired, who is nothing short of a miracle in my family”

Loki blinked and flushed brighter, swallowing his drink before getting up.

“Excuse me” he said, bowing to them “Thor was right, I wish to rest”

Frigga nodded in understanding “I shall come visit you in the morning”

“Of course” Loki nodded to her, bowed to Odin and turned, keeping his back straight till he closed the doors behind him.

Then he gave in to the impulse and ran.

***

When Thor came in an hour later, he found Loki crying.

His heart broke as he walked over where Loki lay on his front, hiding his face in the pillows as he wept.

Thor sat on the edge of the bed and looked at him with tortured eyes.

“Oh, darling…”

“Leave me alone” Loki whispered “For once, Thor, just leave me alone”

The words were like shards into Thor’s already broken heart and he almost recoiled.

“Loki…”

“Please” Loki whispered, not lifting his head.

Thor nodded and pulled his lips inwards, his own eyes shining with grief.

He stood and walked to the stairs, going down to their living area, every step enunciated by Loki’s weeping from behind him.

When Thor landed downstairs, he heard a meow.

He looked, teary eyed, at Hela.

He couldn’t help but smile through his tears.

“Hello, darling, did you miss me?” he walked over and knelt beside her, scratching her ears.

When Thor had carried Loki in on his back after deliberately losing the race, Hela had jumped about, meowing and purring as though they had left for years and years without giving her any food.

Hela walked over, purring and rubbed her face against Thor’s knee.

She nipped at Thor’s fingers, too, before licking them and rubbing against his legs.

Thor fell back on his rear and she jumped into his lap, purring loudly.

It helped Thor because he could focus on that instead of Loki’s heartbreaking cries that came from behind.

Hela curled up and looked at Thor, expecting to be pet until the end of time.

Thor sat back, placing his balance on one hand as he enjoyed Hela, making her purr and laughing when she began to knead his leg.

He was so involved that it took him a moment to realize that the sobs had stopped.

Thor looked over his shoulder at the stairs, like he expected Loki to be there.

But when all he saw were the stairs, he placed Hela down, ignoring her indignant meow and her attempt to scratch him in dismay, and stood.

He walked up slowly, wondering what he would see.

When he came to the chambers, he saw Loki sleeping on the very pillow he had been crying on.

Thor sighed and came over, gently sitting at Loki’s feet to take off his shoes.

He stopped, going cold all over when he saw that Loki had already taken them off.

He wanted to help him out of his tunic, but Thor saw Loki had done that as well.

And though it seemed silly, Loki was more than capable of taking care of himself and dressing and undressing without Thor’s help, the fact that he had done something Thor enjoyed doing was a dagger right into Thor’s heart.

He sighed and ran a hand down his face, trying to think of how good it  had been between him and Loki and how he would do anything to get that back again.

Anything.

***

As it turned out, Thor didn’t have to do anything.

The next morning, Loki sitting on the balcony, reading.

His feet were propped up on a footstool and Hela sat beside him, meowing loudly and purring, trying to get his attention and keep it. she was happy the few moments Loki pet and scratched her behind the ears, but she complained when he started to read again and forget her.

And Thor wasn’t around to pet her, having gotten up early and gone out to Norns knew where because apparently he’s had an idea.

Loki had still been sleeping, so when he’d woken up alone, he’d thought of how Thor was possibly angry with him.

He’d had some breakfast, then decided to spend the time reading.

Frigga had yet to arrive, so he had her visit to look forward to, then he wanted to mend things with his husband.

He’d probably broken Thor last night.

Loki didn’t cherish the feeling.

The doors banged open without warning and Loki startled, looking at them.

This eyes widened in surprise when he saw the figure striding forward.

“Idunn!” he sat up but by then she had already reached him.

“You bloody idiot!”

She hit him on the head, making him cry out.

“You stupid, bloody, idiot, what the Hel is wrong with you!?” 

Idunn expressed every word with a vicious hit to his head, his shoulders and his back when he bent low.

“Idunn, stop it!”

“No, you stop!” Idunn said, glaring down at him “Stop hurting him! Stop being a victim, Loki, because you are not! Do you have any idea how fortunate you are!?”

Loki, who had raised his hands in surrender, lowered them as he stared at her.

“You have _everything_!” she scolded, glaring at him “You have a family that loves you, a husband that is devoted to you and a life where nothing is lacking! And to top it off, you have a child on the way! Do you even know the kind of blessing you have?”

Tears came over her eyes “Do you have any idea what I would do to give Balder what you are giving to Thor? I would _kill_ anyone the fates asked me to if I had this gift. And you…”

She fisted her hand and Loki flinched, expecting to be hit again.

But she lowered it and glowered at him.

“You act like it’s some sort of curse!” she said loudly “Are you stupid, Loki? Are you really this ungrateful!?”

“I …”

“And don’t you dare say it’s because you fear for yourself, you are not that selfish!” she hissed “and neither are you a coward”

“Idunn…” Loki said, looking at her “I’ll …”

“You won’t die!” she snapped, still glaring at him “What did you think I gave you all that apple juice for!?  You may be half blood but with _my_ apples, you are stronger than any halfblooded being there ever was. Yes, they have died giving birth, but you won’t! I made sure of that, Sigyn is there to assure it, for the love of Bor, you stupid idiot, you have Frigga on your side! Stop acting like you are going to slaughter, you fool!”  

Loki’s jaw slackened as he stared at her.

“I should hit you again” Idunn said, though she only crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him “I should drag you out by your _ear_ and take you around Asgard, show you how many women and men want what you have, what you carry like a burden!”

Her lip quivered and Loki noticed, slowly standing before her. He blinked when she stepped back.

“Idunn…”

“I don’t hate you” she said, glaring at him like an insolent child would “but you deserved those slaps. How long are you going to act like the world is falling down around you, Loki? It isn’t.”

Loki stared at her.

“No one is going to hurt you, no one wants to see you get hurt” Idunn said “You think it’s because your important to Thor that everyone tolerates you, you’re wrong. You’re my friend and I love you, Loki, true I want to strangle you at the moment, but that doesn’t change that fact. Frigga loves you, Odin loves you, even … even though he is sore at the moment and things are awkward between you, even Balder cares for you. And Thor is taken by you in a way he hasn’t been with anyone else. I have been with him since he was born and he hasn’t shown so much love for his parents, the way he shows his love for you. He is willing to do anything for you and you…”

She looked at him sadly “You are ungrateful”

Loki blinked at her “I’m not…”

“Yes, you are” she cut in “you are ungrateful. For everything we do and for everything given to you, you are ungrateful. I will take care of you, Thor will take care of you, Fandral, Hogun, Volstagg, Frigga, Odin, Balder, Bragi, Theoric and Sigyn, they will give their lives for you.” she shook her head “and it’s not enough for you. So you are ungrateful.”

Loki dropped his gaze in shame.

“Pray you realize how fortunate you are because when you are not thankful and act as you have been, you end up losing what you don’t cherish”

Loki looked at her, then back at the floor.

“I just hope you get enough sense to see that and cherish the life you have been given, Loki” Idunn said, turning to leave “Because I am tired of having everyone explain to you and tired of hearing others tell you how much they care. And I am tired of having you disbelieve it”

“Idunn, wait” he called, going after her.

“Thor’s in his mother’s gardens” she threw over her shoulder “And don’t talk to me until you decide you don’t want to be an idiot and get your priorities right. Crying all night will get you nothing”

Loki faltered and came to a halt and Idunn swept out of the room with a flair, slamming the doors shut behind her.

***

Idunn wanted to be alone.

That was why she ignored everyone she would normally greet and all but ran to her cottage, opening the door and closing it behind her, snapping the bolt shut before she leaned against it, her eyes closed.

“You didn’t knock”

Idunn startled, jumped and looked at the man sitting at her table.

She placed a hand over her chest.

“You scared me”

Balder smirked and stood “Not as badly as you scare me, my darling”

Idunn blinked and looked at him before she turned away “I should…”

She walked forward, going to where she kept her books, unable to look at Balder.

She felt ashamed of her reaction, unable to even think about what she had done when Balder had told her that he’d betrayed her.

She’d hurt him deeply and even when she found out it had been a farce, that he hadn’t truly done it, she couldn’t face him, not without regret of her actions coming before her.

She never meant to hurt him.

And now she didn’t have the courage to apologize to him.

So she hid, as she usually did when things went horrible.

But Balder wasn’t having it.

The moment she moved, he grabbed her arm and spun her back, pulling her to his chest and kissing hr full on her mouth.

Idunn gave a startled cry and pushed for only a moment before she melted into it and put her arms around his neck, lifting herself to him, closing her eyes shut.

They stood there for a long time, kissing, clinging, gasping, before Idunn pulled back and looked at Balder with uncertain eyes.

“But I didn’t apologize”

Balder smirked and kissed the tip of her nose “You never do”

“But…”

“Hush” he kissed her again “nothing good will come from going to the past”

“I hurt you”

“I hurt you first”

“Balder”

“Enough, my love” he said, lifting her up to him, putting her legs around his waist and carrying her “The time for words has passed”

He kissed her into silence, then  fit her perfectly into his arms and carried her to her bedchambers, kicking the door shut behind him.

***

Thor _looked_ so proud that Bragi couldn’t help but shake his head as he sat on the grass, one leg pulled up while the other relaxed on the ground.

He had a dagger in his hand that he kept wiping between his fingers and throwing to the ground before picking it out and doing it again.

There was a smile on his face as he watched Thor circle his creation, fixing flowers where they drooped and weaving them back in before circling it again.

Bragi chuckled “Will you leave it alone? You’re bound to do damage to it this way than by letting it be. It’s finished, take a breath”

Thor hummed and placed a contemplative hand under his chin as he looked at it “It’s still missing something”

“A babe?”

Thor made a face, “No…just…something”

He’d made a crib.

Actually, he’d bought one and brought to his mother’s gardens so he could weave flowers of all colors into the dome that will shield his child from harsh light and sun.

He or she will be safe in this haven.

Or …

Thor’s mouth turned down when he saw a few flowers already starting to wither.

“They’re dying” he said, walking over and carefully lifting the bowing heads of the flowers.

“Well, what did you expect?” Bragi stood, walking over.

“But I worked so hard” Thor almost pouted.

Bragi rolled his eyes at the childish display and sighed.

“Will you ever grow up?”

He came over and rested a hand on the top of the crib.

Thor watched, eyes wide as golden light seemed to seep off from Bragi’s palm and drip over the flowers, drowning them a moment before they all came back to life, brighter than before and smelling so sweet it made butterflies aware of it.

Thor stared at Bragi.

“Now the flowers will remain this way…” Bragi began in a dramatic voice “until the both of you … I don’t know, kiss under the sun’s dawning light, or some such fiddle faddle”

Thor kept staring and Bragi blinked, stepping back.

“You’re not going to kiss me, are you?”

That made Thor snort before he looked at Bragi and a mischievous look came upon his face.

“Actually, I have something much worse in mind”

Bragi’s eyes widened “Come near me and I will punch you”

Thor extended his arms and came forward “Brother!”

“Get lost, you idiot!” Bragi turned and dodged him, spinning around and…

…came face to face with Loki.

Thor hit his back and stopped.

Bragi smirked to Loki “Good to have you back, prince”

Loki nodded “Thank you”

Hesitantly, he lifted his gaze to Thor, who was looking at him over Bragi’s shoulder.

His blue eyes were anxious and Loki hated himself for putting that anxiety there.

“I’ll…uh…” Bragi slipped out from between them and moved into the trees.

He was gone a moment later, leaving the two lovers alone.

Loki cleared his throat and nervously scratched his arm, looking aside and Thor bit his lip.

“Thor…”

“Loki…”

They both shut up and looked at each other.

Thor cleared his throat “Um… I made something … for … for you”

Loki was not expecting that. Neither was he expecting Thor to be so shy.

So that surprised him.

“Okay”

He nodded and walked forward, almost _feeling_ the tension he’d placed between them.

A moment later, it vanished, with nary a trace when he saw what was before him.

Loki gasped, a hand going to his mouth as he stared at the white crib, bordered by the greenest ivy he had ever seen and flowers of white and red and pink and yellow, peach and orange and the most beautiful violet filled it, woven in with such love and care that Loki felt his heart race in joy.

“Oh, Thor…”

Instantly, Loki pictured it.

He pictured the crib in their room, right by the balcony where the softest winds would blow and inside, with blue eyes and blond hair, skin as fair as snow and wisps of magic already lingering around tiny fingers, their baby inside.

Loki’s breath hitched and he felt Thor’s hand come on his shoulder.

“That’s why I got up early” Thor explained, turning a bright red “I didn’t want to…”

The rest of his sentence was taken by Loki’s mouth as he turned and pulled close to Thor, kissing him so hard Thor stumbled a few steps back before he caught Loki, pulling him to his chest.

He groaned into the kiss, his eyes falling shut.

But Loki pulled back, cradled Thor’s face between his hands and kept his head lowered, eyes closed as he spoke.

“It took me a beating and a friend telling me how ungrateful I was, to see my mistake”

Thor blinked, looking at him.

“I have never been given as many things as I have been while I have been with you, love being the foremost” Loki went on, not opening his eyes “I didn’t know what to do with them and I ended up being so unthankful that I almost lost them. I have been selfish and unjust, I have hurt you and I have hurt our marriage in the process. I have said stupid things, behaved like an idiot, but Thor…”

Thor looked into his eyes when Loki opened them to stare at him.

“Don’t give up” he pleaded “please don’t give upon me, don’t leave like you did this morning. I am an idiot and I have hurt everyone I love, but please, do not be cruel, even when I deserve it. I need…”

Thor froze

“I need you, Thor” Loki said, resting his forehead against Thor’s “I need you”

Thor’s arms tightened around him and Loki gasped before Thor kissed him again and pulled him even closer.

The crib seemed to glow behind them, a pearly glow to match the stone it was made from.

***

They were in bed, softly talking to one another.

Thor sat against the headboard while Loki sat against him, letting him run his hand up and down Loki’s still flat belly. 

One pale hand rested on Thor’s while the other lifted cherries from a bowl on the bed beside him, popping them into his red stained mouth.

Loki sniggered when Thor’s hand tickled him.

“That tickles” he complained, applying only a little pressure to make Thor stop.

Thor hummed and rested his mouth on Loki’s bare shoulder “Have you thought of names?”

Loki shook his head lazily “No. Have you?”

“Yes”

“Tell me” Loki said, turning his head and kissing Thor’s jaw.

“If it’s a girl, I want her to me named Thora”

Loki laughed “Arrogant, much?”

He barked in laughter when Thor tickled him a moment before pulling back and stopping.

“How about Thori?” Loki suggested “It has a pretty ring to it”

“Or Loki” Thor said “but we will stretch the last syllable”

“So I will have to wait for the stretched syllable to know who you call to?”

“Yes”

“You’re an idiot”

Thor hummed and kissed his shoulder “what about you?”

Loki shrugged “I like the name Hela”

Hela meowed.

“Go away” Thor snarled at her “and you will name our daughter after a cat?”

“No, I will name the cat after my daughter”

Thor rolled his eyes, chuckling.

“What about if you have a son?”

“Thor” Thor replied

“You can’t have two Thors” Loki said

“Why not?”

“Because it will be strange” Loki said “I wouldn’t be able to call you without wondering who will answer. It will be Thor the First and Thor the Second”

Thor laughed “There is no problem. You will have to give me a pet name”

“Like what?”

“Beloved” Thor said

Loki hummed “No. I will call you My Heart”

Thor blinked

“Because that is what you are to me; my heart”

Thor smiled softly “As you wish, Beloved”

Loki hummed and relaxed back against Thor.

“What names did you think of if we had a boy?” Thor asked.

Loki thought about it “Sleipnir, Fenrir or Jormungandr”

Thor blinked “I shall call him pet names”

Loki laughed, then hit Thor “That’s mean”

“Is it?” Thor said “Let’s ask the person who will have that fortunate name then”

Loki frowned “What?”

He yelped when Thor pushed him down on the bed, laying him flat before levering himself over him.

Loki blinked and Thor placed a kiss on his nose before he moved lower and addressed Loki’s middle.

He cleared his throat “So, what do you say? Do you like the names Loki suggested or do you like the name ‘Thor’?”

Loki laughed “Thor, what are you doing?”

“Hush, I want to listen”

With that, he leaned down and placed his ear on Loki’s abdomen.

Loki waited, laughing softly and placing a hand over his mouth when Thor made an irritated noise.

He waited.

Thor hummed and made affirming noises.

“Oh, I see” Thor said, lifting his head to look at Loki “He doesn’t like my name”

Loki laughed “I like this one already. What else did he or she say?”

“Let me listen”

Loki waited, beaming in joy.

“Let … Thor …” Thor translated “have…the last … caramel apple”

Loki barked in laughter “What!?”

“Tomorrow I am to get us three caramelized apples” Thor told Loki, his face sober “And you are to give me the last one”

“Because the baby said so?”

“No” Thor smiled “because _our_ baby said so”

Loki hummed and pulled his arms around Thor’s shoulders as he moved up to kiss him.

“What else did our baby say?”

“He said that you use too much Bubble Bath and that he is afraid he will fly out your rear in a bubble”

A moment later Thor yelped.

And a moment after that, the room was filled with laughter, rising to the ceiling.

***

Bragi was agitated.

Something was clawing on the insides of his mind, pounding inside him, trying to get out and he found himself snarling.

It had been better a few days ago, much calmer.

It wasn’t at this height of frenzy.

It scratched and pulled and raked him from the inside, making him put his hands on his head to try and get rid of it.

It didn’t work and thrashed in his bed, eyes screwing shut.

The early morning light painting him in the picture of agony and a small sound escaped him.

It had been this way since his return.

There was something inside him, something that longed to get out.

Something that had made him lie about how he had escaped.

He knew Byleistr was alive and he didn’t tell anyone.

He knew how Farbauti fell and he remained silent.

He had brought the Casket back, as he had been urged to and he had lied to everyone he shouldn’t.

It had gotten better, after that, but now it was back from its hibernation, brought forth again.

It was chanting in his head now.

‘Catch them, kill them…’

It was like a spell that was working on him and Bragi didn’t know how to fight it.

It reached a fever pitch and Bragi had just opened his mouth to scream in rage…

…when it vanished.

Bragi gasped, sitting up in bed and staring at the wall before him.

He didn’t know what had just happened.

He didn’t remember.

***

Thor and Loki were with Thor’s parents, going through a box that held pictures.

Frigga was marveled by Midgard’s technology and Odin kept laughing at the pictures Thor showed him.

Loki sat, curled beside Thor, handing him pictures and waiting for him to tell him who they were.

He laughed when he saw four people he did know.

“Look” Loki showed it to Thor “Volstagg looks twice as large”

Odin chuckled “And Sif looks right about ready to kill someone”

Thor laughed and rubbed Loki’s arm as he held him tight.

“And Father, you look like that Midgardian elf, Santa Claus”

“He was no elf” Odin ruffled “he was a joy giving guardian”

“Who rode reindeers”

“And ate cookies”

Loki smiled and pulled out another stack, handing them to Thor to sift through.

“Look” Thor chuckled “One of Stark’s famous poses. He calls this one the ‘Superman’”

“The Man of Iron becomes the Man of Steel” Odin said

Thor laughed and looked at the picture “Jane took this”

Frigga gave Thor a sad smile and Odin squeezed his shoulder.

Loki suddenly seemed awkward and he couldn’t help being a little jealous of the phantom.

Thor smiled at Loki “You haven’t seen her yet, have you?”

“It’s alright” Loki said, trying to sound casual, looking at the tapestry on the farthest wall.

Thor chuckled, kept shut about his jealousy and kissed his head.

“Here”

Loki’s lips tightened as he turned to look at the picture Thor held out.

He was about to say something … snarky…when he froze.

Horror descended on his features when he looked into the face of the woman he had killed in his failed attempt to get the Tesseract.


	29. For to Be Invincible - He Needs Your Love

It was night time when he entered the building, one hand behind him, silently closing the portal that had brought him here.

He was crouched low, moving from shadow to shadow as a wraith.

He looked at the people that moved about.

Midgardians, they looked somewhat like him, but he knew they were more – fragile.

They didn’t see him, not when he had that cloak upon him, not when he moved on silent feet and not when he kept muttering the spells he had so carefully learned.

They moved about, lifted papers and colored instruments he wanted to see, but couldn’t at the moment.

He was pressed for time.

He came here for only one thing and one thing he would get.

The Tesseract.

Because the moment Loki had heard his brother, Byleistr mention the existence of an item powerful enough to get him the throne, to get them what they both wanted, Loki knew he had to get it.

He had asked discreet questions, being careful so as not to alert Byleistr of his interest and therefore make him withhold all information from Loki.

His brother usually did that.

It had taken him a good part of the month to discover that it rested upon Earth, Midgard, after an ill fated attempt by the clan called the Chitauri, to take over that meager planet.

He didn’t know the details, nor was he interested in them, but he was interested in the fact that he could sense his energy if he let his magic connect with it.

He had tried, coming to Midgard on odd times and eventually, discovering powerful tendrils that called him forth.

Today, on his fourth visit, he’d found them, stronger, and knew this was his chance.

He had no weapons, nor did he know how to use them, but he had his magic and it was this magic that he used to cloak himself as he moved down blue and grey halls, marveling at the horrid lighting and being as silent as he could.

He neatly avoided the men and women there as he went closer and closer to his target.

And it was then that things went wrong.

At first, Loki didn’t understand.

There was a ruckus, alarms blaring loud enough to have him flinch and men and women yelling.

Warriors ran out with their weapons and other strange devices, heading for the place Loki had come from.

Loki’s eyes widened when he realized they had somehow managed to detect his portal.

He paled, almost panicking a moment even though he was shrouded in magic.

And he ran.

Blindly, at first, then slowly, when he realized he hadn’t yet been seen. The panic was there, the people were still moving about, on high alert, looking for him, but he wasn’t seen. So he forced himself to calm and leaned against a wall, breathing deeply.

He told himself, over and over, that he was fine, that he wasn’t seen and it worked, if only a little bit, so that he pushed off the wall and once more started to head for the place he felt the tendrils pull him to.

He was careful, though, keeping an eye out for a yell or voices that indicated he was the one being addressed, but when he reached a large, flat, steel door, Loki stopped.

There.

He could feel it, if he touched.

The thrumming power of the Tesseract. It called to him, seduced him with its power and demanded he come and take it away, use it as his own, wield it like a weapon and use it to take whatever he needed.

Loki swallowed and reached forward to place his hand upon the door.

The magic, the power tickled his palm and Loki hummed, closing his eyes.

“Hey, you! What are you doing!?”

Loki gasped and spun around, wide green eyes looking around frantically before they landed on a thickset soldier, pointing his weapon at him.

“Don’t move!” he yelled, then called for his allies.

It took Loki a moment to realize that he could be seen because he’d dropped the spell around him.

He paled, his mouth slackening in horror when he realized that the unlimited power of the Tesseract had

allured him so that he had lost his focus. He stood with his back against the door and his heart beating rapidly in his chest as he stared at the men before him.

He wanted to cast the charm again, but he couldn’t, he couldn’t do anything as they approached, their weapons aimed at him.

“Please…” he whispered.

The Tesseract was right behind him.

If they gave him just a moment,…

Something crashed and the men turned to their right, weapons clicking.

And Loki shot off.

He saw his chance and ran, ignoring the angry yells behind him as he sprinted down a random hall, running blindly, no direction in his mind as he sprinted through.

He heard loud bangs behind him and metal hitting metal, something whizzed past his ear making him cry out and run faster as they attacked.

They were trying to kill him!

Loki sped up, not daring to look over his shoulder as he moved aimlessly, looking for a place to hide and calm his panicked mind enough to conjure focus and create a portal to take him back home.

More shots sounded and Loki ducked his head, narrowly missing it and it stuck in the metal wall before him.

Loki turned a corner and saw a door open, not even ten feet from him he ran to it, slipping inside and slamming it shut, locking it and backing away.

He flinched when he heard them slam and bang their weapons at it and retreated, thinking of the best way to get to the Tesseract, then back home.

“Hey!”

Loki startled and spun around in time to see a petite woman point a sleek looking weapon at him.

“Don’t make a move, understand?” she rasped, her brown eyes narrowed, her brown hair almost wild “Or I swear to God I will shoot you”

Loki froze, looking at her in apprehension, trying and stopping as he reached for his magic.

She slit her gaze and clicked the weapon “Don’t try anything, understand?”

Loki didn’t say anything, he didn’t obey, either.

He leapt to the side, intending finding relative peace and focus on opening a portal and just going home.

But the woman attacked.

Loki heard the loud bang and he waved his arm, magic intended to swipe the weapon aside.

Loki miscalculated.

And a moment later, he heard the woman scream, he heard glass breaking and he heard choking.

Loki froze.

Shivering, he turned back and lost all the blood in his face when he saw the woman lying half in and half out of a large glass door, a thick shard of glass protruding from her middle.

Red blood pumped out from inside her and her weapon was lying beside her twitching hand.

Loki ran forth, amid the sounds of people trying to break the doors. He heard yelling and metallic clanking. 

He came to look down at her, his mouth hanging open as he stared, unsure of what to do.

He crouched down beside her, looking into her eyes as she looked back at him, choking on her pain and blood and anguish. She was looking at him, gasping for breath, trying to do something against the pain that went through her, twitching as he tried to say something.

But all was lost in her agony, nothing could be said because of her pain.

Loki reached out, trying to do something, to do _anything_ …

“I’m…” he gasped, reaching for the shard, hoping to make it vanish so he could at least heal her “I’m sorry, I didn’t…”

A huge crash sounded, the door breaking beneath the attacks and more men ran forth.

Loki  turned to them and inhaled sharply, looking at the weapons they were intending on using on him.

He waved a hand and a moment later, he was veiled in smoke.

The men coughed and cursed and fired blindly, intending on killing, wounding or crippling him.

But Loki was already gone.

The image of that dying woman, didn’t leave him, though. 

And it surfaced now when he saw Thor showing him her picture.

His Jane

Thor’s love

And Loki had killed her.

*** 

Thor was so happy, looking at Loki’s jealousy, perhaps even thinking about playing on it a little, that he was _shocked_ into a trance when Loki snatched the picture from his hand and stood, looking at it as thought it was some sort of demon, his eyes wide, his skin pale and his mouth hanging open as he looked down at it, his body turned to Thor, his gaze turned to Jane.

He raised a shuddering hand to his head, as though he was in fear of falling over.

“No …” Loki panted, shaking his head “No, please, tell me you are wrong, tell me this isn’t _her_!”

Odin and Frigga were as stunned as Thor, watching, possibly, the most extreme reaction Loki had ever given them.

He raised his tormented eyes to Thor, looking at his face, then at the king and queen. His mouth opened and closed but no sounds came out.

Thor stood, slowly walking over “Loki, what’s…?”

Loki shook his head, tears of grief and loss in his eyes “You can’t … you can’t know, you can’t…”

Thor walked over, his face anguished at what had suddenly happened and he grabbed Loki by the arms, gently shaking him.

“What’s wrong?”

Loki swallowed and shook his head “You…”

“Tell me” Thor said very softly, aware that his parents were watching them both, confused and apprehensive.

Loki licked his lips “You’ll leave me”

Thor paled and shook his head “I’ll never. I’ll never leave you, Loki, please tell me what…”

“The Tesseract” Loki said plainly, looking at Thor with watery eyes “She died when someone tried to steal the Tesseract, didn’t she?”

Thor froze, Odin froze and Frigga slowly stood on shaking legs.

Thor’s mouth went dry, looking at his Loki “How do you…?”

“She was impaled” Loki said, his voice hoarse and tears shining in his eyes “By a shard of glass”

Thor let him go, stumbling back, staring at Loki in mounting horror.

His eyes were wide and blue, shining with tears he’d gone so pale even his lip seemed to have turned grey. He stared at Loki, willed him to say _anything_ other than what he knew he was going to say.

No … Thor found himself praying …no, please, Loki, don’t speak…

He wanted to say it out loud, wanted to make Loki stop, not say anything to ignoring this would be the only problem Thor would have to face.

But his throat constricted like someone was choking him and for a moment, he pictured Loki’s hands around his neck, squeezing the breath out of him, because he was killing him.

“H - How…Do you…?”

He saw his beloved take a swallow, take courage before he spoke.

“My brother wanted the Tesseract” Loki said “I wouldn’t have gone otherwise, I …”

Thor’s mouth hung open as the truth broke over his head, bringing tears into his eyes.

No …

No, norns, please let this be a cruel joke.

It wasn’t

The gods didn’t have their prayers answered, they had no one to listen to them.

And the truth was ruthless, harsh and cruel.

He had to put force into his body to have the energy to form even one word after.

“You…!” 

“Thor!”

Everyone startled when Frigga moved, standing before Loki, looking Thor right in the eyes.

“Thor, I know what you said” she said, both gentle and firm “I know what you vowed. But I will not let…”

“You killed her” Thor whispered, not even listening to his mother as he fixed his eyes on Loki “That night, it was you that killed her”

Thunder rumbled outside, dully shaking the floor beneath their feet.

Say no, yell at me, hit me, do something, Beloved just please don’t … say yes.

Loki looked at him, pulled his lips inwards and nodded only once from behind Frigga.

“It was an accident”

No…

***

Thor’s jaw was tense, his hands fisting and unfisting as he stood there, looking at Loki, shaking in disbelief.

“Thor” Odin stood and came beside him “I want you to think about this, do not…”

Thor looked at him, lightning in his eyes and Odin broke off.

He turned back to Loki and for a moment, Loki feared for his life because he saw so much _rage_ in those blue eyes that it was a miracle he hadn’t been roasted where he stood.

Thor was angry, furious, it looked like he wanted to skin Loki alive, right there.

And for a terrible moment, Loki thought he just might.

But then Thor moved.

He turned aside from them, his cape billowing behind him as he stomped through the chambers to head for the door.

“No…!” Loki ran forward, running to Thor.

He gasped, stopping when Odin grabbed his wrist, pulling him back “Let him go”

“No, I …” Loki shook his head, but Odin held up a hand.

“Stay here” he commanded “Let him go”

“But…”

“Loki” Frigga came and gently extracted Loki from Odin’s grip “It’s alright”

Loki looked at her face, his heart hammering in his throat, then looked up.

He only caught the end of Thor’s cape as he left the room and he swallowed loudly, his hand still holding the picture of that woman in his hand.

His eyes were focused on the door, perhaps hoping that Thor would return, if only just to hurt him.

Loki didn’t think he could take Thor leaving.

“Thor…”

His heart was breaking in two, and it was his own fault.

And too late, a thought occurred to Loki, one that should have occurred to him sooner, one that he should have listened to rather than have told Thor the truth.

No one knew what Loki had done.

He could have let it lie.

“Oh, darling”

Loki felt Frigga put her arms around his neck and pull him close, he felt Odin go out to the doors, following Thor in hopes of…

Loki didn’t even pretend to know what Odin was going to do. 

“Stop thinking about it” Frigga said softly, kissing his cheek “stop thinking”

But Loki couldn’t.

He couldn’t stop thinking and he couldn’t stop hurting. He was a cruel man, he inflicted pain on everyone, let no one live peacefully, caused chaos and destruction. 

He was cruel.

Loki stood still, neither embracing her, nor pushing her away.

His eyes were focused on the door Thor had just left through and his hand had crumpled the picture as he stood, wondering what is future, and the future of his child, was going to be.

He didn’t know how long he stood there, but the storm never wavered outside and he felt Frigga take his arm and lead him to a divan placed in their room.

Frigga laid him down upon it, brushing his hair back while she cast soft, charms on him.

Frigga sang to him, she comforted him.

And Loki didn’t know when he fell asleep.

His eyes drooped, spilling the tears he had down his cheeks and his breathing eventually slowed. His body flinched softly every now and then as a few stronger ones hit him.

Frigga sat beside him, brushing his hair back and soothing him, letting him stay here for the night.

It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Thor, or think that he would hurt Loki, but …

Thor’s vow had been … terrifying.

**THAT NIGHT**

The lightning did flash that night, it fell.

The rain didn’t fall that night, it broke.

It broke upon them in a mixture of rage and agony, of disbelief and acceptance. The thunder howled in loss, so loud it shattered windows of the city and scared everyone.

This wasn’t a storm, this was power.

Raw, unadulterated power that coursed through their world and there was nothing for them to do but take it.

Hide from it, take it and pray it goes away.

It would have been useless, yes, because the one person who could control it, didn’t even know he was doing it.

He stood, still as stone, his face impassive as the skies cried and screamed around him.

His black cape, his hair whipped around him as the winds howled in all direction at once, the lightning painted the sky white before turning it to black.

His blue eyes were frozen on the object before him, ignoring the people behind him as he read what it said again and again.

Jane Foster.

The headstone was from Asgard.

The dates of birth and death were printed beneath.

And Thor’s eyes devoured those words like a starved man.

His eyes moved at an almost frantic pace as he read, then re read the words, his hand tightening on his hammer, lighting sizzling and hissing, making the people behind him worry a moment. 

He heard someone calling him, felt someone near, but he didn’t even turn.

They spoke to him, but he barely heard.

He felt the hand on his shoulder, the touches to his cheek as they comforted him through the rain and their own desire to leave and mourn in private.

He didn’t speak.

He didn’t move.

His Midgardian allies left and Thor knew only his family remained behind.

They stood in the rain, like him, waiting for him. Waiting for him to either collapse or turn, they didn’t know.

It had been a tough day for them all, Thor the most.

He had lost the most, suffered the most, so it was natural that he rage the most. So they let him.

They watched as he just stood there, for a long time and it was only when Odin felt his leg tremble that Balder moved forward, his own black clothes sticking to him because they were so wet.

He didn’t touch Thor, he came beside him and looked into his face, knowing that t=Thor was going to look at him soon  enough.

Thor stood for a few moments longer before he blinked and slowly turned his head to the man beside him.

Balder’s expression softened and he placed a hand on Thor’s arm.

“Brother, I know this has been difficult, but Father…”

“A vow”

Balder broke off at the rumbling that came from deep within Thor’s chest, the voice that sounded like a true god.

His eyes were fierce and his face devoid of emotion as he spoke.

“I pledge a vow, tonight” Thor told him “to end who was responsible for this. I will not rest until that Jotun us within my grasp, until I can strangle him, until I can feel his life ebb away beneath my finger tips. I will blind him, break him, skin him before righting him. Then I will do it again … and again. He will not rest, nor will I, until my starvation for revenge and justice is complete. Then, I will kill him, let him live only long enough for him to hope beyond hope that it is over. And so, when he runs for safety, I’ll split his skull”  

Balder stared.

Both Frigga and Odin had heard him because, unknown to the First Prince, the rain and thunder had stopped, leaving nothing.

There was nothing but black.

Thor’s rage had darkened the planet.

“I vow this before you, bind it to my blood and know I will not waver, not unless I myself seek death” Thor told them “This is the vow I take as Thor Odinson, god of Thunder, Future King of Asgard, lover to a murdered woman, friend to a mourning guardian, Protector of Earth, Avenger of my beloved”

Frigga felt a chill go up her spine.

“With you as my witnesses, I take this pledge and neither begging nor the grave will stop me”

Frigga had closed her eyes then, Odin placed an arm around her shoulders and she turned her face to his strength.

She heard Balder gasp and she heard boom.

And when she looked up, Thor was gone.

He was flying far into the distance, seeking the murderer that had taken Jane from him.

Seeking vengeance,

Seeking darkness.

**NOW**

Frigga concealed her shudder well as she looked upon Loki, sleeping in somewhat a disturbed slumber, his eyes flickering.

She rested a hand on his head and it seemed to fade away. Loki fell into a silent sleep then, his hand still holding the picture.

Gently, so that he didn’t disturb him, Frigga took it from him.

She raised he before her eyes, the crumpled paper and blew on it.

A wisp of her magic later, it transformed into a small bird, a dove that cocked its head at her.

She gave it a gentle smile and moved her hand high, letting it fly, letting it go.

It fluttered around a while before it spotted the window and flew to it, going out into the slowly calming skies.

The door clicked and Frigga turned her head to see Odin come in. 

She didn’t speak, but he shook his head once, telling her that, no, whatever he had gone about to do hadn’t happened.

Frigga nodded and Odin came to sit at Loki’s feet.

The boy was sleeping soundly and he knew Frigga had something to do with it.

He sighed and stroked a hand over Loki’s hair, wishing her could soothe him.

Frigga, her eyes fixed on the door, was thinking.

How could someone so long dead, cause a problem for those still living, she didn’t know.

***

Loki was alone when he woke.

And it wasn’t dark.

It wasn’t raining and he idly wondered what time it was and _where_ he was.

He blinked as coherence came upon him and slowly sat up, looking around Frigga and Odin’s chambers.

The bed was made, so either they hadn’t slept or had already left to do their daily duties.

Loki was alone.

He sighed and placed a hand over his forehead, thinking of last night’s disaster and his own damned fate.

He should have known.

He should have known his love couldn’t rival that of Thor’s woman in the thunder god’s heart.

Because last night, the rage he had seen in Thor’s eyes was for him, rage at what _he_ had done to her.

Loki feared that, in the end, Thor would always love her more than him. She was a love taken away, unfulfilled and it was only natural to pine for it, still.

The door burst open before him and Loki startled, looking up.

He paled when he saw Thor stride in, not a falter in his step as he made his way to Loki.

Loki was trembling and he flinched when Thor approached, scooting back on the bed as he watched him with wide, apprehensive eyes.

Loki wanted to say something, wanted to ask something, but all thought left his head when Thor simply leaned over and grabbed his wrist hauling him to his feet.

“Thor!” Loki pleaded as he fell against his chest,

He pushed him, but Thor’s grip was relentless and Loki couldn’t pull himself out, not without hurting Thor.

He gasped when Thor pulled his sleeve back, exposing his arm and the strings tied on his wrist.

The runes Loki had made them wear.

Loki watched, horrified as Thor lifted his wrist to his mouth, catching the strings between his teeth. 

“Thor, no!” Loki yelled, trying to get away, but by then it was too late,

Thor had snapped the runes off Loki, opening him to danger and harm from the crowned prince.

Loki felt fear rise in his heart as Thor looked into his eyes, not even speaking before he abruptly turned and pulled Loki along.

“Thor, please!” Loki begged, pulling at his arm and stumbling behind him as he tried to stop “I didn’t mean it, it was an accident, Thor, please!”

There were tears in his eyes and Loki was feeling dizzy as Thor dragged him out of the rooms.

Frigga and Odin were not there and it took Loki a moment to realize that _Balder_ was.

“Balder!” Loki called in his desperation “Balder, don’t let …!”

He cried out as Thor tugged on his wrist to make him stumble forth before he turned and grabbed him, pulling an arm around his waist, pressing them both close as he looked into Loki’s frightened eyes.

Loki looked right back, shaking his head “Please, Thor, please…I didn’t mean to … I …”

But Thor’s face was furious, so _terrifying_ that Loki stopped speaking because his throat constricted.

And he wasn’t even looking at him.

Thor had turned his gaze to Balder.

He nodded once and Loki sensed magic.

And it took him a moment to realize that Balder was helping Thor.

“No…” he shook his head as he felt Thor’s grip on him tighten.

He should have known.

A few minutes later, he felt the world spinning around him as whatever Balder unleashed took them both in and he felt tears fall down his face when he realized they were being teleported.

He sobbed once and lowered his head a moment before the world spun in a mixture of color and light and spun around him.

When it was over, Thor and Loki were gone.

***

He could feel it, the broken bone slowly mending as he ran his hand down his leg.

There was slight tilt, something that was expected as bones grew together.

The arm he had broken was also healed, though slowly, and the son of Odin wondered how long it would take.

His golden hair fell into his eyes as he worked on the Jotun before him hearing his pained gasps as he proved true the vow he had taken.

His skilled hands, the hands of a warrior skimmed the cool skin and he heard a sharp cry of pain that followed when he moved over the still healing ribs.

“Does it hurt?” his voice was devoid of emotion.

“Yes” 

A painful swallow 

“But only when you keep pressing down on it”

“Forgive me”

The golden haired man reached behind him for the healing stones he had brought and applied them to the bones.

“This will fix the last of it,” he said “you will be as good as new”

A relieved sigh was the reply he got.

“What is your bidding, then?”

“What is the situation?”

“No one knows you live, if that is what you mean”

“No one? You kept my secret, then?”

“Of course I did. You asked it of me, did you not?”

“You have little choice in that, Odinson, forget it not. Tell me when we can strike I have rotted here for so long, just wanting his flesh between my teeth”

“A few more hours. Thor has left with his Jotun. When they return, we can attack. Your son will be no hindrance, I can assure you?”

“Where is he?”

“Around. He seeks ways to get into Asgard, all of them fail and he attempts them again. he has tried speaking to their gatekeeper but as far as I know, he has been ignored”

He smirked “Excellent”

The healing stones cracked.

He gave a relieved sigh and focused on the Aesir before him.

“You have done well, Odinson”

“I am no son of Odin. I am his bastard”

Bragi’s violent golden eyes, stared listlessly as him.

“That you are, but you are also my minion, my only way of getting into Asgard. The only way of getting my revenge”

“I am aware. You have fallen low, have you not?”

Bragi’s head spun aside when he was backhanded.

“I will not tolerate such insolence from you!” he yelled “I didn’t tolerate it from my sons and I will not tolerate it from a bastard, understand?!”

Bragi turned back, his cheek bleeding “Yes”

“Yes, what?” he rasped

“Yes, master”

Farbauti grinned at him “Good. Now go, get me more information and tell me the moment they return. I wish to see my betrothed again”

“Yes, master”

Farbauti watched him go, watched him carve out both their graves.

He knew he wasn’t going to live past what he was about to do.

He just needed to take one life with him when he died.

Slowly, he raised his head to the skies, unable to see them because of the cave he’d taken shelter in. 

He spoke “Do you see this, Laufey? This is _all_ your doing”

He didn’t get a response, naturally, but he could have sworn that the wailing of the Jotun wind outside got stronger. 

***

Loki jolted when the ground hit his feet and cried out softly, holding on to Thor as they landed on grass, sending the scent of sun and the outdoors into the air.

Thor didn’t stumble.

He kept his feet planted firmly on the ground and held Loki tighter, stopping his escape, holding the wrist between their chests still captive.

Loki wasn’t looking at him and Thor’s jaw tensed.

Let him look elsewhere. Thor will have his attention soon enough.

He turned and walked on again, gaining a pained cry from Loki.

He didn’t speak, possibly resigning himself to what he thought Thor was going to do with him.

He stumbled a moment, on the uneven ground before he realized _where_ Thor had brought him.

Loki paled when he saw he was in a cemetery.

“Th – Thor …” he said, his hand doing to Thor’s arm as he pulled him along “What are you going to do?”

His voice shook badly, but Thor didn’t reply.

His jaw was set as he pulled Loki forward, towards the one person that had angered him so.

Jane’s grave was looking at him, possibly questioning him and Thor glared right back.

Loki cried out when Thor yanked him forward and stood him before the grave. His eyes widened when he saw Jane’s name and though he didn’t know her last name, there was no doubting who she was.

Loki wanted to scream.

He wanted to yell and scream and thrash and beg Thor not to do this _in front of her_ but all he could manage to do was whimper and pull at his arm.

Thor just glared down at the grave before he pulled Loki closer.

And he spoke one word.

“Him”

Loki stopped struggling, looking at Thor, at his face, at the  way Thor was glaring at the ground, at _her_.

He didn’t dare speak, not when he didn’t know what the hell Thor was doing.

“I chose him” Thor told Jane “Fate, chose him for me”

There was stillness around them, nothing seemed to move.

“I married him, I love him” Thor went on “He is my life, my soul, everything in me and I will _not…_!”

Thor broke off, breathing ragged “I will not let you raise my guilt, I will not let you hurt …”

Thor swallowed audibly and lifted Loki’s other hand, his left hand and showed it to Jane, showed his wedding ring.

“Look” he rasped “I married him. I made a vow to him, too I pledged him my eternal life and I swore to protect him. I swore to honor him and I will not do that if I keep _our_ vow. I cannot hurt him because …”

Thor swallowed, his anger dissipating “Because you didn’t listen.”

Loki frowned, but he kept his mouth shut.

“You weren’t supposed to be there” Thor spoke to his late lover “You were supposed to listen to me, keep away from that place, from _it_. They had taken it away, kept it away because no one was supposed to know of its existence, not after the destruction it cause, why couldn’t you understand?”  

His blue gaze was tormented “I begged you. I pleaded that you stay away, but you’re curiosity made you disregard what I said”

His mouth thinned “You weren’t supposed to be there!”

Thunder clouds rumbled in the distance.

“You weren’t supposed to be there and now look at what happened!” Thor went on “They wanted to kill him, they were going to hurt him, it was self defense! How can I do anything to him, knowing he was frightened by _your_ people? He didn’t mean to do it, he was going to …”

Loki realized he had tears in his eyes only when he blinked.

Thor was just about blaming Jane for everything, he realized.

He was breaking his vow to her, breaking his promise for vengeance. Loki didn’t move away when he felt Thor release him.

Thor took a step closer to the headstone.

“I would have done anything to save you if I could have” Thor said, his eyes to where Jane lay “I would have sold my soul for it, had it changed our fate”

Loki listened carefully, apparently forgotten.

“You meant so much to me” Thor said “In mere hours, you had my heart, you were a salvation I desperately needed and I cherish our time together”

Thor sat on his knees before the headstone.

“But Loki is my life” he said “he is to me what water is to earth, what trees are to birds, what air is to us. He is my life, he’s my home and he is my very breath. I love him more than I can tell you and harming him is like killing me. I will sooner end my life than ever raise a hand to him. I will forgive him anything, if he asked only once. I would give him my soul, my blood, my life, anything and everything he wanted. He’s more to me than I can ever express”

A soft smile came upon his lips “He is what I have been looking for my whole life. And now that I have finally found him, I cannot give him up to something as common as revenge”

Thor rested a hand on Jane’s tombstone “I am not calling the vengeance I vowed something demeaning, nor do I wish to condone what happened to you. I still miss you and there will always be a part of me that will cherish what we had, but …”

Loki held his breath.

“But I will not lose Loki over it” Thor said “I may have your hate and I may have the damnation of those that break the most solid vows, I will face humiliation, be called a traitor, I will even hold my arms open to any and all insults hurled upon me in my entire life, but I will not let him go. I will not leave him, I will not hurt him”

Loki pulled his lips inwards.

“I will not” Thor said, stroking the top of the headstone.

He swallowed loudly “I know this is a grave injustice for you, you will possibly hate me and I will deserve it so …”

Thor lowered his head, running his hand down the side of the headstone before letting it drop to his side. 

“I wish you goodbye” he whispered “You will not see me again and I will not dishonor you with a broken vow.”

Loki felt his mouth part in surprise.

“You will not see me again” Thor repeated, swallowing loudly “I don’t deserve it”

“Thor…” Loki whispered.

Thor startled, turning back as though he had forgotten Loki was there.

He blinked, watery blue eyes and Loki could take no more.

He leapt forth, falling in the arms Thor held open, pulling one arm around Thor’s neck while the other cradled the back of his head.

“I’m sorry” Loki whispered, closing his eyes “I’m so sorry”

Thor closed his eyes and let his grief, his helplessness, break over his head. He pulled Loki closer, pulled him tightly against him and sobbed into his shoulder.

“She’ll hate me”

Loki shook his head “No. No, Thor she won’t. If anything, she will…”

He had to swallow to go on.

“She will understand”

Thor wailed against him and Loki held him tighter, kissed his hair and relished in the pressure Thor applied to his ribs, relished the feeling of Thor holding him so desperately.

“I’m so sorry” Loki whispered and he kept repeating it out loud.

In his mind, he repeated Thor’s words over and over again. those beautiful words that made Loki feel invincible.

Those words that made him more powerful than he even though possible because when he’d heard them, he had known.

That no matter _what_ he did.

Thor would always love him.

It was something knitted by the fates themselves.

Loki was Thor’s.

And Thor was Loki’s.

Forever.

***

Bragi was … agitated.

There was something wrong with him, but he couldn’t understand what.

He had tried sleeping it off, working it off and beating it off as he trained either with Loki or alone.

But it didn’t seem to be working.

There was an itch, inside his mind, somewhere he couldn’t reach and it was driving him towards insanity at a slow, torturous pace. Nothing was helping.

Nothing.

The ball held tonight, in honor of Loki and Thor’s soon to be born heir wasn’t helping wither.

Neither was the music or the laughter.

The drinks were useless and the food tasted like ash. 

He wanted to run, he wanted to stay, both at the same time.

He wanted to know what was wrong so he could pull it out of him and throw it aside because it was _killing_ him from the inside, tearing him apart, fiber by fiber, gouging out all that was him and putting something else, entirely, inside.

He startled, he did that a lot, when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

He turned to see Balder looking at him, concern in his eyes.

“Are you well, brother?”

_Brother…_

Bragi couldn’t recall when their relationship changed.

He knew it was sometime after Thor denounced his relationship with Balder, but he couldn’t pinpoint it.

He had healed him and they had gotten to talking, but he couldn’t remember what they talked about.

Everything was there before him and elusive at the same time and he … couldn’t reach it.

Bragi swallowed “Perhaps, I have had too much to drink”   

That made Balder smile sympathetically and he stood beside him, arms crossed as he took in the scene.

Nobles and delegates from different realms were here again, invited for the feast, invited to pay tribute to the unborn heir.

He smiled when he saw Loki and Thor standing together, thanking a beautiful lady. He chuckled when she ran a hand up and down Loki’s arm and Thor’s face darkened.

Balder didn’t know, if only for a moment, whether his brother would punch her or not, but then the moment passed and the woman was greeted by a friend who skipped her away.

Loki started to laugh and Thor started to grumble.

Then Loki placed a small kiss on Thor’s cheek and Thor beamed, muttering something in Loki’s ear that made the other turn a bright red.

Thor started to laugh and Loki started to grumble.

Balder chuckled and turned to Bragi.

“They seem to be meant for each…”

He broke off when he saw Bragi wasn’t there beside him. His ice blue eyes looked about, but he couldn’t see the golden eyed warrior anywhere, the new general to their army.

But before Balder could speak, he heard a familiar, sweet voice call to him.

Balder turned and beamed when he saw Idunn skipping over.

She looked _stunning_ and Balder couldn’t help but stare at her like a love struck yearling.

Her blonde hair was done up in a style that made a cascade of curls fall down her neck and shoulders, her eyes looking their most shunning in some sort of shade she had applied and the maroon dress and shawl that emphasized her figure had more people staring than Balder had ever thought.

She blushed as she walked over, looking into his eyes and giving him a graceful curtsy.

“How do I look?” she asked after she straightened.

Balder blinked and swallowed before he spoke “It … I’m a … yes”

Idunn burst out laughing and Balder was mesmerized.

Then she smartly stepped into his space and held out a hand.

“I asked them to hold the next song until you ask me to dance” she said, winking “will you?”

Balder nodded like a dumb mule before he shook his head, gathered his scrambled thoughts and led her out to the floor.

The lute started off slowly, followed by other, softer instruments and soon, everyone cleared the space for the First Prince and his lady.

Thor watched for a few moments, his smile in place, before he felt Loki sway by his side, his green eyes fixed on the couple, a small smile on his face.

And Thor knew what he wanted.

He moved, swiftly coming to stand between Loki and his vision.

Loki blinked when Thor placed a hand behind his back and bowed before him, the music highlighting the grace he displayed.

“My prince” Thor said, looking into Loki’s eyes “A dance, if you please”

Loki made to refuse but then he smiled and nodded, giving Thor his hand “It would be my pleasure”

Thor beamed and pulled Loki forward, pressing them close, letting Loki gain his balance before he placed one hand at the small of Loki’s back and held the other aloft.

Loki placed his other hand on Thor’s shoulder and looked into his eyes.

And a moment later, they were moving.

They spun onto the floor, barely missing a step as the moved in, each lost in the other’s eyes.

The lights were dimmed for them, but they didn’t notice.

Their eyes were only for each other and their movements so synchronized, they didn’t even have to look to see where they were headed.

Thor twirled Loki, bringing Idunn into his vision for a moment and he smiled at how happy she looked, smiled that his work with her had paid off because, apparently, Balder couldn’t look anywhere but at her.

Then they were lost to him and Thor was with him.

Loki hummed in contentment, almost purring as they moved, spinning and floating over the marble floor, eyes and hearts locked together, smiles on their faces, hands pressed together.

And so lost were they, that they never noticed the song had stopped.

It was only when the lights brightened and they both blinked, that he realized that the room wasn’t empty, that they were not the only ones there.

A silent murmur started, then erupted into a dull roar as the guests began to talk amongst themselves.

Balder and Idunn, too separated and Idunn blinked when she realized he was still staring at her.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, suddenly self conscious.

“I didn’t give you an answer” Balder said, brushing some hair behind her ear “because words will not suffice”

Idunn furrowed her brow.

“Excuse me”

Balder left her, suddenly, dodging a few people as they moved into his path and running to the doors without a backwards glance.

Idunn kept looking after him before she heard someone clear their throat.

She smiled when she saw Loki and grabbed his hands.

“It worked!” she all but squealed “I actually knocked him speechless!”

Loki laughed, “Well, I guess _someone_ lost a bet”

She waved a hand “Please, have your stupid apples, I will have something better”

“Balder?”

Idunn looked at him with a suggestive wink.

“Oh norns!” Loki placed a hand over his face and Idunn laughed.

She was just so happy!

“Oh ho!”

They turned to see Thor smiling at them.

“Conspiring already?” he walked over.

Loki rolled his eyes “Of course, Thor, because that is all we do”

“Yes, we are conspiring how we will defeat you in a dancing contest”

“Oh, my dear!” Thor laughed “You only delude yourself”

Loki’s eyes narrowed “And why is that, Thor?”

“Because” Thor told him “You cannot defeat me, Beloved”

And the gauntlet had been dropped.

“What’s the prize?” Loki asked.

Thor blinked “Pardon?”

“The prize” Loki said “what will the winner get?”

It took Thor a moment to realize he’d been challenged.

“Are you…?” he smiled slowly “Challenging me?”

“Yes” Loki said easily “Idunn and I are partners, you can choose whoever you want. Now name a prize.”

“Loki, you cant be serious” Thor said

Loki raised a brow, Idunn crossed her arms over her chest.

Thor blinked “Really?”

“Yes, Thor” Loki said “or do you fear losing?”

Another gauntlet was dropped.

“Okay” Thor said, looking around.

He spotted his beautiful partner.

“Hoy, Sif!”

Loki groaned in despair and ran a hand down his face “Husband, I despair for you and your manners”

Thor blinked but was saved from asking when Sif came over.

Loki blinked at how _stunning_ she looked in white and Idunn had to push his jaw closed discreetly.

“Do stop gawking, you’re married”

Loki slit his gaze at her.

And Idunn laughed.

***

It seemed that they had an audience.

The floor had been cleared and a halo of people formed around them, all watching with smiles on their faces.

Idunn waited in Loki’s arms, Sif waited in Thor’s.

Both women were stunning.

Both men were competing.

It was something no one wanted to miss.

The music started, faster than the last one had been.

Thor and Sif moved first, spinning and twirling, her dress floating, his hair forming radiance around his head, until they stopped at the other end, not even out of breath.

They stared at Loki and Idunn, daring them to do something.

Loki looked to Idunn, and Idunn looked back, giving a firm nod.

A moment later, they broke apart, Loki waved a hand over his head and a new, loud sound enveloped the room, startling everyone, making them jump at this never before heard music.

_Everyday I’m shufflin’!_

A happy, high, bouncy beat filled the room and both Loki and Idunn started to strut, locked in the same place, their feet and arms in synch, jogging on the same spot, bouncing and shuffling their feet on the floor. Their heads and shoulders moved up and down and they both had huge grins on their faces.

They went on for a few moments before the music stopped, the thundering sound faded and they went back to their position.

There was stunned silence before the first snorted laughter.

More laughter followed, then everyone began to cheer and clap and scream for the odd couple.

Loki and Idunn took it all in, bowing low and long.

Sif made a face and Thor…

He couldn’t stop staring.

Because in those few moments, all he wanted to do was grab Loki and kiss him.

That was the most adorable thing he had ever seen Loki do.

And he would kill to see him do it again.

Sif let him go as he all but skipped over to Thor and waved at Fandral, who watched her from the other side of the room.

Loki sniggered at Thor arrived “Well, loser, are you ready to give me my prize?”

“That was amazing!” Thor said, kissing his hands “Where did you learn it?”

Loki blinked and blushed “Saw it on that box on Midgard. I liked it instantly”

Thor threw back his head and laughed, pulling Loki into his arms and kissed his temple.

“That was far too good for words”

Loki leaned into the embrace, all but nuzzling him, when he heard Idunn clear her throat.

“Oh, forgive me” Thor released Loki and bowed to her “To the victor, go the spoils. Tell me what you desire”

Idunn thought about it “Well…”

And suddenly, more music enveloped the room.

It was soft, but loud enough to silence everyone and make them look around.

It took them a moment, but when they saw him, they all stared.

Balder stood where the music wafted from, playing his lute, his eyes fixed on Idunn.

Idunn felt her heart race and she blushed even before Balder started to sing.

And when he sang, the whole room went silent, so that his voice reached the ceiling, echoing around them, resonating.

 _”You had the blue note sapphire eyes, to back up all those gazes_ _  
 _To pierce my guard and to take my soul off to faraway places__ ”  


He had started off with a slightly higher pitch, letting everyone hear and Idunn felt her heart race, Loki reached for Thor’s hand as he listened to, perhaps the second most beautiful declaration of love.

Nothing rivaled Thor’s.

 _”Told me I'll never be alone_ ” Balder sang for Idunn.   
_Because you're right there_ ”

Idunn gasped softly, blinking because of the tears in her eyes.  
  
 _”We took a gamble with this love, like sailing to the storm_ _  
 _With the waves rushing over to take us, we were battling against the tide_  
 _You were my beacon of salvation__ :

Balder looked at Idunn, giving her a soft smile before he raised his voice a little 

_“I was your starlight”_  
  
Idunn pulled her lips inwards, her hand going over her heart.  
  
 _“So don't cry for your love, cry tears of joy_ _  
 _Because you're alive cradled in love_  
 _Don't cry for your love, cry tears of joy_  
 _Because you're alive cradled in love”__

Balder had raised the pitch of his voice again, closed his eyes a moment and gone into those words, telling her how much he meant them.

 _”I kept the love you gave me alive, and now I carry it with me_ _  
 _I know it's just a tear drop from mother earth,_  
 _but in it I can hear a dolphin sing_  
 _Telling me I'll never be alone”__

Balder opened his eyes again, looking into Idunn’s _“I know you're right there_ ”  
  
 _“So with the fire still burning bright, I wanna gaze into your light_ _  
 _If I could see my fortune there_  
 _you know how flames can hypnotize_  
 _Do I even dare to speak out your name for fear it sounds like__ ” 

Balder lifted his gaze and blinked slowly, singing only for Idunn in his deep voice _”like a lover_ ”  
  
Idunn bit her lips and leaned into the arm Sif placed around her shoulders, her own beautiful gaze shining with joy.  
  
 _”So don't cry for your love, cry tears of joy_ _  
 _Because you're alive cradled in love__ ”

Balder stretched out his voice now, sweet and calming, soothing everyone’s ears and filling it with the love he shone over Idunn.  
  
 _”Don't cry for your love, cry tears of joy_ _  
 _Because  you're alive__ ”  
  
Balder hummed, his voice going from high to low

 _”Cradled in love_ ”

He kept on humming, kept his eyes closed, his head tilted until the final note on his lute stopped and his voice faded.

Not a single person stood, who hadn’t a tear in their eye and when Balder looked up, it was to see Idunn run towards her and leap into his arms.

They kissed for a long moment, making everyone coo at them, before they separated.

“That was…” Idunn began.

But Balder rested a finger on her lips.

“I’m not finished”

Idunn blinked, swallowing nervously, thinking lost to her.

Balder raised his gaze to where his mother sat, wiping her eyes.

She gave him a nod and Balder got his strength.

And then, looking back down at Idunn, Balder did one thing no one expected.

He got down on one knee before Idunn.

The gasp that erupted from Idunn was loud in the shocked and awed reaction of the crowd.

Loki’s snatched Thor’s hand, his eyes fixed ahead, his heart beating in his chest.

Thor just gaped.

“Idunn…” Balder said, looking up at her.

He held one hand and the other was clenched over her heart as she shook her head in shock, a huge smile upon her face and tears in her eyes.

“Miracle Maiden of apples of gold” Balder said “healer, goddess, saint and savior.”

He took a deep breath “Will you do me the honor…”

Loki’s hand squeezed Thor’s tightly.

“Or accepting my hand in marriage?”

A choked sob escaped someone and a stress came over everyone.

_What if she said no?_

But Idunn smiled and nodded “Yes, a thousand, thousand times yes”

Screams and cheers erupted, shaking the room, vibrating through everyone, marking them with their happiness as they clapped and wiped tears and cheered for their first prince.

Idunn leapt at Balder and Loki threw himself into Thor’s arms with a happy shout and laughter.

Thor spun him around before he looked at him.

“What has you so happy?” he laughed

Loki sniggered, waved to Idunn as Balder placed his ring on her finger.

“I would have killed her if she said no”

Thor blinked then burst into laughter, embracing Loki to him and kissing is hair while he waited to congratulate his brother.

He hoped it would mend things between them, he feared it wouldn’t.

But then, while everyone rushed to him, Balder met Thor’s eye.

Thor froze in dread a moment.

But Balder smiled and nodded to him and Thor felt a huge weight lift off his shoulders.

Things would be alright, he knew it.

***

When Loki came out of the bath, having been cleaned and scrubbed until he was satisfied, he realized he was alone.

He blinked, looking around for his husband.

“Thor?” his voice carried out in the room but only Hela responded.

Loki frowned and walked on, bare foot and wary.

“I swear to the norns, Thor, that if you are trying to frighten me, it’s not working”

The room was dark, so it was working.

“And it doesn’t make up for pouring ale all over me while I congratulated Balder”

No response.

Loki licked his dry lips “Thor?”

He jumped violently when he heard movement downstairs and padded over, waving a hand to light the rooms.

They were empty.

“Thor, this isn’t funny, now come out”

Loki heard movement from behind him and relaxed a little.

“Thor, you stupid idiot, you …”

Loki broke off, horror paling his skin when he saw Byleistr standing behind him at the balcony entrance.

Thor was bound and gagged in his arms, an ice blade held to his throat.

“One sound” Byleistr rasped “And I kill him right here”

Loki placed a hand over his mouth, shaking as he looked from his brother to Thor.

“Understand?”

Loki nodded.

“Good” Byleistr growled, coming forward, dragging Thor with him.

Loki retreated, looking at Thor’s eyes, then at his brother.

“I just want to talk” Byleistr said, backing Loki up further “to the brother that …”

He broke off, frowning, blinking at Loki.

Something was wrong.

Something was happening to him.

It felt like someone was slowly heating his skin and it took him a moment to realize it was Loki.

He looked at him in disbelief and furrowed his brow when he saw the fury behind Loki’s eyes.

Fury, not fear.

And Byleistr would have been lying if he said he wasn’t shocked.

He opened his mouth to speak but Loki cut him off.

“Let. Him. Go” Loki rasped, glaring at his brother “Now”

Byleistr glared right back “You dare to order …”

“I do!” Loki shouted, startling Hela and Thor alike “now release him!”

“Or what?” Byleistr countered “You’ll kill me? You already did that, you little runt, it didn’t work that time, it won’t work again! Now do as I say or…”

“Or you’ll what?” Loki asked, giving his arm a pointed look.

Byleistr looked down and saw, to his horror, that his blade had melted.

A moment later, Thor was snatched from his grasp and pulled towards Loki, who shielded him.

“I thought I killed you once” Loki told him, advancing on him “I am done with my mourning and regret. I will not hesitate to kill you now, kill you for real and watch you die. How _dare_ you think of harming him!?”

Byleistr gaped, not used to seeing this side of Loki.

He didn’t know what to make of this hellion.

He looked behind him, at the balcony, at the darkness he’d used to make his way up here and found it working _against_ him now.

He wanted to have his vengeance upon the runt.

Now, he didn’t know what do to.

“You little think you are so strong?” Byleistr asked “I’ll have you plead, I’ll have you plead for mercy just like I had father begging those dogs as they ripped him apart”

Loki froze, the color leaving his face “What?”

“Who do you think killed him?” Byleistr asked, delighting in the pain on Loki’s face “It wasn’t an accident that happened, I was the one who set them on him. I was the one who obeyed Farbauti and I was the one that stood beside him as he died. You think you will win because you will kill me, you wont. I won years ago, you little brat! Because I hurt you, made you dependant on me, and I can do it again! I will have you by the neck soon enough, you little monster, and when I do, I will break you in half because you deserve no mercy from me!”

Loki gave a wordless yell and lunged.

Thor screamed after him as Loki tackled his brother in a fit of rage and grief alike.

His eyes widened and he thrashed against his bindings as both brothers stumbled back, Loki’s magic propelling them as they hit the barrier of the balcony…

…and toppled over the edge.

***

Farbauti looked up when Bragi entered the room.

He smiled when he saw what he held in his hands.

Byleistr’s head.

The blood was caked where his neck used to be attached to his body and his eyes were shut in a grotesque imitation on sleep.

Farbauti scoffed, no hint of remorse around him.

“Who did this?”

“I did” Bragi said.

Farbauti raised his brows, silently asking for an explanation.

“The runt managed to throw him off their balcony. My half brother caught his leg and saved him.” Bragi said “Byleistr hung from Loki’s arms, intending on saving himself or taking Loki with him as he died. I couldn’t allow him to take your vengeance”

Farbauti tried not to be impressed “Then?”

“Loki magicked himself away and Byleisrt fell” Bragi said “I pretended as though he had attacked me and sliced his head off before he pushed himself off the ground”

“Convenient”

“They mourn for Loki’s father”

Farbauti blinked in surprise, faltering at his name “What?”

“They mourn him” Bragi repeated “they have a service, a tribute for him. lighting an empty boat on fire and sailing it till it drowns.”

Farbauti didn’t expect this “And?”

“And it will be open space” Bragi said “I could capture him easily and bring him here”

Farbauti blinked and shook his head “Nay, I have another plan”

Bragi waited

“Bring Thor to me, instead.”


	30. Sacrifice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There has to be an End

Thor had lost all sense the moment he saw Loki fall off their balcony, after tackling his own brother in a rage he didn’t know Loki was capable of and a yell of pure fury that shook Thor to the core.

He saw it as though time had slowed, saw the leap Loki gave, saw Byleistr lose his balance and he saw both of them topple over, Loki not even giving him a chance as he leap so easily to his death.

And how Thor had torn through his gags and binds, he would never know, he could not recall.

All he knew was a blur of colors and his own body slamming down on the marble, half off the broken banister the brothers had broken through and holding onto the sturdiest looking piece of concrete as he grabbed Loki’s ankle.

Thor yelled in agony as his muscles were stretched, burning when the combined weight of Loki and his brother pulled him apart.

Loki hung in the middle, crying out in pain when he saw was pulled as well, hanging upside down, looking down at his brother as he held Loki’s arm firmly, keeping him from falling.

Byleistr looked up at him and Loki’s face contorted in anger.

Years of rage, grief, anger resentment and _pain_ bloomed and flourished in him as he looked upon the man that had murdered his father.

Laufey didn’t die, he was murdered.

And the sick minded killer had kept Loki with him, used him as a tool and made Loki dependant on him.  
It became enough for Loki to lose what feeble hold he had on his control.

He wanted answers.

Loki snarled at him “How could you!? He was my father!”

Byleistr growled at him in return “He was denying me everything! I was supposed to sit on the throne!”

“Is that all you care about!?” Loki _screamed_ at him “Is the throne all that matters to you!? Do our lives mean so little? We were your family! You were my brother, I looked up to you!”

“I was the rightful heir!” Byleistr yelled back “Father was doing…!”

“Don’t you _dare_ call him that!” Loki shrieked “Don’t you dare call him that, you murderer! You heartless bastard, he was my Father! I loved him, he was my world! How could you do this to me!?”

Byleistr stared at him.

“I had no one but him!” Loki said, tears forming in his eyes “He was my world! He was the only one that cared for me and you took him away! You sadist, bastard, murderer, what did I ever do to you!? Why couldn’t you have smothered me in the crib, if you hated me so much!?”

Byleistr blinked

“I hate you!” Loki screamed at him “I hate you, Byleistr, I hate you! I would kill you a thousand times if I could because I hate you so much it burns my soul!”

Byleist had _never_ seen this side of Loki, never heard the words Loki said, he didn’t think he would ever hear them.

But here they were, spoken out in sheer hate.

And for the first time, Byleistr thought that maybe, he had chosen the wrong thing to go after.

His family was gone.

His brother was dead.

His father was dead.

He’d killed his own dam.

And now the youngest, his Loki, the brother he’d taken care of, raised single handedly was …

Byleistr looked up at Loki’s angry, crying face.

“You hate me?” he whispered.

Loki scowled at him, his lips pulled back in a snarl he’d never seen his little brother in.

“With _everything_ I am, Byliestr” Loki told him “With everything I am, I loathe you and cherish the day I see you dead”

The near whisper was louder than Loki’s screams had been and it was heard, going straight into Byleistr’s long dead heart.

He looked up at Loki, as he hung upside down, with the man who loved him more than his own life, hanging on to them both as he held onto Loki, then he looked at Loki’s arm, the one stretched by his own weight as Byleistr kept himself alive.

Alive for what?

Loathing, hate, the suddenly rising guilt that threatened to kill him sooner than any disease he knew of.

His mouth parted slightly and he looked into Loki’s watery eyes.

He saw the truth there, the truth about how Loki did truly want him dead.

And the last of his family disowned him, right before his eyes, held back only by his lover.

Byleistr blinked, and two thick tears fell down his face. He didn’t know why.

He swallowed loudly “I could have done it. I could have done it for us, for Father…”

Loki’s mouth firmed and he gave him a disappointed, grief stricken angry glare.

“No, Byleistr”

Byleistr looked at him and blinked slowly, suddenly realizing that he was dead.

He truly was dead, Loki had gotten his wish.

He gave his brother a smile, a genuine smile that one sibling gave to another, one that showed Loki, if only for a moment, the pride held in Byleistr’s gaze.

And suddenly Loki knew what Byleistr was about to do.

Loki paled, his mouth parting to stop Byleistr.

But…

Byleistr let him go, slipping away from Loki to certain death.

Loki’s screamed and clawed the air as he tried to get another hold on Byleistr as he fell, his green gaze shocked, his face horrified as he saw Byleistr fall farther and farther away from him, his eyes peaceful, his face calm.

“No!” 

Loki’s voice carried out and he vanished from sight hoping to get to Byleistr before he hit the ground.

But he’s forgotten Thor.

In his rage and horror, he had forgotten his lover and when he couldn’t teleport two people _and_ the life inside him, his magic forbade the travel.

He was pulled back by his ankle, pulled to safety and pulled onto the balcony where Thor yanked him into his arms, holding onto him like something he would never let go.

And down below, Loki heard the hideous crunch that told him he’d lost his brother.

A moment after that, Loki’s heart caught up with him and it beat so heavily in his ears that he couldn’t hear anything.

He couldn’t hear anything other than his own words, his brother’s confession and the distant crunch that seemed to chill his bones and sear his soul.

Byleistr was dead.

***

The next day Thor wasn’t talking to him.

Last night, after Loki had gained enough coherence, he had run down stairs, hair flying, breath ragged, to see his brother, to see the truth before his own eyes.

The stairs were never ending and by the time Loki arrived, they were placing a black cloth over his brother’s body.

There was blood everywhere and it was only when Loki asked that they revealed that someone had lopped his head off and taken it with them.

Loki had gasped, his hands going over his mouth as he listened.

He had been alive, they told him, crippled and dying, but still alive when they did this to him.

Loki had never been as glad as he was then, the moment he felt Thor’s arms around him.

Byleistr had taken everything from him; but he’d been his brother.

And though Loki was – relieved – he didn’t want a death this bad for the Jotun that had raised him.

He heard someone coming over, he heard his name being called.

He could smell Frigga’s perfume and heard Odin’s gruff voice.

Then he had been taken away, Frigga’s soft hands guiding him away from Thor, leading him up the stairs as he stared listlessly forward.

He recalled Frigga setting up her divan for him again and he remembered her telling him to stay here, for her if nothing else.

Thor, Odin and Balder wouldn’t be returning tonight, she said.

They had things to take care of.

Loki had nodded, though he barely heard the rest and let her lay him down once more.

She didn’t sing to him this time, keeping in mind the tragedy, but she kept brushing his hair back and talking to him.

He talked to him about his future, about the baby, about names, about the life he would live, would Loki teach him or her magic or would Thor make a little warrior?

She talked for a long time and Loki felt relaxed enough to close his eyes.

And a magic assisted moment later, he’d fallen asleep.

That morning, a funeral had been arranged.

No one in Asgard was told of Bylsitr’s death, Odin feared desecration of the body, but the family members and any one of the delegates that wished to come forward.

It was a surprisingly large turnout; Laufey had been a good man.

They came out of respect for him.

Loki stood before the closed casket, dressed in black, complete with black gloves and a hood he’d pulled over his head to hide as much of his face as he could.

Thor was dressed similarly, his hood pulled back as he stared, respectfully, at the casket they were going to load into a ship to burn at sea.

Asgard was told the lie about a tribute to Laufey.

These people knew better and they followed the gathering as they led the casket forward.  
In the streets, they were looked at and talked about.

Loki, at the head of the group, ignored them all, kept his gaze on the ground.

His friends from the brothel tried to gain his attention, to give him their condolences and tell him that what they had seen of his father, they had known he was a good hearted man.

But Loki didn’t look up.

His mouth was a firm line and he walked over to place a hand on the man that carried the front of the casket.

The man nodded to him and moved away, letting Loki carry his brother to the sea.

There was a murmur about this, but no one stopped him and they went on without incident to the ship that awaited Byleistr.

Loki set it down and waited for the others to leave before he placed a gloved hand on the smooth wood of his brother’s coffin and sighed.

“I mourned” he told him “I mourned for you once, I won’t do it again.”

He muttered a prayer, old and Jotun, one they said when a loved one passed.

And Loki _had_ loved Byleistr once.

When he was all Loki had.

Now he had Thor and he said the prayers only because he wasn’t a monster.

He patted the coffin twice before he stepped back, climbing off the ship and walking back.

Walked back to the only family he had left.

He took his position besides Thor and watched.

There were cries of effort, orders of those that set the ship to sail forth.

The splash of the ship descending into the waters was loud and Loki watched it sail away before he was presented with the bow and arrow.

He took them, lit the end of the arrow by magic and took aim.

Loki closed one eye, whispering the last thing he wanted his brother to know.

“I wish you peace, from the bottom of my heart”

Loki let the arrow slip into the air.

It swooped from above, falling on the coffin.

A moment later, it was set ablaze and it sailed like a single lantern floating above the water.

The people behind him started to leave but Loki stayed.

He stayed and he watched the ship break and sink, his brother’s ashes rise to the skies.

Thor stayed with him and though he spoke not a word, Loki could sense it.

The skies were rumbling with distant thunder.

Which was why Loki was here, now, looking at Thor as he pulled off his black cloak and opened the wardrobe to hang it inside.

Loki, dressed as he had been all day, sighed as he stood a little distance away, looking at Thor’s back.

“Would you at least look at me?” he asked softly

Thor didn’t reply. His eyes were fixed on his task as he folded the cloak to place it inside.

Loki sighed loudly “Thor?”

He was ignored again and he felt his heart hurt at the fact.

Loki swallowed loudly “Thor, please”

Thor exhaled loudly and turned to look at him, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring at Loki.

Loki licked his dry lips and sighed, his face becoming pained.

“I’m sorry” Loki said “I shouldn’t … shouldn’t have done that, it was stupid”

Thor didn’t speak 

“I know how much you want this child and jumping off like I did was…”

“Is that what you think I’m angry about?”

Loki blinked when Thor spoke to him for the first time that day.

The question surprised him and Loki frowned a little.

“Well, yes”

Thor scoffed and shook his head in mild disbelief, his mouth curled into a near snarl.

“You are so stupid”

Loki stared at him in incredulity “W – what?”

“I said, you are stupid!” Thor glared, moving forward “Has becoming pregnant disabled your brain!?’

Loki flinched, backing up and gasping when Thor caught him before he got too far and grabbed his arms roughly.

Thunder rumbled in the distance, lightning seemed to shine in Thor’s very eyes as he glared upon Loki in barely suppressed rage. 

“Does your own life mean nothing to you!?” Thor shook him angrily “Would you go to your death so easily!? Have you lost your mind!?”

Loki anchored himself as Thor shook him almost violently, then inhaled sharply as Thor released one arm.

“Don’t you know my life is tied to yours!?” Thor yelled.

Then he hit Loki on the head, not too hard, just enough to jolt, and kept hitting him with every yelled word he spoke.

“Don’t you know I would have died with you, you stupid bastard!”

Loki cried out, raised his hand as Thor hit him again and again as he yelled at him, shook him, growled at him and kept on yelling!

“How dare you think this is about the child, I would lose it rather than you, fool!” he hit Loki again “How dare you jump after him like that!?”

“Stop!” Loki cried, pleading and falling on his knees “Thor, stop it!”

Thor heard him and stopped, looking at Loki as he cried before falling to his knees himself and pulling Loki into his arms.

“You bloody fool!” Thor snapped, holding Loki close as he cried into his shoulder “I am nothing without you, not even an empty shell. How could you do this to me? Have you no mercy?”

Loki wept loudly, his face in his hands as he cried on Thor’s shoulder.

“I gave up everything for you” Thor told him “Does that mean nothing? Would you leave me wondering what I did wrong? I didn’t think I would ever know such horror as the one you put me through tonight, you stupid, stupid man”

Loki trembled as he wept against him and Thor pulled him closer, resting a hand behind his head and kissing his shoulder.

Thor closed his eyes and calmed his beating heart, trying to forget seeing Loki dive down into an abyss, reassuring himself that Loki was right there, with him, in his arms before he closed his eyes and rested his jaw on Loki’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry” he whispered to Loki as the other continued to cry.

Thor had scared him, he realized, and he sighed “I’m sorry”

He ran his free hand up and down Loki’s back, apologizing repeatedly and rubbing his back as Loki sobbed.

But Loki had stopped his heart; and that was something Thor didn’t want to experience again.

“I’m sorry”

***

They ordered dinner to be taken in their rooms.

It had been a long time and they locked the doors, just to keep to themselves.

Hela was there and Loki had half a mind to leave her out in the hall because she kept wanting attention when he didn’t have any to spare for her.

They were sitting on the floor, Thor lay flat on his back with his head in Loki’s lap and Loki fed him bits of food on the table beside them.

Loki hissed at Hela when she arrived, wanting to intrude.

“Oh, get off!” he snarled, pushing her off Thor’s chest and glaring “Greedy monster”

Hela meowed and sat there, waiting while Thor laughed at Loki  and his attempts to gain them both privacy from the odd eyed creature.

“Forget it, my darling” Thor grabbed Loki’s hand and kissed it “she will not move until you feed her something”

Loki made a face at the witch cat.

“Well I can’t feed you” he told Hela “I’m feeding _this_ ”

He popped some bread into Thor’s awaiting mouth.

Thor hummed happily as he chewed before he chuckled “This? Since when did I become a _this_?”

Loki shrugged “When that gaping maw started eating. Honestly, how much have you had?”

“How much did you give me?” Thor asked, looking up at him.

“Well” Loki glanced at the table “I ordered us roast and that’s gone – I think you had most of the bones with the meat – cheese,  vegetable stew – which I finished, you had nothing to do with it – and two loaves of bread that are now…”

He popped the last of the bread between his lips and smiled down at Thor “Finished”

Thor beamed at him, then pursed his lips.

Loki rolled his eyes before he swallowed and gave Thor an upside down kiss.

His hands came over to rest on both sides of Thor’s face, gently stroking his cheeks with his thumbs as they kissed.

Hela meowed and Loki gave her a glare without breaking the kiss off, prompting Thor to laugh.

“What?” Loki asked, lifting his head a little.

“Nothing” Thor placed a hand behind Loki’s neck and brought him back within kissing range “Nothing at all”

Loki closed his eyes and grabbed Thor’s head between his hands, tracing him as Thor kissed him.

A knock sounded on the door, distantly placed and somber. 

Loki broke off the kiss and sat up, immediately feeling something was wrong.

No one had announced themselves.

Thor thought the same, apparently, because he sat up, his gaze fixed on the door.

“Who is it?” he called loudly.

It was a warning and those who were wise would have heard it for the death call it was.

Loki waited, listened, hoped it was a friend; he’d had enough shocks to last him a life time.

“It’s Bragi” 

They both released a sigh of relief and looked at each other with a short laugh.

Shaking his head, Thor stood and went to open the doors.

“I swear, lover, this was far too tense”

Loki hummed, more interested in the leftover food and searching for it on the platter as he ate. 

Thor opened the door and grinned at Bragi “Brother!”

Bragi gave him a curt nod and walked in.

“Is … uh…Loki here?”

“Aye” Thor closed the door “right up ahead, a scavenger resting upon my table”

Loki made a face at him, and beamed at Bragi.

“Mentor”

Bragi blinked before he nodded his head “Loki, do you … I went to the library and they said you took the scroll about Alfhiem trades. I wanted to see something in it. Do you still have it?”

“Yes” Loki said, standing up and licking sauce off his fingers “I’ll wash my hands and be right back”

“Thank you”

Loki frowned a little, giving Bragi a look over his shoulder.

They man had always been a little – too professional, but ever since his return, he had been even more distant.

Even when they trained, he was – colder.

Loki shrugged it off most of the time, but something was off today, it didn’t feel right.

He walked up the stairs into the study, looking for the scroll.

Downstairs, Thor watched Loki go, wondering how he would get over the awkwardness of talking to Bragi when he was unapproachable.

“So, I was thinking…” Thor turned to him.

From beside him, Bragi struck, suddenly and without warning.

He moved so fast Thor didn’t even know what happened until he felt the blow across his jaw that sent him sailing aside.

Something crashed.

Loki looked up from his search and ran back, _knowing_ things were going wrong.

He arrived at the balcony and held it in his pale hands when he saw Bragi approach Thor, who lay barely conscious on the marble.

“No!” Loki shouted, running for the stairs.

Thor heard someone calling for him and lifted his head, but at that moment, someone grabbed his wrist and he felt power surging around them.

“Bragi, no!” Loki yelled, running forward and grabbing Bragi’s arm.

He screamed a moment later when magic, _black burning magic_ , poured from Bragi, stinging and hurting Loki’s hands until he lost his hold and fell on his back.

He felt the magic whirl around, get powerful as a portal opened somewhere.

He sat up, ready to lunge, but in that moment, in that small second, the second he remained unsure of whether he should attack or halt, he lost him.

Bragi didn’t even turn to look at him as he dragged Thor away, the black magic repelling Loki for the miniscule moment he needed to make his plan work.

His hand holding Thor’s wrist in a vice like grip, Bragi took Thor away.

Away from Loki, away from Asgard and into the frozen depths of Jotunhiem.

***

There was pain.

There was always pain when ice was concerned, pain and trauma.

And fear.

Fear of being buried in the snow again and that, more than anything else, made Thor struggle.

He whined, his head still _throbbing_ from the painful blow he’d received, the world still hid behind a sheet of stars as he was carried forward, resting upon the shoulder of his once brother as Bragi carried him forward, trudging through the ice and snow, taking him deep, deep into the darkness.

He groaned in protest once, but he felt so weak that his voice barely made it to his own ears.

Bragi didn’t hear him, he continued on, leaving Thor to wonder what the hell was going on.

He might have blacked out, he might have slept, but Thor remembered closing his eyes.

And when he woke, he was in a cave, well lit.

And he wasn’t alone.

“Well done, Asgardian, I’m impressed”

Thor knew that voice.

It was like ice, crackling and fatal and he jerked within Bragi’s grasp, trying to move, to hurt or run.

Whichever came first, Thor didn’t care.

But nothing happened because Bragi tightened his grip on Thor as he carried him like a sack to the side and tossed him carelessly into an ice cell, slamming the door shut and releasing fluffy snow from the ceiling to fall on Thor’s head.

Then Farbauti came into view and pushed Bragi aside, letting the man stumble before he came to crouch before Thor, looking at him.

“The Odinson” he rasped, his crimson eyes slightly wild “Look at him, he’s stunning”

Thor groaned and pulled back, sliding away from this monster.

Thor wasn’t stupid, he knew he didn’t have Mjolnir, he wasn’t at his full strength, it would be wise to appear meek for now.

“No wonder my betrothed fell for him so”

Thor’s brow furrowed. 

Betrothed?

Farbauti seemed to notice his confusion and smiled in glee.

“Oh, you didn’t know?” he chuckled, sitting down and waving something at him.

Thor gasped as, a moment later, he felt his strength return to him. He blinked a few times to get rid of his disorientation before he slowly forced himself to sit up and looked Farbauti.

The Jotun was truly fearsome; huge, lean, lethal and a hint of insanity about his eyes.

He watched Thor like he was some sort of delicacy, running his crimson gaze from toe to top, licking his lips as his hands played with a vial secured around his thick neck with a string.

“Loki was mine, you know” Farbauti told him “before his brother sold him off, he was mine. We were to be wed when he came of age, but…”

Farbauti sighed “He ran. He was the only thing I had of my Laufey, I wanted to keep him, I wanted to have him.”

Bragi shifted his weight behind him, expressionless and cold.

“Everything was going to plan until that _brat_ decided to run away” Farbauti told Thor “I was supposed to get him, he was _mine_!”

Thor’s lips curled into a snarl, but he held his tongue.

“Then he was given away, bartered for peace to a man who knew nothing about him” Farbauti looked

Thor in the eyes “I love him, you know. As twisted as everyone says I am, my love for him is…”

“Why are you telling me this?” Thor asked scornfully “If you wish to have a crueler death than I already have planned for you, by all means, continue. But if you have even the slightest hope of mercy from me, you will stop talking this instant. I know what you did to Loki and I can’t _wait_ for you to pay for it.”

Farbauti listened to him, slowly broadening his smile with each rasped word, each whispered syllable.

His heart raced with excitement as he looked upon Loki’s stunning husband.

“Well, who am I to get in the way of your vengeance, then?”

Thor knew there was something wrong, but the moment the cage was opened, the moment he was _free_ he couldn’t think of anything else other than what this monster had done to Loki and how he would pay for it.

Thor should have known better.

Because the moment he stepped out of the cage, unprepared, Farbauti struck.

He lashed out with a large hand, propelled by the force of a full grown Jotun, smashing his ribs upon contact and sending Thor flying to the other side of the room where he crashed against the wall and fell to the floor with a groan.

Farbauti straightened to his full height and approached Thor slowly.

“I said” Farbauti hissed “Who am I to get in the way of your vengeance?”

Thor knew his ribs were broken, when he tried to slide away, he felt them give and cried out in pain.

Tears came into his eyes as he looked at Bragi, silently pleading for his brother to help.

But Bragi stood, unresponsive.

Thor heard Farbauti’s laughter and a moment later, he felt his bones start to break, snapping, cracking, breaking and shredding clear through his flesh and skin.

And Thor screamed.

Farbauti looked down at him, a sneer in place as he increased the pressure, felt the bones break beneath his feet and felt it tear skin to cut through, slicing the prince of Asgard until he could scream no more. 

***   

Considering the fact that he is a force of a nature, a fearsome being, capable of destroying everything and possessed a power unlike any other, it was very easy for Loki to find him.

Heimdall had told them, the group Loki had gathered to help him rescue Thor, that he’d lose sight of him.

And _that_ more than anything else, worried Loki to the point where he wanted to cry.

Frigga had begged him to stay, to not go out in his condition, but there was no stopping him.

He wanted to go and he was going _now_.

And since he wasn’t stopping, Odin had sent Balder, Fandral, Hogun and Sif with him.

They were the only ones prepared enough and ready in the short time Loki gave them.

He’d donned armor no one had seen before and walked ahead, a vision in black.

Asking Heimdall to send them to the last point he’d seen Thor, Loki had cleared his mind of any and everything.

No possibility bloomed, nothing.

He was going to find Thor and bring him back.

That was it.

So he’d stood, resolve unwavering, as the light took them to the ice and snow.

Now, however, Loki was getting frantic.

Thor’s aura, the life Loki had attached his magic to was getting dimmer and Loki wished, _desperately_ that Thor was only getting farther away.

Because the other possibility, the very one he didn’t want to think about, was becoming stronger than his will to keep it at bay.

He saw the cave up ahead, a dark cavern, that promised so life, and his heart began to race.

His steps slowed and Balder over took him, unable to sense the life and therefore, unable to falter.

He leads the others inside, letting Loki take his time, not out of callousness, no, but consideration.

He saw tracks coming in, he didn’t see them go out, so Balder prepared himself for a sight not unlike the one he’d seen when he’d found Thor buried in the snow.

His feet crunched the snow and small stones inside as he went deeper and deeper.

It was only when the scent of blood hit him, that Balder knew.

No amount of preparation could keep his heart from stopping when he saw the sight before him.

Outside, Loki had gained enough ground to place himself a few feet from the rest, praying silently for Thor.

So when Balder yelled, Loki knew something was wrong.

He sprinted forward, into the twisting, turning tunnel until he found them.

Sif and Hogun obstructed his view for a moment, and Loki could have blessed them for it, until Loki passed them.

Balder was crouched down, Fandral beside him as they looked down at the bloody, broken figure, that was Thor.

“No!” Balder looked at him, tears in his eyes “Don’t let Loki come here, don’t!”

Sif turned to hold Loki, but it was too late.

He was already running.

“No!” Loki gasped, feeling his knees go out and he fell on them “no!”

Thor’s blood.

There was Thor’s blood everywhere and Loki fell on his hands, right into it, looking down and crying out.

It was cold, why was his blood cold!?

He couldn’t hear, things were moving far too slowly.

“Get him out of here!”

Loki felt someone grab his shoulders and he shrugged them off, crawling forwards on his hands and knees.

A shrill, desperate sound filled the cavern, hitting Loki’s ears and making him wonder what it was.

It was only when he dragged himself forward, that he realized it was him.

He was screaming.

“No!” Loki screamed, grabbed Thor’s shoulders and cradled his torso against him “No, no no _no!_ ”

Balder was taken aside, holding onto the arm Sif had placed on his shoulder, his eyes focused on Thor.

His legs, his back, his arms – broken.

His gut split open so wide Balder could _see_ his insides.

He gave a shredded sob and turned away; Sif held him close, her watery eyes going to Fandral.

Loki, drenched in Thor’s blood, slid back, his face determined.

He cradled something in his hands, building it up slowly, making it glow, ready to be placed upon Thor.

Balder slowly lifted his head and looked at the spell Loki had in his hands.

Loki ignored them all, spreading his hands to make the spell larger, to heal Thor fully.

He gasped and jolted when it vanished from his hands.

His vision blurred a moment before he shook his head and tried again.

Balder looked at him, confused before he realized what was wrong.

Loki growled, tears slipping down his cheeks as he sniffed and tried again, yelling in rage when it vanished again.

“What’s happening!?” he nearly screamed.

“Father’s spell” Balder whispered “Mother said he placed a charm on you to protect the baby, it’s … the spell requires too much power, Loki…”

Loki looked at him with tormented eyes.

“You can’t do it”

Loki shook his head “No, I refuse to accept that. I will do it, I will heal him!”

He tried it again and screamed when it didn’t happen.

“Come on!” Loki yelled, looking at his hands “Work!”

He could sense Thor had life in him, still, he wouldn’t need that much power.

He sobbed in frustration when it failed another time, the room beginning to spin.

“No!” he screamed, grabbing his hair in his fists “I will not … I will not give up!”

He crawled back to Thor and shook him by the shoulders.

“I know you can hear me” he said, tears falling freely now “And … and I need you to say something, to me, say anything”

He licked his lips and moved over, looking at Thor’s face, his closed eyes and pale lips.

“Tell me to make this work, Thor, please I need… I need you to speak to me, tell me what to do!”

Hogun lowered his head, looking at the ground as Loki shook Thor gently, as though he was merely waking him from sleep.

“Tell me I’m beautiful” he told Thor, his voice breaking “Tell me I’m important to you, call me Beloved. Speak to me, Thor, please…”

His voice and heart shattered.

“Tell me you will take me to Alfhiem, to … to the deposits of magic you told me of” Loki sobbed, shaking Thor again “Just say something, please, Thor…”

He sobbed and lowered his head to Thor’s.

“You promised you will never let me go” Loki told him “Do you remember that? I … I need you to remember that right now, Thor, I need you to say it to me”

There was no response.

There was a sob from behind him but Loki ignored it, shaking Thor again.

“You can’t leave me” he said, shaking him harder “Thor, you can’t leave us! I can’t raise a child on my own, you promised me you will help! I’ll need you to wake up at night and feed our child, and rock it and sing to it and soothe it, Thor, please!”

Thor didn’t move.

“Thor!” Loki screamed, shattering completely “Thor, come back to me, come back to me!”

Loki doubled over with a sobbing scream and felt two warm arms around him.

He smelled Frigga’s perfume and a moment later, he realized it was _her_ that was holding him.

She was pulling him back and _Odin_ , Odin was running towards his fallen child.

“Thor!” Loki screamed, pulling against Frigga “Come back! Come back, please, I can’t survive without you!”

Frigga turned him and pulled him into her arms and Loki held her close.

He sobbed into her shoulder, cursing himself.

“I couldn’t help him!” he told her “I couldn’t help him!”

“Hush, my child” she stroked his head, thick tears falling from her own eyes as she watched her husband work on her boy “He’s going to be fine”

Odin’s magic was strong.

He lifted a hand, a small spell, blue and soothing, held within and lowered it to Thor’s chest.

A moment later, it began to glow, and a moment after _that_ the whole room turned so bright everyone had to shield their eyes.

It melted nothing, brightened everything and even from the distance, so far off it was only a dot on the horizon, Farbauti saw it.

He snarled, looked at his companion, then turned back.

It was gone by then and Farbauti knew.

Bragi had failed.

***

Thor knew what had happened.

He knew he had been a step away from death, he knew that Farbauti had stepped on him, crushed him beneath his foot like an insect and ordered Bragi to gut him.

He’d screamed so loud his throat had started to burn, then he’d lost consciousness.

He’d awoken when cool, blessed hands touched him and he heard Loki’s voice.

He didn’t hear what he said, he just heard his voice.

It was beautiful, like the winds that causes waves to move, leaves to dance and sighs of relief to be released. It was a song, a movement, a welcome haven.

And Thor had wanted to reply to it, ask it to heal his wounds, to bring him back where he belonged.

But he couldn’t move.

He couldn’t even move his lips or open his eyes.

It was exhausting to breathe, no matter how much he wanted to answer back, to wail back at Loki’s call, he couldn’t, he was so tired.

So he rested a while, walked right into the darkness that awaited him and when he woke …

He was fine.

Not a scar on him, not a hair out of place.

When he’d opened his eyes, he’d seen his family before him.

They all leapt at him, Balder in the lead.

He fell into Thor’s arms, pleading, begging forgiveness and crying, insulting, yelling and soothing all at the same time.

Frigga had been a degree calmer, having enough faith in her husband’s ability to know that he would make things alright.

Odin had smacked his head, called him an idiot, then kissed his forehead.

And Thor knew he had shed tears because his father’s eye was red and puffy.

He’d talked with them, gained enough answers to keep him satisfied before he stood.

No hint of disorientation about him, Thor nodded to his family before telling them he needed to see the one person he was _dying_ to.

They didn’t appreciate the joke.

Thor was shooed out and he jogged to the royal apartments, heading to his chambers.

His brother had told him that’s where Loki was and he walked in without knocking.

Loki was nowhere in sight.

Thor felt dismayed a moment before he told himself that he should probably check here properly before leaving.

He shut the doors and walked forward, looking out on the balcony before climbing the stairs.

His mouth was open on a call but it died on his lips when he saw Loki in bed.

He was sleeping on Thor’s side, curled up under the covers, one bare foot sticking out.

Hela was sleeping behind him on the bed.

Thor smiled softly and walked over, moving the cat to pull off the tunic the healers had placed on him and get in beside Loki.

Once comfortable, he pulled Loki back towards him, setting his jaw on Loki’s shoulder.

Loki hummed a little, turning in Thor’s embrace.

Thor looked at him, looked at Loki’s eyes as they slowly, fluttered, but didn’t open.

He was about to call to him, when Loki didn’t move for a long time, but Loki spoke.

“Is this a dream?” he whispered “because I’m afraid it is. That I will open my eyes and you will not be there anymore”

Thor blinked slowly and kissed his lips “It’s not a dream”

Loki didn’t open his eyes “I have been woken by phantom limbs for three nights now. I cry each time, you are never there to comfort me. Tell me I am dreaming and stop this cruelty, if you are planning it”

Thor felt his chest hurt “Three days?”

“And nights” Loki said, not looking “I have a child to think about, Thor, how could you do this to me?”

Thor pulled his lips inwards.

“I had to induce sleep” Loki told him, eyes still shut “and I had to charm myself against dreams because I kept seeing you like that. It isn’t going away”

“Then open your eyes”

“No” Loki shook his head “You’ll disappear. I’ll be in this room alone, talking to nothing and I’ll cry myself to sleep again”

“No” Thor insisted “You won’t, open your eyes”

“I slipped in your blood” Loki said “I felt it, cold and slick on my hands. I knew you had been lying there for so long, wondering where I had gone, why I wasn’t there with you”

Thor swallowed thickly.

He had thought that; once in the height of his despair, he had.

“Now I can’t get the image out of my head, I keep seeing you … dying before me.” Loki said “Do you know, I can’t make it go away”

“Open your eyes”

Loki’s lip quivered and he squeezed his eyes shut tighter “I can’t…!”

“Beloved” Thor kissed his mouth “Look at me”

Loki gasped and his eyes opened, focusing on Thor, looking into his cerulean gaze and blinking.

“It _is_ real!”

Thor was about to say something, something to tell Loki that yes, it was, when Loki threw his arms around Thor’s shoulders and smashed their mouths together.

***

Thor knew he was crazy.

His hands held Loki under the arms and he pressed him down into the mattress, their lips locked together in a passionate kiss.

Thor should be out trying to rescue his brother, but the only thing he could think of was the fact that he had come _so_ close to never seeing, touching or having Loki again!

Loki gasped when the kiss broke off, tipping his head back and fisting a hand in Thor’s hair when he began to mouth at the skin there.

“Please…” Loki pleaded, breathing heavily “I need… I need you”

Thor hummed in agreement and nibbled up Loki’ neck, to his jaw, kissing the edge and finally catching his mouth beneath his own, groaning loudly and pushing his tongue in through his lips.

He grabbed Loki by his thighs and pulled him close, lifting his head only to get rid of his tunic, then pull Loki’s off before kissing him again.

Loki wrapped his legs around Thor’s hips, pulling him close, his hands snaked to Thor’s back and he dug his nails into the muscles, making Thor groan into his mouth.

He kissed them, opening his mouth with his own, sliding his tongue in and kissing him so long they had to break off for breath. Thor pulled back, discarded their remaining clothes before pulling Loki back to him, sitting on his knees and pulling Loki into his lap.

He was so gentle, cradling the back of Loki’s head, craning his neck to kiss him as Loki’s hands fisted in his hair, angling his head the way he wanted to.

Thor’s other hand went behind Loki’s back, caging him against him.

Loki shifted his hands to Thor’s back and began to grind his hips forward against Thor’s arousal, giving them both much needed friction.

Loki gasped at the sensation, Thor groaned, pulling Loki’s head back by his hair and mouthing his long neck, pulling the flesh between his teeth and biting down enough to startle him.

Loki cried out softly and Thor shushed him.

Loki scratched Thor’s back and the man groaned, throwing Loki on the bed and flattening him under his massive weight, pushing the air out of Loki’s lungs.

Loki gasped loudly, then moaned as Thor began to grind their hips together.

He scratched Thor’s back again and Thor growled into his mouth, grinding their lengths together frantically. Loki moaned loudly, trying to match Thor’s movements but his hips were held down by Thor’s weight and they passion behind that kiss.

He felt Thor’s teeth nip his lip and he tasted blood, felt the sting and whimpered.

Thor licked it off and soothed him, being gentle and tender and so loving Loki would have died happy there and then.

Thor pulled back, licked his bloody, kiss swollen lips and lowered his head to Loki’s neck again, opening his mouth wide in large, hungry kisses.

Loki panted for breath, straining against Thor as he continued to suck on his neck. He dug his nails into Thor’s back, grinding against him, seeking more and more pleasure and he was so close!

He tightened his legs around Thor, pulling him closer, his toes and fingers curling in the pleasure, his mind blurring losing comprehension as he was lost.

Thor moved against him, bit down on his skin until he drew blood and Loki cried out. He moaned a moment later, arching as much as Thor’s weight allowed him to before he came over them both and felt limp.

Thor moved against him a few more times before his whole back went taut and he came with a loud growl, muffled against Loki’s neck.

He licked at the bruise he’s created on Loki’s neck, gaining a hum from his beloved.

They lay panting, looking at each other.

Thor smiled softly, raising his head and brushing back hair from Loki’s face, kissing his mouth.

Loki chuckled softly “Now don’t start that again”

Thor sniggered, kissed his cheek and rested his head on Loki’s chest.

He wanted to rest a while before reality crashed down on them.

***

Thor didn’t know how long he slept for, but when he opened his eyes, it was past midday and his eyes opened, it was to see Loki in full armor, one he had never seen before.

He lifted his head and he frowned when Loki turned “What…?”

Loki took a deep breath “That man gave up so much for us. We are not abandoning him. You are welcome to come with me, Balder already is. We do not need too many people, the three of us will be enough.”

Thor nodded slowly, not speaking.

Loki licked his lips and looked right into Thor’s eyes “I have been taught to fear him my whole life. But not anymore. He has already done the worst to me, I have overcome it. now I stand up against him”

“Loki…”

“You can’t stop me” Loki told him, clicking a buckle shut “My mind is made up, I am prepared.”

 Thor looked at him when Loki lifted his head proudly “Farbauti will die to tonight. I will end it”

Thor watched him carefully.

“Are you with me, or not?”

Thor didn’t like it but he didn’t like the idea of Loki going out alone even more, so he pushed aside the covers and stood.

He walked over and kissed Loki once.

“Give me a moment to change”

Loki nodded, keeping his expression stubborn and trying to be as brave as his father wanted him to be his whole life.

He saw Thor take his armor out and go to the wash room.

Agitated, and trying not to show his dismay at the short delay, Loki turned and paced downstairs, thinking of doing something with his hands while he waited for Thor.

He had just climbed down the stairs when he saw the doors open.

He looked and he blinked in surprise when he saw Odin coming in.

“All Father” Loki knelt before him, hand at his heart.

Odin smiled “No need for that, stand up”

Loki obeyed and looked at Odin’s face.

He looked – worried – and he was trying to hide it.

“You are going on a quest, I hear”

“Yes” Loki told him “To bring back Bragi.”

Odin hummed.

Loki felt a slight alarm within him. Thor he could easily disobey, but if Odin commanded it …

“All Father, with all due respect, I wish you wouldn’t stop me” 

Odin smiled and raised a hand to rest on Loki’s shoulder “I wouldn’t dream of it. I see something in you that I saw in my late friend, something I didn’t think I would see again”

Loki blinked, staring at him.

“You have the same soul your father had” Odin smiled “Brave, ambitious, noble …” he chuckled “and as stubborn as a mule when it came to something he truly wanted”

Loki smiled softly, uncertainly.

“I can imagine no one better to go and get my child back for me” Odin told Loki.

Then, to Loki’s shock, he grabbed both of Loki’s hands and kissed them in gratitude.

“You have saved my sons” Odin told him “You have brought Thor from darkness, you have given Balder the courage to gain his love and you have brought Bragi back to us.”

He set Loki’s hands against his chest and looked him in the eye.

“I’m so proud of you, Loki”

Loki realized there were tears in his eyes.

Before he knew what he did, he threw his arms around Odin’s shoulders and embraced him tightly.

Odin embraced him back and closed his eye “I owe you so much already, son, do this favor for me and I will give you anything you desire”

Loki tightened his arms around him and spoke without hesitation “One wish, one wish I have, that I want desperately to be granted”

“Name it” Odin said.

Loki closed his eyes “May I call you Father?”

Odin froze, simply froze at that request before he rubbed Loki’s back and nodded.

“I cannot think of a higher honor bestowed upon me, than you calling me someone you so cherished”

Loki fisted his hands in Odin’s cape and just … held him.

He never thought he would utter those words again.

“Thank you” he whispered, “thank you, thank you Father”

Odin licked his lips before he stroked Loki’s hair “It’s alright, son”

They remained like that for a long while before they heard Thor clear his throat and separated.

Loki turned back and smiled when he saw Thor in full armor.

Thor winked at him and tossed Mjolnir, catching it and showing off for Loki.

“Shall we?”

***

Jotunhiem was colder because they were anxious.

They had no clue where they would start, the adrenaline rushing from their system like water through raging streams.

They had their weapons, their runes, their bravery, but somehow, looking upon Jotunhiem’s capital without her castle was disconcerting.

The realm was truly lost.

Loki looked upon it with morbid wonder.

This used to be his home.

This was where he grew up and now …

He sighed, making the other two look over.

“Even after it’s all over” Loki said softly “Jotunhiem will never be the same again. She is broken, gone.”

Thor and Balder looked at each other, then back at Loki.

“This was my home” he said, looking at the expanse of rock and ice “This was where I lived and played…it’s all gone”

Balder bit his lips in guilt.

Loki exhaled, blinking “All of it”

Thor placed a hand on Loki’s arm “Loki, when this is over, I will personally oversee the construction of Jotunhiem, it will be better than before, I swear it”

“To what end?” Loki looked at him “The civil wars for the throne will still be here and it will be destroyed again. You would need a king you can trust and place him on the throne and that cant happen unless…”

Thor blinked when Loki broke off “Unless what?”

Loki looked him right in the eyes “Unless _I_ take the throne”

The thought stunned Balder and left Thor cold.

“W – what?” Thor stuttered

Loki shrugged “You as king of Asgard and I as king of Jotunhiem will ensure both peace and prosperity. You know I will not use the Casket for anything bad and I will know I have the support of Asgard”

“But …”

_You’ll leave me_

Thor wanted to say it out loud, clearly Balder knew because he stepped in.

“Let’s…” he came between them both “Focus. We need to keep our wits about us if we are going up against Farbauti”

“You’re right” Loki nodded.

Thor went after Loki when he walked ahead, his expression hurt and confused.

Balder thought about how best to make Thor realize that this was not the time for such things, that they needed to focus on saving Bragi.

He didn’t say anything, but he walked behind them both as Loki used his magic to try and find Bragi.

***

The mist and fog was making it worse.

He grit his teeth at the frozen lash he received, not giving Farbauti the satisfaction of hearing him scream.

Farbauti grinned “So stubborn, you are, Odinson, what have you to gain by denying me this?”

Bragi didn’t reply, because in that moment, when Farbauti laughed, Bragi saw the light of the bifrost.

Hope renewed within him when he realized his brothers had come for him.

He hissed at the next lash, arching as much as his bonds allowed him to.

He would keep this up, keep Farbauti distracted until Thor and Balder arrived.

Loki would be with them, no doubt, he never learned.

He prayed Odin had sent help with them, they wouldn’t be able to take on Farbauti alone.

Another lash and Bragi bit down on his tongue.

Or maybe they could, the Jotun was insane and that would prove lethal.

Bragi tensed at the next one when it tore out flesh.

He prayed they would forgive him for what he had done.

The next caught him by surprise and Bragi exhaled loudly.

“Well, that was a good sound as any, how many did you take? Forty?”

Bragi was trembling “eighty … seven”

Farbauti chuckled, “Very nice, let’s see how you do against this”

 _This_ turned out to be ice running down on the whip and Bragi swallowed.

Farbauti was cruel and he wished his brother’s would hurry when he lifted the whip.

A moment later, nothing happened and Bragi turned his head to see Farbauti looking out of the window.

He followed his gaze and paled.

He damned Loki for his magic when he saw three figures dotted on the horizon.

“Well, I’ll be” Farbauti chuckled and looked at Bragi “Looks like you have the chance to redeem yourself”

Bragi shook his head “No, please…”

But it was too late.

Farbauti was already touching the vial that held Amora’s magic and BRagi could feel himself cave under the blood magic again.

He screamed.

***

Loki knew it the moment he saw Bragi.

He stopped, his hands halting the other two “Something’s wrong”

A moment later, their world exploded.

***

Farbauti was ruthless.

He made straight for Loki.

***

Balder intercepted, tackling the Jotun and lifting his blade to sink into his cold heart.

Farbauti wacked him aside, throwing him into the ice and raised his ice blade to slice him in two.

He yelled when Thor hit him from behind, sending him face first into the ice.

***

Loki was the only one who could manage Bragi.

He matched him, move for move, ducked his lethal hits, blocked the ones intended to kill and hit back.

But Bragi wasn’t training him; he was trying to kill him.

His eyes were empty and no matter what Loki said, he wasn’t affected.

Loki dodged him, falling into the snow as Bragi lashed out with his foot, trying to kick his head.

He gasped and rolled aside when Bragi brought both his hands down on his head, wishing to crush him.

Leaping to his feet like he’d been taught, Loki finally had enough and kicked Bragi hard, in the middle, sending him flying back. 

Then he turned back and saw Farbauti about to attack Thor.

***

Thor had lost Mjolnir, only for a moment and he felt Farbauti pull him back.

He clawed at the snow, looking to where Balder lay prone after a deadly hit from Loki’s rival.

“Now” Farbauti grabbed Thor’s ankle in each hand, ready to rip him in two “You die”

Thor gasped.

“Monster!”

Farbauti looked up at the scream and saw Loki leap at him, throwing them both to the ground.

There was magic in Loki’s hands and there was magic in Farbauti’s vial.

A clink sounded and a moment later, Loki realized he’d hit the black magic and combined it with his own.

The resulting explosion sent all of them flying and a crater formed before them, taking them all in.

***

Balder hung at the edge, groaning pain because Thor was holding onto his waist.

Thor was holding up Loki, who wrapped his hands around Thor’s ankle and Bragi was holding Loki’s waist, while Farbauti kept a first grip on the golden eyed warrior.

Balder cried out when the stretch turned painful.

“Thor! Call your hammer!”

Mjolnir will pull them all out.

Thor was about to reply when Farbauti laughed.

“Yes!” he called “Save us all, Thor, go right ahead.”

Bragi screamed when Farbauti dug his nails into his back, securing him perfectly.

“See what happens”

Loki panted, holding Thor tighter “You…monster!”

Farbauti giggled “Oh, how I will love hearing you scream, Loki. I will have you. You cant get rid of me, not without killing at least one of the Odinsons”

“No” Loki panted “We will live … and you will die tonight, I will not have you live!”

“Go ahead!” Farbauti challenged “You already took everything from me, take my life, too, but I wont go alone”

Bragi screamed as his flesh was ripped anew “Thor!”

“Thor, call your bloody hammer!”

“No!” Loki yelled “He’ll live with us!”

“Of course I will!” Farbauti chuckled, shredding.

Bragi screamed again.

“Stop it!” Loki hollered “Let him go!”

Farbauti chuckled “If only letting go were this easy”

He struck Bragi again and his grip slipped from Loki.

“No!” Loki “Bragi, hold on!”

Bragi panted as he looked above.

Thor wasn’t calling his hammer for fear of dropping them or saving Farbauti. Balder wasn’t letting go, but he couldn’t hold this weight forever, Loki wished he could hold on to Bragi but he couldn’t, not without falling himself.

There was really only one answer.

And Loki saw it in Bragi’s gaze.

“No!” Loki screamed down at him “Bragi, no!”

Bragi shook his head “I’m sorry”

“No, don’t do it!” Loki hollered at him.

“It’s the only way”

By now, he was already a bleeding mess and Farbauti had started to realize what was happening.

He reached forward, intending to hold onto to Loki instead.

So Bragi closed his eyes…

…and let go.

Loki’s scream followed him, culminating with Farbauti’s and Balder and Thor’s as the golden eyed warrior, the eldest Odinson fell into the black depths of Jotunhiem, taking with him, a monster that he could not risk releasing into the world.


	31. Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bragi Odinson had a tale

It was gold that painted the skies that morning, slowly creeping up towards Asgard, lighting the kingdom on fire, beautiful, gold, inviting.

It turned warm the chilly night and was a savoir to those that lacked the means to remain warm enough or had to huddle close. It spread warmth into their houses, soft sighs of contentment released from their lips.

The kingdom had no such people, though.

The small collection of houses at the edge of the kingdom, bordering on the space between woods kingdom, did have a hefty amount of such people and the house at the very edge, held a boy everyone knew about.

The sun hit him through his window, falling in him and his sleeping pallet like a golden blanket and instead of moving closer to it, like the person on the opposite side of the room, he opened his eyes, greeting the world he lived in.

Violent, golden and unusual, his eyes blinked a few times so that the lingering sleep vanished and he could sit up without feeling lethargic.

Sitting up, popping his back as he stretched, he twisted his torso to look at the woman that slept on the opposite side of the room.

Her hair was the same pale blonde as his, her skin like snow.

He smiled at the figure before gingerly standing and stretching his muscles properly.

Fourteen years old, his body was already promising to be as lithe and lethal as a warrior’s as he moved to pick up his bedding and roll it off to the side.

Once done, he pulled the curtains apart, letting more sunlight fall in and warm the woman behind him before he walked out of their cottage.

He opened the door and stepped out, inhaling deeply the scent of winter in Asgard.

It never snowed, not here and he realized he didn’t want it to. The cold weather and the warm sun were perfect as they were and he smiled as he walked on ahead, ready to get the things needed to make breakfast and start his day.

As he walked on, a few boys waved to him as they helped their parents with the morning chores, milking and collecting eggs or little girls that giggled when they saw him and ended up being scolded by their mothers and made to return to the bread they were making.

He smirked and winked at a few girls, barely ten years of age.

They screamed and ran forward, jumping up and clinging to him until he grabbed a tiny five year old and set her on his shoulders. They were dismayed, most of them, but tagged along as he went into the large barn they all used and searched for eggs.

“So” he pulled the girl off his shoulders and set her down before crouching down for the others “How about you help me look for eggs, little darlings?”

They didn’t reply.

They screeched and he had to cover his ears and stand as they ran about, terrorizing the chickens as they got as many eggs as they could and offered them up to him.

“Well, now” he grinned “That’s quite a load, I can’t have all those by myself, now can I?”

“Yes, you can!” one, ten years old with flaming red hair spoke, offering him her three eggs “You’re big enough”

“Big?” he chuckled “Are you calling me fat?”

“No!” she giggled as the others laughed “You’re not fat, you’re…”

“Bragi!”

He closed his eyes and stood as that voice called his name, instantly silencing the girls and putting an end to their giggling.

He heard the people outside shush their children and the women take their girls inside, afraid of what the caller would do now.

“We should go” the red haired girl said, running.

“No, wait!” Bragi called after her “Diana, wait!”

She didn’t listen, neither did the others when he called to them, running from the woman that was a hellion as the stomped through the grounds, heading straight for him.

Bragi turned slowly as she closed the distance between them, stopping at the doors of the barn, hands on her hips as she glared at him.

Her beautiful face was angry and her long blonde hair tied up in a neat bun as she tapped her foot to show her agitation.

“Why are you here?” she demanded

Bragi gave her a long suffering look “You scared the girls away, Mother”

His mother made a face “Please, you are above these girls, you are a prince! Do not waste your time with them, I have told you before. Now what are you doing _here_ instead of going to the castle like I asked?”

Bragi took a deep breath to calm himself, his golden eyes going from his mother to the few people staring at them.

He hated this, it happened everyday and he hated it.

“Mother, I’ve told you, I’m not…”

“Yes, you are!” she snapped “You are a prince and you will go there, to the castle, to that _woman_ every day until they give you your birth right!”

“He has his own children, Ma” Bragi tried, as he always did.

And as always, the result was awful.

His mother walked over and stood right before him.

“You are his child” she all but snarled at him “I carried you for nine months, I know! Odin is your father and you _will_ go to the castle and demand that he give you what he owes you! Have you no care for me? Can’t you see all I want is the best for you? Can’t you see what I have left behind for you? Why I live here rather than my own land?”

Bragi sighed and lowered his head “Mother, I don’t want to be…”

She slapped him, then his head going to the side with a harsh crack.

Someone gasped from behind the doors but they were ignored.

“You will do as I say, you insolent brat!” she snarled at him “You owe it to me. I raised you for this, I took care of you, fed you, gave you a house to live in and _this_ is how you repay me?”

Bragi remained silent, his head turned away.

“You are an Odinson” she told him “The first born to that bastard and you _will_ demand your birthright, or so help me, Bragi, I will throw you out of my house! Then you will be nothing but a bastard!”

He flinched under that label but he kept his mouth closed.

This happened every week, if not every other day, he was used to it.

“You are above this life and these girls” his mother told him “Understand that. Or I swear, I will throw you out”

Bragi nodded, having heard this all before.

Satisfied at the scene she had created, his mother turned and left.

The few people that had gathered around, moved out of her way, screaming when she threw some harmless magic at them out of spite.

Bragi stood there, his cheek stinging as he watched the people look at him like some sort of animal.

He hated it.

He hated being put on display like this, he hated this place and he hated …

No, he didn’t hate his mother.

He loved her.

She was all he had, after all.

So, with a sigh, Bragi walked on, breakfast forgotten, as he went to do as his mother had said.

***

The heart that ricocheted off his chest simply stopped when he looked upon the hate displayed on his mate’s face.

Immediately, he stepped back, pulling the bundle in his arms close to his chest.

It did nothing to appease his lover, his mate, his partner.

Farbauti’s snarl turned ugly.

“You would save that runt?” he snarled “the bastard you sired, the truth of your betrayal to me!?”

“Farbauti…” Laufey said softly

“How could you!?”

That stung and Laufey licked his lips “He has no one”

“He has the snow and ice!” Farbauti growled, turning away.

When Laufey had asked for privacy so he could discuss something, this wasn’t it.

How could he…?

How could Laufey be with someone when he had given up everything for him?

Farbauti had been brought from lands afar, just to wed a Jotun he had never met.  

He had been nervous, yes, because Laufey was someone everyone knew about. His skills as a warrior and his reputation as the king of Jotunhiem was terrifying. He didn’t take well to many things Farbauti was guilty of and he’d already heard of a few, daring Jotuns that had been daring enough to go against what rules had been set and … well, it hadn’t ended well.

Farbauti was a feared Jotun in his own land, but when he had been brought forth to Laufey, he realized he was huge to him, sitting on his throne as he was.

Farbauti had lost all hope of Laufey being gentle with him and remained silent and still as they had been wed a few hours later.

His mind had been in turmoil when he had been escorted to their chambers on their wedding night. His heart had stopped when Laufey entered.

He’d been shivering but remained strong and didn’t move when Laufey came up behind him.

“I won’t do anything” he’d heard from behind him “not until you want me to, not until you are willing. Sleep where you want, I’ll sleep elsewhere if that is what you desire. You are my mate, the one chosen for me, and your wishes will come above all else for me”

He’d kissed the back of Farbauti’s head then and stepped back with a whispered goodnight.

Laufey had proved his words true, cherished him like something precious and now …

…now those words came back to a haunt Farbauti.

They mocked him as he stood with his back to Laufey and wondered what he had done wrong.

He bit his lips.

“It’s because I lost our child, isn’t it?” he whispered.

“No!” Laufey said, paling and walking over “not at all, this is…”

“Yes,” Farbauti hissed, turning to face him “you had been distant ever since I miscarried, ever since I bled on our floor, you have refused to touch me, this is why you..!”

He glared at the bundle as it moved, small hands and feet, pale as ice poked out of the blanket he was held in and soft cooing noises rose from it.

Laufey looked at the torment on Farbauti’s face when he saw the child “My lover…”

“No” Farbauti said softly, stepping away from him “I’m not your lover. I am nothing to you”

“Please” Laufey pleaded.

As though it would make everything better, as though it would fix his broken heart, as though it would make Laufey’s act undone.

Farbauti shook his head and backed away, heading for the door.

“I’m nothing to you” he whispered, breaking his heart further “as long as _it_ remains in your arms, I am nothing for you”

“Farbauti, please…”

But he was already leaving, already walking out in the hall with nothing other than the sharp pain in his chest and the slowly rising rage he already knew would never end.

***

Bragi was afraid.

For the first time in his young life, as he stood before his mother, he was afraid.

Her eyes were narrowed to slits, her beautiful face contorted in rage as she read the document he had given her, the document Odin himself had handed to him with a smile on his face and understanding in his eye.

Frigga had been with him, as kind and gentle and beautiful as he had always heard.

Her blue eyes had looked on as Bragi fought his mother’s war and steadily lost against Odin’s argument.  
There were no yelled voices, but Bragi was getting desperate because he didn’t want to let his mother down, didn’t want to go home empty handed.

He wouldn’t be a prince, he knew that, Odin knew that and Frigga knew that. He was illegitimate, the horrid stamp on him burned even as it stopped him from speaking forcefully against the king, demand his right.

He didn’t want to be prince, his mother did and perhaps Odin saw that.

Because he’d smiled at him and handed him a scroll, denoting that he is welcome to _any_ position he wished, anything other than a prince.

Bragi had wanted to cry, wanted to plead to Odin, to let him stay there with him instead of sending back to his mother, but he didn’t have a choice.

Odin had his family, Bragi didn’t belong in it.

So he had gone home.

One look at him and his mother had known.

He tried to explain, but she snatched the scroll from his hands and started reading, her face slowly turning into the mask of rage it was now.

Bragi swallowed when she lifted her eyes to him, grey and angry.

“Is this what I asked you to do?” she rasped.

Bragi shook his head “Mother, I …”

“Do not!” she screamed, making him flinch “Do not give me excuses of your failure to me! I sent you to do one thing, one thing, Bragi and you can’t even do that!? You are his son, how can you not have courage enough to confront him with it!?”

“I did” Bragi said softly “How can I ask for something he isn’t willing to give? He’s given me so many other…”

“Hang them!” she yelled, throwing the scroll aside “You were supposed to do this, you go there day in and day out and for what!? Are you truly nothing more than a bastard!?”

Bragi flinched under that _name_.

“Don’t call me that” he whispered.

“Oh” she sneered “developed a backbone, then? Commanding your own mother, but you can’t command him? He’s your father!”

“I have only your word for it” he said softly.

And as soon as the words left his lips, he regretted them.

His mother, the hellion before him, turned into a monster.

Because then followed a beating Bragi had never before received.

She used magic on him.

At first it was nothing, Bragi could convince himself he felt nothing.

But then he realized that he _truly_ couldn’t feel anything!

A moment later, his hearing went and a moment after that, his vision started to blur.

He fell on his knees, hands at his throat as he could _feel_ his voice, his sound leaving him and when he tried to scream, he realized he couldn’t. He couldn’t scream and he couldn’t hear and he couldn’t see.

He tried to plead, he tried to _look_ at his mother but he couldn’t, there was nothing there but darkness and he didn’t know what he was doing, what was happening!

He may have made a sound, he may have not, but he realized someone was moving him.

It wasn’t because he felt it, no, that would have given him some sort of balance, it was the fact that his body was losing equilibrium, that he could sense the world going around and around.

He tried screaming again, but he couldn’t, he tried moving, but he didn’t know if he had succeeded or not.

He rested a hand, he didn’t know if he touched air or something solid…

…he just didn’t know!

**

Bragi lay on the floor, panting.

His hearing had been given back to him, his feeling, the sense of touch was a stability he’d been given back.

His sight hadn’t.

And he lived in the fear that maybe he was truly blinded.

He groaned when he felt a hit against his ribs, enhanced by magic, making him arch off the floor his cries of agony muffles behind a gag.

He twitched and arched when he felt something break his fingers, screaming.

His mother talked to him as she beat him, taught him the lesson, the price of his words.

He didn’t hear her because she kept beating him, making him scream and claw at the floor where he was held down by magic.

He didn’t know how long h had been in this state, at the hands of his own mother, perhaps days?

Weeks?

It felt like that to him and he bit his lip when he felt another hit to his gut, making him curl up.

She was talking to him again, but he could not listen, not when he was in so much pain, not even every touch felt like he was being stabbed, not when he had curled up, his hands and arms covering his head as he lay helpless in torture.

His voice carried outside, finally, when he felt something lash his back and when he couldn’t contain his screams any longer.

He screamed and screamed his throat raw, making the neighbors finally run over to intervene.

A merchant was the first to arrive and he paled, freezing when he saw the torture on the poor boy.

“Edith, stop!” he’d yelled his mother’s name, instead of calling her ‘that witch’ or any other names his mother had collected for herself over the years.

He stepped between Bragi and Edith, a monster to her own child now, and shielded him.

“That’s enough!” he said, grabbing her wrist when she almost turned on him instead.

She blinked in surprise, losing her hold on Bragi, returning his sight and lifting the awful curse upon him.

The boy crumbled on the floor, a weeping, sagging mess as he was enveloped in warm arms.

The merchant’s wife had pulled him to her and he embraced her tightly, hiding his face in her shoulder as he whimpered at the pain that coursed through him.

His mother was yelling at the merchant but he heard nothing, nothing other than her parting words, meant for him.

“Get out” she had yelled “get out, you worthless bastard, you have no use for me!”

They had followed him as he was led on, once more put on display for the small village, where everyone knew who he was, clinging to the woman that herded him into her home and set him down on the rug, soothing him when he whimpered.

It still hurt so bad.

He hated his mother’s magic.

“Enough” she whispered, kissing his hair “Enough, sweetheart, it’s over”

But he couldn’t stop, he could not stop feeling that beating on him and it hurt so much he was shivering.

His eyes were closed as he pulled on her, to let keep her close, if only for a moment longer.

He heard the merchant return after a long time, he heard him lock the door.

Husband and wife spoke, Bragi didn’t hear them.

All he heard were the names his mother had called him.

Bastard, worthless, useless, burden, ungrateful, unfaithful, disloyal, bastard … bastard … bastard!

Bragi realized he’d let loose a soft sob, his first uncontrolled one, when the wife tightened her arms around him.

“Hush, darling, hush” she whispered.

Her husband sat behind him and ran his hand over Bragi’s head, saying soft words, trying to calm him.

He barely heard them, but he did hear the door open.

“Mama, Papa,” a small girl called “what happened?”

“Not now” her mother said, carefully stroking Bragi’s back “Go to sleep, Diana, we will talk in the morning”

Hearing her name, Bragi managed to shift enough to look at the little girl as she slowly closed the door, her blue eyes fixed on him.

He squeezed his eyes shut and turned away so that she couldn’t see his tears.

***

Farbauti fell into the snow with the force of the hit.

The ice seemed cold to him, something impossible for a Jotun, and he didn’t get up, didn’t move.

He knew this day was coming the moment he saw that pup in Laufey’s arms, he knew it.

Now, a few months later, with a control he’d barely had in check snapping, Farbauti lay at his husband’s feet, glaring up at him as he was displayed for the whole kingdom.

Laufey looked down at him, his red gaze furious as he glared at the monster his mate had become.

Farbauti snarled at him, but he didn’t dare get up.

He was lethal, but Laufey was someone he could never beat, not even in their happier days. And now, after he’d done the ‘near impossible’ as Laufey had put it, he lay there, truly defeated, laying with the whole kingdom watching him.  
Laufey’s voice, when he spoke, was devoid of emotion and that chilled Farbauti’s soul more than anything.

“The only reason you are still breathing is because of the life you shared with me. But no more”

Farbauti looked up at him, breathing heavily.

His heart, which remained no more, was brought back to life then speared straight through when he saw his children…

…his _children_ standing behind Laufey looking at him.   

It made him look back to Laufey, a hint of pleading in his voice.

Not before them, I beg of you.

That’s what he wanted to say.

But Laufey didn’t let him.

“Get out”

Farbauti’s mouth hung open and he slowly shook his head “Laufey, I …”

“I said, leave” Laufey snarled “Now”

The Jotuns that watched him with sadistic glee turned even more interested when Laufey’s bundle let loose a small sound.

Farbauti looked at Loki in wonder.

How had this tiny thing destroyed him?

“Dam!”

He looked up to see Helbindi run forward, throw himself into Farbauti’s arms.

“Don’t leave!” he cried “Not because of that runt, no!”

“Helbindi!” Laufey roared.

“No!” the boy yelled back, startling even Farbauti “I will not listen, not anymore! You brought that creature and destroyed my family! You destroyed everything you once held dear! We became nothing to you!”

Laufey roared and Loki began to cry.

Farbauti held his child to his chest as he looked at Laufey, speechless.

“Husband…”

Laufey snarled and turned handing the boy in his arms to Byleistr, telling him to keep him safe.

Then he turned back.

“One chance” he said “to apologize for what you tried to do today. That is all I give you”

Farbauti opened his mouth to almost agree, well, to _not_ disagree, when Helbindi interrupted him.

“No” he snarled, a small fighter, just like his sire “We will not”

Laufey looked down at his child, his eldest “Helbindi, you are not addressed”

“But I will speak!” he said “for my dam and the grave injustice he suffered today”

“He tried to kill your brother!”

“He is not my brother, he is a burden!”

Laufey roared and a moment later, Helbindi was thrown aside by his father’s blow.

“No!” Farbauti finally screamed, getting up and running to his child “no…”

He lifted Helbindi softly, gently, not even paying attention to what Laufey was saying. He turned the boy over and made a soft coo at the swelling that had already started. Helbindi was crying and he hid his face in Farbauti’s heartless chest.

Farbauti held him close, lifted him into his arms and slowly stood.

All breath seemed to stop as he looked at Laufey.

“Know that I will return” he rasped to Laufey “know that you, all three of you will pay for what you have done tonight”

Helbindi whimpered and Farbauti held him closer.

“You have shunned family, child, home and mate for that bastard” Farbauti said, his back straight “You know naught of what you have unleashed tonight, Jarsson”

Laufey stilled at his name, the one Farbauti never used.

“Your deaths” Farbauti spoke “for this act, I guarantee”

Laufey snarled and pointed to the horizon “Get out”

Farbauti scoffed and looked ahead, to the cold world before him.

He was always proud, but this was the height of his arrogance as he walked out with grace, head held high, his promise shuddering behind him.

He was nothing more than a distant smudge when he allowed the first tear to fall down his cheek and held his remaining child to his chest before he fell to his knees; sobbing.

***

A few days after the incident, Bragi happened to find himself alone.

It hadn’t happened before, Diana’s father, Albert, made sure to have someone or the other around him at all times.

And though it was a safety he appreciated, it also hurt him that he needed it from his own mother.

But the woman had proved herself a force to be reckoned with.

The next morning, she had thrown all of Bragi’s belongings out, announcing that he had no children.

She had sold them to a few thieves for almost nothing and Bragi had run to get as much as he could.

It wasn’t much; just the torn scroll Odin had given him and a tunic.

The men weren’t fair to him, either, refusing to give his things to him even when he pleaded them to let him buy them.

No, they had laughed at him, not for sale.

He had known they were his mother’s acquaintances, no one was cruel without reason.

So he stood, watching everything he had held dear be carted away. 

He was a pauper, a begger, with nothing to his name other than a label. His hands twisted the tunic he had grasped like a life line and a moment later he’d felt the softest touch to his elbow.

He turned and looked down to see Diana smiling up at him. She didn’t say a word, just hooked her arm in his and led him back to her home where breakfast awaited him.

He didn’t speak much, but he kept glancing to his home – his former home- in hopes of catching his mother’s eyes, to seek forgiveness.

He would try again, he really would. He would go to Odin and beg him to …  
But his thoughts had been interrupted my Diana’s father tell him to eat, to focus on his meal because he was going to help him that morning.

Bragi had blinked at him, surprised, before he nodded.

His gaze kept going to look to his mother, though.

Now, he stood, lifting the crates he had been asked to take inside, the merchant’s wares for tomorrow.

He made a face when he caught the scent of unwashed leather and lifted the crate with his breath held tightly.

He turned to deposit it where he had placed the wheel barrow and froze.

Edith stood directly behind him.

Bragi paled, his heart began to hammer within his chest and his breathing became stuttered.

His eyes searched behind his mother, for the merchant, or anyone his mother didn’t wish to trifle with.

There was no one and he swallowed loudly, trembling lightly as he realized she had magic cradled in one hand.

She sneered at him “One word, and you will regret it”

Bragi pulled his lips inwards.

“Understand?”

He nodded once, though he wished he could scream for help.

He didn’t want to go through _that_ again.

Edith smiled and reached up, using the fact that he was with a burden as advantage and stroked his cheek.

Bragi flinched back, dropped the crate and spilled the contents on the ground.

“What do you want?” he panted.

Edith smiled “I just wanted to have a word with my child, is that so bad?”

“Yes” Bragi said, scanning the area for someone, anyone “After what you did, yes. Now leave me alone”

He turned to leave, use the crates as a separation between them but Edith grabbed his arm.

“Is that anyway to talk to your mother?” she rasped

“You disowned me” Bragi pulled against her, “now let go”

Edith scoffed and let him go, laughing when he stumbled “When did you get so weak?”

Bragi put distance between them, glaring at her “Leave me be”

He placed a nice, protective wall of crates between them and leaned his head against it, closing his eyes.

“You know” Edith’s voice came up from the other side “I could make everything much, much worse for you.”

Bragi’s hand fisted uselessly beside his head as he leaned on the crates, listening to her voice.

“I could do that to you forever, lock you in darkness, never let you out” she went on “It will be worth it”

Bragi shuddered “I’m your son”

She scoffed “You were a means to an end, nothing more”

Bragi shut his eyes, refusing to let her words hurt him more than they already did.

“Go away”

“I will” she snickered “at a price”

Bragi trembled “I can’t get you anything”

“Yes, you can”

He froze

“I want a meeting with Odin’s second child”

Bragi frowned “Thor? He’s a baby, he …”

“No, you fool!” she snapped from the other side, sounding closer “Balder, the brave one! The one he wants to give the throne to”

“No”

Edith’s sneer could be heard in her voice “No? Are you disobeying me?”

Bragi cried out when he felt horrible, stinging magic slither up his back “No, leave me alone!”

He slipped out from the other side, running to the cottage where would find his refuge.

But Edith didn’t allow it.

Bragi gasped when something coiled around his ankle and pulled him back, sending him falling to the ground with a sick crack.

“No!” he yelled, then gave up his pride “Help! Someone help me!”

Edith cackled loudly “I told you, this will get worse”

Bragi had _never_ imagined he could see this, his mother, in this state. He clawed at the ground, trying to stop himself when he was pulled back.

He heard yells in the distance and was relieved.

“Bring him to me” she snarled from behind Bragi “Or you will regret it”

“Bragi!”

He was let go.

Bragi scrambled forward when he saw Diana’s parents running forward, all but falling into her father’s arms.

“What happened!?” her mother, Abbi, asked, running to her husband “Saldis, what happened?”

“She’s there,” Bragi whispered, trying to get his legs to work “My … my …Edith, is …”

Saldis and Abbi looked, confused behind him.

Bragi didn’t turn, didn’t wish to see…

“Where?”

He spun around more out of surprise than anything else and saw there was nothing.

“Bragi, where is she?”

He opened his mouth to speak and closed it.

She wasn’t there.

And in that moment, he knew more than anyone else that his former mother wouldn’t stop tormenting him until he did as she asked.

And Bragi realized that no matter how much he would try, he was going to end up doomed.

***

“Where are we going?” Balder asked very softly.

Bragi swallowed loudly “A woman, she … she says she can tell your future”

Balder seemed hesitant, as a child his age should “I … I don’t want to know my future”

Bragi looked at him, his mouth parting so he could speak “It will be entertaining, don’t you want to know what kind of king you will be? Or what Thor will look like? Maybe he’ll turn chubby and run really, really slow so you can beat him in all the races you will have”

He tried to cheer Balder up, giving him different scenarios.

But Balder reached out and held his hand, looking around the thickset trees Bragi had brought him to.

He moved closer, hiding against Bragi, the act so brotherly it wavered Bragi’s resolve. 

“I want to go back”

Bragi looked _broken_.

His mother … Edith … had been cruel to the point where Bragi had no option…

…he wanted it to be over…

He wanted her to stop cornering him and hurting him and vanishing so that everyone questioned his sanity.

But … Balder was a child, he couldn’t do this to him.

“Alright” he said thickly, turning back “alright, let’s go…”

Bragi froze when he found himself face to face with his mother.

Immediately, he pulled Balder behind him, ignoring the cry he gave.

Edith, however, smiled “Well, well, it seems the little prince is lost. How unfortunate”

“He’s not lost” Bragi said, looking up and praying that Hiemdall send someone “he’s with me, he’s fine. Leave us be”

Edith gave him a pitying glance “Please, I’m only trying to help”

She leaned down and smiled at Balder “Greetings, little prince”

“Balder, don’t answer her” Bragi said, stepping back, ignoring how his mother glared at him.

“Greetings”

Balder’s soft call froze them both and Edith grinned, looked at Balder “Are you lost?”

Balder shook his head, leaning out from behind Bragi “No, my brother and I are taking a walk but now I wish to go back”

“Brother, eh?”

She gave the frozen Bragi a knowing look “How sweet”

She stepped forward and Bragi took three steps back, taking Balder with him, though the other clearly didn’t appreciate it.

“Balder, let go”

“No!” Bragi called when Balder snatched himself free and went to Edith “Balder, don’t!”

But it was too late.

Edith had already placed magic on Balder and the boy was attached to her. His whole face lit up as he looked upon Edith with nothing but praise and love and a wonder Bragi couldn’t take in.

And in that moment, he knew his mother’s evil plan.

“One useless bastard gone,” Edith said, as though reading his mind “One loyal child, gained”

She stroked Balder’s cheek and the boy giggled, embracing Edith tightly, as though she was his mother.

Bragi shook his head “No, please don’t do this”

Edith smirked and held on to Balder’s hand, turning and leaving, deeming Bragi harmless.

“Wait!” Bragi ran after the monster “You can’t do this, I … I won’t let you!”

“Oh?” she looked over his shoulder at him “And what will you do to stop me?”

“I don’t have to do anything” Bragi said, “Heimdall has already seen this, he will report to the king!”

“No he won’t” Edith giggled, walking on, letting Bragi follow her.

He was scared to death of her, but he couldn’t let her take Balder away, he just couldn’t!

“I have a spell to block even his sight” she said sweetly “Do go away, you are bothering me”

Bragi growled and moved forward, grabbed Balder’s arm.

He was stunned when Balder screeched and pulled at Edith’s dress “Mama!”

Bragi was thrown back a moment later by powerful magic, lying flat on his back, disoriented a moment before he sat up and ran after them again.

“Stop!” 

They didn’t listen, walking on and leaving him to follow as he ended up in a small cottage he’d never seen before.

It was clear Edith lived here because she left the door open, clearly enjoying tormenting him.

He panted as he entered and saw Balder sitting at a table, waiting for some juice that Edith was pouring into a glass.

“Stop” he said, walking over to Balder “This is enough. You will never be in power, I will not allow you to. I will have Odin know, I will have everyone know that this is a fraud, that you have Balder under your power. You will have no chance at escape.”

Edith hummed and lifted two glasses, one for Balder, one for Bragi.

She turned and placed them on the table.

“Drink”

Bragi blinked, feeling the color drain from his face.

He swallowed loudly, looking at her “What?”

Edith smiled “I know you will uncover me, ruin my plans, or at least, try to. So I have a proposition for you. Drink one of these and if it is the right one, you can take Balder home.”

Bragi didn’t trust her, not at all “You’re insane”

“And you’re desperate” she said, gently pulling Balder’s hands away from the goblets “So either take my offer, or watch me disappear with Odin’s heir and return to the castle you so eagerly ran to and explain to him how you lost his child”

Bragi felt his throat constrict “Why are you doing this?”

Edith snarled “He was mine. He was supposed to marry _me_ , not that bitch!”

And it was then that Bragi understood everything.

Why his mother was the way she was, why she pushed him into doing what she made him do, why she hurt _him_ when she saw his failure.

It was rage against Odin.

He was about to call her mad, tell her she couldn’t have what she wanted, because her heart was black. 

But in that moment, when Edith was glaring at _him_ , Bragi looked at Balder.

His eyes widened when he saw Balder drink that juice.

“Balder, no!” he screamed, running forward.

But it was too late.

Balder made an inarticulate sound, a keening noise Bragi would never forget and fell off the chair he’d been sitting in, blood pouring from his mouth.

***

Bragi cried out as he was thrown against the damp wall, crumpling to the floor a moment later and staring at the door when the guard began to close it.

“No, please!” he ran forward, crashing against it as it was slammed shut, grabbing the bars and shaking them “I’m innocent!”

He cried it out loudly “I’m innocent, I didn’t do anything!”

Bragi pulled at the bars again, restless, frantic, calling out to anyone who would listen.

“I didn’t do anything!” he cried.

The distant thud of a door was the only answer he got, resonating through the dungeons of Asgard’s castle.

***

It was freezing cold down in the dungeons and they hadn’t given him anything to warm him.

He had been left with no choice but to curl up in the warmest corner and shiver, tremble in his misery, shaking with both fear and the chill that seemed never ending.

His breath was coming out in shuddering gasps and a slight mist that vanished a moment later.

There was no one around, he was completely alone.

And since the silence was so stifling, Bragi startled violently when he heard the doors on his cell clank open.

He sat up, his eyes going wide when he saw Odin himself walk in, his face a mask of rage.

Bragi moved on his knees as Odin strode forward, shaking his head.

“No, no Majesty, I …”

He cried out when Odin struck him, sending him falling to his side and gasped a moment later when his hair was grabbed in Odin’s fist and he was hauled up to face him.

“You think to get away with this!?” Odin yelled, shaking him violently “That I will accept what you have done just because you’re mine?!”

Bragi sobbed loudly as he was shaken, his hand going to Odin’s wrist “Please!”

“You deserved nothing!” Odin yelled at him, throwing him to the ground before lifting him up and slapping him again “You cruel boy, I owed you nothing! And after taking my generosity, this is how you repay me!?”

Bragi cried out with each hit, lying on the floor, letting his _father_ beat him this time.

“You are a vain, greedy, cruel boy!” Odin yelled “How dare you think to harm my son?!”

He raised his hand to hit him again and Bragi curled up, sobbing as he waited for it.

But it never came.

Instead, he heard quick footsteps approach, smelled sweet flowers before a motherly, angry voice spoke.

Odin growled something in response and was silenced by that sweet voice.

Bragi flinched and cried out, cringing away when he felt someone touch him.

“I didn’t!” he yelled, not lifting his head from the floor “I didn’t do anything, please!”

“I know” the sweet voice said, warmth covering him from behind “I know, my darling, I know”

Bragi was gently lifted up, turned and pulled against the warmest thing he knew he would never forget.

He held her close, Queen Frigga, and sobbed into her furs and shawl, letting her put her arms around him.

“Frigga…”

“Not now” she turned her head, glaring at Odin coldly “Leave us”

“But …”

“Now” she rasped, a fearsome creature, a contradiction to herself as she soothed Bragi on the other side “Before I exact retribution for what you have done”

Bragi heard Odin leave after he stood in shame for a while longer and he closed his eyes.

“It’s over” Frigga kissed his hair “You’re safe”

Bragi shook his head “No, no, I’m not….I’m not…she’ll come back, she’ll …”

“No” Frigga said with chilling resolve “She won’t”

Bragi didn’t listen to her then, but later, much later as he lay in bed in his new room in the castle, he realized that Frigga had spoken with a certainty that scared him more than anything in his life.

***

She was sixteen, and a beauty to behold.

When Bragi saw her, he knew.

He knew he had to have her or he’ll die.

His eyes, golden and violent, followed her as he sat reading the text Frigga had told him to.

He was older now, twenty years old, tall and with a muscular build that intimidated everyone around him.

It was one of the reasons he was the Captain of the Guard in this village. His eyes, that were always under furrowed brows, made people think twice about talking to him or approaching him.

His size, his cool exterior, everything made him the coldest man in this district.

He didn’t have friends, he didn’t need them, he didn’t had few lovers, though it wasn’t because of chance.

Bragi was _stunning_ in his beauty, a magnificent creature to behold, he didn’t have a shortage of women, and even some daring men asking him to their beds, no.

It was because he preferred only one above them all that he remained aloof to their advances.

Diana.

His savior, the little girl from his village, the daughter of the merchant that had saved him from his mother before her death, walked on, selling and bargaining her father’s wares with a clever, polite tongue that left the men baffled.

If she occasionally batted her lashes at them, Bragi saw no harm in it as he sat perched on his window sill, a portion of the huge housing building he had able to afford himself.

Bragi didn’t live at the castle anymore.

Not since he became aware that he wasn’t wanted by anyone.

No one other than Frigga talked to him and the moment he had enough, he had bought himself a small portion of an apartment that was let out to people in need. He had jumped at the opportunity and gotten himself a small home, just for him, where he did as he pleased.

Like watching Diana argue with her customers. He grinned when she won and took the poor man for twice as much as the necklace was worth.

Shaking his head, Bragi tossed the book inside and looked at the ledge below him.

He had done this many times, but somehow, with Diana right across from him, he hesitated for a moment before he jumped down, grabbed the ledge and lowered himself to the ground with a rare flourish.

A small applause followed and Bragi was disappointed that Diana didn’t join in.

Grimacing, he walked over, smiling a little at the few people he knew and ignoring the women that swooned over him as he passed, heading straight for Diana’s stall.

She was arranging a few things when he approached and looked up, giving him a shy smile.

“Captain Bragi” she curtsied “How are you? I haven’t seen you in months”

Bragi grinned at her, the only person he recalled grinning to, and bowed his head “I am well. Tell me of yourself, how are your wonderful parents?”

She scoffed and waved a hand at him as she worked “Oh, you know. Bothering the life out of me”

Bragi chuckled and came over, pretending to examine all she had to display “My, my, someone has been busy”

Diana hummed and tossed fiery red hair over her shoulder “Aye, Father got a new shipment from Alfhiem, everything is rather dull, I find. For a place as exotic as that, it has little to offer”

“Really?” he asked, glancing at everything “Nothing caught your eye?”

Diana shook her head before she wrinkled her nose and looked at her long time friend “Well, there is one thing…”

Bragi beamed when she lifted an emerald necklace, a silver chain around a drop of the precious gem and showed it to him.

“But it’s too expensive” she sighed, looking at it longingly “I am torn between hiding it so that I get to keep it and selling it to make Father proud. Sales have been a little weak lately.”

Bragi felt his heart become heavy as seeing her this way and before he really knew it, he reached out to see the necklace.

“The lady fancies this?”

“Yes” Diana said, looking at him with a grimace “But the lady can’t have it”

He pulled it back but Bragi held on, surprising her.

“I’ll buy it”

She blinked at him “What?”

“Well, clearly you can’t” he gave her a soft smile “So, let me have it”

“Why do you want it?” she stared at him suspiciously “You’re a man”

Bragi sniggered “I am aware of that fact. I want to give it to me future wife, if you must know”

He pulled it out of her slender hands “How much?”

She looked at him in slight dismay and crossed her arms over her chest “More than you can afford, I’m sure”

Bragi chuckled “We shall see. How much? Five gold coins?”

“Ten” she sniped

Bragi chuckled and fished in his pocket “Have fifteen”

He placed them neatly on the table, a smug expression on his face at her shock.

He coiled the necklace around his hand and winked at her “Thank you, my dear”

She made a face at him “I’m not your anything!”

Bragi laughed, making everyone stare at him as he walked back, a great deal poorer and a hundred times happier.

***

Six years later, Bragi got what he wanted.

But he got it in the worst way possible.

***

He had vowed not to go to the Saldis until he was in a position of power.

He had replied to the occasional letter, given him details, expressing his thanks whenever he could and told him about how he intended to make an important visit to him one day.

Today was that day.

And dressed in his best armor, his sword at his side and the emblem that marked him as a high ranking officer in Asgard’s army, he made his way to Saldis’ house.

Children ran about him as he rode upon his horse, his golden eyes glittering as he rode past the other villages to go to his own, the one he’d grown up in, the one he wanted to get out of.

He passed the children slowly before he sped up, making his horse gallop forth like a noble steed and heading right for Diana, the woman who had always kept his heart.

The skies had started to darken along his trip and he worried about things like rejection and where he would stay should Saldis refuse his offer.

Maybe he could sleep in the barn.

His thoughts got wilder and wilder, his eagerness slowly dampening as he rode on until he came to a familiar clearing.

And all he had prepared, all he had wished and wanted to see, evaporated when he saw what was before him.

A group of people dressed in black, surrounded coffin, sounds and moans of grief rose from the people that stood before him, crying, sobbing and cursing fates.

They didn’t see him stop, they didn’t see him dismount but he saw.

And his face turned from somber shock to the young red haired lass that cried on her mother’s shoulder as her father’s coffin lay before her.

Saldis; the man that had saved him from his mother, was no more.

He stumbled a little, grabbing the arm of a young boy to steady himself and therefore gaining attention.

They turned slowly, all of them, to look at him.

There was surprise, there was staring and there was stillness as he looked at the closed coffin, his mouth tight and grim.

Saldis, the sole provider to his family was no more.

His widow and unmarried daughter … they were the prime pick for trouble, Bragi knew.

He had lived this long so close to the kingdom to end up knowing the harsh realities of life.

Raising his eyes, he saw Diana looking at him through her tears, partly in shock and partly lost in grief over her father.

The moment their eyes met and before Diana dropped her gaze, their fates changed.

It seemed time had slowed as Bragi moved forward, making everything just a little bit harder, a little bit more difficult.

Abbi, Diana’s mother, saw him as he walked over, parting the crowds like a prince as he came forward.

Diana stared at him in apprehension, clutching her mother to her as he approached.

Bragi had his back straight, his head high as he stopped before her.

Without a word, Bragi lifted a hand and gently, lovingly, placed it on Diana’s head, blessing her, asking her…

…offering his hand to her without a word.

***

Short and efficient; that was what their wedding had been like.

When things were relatively calmer, Bragi had taken Diana and Abbi to the court, taken two of his soldiers as witnesses and produced the documents they would sign so that they became husband and wife.

Bragi had signed with a resolve as hard as the gold in his eyes and Diana’s hands had shook until Abbi had placed herself beside her nervous daughter.

She had signed it, giving herself to the man beside her, giving him a sidelong glance, looking at his hard jaw, his beautiful face.

She had known him as a boy; barely knew him as a man and now – she was his.

He tried not to bite her quivering lips as Bragi took her hand and placed his ring on her.

 

“With this ring” he whispered “I thee wed”

Diana swallowed loudly and took her father’s ring from her mother and hesitantly took his hand, letting him hold it out rather than keep it between her hand.

“With this ring” she said, her voice shaking “I thee wed”

The judge before them, the judge of the Royal Court, announced them man and wife and gave them his blessings.

Diana let loose a soft sob, prompting her mother to rush forward and embrace her, then Bragi.

She kissed his cheek, surprising him.

Abbi pulled back and ran her hands down his arms “Take care of her; you are all she has now”

Bragi blinked slowly, taking Abbi’s hand in his and kissing her knuckles.

“I will do everything I can to make sure she has any and all that she wants”

Abbi smiled and cupped his cheek before she stepped back and let the married couple walk out, hand in hand.

***

That night, Diana had pleaded a headache and rushed to … to Bragi’s small bedroom, locking the door and leaning against it, placing a hand over her mouth.

Married, she was married, to Bragi.

The boy her father had saved, the boy who had run away and hurt the First Prince of Asgard.

He frightened her and she had asked her mother not to accept his proposal.

Her mother hadn’t listened and now she was here, at the mercy of a man capable of harming Balder, the beautiful prince of Asgard.

She pushed off the door, startled when she felt and heard the knock.

“Diana” Bragi called “Please open the door”

She was trembling, her hands shaking as he reached forward to do as she was asked and saw him standing there, his beautiful golden eyes looking at her.

Diana swallowed audibly and stepped back when he approached, feeling her heart race against her chest.

“I was…” she managed “I was tired”

Bragi nodded, came inside and locked the door behind him before going to the wardrobe and pulling out sleep clothes for himself. He walked behind the screen and Diana heard him undress.

She stood awkwardly, looking around at everything he owned.

There were no weapons in his rooms, but there were books and she walked over to read the titles in the dim candle light.

Some of them were in a language she didn’t know, but some of them were tales even she had read.

She ran her finger over their spines, turning her head to the side as she read their names and didn’t hear the rustling of clothes behind her stop.

She did, however, hear Bragi when he cleared his throat from behind her.

Diana gasped and spun around, looking at him with wide eyes, her hands snatched to her chest.

Her heart jumped to her throat and he tried to breathe around a constricted throat when he saw the muscles and sheer _power_ that was Bragi. 

She trembled and Bragi sighed “Diana, we don’t have to do anything tonight. Just change your clothes and sleep. I’ll sleep downstairs if you want”

She shook her head “N- no, it’s…If you just let me change…”

Bragi nodded and moved so she could go to where she kept her cabinet before he left the room, closing the door behind him.

**

Diana was already in bed, curled on her side, trying to sleep when Bragi returned. 

Despite his words, she tensed when she felt the bed dip under his weight and felt him lie down beside her.

He pulled the covers up over him and then everything was still.

“Goodnight, Diana”

Diana cleared her throat before she spoke “Goodnight”

***

The moonlight glistened off the muscles on his sleek back as they worked, his gasps and pants loud in the room.

Her nails scratched his back, raking down, leaving angry red lines as Bragi moved inside her, claiming her marking her. Her head was thrown back, his mouth was latched onto her neck as he groaned loudly, rocking his hips, moving faster.

“Diana…” he panted, fisting the sheets as he kept his beautiful, powerful body moving along, thrusting in and out of her.

Her lips were parted on whimpers and gasps of pleasure as it mounted inside her, threatening to push her off the precipice as he moaned, her voice soft but enough for Bragi.

He turned his head and kissed her, pressing her down into the bed as he moved, kept moving in her tight, hot channel.

Perspiration started to shine on his back as Bragi continued, feeling himself come closer and closer to the edge.

Diana keened softly, scratching him again as he felt him tense and arched her back, coming before he did.

Bragi kept thrusting, moved a few more time before he gave a loud shout of his release and fell on her, gasping and panting for breath as he always did after taking her.

It had been this way for the past year.

Diana stroked his back as she lay in bliss.

Bragi was a sensational lover, he used his fingers, his mouth, his hands on her like she was made to be worshipped.

She loved every moment of it and now was no different.

She chuckled when he moved and held on tight.

“Not so fast” she said, continuing on stroking his back “I like it this way”

Bragi gave a breathy laugh and lifted his head to kiss her neck, looking at the necklace she wore, the emerald drop shining in the moon light.

“I’m spoiling you”

Diana laughed “Of course you are. That’s why you married me”

Bragi, now in a home larger than he had ever pictured and located in the richest part of Asgard, chuckled

“Of course. You intend to bankrupt me”

“You guessed my plan” she smiled in mock dismay “Whatever shall I do?”

Bragi growled, a sinister grin on his lips “You do nothing”

His hands moved up and he began to tickle her sides “Other than take your punishment!”

Diana shrieked in laughter, struggling half heartedly as he continued his assault on her.

Their laughter carried to the skies and disappeared into the dark.

***

The sun shone on his face that morning as he lay opposite her in the cottage they had bought.

His smile was brighter than anything she had ever seen as he ran a large hand over her bulging middle.

Diana smiled at him “I love you”

Bragi’s lips curved softly “I love you too, I always have”

***

“A girl” Bragi said, wiping his eyes as he looked at the miracle handed to him “I have a girl”

Diana, lying in bed as he sat beside him nodded “Name her”

Bragi shook his head, looking down at her, at his _daughter_ , the most beautiful thing he could ever have held like this in his arms, created out of their love.

“No name can describe her” he whispered, settling the baby against him, looking into her golden eyes, her bright red hair.

“Adara” 

Bragi looked up, surprised at his wife “What?”

“Her name” Diana said, stroking his cheek “Adara. It means beautiful. Your beautiful Adara”

Bragi licked his lips, swallowing before looking at his wife, then his daughter.

“Adara” he repeated “I love it”

***

He was screaming.

He was on his knees, in his destroyed chambers, screaming at the ground, his hands fisted in his golden hair, his molten eyes filled with tears as he _screamed_ at the injustice.

He didn’t feel the tears that fell down his tormented face, he didn’t feel anything other than the pain, the grief the horror that seeped on him over and over again.

“Diana!” he called, breaking off into a sob at the end “Adara!”

He received no response, no coo of a child that was learning to love him, no laughter of the wife that meant everything to him.

Nothing.

They were gone.

And he was alone.

Again.

So he screamed and sobbed to the skies until his voice gave out.

Until nothing remained inside him.

 

Until he wanted to die himself.

***

He was falling…

The air whipped past him chilling and cold, as it was in Jotunhiem, as it was supposed to be.

He could still feel the weight of that monster holding him as both of them fell and he could see the light above him get smaller and smaller.

Bragi closed his eyes as he felt himself fall, as he felt himself take that monster with him, going into an abyss that would end in his death.

Where he could finally, finally have some peace.

Have Diana and his baby girl back.

***

Loki, panting in horror, looked up at Thor and Balder, realizing it was _their_ screams that echoed so loudly.

He licked his lips and his eyes locked with Thor’s.

“Thor” he called, making his lover look at him “Do you trust me?”

Thor frowned but he nodded “With everything I am”

“Good”

A moment later, Loki let go.

***

He didn’t have enough magic, Loki realized, as he sailed towards Bragi.

The delay was crucial and he could already see the end, the black that would end Bragi and Farbauti.

He had used as much as he was allowed to, but _it wasn’t enough_.

Loki snarled, the wind whipping his hair back, the cold air hurting his face as he plummeted, following Bragi.

“Come on…” he muttered, striving forward, reaching for more and more magic, _needing_ it to work “Damn it, come on!”

He forced the tendrils he could feel inside him mount, get stronger and stronger and though it blackened his vision, he didn’t stop.

And then, suddenly, something freed inside him.

And Loki yelled in triumph.

*** 

Bragi’s eyes flew open when everything went white.

And he stopped falling.

***

Loki felt Thor’s hand around his ankle, felt Bragi’s wrists in his hands.

Felt his magic disintegrate Farbauti before he hit the Jotunhiem floor, turning him into dust and hearing his pained scream echo into the distance.

***

Balder waited, heart beating faster than he thought possible as he waited for his brothers and Loki.

Thor had dropped him to safety before jumping in after them and now…

…Oh, Balder feared the worst.

He yelled, leaping back when Thor shot through, Loki and Bragi attached to him and screamed in happiness when they landed a few feet away, into safety.

Loki stood, Thor hovered over the bleeding Bragi and Balder ran over, embracing Loki tightly, lifting him off the ground.

“You foolish idiot, what was that!?” he beamed

Loki laughed “I don’t know, it just happened, it …”

Balder frowned when Loki broke off and pulled away.

“Loki, what…?”

It was then that Balder noticed the bright red blood dripping down Loki’s legs, painting the snow red as he backed away, looking down at himself in horror.

There was no injury.

But Loki couldn’t stop bleeding


	32. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And it all ends, the circle completed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I was so moved when I was ending this, cos I DIDN'T WANT TO! I wanted all u guys to keep commenting and giving me so many happy words to read, I just ...
> 
> I have these feels.
> 
> You broke them
> 
> Dedicated to IfIWereMagneto for sticking by each and every freakin plot twist I had!
> 
> To segaazar for the comments that made me laugh and snort every freakin time I read them.
> 
> To Sigynthefathful for reading everything I wrote and commenting on it.
> 
> To Tree_chan for her inspiring words
> 
> To Angrboda the Witch for her drawings
> 
> and to EVERYONE who sent me kudos or told me they were reading my story.
> 
> Seriously, this preachy note is for you guys, okay!?
> 
> Thank you

There was chaos, writhing within him like panic.

His blue eyes fixed onto golden, as his brother looked up at him, dazed, bleeding, torn open and half dead.

Thor threw aside his hammer, levered himself above Bragi, talking to him.

“Don’t you dare” Thor rasped “Don’t you dare die, not when we have fixed everything, not when I owe you so much!”

Bragi’s answer was a flicker of his eyes as he lay open in the snow, bleeding out profusely.

Thor didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know how to help him. He could see shreds of flesh hanging off him, he could feel more and more blood gush out from those wounds.  

And there was just so much blood!

Thor heard a distant shout and raised his head, squinting in the dark depths of Jotunhiem to see two large figures running towards them.

Jotuns.

Thor paled when he realized that they would have _no_ chance of surviving an attack by those beasts, not when Bragi was so injured.

He looked down at his brother and opened his mouth to speak to him when he heard a frightened whimper come from behind him.

Thor whipped his head around, his eyes looking around for a moment before they fixed on Balder and Loki.

Balder was staring at Loki, his face almost grey as Loki stumbled away from him, his head lowered as he looked down at …

Thor’s heart stopped when he saw _blood_ collecting between Loki’s feet, following him as he stumbled back like a sinister blade.

Bragi choked out a word but Thor didn’t listen, because in that moment, Loki turned his head to him, his face frightened and pale.

“Th – Thor…” he whimpered and sobbed Thor’s name softly.

Thor wasted not a moment, and ran forward, Balder ran to where Bragi lay  and started to whisper the prayers his mother and father had taught him.

In the distance, and closing in fast, the two Jotuns increased their speed.

Thor grabbed Loki’s arms, looking down at his face “What…?”

“I don’t know…” Loki whimpered, stumbling “Thor, help me …. I don’t know…”

“Thor, we must go!” Balder called 

And calming his racing heart, grabbing Mjolnir in his fist, Thor looked to the skies.

“Hiemdall!”

Light erupted from above, encompassing them all in nothing but white, heat and color, before they vanished.

The Jotuns didn’t stop running forward, though and stopped only when they reached the spot the brothers and Loki had left.

Hyrm looked down at the blood and turned to his mate with a grim expression.

Jarnsaxa raised his head to the skies

“Hiemdall,” he said very firmly “grant us passage into Asgard”

***

The moment their feet touched the ground, Thor saw his friends waiting them.

Fandral and Volstagg rushed forward to Balder and Bragi, a healer with them while Sif brought forward horses for Thor.

Loki whimpered in pain and agony and Thor held him close, uncaring that Loki’s knees had given away.

He lifted his hammer, shook his head to Sif when she paled at the blood Loki dripped on the bridge and shot to the skies without a word.

Loki clung to him, hiding his face in his neck.

“I’m so sorry” Loki whimpered “I’m sorry, I’m sorry….”

Thor didn’t speak; he was afraid he would start screaming if he did.

He soared to the skies, right into the castle, not stopping when he came to the halls and startling every single person as he carried his beloved forward.

Thor landed before the healer’s wing, dropped his hammer, lifted Loki snugly into his arms and ran forward.

“Help!” he kicked open the doors and ran in “Someone help him, please!”

The healers, huddled over some potions, broke apart and ran over, paling when they saw what had happened.

One of them took Loki from Thor and placed him on the bed.

“Thor…”

“He can’t stop bleeding” Thor grabbed a young healer and looked into her eyes “He can’t stop bleeding, please, you have to…”

“Thor” Loki choked

Thor spun around and leaned over him, Loki grabbed his shoulders

“I ... I didn’t mean it” Loki whimpered, looking into his eyes as he lay there, flat and terrified “Our baby… I didn’t mean…”

Thor stared into his eyes, his throat constricting. He couldn’t speak and Loki’s lip quivered.

“Thor?”

The door banged open behind them but they both barely heard it.

“Majesty!”

“Move aside!” Odin’s voice came over and a moment later, Thor was hauled back, stumbling back until someone steadied him from behind.

He didn’t know it was Balder until he felt his brother embrace him from behind.

From the doors, a stretcher carried a bloody Bragi inside, setting him on the other side of the room.

Thor didn’t know if he was living or dead.

There were healers around Loki, blocking him from Thor’s vision and he wanted to move forward, but Balder held on.

Odin was yelling instructions and the healers moved a little, nudging each other and it took Thor a moment to realize they were removing some of Loki’s clothes.

One of them broke off to the side and returned with a large cotton ball and a sheet.

A few moments later, Thor heard Loki’s sharp cry of pain.

“Loki!” 

Thor pulled against him and Balder grabbed him around the waist, pulling him back.

“Thor, this will not help him!” he said as Thor struggled “We have to go!”

“No!” Thor called, trying to push Balder off “He needs me!”

Another, loud cry erupted from Loki and Balder faltered when he saw wads of bloodied cotton being taken away from the bed.

Thor waited not a moment and ran out of his brother’s grasp to run to Loki. The healers moved before he could shove them and Thor braced himself over Loki, hands on either side of his head.

Loki’s face was pale and wet, tears slipping down his cheeks as he kept his eyes closed and his head turned aside.

“Loki”

He gasped softly and turned to look at Thor, his green eyes swimming in tears “Thor, please…”

“Hush” Thor reached down and grasped his face, leaned down to kiss his cheeks, taking his tears away “I’m right here”

Loki wept softly and his trembling hands reached up to grab Thor’s biceps.

There was rustling of fabrics going on behind Thor blending into muttered orders, but he didn’t look. His eyes were focused on Loki, nothing else.

He heard another voice, a familiar and new at the same time, rumbling something.

Loki didn’t look either, focused on getting himself lost in Thor’s eyes.

“No matter what happens” Thor whispered all of a sudden “never doubt that I love you”

Loki’s lip quivered.

“Hyrm” Odin’s voice said “If you could apply it, I will enhance it with magic. The rest of you, leave or turn your heads”

Loki swallowed as he felt his knees being raised and spread under the sheet, his trousers already gone.

“Keep looking at me” Loki pleaded “like you did all those days ago, please. Don’t stop … looking at me”

Thor nodded and locked his gaze with Loki.

“Alright” Odin’s voice gave Hyrm permission.

Loki gasped as something cool touched his throbbing channel then cried out, closing his eyes as it went inside.

He sobbed loudly, the sound raw and desperate and arched his back.

And screamed.

***

_**EIGHT WEEKS LATER** _

Thor looked up, biting his lip to keep from smiling when a groaning, moaning miserable figure emerged from the washroom.

Loki hadn’t even bothered to dress in his sleep clothes. He had on a thick, blue bathrobe as he padded out, lacking his usual grace.

Thor didn’t comment on how Loki was wearing his robe, instead of his own and put aside the book he was reading.

Loki rubbed another towel in his tangled, unruly hair and trudged over to the bed, falling face down on it with a groan.

“I hate you” he announced

Thor pulled his lips inwards “I see”

“You did this to me”

“I am aware”

“Fix it”

Thor sniggered “And how do I do that, Beloved? Have you taken the potions Sigyn made for you?”

“No” Loki said “and figure out how to fix it yourself, Dearest”

Thor smiled at the nickname, recalling the first time Loki had said it to him and feeling his heart soar.

“You should have them” Thor said, standing and going to get them “They will help with the…”

“Say ‘expansion of the hips’ to me and I will burn you where you stand”

Thor lowered his head to hide his grin and walked to the cabinet Loki kept the potions in. He pulled out the vials and walked over to Loki as he lay as he had fallen, legs comically parallel to the ground as they stayed above it while Loki lay as an ungrateful heap half on the bed.

“I was going to say ‘pain’”

“You’re a pain”

Thor chuckled, placed the vials on the bedside table before he straightened. He exhaled when Loki didn’t move.

“Loki” Thor said “turn over”

Loki huffed and curled up; a stubborn refusal to move.

“Loki, you need your potion, my darling”

“I need this out of me”

Thor smiled “All in good time”

“Eight months” Loki corrected “And I dare you to say otherwise”

“I won’t”

Then Thor sighed and moved forward, lifting Loki gently into his arms. Loki made an irritated sound but huddled closer, resting his head on Thor’s shoulder before Thor sat on the bed, back against the headboard, one foot set on the floor, the other folded under them as Loki sat in his lap.

“Where does it hurt?” Thor asked, kissing Loki’s head 

“Everywhere” Loki whispered, stroking Thor’s collarbone with a thumb and curling one hand under his own chin.

Thor hummed and reached out to lift the first vial and opened it, showing it to Loki “Drink”

Loki made a face, but did as Thor asked. He took a sip and handed it back to Thor, letting him put it back and waiting as Thor handed him the other one.

Loki took that as well, then leaned against Thor, staring out of their small terrace, the one he could look out of as he lay in bed every day.

He began to breath slowly as he relaxed against his darling lover.

“Thor?”

“Hmm?”

“I …” Loki licked his lips “I mean…”

Thor’s brow furrowed as Loki stuttered “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong” Loki said “I just wanted to say something; it seems silly”

Thor shook his head, setting his lips against Loki’s temple “Nothing is silly if it comes from you”

Loki sighed softly “I’m glad I found you”

Thor frowned, a little confused.

“And I’m glad it was you that walked in through that doorway” Loki nuzzled Thor’s neck

Thor grinned like a fool and pulled Loki close, placing a hard kiss on his cheek before he started to nuzzle it with his nose.

“Ack!” Loki tried to push Thor away and ended up even more crushed against his idiot “You’re doing this to annoy me, aren’t you?”

Thor laughed deeply and bit his cheek.

Loki yelped and shoved him off, leaning away when Thor placed his arms around his waist to keep him there, and rubbed his cheek against his own, glaring at him.

“You…”

“Idiot? Moron? Ass? Fool? Pain?” Thor quoted Loki’s favorite names for him “Or something else?”

Loki wasn’t amused “Something else. I’d rather not say, the baby can hear me”

Thor laughed and pulled Loki again.

“Thor!” Loki groaned as Thor manhandled him, “Gah! Stupid Thor what are you doing!?”

Thor fell to the side, embracing Loki with his arms and legs around him, trapping him against him as he lay on the bed, cheek pressed against Loki as he cuddled him.

Loki sighed loudly, his arms trapped, his annoying husband strapped to him like a leech.

There was nothing he could do, so he sighed, letting Thor know how irritated he was.

“Are you done?”

“No” Thor hummed, tightening himself around Loki further “Not yet”

“I want to throw up on you”

Thor chuckled “No, you don’t”

“I wish I could”

Thor chuckled “You like it”

“You’re a python”

“I’m _your_ python”

Loki blinked and the softest smile came over his lips.

He wondered how he could have been this lucky, how he could have gotten someone like Thor and how, no matter how much he thanked the stars and fate and whatever else had brought them together, it would never, ever be enough.

“See? You like it”

Loki groaned in despair.

***

What woke Thor, after he’d slept that night, finally annoying Loki to the point where Loki nearly bit him, was the feeling of the bed quiver.

And it was once he’d opened his eyes and gotten out of his sleep haze, he found out that not only was the bed not shaking, but he could hear soft, soft weeping.

Thor levered himself on one elbow and looked behind him, his face becoming pained when he saw Loki curled up, one hand massaging a hipbone while the other was fisted in the pillow he was biting to keep his sounds from waking Thor.

He was shaking as he cried and that was why the bed was moving.

“Loki?” Thor asked, turning over.

Loki startled, gasping softly. He took a deep breath and sniffed before he spoke.

“It’s alright, Thor” he said, thickly “Go … go to sleep, I’m fine”

“You’re crying” Thor lit a candle and moved closer 

“No –“ Loki sniffed and wiped his eyes, his voice still thick “No, I’m not”

“Beloved, what’s wrong?” Thor slid over and put an arm around Loki, grasping him to his chest and kissing his shoulder.

It seemed to break Loki because he gave a soft sob and closed his eyes, falling back on the bed.

“It hurts”

Thor’s expression shattered and he blinked a few times before looking down at Loki.

“It hurts so much”

His pale hand searched and found Thor’s, giving it a squeeze “Nothing is helping”

Thor looked _wretched_ and he squeezed Loki’s hand back. He swallowed before he spoke.

“Where does it hurt?”

Loki sniffed “My hips and legs, all the way down”

Thor nodded and leaned over to kiss Loki’s cheek “Stay calm, I’ll be right here”

Gently extracting himself from Loki, he got out of bed and walked to the washroom, giving Loki a worried glance when he curled up again and dragged his feet on the bed a little.

Swallowing his guilt, Thor walked to the tub and began to fill it with hot water, putting inside some bubble bath and watching as the steam lifted one of two bubbles into the air.

When it was filled enough, Thor pulled off his sleep tunic and went to the bedroom again.

Loki was panting softly, his eyes shut as he tried to focus on something else.

So when Thor came back, he startled and looked up at him with teary eyes.

“What…?”

“It’s okay” Thor whispered, leaning over him “put your arms around my neck, I will carry you”

“I’m not going to the healers”

“I’m not taking you there” Thor said gently “Come on”

Satisfied, Loki lifted his arms, placing them around Thor and sighed as Thor lifted him, the pressure of his hands under his knees easing some of the pain.

He watched as Thor took him to the bath and saw the tub.

“Thor, I had a bath” he said softly, but he didn’t say much else as Thor set him on his feet and pulled his robe off before carrying him again and stepping into the bath.

Loki hissed at the hot water and sighed loudly when it immediately began to soothe him.

He held Thor tighter when he sat on a bench and closed his eyes, setting his forehead on Thor’s shoulder.

“Thank you” he whispered, curling and uncurling his toes

Thor hummed and began to rub his back a little, then, when he was sure Loki was firmly placed in his lap, he began to knead his thighs.

Loki relaxed even further and a shuddering breath left his lips as Thor continued to massage him.

“I’m sorry I woke you”

Thor kissed his hair “Don’t be. I’m ashamed I didn’t wake up sooner”

“It’s just …” Loki said lazily “It hurt so much”

“I’ll ask the healers if they can get you something stronger for the pain tomorrow”

Loki hummed and pulled Thor closer, content on using him as a pillow or bed “Okay”

Thor kissed his head again and continued his massage, resting his jaw on Loki’s head when it rested on his shoulder and watching the steam and bubbles before him.

Eventually, he heard a soft snore and realized the bath was getting cold.

***

Loki woke to comfort.

The dull aching that had been a constant torment for the past week and a half was gone, faded from his body and leaving him in so much comfort that it took him a long time to discover the reason for it.

And it was only because that reason snored in his ear loudly, that Loki realized it.

Thor, his lovely, beautiful husband was lying on top of him.

Loki, who lay on his front, hands curled under his chest, the warmth of the bed keeping him contented and literally pressing him into the bedding, pressing the pain out of him.

It was wonderful and Loki wondered how long he had been sleeping like this, carefree and calm.

He couldn’t really turn his head, not that he wanted to, to see out of the window and judge the time, nor did he want to break this easy, relaxing moment between him and Thor.

He wiggled a little, to get even warmer and smiled and Thor didn’t even stir.

A moment later, Loki’s eyes drooped again and he fell off into sleep.

***

“Mead?”

Loki gave Idunn a dry glare from between his lashes as she beamed at him and deliberately downed a flute of bubbling mead. Her blue eyes sparkled as she lowered it, winking at him.

“Delicious”

Loki rolled his eyes “Please, it would only bother me if I had a liking for it, my dear, so drink as much as you like.”

Idunn huffed and made a face at him before placing the glass aside and leaning over the table.

They were waiting in the suite Odin and Frigga used, as the others arrived for dinner.

Thor was standing at the balcony, looking out into the night skies and Loki chuckled as he raised a hand, tracing the moon and stars above.

Sometimes his husband did the most charming things.

“Well?”

Loki blinked and turned to look at Idunn, realizing he’d missed a question.

“I’m sorry, I was…”

“I know” Idunn chuckled “Haven’t you grown tired of gawking at him? You’re already pregnant, how could you still want it?”

“Idunn!” Loki flushed a deep, deep red, placing his hands over his face

Idunn snickered “Oh, how I love annoying you. You color so perfectly”

And Loki flushed deeper, just to prove it.

Smirking at him, Idunn cleared her throat “It’s … it’s not bothering you, is it?”

Loki shook his head and looked down to see his middle. It wasn’t flat anymore, protruding a little, as it would when he was three months pregnant, but if he managed to put on enough layers, it was barely noticeable.

“I mean I have to sleep on the side or my back, which annoys me, but nothing else”

Idunn hummed “Loki, you need to go to a healer, have things checked out”

Loki lowered his head.

It was the same thing Thor, and everyone else told him. to go to a healer and see if things were coming along as they should, but Loki was … hesitant.

He didn’t _know_ anyone, didn’t really trust anyone to do the job correctly and the one time Thor had suggested letting his mother have a look, Loki had almost started to cry.

His own Father in law had …

…well, even though Loki owed him his life and the life of his unborn child, he could never forget the fact that Odin had touched him in a place so intimate, looked at him there.

That was a memory he didn’t cherish and wanted gone, tried to erase it from his mind, but the more he saw Odin, the more humiliated he felt.

“Loki?”

Loki sighed and rubbed a hand over his belly “I know…”

“You are being really stupid” Idunn commented lightly

Loki lifted a shoulder in a shrug.

“Isn’t there _anyone_ you can trust?”

There was, Loki thought, but he didn’t think it was possible.

But before he could say anything and fortunately, Thor returned and smiled at them both.

“What are you discussing?” he leaned down and kissed Loki on the mouth.

Loki smiled and ran his hand down Thor’s arm as he sat beside him.

“Loki can’t keep his hands off you”

Immediately, Loki snatched his hands into his lap and Thor roared in laughter.

“I know” he placed an arm around Loki’s shoulders and kissed his temple “neither can I. Why, the other day, Loki did something with his tongue that…”

“No!” Idunn shrieked and stood, almost toppling her chair “You say another word and I will cut you!”

Loki was sniggering behind his hand and Thor was grinning because Idunn had covered her ears in an attempt to keep from hearing him.

The door opened and Balder came in, frowning at the scene, then smiling widely when he saw Idunn.

All inappropriate trauma forgotten, Idunn immediately turned to him, taking a running leap right into his arms.

“Oh, I missed you, too” Balder muttered against her lips before spinning her around and melding her back against his front, kissing her shoulder and looking at Loki and Thor.

“Greetings on this beautiful evening to both my brother and his beautiful green pumpkin”

Thor laughed and Loki gave Balder a dry glare.

Balder winked at him before straightening and walking Idunn back to the table.

“So” Thor asked as he picked up a goblet to drink out of “Have you decided on a date?”

“No, not yet…” Balder began.

“Four months from now” Idunn piped in.

“What!?” Loki snapped before he could stop himself “but I’ll be huge!”

Idunn grinned at him, the movement all cheers and evil “I know”

Loki glared at her “You are so insidious”

Idunn snickered and looked at Balder “It is alright, is it not?”

“Of course it is” Balder said gallantly, kissing her hair.

“Have you prepared yourself, then?” Thor asked Balder “To be enslaved?”

“Enslaved?” Balder and Loki asked simultaneously.

Balder bit his lips and Loki glared at Thor.

“You think I enslaved you?”

“But of course!” Thor beamed “enslaved, enchanted, enraptured, ensnared, trapped and kept for all eternity because I cannot live without you”

Thor leaned over and nuzzled his nose against Loki’s, making the other scoff and slap at his shoulder, but he was blushing.

Balder smirked at the public display of affection and the way Loki was both embarrassed and unbelievably happy.

“So” Balder said, prompting Thor to separate from Loki momentarily “Where are the parents?”

“Oh, they’ve gone to visit Bragi’s…”

Instantly, grief broke upon all of them.

Idunn, who had been thinking of teasing Loki once more, lowered her gaze to the table at the mention of the brave warrior lost.

Balder bit his lips and looked to the night skies, Thor looked at Balder and Loki looked at his fingers, trying to keep the sense of loss at bay.

Bragi, his friend, brother and mentor was gone.

Three months had passed since he left them so quickly so, cruelly.

Thor’s brother, the one he never thought he would gain was lost to them, the pain was so evident on his face.

His eyes went to the skies, just like Balder’s wondering where the man was, if he was finally happy when he was so far away.

“Have…” Balder swallowed heavily and looked to Thor “Have you talked to Father about him?”

“It wouldn’t matter” Thor said somberly “he wouldn’t return to us”

“What if the All Father told him of our sentiments?” Idunn asked “we hold no ill will, none of us do”

“He tried” Loki told her “but Bragi wouldn’t listen. He thinks it was his fault, his actions that caused everything to happen”

“He was under a spell, he didn’t have control over what he did”

“We know” Balder kissed his lover “but he says it matters naught; he harmed us all. It’s nonsense, we want nothing more than to tell him it’s utter nonsense”  

“That would require him actually consenting to meet you” Loki said gently, then looked at Idunn “he has refused to meet us, any of us. He feels guilty, unworthy of even gazing upon us. He lowered his eyes to the floor when I last met him, muttering to me, calling me _Highness_. I tried so hard to get him to look at me, but he wouldn’t …”

Thor gave his shoulder a squeeze and sighed softly “Mother and Father know where he lives but he made them give them their word that they will not tell us”

“Aye” Balder told Idunn “He needs … healing, Mother helps him and so does Father, but he wont …”

“He won’t even look at you, such is his guilt and shame” Idunn said “I know it’s terrible, but I understand it, somewhat. He’s a warrior, with a warrior’s honor and he was meant to protect you, not harm you. Even if you understand it was beyond his control, it doesn’t change the fact that he hurt you”

Silence fell again.

Then Idunn smirked “You know … your parents are under oath not to tell you”

Thor and Loki frowned “Aye”

“But no vow bounds them not to tell _me_ ”

She grinned slowly and laughed when three dumbstruck, extremely handsome men stared at her.

It was an affect she always wanted to have on men.

***

Bruce kept his awe well hidden.

His assistant, however, did not.

“Shit”

Bruce chuckled, looking behind him as they carried all the things they would need “I think that is the first time I heard you curse, Captain”

Steve looked at him, then back up at the realm before him “Warranted, if you ask me”

Bruce sniggered “That it is”

Asgard was _stunning_ in her beauty, standing before them like a realm of dreams, the epitome of imagination.

She was gold and amber and pearl and diamonds, all something Bruce could never have imagined, no matter how hard he tried.

From the Rainbow Bridge he walked on, as he dragged the medical machinery and other things forth, to the universe below and around him, the waves of the ocean beneath him and the molten gold that illuminated from the city.

“Shit” Steve cursed again.

Bruce laughed once more “God, I wish Tony was here”

***

“Okay, now breathe deeply”

Loki obeyed, inhaling at length, his green eyes focused on Bruce and the contraption in his hand.

Bruce nodded, then lowered the stethoscope to Loki’s diaphragm “Once more”

Loki breathed again, his hands squeezing Thor’s as the man stood behind him.

Bruce hummed, then pulled the stethoscope out of his ears before looking at Loki, “May I?”

Loki nodded and looked at Thor.

Bruce touched his ample middle, feeling his way around Loki’s ribs, his chest, then pressing down a little.

“Does this hurt?”

“No” Loki shook his head

“Good” Bruce said, then turned and lifted a device Loki was immediately interested in.

“What’s that?”

Bruce looked at him and smiled “A gift from Tony. He made this a little while after you left. It helps me look at your baby, like that machine from earlier?”

“But that was bigger”

“And Tony is a genius” Bruce grinned, then lifted Loki’s tunic and applied the gel.

Thor made a face and Loki squirmed a little.

Then Bruce lifted the device, flat and square.

“It looks like that pad of Stark” Thor muttered

Bruce smiled as he hovered it over Loki’s belly, his eyes focused on his task. His brow furrowed a little and he lowered the device in his hands closer to Loki’s middle.

Thor frowned “What’s wrong?”

Bruce shook his head “Nothing, it’s just … it’s a little bigger than it should be at three months, I just… you’re sure he’s only three months pregnant?”

Loki nodded “You were the one that saw it first”

Bruce nodded “Right. Well, it’s nothing to worry about. Things are going along well, minor discomfort should be expected but other than that, you’re fine”

Thor released an audible sigh and walked over to Bruce to thank him.

“You …” he placed a hand on Bruce’s shoulder “I cannot begin to thank…”

Bruce raised a hand “Please. It’s the least I can do. You know that, Thor”

Thor smiled at him and turned to see Steve walk over to help Loki sit up. He had discreetly given them privacy when Loki was being examined.

“Now make sure he takes these” Bruce tapped a few pills on Thor’s shoulder “I have used whatever knowledge you and the All Father gave me on Jotun anatomy and I think these will work just fine. Loki’s system is slower than ours, so I am giving him the gentlest pills. If they don’t work, I’ll up the dosage, understand?”

Thor nodded and took the pills from Bruce, placing them in his tunic.

Behind him, Loki swayed on his feet a little and Bruce walked over.

“Just … sleep” Bruce held Loki’s elbow “take the day off, rest and Thor…?”

“Aye?” the Crowned Prince took Loki’s hand from Steve’s arm.

“Massage his feet for him”

***

Bragi was cutting wood into neat slices to use for tonight when he heard something whiz through the air.

A moment later, a slim, green dagger embedded itself in the blade of his axe, inches from his face.

He looked up to see who dared to do this and froze when he saw three very familiar figures walking over through the fields to come to where he had stood his cottage, on the farthest reaches of Alfhiem, away from everyone and everything he’d once known. 

His heart, which he had long suspected dead and gone because of what he’d done, started to race as he saw his brothers walk forward, their gazes livid.

He swallowed loudly, praying to the norns and everything he knew that no, they weren’t here for the one thing he feared most.

He prayed they weren’t here to blame him, curse him, accuse him.

He stepped back when he saw Balder come up ahead and his golden eyes widened in relief and surprise alike when he saw Loki’s rounded middle and saw him waddle forward, one hand at the small of his back as he carefully lifted a leg over a fallen log, the other held by Thor. The moment he had his balance, he looked up at Bragi and snarled.

Bragi blinked and stood still, as though a spell had taken him over.

“You …”

“Stupid, idiot!”

Balder turned when Loki interrupted him, hobbling forward.

Bragi had barely time to blink when Loki’s fist connected with his jaw and he was thrown off his feet.  
He landed on the ground with a huff, sending up puffs of dirt.

Loki almost lost his own balance had Balder not stepped in and grabbed his shoulders to steady him.

“You foolish, idiotic man, how dare you do this to us!?” Loki yelled, moving forward again “Do you have any idea of what we went thought!? I am four months pregnant, you bastard, and I had to come here looking for you because you ran away like a coward!”

But Balder pulled him back, letting Bragi sit up and look at him.

The golden eyed warrior sighed “I …”

Another crack sounded as Thor punched him this time, and laid him flat on the ground.

Bragi didn’t move.

Thor froze when he saw Bragi’s eyes closed, his jaw dropping.

“Thor…”

“You knocked him unconscious”

“Oh dear”

***

“Thor, you can let me go, now” Bragi sighed.

“No”

Bragi made a long suffering noise and turned to Loki and Balder for help.

They merely grinned, deciding to be useless as Thor kept Bragi in a bear hug, lifting him a few inches off the ground as he embraced him.

“I should have gone somewhere farther off”

Thor only hummed and let Bragi endure the rest of his punishment.

***   

“He said, you need to give me a foot massage” Loki announced, sitting on the couch beside Thor, turning and placing his bare feet on Thor’s lap “Feel free to obey him”

Thor chuckled, but kept on reading the book he had open before him, his blue eyes moving from page to page as he took in the information, frowning every now and then.

Loki watched him a moment before he got tired and kicked at his legs “Thor. What are you doing?”

“Reading”

Loki scoffed and rolled his eyes “I know that. What are you reading?”

As an answer, Thor showed him the cover of the book and Loki’s brows raised in surprise at the title.

“You wish to see names for the baby?” Loki asked, lying low, his back against the arm of the couch and his feet in Thor’s lap.

“Yes” Thor nodded, going back to the book

“Have you found any?” Loki asked

Thor shrugged a shoulder “There are many, but nothing holds my fancy”

Loki groaned and took the book from him, firmly placing his feet in Thor’s lap as he stared to read what the book had to offer.

“Angelica”

“No” Thor began to knead Loki’s legs.

Loki hummed in contentment “Angus”

“That’s my horse’s name”

Loki chuckled “I know”

He flipped through a few pages “Fabio”

Thor snorted “That’s hilarious”

Loki grinned, then flipped again “Donavan”

Thor thought about it a moment, then ran his thumb down Loki’s foot “No” 

The pages flipped again “Jenna”

Thor shook his head and pressed the underside of Loki’s foot with his palm “Next”

“Roberto” Loki chuckled “Thor, where did you get this?”

“Earth”

“Ah, I see”

Loki flipped the pages again “Annabelle”

Thor made a face and Loki sniggered 

“Lara”

“No”

“Do you even want to name our baby?”

“Of course I do” Thor said, offended “I just want a lovely name”

“How about Lovely”

“Very funny”

“Silence, Thor, massage my feet”

Thor huffed, but went on “Next”

“Alberta”

“No”

Pages flipped

“Ruth”

“Disgusting”

“You’re disgusting”

“I’m Thor”

“Arrogant ass”

“Why are you calling _me_ names?”

“Because you won’t name our baby”

“What?” Thor yelped “That’s preposterous!”

“No it’s not” Loki placed the book on his belly and hung his head back with a sigh, closing his eyes.

Thor frowned “What’s wrong?”

“I’m tired” Loki said softly “and I carry so much weight it hurts my back”

Thor bit his lip “Can I help?”

Loki wanted to say no, but an idea popped into his head a moment later and he looked at Thor with an evil grin.

***

“This is so wrong”

“Be quiet” Loki chuckled “now you know how I feel”

Thor groaned and looked at his reflection in the mirror “I look unnatural”

Loki sniggered from where he lay on the bed, watching him.

Thor was wearing one of his tunics, the more tighter ones and looked just about Loki’s size as he had a watermelon stuffed under his clothes. He had a hand on his back as he looked at himself in the mirror.

“Okay, so how long do I have to wear this for?” Thor turned and hobbled over to Loki, making him laugh.

“When you get tired, your time starts” Loki told him, curling on his side and closing his eyes.

Thor smirked “Do you want to sleep?”

“Just for a moment” Loki said softly

“Alright, I’ll have dinner brought up for you”

Loki hummed and Thor walked over to kiss his cheek 

“Sweet dreams, Beloved”

“Thank you” Loki said lazily, squirming and getting comfortable.

Thor straightened and watched him for a long time before he went to the washroom and took out the watermelon.

He gasped and lifted it up “It’s a boy!”

***

“And do you, Balder, take this young woman, to honor and cherish, in holy matrimony, until death do you part?”

“I do”

Loki grabbed Thor’s hand and squeezed, his black and emerald robes glittering in the moonlight that came from the windows. 

“Then I now pronounce you bound together under the Realm Eternal, as man and wife” 

Thor made a squeak.

“You may kiss…”

Cheers erupted when Balder yanked Idunn close and pressed their mouths together and Idunn hurled the flowers in her hands away, without a care in the world.

Frigga was crying, Odin was grinning and Thor and Bragi had the goofiest expression on their faces.

Married.

Balder was married.

More cheers sounded and Loki clapped when Balder lifted Idunn into his arms and carried her away, going to the exit and getting covered in flowers everyone threw.

Reaching up and wiping a tear from his eye, Thor lifted Loki’s hand and kissed his knuckles.

“I love you”

Loki beamed at him “ Even as I look the way I do?”

Seven months into his pregnancy and Loki was beginning to dislike how large he had become.

Thor smiled and kissed his knuckles again “Of course”

Loki smiled at him, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

***

The next month, as Loki’s body prepared for birth, was not easy.

Loki was constantly irritated.

He didn’t even talk to Idunn, choosing to remain in his rooms and read or play with Hela if he wanted to.

He hurt everywhere and he was always tired. He thought he looked _huge_ and didn’t want people to see him.

More often than not, Thor would find him sitting on the couch, staring out into the skies, a melancholy look upon his face.

He asked him if he would like to go out and Loki would snap at him, occasionally escalating to an argument where Thor would stomp out and Loki would think himself ugly and ungraceful and a burden.

But Thor would return every night and embrace him, kiss him and tell him he was sorry.

Loki would fall asleep into his arms and all would be forgotten.

***

That night, Thor woke to the sound of weeping and sat up slowly, lighting a candle and turning to see Loki resting back against the headboard, knees pulled up as much as he could, arms folded over them and is face hidden as he cried.

It broke the Crowned Prince’s heart.

Thor clicked his tongue and slid over, pulling him close.

“Darling, what is it?”

Loki sobbed and pulled Thor close “I’m terrible”

He sniffed loudly and rubbed his face into Thor’s neck “I’m fat and useless and I say the meanest things to you! I’m a terrible spouse, how can you bear to look at me?”

Thor soothed him, “Beloved”

“How can you call me that, still?” Loki wept

“Hush” Thor cradled his head against his shoulder “enough, my darling”

Loki sobbed again

“Enough” Thor kissed his hair “do you think my love is so shallow? That it will vanish under a few meaningless words and phrases? That I love you because of the way you look?”

Loki sniffed

“I love _you_ , Loki” Thor said, rocking him “only you. And you can change anything about yourself, you cannot change my love. Understand?”

Loki whimpered

“Beloved?”

“Yes” Loki whispered

“Good” Thor lay back, taking Loki with him and rested him alongside him “now sleep”

“I can’t”

“Close your eyes, my love”

Loki took a deep breath, and obeyed.

“Excellent”

Then Thor’s hands began to scratch Loki’s back and he began to hum.

A few moments later, a snore came from the beautiful man in his arms and Thor smiled.

“Sleep, my darling” he kissed Loki’s hair “Sleep”

And like that, holding a huge, rounded being in his arms, Thor, too, fell into slumber.

***

“What do you think?”

Idunn placed the fabric on the bed where Sif and Sigyn sat.

Loki was perched on the opposite end of the room, in the most comfortable chair.

He was genuinely _huge_ now, and he was always tired. His back hurt, his legs hurt, everything hurt and if he wasn’t sleeping, he was complaining.

Which was the main reason Thor had demanded his friends to visit him.

A few weeks away from giving birth, Loki was a … disaster waiting to happen.

He snapped and growled and threatened and anyone who dared to cross his path ended up either in tears or intimidated by the young Jotun.

He had a terrible temper, Thor realized.

But right now, he was mellow, easy and calm. His eyes dropped every now and then and he desperately wanted to sleep.

But his friends were here and it would be rude.

And he had had enough of being a pain to everyone.

He tried to feign interest and was sitting himself up when it happened.

He felt a distinctive _pop_ somewhere below and froze.

A moment later, the seat under him began to get wet and Loki gasped loudly, gaining everyone’s attention.

Idunn spun around and paled when she saw something both Sif and Sigyn had missed.

Water …

…Loki’s water had just broke.

***

Bruce wiped his forehead and looked at Loki’s face.

“Are you calm?”

Loki nodded and Bruce went silent. He listened to the changes in Loki’s breathing as he lay in the healer’s wing.

They had the room to themselves, only Thor with them, holding Loki’s hand tightly. His face was pale and he looked like he was going to pass out.

“Do you feel any sort of pressure?” Bruce asked

Loki nodded “My … my lower back and here”

He touched just under his navel and Bruce nodded.

“That’s normal” he said kindly “just … tell me when something changes”

Loki nodded then cried out softly as another contraction hit.

“Relax”

“It hurts”

“I know” Bruce said and came over with some warm oil, massaging it into Loki’s sides and feeling the baby move “He’s already a warrior”

Loki gave him a nervous laugh and Thor seemed to start breathing again.

“Alright” Bruce stepped back once more “just tell me everything that happens”

“I will”

“Not you, Thor”

***

“How far apart are they?” Bruce asked “Is it painful?”

Loki was about to reply, but he broke off with a gasp as another one hit, his hand squeezing Thor’s.

“They hurt”

“Okay,” Bruce said, coming over to massage him again “Where is the pressure?”

***

“Does it feel like you want to push?” Bruce asked gently.

Loki’s mouth was a firm line as he crushed Thor’s hand between his, perspiration glittering on his forehead.

“I don’t know” he sounded desperate “I feel … it hurts!”

“Loki” Thor kissed his damp hair, tears in his eyes “I’m right here”

Loki let loose a miserable sob and turned his head into Thor’s shoulder.

“Let me see”

Bruce walked over, his face assured, and lifted the sheet that covered Loki’s lower half. 

A moment later, he paled when he saw the one thing he feared the most.

Blood.

***

“Alright, push!” Bruce yelled

Loki screamed loudly, inclining his body forward, sobbing and digging his nails into Thor’s hand and the bedding.

“I can’t!”

“You have to!” Bruce told him

Loki pushed, his face turning red, tears streaming down his face as he shrieked in agony. He sobbed loudly and brokenly and fell back into bed, shaking his head.

“I … c – cant!”

“Loki, get up!” Bruce ordered, keeping his legs apart, “You can do this, come on!”

Loki sobbed as Thor lifted him against his shoulder “I … I’m tired”

“I know” Bruce said “I know, but you have to do this, Loki, please”

Loki gave a pained groan and arched his back as agonizing pain shot through him.

He screamed and leaned forward again, trying to push it out.

“Don’t fight it, Loki, let it go”

Thor’s hand was dripping blood but the thunderer barely felt it as Loki screamed and cried in agony.

***

Loki was in labor for hours, a screaming, crying, mess and Thor wanted to _do_ something.

His beloved sobbed loudly and shook his head again when he pushed.

“Alright, I see it!”

Loki hollered in pain, letting Thor push him forward as Banner had instructed and sobbed loudly when it finally moved lower than his pelvis.

“Yes!” Bruce said, his hands and arms bloody, his form damp with sweat “You’re doing it, Loki, push it out”

Loki screamed again, his voice cracking and breaking as he gave one final, exhausting push.

And the sound of shrill crying filled the room.

Thor gasped and looked up when he saw Bruce cut the cord that connected Loki to …

Thor’s heart nearly stopped and he didn’t feel Loki sag against him.

…his child.

That was his child Banner was taking to the nurses he called in, his child that his mother was taking a hold of, his child that…

“Loki?”

Thor blinked when Banner’s panicked voice reached his ears.

“Loki!”

Thor looked down, his face becoming horrified when he saw that Loki had his eyes closed, his head lolled back over Thor’s arm and …

He wasn’t breathing.

***

Thor was dying.

He knew he was dying because he had no more heart.

That was why he couldn’t feel his brothers beside him as he sat on the bench, that was why he couldn’t see anything and that was why he couldn’t breathe.

He was dead, plain and simple.

He had either died when he was screaming Loki’s name, or when he had been dragged away, or when his father had thrown him out of the room.

He wasn’t Thor anymore, he was a shell, nothing.

He was nothing.

Without Loki, he was nothing.

Loki, the young man given to him, the one who had taken his heart and soul, the one who had …

…the one who had never wanted a child and now …

Thor shook his head.

Dead men didn’t think, they didn’t grieve.

That was why his eyes were still dry.

He was dead.

Just like Loki.

***

His screams rose to the skies and lightning ripped them apart, thunder shook all Asgard that night.

***

“Majesty?”

Thor looked up from where he sat with his head in his hands, his face pale, eyes hollow.

The healer gave him a soft smile “He’s awake”

***

Loki closed his eyes, holding Thor to his chest as the man wailed against him.

His voice was loud and rich and he shook with a might that moved even Loki and the bed he lay in.

His tears had dampened Loki’s tunic and he was sure Thor was going to leave bruises the way he held him.

It was raining outside, hail combining and crashing against the widows as Thor wept and cried against Loki, frightened.

Loki had scared him badly and nothing he could do would make up for it.

Nothing.

***

“Are you sure?”

“Yes” Thor said, bowing his head to him “Loki and I think it best that you take Jotunhiem’s throne”

“I…”

“We insist”

Jarnsaxa licked his lips “We…”

“No one will take care of it as you and your mate will” Thor said “You will have our full support and the Casket”

Jarnsaxa’s eyes widened 

Thor beamed at his silence before bowing his head “Is that accepted then?”

Jarnsaxa’s heart beat loudly within his chest.

He nodded

“Then excuse me” Thor grinned “Your Majesty”

***

Loki, who lay sleeping on his side, woke up slowly when he heard the door open and close very softly.

He was _exhausted_ , the birth had taken more from him than he ever thought and even now, days later, he could feel his muscles trying to right themselves, trying to forget how traumatizing it had been for him.

He breathed in deeply and lifted himself on one elbow to look behind him where Thor was sneaking about, trying to get at the crib without waking Loki.

“Greetings Prince” Thor whispered to their baby.

The baby, a boy, not yet named, smiled a little at the sight of his father and cooed, kicking his legs and fisting his hands for Thor.

Thor beamed “I knew you would grow to like me”

Carefully, he lifted the boy from the crib, into his large hands and beamed down at him.

“Oh, my darling, look at you” he whispered, rocking him “You’re growing bigger by the moment”

The child chuckled and beamed, blinking large blue eyes at Thor.

He cooed, looking up, his gaze unfocused and gave the ceiling a toothless grin.

“Oh, my beautiful warrior” Thor breathed, kissing the soft blonde head.

There was movement from the bed and Thor turned to see Loki looking at them, sitting up against the headboard.

Thor grinned “Beloved, you awaken”

Loki chuckled softly “How could I do anything else when you stagger about like that?”

Thor grinned and brought their baby closer, Loki lit a candle, too weak at the moment because his magic was focusing on healing him.

It hadn’t been an easy birth, and Loki had been – damaged – on the inside.

And though Odin had brought him to life, he hadn’t truly healed him.

So Loki was injured.

He smiled very softly as Thor came and put the infant between them on the bed, talking to him, whispering to him.

Loki watched, breathing deeply.

“Thor?”

Thor gave a soft yell, falling back on the bed when his child kicked him in the jaw.

“I’m dead”

Loki grinned and looked at him “Again. We should name him”

“Aye” Thor said, once more playing with his babe, apparently back to life “How about Loki?”

Loki chuckled “We can’t do that”

“Why not?” Thor asked “It’s a beautiful name”

Loki made a face “Something else”

“Laufey?”

Loki blinked, his mouth parting in surprise, his eyebrows rising as he stared at Thor in absolute wonder.

His chest began to hurt and in that moment he came upon their child’s name.

“Tore”

Thor looked at him, confused “What?”

“We’ll name him Tore” Loki whispered “Thor’s warrior”

***

To say that Thor was ecstatic was an understatement.

***

Bragi was bored.

Dressed, once more in his best, he watched the ball take place before him.

The men and women celebrating the miracle of life danced and flitted about.

The music was loud, soft and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves.

Especially the lucky, married couple.

Idunn didn’t look pregnant, though she glowed.

And Balder seemed still in shock, not leaving his beautiful wife for anything.

For him, this was magic, nothing was going to ruin his life, nothing was going to beat this should it become a contest.

Balder was going to be a father – and it was all Idunn’s miracle.

Loki’s too, if Idunn’s expression was anything to go by.

She had glanced at the new parent all the while he had been there, mouthing thank you’s until Loki left, too worn out from his hectic birth.

Thor wasn’t there, either, but Tore was.

And that fact added to Bragi’s current boredom.

He hadn’t yet held his new nephew.

He made a face when Idunn grasped the child and rocked it, sticking her tongue out at Bragi when she saw him.

He rolled his eyes and turned to get a drink.

And came face to face with mischievous grey eyes ad red hair.

“General Bragi” Princess Freya bowed low to him and Bragi couldn’t look away.

His heart was beating faster and he had to swallow a few times before he spoke.

“P – Princess”

He bowed, then looked up and saw her offered hand.

“Will you not take me to dance?”

Bragi stared at the hand, then around.

Balder and Idunn nodded to him but he had only a moment’s notice before Freya suddenly grabbed his wrist and hauled him forward, leaving him to give Balder pleading glances from between the crowd.

But no one came to help him, save him from certain dance.

***

Loki was pushing off his robe when the dizziness hit, Thor was polishing his weapon.

The mage gave a soft gasp and fell to the side, his eyes rolling back in his head.

Thor looked up at the thud and paled.

“Loki!”

He screamed and ran forward, dropping to his knees beside Loki.

He didn’t know if he should touch or not, he was whimpering because Loki’s eyes were closed.

“No…” Thor breathed.

***

Thor knocked once before he entered the infirmary.

Bruce was cleaning up after him and Loki was in bed, looking a little pale.

Thor’s gaze went to his beloved and then to the doctor “Is he…?”

“He’s fine” Bruce placed a hand on Thor’s shoulder and gave him a smile “Missed you, though”

Thor barely heard and waited until Bruce left the infirmary with a hiss of the mechanical doors closing.

He walked over to Loki and sat on the bed.

Loki wasn’t looking at him, instead looking at his hands, his face grief-stricken.

Thor reached over and made him look up “What happened?”

Loki sniffed “I’m a problem, that’s what happened”

Thor’s face became hurt.

Loki sniffed “He said … he said we shouldn’t … I shouldn’t have more children”

Thor felt his heart break

“Until I’m a little older” Loki sniffed and closed his eyes “Or I will …”

Thor bit his lip “Darling, that isn’t something sad. You should be happy, you’re fine and…”

“And a problem” Loki whispered, looking down again “I cant even give you what you want”

Thor sighed “Loki, look at me”

Slowly, hesitantly, Loki did.

“You’re what I want” Thor told him with a sad smile “Only you. I would wait a thousand years for you, a million if you ask me to. You don’t have to be upset by this”

Loki sniffed and looked away again, flushing.

“He gave me this”

He showed Thor a small, square packet.

“For protection” 

Thor knew what that was.

And he couldn’t help making a joke.

“Nothing can stop the Thorseed”

Loki sniffed, then snorted, then laughed.

And Thor wanted to hear it forever.

***

“Help!!”

Steve was the first one on the scene, weapon aimed.

Thor was behind him and Clint was ready to fire from the other door.

But they all burst out laughing.

Tony was holding Tore in his arms, trying to get the boy to let go of his hair, but the baby hung on with the strength of his father.

He giggled happily and pulled yanking, Tony’s head forward.

“Will you guys help me!?” Tony yelled, pulling the baby away, then shouting when he didn’t let go.

Thor was in gales, doubling over and Steve couldn’t stand.

So Clint had to help.

“Wait!”

A click sounded, a photo was taken.

“I hate you Jarvis!!”

***

The shrill cry erupted from the crib and Loki groaned in despair.

“Tore…” he said “go to sleep”

But the baby, his son, had inherited his father’s lungs and he wanted to show them both that he knew how to use them.

He arched his little back and screamed.

Loki wanted to cry.

He pushed off his covers and sat up, only to have a large hand rest on his arm and pull him back.

“I’ll do it”

Loki blinked as he was laid back down and Thor stood to go to his baby.

“Greetings, warrior” Thor bent over the crib, smiling “ were you frightened? Bored? Did you want to scare your parents to death?”

Loki chuckled from the bed and turned over.

Tore cooed at Thor before he grinned, all tears forgotten, and lifted his arms to his father.

Thor sniggered and obliged, lifting him into his arms and looking down at him.

Blonde hair, blue eyes, he was his father’s son, truly.

“He’s made a mess” Loki told Thor from the bed

Thor frowned “No he hasn’t”

“He will”

Thor sniffed the air around Tore “No, he …”

A disgusting series of noises erupted from the baby and he looked up at his father, giggling.

“Oh”

Loki chuckled.

“I knew there was a reason you so easily let me handle him”

Loki hummed “Make sure you wash him, Dearest”

Thor rolled his eyes.

More noises filled the room a moment later.

Tore giggled.

And while he lay in bed, listening to his husband clean their darling little devil, Loki realized something that he had never truly thought of.

It was, truly Lady Jane that had set everything in motion, her death would cause new life, repair damages, mend bonds and give hope.

Loki got a family he never could.

Thor was saved from a darkness he couldn’t let go of.

Balder had a love and life, magic and endless apples that ultimately gave him the one thing he never thought he could have ; a baby girl.

Bragi, the lone warrior was swept off his feet by the lovely Freya, and given a second chance at life.

Asgard was at her brightest, Jotunhiem at her most powerful.

The Realms were one under the Tree of Life and it seemed nothing…

…nothing could ever go wrong again.

Not when such strong people remained standing under the lives they created, saved and relived.

His smile was soft as he lay there, thinking of his life, of loss and gain, of sacrifice and honor and he knew that no one could take it away from him, no one.

He would protect it until he himself died, this life that he had take for himself, this love that he couldn't live without.

When Thor came out and saw him, he smiled "What are you thinking of?"

Loki hummed and closed his eyes

"Gratitude, Dearest, to the one that gave her life for something so noble"

And he meant it

***

Frigga, the All Mother, the woman, in part, responsible for giving THor the push he needed for this happiness, smiled as she looked into her bowl, the very bowl she had used to make THor see this exact moment so long ago, shown him the happiness he could have, the one he had fought for so long when his wedding was announced.

She placed it aside, making the picture of happiness vanish before she snuck in with her husband, who lay sound asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, who did I scare with the scenes about Bragi and Loki being dead?
> 
> C'mon, guys I need this

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Cover for "Warbride by SatansSin"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5502947) by [PeggyStarkk (LupusUlulans)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LupusUlulans/pseuds/PeggyStarkk)




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